>hit the fucking gym, you'll feel better
>put in some fucking effort in college, you get a 3.39 gpa without even trying so you have no excuse
>read the textbooks, yes I know the professors don't use them but do it anyway faggot
>also don't waste time on the basic engineering tract, go straight to mechanical so you don't waste a semester's tuition
>eat more food, I don't care if the dining hall chow is disgusting 3rd world garbage you'll look like a skeleton if you don't
>don't drink as much on the weekends
>don't join that stupid frat, it's a waste of money and there's too many niggers
>also look up stats on niggers and jews, it'll be important later
>quit fappin so goddamn much
>play less vidya, but also play better vidya like Yakuza 0
>everyone's faking it so there's no point in being afraid you don't know shit
>go to church, it doesn't matter which one
>its a shot in the dark but try asking out unicycle girl, she's homely looking but also not a retard
Looking back at the mistakes I've made everything could be a lot worse. Someone up top's gotta be looking out for me because there's no fucking way a retard like me should have gotten this far without failing.
