FAQ:
> what is MET?
Minimal equipment training. Best examples: weighted calisthenics, barbell + a squat rack, adjustable dumbbells. Also: progressive body weight calisthenics, kettlebells, sand bags (worse options tbh)
> what's best way to MET?
Squat rack + barbell + 1-2 pairs of 45lb plates + pairs of plates of all smaller denominations weighing a total of 2x45 lb + bench with adjustable back and seat.
That will let you do basically everything (even pullups and leg raises if your ceiling/rack are high enough).
> Should I get hecking dumbbellerinos as a first purchase for my home gym?
Honestly they are overrated for MET but if you don't care that much about getting strong, buy one of those dumbbells with detachable weights and with a bench it's gonna be enough for hypertrophy.
> what about muh hecking kettleberinos?
It's literally just a shitty dumbbell. Stop buying into the scam.
> bands/maces/sandbags?
Utter meme or FUCKING ULTRA SITUATIONAL. Basically don't waste your time unless you have an extremely specific attribute you need to train for sports. For strength or hypertrophy - extremely inefficient.
> but is there shit I can set up in my yard to work out?
Sure. You need: high bar (pull ups, hanging leg raises), two low bars (inverted rows, dips, roman leg raises or whatever it's called), super low bar (nordic curls).
Add to that backpack with weight and rings to do isolations on the bar and you're more or less set for life hypertrophically speaking.