/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>binge eating

>not eating

>sleeping for 20 hours

>staying awake for 50 hours

>skinnyfat

>bad heart

>terrible posture and thus back/neck pains

>near sighted

>paranoia

>disassociation problems

>identity issues

>body image issues

>suicidal tendencies

>violent tendencies

I also believe that i'm the son of the fallen angel Azaezel and he's both looking out for me and punishing me for not doing what he wants and he's been grooming me since birth to be his assassin to kill both devil and angel spawn on earth but ya know on some level i know it's not true but it seems very true and i think about it all the time. Like literally any time i think about the future of past, or current events or anything that isn't time killing nonsense i think about it. I just wish he would talk to me directly more often because i feel abandoned a lot of the time.

>>1917

>Paranoia

>Violent tendencies

I also suffer with these.

>>1915

>>Feel tired all the time (Except at night)

yeah what the fuck is up with this

>>1921

>yeah what the fuck is up with this

It's a common thing among hikkis to sleep during the day and prefer the night hours but i think were tired all the time because of the lack of oxygen in our brain.

>>1922

Oh i know i deal with it too. The warmness of the day makes me so sleepy and i don't ever really "wake up" until it's dark

>>1923

>The warmness of the day makes me so sleepy and i don't ever really "wake up" until it's dark

Same though during this time of year my room can sometimes get a little too warm to the point where i basically have trouble sleeping and need to open my window even when there is snow on the ground outside sometimes.

>>1924

yeah i've had my window open all week because my parents have the heater running and i can't stand it

>>1926

>i've had my window open all week because my parents have the heater running and i can't stand it

Do they have the heat up really high??.

>>1927

i think it's just my body and my computer/console/tv and i don't like the air to be warm because i sweat very easily

>>1925

>poor hearing

This is happening in my right ear but my left one is fine.

>>1928

>i think it's just my body and my computer/console/tv and i don't like the air to be warm because i sweat very easily

This was happening when i first became a hikki when i was 13 during the summertime the sun would come through my window and my body would get really hot and my computers fan would start going off i would also get really tired and fall asleep in my computer chair sometimes.

>>1931

>Alot of shit I already had/was before I became a hikki though

Same

For me it's lower back ache

, and my eyes get cold, dry, and sticky when I'm on the computer for a while.

>>1921

IIRC lack of exposure to sunlight ruins your circadian rhythm which governs sleep wake cycles.

I recommend an excercise program, and taking a regular walk at night is very good. Just start with picking stuff up and putting stuff down. The backache is in the abs, you need strong abs the support your spine. Start off easy by getting a good stretch.

Take care anon

>>1915

social phobia

hunchback

phimosis

>>1934

>I recommend an excercise program,

What do you mean by this??.

>And taking a regular walk at night

Ill. keep this in mind thanks anon.

>>1915

I think it's the other way around for me - my isolation comes from my malformed body.

>Crooked spine

>Crooked hips

>Both combine into constant backpain

>crooked legs

>flat foot

>Feet are turned to the side

>Combines into being unable to walk longer than an hour before strong pain sets in

>Head hair gets rejected by body, constantly itchy and a lot of dandruff

Those resulted in me never moving around, not making too many friends as a kid, which led to me getting bullied, which led to:

>Social anxiety

>Depression

>Eating whenever anxious or sad

which resulted in severe fatness

>Unable to sleep

>Paranoia

>starting to go hunchbacked from bad posture

>so nearsighted I'm basically blind

>Unidentifiable pain in my upper right jaw

>growing suspicions of painkiller addiction because of that

>Delusions of grandeur followed by periods of extreme lack of self-worth

>High blood pressure

>Not a day without suicidal urges

At least I found a solution to my fatness problem. Konjak flour mixed with protein powder.

The flour expands strongly in your stomach so you physically cannot eat any more, and the protein keeps you from keeling over from starvation.

Pretty cheap too. Two tablespoons of flour are plenty for a whole day, and the kilo costs 20-40$

Are you guys really addicted to porn? I just beat off to kill time usually, can't do it more than once a day now, and often forget about it.

>>1944

>Are you guys really addicted to porn?

Yes

>>1944

I used to fap 3 or 4 times a day and spend hours reading and playing eortica/doujins/h-games and my tastes got progressively more extreme as time went on. I've tried to cut down or stop completely many times but I crack in a few days and go back to fapping. Kind of hard to break a habit when there's nothing to replace the time with.

>>1945

>>1946

>>1947

How old are you guys? I'm 21 and have been hikki for 5 years. I used to be like this but i'm not anymore. Definitely still need porn to beat off but that's just a matter of exposure. After like 2 years of beating my dick raw i just couldn't do it anymore.

Have you guys tried an onihole? I found they drained me and i couldn't even get hard for the rest of the day

>>1948

>How old are you guys?

I'm 24 been a hikki since age 13 going into 14 so 10 years almost 11.

>Have you guys tried an onihole?

No

>>1938

If you have a back ache, strengthen your abs. Lay on your bed and do leg raises. Start slowly and build up the reps until your back feels better. In the beginning your stomach and hips will get sore. Rest a day in between. Don't over do it but you need to feel sore to get muscle.

Trust me it will work, you will see results in a week or two, then don't stop.

take care

>>1955

I didn't think of that thanks fellow elder hikki.

>>1956

The stronger your abdominals are the less back pain you will have because the abbs support the spine. The spine is very weak the muscles surrounding it are important for keeping your vertebrae aligned especially abbs. I do 50 leg raises while doing dumbell work every other day laying on my bed. This way I can do abbs and get a chest workout at the same time, variations of the clips below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mm3PbCgPPQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r687q0UiwKw

I did find you a great way to begin: The 3 Best Moves to Prevent Back Pain

When done together, these simple abs exercises will strengthen your core and save your back. https://www.menshealth.com/fitness/the-3-best-moves-to-prevent-back-pain

And some research for you: Banish Back Pain Forever

We sample 6 back-pain treatments to find out which one will make your pain go away fastest-and for good.

https://www.menshealth.com/health/banish-back-pain-forever

I personally had a pinched nerve in the spine. I had to crawl on my hands and knees to go to the bathroom. And found The Chiropractor to give immediate relief. But the most important part is to have a strong core especially abbs, to prevent back pain. Just go slow at first and build up your strength over time, make a good habit of your exercise routine, and you will be much happier.

I hope this helps you, take care anon. :)

>>1941

Mindfulness with the eyes closed, when you are almost asleep is the best experience with this type of meditation. Also you can learn to master your 5 senses, eventually the ability to turn them off at will can be achieved. A busy noisy place will enable you master this, helping you to understand surrender.

I prefer experiential meditation such as Qigong (microcosmic orbit) energy work, it gives the mind something to do and your attention won't wander as easily. lying down is my preferred method because you can really focus on energy movement. And if you go to sleep good, this is the natural way we recharge and heal the body.

Thank you for your awareness.

>>1957

Thanks for the links anon.

Fix "Hunchback" Posture in 10 Minutes/Day (Daily Exercise Routine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfSCZbb9MOY

>>1938

How to Fix “Low Back” Pain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWmGArQBtFI

This guy is very good he has a lot of experience.

>>1940

Konjak flour: this can bind you up, if you experience constipation, add some fruit and vegetables to your diet, like a few raisins will help this. A good life is well balanced, and we do the best we can to achieve this, no one can do any better than this. We love and accept one another here, and try to help each other. Encouraging our struggle and efforts to heal and make life better.

The Fap thing and food is our attempt to find comfort and balance, this is natural. But I want to remind that anything can become an addiction and all consuming. When you notice this, gently find another interest or activity like exercise to restore your balance. Love and accept yourself making small improvements everyday will occupy your mind and over your lifetime make things better. This will happen little by little with very little effort. Whatever you hold in your mind you will become. This is intention and it's that powerful. Water reaches its goal by flowing continually. It fills up every depression before it flows on.

Take care now, I hope this helps.

>>1963

Thanks anon, you're very kind.

>>1971

It's how I found freedom in an unfree world. Long story I'll answer your question and then you can decide if you want to hear the rest. I was born premature, November 19, 1954. Everything seemed to be okay until one day I was 10 years old and me and a friend were riding our bikes by my home and a new kid came and started a fight with my friend. For some reason I decided to protect my friend a chased the new kid on our bikes. I don't remember anything after he went across the street, I followed him and woke up in the hospital about 3 months later. A car hit me and I had a concussion, and coma for about 3 months. I was different when I woke up, I'll try to explain but, I didn't have the business deal mindset, or aggression like the other boys. Later my memory started to come back and I remembered watching myself being driven to the hospital in the ambulance, but from the point of view as if I was in a helicopter, up in the sky looking down at myself. Anyway I needed physical therapy, and periodically they would dig the gravel out of my skull a few pieces at a time, both were very painful. My Grandfather seeing what had happened set up a trust to pay for everything. It's still there but just covers the monthly expenses. My Grandfather and father are both dead now, father died last February at 92. Anyway after I woke up I had no interest in what people call normal. I read everything that crossed my path and continually researched why things are the way they are. I wanted to know the truth and like a sponge absorbed everything I could. I moved through my life without being caught up in things or being confined to a social identity. And I found out why I'm different. My research got easier after the Web got going. And I make a little money now and then with the research skill. So why did I, and do I withdraw from the world. To understand myself I had to find other men who wrote about these same things I was thinking. I'll give you a sample: Brilliance injured; In adversity, it furthers one to be persevering. Thus great men live: they veil their light, but still shine. Chinese maxim: tao guang yang hui; hide one's light and bide your time. To the ancient sages, only the bright and gentle could overcome the dark and unyielding. Only the wisest and, at the same time, strongest could appreciate this virtue and cultivate it. "Absorb information and turn it into knowledge." If he renounces the world , he is undaunted. The superior person stands alone without fear and withdraws from the world with no depression. This is the proper attitude for taking extraordinary action in an extraordinary situation. This is from the Yijing (I Ching). This is The Gateless Gate, "The Great Way has no gate, A thousand roads enter it. When one passes through this gateless gate,

He freely walks between heaven and earth."

Mumon's verse:

Before a step is taken, the goal is reached;

Before the tongue is moved, the speech is finished:

Though each move is ahead of the next.

There is still a transcendent secret.

This moments thoughts sees through eternal time;

Eternal time is just this moment.

If you see through this moments thought.

You see through the man who sees through this moment.

I have a question?: If you know that I'm just here to help, why do you keep deleting some of the things I give to the board? :)

>>1975

Would it be more accurate to say that you found religion? Taosim is both a philosophical system and a religious tradition and finding solace in a belief system, regardless if you agree with all of it or not, is actually a normal human reaction to an adverse situation.

You could even argue that the nature of people is to root themselves in familiarity first and foremost, it's why throughout history we have forcefully changed the surrounding environment to suit our needs rather than adapting to the environment itself.

>>1977

I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I don't have a religion, I'm not religious, and don't believe in anything. I like the philosophical aspects of Daoism and Zen, and their psychology even more because it really speaks to the human condition. It is a system more than a religion. But I like science even more and psychology, neuroscience, meditation, thermodynamics, Plasma physics, mycology, mycorrhizal symbiosis and Paul Stamets, entomology, zymology and a lot more. I have a lot of interests including art and music, just like everyone human. I also read the stories of Animism by Daniel Quinn, but I'm not an animist. I think we get confused by the words we use, a lot of them are interchangeable and have similar meaning. Your last question speaks about the story of you someplace in time, or the me, the I, that big sticky lump who wants to own everything. And will do anything to 'get' what it wants. I like history too, the real history about man's inhumanity to man, not the egotistical rationalizations we read in books, you know the fairytales. Thanks for your comments.

>>1979

You deleted music and free College classes and more to help people that specifically asked for what I gave. I don't do scams. I don't want to waste my time and effort. What this does is discourage help from getting to those people that asked for help. I don't think that you have decided yet if I'm good or bad, LOL

Here is the story of B in text, maybe we could put the books in a separate place like a library so everyone can find something to read, just a friendly suggestion.

http://www.davidsheen.com/b/

take care

>>1984

I suppose I just read something into your post that wasn't there then. It sounded to me like a lot of the post was based on a core 'belief' in taoism which is infinite roads returning to the source. I find it hard to seperate any mention of the dao with religion as the confidence and 'realizations' that stem from it are all assuming a fundamental truth that cannot (yet) be proven. From my point of view, that constitutes a fairly significant source of any religion and I find it hard to separate between the two. That's not to say there's nothing useful there, I think anyone claiming that any religion or its teachings have no value because the core belief cannot be proven are only kidding themselves.

So again, I guess I misinterpreted the interest in the philosophical concepts associated with taoism with an interest in taoism itself.

>>1987

Religion is about comfort and denial of death I think. At least I didn't mention God or politics, that opens huge imaginary concepts that I have no use for, and I'll leave it there. Science isn't perfect either but it's the best we have at this time in that change is allowed as additional facts are uncovered so it evolves. Religions have a cosmology that attempts to explain what primitive minds don't or can't understand, and there are so many different ones because marketing. To me it's one of the great extortion machines of life; they get you coming into life and going out. In other words: everyone has something to sell, except me. I'm just a simple fool that knows almost everything, but you can't share that or you get into trouble. People will find something to argue about. It's very difficult to help people, you can feed them and point to the bathroom, beyond that it's an argument. But it's instinct for me so I keep trying. I'm independent always have been, I like being alone by choice. Experience has shown me that this is the best way for me to live. Thanks

>>1975

>If he renounces the world , he is undaunted. The superior person stands alone without fear and withdraws from the world with no depression. This is the proper attitude for taking extraordinary action in an extraordinary situation.

I really like this line. It seems to allude to the strength of will that most individuals are capable of, but very few ever pursue, and even fewer achieve.

>>1984

>You deleted music and free College classes and more to help people that specifically asked for what I gave. I don't do scams. I don't want to waste my time and effort. What this does is discourage help from getting to those people that asked for help. I don't think that you have decided yet if I'm good or bad, LOL

Again i do apologize for that and if you are having any issues you would like to address talk to me in the meta thread.

>>1985

Thanks anon

>>1991

That is a very good interpretation.

It touched you also, deep within your heart, it's about virtue and this is what the I Ching teaches, it's a guide to an ethical life.

What Is the I Ching?

http://www.chinafile.com/library/nyrb-china-archive/what-i-ching

This is a famous Koan:

Whatever I may be I meet him

He is no other than myself

Yet I am not he

~Dosan

>>1992

I'm sorry Boss, I promise not to hurt anyone here especially you Otosama, you are a good man and I respect what you are doing.

>>2003

>I'm sorry Boss, I promise not to hurt anyone here especially you

LOL I'm not your boss we are all just friends who can relate to each other on here is all.

>>2004

I know :) hehe

>>1935

>phimosis

What does hikki have to do with phimosis?

I have jerked off so much that my foreskin is looser than a $5 street walker.

>>2364

i physically cannot have vaginal sex even if i wanted

>>2374

What about anal sex?

>>2378

same

>>2471

>I have a stye.

I've had that before.

bad teeth…

>>2471

You can use drawing salve, but it's a pain and not free.

You can use a clean wash cloth as hot as you can stand to soften the skin and it will come out. You may need to use a sterile pin or needle or wooden tooth pick to make a hole for the infection to come out. Be careful, use a magnifying mirror.

Take care, elder hiki

>>2569

I'm not that old. It's gone now, I did just wash it a lot.

>>2568

same

i have already artificial tooth yet im in my early twenties

>>2570

I'm the elder trying to help you, if you said it was gone in your first post I wouldn't have replied.

Happy holidays

>>2574

>if you said it was gone in your first post I wouldn't have replied

Are you fucking dense? Merry Christmas.

Is it worth dropping almost 1k on one of those ergonomic office chair? I've got pretty persistent back pain and I'm worried about doing permanent damage over time.

>>2576

>Is it worth dropping almost 1k on one of those ergonomic office chair? I've got pretty persistent back pain and I'm worried about doing permanent damage over time.

No your back pain will just get worse over time.

>>2576

>deskposters

When will they ever learn? Your bed is just there, use it.

>>2575

No need to be so hostile, anon, we're all in the same boat here, we're all hikikomori. Besides that, when he put "Take care, elder hikki" he meant that he is the elder. He's a 63 year old hikki who works from home. He's a nice guy who was just trying to be helpful, and he had no way of knowing that you already fixed your problem at the time that he posted. Hope that cleared up any confusion you might have had.

>>2578

I don't have a laptop and I can't stay comfortable in bed anyway.

>>2579

This elder hikki is a good guy who is also very wise.

>>2576

Get a zafu instead. It's what monks use to meditate for hours end. You shape it into a wedge and it tilts your pelvis forward, realigning your spine.

My back pain went away ever since I started using one. It takes a little discipline to use though.

I have a pretty bad alcoholism. I don't remember the last day I didn't have any beer.

>>2914

Alcohol is a depressant and the more someone drinks the higher the chance of that effect kicking in is. Obviously varies from person to person also.

>>2857

>>2914

>>2922

Alcohol is for external use only, killing germs and such. Have a melatonin and take a nap instead, you will feel much better, sleep as much as you can to improve your health. :)

>>2931

>. Have a melatonin and take a nap instead, you will feel much better, sleep as much as you can to improve your health. :)

Thanks anon.

>>2948

Yeah me too. Everything leaves a scar. I've been making a point of trying to get some sunlight every day but I guess that's not enough.

>Social anxiety

>Depression

>OCD (I think it's what they call "Pure O OCD")

>Suicidal ideation

>Maladaptive daydreaming

>Compulsive masturbation/porn addiction/edging

>Extreme rage when I'm treated like a child or semi-retard

>Paranoia

>Lack of motivation

>Procrastination

>Self-hatred

>Emotional immaturity

>Dependency on my family

>Poor diet

>Shitty hunchback posture

>Weirdo body language (no sustained eye contact, same facial expression and inflection in my voice most of the time, difficulty faking a smile, awkward gait, not swinging my arms when I walk, etc.)

>Frequent headaches probably from staring at a computer screen all day

>Increasingly short attention span and inability to focus

>Neoteny (I'm 30 but look 16-18 at best). I half-suspect is related to poor diet and excessive masturbation fucking with my testosterone levels, but I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, so this is likely completely pseudo-scientific.

Probably other stuff, too, but this is all that comes to mind at the moment.

>>2948

I'm usually alright (I think) but a few weeks ago I hit my hand and it still hurts. I didn't even hit it that hard, and it definitely isn't broken or fractured. I have no idea what's wrong with it, but I'm just waiting until the pain goes away.

>>2964

>>Extreme rage when I'm treated like a child or semi-retard

I also hate this, it's even worse when you know you're more intelligent than the person you're speaking to, but they still talk down to you. It makes my blood boil.

>>I'm 30

Are you a wizard?(30 year old male virgin) I'm not far off from becoming a wizard. I'm 25, and with the way my life is going, I doubt I will ever get a girlfriend. I'm not sure if I would even want to try most days. At any rate, congratulations on making it to 30. Most people in our situation give up before that age, but you should be proud to hold on as long as you have. Keep hanging on, I'm certain life will improve for us hikkis some time soon.

>>2966

>Most people in our situation give up before that age,

Not exactly true the first generation of hikikomori over in Japan from the 70s and 80s are still around and to this day are still isolated they are in their 50s and 60s now.

>>2951

>he looked at me with a really sad face almost as if he felt really bad for me

this one gets me, some (not a lot) of normals somewhat understand, or at least sympathetic, but they also realize they can do very little to help us, my parents are a lot like that, just sad all around

>>2968

I didn't know that, that's very interesting to know that elder hikkis are not just a thing unique to this board. It actually gives me a strange sense of hope for the future. The only point of reference I had up to now was /r9k/, where most of them talk about wanting to kill themselves before 30. Though I guess in reality few of them will actually go through with it.

>>2970

When i still lived with my parents my older brother did this constantly but i kinda understand it other than cooking for myself i pretty much acted like a child

>>2971

> It actually gives me a strange sense of hope for the future.

Same here honestly i could actually live as a hikikomori forever if i found some motivation in life such as self employment.

>>2974

Same. If I was financially self-sufficient, I see no reason why I couldn't enjoy living the hikki-life indefinitely.

nothing major but I noticed I've been getting more of these "pulses" or "spams" on pretty much every part of the body, some time in my eyelid causing my eyelids to twitch, sometimes my arms, sometimes my legs, stomach, ribs, even genitals sometimes, never thought much of it because it was pretty rare but now it happens many times per day. Also my vision has been getting worse and I regularly see flashing spots in my field of view. I am deteriorating already and I'm only 20.

>>3379

Are you taking any kind of drugs?? and how often do you visit the doctor??.

>>3392

not taking any drugs no, I take multi vitamins every once in a while because I only eat chicken and sausages pretty much, I go to the doctor maybe once per year

>>3399

>, I go to the doctor maybe once per year

Same here.

>>3379

This happens to me too. I think it's caused by being sedentary

>>3409

Seconded. It really helps with your self esteem too once you get a little momentum going.

>>3420

This. Anything that gets the life-force draining activities (every thing we do in day in fact) away.

>>3409

I even got one of those silly little under desk ellipticals, it's actually pretty useful and easy to do

>poison my body eating nothing but cookies and cheeseburgers

>only eat in once a day and usually eat too much

>then proceed to beat the shit out of my body doing calisthenics and lifting my free weights

i'm so sick of feeling like shit all the time but i just can't seem to break these habbits

i've been doing small shit like

>buying veggie sticks instead of chips

>hummus instead of ranch

>only drink soda once a day and only real cane sugar

eating doesn't even feel good anymore but it's just the compulsion of feeling anxious and needing to stuff myself will calories

>>4859

I know that feel. I try to make small improvements to my life and do them often enough to form good habits, but it can be difficult. I think the most difficult part about it isn't so much forming good habits as it is undoing bad ones.

I'm An hikkikomori. I have migraines and ibs as well as disorders it suck

>>4861

I find that I need to replace the habits. Like it's not realistic for me to stop snacking but i can switch to something healthier

>>4863

> Like it's not realistic for me to stop snacking but i can switch to something healthier

I've had an M&ms addiction ever since i was 11 it be hard for me to replace them with something completely different after so many years tbh.

>>4863

I try to do similar things. For instance, I've often heard that sipping water throughout the day can help stave off hunger, so I do that now and it helps a bit so I don't eat as much.

>>4864

I have trouble keeping motivated as well. I think that's common for hikkis considering we don't always have much to look forward to in this life. Sometimes it can even be difficult to motivate myself to do things I actually enjoy, like playing video games.

>>4866

>I've had an M&ms addiction ever since i was 11

Sounds a bit like my mom. I think if she were stranded on a deserted island with an endless supply of Peanut M&Ms and Dr. Pepper she would be perfectly fine.

>>4862

also get migraines frequently here, really wish I knew what set it off since I can't concentrate or have fun, only sleep it off

>>4873

>i really wish i could look into the future somehow and see a future i could be satisfied with instead of continuing to be socially withdrawn.

I know what you mean. It would be nice to have a solid indication that this life isn't just one big elaborate waste of time.

>If i was stranded on a deserted island with all of my favorite foods i would be fine and die a happy man tbh.

That doesn't sound too bad, really. I think just being removed from society's madness would make me feel better right away.

>>4879

>don't bother with gum it'll just make you hungrier if you must eat have oatmeal.

I tried chewing gum recently and you're right, it's not a big help. I'm going to try to get some oatmeal. Thanks for the tip, anon.

>>4880

> It would be nice to have a solid indication that this life isn't just one big elaborate waste of time.

Agreed.

>That doesn't sound too bad, really. I think just being removed from society's madness would make me feel better right away.

Same here

>I tried chewing gum recently and you're right, it's not a big help

I only chew gum sometimes.

i lost interest in anything sexual

>>5009

>i lost interest in anything sexual

I don't blame you tbh.

>>5009

I envy you, anon. I masturbate almost every day. I've tried to stop or at the very least slow it down, but after a short while I think "why bother?" and fall right back into it. It's not entirely bad, but my urges have distracted me from doing more productive things on more than one occasion. It would be nice to be able to put those feelings aside for a good while and get some real work done.

>>5037

> I masturbate almost every day. I've tried to stop or at the very least slow it down, but after a short while I think "why bother?" and fall right back into it. It's not entirely bad, but my urges have distracted me from doing more productive things on more than one occasion. It would be nice to be able to put those feelings aside for a good while and get some real work done.

I too have this problem i've been masturbaiting everyday since the age of 12.

>>5040

>i've been masturbaiting everyday since the age of 12.

Same here. I hit puberty at 11, and by age 12 onward I've been masturbating almost daily. I thought it would change after some time, but here I am 13 years later, still wanking all the time.

>stand up from squatting or crouching position

>blood rushes out of my head

Also haven't been to a doctor in 15 years or so.

>>5048

>Also haven't been to a doctor in 15 years or so.

I don't blame you.

>>5063

>Instantly after finishing I feel like killing myself though

Why??.

>>5064

No idea I just feel disgusted with myself afterwards

>>5059

>after i masturbate my urges go away until they return again later.

That's how it goes for me too. It can be a bit of a hassle sometimes though. For instance, I often get 'morning wood' when I wake up, and it can be hard to fight the urge to fap first thing in the morning since I'm not entirely awake yet. I bet our 12-year-old selves never imagined ending up like this.

>>5063

>>5065

For me, it depends heavily on what kind of content I fap to that day. If I fap to something like vanilla hentai, I feel no guilt. I even feel kind of good, as if it was a healthy release. On the other hand, if it's something more along the lines of extreme fetishes in 3D porn, I feel dirty and ashamed afterwards.

>>5066

> I often get 'morning wood' when I wake up, and it can be hard to fight the urge to fap first thing in the morning

Same thing happens to me.

>I bet our 12-year-old selves never imagined ending up like this.

I know right.

>>5068

>I think a lot of it stems from the fact that I'm watching people together while I'm here alone wondering where it went wrong,

I think we all do that from time to time, and it's actually a good thing in a way. By reflecting on the past, we allow ourselves the opportunity to learn from our mistakes, so as not to repeat them.

>I have you guys but it doesn't even feel like your real either. I wouldn't be surprised if everything on the web was simulated and I've been talking to a computer this whole time.

There's a term for this, but I don't remember what it is. At any rate I used to have these thoughts as well, but after seeing so many people shamelessly spout memes in real life, I had to face the fact that most of the world uses the internet, even the people who really shouldn't.

>>5075

It's kind of funny really, I used to think "if I could just look into the future and see that some things turn out alright, then I can be happy." In reality, if my younger self saw me as I am now, I probably would have committed suicide long ago to escape this life. So I guess foresight would be more of a curse than a gift.

>>5081

>Normalfags ruin memes you know a meme is dead when normalfags start quoting it in everyday life and if the meme gets talked about in movies or tv or ends up on the website know your meme

Yeah it's pretty awful. I've been on imageboards for over a decade now, and it's sad to see jokes/memes that once made me laugh get barked out by normalfags who have no idea how the joke started or what it was intended for and just want to be 'in on it.' It's ironic really, in their eternal desperation to make life fun, they actually sap the fun out of everything.

>there are too many people out there nowadays that use the internet that really shouldn't parents these days don't even monitor their kids online and that's one reason why all these edgy prepubescent elementary school kids exist now on the internet it's sickening really.

I've seen this first hand. I have a couple nephews and I've even heard them use internet memes in real life. I'm hoping that it's just a phase and that they'll stop sooner or later, I want to believe that things will change for the better someday for all of society, but I probably shouldn't get my hopes up too much.

>>5094

>I understand why he got rid of some of them, but there are boards that he deleted that weren't a problem to anyone.

Absolutely i hate that /younglove/ got deleted when it was one of the few pedo boards that didn't violate the rules posting lewd pictures on there was actually against the rules it was just a board were pedos were discussing different topics on what it's like being a pedo /nudes/ also got deleted as well probably for the same reason that /shamedsluts/ did.

>I've seen those names here and there, but I'm not sure who they are or why they're significant.

Logan Paul is the asshole who went to Japan back in January and went into the suicide forest found an actual dead person filmed the body and put it up on Youtube and Jake paul is his brother.

>I've always tried my best to improve my vocabulary, grammar, and sentence structure as best I can.

Same here.

>>5096

>Absolutely i hate that /younglove/ got deleted when it was one of the few pedo boards that didn't violate the rules posting lewd pictures on there was actually against the rules

It really seems like Jim got paranoid and deleted boards like this purely out of fear. There was actually a small board that I found a while back call /slutwife/ that was just one guy posting pictures and stories about his wife's promiscuous exploits, and Jim nuked that too. It made no sense to me because the guy had full consent from his wife to post those pictures, and the board itself was less than 200 posts in total. These past week has been one ridiculous overreaction after another.

>Logan Paul is the asshole who went to Japan back in January and went into the suicide forest found an actual dead person filmed the body and put it up on Youtube and Jake paul is his brother.

It takes a special kind of scumbag to do something like that, it's even worse that they got popular for it. Japan's Suicide Forest has never been a secret, so I can't imagine why two brainless reprobates filming a body was seen to be shocking enough to gain popularity. The average person's fascination with morbidity is something that never fails to upset me.

>>5097

>No one likes to be left out of a joke but once everyone is in on it, it just stops being funny. Doubly so when people miss use it or don't fully understand said joke but feel the need to spew it anyway to fit in.

Yeah that is the big problem with normalfags, they want to be in on every joke. Rather than picking a few of the most popular ones, or even making their own, they choose to constantly consume, devour, and finally corrupt every enjoyable joke, meme, or hobby they can find.

>I'd say the second it reaches sites like Know Your Meme its officially dead. Kinda sad really.

Pretty much. Also, for me, if I've come across sufficient evidence that a joke is in regular circulation at reddit, it's safe to assume it's dead or will be soon.

>It started when Jim deleted /heeb/ way back which while I can see why, it goes against the spirit of the site that you can discuss anything

Absolutely. There will always be some limits to what can be posted, but the discussion should never be censored, especially on websites based in countries that protect freedom of speech (at least on paper, anyway) like this one.

>>5099

>There will always be some limits to what can be posted, but the discussion should never be censored,

Agreed.

>>5124

>have you seen /b/ lately

/b/ has been utter trash since the election I have no idea what happened to it but it went from great to trash within a week

>>5126

Good point.

>>5124

>That's just stupid i feel bad for the BO of /slutwife/ that his blog board got deleted by the cuck Jim has really been abusing his power lightly.

Yeah, he really is. I know that most or all of the boards that were removed mainly dealt with pornography or pedophilia, so it wasn't a very terrible loss, but what really concerns me is how quickly Jim will shut boards down the moment he feels slightly threatened. Having a site owner with such a timid stance means that any board is subject to deletion on a whim. I had a few ideas on how to improve site quality recently, but I didn't bother taking them to /sudo/ since I know my ideas wouldn't even be considered, much less implemented. I don't have much faith in 8chan's admin these days.

>Fucking tell me about it buddy have you seen /b/ lightly?? it's starting to turn into a shell of it's former self because the pewdiepie kiddies found it and are now destroying it 8chan is dying and the only good boards left are boards like this one that haven't gone to shit.

Yeah, in any time of crisis, /b/ is always the first to go just like with 4chan. Probably because 'random' is the most accessible topic for discussion as it covers everything and anything. And as edgy as it might be to say this, this is exactly why /b/ needs gore, pedophilia, zoophilia, etc. because it keeps the normalscum out. The people who posted that content were the 'gatekeepers' so to speak. Normalfags shy away from anything that is too far out of their comfort zone, so a site that appears to be a den of psychotic perverts is sure to scare off the faint of heart. The few who didn't flee would prove to be more open to assimilating to the site's culture.

>>5126

That seems to be most places these days. It seems like not long ago most people were fairly apathetic on political matters. They didn't seem to put too much importance on those things, and it was rarely the focus of people's daily lives. This seems to be what gave certain (((merchants))) the window needed to chip away at laws and institutions they didn't like and dig their heels even further into the media. Now with the recent election, people started to see just how fucked everything is and have responded by becoming hyper-political in everything. Now every website, every imageboard and forum, every youtube channel, every tv station, every movie, all have to have some kind of political message to preach to everyone else. It's pretty exhausting at this point.

I think there's something badly wrong with the way I sleep, like I'm not having deep enough breaths, I find it harder to breath normally lying down, my memory and mind in general is degrading at such a rapid pace it's not normal even for a hikki I think. The doctor won't take me seriously enough because hurr only fat people have sleep problems like that.

>>5144

Try sleeping in the fetal position it helps me breathe

>>5140

Can confirm about the allergies I never used to have them and now I do, I've also gained a sun allergy which as you can imagine is as fun as it sounds

>>5144

Perhaps you're staying up for late at night everyday

I can assure you that having a healthy-normal sleep cycle is one of the best things that will ever happen to you especially if you're a night-person which I assume you are

So whether you would listen to my advice or not I've become better by sleeping early not totally better but at least a little bit better than before,however, I still have alot of issues breathing tbh

I've been having a extremely hard time sleeping lately I wake up almost hourly with the urge to pace or go pee. Most of the time i don't even have to go pee or only a tiny amount comes out which is really annoying.

>>5144

> I think. The doctor won't take me seriously enough because hurr only fat people have sleep problems like that.

Do doctors actually say shit like that??.

>>5159

You need to rush the blood in your penis by using some hot or cold water dependent on your body temperature if you're feeling hot then use cold water etc it always work for me

> go sit on the toilet and browse the web for a bit until i go back to sleep

I used to do that before my phone crashed and now I find it very boring to take a shit so I usually skip it and take a shit once per 4days or so

>>5162

I know this feel all too well whenever I go outside my body tend to be tired most of the time I spend walking outside,although, it is not cold here most of the year the heat is really effecting my skin and burning it because my skin has become more sensitive over the years I spent them hiding in my room

>>5163

Doctors say even more stupid things than that

>>5164

As a matter of a fact 70% of the users on 8chan these days are normals and you're right that the history is repeating itself even though I think there's a possibility that this site will be shut down eventually like hikkichan due to the traffic and attention

>>5166

> I usually skip it and take a shit once per 4 days or so

Damn man that's not good for your body especially if you hold it in for a long time that could result in some kind of an accident.

>Whenever I go outside my body tend to be tired most of the time I spend walking outside,although, it is not cold here most of the year the heat is really effecting my skin and burning it because my skin has become more sensitive over the years I spent them hiding in my room.

This is the exact same problem i have.

>Doctors say even more stupid things than that.

True.

>As a matter of a fact 70% of the users on 8chan these days are normals and you're right that the history is repeating itself.

I still think that while 8chan does have it's fair share of normalfags the problem isn't as big as 4chan has it.

>I think there's a possibility that this site will be shut down eventually like hikkichan due to the traffic and attention.

Hikkichan was a shit site and we all know the real reason why it was shut down the admin was upset that his site wasn't getting traffic anymore and i don't know if 8chan will ever shut down but i guess only time will tell tbh.

>>5164

>i get the impression that a lot of the newfags who are apart of the new generation of imageboard users actually don't understand true imageboard culture for example a lot of the newfags will unironically scream for the mods to delete a post even though /b/ is supposed to be anything goes

I've noticed this too and it always bothers me. Back in the day, users would attempt to get whatever they could past mods as a sort of game, back before 4chan was taken over by a bunch of tattling kids with a crippling fear of individual thought. I miss those days when boards allowed more freedom and mods didn't abuse power.

>personally i see history kinda repeating itself and eventually 8chan is gonna end up like 4chan although it probably won't become mainstream like 4chan did.

Agreed. The one thing that sort of works in 8chan's favor is the fact that 4chan already exists, so this place is just seen as 'slower 4chan' most of the time which will cause a lot of normalfags to get bored and leave. Even still, this place has been drastically dropping in quality over the past couple years, with the most recent incident being that Swedish attentionwhore Pewdiepie naming 8chan and directing his fanbase of children and retards here.

>>5166

>I think there's a possibility that this site will be shut down eventually like hikkichan due to the traffic and attention

I guess I could see that happening in the next few years maybe. I'm hoping that sometime soon we will either have a new place to go, or something big will happen on some other site to direct the attention of normalfags there.

>>5185

>current year 4chan

Pretty sure you could make a bot that spams threads of '*blocks your path*' 'do ameri<x>s really…' 'now that the dust has settled' '<x> BTFO' 'what was his problem?' '<x> general' with random images and you would scarcely notice any difference at all

i have had something for about 5 years now that i call 'tired face' i do not know what it is, i have been to the doctor a couple times but they just say to change my lifestyle and my diet.

basically at random times after i eat a meal, usually a sandwich or something with sugar, my face begins to heat up and all of my sinus passages get clogged. it feels like being injected with a bunch of concrete into my face. the exhaustion is overwhelming. i get dizzy and can't think straight. all i can do is lay in bed and try to sleep. the weird thing is, it affects my face the most, so the rest of my body feels 'awake' while my face is extremely fatigued. this problem ruins me for an entire day, nothing will fix it, i have tried every remedy anyone can think of. the only thing that works is lying down to sleep, but i must sleep for at least an hour, otherwise it will not go away and just be worse when i wake up.

has anyone experienced anything similar to this before? without a proper diagnosis it makes me think that this health problem is common amongst hikkis, and therefore no one knows or talks about it.

>>5185

>it's a complete shell of what it used to be and has turned into basically Reddit 2.0

True. I've never really been to Reddit, but from what I know of that place from posts here, and from what I see at 4chan now, it's safe to say that 4chan is now 'anonymous Reddit.' Unless of course you count the tripfags, in which case it's just Reddit.

>Hiroyuki has been creating and adding new boards that shouldn't even exist such as /bant/ for example.

>It's been happening ever since Hotwheels left and Jim took over in the fall of 2015.

It sucks that every time these sites are passed from one owner to the next, the new guy always makes things worse.

>>5202

Pretty much. I remember a decade ago when none of us wanted things to change, but they did change and everything got worse. Now we desperately want change, but things just stay in their awful state. Why is life always a losing battle?

>>5208

>>5209

Might be a bad reaction to wheat or soy (which is put into basically everything these days, especially fast food)

Should try eating more green veg and meats if possible in your situation, even if it's just adding it into your ramen

>>1915

>left elbow fucked up from cleaning up garden after storm

>blurry eyesight

>rotten teeth / infected gums / general bad breath

>sour back

>walking crooked

>overall weak muscles

>extremely low energie / lethargic

>losing vocabulaire quickly due to spending lots of time without saying a word

>short of breath

>high bloodpressure

>ocd (repetitive thoughts, being stuck in a thoughtloop)

>intrusive thoughts (voices telling me to harm other people)

>existential anxiety

I don't do drugs, don't smoke, don't drink and eat healthy though

>>5208

Try eating only one type of food in turns to see if it happens

eg. just potato

just tomato

just rice

sounds like your allergic to something so you'll need to narrow it down

>>5220

>Unless of course you count the tripfags, in which case it's just Reddit.

Tripfags are the worst on there it's like why the fuck do you need to stand out from everyone else on /b/?? why can't you just be anonymous like everyone else??.

>It sucks that every time these sites are passed from one owner to the next, the new guy always makes things worse.

Agreed.

>Why is life always a losing battle?.

Because it's nothing but a big cruel joke that's why.

>>5242

I had this happen to me early in my hikki days when i was only subsisting on ramen and raisins. You probably aren't eating enough good food

>>5242

>>5247

I envy you a little. I'm actually overweight and trying to lose weight.

>>5244

I've actually been eating far more than I used to which is why I'm having trouble understanding it.

>>5249

I suggest cutting out soda/junk food if your trying to lose weight, I eat far more than a regular person should and don't work out at all but I don't drink/eat soda/junk food which is probably why I'm underweight

>>1915

I have developed all the symptoms of type 2 diabetes. I lose my health insurance soon, i gotta stop procrastinating this and do something about it. There's no way I can make it to the doctors so diet is really my only option. I know I can reverse it if I just go on a keto diet. But I can't handle going to the grocery store anymore. It's too expensive to have fresh food delivered so i live off packaged shit that is full of carbs.

>I drink endless amounts of water and never stop peeing. To the point my dick burns with how much I urinate. I hardly masturbate anymore due to this.

>Lethargic. Even watching anime or playing vidya seems exhausting. Writing this is the most intense activity ive done in weeks.

>Everything past 5' is a blur.

>>5255

I think my eye-vision is going down hill and I barely able to see clearly anymore due to type two diabetes too

>>5159

I changed my sleep schedule so i'm actually asleep during the night and greatly reduced how much i jerk off and both of these things have stopped happening. I really dislike being awake during the day especially now that it is getting hotter outside but i guess this is an improvement.

>>5255

I too am fearing diabetis.

>very thirsty

>very blurry eyesight.

>extremely tired, no energy to sit or stand up, just alternating between lying on bed / couch

family health history:

- grandparents both had diabetis but died of cancer in their sixties

- mother died of cancer at 37

- uncle (mothers side) had diabetis and died of hart failure in his sixties

- another uncle (mothers side) is high function but socially never grew older than a 10 years old.

- an aunt (mothers side ) has all kinds of health issues and swallows a ton of pills a day.

- fathers side - no idea father is unknown.

basically my genes are telling me I won't live to see 70 and I will probably develop diabetis or cancer.

I have one hope and that is that the guy who raped my mother and impregnated her with me has good genes, but unfortunately he was a rapist so probably mentally fucked up.

- aunt has all kinds of thing and

>>5255

>>5256

>>5258

You guys got me really paranoid about diabetes. I looked up the symptoms and luckily I'm in the clear for now. I'm definitely going to have to get back into exercising again though.

On a separate note, a couple months ago I realized I had a nail fungus growing on my left pinky-toe nail. See, at first I thought my nail just looked bad because I would stub my toes a lot, and I assumed that the nail was just crunched from repeating impact. Turns out it was actually a fungal infection. I'm not insured, so going to a doctor is out of the question, and I usually don't share this kind of thing (or much of anything) with my parents, so I've been taking matters into my own hands. I've been trying to wash my feet whenever they get sweaty, and I change my socks regularly. I think there's actually been some improvement, and I'm hoping I can actually restore the nail to a healthy state.

>>5271

How long have you been experiencing these symptoms? Because it is possible that you're just temporarily ill. I hope you get well soon and that this is just a temporary sickness, rather than ongoing condition.

>>5275

>How long have you been experiencing these symptoms?

For about 3 years.

>It is possible that you're just temporarily ill.

I hope so.

>I hope you get well soon and that this is just a temporary sickness, rather than ongoing condition.

Thanks anon.

>>5391

could be air intake while you sleep isn't good enough

Also drink water before bed so you don't get dehydrated during the night

>>5391

Are you fat and sleeping in the fetal position? Because that can squish your lungs, leading to exactly what you've described.

If so, train yourself to sleep with your legs stretched.

Do any hikkis on here feel like they probably suffer from peter pan syndrome also known as gerascophobia??

>>1915

Definitely identify with the back pain/general pain, as I'm either in a computer chair or sitting up in bed. Namely when in bed, my back and neck hurt immensely to the point of having trouble concentrating on what I'm watching on TV.

I'm also incredibly tired/lethargic to the point where I have trouble focusing or being motivated to play video games.

>>5255

An update to this. The thirst and painful urination is gone. It's such a relief I'm having tears of joy when i urinate painlessly. The last few weeks I've eaten terribly. Pretty much just ramen and granola bars. I guess i don't have diabetes. Vision is still garbage past 5 feet. I should be able to order glasses guessing what prescription i would be.

29 y/o hikki here been a hikki/neet off and on since 10, this is my first post here.

i have abdominal pain but it only happens when im around people (usually my mother)

if it hurts really badly i end up pissing alot of blood

it only recently (last 2 years) started becoming an every day thing before that it was once every few years and lasted only a week or so

the times in the past i went to the doctor and they said it was kidney stones however no stones were ever found.

>tl;dr doctors dont know shit about it

i think its an ulcer to be honest but its only effected by being around other people food/drink doesnt effect it at all

the only thing ive found that fixes it is soda but it only stops the pain and if it hurts really badly it only dulls it and i still end up losing alot of blood

ive tried many pain killers such as acetaminophen, aspirin, Oxycontin, THC/CBD none of them ease the pain at all ive been injected with morphine at the doctors office and it doesnt even effect it. ive changed my diet many times increased water/electrolyte consumption beyond the average for my weight. stopped eating for days. the only thing that effects it is soda and its doesnt make it go away only dulls the pain.

>tl;dr pain killers/diet changes dont work only soda. need cure

>>5599

>29 y/o hikki here been a hikki/neet off and on since 10, this is my first post here.

Welcome to the board anon glad to see you here.

>I have abdominal pain but it only happens when i'm around people (usually my mother)

>If it hurts really badly i end up pissing alot of blood

Damn that sucks man.

>>5599

Wow, I never heard that before. Sounds terrible.

My health is better than ever. Improved a lot since I stopped leaving the house, and I only take extra vitamin D. My diet is good now and I exercise. Never had something crazy like that.

>>5601

> I only take extra vitamin D. My diet is good now and I exercise. Never had something crazy like that.

What kind of vitamin D do you take? do you take the vitamin D pills or gummy candies??.

>>5481

>I'm either in a computer chair or sitting up in bed. Namely when in bed, my back and neck hurt immensely to the point of having trouble concentrating on what I'm watching on TV.

This also happens to me.

>>5483

>An update to this. The thirst and painful urination is gone. It's such a relief I'm having tears of joy when i urinate painlessly. The last few weeks I've eaten terribly. Pretty much just ramen and granola bars. I guess i don't have diabetes. Vision is still garbage past 5 feet. I should be able to order glasses guessing what prescription i would be.

That's good to hear anon.

>>5602

Pills. Cholecalciferol, which is apparently vitamin D3. A doctor wanted me to take it a long time ago because of my lack of exposure to sunlight, or something. Just kept taking them once a week since then so I don't have to worry about it.

>>5603

Maybe you need a better chair. Try to get used to moving more as well. You can relieve stress if you do that, and there's no one around to judge you for looking insane, so you can do what you want. Party as hard as you want. It gives you more energy as well. I kinda want to buy a dance pad at this point.

If you need to lose weight, just stop drinking soda and eating sugar and move around more and you will lose tons of it. I still eat carbs that I wouldn't eat if I cooked for myself (if I did, I would just eat meat, vegetables, tons of eggs and a little bit of fruit… mostly avoiding recipes because that's too much effort and time), but my weight is good and I feel pretty light. Also, I only eat once a day (except for my yogurt and fruit so I can avoid constipation for sure), though lately I have been eating a shitload of almonds as well. I only drink tons of water, milk (it can be whole milk, from my tests, it doesn't actually lead to any significant increase in weight at all), coffee, and beer (it's actually more of a recent thing, but it didn't make me gain weight either, since beer apparently only increases your hunger, but I never drink it before eating). Alcohol only in the correct amount, of course. Don't build resistance to it or you will need more and more of it to get the same effect, and eventually you will be screwed, and forced to quit. Give your liver time to recover, drink the right amount, and you can enjoy it forever.

I think I mastered the healthy hikikomori lifestyle. It's pretty good, everyone should do it. Seriously, take advantage of your laziness like me. Be too lazy to eat. You will eventually realize that you only want these things because you're addicted to them, like a drug addict. Just reject them entirely.

>>5601

>Wow, I never heard that before. Sounds terrible.

i was hoping this was something somewhat common among hikkis

it is pretty bad even if i wanted to break my hikki patterns it makes it very hard to fight

>>5621

>Even the soda is a clue. Why does it help?

i haven't figured it out. i thought it was the carbonation so i drank some flat and it still helped. i thought it was the sugar (i drink real sugar soda no HFCS for me) then i made some limeade with tons of sugar no relief.. all the other ingredients are different per soda so that eliminates them being the source of my relief. all i know is it just helps the pain. thankfully the pain is quite dull most days.

>What kind of issue would improve because of that?

sometimes i think its some kind of parasite but i have no way to confirm. it just seems improbable.

>It pisses me off that a doctor would just give a bunch of generic explanations

not just one doctor, four different doctors over the course of 10 or so years. im working myself up again to leave my house and go to another doctor and see if i can explain things differently this time.

im sick of people in general doctors are no exception.

>>5646

>i haven't figured it out. i thought it was the carbonation so i drank some flat and it still helped. i thought it was the sugar (i drink real sugar soda no HFCS for me) then i made some limeade with tons of sugar no relief.. all the other ingredients are different per soda so that eliminates them being the source of my relief. all i know is it just helps the pain. thankfully the pain is quite dull most days.

Can you try carbonated water, diet soda, and club soda? You can start doing process of elimination on what ingredient is helping you. Sugar is the only thing that makes sense. Do you exert a lot of downward pressure on your abdominal region when your sitting? Maybe when your stressed your tensing up and crumpling your stomach.

>>5659

>I think i may be developing insomnia due to the fact that i've been waking up really late and staying up even later now i usually go to bed around 5 30 am 6 am somewhere around there and wake up at 4 pm but for the last month i've been going to bed at 7 am and getting up at 8 pm

That's not insomnia you're already sleeping for over than 13 hours, according to what you said, but if you encounter any problems while trying to fall asleep, try to order sleep medication.

Another option if you see a psychiatrist occasionally, then tell him that you are not able to sleep as comfortably as you used to.

I've insomnia but it's much worse than that, I stay up for days thinking about my life,my future and what will become of me.however, I've started taking sleep pills and they helped me alot to fall asleep normally.

>i also lack any motivation to do any simple task like bathing cleaning or even just walking around I'm kinda sick of life tbh.

I know how you feel anhedonia sucks and it's taking it's tool on me too, I can't enjoy anything no more, just watching youtube and TV all the day until I get bored and fall asleep.

I'm sick of life and living like that, sick of seeing all my siblings happy and successful, and sick of them looking down on me and calling me names, sick of my parents yelling at me and being disappointed because I've failed them.

Life sucks and I'm sick of it too you're not alone.

> This will probably happen to me in the future if i can't find a way to support myself while in isolation by 2020 because in 2020 my Neetbux will expire and i am kinda scared of what will happen to me in the future.

I think you've to find a work from home, you still have the time to master another languages, programming, translating etc, even though you're tired and sick to do anything you've to do it, otherwise you will wageslave which hell on earth for a shut in.

I'm so scared of the future too, if my parents died, I will lose every source of support and I don't know what I will do by then, perhaps I will end it all

>>5671

> I'm new here I posted on r9k yesterday and coincidentally, I found this board a place where I can share my feelings with people like me that sounds like heaven.

>whosoever created this board thank you

Welcome to the board and how did you get here exactly? and how long have you been a hikikomori anon?.

>>5673

> how did you get here exactly

I found the name among the trends

> and how long have you been a hikikomori anon

Almost 4 years

>>5674

>I found the name among the trends

Oh it does show up at the top of the site along with other boards sometimes but for the most part this place is pretty slow.

>Almost 4 years

11 years hikikomori here by the way i'm the board creator if you're wondering.

>>5675

>Oh it does show up at the top of the site along with other boards sometimes

True yeah

>but for the most part this place is pretty slow

I can see but that doesn't bother me at all, it looks comfy and I can interact with the people here.

It was my first time to post on Imageboard yesterday because I got sick of being a lurker for years due to the fear of being judged, I bet you understand.

>11 years hikikomori here by the way i'm the board creator if you're wondering.

W-ow how are you still alive and how do you support yourself? of course you've posted here before about all that stuff, I'll be sure to read the threads

Thanks for welcoming me

I have two noticeable cavities in my front teeth so i probably have a bunch more that i can't see. I don't want them to get any worse but i know if i buy a tooth brush or something online my parents will notice and make me go to the dentist.

>>6231

>if i buy a tooth brush or something online my parents will notice and make me go to the dentist.

You don't already have a toothbrush or toothpaste in the house?

>>6232

No, I've never brushed my teeth and both my parents use tooth brushes with stiff bristles which cause my gums to bleed

>>6231

You can just use a piece of cloth if you want to, anon. You just have to disturb the plaque formation so it doesn't settle.

I've been a hikki off and on since I was 14. During my first time as a hikki, 2 years, my voice got harder and dropped in pitch and coarse hairs sprouted from mine face. My balls sag a lot lowere now, too. I shouldnt have spent all that time masturbating

>>1939

completely forgot about that song, thanks for reminding me it existed

>>4862

>ibs

>>6691

>>Chronic diarrhea

Only two posts? I'm honestly surprised. I was expecting way more hikkis to have gut issues, since it seems that it's closely related to anxiety and depression.

I feel bad everytime I eat.

>>6730

I eat a lot of takeaways (more than is financially prudent, tbh), so I didn't think it unusual enough to mention.

>IBS

>Panic Disorder

>Depression

>No appetite

>Underweight

>No energy, always tired

>No hygiene (shower once every week, never brush teeth)

>Maladaptive daydreaming

>Always talking to self

>Suicidal tendencies

>Depersonalisation

>Feet always cold

it's all so tiresome

I have a really bony ass which, quite literally, makes my butt hurt almost all the time, regardless of how comfy the chair I'm sitting in is. The bottom part of my thighs also feel like jello and sometimes cause me discomfort after prolonged periods of sitting. Doing some squats and Turkish Get-Ups everyday helped a little when I was exercising on a regular basis for a good 3-4 months last year, but then I started experiencing rather severe ETD (Eustachian tube dysfunction). My left ear would plug up like crazy almost all the time, despite having nothing in it whatsoever. Once I stopped exercising it went away completely, even though I still sometimes experience it every now & again.

I used to suffer from having an extremely weak digestive system which led to lots of painful stomach & intestinal cramping, but taking pro-biotics everyday seems to have cleared that up and I haven't suffered from anything like that for a while.

Social anxiety

Depression/ bipolar

Chronic alcoholic

Drug abuse

Anti-social behavior

>>7091

Same guy^^forgot to mention physical stuff but i have chronic back, joint and knee pains.