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/hikki/ - Hikikomori

The modern hermit

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A WARNING TO ALL NEW USERS IF YOU ARE NOT A HIKIKOMORI I WILL BAN YOU!! People who are going to work or school are not Hikikomori There are many people on here who can not leave their home Please choose your topic with consideration IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AT HOME INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OR MORE THEN DON'T POST HERE!

File: f341db1cd42f8b6⋯.jpg (105.54 KB,1190x793,1190:793,japan-hikikomori-Hiroki-Ch….jpg)

14849b No.6086 [Open thread]

What do you guys do to keep yourselves from being bored all day? i honestly feel like i've done everything.

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e07bee No.6409

>>6400

I tried watching some dramas a few years ago, but i only watched 1 to completion (my boss my hero)

I liked the yakuza aspect of it more than then high school stuff, but the comedy was good as well. might give it a rewatch honestly, i have fond memories of it

I'll check out that site though. thanks anon

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13d8ee No.6441

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Masturbate, read books and watch videos on youtube. I used to be able to watch anime, movies and tv shows but can't be bothered to anymore.

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4a18c4 No.6442

>>6441

Sounds like a usual day of mine anon did you just happen to lose interest in anime and movies?

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c130ab No.6446

File: ba8a37c0cb140f9⋯.jpg (332.61 KB,1400x1033,1400:1033,I Am a Hero - I Am a Hero ….jpg)

>>6086

i like to read manga, and listen to music

recently ive been listening to a lot of Type O Negative, and reading I Am A Hero

seinen with depressing main characters are my favorites

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4a18c4 No.6460

File: 0cbd36af11d245b⋯.jpg (774.43 KB,1528x2351,1528:2351,91n2qACDIIL.jpg)

>>6446

>i like to read manga,

Same here i recently started reading Yotsuba currently on the second volume.

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File: 2b6d75e37ec5cfb⋯.jpg (194.87 KB,1100x734,550:367,GlassBlowing0077c.jpg)

f1fd30 No.164 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

It's often that hikki and NEET talk about learning things and becoming smarter while being shut in. I fell for this mindset too but in hindsight it was shallow and pseudo-intellectual garbage. I went through a science/STEM atheism neckbeard phase.

I did the programming thing for years but didn't advance far enough to be able to do real world things with it. Now I have lost the drive to learn more. The idea that all technology is fun no longer appeals to me because it's impossible to know everything. Only a surface level knowledge of many things is not useful. I lack the focus and intelligence to get deep into a topic like become proficient at solving those hard programming tests on leetcode or hackerrank.

I learned a bit of some obscure language (but now forgotten it). I was able to watch Youtube videos at slow speed and understand basic things. It was never put into practice because people who use that language are so rare. It's also useless to me anyways on account of the whole shut in thing. I won't be using it in real life ever.

So ultimately what did I spend time on these things for. I have lost faith in the self learning thing.

What things have you learned that you have been able to put into practice?

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dd6acc No.6361

Reading fiction, reading philosophy, learning how to daytrade cryptocurrencies and trading everyday to make profit. Learned to program with several new languages, including Go which is swiftly becoming my new all time favorite language to use. Already taught myself how to build entire websites with it from scratch. I was a professional software developer working for a major US bank before becoming a hikki so I'm looking to learn more modern technology stacks and stay the fuck out of the banking field forever. I hate banks so much with all their stupid KYC/AML bullshit. I hope to get in at a cool startup or something. I would also highly prefer to work remotely now that I'm so comfortable with staying inside… Trying to get more sources of income. I get $700 a week from NEETBUX which is enough for food and rent and bills but it doesn't give me a lot to save up and invest with. Just trying to make money so I can be a millionaire and buy a nice secluded house one day.

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6e247f No.6368

>>6361

I work at a "cool startup" that lets me work from home (though I'm only 30 minutes from the office). Great thing about hikki is I can save almost all of my money (my only hobbies are reading literature and reading manga, along with some small programming projects for fun) and theoretically I could retire at around 32 if I put all my savings at a 3% interest rate, which gives me around $40k a year off interest. I don't like thinking about money too much so I haven't looked into investing at all. I don't think I'd be that great at it though. All that said none of it really helps with my depression/what's-the-point-of-it-all mentality.

My advice to you is if you want a remote job go on hackernews who is hiring threads and ctrl-f for REMOTE. They are surprisingly common and well-paying, but as you know the interviews can be very challenging.

Cool to see another lit/cs person here. I used to be into philosophy in college but never really liked it, other than some select ones like the Stoics and Daoists. Russell/Ayer/Frege/etc are cool too.

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dd6acc No.6371

>>6368

Thanks. I guess I'll check out HN for remote jobs. Never tried to do that before. Haven't been on that site in a while. Been out of work for a while and the neetbux will stop coming eventually

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dd6acc No.6372

>>6368

The Stoics are my favorite, btw, Anon.

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5d0039 No.6392

>>409

>learning about philosophy and literature

>useful for practical application

If you had said something like sewing, cooking, or woodworking it would have been regrettable, but the only thing you missed through reading novels instead is the ability to act snobbish about your knowledge.

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File: 6e1fdde644b3cd0⋯.jpg (917.17 KB,750x1039,750:1039,1Vl8PZ6.jpg)

81980c No.6 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

Who here has found inner peace whilst being a hikki?

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8c3d13 No.6327

>>6325

>I haven't been a hikki for as long as some of you I'm sure but I feel like I have, yes.

How long have you been a hikikomori anon?

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02e23e No.6328

I feel at peace when nobody's around and actually love being alone, so I kinda have. Unfortunately I have to mooch off my parents and that trumps my happiness so Im working towards a viable hermit life with wifi

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8c3d13 No.6344

File: 57edc53b5fb3fa5⋯.jpg (50.28 KB,420x514,210:257,57edc53b5fb3fa568750b47c49….jpg)

>>6328

>I'm working towards a viable hermit life with wifi

Sounds comfy anon.

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35e31a No.6345

>>6327

about 7 months now

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aac871 No.6347

The portion of people in online suicide communities who are NEET is astounding. I wonder if it can be anything more than a local maximum.

Everyone should get sabbaticals in life too though. There are people who never get to spend 6 months, 3 months, or even 1 month to themselves in their whole lives.

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File: 176546d62c1e9d5⋯.jpg (609.31 KB,1600x1059,1600:1059,2uA9S.jpg)

d8e0d6 No.4138 [Open thread]

My mom is starting to push the idea of being committed. So much so that she's going with me on my medication appointment. I'm kind of open to the idea as it'd allow me to get neetbux a bit easier but I doubt it's actual usefulness. I'll just get drugged out of my mind for 3-4 days.

Thoughts?

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b208bf No.5762

>>5760

The competent people know, but can never do anything about it because of the other millions of people causing the problems and making them worse. Good humans have always been the minority. Most people are either mediocre and enabling or actively evil and destructive. But it's not just that, everything is broken, and everything is to blame. It's the same thing in all professions, no matter how important they may be. I don't think this is different in other countries since that seems to be the case for other things everywhere. This is all proof that normal people are actually crazy as well, and actual sanity isn't very common. Society is driving people to insanity and they can't even see that it's happening. The only thing to do is to try to save yourself and a few other people are hope that the normalfags lead the species to extinction, for its own good.

I have never been in that kind of situation, so I wouldn't know anything from personal experience, but I always hear this kind of thing from people that I assume are Americans and from people that I know are Americans, but I heard your story multiple times, actually. It's pretty common, and depending on the situation, you may end up having to deal with enough sensory deprivation to actually push you over the edge into actual insanity. You are not even allowed to die. I understand keeping someone from committing suicide, but even that becomes a cruelty when you are practically torturing them by placing them in an environment that isn't suitable for humans, with nothing to do.

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1455f1 No.5763

>>5760

>in America it is one step above prison

when I was in one, there were a few ex cons in as well and they all said they'd rather be in a prison rather than the mental hospital

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222957 No.5786

I actually liked being in crazy jail. You basically just watch TV and drink coffee waiting for the next meal.

but if privacy is a major concern for you then you're fucked because it will be hell for you

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749e9b No.5791

File: dbd677886fd6ac1⋯.jpg (75.09 KB,636x960,53:80,asylum-46947.jpg)

It's never been necessary to commit me.

There have been some times when I seriously thought about it, but I've just been given some benzos to calm me down and I waited in the mental hospital waiting room until I was feeling a bit better, then I got back home.

I never liked the idea of staying there, here in Europe it's not that bad, but it still is a pain to sleep far from home, etc.

My medical case, although serious enough that I'm a hikki, is not that serious to require occasional hospitalizations.

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5e56bf No.6246

>>5786

>drink coffee

We only had decaffeinated slurry water. You had to drink four or five cups to feel the effects

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File: 5a96612db7f75ae⋯.jpg (64.59 KB,550x400,11:8,oystermouth-castle.jpg)

58fdb8 No.2350 [Open thread]

Have you ever verbalized it at all?

I had an insurance mandated medical examination yesterday. The second question was about my professional history, and since it's unusual and the thought of having to explain, once more, made me agitated I just said it: "I have not really left my home in 15 years! And I am socially isolated. … I buy groceries, I see a doctor four times a year, I am friendly and helpful towards my neighbors if they need something, but that's it. That's why we are here today."

That hit me hard. I never said anything like it before. I never even thought about it this way. Sure, I've said "I don't get out much." or "I am homebound, anyway." But I never verbalized that I have been isolated in my home for many, many years.

There is nothing else here. I just wanted to share the story, and am curious how other people think and talk, or don't, about their situation.

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610e71 No.5899

>>5894

Are you in Japan? How's therapy going?

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610e71 No.5901

>>5897

> he had the typical oh just get over it normalfag type of attitude but anyway i'm glad i stopped going.

It's sad how many therapists treat their job like its a pasttime they indulge in whenever they feel like it, and for everyone else they're just stalling for time until the end of the session so they can charge you that sweet $$$$$

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c5955b No.5903

>>2350

I talked to a therapist, but I didn't use the word hikikomori. Just listed all the symptoms of autism that I have, and by that I mean that I listed almost every imaginable symptom.

>>5901

They are about as incompetent as the average human tends to be. And that means completely incompetent. In order to feel better, people like to assume that most professionals and authority figures know what they're doing, and that keeps them from losing faith in society, and therefore keeps society from collapsing. In reality, this isn't the truth at all. No matter what they do, no matter how important it is, people tend to be more incompetent than you want to imagine. Finding a good therapist (or just one that does whatever happens to be necessary) can take a few tries.

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2e1b04 No.5913

>>5897

>Is he/she a good therapist

Yes. Still not helpful though because I'm a lost cause.

Yes, I've read in another thread about your 70 years old therapist. It amuses me that you went there more than one time. An old dude who doesn't use a computer can't know a thing about modern world problems. If you ever consider going to therapy again, try to find at least a young one. i tried other three therapists before finding this one, it's not that easy.

>>5899

I'm in Europe. I've abandoned therapy because I'm a lost cause, I feel like an alien amongst others and I have no purpose in life and this will never change, I can only distract myself.

I went outside and met people though, but it's useless, so I'm back into my nest. My problem is not much anxiety, it's more about a neverending existential crisis.

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8774a6 No.6188

File: de0dea30cb2e42b⋯.png (313.01 KB,713x402,713:402,e1f6842030970af832e6381c6e….png)

>>5913

> Still not helpful though because I'm a lost cause.

I understand that pretty much at this point that's how i feel about myself as well.

>I've read in another thread about your 70 years old therapist. It amuses me that you went there more than one time.

He was a bad therapist but going did give me at least something to do so i wasn't sitting in my room 24/7 and sleeping in bed for 14 hours a day.

>An old dude who doesn't use a computer can't know a thing about modern world problems

Oh i completely agree with you and that's why i stopped going altogether because i just got so fed up with him.

>If you ever consider going to therapy again, try to find at least a young one

I don't think i will be going back anytime soon but if i ever do i will keep this in mind thanks anon.

>I tried other three therapists before finding this one, it's not that easy

Damn anon it's hard for me to trust other people i don't know if i could do that.

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File: 9bf93d3aec95f01⋯.png (146.35 KB,396x385,36:35,1469484752074.png)

da6019 No.1484 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

Hey /hikki/, I thought since fall is here and winter is right around the corner, we could talk about things that we like and dislike about this time of year.

I love fall and winter, it's my favorite time of year. Here are some of my favorite things about it:

>bundling up in blankets

>sipping hot tea/coco/coffee

>gettin' comfy

>less guilt about not going outside, since most people don't go out in cold weather

>watching the leaves/snow fall outside your window

>less noise from outside because everyone is indoors

What are your favorite things about fall and winter, /hikki/?

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399ef5 No.6100

I live in an area (no worries, no dox) where its pretty warm for 8+ months every year, but it gets nice and cold during the winter. My anxiety is still pretty bad, and after a few incidents when i was in my teens, I alway carry weapons and a first aid kit, plus some other supplies like a blindingly bright flashlight, firestarting kit, electric handwarmers, swiss army knife, Cell Phone car and wall charger, battery bank on me.

I can only conceal all the stuff it takes to feel comfortable enough to go out under winter clothing. BUT theres this cozy diner that doesnt have a lot of space, and is open 24/7 even in the winter. Its a family business and they know my family and Im relatively comfy towards them so they, understanding, leave me be in the coziest corner of the diner. I bring a tablet or laptop after its properly dark, they fill up my thermoses with cold water, i make flavoraid, and I browse the internet and play games all night.

Last year I played a lot of hotline miami 1&2, some of the oldest 3d Dungeons and dragons games, Zork series, Anchorhead (and IF game like zork), and a bunch of emulated games, including 2d zelda and pokemon. I'd sometimes call ahead with an order, but usually I'd bring a sandwhich and chips. I can't wait for winter, so I can get out of this freaking room

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399ef5 No.6101

>>6100

and I should add that almost nobody goes to that diner during the winter, so they dont leave the grill on. Anyone who does come in can get cold sandwiches or microwaved food, and hot drinks. and the waitress seats the at the other side of the restaurant where they cant see me.

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8e641b No.6130

>>6101

>>6100

That sounds really comfy anon. The owners seem really nice too. What kind of games are you planning on playing this time?

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a93f8e No.6146

>>6130

Interactive fiction. Anchorhead is really cozy with a track of rain sounds in the background.

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56c91c No.6152

>>6146

Those games where you play by typing words in and the game tells responds with part of a story are awesome if you like that kind of thing. dound super comfy tbh. I wish I had a situation like yours.

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File: 0a2b8e7e396604f⋯.jpg (200.94 KB,1600x1200,4:3,0a2b8e7e396604f991bedccf7d….jpg)

8c8e95 No.5155 [Open thread]

When and where do you think you're going to die anon? What are your last emotions going to be? What will be your final thought? Will you be happy with what you've done in life? I've been thinking about this a lot I feel like my time is coming soon.

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c1aaf2 No.5509

>>5501

>mountains

I also always wanted to die somewhere where you have a good view

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aa6232 No.5511

>>5484

Did the game cause it? Story time?

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b7b137 No.5950

>>5511

Sorry for the super late reply.

No, but you realize what the hell you're doing with your life and you fall into deep depression.

Trying to make a videogame is depressing enough if you're a NEET with no social life, but making a porn game is ten times worse.

These kind of things can only be done by men who actually have a life, otherwise when you look at yourself you see an embarrassing looser who's trying to make a porn game to cope with his virginity.

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653ddc No.5953

File: e22a677f18579f7⋯.jpg (86.42 KB,767x1200,767:1200,176.jpg)

>>5155

>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?

Probably my room. Everything else is unpredictable since I have no intention of killing myself at this point, and I'm against that in general, unless you are going to be physically crippled, because life is actually not that difficult to enjoy and you don't concretely need anything in order to enjoy it, since all the requirements in your head can easily be changed and are just a product of the world that you're currently in, and your own mindset. At worst, you will be Diogenes, and even Alexander the Great wanted to be Diogenes. Once you have failed enough, you can deal with most things in life, even if you have to do it through complete apathy. The secret of invulnerability is failure. An invincible man is a man that has been defeated in every possible and conceivable way so many times that he has become immune to failure and can't even feel pain anymore.

I like living like this for the most part, so that's what I want to keep doing, if possible. By society's standards, I am a complete loser, but I know what I am, and I know what society is, and I know I dislike it, so I don't care. That kind of failure is more of a trophy, in my mind. Wouldn't be too bad to die right now, but I do want to do more things, as many as possible, as close to experiencing everything as I can. I'm going to die eventually, so I can just wait for that. It's not as much of a big deal to me, because death isn't too much of a mystery, since I believe I actually have a decent understanding of it, and it's practically meaningless to me, because I understand that I am immortal and will live on regardless, in a weird way, even if this physical vessel can't truly perceive the full extent of that. Technical immortality is the best kind of immortality, since I don't have to be aware of all the horrors that exist out there. There are parts of me inside of you right now, so don't kill yourself. We are connected, so if you hurt yourself, you hurt me, to some extent. And it's kind of a waste.

Overall, I would rather not see my own death coming unless I have to sacrifice myself for something, or get my hands on the nuclear button, becausPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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ca68fa No.5954

>>5155

>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?

I'm constantly teetering on the edge between getting my life together and killing myself. If I do kill myself, it'll be either jumping off a bridge with the clothes on my back, or jumping off a cliff on a famous mountain somewhere if I can bring myself to travel for it.

I figure if I'm going to commit suicide, I may as well do it somewhere spectacular wearing a 3 piece suit, but I feel exhausted just thinking about it. But on the other hand I don't really want to kill myself just in any old way, it feels wrong somehow, like I'm infringing on something.

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File: 70acbf7eb7c408a⋯.jpg (100.8 KB,1440x1080,4:3,sad-08.jpg)

6a5ec0 No.270 [Open thread]

This might be a little bit long to read for anyone and I might contradict into saying stuff but I don't really have anywhere else to talk about this, so whatever.

I've tried many times. I'm done. I can't stand people most of the time anyways. This one person is right. I push people away. People don't know why I get upset and when I do convey my angry feelings, there are no more further responses. I mean, why bother? We really don't give a shit about each other and if we do, we're only pretending to be nice. When we're pretending to be nice, we're only fooling ourselves time after time. Doing something like that is doing it out of charity and it sucks ass. I can't help to think that there are people out there who either look for reassurances or become condescending towards others. Maybe even both. It's tiresome and it's annoying. It may not supposed to be a problem for me in the first place and I shouldn't care otherwise but I linger to the fact that this is the world I'm living in and I have to deal with it one way or the other.

People. I tried my best to try to be friendly but it never works out in the end. I try to message other people but nothing. I don't know if it's because I have a boring ass personality or that I've said something weird or wrong or something. I lived a long life as a hikikomori and let me tell you that people are the problem. It's not because you don't have friends. It's not because your family shuns you. It's not because you can't have a relationship with someone who can put up with your shit. It's not because you couldn't fathom that one part because you couldn't understand it too well. It's people. It's you, it's me, it's all of us. It's an inevitable problem to no solution and we're stuck with it until we die.

I don't know whether I should give up again or try harder to make friends or even bother to get my shit together. Every time I try to think about them, I fall back and thought: Fuck that shit. We're shut-ins because have problems that "normal" people can't and won't understand our situation. They say stupid shit but it's easier said than done. They mock the real hikis because they're think they're so better than them. They think they're at that point in their lives where they're content enough about their day-to-day lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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50148f No.2026

File: abdb67d39031ea7⋯.jpg (50 KB,492x633,164:211,satou smoking.jpg)

>>2018

>I think I want to cling onto hope. Even though there actually isn't for any of us. I still want to think that there is somehow to turn this around for the better. Some are happy with the shut-in lifestyle but like I said before, I really think there's more to it in life. Kinda difficult to explain in my own words about how I see things and all but I want to improve somehow. I know this may sound like I'm just talking it out my ass for this but I at least talking about it might make something out of it for myself.

>I thought about trying out college. Maybe next year in Spring or Summer. I know, next year but I really have to do something for myself. I can't stand another year of this.

Good luck anon my suggestion is to try and keep pushing yourself so you don't drop out and end up back in the hikki lifestyle but i guess only time will tell.

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17aec2 No.2046

>>2018

Just make sure to actually check all the classes you need for the major you want for attendance requirements.

I'm currently stuck 3/4ths through university because only the classes with attendance requirements are left and I have a really hard time of going there. Don't be me.

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4366e1 No.5919

Still a fucking hikikomori and we're down to half a year already. Trying to get a job at 30 and it just ultimately gets difficult by the day. Sorry for my blogpost but I got no where to post this and I'm kinda hoping that at least someone read this anyways. I'm dreading to becoming 31 at the end of the year. I told myself before that I was going to really recover from this shit lifestyle but I've always withdrawn back to my man cave and keep on gaming. Had another fight, this time with my cousin. Was ready to take this guy out because of all the anger I've built up over the years. Was really sick and tired of his shit. Especially with his big mouth. I don't understand kids like him and always seem to look like they know everything.

All I've been doing is more gaming. I know I've said so many times that I despised discord so much but I keep coming back to it. Maybe I'm still looking for people to chat with. Just to simply chat with. It doesn't even have to be something I can relate to but to just try to understand each other for the better and learn anything new along the way. I realized too late that the memespeak is very heavy with the younger people. Sometimes I can't tell if they're being genuine or not. Maybe it's to hide their seriousness or maybe they don't want to be serious? Just be playful most of the time? Idk, seems childish to me but whatever floats their boat. Was hating on that for awhile but too tired to do so anymore. Another thing to let it be and move on. I really wish there is someone I can just chat online with every other day. I've got a buddy irl but I kinda want a couple more at least to go by.

When you realized that getting online friends is as difficult as getting friends irl as well. There is this guy that joined a hiki discord server. Some fallout happened and voila, another fucking hiki server was born. So I go there, thinking this might be alright but it's another shitshow. Every single fucking time a hiki/neet server is created, it's just another safe space. A hug box or whatever you call it. It may be the case nowadays but all I'm really after is just a nice friendly chat and feel good at the end of the day. Just want that kind of positive feeling. I don't want to got to that route where people create false positive energy and spread it around like we're jocks and cheerleaders forPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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2ed159 No.5920

File: 707fa800813dd44⋯.jpg (27.39 KB,640x360,16:9,1399865177483.jpg)

>>5919

>The lack of consideration is what I hate in a lot of people

Fucking this. My entire life have I always tried my best to be considerate of others, yet I can count on one hand the times that same consideration has been returned.

Don't give up just yet, perhaps going straight for a job is a bad idea. Taking baby steps like going out into public areas and gradually re-learn to socialize with people, even strangers, may be a better course of action before you go apply for whatever job you can get, hating it, and relapsing. Taking it one step at a time seems to me like it'd be better suited for long term success in getting out of this life style. I haven't tried this myself, but I am a bit of a hypocrite and lost hope of getting out of my room a while ago.

>I'm dreading to becoming 31 at the end of the year.

I'm a few years younger than you, but my birthday is coming up in a week and I know what you mean. It's a shitty feeling.

Anyways I wish you the best of luck, anon, and as cheesy as it sounds I have faith in every hikki here that they can break free of this lifestyle as long as they really want it to happen and don't give up on trying different things.

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fc29dc No.5924

File: 48922e37690a529⋯.png (97.35 KB,1184x389,1184:389,Ted Kaczynski - The Power ….png)

The world was once a place of small, self-sufficient communities of like-minded people. Everyone in the communities knew each other, trusted each other, could rely on each other. Doors didn't need locks.

But the capability of the world to foster an environment that supports its inhabitants has been systematically dismantled. Like-minded individuals are scattered to the wind. People live in cities of thousands or tens of thousands. The mutual trust everyone needs to function no longer exists. Food, water, and shelter (or the money to obtain them) are obtained solely at the whim of massive, uncaring international organizations (whether corporate or political, there's not much difference).

To put it simply: you are not broken, the world is broken.

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File: 6ddfd18d3a74cae⋯.jpg (85.29 KB,736x1013,736:1013,nhk art pic.jpg)

64d097 No.97 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

What were the reasons that made you become a hikikomori? for me its the following.

>Be bullied throughout both middle school and high school for having autism and being myself

>Lots of drama going on inside family home (Will not go into detail)

>Socially awkward

>Hate going outside

>Do not agree with a lot of things in this society.

>Feel betrayed by own age peers because i was not socially accepted by them

>Shit parents (Still love them to an extent though)

>Closeted pedophile (Could never tell my parents i dont wanna be disowned for an attraction i did not choose)

>To red pilled about the world to live a normalfag lifestyle i guess thats what happens when you're on the internet 24/7

>Hate most people

>One part of me loves being alone, this part of me loves to get away from everything and everyone.

>Feel protected when inside my room

Those are pretty much my reasons i guess what are your reasons /hikki/??.

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cb6b5b No.5860

>>5857

Thanks anon, that actually means a lot to me.

I remember she trying to shift blame for never telling me that "no one can touch you this way! you must tell me if that ever happens!" because "kindergarden was supposed to teach me that."

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e3f17b No.5862

>>5860

Schools are the way they are in the first place because parents are useless and irresponsible. They selfishly reproduce without considering the consequences, and then send the kids to school and expect everything to be taken care of because they don't want to raise them themselves. The men are negligent idiots that don't think about anything, if they are even present, and women are a bunch of whores that are incapable of being rational to begin with, so of course they won't consider that almost all of their impulses are destructive. There aren't many good parents out there, and I'd say that it's almost impossible to be a good enough parent to justify actually having children, even more so in the present. In fact, having children in the first place is already a crime that is hard to make up for, inherently, in this world. Your mom is a real piece of shit, though. I don't think you will mind if I say that.

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1ec839 No.5867

Got fat. Childhood friends slowly went cold on me during puberty. With no friends I started playing WoW. Gained more weight, stopped caring about the real world. Highschool the depression started. Freshman year of college i started failing classes, not wanting to leave my dorm. I'm 26 now and I've been hikki for at least 3/4ths my adult life. I'd blame being fat first, and second my family history of clinical depression.

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5df02d No.5872

File: 532f09c512a4843⋯.png (3.18 MB,1920x1080,16:9,Tomoko_angry.png)

>>5854

>Get molested. Tell my parents, mom blames me and makes fun of it.

You know like i said in the original post i may be a pedo but holy shit that's just fucked up anon i'm sorry you had to go through that. I honestly hate child molesters with a passion as do most people and your mother sounds like a fucking roastie bitch.

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5df02d No.5873

File: e69105f320141ad⋯.jpg (4.31 KB,300x168,25:14,sato2.jpg)

>>5867

Just out of curiosity what is your weight currently at anon?

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File: 640f5de988243f3⋯.jpg (21.57 KB,620x320,31:16,15879-620x-szskiri.jpg)

2df4be No.644 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

I'm pretty sure the majority of us on here know about Welcome to the NHK. as it's probably the most popular hikki anime but which hikikomori anime character do you relate to the most /hikki/??.

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ad5606 No.5308

Well did you watch kaiji?

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b9003a No.5313

>>5308

>Well did you watch kaiji?

Yes i did start it 2 nights ago i am really enjoying it.

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ad5606 No.5369

>>5313

Let me know when you finish it

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b9003a No.5372

>>5369

>Let me know when you finish it

I definitely will.

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a724a1 No.5806

Hikikomori Anime List.

http://ruijianime.com/main/tag_search_easy.php?tag[]=73

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File: f296ca0d67d4fe3⋯.png (87.71 KB,500x366,250:183,Have a rare pepe _e1be8f19….png)

a442b6 No.419 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

Why are you unhappy /hikki/??.

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0ec491 No.5777

>have been a NEET for like 5 years at this point

>just got out of mental ward

>spent almost 2 weeks there after hurting myself

>don't have a job or any prospects or getting one

>"have you decided to get your drivers license yet"

are you fucking kidding me

it's like they just can't/won't grasp that i'm fucked up

it's like they just assume that i'm just a lazy lovable douche who "lol just can't get his shit together haha"

like i'm some fucking sitcom character

or on the other hand i have family who just treats me like i'm retarded after this incident

as if i'm not even a real person and am just like this thing they're obligated to interact with sometimes

i hate this shit

i hate having to live with my family and i know all too well how awful being homeless is

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afa97c No.5781

All I have in my life are games. Right now my sole purpose in life is to get decent at playing R6S. Pretty fucking sad.

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a14154 No.5795

File: c87c6ac39373cfb⋯.jpg (67.26 KB,500x484,125:121,150932345982.jpg)

>>3082

I know that feels…

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d0f049 No.5801

life is just hell I dunno how else to put it

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1cbda5 No.5802

>>5801

>life is just hell I dunno how else to put it

Very true.

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File: 5430644f2d5c192⋯.jpg (23.2 KB,600x315,40:21,e444e8e0cce406761ba1960708….jpg)

b1e86d No.1414 [Open thread]

Do you do it?

I started as a child and I can't stop. It makes any kind of goal-directed activity hard because I keep daydreaming in the middle of it and lose track of what I'm doing.

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cf0fb6 No.5747

File: 13f13476a831951⋯.jpg (170.25 KB,552x800,69:100,b611825b6905c59450fa41d791….jpg)

All the time. I started off fantasizing when I was in bed before I would fall asleep and it eventually turned into something I would do at any time of day or night. I've made up a whole world with rules and even different characters, I imagine myself as a pretty girl with a feminine version of my name. It might not be much but I do enjoy it and I think it might actually help me in some way to continue living. I'm unhappy in the real world but I always have that escape. This has helped make my imagination somewhat strong.

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c4bd39 No.5751

I did it a lot more when I was younger and didn't have an unlimited supply of anime, video games, books and software and hardware to mess around with. Now I mostly do it when I'm not doing anything else, or while I do some mindless daily activity, or when I feel like talking to someone else. If it's a specific real person, I just make them in my own head and simulate an interaction. I use my imagination experimentally a lot. It's strongly connected to my thoughts in general, so it's always pretty active. Pretty useful, kinda like a VM that can emulate things in reality, but I can't really turn it off, and maybe it would be better if I could. Still, I am too realistic to let it get out of control. Reality gives me more material to work with in my imagination in the first place, so I would rather not spend all of my time doing that like back then. Still happens a lot.

>>5747

Careful there. You are apparently under the influence of the modern gynocentric culture. Become what you want to be as a male, which is what you are, but don't try to be a woman and don't self-mutilate, that won't actually fulfill anything, it will just destroy you entirely. The idea that beauty belongs to women is a very old lie, buried under a giant mountain of propaganda, make-up and fancy clothes that you're supposedly not allowed to make use of yourself. Honestly, I look better than them and I wouldn't even know how to use make-up, though it could be useful at some point. If you don't reject the lie, that can lead to self-loathing and you may end up hurting yourself. 3DPD women are actually shitty and boring, and most of them actually look like old hags even in their 20's but just hide it behind the make-up. Don't glorify them when you have a better brain, a better body that isn't limited by reproductive tools, better genitals and a more interesting existence. Only real women can actually enjoy being real women. I hope this guarantees your safety somehow.

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cf0fb6 No.5752

File: 0e65dd1e75249cc⋯.jpg (248.12 KB,882x1000,441:500,a4d8b26fe9ba933087afa54bf6….jpg)

>>1699

I've done that too. I like to think of her as her own person with her own dreams, schedule, interests, voice, all of that. Somebody might tell me that's unhealthy but I would probably be much different and maybe not even be alive today if it weren't for her. She feels very healthy and her presence makes life much more bearable, she treats me better than almost anybody ever has and I appreciate her every day. I try not to think about the details and the "reality" of her though, it might make things problematic later.

>>5751

I'm unhappy for many reasons in the real world and not being a woman doesn't have that much to do with them. I appreciate your concern but I'm not that far gone. I also never said I imagine myself as a 3d but instead a 2d (they look infinitely better than 3d honestly). I do this because I never liked being me, what I do now is helpful for me, it gives me peace and an escape. I don't know what you think I fantasize about but it's not a very realistic world in my head, no way I would keep myself stuck in something so boring.

I know 3d women are shitty, no doubt about it. But I'm very sure they have life so much easier than guys do except maybe for periods but that's a minor sacrifice for the many other things they have handed to them.

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c4bd39 No.5755

File: 9caae2b0b36c9cc⋯.png (Spoiler Image,634.12 KB,766x1080,383:540,8628.png)

>>5752

Just making sure that you're fine, since a lot of people seem to have issues with being male, in general, and that's a terrible symptom of living in the current world, that basically worships women. Still, there are definitely ways of being more satisfied with who you are. You can add more realistically accessible aesthetic archetypes to your own preferences, for instance. My sense of male beauty actually only awakened when I was already 18, and it increased as I developed and understood more things, and my increasing disdain for women pushed it even further. I think a lot of people would hate me for saying that, but it's still worth saying. You can actually even gradually change the things that you like to some extent. You can also like something without feeling the need to become it. The body can always be improved using its own natural mechanics as well, having realistic goals.

Being able to appreciate yourself physically would probably be good for you. Youth doesn't last forever, unfortunately (except for me, possibly, since I haven't aged in 7 years, and actually seem to have aged backwards a little bit), but physically manifesting higher values and ideals can still be a good thing for your appreciation of yourself. Physical things are inherently shitty, since they aren't eternal, and frequently don't last very long, but it's still nice when the body reflects your mind and spirit for a little while, forming a more coherent whole. And it's generally pleasant to be in good shape and have more control of yourself. It goes beyond aesthetics.

I like enjoying being who I am a lot more than not enjoying it, like in the past, so maybe this is a valid suggestion. Even though I'm still a loser that can't function in society (but society is demonstrably broken in every way, so that doesn't alter my evaluation of myself at all). I guess the short version is that you should try to achieve some state that will allow you to appreciate yourself, whatever it may be, within the limitations that were given to you by reality, since going against that is self-destructive.

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c89809 No.5756

>>5747

> I imagine myself as a pretty girl with a feminine version of my name.

I do that too sometimes. It seems like a really common fantasy among hikkis.

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File: a7410fba24ebef6⋯.png (394.31 KB,708x576,59:48,a7410fba24ebef6b1d11291df2….png)

e2387b No.5698 [Open thread]

>got kicked out

>knew it was coming for months but didn't do anything except put in a few online job applications that never amounted to anything

>thought they were bluffing, tbh

>didn't make a fuss about it because I'm too jaded and prideful, I guess

>tried to reapply for NEETbux but they refused to lift my suspension

>packed some basic provisions like clothes, this laptop etc.

>dad drove me into the city, dropped me off at a shelter, slapped $1k in my hand and basically told me to fuck off and never come back

>signed into the shelter but didn't stay long, went for a walkabout

>wasn't going anywhere, just feeling kinda shitty and wat to get away from people

>never went back, that place looked toxic

>spent the night in a small cropping of trees behind a retirement home but didn't sleep

>getting hungry now, the gravity of my situation finally began to sink in and panic along with it

>realize I have absolutely nowhere to go, so where else but back

>manage to get a taxi and convinced him to take me back to my old town, which was pretty far out

>heading to my sister's place. She fucking hates me, but I'm pretty desperate

>she's also the one who was always trying to get my parents to boot my ass out for years

>don't know the exact directions, so I just wander around town for like three hours until I find her street

>ring her bell, she isn't home

>wait for her on a park bench for another four hours

>when she finally does get back, I wait another hour just to make it seem like I wasn't waiting

>before I even have a chance to say anything, she immediately starts screaming in my face and tells me to leave

>basically going off on me about how I'm such a parasitic piece oPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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310e33 No.5731

>>5729

>and I'm willing to look like a complete fool, to invalidate everything that I ever say from that point onward by ruining my credibility entirely, and to be hanged for being a drooling retard…

You sure do like to exaggerate. You're fine anon, and I doubt the anon that replied to you had any ill intention. especially if it is who I think it is

>I tend to have very vivid visions

Perhaps this is why I think you are exaggerating.

Do you have autism?

>If you create life and it can't take care of itself, then you have to do it yourself.

Realistically though most of us are adults in their 20s and should be able to take care of themselves at this point. Parents shouldn't be expected to look after their kids forever, that's unreasonable and part of the reason why I believe they have the right to kick their kids out if necessary.

>It can be fixed, but not without some work, and parents tend to not do anything at all.

This is where I think the issue lies. It's a dick move to kick someone out without even having attempted to help and instead just threaten and/or ridicule their shut in kid.

>It's not malicious

Maybe not in intent, but it is in practice (to varying degrees obviously).

Everything else you said I more or less agree with.

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043c91 No.5735

>>5731

>Do you have autism?

Yes. It's not exactly a secret, but I assume it's pretty obvious. My seemingly exaggerated statements are a consequence of that, the way that I developed my own mind, being a freak in general, and of my decision that I should express myself honestly. Overall, my mind is so far from the normal people that this society was made for that it's almost the only reason why I ended up in this position. There's more, but this is the most major cause.

>Maybe not in intent, but it is in practice

Malice requires intent to harm, by definition. And being a hikikomori is easily more harmful to the self than to anyone else, unless the person is actually bad and behaves in a way that would otherwise be self-harm, but because of their condition, the consequences only affect the parents for now. But that situation is just a result of being a bad person, and maybe also the parents' punishment for allowing a bad person to be created (in a world that's already bad to begin with, and that they will inevitably make worse) in the first place. If you don't deserve to have the kids that you have, then why do you have them and why should you be exempt from the consequences?

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310e33 No.5736

>>5735

>Malice requires intent to harm, by definition

English is not my first language and I can't even express my thoughts well enough in my mother tongue You're right, I should have worded that better. What I meant was that our condition causes harm to those around us whether it's malicious or not. Stress, financially and/or otherwise. So it's kind of a moot point because harm is done either way.

>If you don't deserve to have the kids that you have, then why do you have them and why should you be exempt from the consequences?

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'deserve', but you can't blame parents entirely. There are hikkis here that have good relationships with their parents but shut themselves in because of outside influences. Other times parents don't know how to help even though they tried. Most of the time they don't do enough though. To get back on topic, what I mean is that it's not always the fault of the parent. Since most of the "real" parenting is done between the ages of 0-4, even if done right and successfully their kids can end up shutting themselves in. It's not right to expect parents to take care of their 25-30 year old hikki kid. If a hikki hasn't learned to take care of himself well into adult hood he is also to blame (with exceptions). So if they gave an honest attempt at help and it didn't work out, they have the right to kick them out of their house.

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f7bbba No.5748

Being homeless sucks. Had to do it a few times, but it didn't bother me much since I was homeless a lot as a kid. It's not much different from being a NEET tbh, only that you constantly have to keep moving.

That and inconsistent internet.

Food isn't hard to secure if you know where to look or you can donate plasma to get quick cash. Sleeping outside is scary, but just keep a small blade on you , just in case, you know? That always helped me sleep.

I hope your life gets better, OP, so you don't have to learn these things first hand. It really messes with your head, being homeless.

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03c117 No.7678

>>5698

How are you doing, OP? Are you still around? Polite sage.

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File: bea715ac103c9d1⋯.png (791.22 KB,1365x566,1365:566,br2049.png)

0b8ec7 No.5512 [Open thread]

Has anyone here ever had their hikki lifestyle come into jeopardy, be that from threats in their family to kick you out, etc? How were you able to deal with it or change their mind?

t. anon who is facing threats of being kicked out.

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0b3cc5 No.5595

>>5593

I'd love to make money at home but I can't think of anything I could actually do since I never went to college

I've always wanted to do translations but I can never find the motivation to learn Japanese and I don't think I could learn it in 3 or 4 months before they kick me out

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f5fe7e No.5596

>>5595

>I'd love to make money at home but I can't think of anything I could actually do since I never went to college

Try to build up your skills.

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530b9a No.5683

>>5512

As I wrote here: >>5681

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4cf4bd No.5684

>>5593

I've seen these questions quiet a few times and I feel like answering it now.

I have knowledge on basic electronics, I have the materials and the ability to make basic circuits, and with the help of the internet I could manage to make something complex (probably).

Do you think I can somehow make some buxes with that?

If you're wondering how I have these materials and knowledge, I'm a college drop out, I got to the third year of electric engineering, dropped out and locked myself in my house ever since.

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1873f2 No.5689

>>5684

Well, there's plenty indie electronics stuff going on. Look at Crowdsupply for examples.

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File: f0961204fad682b⋯.jpg (58.73 KB,580x345,116:69,f0961204fad682b8ed6eb3a0cf….jpg)

3848c4 No.4212 [Open thread][Last50 Posts]

Does it ever bother you that you don't bring anyone in your life any sort of happiness because of your hikki lifestyle? I have people in my life who loved me when I was a kid because I gave them so much joy and attention. Now that I never leave my room, resentment has built up towards me from the ones who remember what I used to be like- a talkative, funny and happy kid. My step father told me I ruined his life after beating the shit out of me for not putting any effort into anything in life. Now I live with my biological father and I can feel his disappointment towards me for being a weirdo who never leaves the house. My sister brings him so much happiness and can talk to him for hours making him laugh and smile. Now that she's moved out, he's stuck with me, and I can tell he's getting sadder by the day even though he's trying to hide it. It makes me want to go out and get a job just so I can show him that I care about him, but I know I wont do that anytime soon, which makes me feel extremely guilty about this lifestyle. I hate being lazy and introverted, not because I want to do more with my life, because I DON'T. I hate being these things because I know it causes sorrow for the people around me. However, I'd rather just deal with it than do anything with my life. I'm such a selfish asshole. Anyone else feel this way?

First post on this board btw. I'm surprised it took my this long to find it. Was a hikki for over three years. Now I leave the house on occasion to attend family gatherings in which family members bring up fond memories they have of me as a child. It gets annoying…

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55c3e1 No.4505

File: 033e5f7ed7a545b⋯.png (195.05 KB,316x313,316:313,1457962428310.png)

>>4490

>My first post here as well.

Welcome to the board new friend.

>I feel tremendous guilt at the amount of pain my existence has caused my family members

Same here i honestly feel deep down they are disappointed in me they just don't show it and continue to enable my lifestyle without even realizing it.

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a870f1 No.5148

>>4505

I don't think I can handle another thanksgiving or christmas like this. If I didn"t take the multiple mg of Xanax or klonopins like the last few family holidays I probably would've went missing or finally visited my hospitals psychward.

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ab4cf2 No.5152

>>4229

That's sad to hear Anon. I wish you the best of luck in the world, your parents might be gone but you'll always have us if you need someone who cares to talk with.

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9b2435 No.5555

>>4247

I was a regular there and visited the site a day before it got shut down. The site owner stated that he was shutting it down because of low traffic. He also said some other stuff but I can't remember those bits. I do miss it a bit but I'm happy that I don't have to deal with CP and normies anymore.

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484cc6 No.5558

File: ac316ed028c2c06⋯.png (167.39 KB,400x480,5:6,tomoko.png)

>>5555

>I was a regular there and visited the site a day before it got shut down.

Looks like we did the same thing LOL.

>The site owner stated that he was shutting it down because of low traffic.

Yeah i saw the blank page with the Misaki picture where he was crying about low traffic and i was like dude it's a hikikomori board of course the traffic isn't gonna be big because most imageboards or boards in general that cater to certain type of people especially social outcast are often times slow or dead like /v9k/ /jp/ Wizardchan Tohno-chan and so on.

>He also said some other stuff but I can't remember those bits. I do miss it a bit but I'm happy that I don't have to deal with CP and normies anymore.

I kinda feel like this as well i do miss but at the same time i'm actually glad that shit site is gone rest in piss tbh.

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