When and where? 引きこもり 04/07/18 (Sat) 08:58:29 8c8e95 No. 5155
When and where do you think you're going to die anon? What are your last emotions going to be? What will be your final thought? Will you be happy with what you've done in life? I've been thinking about this a lot I feel like my time is coming soon.
____________________________
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/07/18 (Sat) 09:07:28 a5014e No. 5156
I assume that I will die here in my room where I've been living for almost 4 years straight now
I don't have any desire to join society again and I run out of hobbies so fast lately so I think If I kept living like this I will commit suicide before I hit 30's or more likely after my parents die because on the one hand I don't want to kill myself now because I'm too much of a coward and on the other hand that will hurt my family and tear them apart especially my mom so I'm forced until they die and then I will off myself
>What are your last emotions going to be
Nothing but disgusting feelings towards this world and humanity
>What will be your final thought
Maybe I will be happy that I finally come to the conclusion of finally leaving this world
>Will you be happy with what you've done in life
Hell yeah man I never desired to be a part of this world so I will be happy to leave it
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/07/18 (Sat) 12:26:16 212b57 No. 5157
>>5155
>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?
Where?? probably in my room when?? i honestly don't know but hopefully sometime in the next few years. Year after year i always tell myself that i'm gonna kill myself but instead i never end up doing it because every year a new piece of media like a new video game movie or anime comes out that i get interested in and i don't wanna missed out on that new piece of media also running this board has given me a purpose to help others like me and it makes me feel somewhat happy even though i live pretty much the same day everyday.
>What are your last emotions going to be.
Same as what >>5156 said nothing i would feel nothing but disgusted at the world and humanity.
>What will be your final thought
I would be happy that it's all over.
>Will you be happy with what you've done in life
I've never desired to be apart of society because people like us are just not compatible with society even though the feeling of loneliness does creep up on me sometimes so to answer your question yes i would in fact i've contributed so much to the internet over the years and this board is proof that i'm not a complete failure and that if i died i honestly would feel happy with what i've done in life.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
Post last edited at 04/07/18 (Sat) 12:29:46
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 05:36:22 4f4f4f No. 5165
I think I'll drown as it's almost happened to me 3 times now and I don't think next time there will be anyone to help
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 06:30:26 212b57 No. 5167
>>5165
> it's almost happened to me 3 times now
How did you almost drown 3 times?.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 11:18:05 4f4f4f No. 5170
>>5167
1. Pond in backyard
2. Swimming pool
3. Fell off bridge into river
This was all before I became like this ofcourse
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 11:37:48 cb2087 No. 5171
>>5155
>When
Considering the state my body is in and my current age, I'd expect it to happen in about 15-25 years.
>Where
Most likely right where I am now, in front of my computer since that's where I spend 14 hours a day.
If it's not that, it's going to be in my bedroom. Or possibly the bath since I like really hot long baths and those aren't good for your heart, though I don't spend so much time in there.
>Last emotions
I was pretty sure I was having a heart attack before, and was surprised that my thoughts weren't relief that it's going to finally end.
I blame my body's survival instincts, but I really didn't wanna die. I wouldn't expect it to be as peaceful as you're hoping for.
>What will be your final thought?
Back then, I thought of a videogame that I really wanted to play that'd come out in a few months.
That was really my only regret, otherwise I was thinking about how no more pain sounds pretty good.
>Will you be happy with what you've done in life?
Unlikely, considering I did not do anything, for which I blame modern society that is nearly as fucked up as it could possibly get.
If I'd lived a few centuries ago, I could've had a pretty fulfilling life with meaning. Now, I can just sedate myself with media so I'm not confronted with the fact that I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 11:41:16 212b57 No. 5172
>>5170
>1. Pond in backyard
>2.. Swimming pool
When i was a little kid my dad had a pool in his backyard and he would always throw me in the pool and i almost did drown when i was many times because of that.
>3. Fell off bridge into river.
How did you survive??.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 11:51:41 212b57 No. 5173
>>5171
>If I'd lived a few centuries ago, I could've had a pretty fulfilling life with meaning.
I know how you feel man i've always wanted to travel back in time and visit the old days some things in this modern world have changed for the better like our technology for example but for the most part those were simpler times if i had lived in the 1800s or sometime during the 1920s and 30s i probably wouldn't have been a hikikomori.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/08/18 (Sun) 18:31:38 4f4aea No. 5177
>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?
In a forest most likely
>What are your last emotions going to be?
don't know, maybe feeling good that it finally comes to an end and I can relax
>What will be your final thought?
see above
>Will you be happy with what you've done in life?
well, I had some pretty good times so it was not all in vain
>I've been thinking about this a lot I feel like my time is coming soon.
I have too, for a year already. This is one characteristic that unites us. We all understand that we are damaged in some way and that there is no happy end for our stories.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/09/18 (Mon) 00:17:23 212b57 No. 5181
>>5177
>well, I had some pretty good times so it was not all in vain
Same here.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/09/18 (Mon) 13:44:32 4f4f4f No. 5187
>>5172
It was a smallish bridge over a river (pic related) although much longer than that one, I survived because my brother jumped in to get me as I cant swim.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/10/18 (Tue) 02:19:31 212b57 No. 5199
>>5187
>It was a smallish bridge over a river (pic related) although much longer than that one, I survived because my brother jumped in to get me as I cant swim.
Oh i see.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/27/18 (Fri) 22:43:26 8675cb No. 5403
>When
Considering the state my body is in and my current age, I'd expect it to happen in about 10-12 years.
>Where
if had car and gun, in the back of my fav school in the field next to the playground.
if no car and have gun, in my room on me bed with the curtains/window open with the pastebin of my life/lucid dream/beliefs open on my comp with some pictures
>What will be your final thought?
i can go back to where i belong.
>Will you be happy with what you've done in life?
yes
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/28/18 (Sat) 06:25:03 212b57 No. 5406
>>5403
>Considering the state my body is in and my current age, I'd expect it to happen in about 10-12 years.
Same here or probably before than.
>If no car and have gun, in my room on me bed with the curtains/window open with the pastebin of my life/lucid dream/beliefs open on my comp with some pictures
I would probably do this as well.
>I can go back to where i belong.
I know that feel bro people like us were never truly meant for this world.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/28/18 (Sat) 09:15:55 982124 No. 5407
I got some really bad news and the thoughts of suicide came back again, but this time the usual alibi of 'my family will be hurt' did not bother me as much. That has always been what has stopped me before, but I find as I get older I care less and less about it. When your everyday life is so grinding and miserable I think it eventually destroys your ability to make decisions based on how other people might feel about them. I think maybe in another one or two years I will hit a point where I don't care about my suicide's impact on other people at all. The thought of suicide as an absolution or atonement for all the time I've wasted in my life, that is a beautiful thought to me. At this point too much damage has been done, there is no other way for me to make up for all of it except through suicide. The only other way is to put in the effort and try to live a great life, but I have failed at that as well. I am not sure what to do. I think maybe I can last another couple of years unless more bad news comes.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 04/28/18 (Sat) 10:43:46 27aa07 No. 5408
>>5407
>I think maybe I can last another couple of years unless more bad news comes.
That's exactly how I feel inside man
Although, I don't have any family members left after my mom died and no one will give a shit whether I'm still alive or not I'm still holding on to all this pain
Of course I will not be able to figure a way out of it,however, I will choose to stay at least out of curiosity to see what will occur in the future and will happen to me, death is like my final decision after I will run out of options
I just want to stay even if that means that I will have to go through pain and suffering I will choose to go through them because at the end if I died it doesn't matter because basically that was my first decision
So my words to you man is don't give up without a fight hope things will work will for you
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 01:53:31 d10ff0 No. 5443
Still have to watch so many animes
Now i'm 19. Probably this will be soon
I don't think that something will change
I would like to live more but everyone around me will hate me more in the future and i'm going to do nothing to change my situation
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 01:56:52 d10ff0 No. 5444
>>5443
If i get a job i hope my family won't hate me so much so i think i'm going to stay in this world for at least until 40 years old
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 11:19:34 809003 No. 5452
>>5443
son, watching anime is like chasing the dragon
the more you do it, the more tolerance you build and the less high you will get. Eventually you will just watch it to not vomit and feel like complete shit the entire day but with no highs. Eventually they lose all their effect and then you are left with nothing that brings you joy anymore.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 13:39:03 b7b137 No. 5455
>>5452
I was gonna post something similar, but if we are failures what else could we ever do?
He's young but if he ended up here, he's already doomed.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 15:53:34 aca533 No. 5458
I can't stay tuned and content with my life anymore it's getting serious everyday
What else is there to do when you've run out of hobbies and basically got bored of doing the same things over and over everyday
I'm sick of mindlessly consuming media everyday for nothing but wasting my time
I used to have alot of online friends but they vanished over the years and now I'm totally alone I don't do anything but staring at the wall everyday
Keep joining discord groups to tell the people on there stories that never happened to me and practically all of these stories were created by my own mind things that would've made me better if it happened to me rather than being that filthy pathetic of a being I am
I got bored of doing that lately though and now I'm left with nothing but this board and wizchan to the most part
I Hope I won't go into a load of personality-disorders again tomorrow and start telling people online that I'm a different person etc
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 21:22:26 ad9c6b No. 5462
>>5458
If you haven't tried programming yet, do. It's pretty much the perfect hikki hobby: You create, getting rid of the feeling of uselessness (just don't get frustrated if you feel retarded at the start, that's normal), it's so deep and wide that one lifetime isn't enough to master all of it, and the best thing is that you can do it all alone and from the comforts of your bedroom.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/01/18 (Tue) 23:51:19 bafb6b No. 5463
>>5458
it is ok anon and any anons that are feeling alone. i can and will /always/ be your friend - even if you think you are boring/have no interest/shy/ - ANYTHING! i WILL always take whatever time out of whatever i am doing [besides sleeping] to take to you! yes!, YOU! you are very unique and special to me and i /do/ wanna get to know everything and anything you wanna tell me about yourself because I CARE ABOUT YOU! you can even add me [discord; flint#8647] and we can just be on each other's list but if you ever need to cry or vent or /anything/, come talk to me - does not matter if am offline - send me a message and i will read it.
get those bad thoughts that doubt who you are and what you be do/be! yes you can. YES. YOU. CAN! I BELIEVE IN YOU! you are stronger than you think.
even…even if you wanna or have thoughts about releasing yourself, i can guide you on calming your mind and helping you be at ease.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/02/18 (Wed) 01:29:16 8dda14 No. 5464
>>5462
>If you haven't tried programming yet, do. It's pretty much the perfect hikki hobby:
Do you do programming and make money from it??.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/02/18 (Wed) 05:54:42 aca533 No. 5467
>>5462
I always wanted to start learning programming languages but the fact that I'm pretty stupid and lazy doesn't allow me to be able to learn anything even a simple language like python
I've tried so many times to pick up programming as my hobby and I was never able to do so
>>5463
Thanks man that's pretty sweet of you
yeah I feel like I'm boring and no one wants to be my friend, how idiotic he must be to start a friendship with someone so broken like me
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/02/18 (Wed) 10:10:49 ad9c6b No. 5470
>>5464
I've done some in the past, but not currently. Just basic stuff for local small businesses. It's a nice way to earn some cash when you need it since you can easily deal with your customers over email.
I'm starting to build a stalking porn game with about era levels of fidelity, but more interactivity at the moment. Dunno if I'll release it.
I'll probably roll my own MUD base afterwards.
As I said, programming for programming's sake is where it's at for me. I just want to improve my skill.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/04/18 (Fri) 20:03:43 b7b137 No. 5484
>>5470
>I'm starting to build a porn game
That's when it went downhill for me and I looked for mental health help.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/09/18 (Wed) 08:06:37 5ba1dd No. 5501
On my 30th birthday i will drive into the mountains, get out, walk as far as i can
and then shoot myself in the head.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/10/18 (Thu) 22:55:16 c1aaf2 No. 5509
>>5501
>mountains
I also always wanted to die somewhere where you have a good view
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 05/11/18 (Fri) 06:52:22 aa6232 No. 5511
>>5484
Did the game cause it? Story time?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 07/11/18 (Wed) 10:08:17 b7b137 No. 5950
>>5511
Sorry for the super late reply.
No, but you realize what the hell you're doing with your life and you fall into deep depression.
Trying to make a videogame is depressing enough if you're a NEET with no social life, but making a porn game is ten times worse.
These kind of things can only be done by men who actually have a life, otherwise when you look at yourself you see an embarrassing looser who's trying to make a porn game to cope with his virginity.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 07/11/18 (Wed) 13:15:32 653ddc No. 5953
>>5155
>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?
Probably my room. Everything else is unpredictable since I have no intention of killing myself at this point, and I'm against that in general, unless you are going to be physically crippled, because life is actually not that difficult to enjoy and you don't concretely need anything in order to enjoy it, since all the requirements in your head can easily be changed and are just a product of the world that you're currently in, and your own mindset. At worst, you will be Diogenes, and even Alexander the Great wanted to be Diogenes. Once you have failed enough, you can deal with most things in life, even if you have to do it through complete apathy. The secret of invulnerability is failure. An invincible man is a man that has been defeated in every possible and conceivable way so many times that he has become immune to failure and can't even feel pain anymore.
I like living like this for the most part, so that's what I want to keep doing, if possible. By society's standards, I am a complete loser, but I know what I am, and I know what society is, and I know I dislike it, so I don't care. That kind of failure is more of a trophy, in my mind. Wouldn't be too bad to die right now, but I do want to do more things, as many as possible, as close to experiencing everything as I can. I'm going to die eventually, so I can just wait for that. It's not as much of a big deal to me, because death isn't too much of a mystery, since I believe I actually have a decent understanding of it, and it's practically meaningless to me, because I understand that I am immortal and will live on regardless, in a weird way, even if this physical vessel can't truly perceive the full extent of that. Technical immortality is the best kind of immortality, since I don't have to be aware of all the horrors that exist out there. There are parts of me inside of you right now, so don't kill yourself. We are connected, so if you hurt yourself, you hurt me, to some extent. And it's kind of a waste.
Overall, I would rather not see my own death coming unless I have to sacrifice myself for something, or get my hands on the nuclear button, because that would imply some kind of pain, and I don't like pain. I am only in favor of committing suicide as a species, though it's more like euthanasia. Maybe if I keep living, I can influence humanity slightly towards wiping itself out. Probably going to write a book for that purpose at some point, the first text of the religion of Anti-humanism, humanity's final religion, so that more people realize that life on this planet overall probably has to go, for its own good, and that the human collective consciousness, the majority of Earth's consciousness, can't be allowed to fully materialize. Basically, I might try to poison the hive mind and get more people to reject it, like a hypothetical cell spreading cancer throughout it's own host, that it knows is a destructive force. Just for the hell of it, because it will inevitably lead to collective suicide in one way or another anyway. I would just rather ease the pain and give it a more natural death. And yes, I am drunk as hell right now. Don't judge me too much for my doomsday ramblings.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
引きこもり 07/11/18 (Wed) 21:16:24 ca68fa No. 5954
>>5155
>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?
I'm constantly teetering on the edge between getting my life together and killing myself. If I do kill myself, it'll be either jumping off a bridge with the clothes on my back, or jumping off a cliff on a famous mountain somewhere if I can bring myself to travel for it.
I figure if I'm going to commit suicide, I may as well do it somewhere spectacular wearing a 3 piece suit, but I feel exhausted just thinking about it. But on the other hand I don't really want to kill myself just in any old way, it feels wrong somehow, like I'm infringing on something.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.