Depression Thread Hikki 09/29/17 (Fri) 01:46:33 a442b6 No. 419 [View All]
Why are you unhappy /hikki/??.
181 postsand57 image repliesomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 08:41:06 618f08 No. 3288
I'm a loser with no skill that can generate money. The only thing I can see myself doing to make money is some kind of remote programming but I procrastinate so much that it likely won't ever happen. And I don't really have the interest to seriously try to work myself out of my current state. Eventually I'll either get a brain-dead low wage job, or get on disability and be bound to the government. Both suck.
I'd kill myself but I'm terrified of non-existence.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 08:45:25 00cdd3 No. 3289
>>3288
>I'd kill myself but I'm terrified of non-existence.
I know how you feel especially when we have no fucking clue what comes after death.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 14:38:14 951420 No. 3309
Ive had a lot of dreams in my life but honestly I know none of them will ever happen, I knew that even before becoming hikki. Not sure I feel too bad about it I think, im kind of scared of being happy, Im so used to being depressed that Im not sure it would even be me if I were happy.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 15:47:02 8aa708 No. 3311
>>3289
Compost comes next, 'after life' is imaginary, it's death denial. Dead is dead, all there is is life and nobody owns it. Life is the gift do you understand? Humans have made it almost unbearable because of their stupid money game. But if you can see past all of the bullshit you can still have moments of inspiration and happiness.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 16:09:52 7001bb No. 3312
>>3289
Meh, death doesn't scare that much. If there is an afterlife then I'll worry about that when I'm there and if there isn't then well, I wouldn't have the capacity to care being dead and all.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 19:16:11 4dc9ba No. 3315
>>3280
Sorry if I gave the impression that there's only a binary choice between complete isolation or normalfaggotry. There is a great spectrum of possible life-styles to go by, I just found that I personally prefer to be alone. I hope you find a life that makes you happy and fulfilled, anon. One piece of advice I would like to offer, be careful who you open up to when you meet new people. Most people will cringe and recoil when faced with ideas that are not status-quo, you could quickly find yourself ostracized and back to the hikki-life if you aren't careful. Good luck, anon.
>>3288
>>3289
>>3311
Personally, I have always been more afraid of the idea that there is an afterlife, and that some deity from another realm of existance will judge us based off his own personal criteria. The thought that death is simply a passage into eternal nothingness sounds rather peaceful to me.
>>3309
>im kind of scared of being happy, Im so used to being depressed that Im not sure it would even be me if I were happy.
I know exactly how you feel. Even when I'm at my best, it's likely more appropriate to say that I am content, rather than truly happy. Also, I smile so rarely that when I do see my own smile in the mirror, it looks strange and alien to me.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 20:24:37 77e972 No. 3318
>>3289
>>3288
/the better life you imagine/ comes when you die.
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引きこもり 01/09/18 (Tue) 22:50:32 8aa708 No. 3321
>>3315
My point is that your fear of the imaginary (fairytales) is making you unhappy. Forget about all of the stories you were taught as a child most are fear based superstition. The physical sciences are helpful because you have a physical body that can be hurt. The only thing that can hurt your mind is a negative belief, any belief really, because it prevents you from a direct interface with reality.
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引きこもり 01/10/18 (Wed) 03:54:39 b8bb19 No. 3332
>>596
>little to no help for western hikkis
This really really pisses me off… nobody gives a shit about us. There's help for everyone else but we're just ignored. And we're expected to care about society? Supposed to do all the work required to become a functioning (and by that I mean a work drone that no one likes, which is most likely what a hikki that is "functioning" would be) just so we can pay back into the system that did not help us when we needed it?
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引きこもり 01/10/18 (Wed) 04:43:52 00cdd3 No. 3335
>>3332
>nobody gives a shit about us. There's help for everyone else but we're just ignored. And we're expected to care about society? Supposed to do all the work required to become a functioning (and by that I mean a work drone that no one likes, which is most likely what a hikki that is "functioning" would be) just so we can pay back into the system that did not help us when we needed it?
Exactly it really makes me sad that social withdrawal isn't understood very well in the west tbh.
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引きこもり 01/18/18 (Thu) 11:21:38 e51500 No. 3805
Isolation, loneliness, friendless
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引きこもり 01/18/18 (Thu) 11:50:16 00cdd3 No. 3806
>>3805
>Isolation, loneliness, friendless
I know that feel anon it really does start to get to you after awhile.
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引きこもり 02/04/18 (Sun) 18:18:11 30db29 No. 4095
>Why are you unhappy /hikki/??.
life is meaningless
the things I used to enjoy have lost their appeal
world is going into a direction I do not like at all
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引きこもり 02/04/18 (Sun) 22:55:48 00cdd3 No. 4102
>>4095
>life is meaningless
>the things I used to enjoy have lost their appeal
>world is going into a direction I do not like at all
I know that feel bro i pretty much have lost the motivation to do anything tbh nowadays i get tired easily and i also don't wanna get out of bed much anymore i just wanna die slowly because i've pretty much stopped caring.
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引きこもり 02/05/18 (Mon) 21:11:03 66d850 No. 4118
I've been thinking about this a lot recently, that I don't need a reason to live, what i truly want is a reason to die. Men weren't meant to live like this. We struggled and died, leaving something behind worthwhile. We had families with futures. You could die knowing your life pushed everything forward even if it was just for one person or one act selflessness. People with a legacy are not afraid of death. But you can't build anything anymore. The family is dead, a man can only have children if a female and the state allows it and they can revoke that at the drop of a hat. Even then they're just going to get corrupted. I mean what good can you do as a modern man right now? I can't think of anything other than flat out killing people in a vigilante sort of way. But even then it wouldn't matter because you can't change anything and those acts are likely to be subverted and turned into something toxic. I just don't know. It's hard to express these feelings. I feel like i'm trapped in this awful reality where the only right thing to do is nothing at all.
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引きこもり 02/05/18 (Mon) 21:51:02 590e6d No. 4119
>>4118
The modern world is fucked beyond belief, unfortunately. It shouldn't have been the way it is. In an average neighborhood, people can't trust each other anymore and invest insane amounts of money into fences and security (the increased push for diversity had certainly had an effect, as the races inherently don't trust each other).
The increased push for "equal rights" for the genders has allowed women to abuse men for their own benefit while simultaneously despising them, and men are checking out, as they are rightfully scared of getting jailed for speaking to a woman wrong. Dating was meant to be fair and fun, but now it's like a pop-quiz, and if you don't get 100%, you auto-fail.
Politics, also, were meant to merely exist in the background of the world, to where you only think about it once a week at best, once the man on the radio says "hey, the president enacted a new tax cut" or something. But now you can't go an hour in real life without being fed someone's political opinion.
So you can't get a girlfriend/wife, can't have a family, can't feel safe in your own home and can't even be left alone in your day to day. The only thing that's left is the fleeting momentary humor you get from imageboards and perhaps a hobby or two that you might have. It's miserable, I absolutely agree. And the only reason I'm alive is because I can still get lost in my hobbies (that are getting defiled by Marxist bastards on a daily basis)
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引きこもり 02/06/18 (Tue) 01:54:39 00cdd3 No. 4123
>>4118
>I don't need a reason to live, what i truly want is a reason to die.
I know this feel all too well i can't handle living anymore and i lack any real motivation to do anything anymore.
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引きこもり 02/06/18 (Tue) 11:07:56 00cdd3 No. 4128
>>4118
>>4119
> But now you can't go an hour in real life without being fed someone's political opinion.
Society overall is just getting worse and worse and worse tbh and exactly families are even divided now because of all this political bullshit.
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引きこもり 02/06/18 (Tue) 22:39:24 629458 No. 4134
>>4102
>tired
oh man, the tiresomeness is killing me. I was always the type of guy that people were asking if I even slept but over the past few years it really went too bad. Today you could easily mistake me for a cannabis addict when you look at my mental capabilities. I struggle to get up even after 12 hours of sleep. I feel like a zombie throughout the day.
I am sad that you have the same problems as I do though. At least here we can connect with likeminded people and not feel like complete loners.
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引きこもり 02/06/18 (Tue) 22:57:23 00cdd3 No. 4136
>>4134
> I feel like a zombie throughout the day.
Same here to be honest.
>I am sad that you have the same problems as I do though. At least here we can connect with likeminded people and not feel like complete loners.
Very true.
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引きこもり 02/07/18 (Wed) 00:43:08 337818 No. 4137
>>4119
I can't tell you how much I despise modern day politics. Everyone gets so uppity over fucking opinions of shit that doesn't even matter nor asked all the goddamn time for while real problems happening right now are ignored in favor of virtue signaling about how much of a good person or edgy they are. No one wants to challenge each others thoughts anymore and everyone retreats into there own hugboxes and echo chambers and ban for "wrong think". The current year "other opinions are toxic" bollocks plaguing western society doesn't help. I really don't understand how anyone can look at whats happening in the world and not just want to fucking kill themselves.
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引きこもり 02/07/18 (Wed) 09:43:18 00cdd3 No. 4146
>>4137
> I really don't understand how anyone can look at whats happening in the world and not just want to fucking kill themselves.
I know right tell me about it.
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引きこもり 02/07/18 (Wed) 10:22:04 580ca8 No. 4147
>>4137
>> I really don't understand how anyone can look at whats happening in the world and not just want to fucking kill themselves.
I know right man I keep looking at the world and find out that it's so fucking messy How can I survive in it anymore
Even wonderd why are you still alive anyway ?
That's how I'm living everyday
people are dump and getting dumper everyday
Things aren't what they used to be anymore
everyone keep desiring meaningless things
Everyone wants to be in a good jop and to be rich and so on
I will die soon and I know it
I even feel pretty much far away from everything
Idk if the world become very boring or it's just me
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引きこもり 02/08/18 (Thu) 01:43:06 00cdd3 No. 4150
>>4147
>I know right man I keep looking at the world and find out that it's so fucking messy How can I survive in it anymore
>Even wonderd why are you still alive anyway ?
>That's how I'm living everyday
>I know right man I keep looking at the world and find out that it's so fucking messy How can I survive in it anymore
>Even wonderd why are you still alive anyway ?
>That's how I'm living everyday
I know that feel bro honestly i feel like i have no purpose in this world anymore i also feel completely drained of life and i just wanna disappear completely but i can't even motivate myself to kill myself either because to be honest it just seems like a big pain in the ass.
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 05:47:20 335126 No. 4710
I don't know if it's only me who feels this way but theres nothing I want, sure I need a new PC if I'm going to play the newer games but I don't really care whether I can or not I don't even play games much anymore.
Even if I went out got a job and got money there is nothing I'd buy so what's the point, the only thing I do want is someone to talk to occasionally when the loneliness creeps in but I'd soon run out of topics to discuss as I don't do anything all day yesterday was the same as today and today will be the same as tomorrow on my deathbed I'll still be waiting for my life to start and it never will.
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 06:27:38 b4dbf3 No. 4711
>>4710
> the only thing I do want is someone to talk to occasionally when the loneliness creeps in but I'd soon run out of topics to discuss
You will always have us anon us hikkis have to stick together.
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 08:03:34 335126 No. 4712
>>4711
If the worst were to happen and Jim shut down the site where would we go now that hikkichan is gone?
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 08:26:53 b4dbf3 No. 4713
>>4712
>If the worst were to happen and Jim shut down the site where would we go now that hikkichan is gone?
I don't think that will happen anytime soon but if it does there is always Wizardchan and Tohno Chan i'm also thinking about creating a new imageboard for true hikkis only i wouldn't let it end up like hikkichan i would do a better job tbh and if any of you guys wanted to be mods i would gladly appreciate that but as of right now i'm only considering the idea there is more in the meta sticky about this discussion.
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 09:23:50 335126 No. 4714
>>4713
Seems to me that wizchan went downhill a while ago I won't go there anymore I'm 90% sure all of the posts are roleplayers
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 13:04:57 08d4a9 No. 4715
>>4710
>theres nothing I want
I understand this all too well. I suppose in a way I'm just content with the world as is, I probably wouldn't feel much different if most of the people in the world just disappeared completely.
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 16:29:17 4dc9ba No. 4716
>>4710
>>4715
Recently, I was thinking about what I would do if I ever won the lottery, and what kind of things I would buy. To my surprise, the list was very short:
>a place of my own
>a new PC
>a drawing tablet
>a new desk and chair
>some new clothes (mine are getting a bit ragged now)
I realized that with the exception of a place of my own, all of these things aren't too hard to come by. Unfortunately, it means I would have to put up with several months of wageslaving to get them, but after that I would be set for years, theoretically.
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引きこもり 03/12/18 (Mon) 16:54:58 335126 No. 4717
>>4716
What else do people actually buy though? I'll never understand how people can barely "survive" with a full time job
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引きこもり 03/13/18 (Tue) 01:19:14 4dc9ba No. 4726
>>4717
It's the normalfags. They waste their money on countless frivolities, luxury cars, houses with more rooms than anyone really needs, massive televisions, the latest phones, a new outfit for every day of the week, dozens of pairs of shoes, a plethora of the latest electronics that they don't know how to use, the list goes on. And of course once they've bought up all of those things, they blow the rest on drugs and alcohol for parties where they invite all of their "friends," by which I mean people they occasionally socialize with who don't actually care about them and vice versa.
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引きこもり 03/13/18 (Tue) 16:37:03 9957d5 No. 4732
>>419
I squandered all the opportunities i was given in this life.
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引きこもり 03/13/18 (Tue) 23:44:30 00cdd3 No. 4736
>>4732
>I squandered all the opportunities i was given in this life.
I know what you mean anon i've pretty much done the same thing all of my life there were a few times i did try to escape this lifestyle and rejoin society but for the most part i've pretty much threw away all the opportunities i was given in life i think most hikkis suffer from Avoidant personality disorder.
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引きこもり 03/14/18 (Wed) 20:02:43 66d850 No. 4759
>last week lawyer emails me and uncle saying she wants to talk to us
>no idea what its about since uncle isn't involved with lawsuit
>come today get ambushed with intervention type thing and have my spaghetti spilled
Apparently she thought it was a good idea to spring the idea of going to a psychiatrist on me in front of my uncle. See, i gave her my discharge papers from the army that said i was self harming and super depressed and anxious. That's why i was discharged from the army. But my uncle didn't know that. I told my family that i had injured my knees which isn't a lie. My knees are shit and i hurt them pretty badly doing all that high impact training. So now she's going to give us names to look up and see, even offering to front the money. I have no excuses and i can't pretend like all is well in front of my uncle anymore. Im not even all that depressed right now, i'm just a schizoid who wants nothing to do with other people. My problems right now stem from being forced to wagecuck and deal with this kind of shit.
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引きこもり 03/14/18 (Wed) 22:22:46 66b33f No. 4765
>>4759
Damn that sucks anon hope everything works out eventually.
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引きこもり 03/14/18 (Wed) 22:54:29 1c0eeb No. 4768
>>4759
Sounds awful, but maybe if you're able to weather through, it may mean you could get neetbucks, save for a place of your own, and be free of wagecuckery or people bothering you.
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引きこもり 03/15/18 (Thu) 00:56:13 66d850 No. 4769
>>4768
yeah i'm thinking of just going all in on this if the person is actually willing to listen, i'm sure they'll dump pills on me and all sorts of shit the second i start talking
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引きこもり 03/15/18 (Thu) 00:56:36 66d850 No. 4770
>>4769
for the sake of neetbucks obviously i realize they cant help me
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引きこもり 03/15/18 (Thu) 03:03:13 335126 No. 4773
>>4769
Dumping pills is the backbone of psychiatry, I cant tell you what to do but I personally wouldn't take them.
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引きこもり 06/10/18 (Sun) 23:32:11 1cbda5 No. 5765
I can't take it anymore i'm sick of life i don't get pleasure out of doing anything anymore everyday is the same and all i do is sleep 13 hours a day wake up eat nothing but starch crap and browse the internet. I'm tired of seeing my siblings and other family members being more successful than me and i'm tired of just overall living because i know deep down i will never be able to function in society anyway so what's the point? i'm done i've had enough..
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引きこもり 06/11/18 (Mon) 09:43:58 e7dd0c No. 5769
>>5765
>I can't take it anymore i'm sick of life
We all are
> don't get pleasure out of doing anything anymore everyday is the same
Anhedonia kicked in and I have no idea how to solve it, I personally force myself to sit and do one thing at a time, but I'm still a dead corpse nonetheless.
>all i do is sleep 13 hours a day wake up eat nothing but starch crap and browse the internet
A typical day of mine. but I sleep for over twenty hours these days since I've nothing to wake up for, nor I have any motivation to change myself (no I'm not just a lazy douchebag who don't want to change his ways.)
>I'm tired of seeing my siblings and other family members being more successful than me and i'm tired of just overall living because i know deep down i will never be able to function in society anyway.
I'm sick of seeing them functioning well into the creepy world, while I'm siting in my room starting at the ceiling, I cry alot too not because I've missed the (life bus) but because I'm sick of everything. I can't sit and watch of anime that I like, unless, I'm forcing my self but even then I can't continue it. so as a result I go to my bed lay down on it and fall asleep.
> what's the point? i'm done i've had enough..
Life is a meaningless struggle BO and only normals are able to be the best players, while we're the weakest of the weak hiding in our caves like rats, because we're too afraid of walking among the normal players, they may eat us alive, so our automatic action is to hide and wait til the madness and retardation ends.
So your best option (aside from suicide because you still have people who care about you don't hurt them wait until they die first.
Yeah I know they're the reason we're now and we should hate them. still can't put them in such a desperate situation, they will have to deal with alot of shit right after they discover your corps.
So try to fing something that will help you
I may sound like a normalfag at this part in particular, but believe me my hobby is the only thing that keeps me alive. (I.e I aimed to be fluent in English one year ago and now I'm advanced level) you can do the same, pick up a language and start learning it instead of browsing the weird study it everyday, It'll be a torture at the beginning, but once you reach the upper intermediate level you ill be able explore new cultures, watch unpopular TV shows in their native language and give it a try If it didn't work out for you, try another thing there are alot of hobbies that you can master them
Don't give up without a fight. I'm not encouraging you to leave, that's your right you can decide whether you truly want to leave or not. but I just wanted you to believe that anti depression pills, especially wellbutrin and practising English kept me alive for years.
Btw, if you're being forced to work a deadend job and be a wageslave. remember your life in in your hand once it gets unbearable enough click the button
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引きこもり 06/12/18 (Tue) 01:59:18 1cbda5 No. 5772
>>5769
>We all are
True.
>Anhedonia kicked in and I have no idea how to solve it, I personally force myself to sit and do one thing at a time, but I'm still a dead corpse nonetheless
I've been trying to do this too.
>A typical day of mine. but I sleep for over twenty hours these days since I've nothing to wake up for, nor I have any motivation to change myself
Damn that's a lot more sleep than i get.
>Im sick of seeing them functioning well into the creepy world, while I'm siting in my room starting at the ceiling, I cry alot too not because I've missed the (life bus) but because I'm sick of everything. I can't sit and watch of anime that I like, unless, I'm forcing my self but even then I can't continue it. so as a result I go to my bed lay down on it and fall asleep.
This is how i feel pretty much almost everyday. Part of me is upset that i have pretty much missed the (life bus) but part of me is also content with my situation and i am somewhat happy being a hikikomori neet.
>Life is a meaningless struggle BO and only normals are able to be the best players, while we're the weakest of the weak hiding in our caves like rats, because we're too afraid of walking among the normal players,
This is true.
>If you're being forced to work a deadend job and be a wageslave. remember your life in in your hand once it gets unbearable enough click the button.
True there is really no excuse for wagecucking unless you're maybe really desprate for money.
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引きこもり 06/12/18 (Tue) 13:26:26 e5b47f No. 5774
>>5769
>I'm sick of seeing them functioning well into the creepy world, while I'm siting in my room starting at the ceiling
I know this feel all too well. For them it seems like everything is effortless and smooth sailing where they went from college to multiple job offers to getting to move around the country and travel the world regularly
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引きこもり 06/13/18 (Wed) 01:46:03 0ec491 No. 5777
>have been a NEET for like 5 years at this point
>just got out of mental ward
>spent almost 2 weeks there after hurting myself
>don't have a job or any prospects or getting one
>"have you decided to get your drivers license yet"
are you fucking kidding me
it's like they just can't/won't grasp that i'm fucked up
it's like they just assume that i'm just a lazy lovable douche who "lol just can't get his shit together haha"
like i'm some fucking sitcom character
or on the other hand i have family who just treats me like i'm retarded after this incident
as if i'm not even a real person and am just like this thing they're obligated to interact with sometimes
i hate this shit
i hate having to live with my family and i know all too well how awful being homeless is
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引きこもり 06/13/18 (Wed) 19:13:21 afa97c No. 5781
All I have in my life are games. Right now my sole purpose in life is to get decent at playing R6S. Pretty fucking sad.
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引きこもり 06/15/18 (Fri) 03:59:43 a14154 No. 5795
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引きこもり 06/15/18 (Fri) 05:24:43 d0f049 No. 5801
life is just hell I dunno how else to put it
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引きこもり 06/15/18 (Fri) 05:27:13 1cbda5 No. 5802
>>5801
>life is just hell I dunno how else to put it
Very true.
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