/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>6645

>Am I a hikki if I only go out for food and therapy?

Yes this discussion does not need to even be had.

sometimes I will sit in the backyard to get some vitamin D and about once a month my Dad will drive me to the dentist but thats really about it fuck…

>>6650

You're going to the dentist montly?

Why?

>>6940

good luck

>>7277

(cont)

It also bears mentioning that family is certainly no barrier to me killing myself. At. All. Since, after all, I'd be dead so what difference would it make how they'd feel given that I wouldn't even exist anymore? I don't mean to sound cold or cruel or vicious when I say that, but it's not like I can really control how they'd feel and sticking around for their sake alone, despite being in agony, would be foolish. If you feel differently that's fine, but I don't. If I had the guts to kill myself right this instant, even if that meant having to do it right in front of my parent's eyes (as part of the hypothetical catch of finally being able to do it), I'd proceed without hesitation. Their feelings wouldn't amount to a hill of beans when compared against seizing true freedom, frankly. Controversial opinion, but, as far as I'm concerned, anyone who says that family is the only thing holding them back, are just lying to themselves, and are just trying to find an easy excuse to cover up for their own cowardice and lack of balls to pull the trigger.

The real answer though, as much as it pains me to continually realize it, is that there is no answer for someone like me. Not really. Often my most common fantasies in regards to suicide have been those in which my death happens suddenly and without my knowledge. Examples being the more common variety such as dying unexpectedly in my sleep somehow, or, in my case, more fantastically remote possibilities like a meteorite streaming through the atmosphere and blasting me through the head from the ceiling. I've also fantasized about being struck with a life ending illness of some kind. On a similar note, it would also be nice, in a way, if I could take the terminal disease of someone who still wants to live. After all, they get what they want, I get what I want, and I get to really help somebody for once in my life just before I head out the door. What's not to like? Besides the impending doom/pain associated with the disease, of course. I've also fantasized a lot about somebody else killing me, thereby saving me from having to do it myself. A home invader, a trigger happy cop, a professional assassin hired to kill mePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7278

(cont)

>>6318

>Every day is the exact same thing; eat, sleep, listen to the same tunes, play the same games and staring at the same ceiling. The only thing I enjoy these days is sleeping, waking up fucking sucks as its back to same tired routine and feeling more exhausted then I did before falling asleep. video games just remind me how shit I am at everything, my lack of hobbies and motivation to learn new ones a constant reminder of my total lack of meaningful skills.

>I don't have the will or strength to "fix" myself and even if I did, whats left of life to enjoy?

You said it, mayne. My life in a nutshell. Curled up in my bed, in the middle of the night, just weeping at the awfulness of it all. As an aside, I find myself crying a lot more than I used to these days. Then again, I guess I have a lot of reasons to.

>>6365

>I never understood why people say these things in order to cheer others up. Confirming that there are others out there in equally shitty situations isn't exactly a good thing, neither does it change the individual's situation.

Yes, I know what you mean. If anything, it just serves as an exclamation mark to my own hopelessness. It seems everybody is either depressed or anxious these days which, to me, just makes me feel even worse. I'd rather be part of a rare minority since, at least then, there'd be more of a chance of someone helping me, while also not feeling like my pain is as common as dishwater. That can't happen if everyone's drowning in the same sea of shit. I just can't help, but feel like a peon in my suffering. "Oh, you're in pain? Well fuck you, so am I. Wanna swap stories 'buddy'?" In the end, no one cares. It's a shitty world and wePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7270

Un Homme Qui Dort. A 25-year-old male student in Paris becomes indifferent to the world around him, and subsequently feels a strong sense of alienation and hopelessness.

>Narrator: It is on a day like this one, a little later, a little earlier, that you discover, without surprise, that something is wrong, that you don't know how to live and that you never will. Something has broken. You no longer feel some thing which until then fortified you. The feeling of your existence, the impression of belonging to or being in the world, is starting to slip away from you. Your past, your present and your future merge into one. You are 25 years old, you have 29 teeth, three shirts and eight socks, 500 francs a month to live on, a few books you no longer read, a few records you no longer play. You don't want to remember anything else. Here you sit, and you only want to wait, just to wait until there's nothing left to wait. You go back to your room, you undress, you slip between the sheets, you turn out the light, you close your eyes. Now is the time when dream-women, too quickly undressed, crowd in around you, the time when you reread ad nauseam books you've a read a thousand times before, when you toss and turn for hours without getting to sleep. This is the hour when your eyes wide open in the darkness, you hand groping towards the foot of the narrow bed in search of an ashtray, matches, a last cigarette, you calmly measure the sticky extent of your unhappiness. Unhappiness did not swoop down on you, it insinuated itself almost ingratiatingly. It meticulously impregnated your life, your movements, the hours you keep, your room, it took possession of the cracks in the ceiling, of the lines in your face in the cracked mirror, of the pack of cards; it slipped furtively into the dripping tap on the landing, it echoes in sympathy with the chimes of each quarter-hour from the bell of Saint-Roch. How many times you have repeated the same amputated gesture, the same journey's that lead nowhere? All you have left to fall back on are your tuppeny-halfpenny boltholes, your idiotic patience, the thousand and one detours that always lead you back unfailingly to your starting point. All that counts is your solitude: whatever you do, whePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7274

I've also experienced palpable moments of "Harm OCD" as well (the fear that your thoughts will lead you to spontaneously enact physical harm to those around you). I've never felt this way towards my family, thankfully, and it has, essentially, just been something relegated to the few times I've been outside within last 12 years. It would usually only present itself when I'd be forced into a crowded area or, worse, be in a position where I'd need to interact with a stranger. I'd often find myself with the overwhelming fear that I'd give into this enticing urge to scream at the top of my lungs, or go sprinting like a madman with my arms flailing or even, in some instances, physically assault the stranger in front of me. As if I'd completely lose control of myself and do something I absolutely didn't want to do. Like laying in the chair at the dentist's office and feeling like I'm just going to leap up and jam a drill in someone's eye. The urge itself can be so strange. Unbelievably strong, yet also undetectably subtle. For a while I had no idea this was related to OCD, since my thought rituals never came with any sort of bizarre urges to act out physically. For the longest time, I just assumed it was latent psychotic tendencies and that I was slowly becoming a deranged maniac. Luckily, it was fairly easy to ignore given that, again, I very rarely leave the house. I remember hearing a story a long time ago about this woman who had to hide the knives in her house because, otherwise, she was terrified of the possibility that she'd end up spontaneously stabbing her husband to death. Kinda similar to what I felt in my own way, frankly.

I've also sometimes experienced a variant of Harm OCD except, strangely enough. towards my physical possessions. In those times, the anxiety/fear can be quite unpleasant. It feels like all I'd have to do is lose myself for a split second. Just long enough for me to throw my wireless mouse against my monitor, or do something equally disastrous. The feeling of panicked precariousness is constant and unbearable. Like a part of me wants to fuck myself over in the most heinous way possible. Again though, it comes and go. Just like a lot of things to a deranged mind, I suppose.

Yes, I had to start recently because my sister moved back in and the 1 bathroom is overused. Due to moisture damage and mold there are lots of other overpowering smells to mask the piss so I can't tell if they smell or not, but I doubt it since they are capped and the room ventilates with a window a couple times every week. I am more disgusted by the sweat that accumulates in bed at night. There is no way to contain it. Living in the tropics is hellish.

>>7023

Never.

>>7044

>I have my own bathroom.

Nice.

>>7053

>Same. That and a slot for food & water to be passed through to me & back again, along with a pneumatic chute for disposal of garbage. I'm not sure I'd ever leave my room if I had those things. If for nothing else, at least it would be convenient.

Same here

>I've never understood how can one can be a true hikikomori (as in they never, ever leave their room) unless they'd then also be willing to piss in bottles and shit in buckets and or bags to accomplish it. Which, as you already mentioned, is probably one of the most disgusting things I can imagine. I mean, god damn, just use the fucking bathroom. Is there actually reports of people doing this, or is it just a meme? If there is, then man. Hikikomori or not, people like that should be shot out of a high velocity cannon towards the sun. I don't mean to sound judgemental, it's just that I'm pretty obsessive when it comes to keeping my own space nice & clean and I absolutely can't stand or wrap my head around slobs who treat their rooms like crap. I'll never understand all those pics out there of hikikomori who are content sitting in a pile, or even a mountain, of their own trash. Personally, it's enough to make me gag just looking at it, but whatever. To each their own, I guess. I'm just tired of how associated it is with being a hikikomori.

Those kind of extreme cases of the hikikomori condition are actually extremely rare according to research and studies done in Japan on current and former hikikomori people the majority of hikikomori even though they are mostly housebound and spend all of their time in their bedrooms still go outside occasionally such as at night to the grocery store or a 24 hour convenience store to buy necessities for a walk and so on hell i am currently learning Japanese and i have had the opportunity to talk to some Japanese hikikomori people on some other sites and what most of them have told me is that even though they live with their parents and spend all of their time in their bedroom at home nearly every single day they still go outside like to the store for a walk to the dentiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I started doing it because I didn't want to wake my family up by flushing the toilet late at night. Plus, it's comfy. Eventually I stopped after I accidentally took a sip out of a piss bottle thinking it was carbonated water, because the plastic was tinted and I wasn't paying attention.

>>7046

If you use plastic bottles and make sure you keep the cap on tight, they shouldn't smell. I found that if you keep them long enough they will shrivel up (not sure what the chemistry behind that is), which means it should be almost airtight. Dumping them out after is really disgusting though; I had to hold my breath for the whole time.

I live with my parents, and at times my anxiety gets so bad I just want them to forget that I exist, I don't want them to hear a door open, or a toilet flush and have something spark in them. I'll piss in empty water bottles, and then clean them out the next day, I never let them accumulate and I empty them out when night comes.

It's part of a cycle when my anxiety and sense of shame gets really really bad.

I used to be very very against alcohol and would never even imagine drinking. To me, it only brought negatives and was one of the few negative things I could easily resist. Recently though I have started thinking maybe its not so bad. I haven't drank a whole lot but idk its not like like I really have a reason to not drink anyway. It could be just because I feel so brain dead bored but it feels kinda good to be drunk. Probably gonna do it more.

>>7256

>living dex

I wish you the best of luck on your endeavor, anon. I'm pretty sure you'll need to trade for some eventmons; if it's any help, I think halfchan's Pokemon board has regular trade threads.

>alcohol

I don't think I could ever drink. The idea of losing my judgement and self-control, even temporarily, terrifies me. I don't know what I'd do and I don't want to know.

>>7214

>Anyway, just think about how annoying eating actually is. It's a huge waste of time, and your life would be much better if you didn't have to do it.

Naw I love eating, it's literally the best part of my day and I try to do it as much as possible. I'm a true glutton through and through.

>diet advice

Like all fat people I've been on a hundred diets and I'l do a hundred more. I've gained and lost hundreds of pounds on multiple occasions. I fucking despise being fat, and fat people in general. I view it as a physical manifestation of weakness. I think I'l stop being fat in the near future when I stop having money to pay for excessive food.

>I think you are probably prone to addiction in general. Definitely don't drink alcohol.

I don't think I'm prone to addiction. I drink alcohol occasionally, and certainly had times in my life where i got blackout drunk ever night. I have no urge to drink though. I'm completely neutral towards alcohol. I've tried opiate pills and went off them with little to no urge to continue. I wouldn't even say I'm addicted to mmo's, as I constantly stop playing them when there is nothing left to do. I'm just trying to pass the time.

>Sleeping is terrible as well, and everything makes it difficult for me so it's even worse.

I fucking love sleeping. I try to get 12 hours a day and if it was possible I'd sleep forever. When you sleep 16 hours a day it really fucks with your sense of time, its one of the most comfy feelings i've ever felt. Not knowing or caring about time.

> I have just made a tunnel from the ocean all the way to hell

I haven't played terraria since it was released but didn't hell not allow water? Like the water would just disappear near the hell realm.

>>7219

(Continued from above….)

>In a way, what I want is to completely melt and become one with someone else, so I can't be that attached to the self.

I've always loved the idea of that as well, and have fantasized about something similar many times. Being fluidically connected to someone else and having our skulls, bones, muscles pass through each other like jello. No secrets, no fears, everything laid bare. Fusing together to form something new. In my case, the Great Link of the Founders from DS9 comes to mind and more specifically how Odo could link with another of his kind and completely lose himself euphorically in it.

>I only do it in games that I like a lot, if I care enough

Same here, although, even after all this time, I sometimes find myself going after achievements I'd otherwise rather not bother with. For the most part however, I just ignore them.

My poison used to be the PS trophy system. When I "retired", as it were, I had 18 000+ trophies, 300+ platinums, 700+ ultra rare trophies (one of the highest globally at the time), and a completion rate of over 97%. Eventually I hit a breaking point and just couldn't do it anymore. Since then I've pretty much exclusively been playing on PC.

>she was miserable to begin with, so she would just be like that possibly for the rest of her life if she didn't find anyone else.

Fair enough, but, personally, I still think that misery was only enhanced by their meeting. Call it my own little complex, or whatever, but I just can't help, but see relationships, of any form, as being vehicles for further harm to take place. The best, and only, answer being to avoid it. If there's one right thing I've done in my life it's at least been that. To do as little harm as possible and to remain in the grandstands of philosophical & worldly detachment, having bothered as few people as possible witPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7214

>I also started eating once a day because I could play more games for longer periods of time and marathon more anime if I didn't waste time on that, and that trained my mind to not care about food anymore.

>Still eating once a day for the most part whether that's healthy or not

I also lost a ton of weight about a year ago just by eating one meal a day and removing all the sugar laden shit from my diet. Which, in my case, wasn't really that much since, even when I was a fat ass, I absolutely hated the continually recurring bothersome chore of having to eat (still do) and never had soda, or most kinds of sweets, junk food & pastries, since I hated the taste of 90% of it. The worst thing that kept me fat by far, personally speaking, was chocolate milk and, more or less, having a glass of it after every meal. Just dropping that alone made a huge difference to me and I probably would've been at a much more stable weight years prior had I just gotten rid of it sooner. The only thing I drink nowadays is water and, occasionally, some almond milk when I feel like having a bowl of oatmeal. I also dropped eating any kind of bread as well and haven't had a slice of bread or a single piece of fast food/junk food in over a year. My Mom makes me tons of healthy meals these days (really came to like brussel sprouts & broccoli funnily enough, after finally trying them for the first time) and, at this point, you honestly couldn't even pay me to eat the disgusting slop I used to pollute myself with. Modern mass produced "food" is simply poison and proper home cooked meals, like the kind I enjoy, are really the only answer. It also helps that I have an extremely weak digestive system which, more often than I'd like, made eating junk food/fast food a literal hell, since it'd be left up to a coin toss whether or not I'd then end up getting crippling gut cramps later on. The kind that have you bowled over on the floor, pretty much totally incapacitated. Increasingly visceral pain such as that, can be, as I found, a wonderful motivator for change.

The idea of Misaki also really motivated me to change since I felt, and still do, that if she were real, I'd need to be as slim Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7074

>Currently reading Vineland, next will be Inherent Vice, then The Crying of Lot 49, and then V. After I'll either take a break from Pynchon or read the rest of his works.

>What have you guys been reading?

>

I'm straying from the alienation theme, but I really liked Life of a Counterfeiter. It's a short story about a painter who counterfeited the works of a more successful artist, and could never find any happiness in himself.

>>6946

I just started reading Stoner, and I can already see his attitude of detachment right from the beginning. Hopefully I can keep myself focused on finishing it.

>>7074

Nice, I just finished reading Vineland a while back. It's definitely a good book, and Pynchon's style and technique is really entertaining. Best of luck at becoming a better reader.

>>6834

The computer gives access to an entire universe (the internet), but it still feels like "just the computer" after some time. Everything feels the same.

Try to do something that doesn't involve the computer, like drawing or learning an instrument.

These activities will develop a connection with your own body.

the only things I participate in are things I enjoy, and that's almost never been anime.

>>6834

I have the same problem, I can never finish anything,if I even start anything at all.

Something I've been doing recently though is trying to get myself to want to play a game or watch a movie due to someone else having enthusiasm for it.

As an example, I was watching a guy on youtube called Jordan Underneath who made a video about how he loves Abes oddysee, and by the end of the video he had me wanting to play it. so i did.

and every time I'm playing it and my mind starts to dull again i just re-watch the video and i enjoy it again.

its been a month and i still haven't got through the game though, so the tactic is a work in progress. ha

so maybe use that trick with other things, look up retrospective videos on movies and games and see if it helps you enjoy things a little more.>>6834

>>6284

>Pic is a cat grass plant I've grown at home using all things I ordered online.

Wish i had time for hobbies like that.

Buy freeze dried food, at least one water filter, a USB solar panel or 2 + battery charger + batteries. You can do this thru Amazon or thru various freeze dried food websites. Convert your neetbux to gold if you can. Don't forget toilet paper and toothpaste and soap. You don't want fleas. And you better have a radio and a portable game system to pass away the time.

Congratulations, when the shit hits the fan you can bug in and be /comfy/ while everything goes fucking Venezuela out there. That's what I buy and I have ever since I got my autismbux 10 years ago.

>>6280

Here in UK you can order shopping direct to door for £1-3 ($1-$4) from store maybe worth looking into.

>>6419

Some of those freeze dried sites sell go-bag kits. That might be worth looking into. Also get yourself a nit comb. Even if you don't have fleas, they're really good at removing dandruff from hair. And if you do end up with fleas or lice (due to your fellow humans), then the nit comb pulls those things out of your hair.

>>4650

60 which isn't THAT old, but he is almost morbidly obese

>>4651

> 60 which isn't THAT old, but he is almost morbidly obese

Sorry to hear that anon.

>>4653

>Not happy but just content until I have my bad days when the depression kicks in, other times I get lonely and wonder why I've done this to myself.

Same here pretty much.

>IBS

>Panic Disorder

>Depression

>No appetite

>Underweight

>No energy, always tired

>No hygiene (shower once every week, never brush teeth)

>Maladaptive daydreaming

>Always talking to self

>Suicidal tendencies

>Depersonalisation

>Feet always cold

it's all so tiresome

I have a really bony ass which, quite literally, makes my butt hurt almost all the time, regardless of how comfy the chair I'm sitting in is. The bottom part of my thighs also feel like jello and sometimes cause me discomfort after prolonged periods of sitting. Doing some squats and Turkish Get-Ups everyday helped a little when I was exercising on a regular basis for a good 3-4 months last year, but then I started experiencing rather severe ETD (Eustachian tube dysfunction). My left ear would plug up like crazy almost all the time, despite having nothing in it whatsoever. Once I stopped exercising it went away completely, even though I still sometimes experience it every now & again.

I used to suffer from having an extremely weak digestive system which led to lots of painful stomach & intestinal cramping, but taking pro-biotics everyday seems to have cleared that up and I haven't suffered from anything like that for a while.

Social anxiety

Depression/ bipolar

Chronic alcoholic

Drug abuse

Anti-social behavior

>>7091

Same guy^^forgot to mention physical stuff but i have chronic back, joint and knee pains.

>>5358

Same here, also have no car and worried I'd look stupid bringing my beat-up backpack into the store or people thinking I would steal since this is a seedy area.

>>5194

>I actually did get my licence at 23. The landwhale who administered the test actually scoffed at my age since getting a licence after 18 is apparently abnormal

I got mine after my twentieth birthday and the slut behind the desk kind of subtley mocked me too. Do your job, I didn’t ask for the judgement

>>7031

>2005

Typo, meant to say 2007.

>>1251

That's from the Korean section right? I don't know much about their styles or themes but I've heard good things about Gate of Revelation in the past. I hope you find it enjoyable, but even if you don't there's plenty of others books to choose from until something takes your fancy.

>>1261

>That's from the Korean section right? I

Not sure

>>1261

Those aren't Korean characters. Those look like this

안녕하세요 (An nyong ha say yo) formal hello; literally means do you walk with peace.

>>4381

I meant that I'm trying to prepare myself for future conditions, not that I'm trying to get used to a new situation.

>>4379

>lucky

>live in Australia

I might not have to deal with snow, but I have to deal with 35+ degree weather.

>>4385

>I meant that I'm trying to prepare myself for future conditions, not that I'm trying to get used to a new situation.

Oh i see okay never mind i misunderstood.

>>4386

>I might not have to deal with snow, but I have to deal with 35+ degree weather.

Damn.

>>7032

Anyway, aside from recently upgrading my PC with some new hardware, I don't really spend my monthly NEETbux very much, if at all. I am "saving it" in a way by reinvesting the money back in improving/renovating my parent's house, which will eventually be my house someday (assuming the damn thing ever gets fully paid off, that is). If the mortgage wasn't an issue then, short of societal collapse (which itself is a very distinct possibility to happen within the next 10 years, frankly), I'd more or less be set for life. My parents have never had any qualms with my being an inert hermit and are, more or less, the perfect guardians for one such as myself. They fully accept that my WizNEETing isn't really a choice at this point, assuming it ever really was, and that I was more or less just born & destined for this life and, thus, accept me for who I am, as we all take care of each other the best we can. They're more than happy to leave me the house, but again, I just don't see how the mortgage will ever be paid off before they die unless either I or my parents (who are relatively old themselves now, Mom is mid 50's, Dad is early 60's) get a sizeable inheritance of some kind or we otherwise win the lottery, so in the end it's all somewhat of a waste. Hopefully the dominoes will all fall the right way for things to work out, but either way what can you do. I do sometimes wish I had caught the shooting star of the bitcoin craze somehow. Then we could all be living in a nice big three story house with total financial security. Like most who fantasize about easy fortunes they missed the boat on, it hurts quite a lot to think about.

There's also the possibility that my brother might end up subsidizing my existence after my parents can no longer do so, since he makes quite a lot of money doing research at a private firm and making knick knack furniture in his off time for bored rich people with more dollars than sense, and is going into a career in medicine that will probably make him even more money. Maybe he'll end up paying for everything, but again. Who can say. All depends on how the chips fall. Tossed about just like a ship on the ocean.

Ultimately, the only thing Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7045

>It's way too big, though

Our house is a cheap Canadian bungalow built in the 50's that's about the size of a shoebox and, to most people I'd imagine, be barely seem fit to house even two people, let alone an entire family. We're barely a step up from the "Trailer Park Boys", assuming you've ever heard of that show. I don't even know how both me & my brother growing up managed to survive stuffed up in this sardine can without all the walls getting splattered with blood in the process. The lack of space here has long been a point of great stress, especially for me. Neither of us had our own rooms and were forced to share one a lot would consider the size of a closet. The hilarity being we never even used it as such, since it basically just became the computer area for the family and a walk in storage closet for random crap, since there was never any other place to put such things. In the end, no one had the luxury of private space or a room, not even my parents. I slept in the living room with my Dad, me on a mattress on the floor and him in a cot in the hallway near the front door, & my brother slept in my Mom's room. The day my brother left for university and started living on his own was such a momentous one for me, since it meant there'd be one less person taking up space here and more room to actually breathe. However, even when he comes back to visit he still needs to sleep in the same bed as my Mother since it's still the only bedroom in the house and there's literally nowhere else for someone to sleep. He left sometime in 2010, but it wasn't until late 2016 that I finally got my own room after a long road of constant struggle, which included much scrimping and saving along with many heated arguments with my parents. The living room was refitted to serve as a living space for me with a door I could lock and everything. My Dad had begun to live/sleep in our basement since about 2014, which made the arrangement a perfect one since everyone (me in the living room, my mom in her room/the computer room, and my father in the basement) all finally had our own corners to retreat to. It all sounds rather frighteningly awful and, I suppose in a lot of ways, it kinda was. Being constantly exposed for all those many years in an open space and never knowing a single moment of privacy Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7047 (You)

(Continued from my last post. The word limit on this site is rather restrictive to be honest)

>>7045

>Even if I got a job (unlike you, I have never had one), it would never be enough, since continuing my education would be intolerable and jobs that pay well are not things that I would be able to do for more than a day or two before running back home.

I wouldn't even be able to do that. I'd sooner fling myself off the nearest bridge and drown (I don't know how to swim). Just because I had a part time job for two to three weeks 12 years ago, doesn't make me all that capable. If anything it only strengthens my conviction to never be in a position where I'd have return to that kind of shit. I'd say I got off pretty easy, though, given how brief my stint was with employment in general. Many have had to endure far worse in the working world after all.

>A small apartment is all I need.

I think I'd hate an apartment because what if you're living next to some annoying asshole who ends up tormenting you in some way. Think how Satou was forced to listen to that "Purin Purin" shit over & over again because the walls were so thin. I'd be way too cowardly & timid to make a fuss over it like he did, which means I'd just be at the mercy of whatever asshole happened to be next door. On the reverse, I'd be too scared to play anything loud because what if someone complains to the management and they come kicking down my door. Too much potential anxiety for me. Besides, I've already had to grapple with shit like that for most of my life already.

>>7047

>My mother has been unemployed for going on almost 3 decades

That's actually not true and is rather unfair to her actually. Not sure why I said that. She's had many jobs throughout the years. Just none she could make a full career out of. She's worked as a seamstress, a customer service representative at Sears, and, lastly, with an insurance company as a signing agent, which was about 10 years ago now.

I'm always saddened by the fact that my mother is actually a very talented woman and once had a well paying job in medicine that she gave up when she met my father. There was even opportunities for her to become a school teacher of some kind way back when, but she never pursued them. The extra money certainly would've been nice, but, in many ways, she's a NEET hermit like me, so I can't blame her for dropping out of everything. Besides, she's largely the reason things are basically as comfy around here as they are, what with being my main confidant/shield to the outside world. I'd never have gotten my NEETbux if it weren't for her diligently filling out all the forms and making sure I got what I needed, for instance.