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/hikki/ - Hikikomori

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A WARNING TO ALL NEW USERS IF YOU ARE NOT A HIKIKOMORI I WILL BAN YOU!! People who are going to work or school are not Hikikomori There are many people on here who can not leave their home Please choose your topic with consideration IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AT HOME INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OR MORE THEN DON'T POST HERE!

File: ee547c6a7635342⋯.jpg (85.19 KB,848x960,53:60,3f6b47553d9c2e1f765b131a5b….jpg)

31644e No.5823 [Open Thread]

sometimes I find myself having to go to the grocery store for food. It's not so bad because my local walmart is 24 hours, and has machine cashiers. I can get toiletries and most foods on amazon. how do you guys avoid going outside?

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510a73 No.5827

File: 574eadd449bb605⋯.jpg (77.98 KB,700x374,350:187,sindrome-hikimori.jpg)

>>5823

I buy food in bulk i only go to the grocery store once a month so it's not a big deal i order snacks off of Amazon. I'm pretty new to online grocery delivery but eventually i will get the hang of it.

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e07274 No.6948

Delivery for food and snacks and everything else and pay someone to take out garbage for you. For me, my maids do it usually.

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6bfd93 No.6956

Getting fresh meats and produce is kind of hard, but I have been useing shipt to get delivery from the grocery store.

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dc3677 No.6969

Amazon definitely. It's really easy for myself, most of the things I want to do I can do form the computer, so it's not too much of a struggle.

Is it just going outside or is it more needing strategies to avoid having to get stuff in person?

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a45e29 No.7026

File: 8cb8030659338ef⋯.jpg (403.54 KB,1020x1920,17:32,Snapchat-1023318515.jpg)

>>6969

OP here. I get visably anxious in public. People can tell and they give me dirty looks. They must think I'm on drugs. I just can't take it.

Nice get

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YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

2b4728 No.492 [Open Thread]

This woman was a hikikomori for 3 years and suffered from agoraphobia this video she made is pretty interesting although not sure how i feel about the advice she gives at the end tbh.

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92bbbb No.6932

>>3753

When I was in college a lot of women would mention that they were on the social work track because it was pay for by a grant, so they would get mostly a free ride. I never got the sense that any of them were naturals at it. They tended to be normies or the preachy types that liked to look like they were giving back.

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ef7245 No.6938

>>6932

Hence why many therapists these days tend to be little more than apathetic, pill pushing snakes. They aren't in the field because of some altruistic compulsion to help people (as it should be), they're in it for an easy career.

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230a55 No.6965

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Female hikkis are kinda rare. I don't remember the figure in Tamaki Saitō's book or if he gave an exact one, but I'm 90% sure he mentioned that it's usually men. There are some women, ones that aren't just staying single so they can live at home, who are hikikomori, it comes up in some documentaries. I wonder what the reason is especially given that girls are more vicious with emotional bullying, it seems like that would be an easy trigger

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48c13a No.6966

What a joke of subreddit women can't be hikki

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4cfd79 No.6968

>>6966

>subreddit

The hikikomori reddit page is cancer don't go there anon.

>Women can't be hikki

Not completely true they do exist but they just are extremely rare and if a female happens to be Neet/Hikki she isn't gonna be one for very long because women have it better than men.

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File: 13bca2d851559db⋯.png (1.37 MB,1080x1080,1:1,13b.png)

36231b No.968 [Open Thread]

I always see on hikki/ hikkineet forums people say things like "I don't know what I'm going to do when my parents/grandparents/SO/financial support dies" but I'm wondering, has anyone had their main source of support die? What DID you do? Were you forced to reintegrate? Suicide attempt? What happened?

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d816f9 No.1749

File: bf0fa84d698eb4d⋯.jpg (23.18 KB,490x278,245:139,satou tired.jpg)

>>1748

Nice there is another fellow hikki who browses this board who works from home and makes video games though recently i think he gave up on that he talked about it in the daily routine thread also that's good to know i'm pretty much online almost 24/7 and got nothing better to do and i get bored and tired very easily these days probably because i don't sleep much and i'm sure you can relate and of course eventually my current source of support will be cut off when my parents ether retire or die so working from home is a good way to make a living while still being a hikikomori after you loose your source of support ill. definitely look into this thanks anon.

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8a167c No.1750

>>1749

I can definitely relate to your position, Im open to helping the anon youre talking about, Im into C# so if that anon wants some help Im free.

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b6f01c No.1753

>>1744

I concur.

You could even set up a package mailbox so people could drop off their computers without social interaction being necessary.

Just justify it with being very busy.

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d816f9 No.1754

>>1750

>I can definitely relate to your position

I think everyone on here can relate to one another in the sense that were all hikikomori this board has only been around for 3 months and i do the best i can to keep it a small comfy board for true hikkis.

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a22607 No.6967

>>1750

I've been thinking about doing computing programming to support being hikki, too. What would you suggest? How do you have things set up, what sort of sites do you use to got work, and what sort of work would you recommend for hikkis?

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File: 6503f237a97f733⋯.jpg (2.71 MB,3072x4096,3:4,IMG_20181203_140906094_BUR….jpg)

96bc8c No.6896 [Open Thread]

Yo, is this board still alive?

How's everyone coping with the holidays and new year?

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a31b6a No.6912

>>6896

Yeah, I'm still alive. My mental state is looking a little better. I found a therapist who I sort of connect with. Out of everyone I've seen so far, he's been the best. But even he doesn't really get me completely and my symptoms are strange to him.

I finally regained some of my ability to read and write. I can more or less understand the plot of a novel if I re-read it a couple of times. So I have that going for me.

>>6903

>I lurked for a while before actually ever commenting. I think it's part of the hikki mindset.

I'll see a post, consider replying to it, then put it off for a week before actually saying anything. I did this in real life too.

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df54e8 No.6913

>>6896

i'm still alive. holidays weren't great. my mother kept pushing me to go to various things and i kept saying no. it feels really bad constantly telling someone no. i try my best to keep my situation under wraps with my parents, but i was forced to tell her that i cant go out because i'd have an anxiety attack. i managed to only have to attend 1 family event for two hours.

my big problem this year is that i lose my insurance soon. i have multiple health issues that i've been procrastinating getting fixed. i cant see past 10 feet, two of my fingers have been asleep for a month, and i haven't been to a dentist in a long time. i really dont want to go to the doctor but if i dont soon i won't be able to ever again for free.

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90c67e No.6914

>>6896

I fell for the noodles that many hikkis were chilling for in other threads.

Usually I either eat egs, chips or peas depending on the day and my mood.

I tried the meat flavored local brand. I expect to be too chemical but I liked it.

One other meal to recycle with the others.

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55faae No.6933

File: e52594fd5f33b6d⋯.jpg (83.44 KB,900x600,3:2,e52594fd5f33b6d8beb757b54f….jpg)

>>6912

I was thinking of posting something like "yeah, I usually just answer peoples' questions" days ago…

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8db07e No.6952

Holidays for me definitely aren't fun, but they're not too bad either. The silver lining of having a narcissist dad is that you are never expected to speak. My brother got married, so it was the first Thanksgiving and Christmas we had with two families together. The larger number of people made it impossible to have intimate conversations, which I appreciated. It took attention away from me too. One young man in the other family seemed to be in a constant state of dissociation; it made me curious about what was wrong with him.

I got Super Mario Odyssey for Christmas. I greatly enjoy the Balloon World game.

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File: 59c1e4af5388d29⋯.png (728.81 KB,1350x900,3:2,quazimoto.png)

7e6aff No.6702 [Open Thread]

A large issue for me is various repeating thought patterns that make me sad. I also have unhealthy habits, but I can change those with enough time (usually 6 months to a year for me to change them, such as sleeping at bad times)

My question for /hikki/, how do you change who you are a person "on the inside," I don't want to make myself miserable anymore. I have many character traits and thoughts I do not want anymore. Some are new and some are very old.

How do you guys change your thought patterns/who you are whilst not going outside and being forced into new situations.

Is it even possible?

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5d70ba No.6704

It is difficult to keep myself from repeating the problematic thought patterns. I try to keep myself distracted to ward off the effects they have on me but the core issue is still there, only subdued. I've tried, arduously to get rid of these parts of my psyche and I do not see them going away upon sheer willpower alone. Whenever I drink they're less apparent but if I were to use that as a means of change in my life, I'd become an alcoholic. I know Marjiuana helps but in that case I'd have to fork over so much cash that I simply do not posses. There's no chemical solution to something like this as a Hikki in most cases, which is one of the main differences between us and normies. Normies drown out habits/problems like this through substances we lack the means to acquire.

So it all comes down to you. I've always thought that if you repeat to yourself an ideal of who you want to be, when visualizing it enough you become that ideal. Such is not ALWAYS the case for becoming a normie when you're a Hikki but it does work on smaller things with enough concerted effort. If you want to for example stop thinking about a memory you have that was embarrassing the way to go about this would to be first, reconcile the existence of that memory by speaking about it to someone else (even in text this is helpful though I'd recommend verbalizing it to yourself whilst/after writing it). Through anonymity you'll be able to get this off your chest with virtually no repercussions. The second step in this equation is more tricky. It's learning the ability to appreciate what is happening now vs. then. It's unlikely that the mistake will be made again. The way I internalize this is by telling myself "I accept whatever has happened because in the end it made who I am now and I'm proud of that". That seems like a massive undertaking ideologically for many a' self loathing hikki but hear me out here.

If you can find pride in something about yourself, anything even if that pride is facilitated by putting down others you're on a decent track to some form of confidence. From here one must continually repeat those positive attributes to oneself until you BELIEVE that you're good in some way. And trust me when I say this, believing it sincerely in your heart is extremely important. If you can make a positive image of yourself then it will be ePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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cdf5d5 No.6705

I've found that the music I listen to affects my thought patterns. I've stopped listening to music with certain themes, and it's helped across time.

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cb79dd No.6713

File: 43fd79881061adc⋯.jpg (72.82 KB,680x680,1:1,43f.jpg)

I always have to stop myself from unnecessarily repeating or remodeling sentences in my mind. Don't know why. Also somehow my grasp on reality loosened. Often when I'm overthinking I check what I have thought about 12 years ago or so. Back then, I was far more neutral down-to-earth guy, now it's like loosing oneself like a crazy conspiracy theorist in stupid conclusions. My point of view gets so bonkers, that I literally think wtf of myself. That's far too ridiculous and over-the-top to be real.

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dabf76 No.6714

>>6702

Make a list of the things you don't like, and the things you like. Do a small amount each day to reduce the former and increase the latter. Sticking to it's the hard part, but you'll get something done, at least, however small, and that'll add up over time.

Example, I ate too much takeaways, and they were expensive. I bought a freezer - because I'm sure you can relate, shops aren't really open in the early AM, so whenever my sleep pattern coincides with the outside world, I stock up - and made batches of curries instead. The next step for me, is learning to make bread.

>>6713

>Often when I'm overthinking I check what I have thought about 12 years ago or so. Back then, I was far more neutral down-to-earth guy, now it's like loosing oneself like a crazy conspiracy theorist in stupid conclusions.

I'm like this, and my elder brother was this x100 until he finally lost it. It just means you have a conscience, and you want the ideal consequences for your actions.

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8e5a67 No.6923

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

Basically you confront your rationalizations for why you're acting or thinking as you are which you don't like. Then considering why you were rationalizing it in the first place.

For example, I used to think my sleep schedule was set by my poor attention to time management and lack of interest in being awake during the day. I tried (while I wouldn't recommend it) sleeping pills to force the behavior change. I discovered that the real reason was not my rationalizations that I had come up with. When I slept at night I would need to have access to the common areas of my house at the same time as my co-habitants and that would cause conflicts that changing sleeping times avoided and actually was facilitating a less disharmonious relations: if I ate when people were settling into bed, showered when people were asleep and woke up when everyone else was at work.

Steps

1. Try to write down why you think you do the things you don't like. It doesn't have to elaborate just enough that it helps you become conscious of what you think might be causing the behaviors or thoughts.

2. Now that you think you know why you're doing what you don't like, consciously try anything different. It doesn't have to work. Basically you are testing weather you rationalization is correct.

3. If you were right about the rationalization, then great your done. Else, return to step 1 and repeat the process adding what you learned form the last time you did step 2.

Some times this can be done by talking to a professional, but writing it down can work just as well. If you have gnu emcas you can use the doctor program; it's the same idea.

At least for me writing stuff down, even if I never look at it again, gets it out of my head. It's like a reverb on a wire travailing around and around in my head. I'll stop my self suddenly and be right back were I was when upset or having a confrontation and it was all real again. It just keeps travailing around and around. Writing down seems to release it. The added bonus is that if I even want to infect my self again, I know here to find whPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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File: 3e17f674d86dcf8⋯.jpg (94.21 KB,1024x576,16:9,Hoarding.jpg)

339e49 No.474 [Open Thread]

Thought i start a thread about hoarding seeing as how a lot of hikkis keep stuff from their past and other kinds of junk laying around what do you keep and why do you keep it /hikki/??.

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359143 No.6064

>>6062

>I save almost anything else, from imageboard images to videos I care about.

I do this as well.

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4764cb No.6120

File: 425425cd2af9412⋯.jpeg (32.89 KB,512x512,1:1,Tomato KETCHUP.jpeg)

I'm mywholife depressed. All the trash lingers. Lube packers on the floor epsecially the wet stuff you put on your sandwiches.

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80a07d No.6258

>>6120

I've been an aspiring minimalist (huehue) since I read some articles on zenhabits years ago. Problem is I have parents who literally collect napkins and ketchup packets like those. And they bought me tons of stuff for my aparment over the years. If I disposed of stuff that I don't care for or change the renovation too much they would get wounded about it. It's like my life is still their territory down to my living spaces. Point is I can't make myself let go of their precious strings-attached bullshit. Anyway my neighbour also collects drinking straws toilet paper etc, his kitchen cabinets are filled with plastic containers. Must be a boomer thing

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69decd No.6608

i've come to love collecting obscure books and other weird things. there are so many wondrous things that can't be obtained digitally. life's too short to worry about how many possessions you have

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f5ae01 No.6895

My room's mostly clean. There's always clutter on the surfaces though.

I tend to organize my "horde" so it's easier to find things when I need it. It's a habit I got from my mom.

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File: 76f5b8b26c137e1⋯.jpg (59.3 KB,372x450,62:75,mama.jpg)

489fea No.4 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

I am currently eating the one in the picture. I also eat nissin, maruchan, shin ramyun, and neogiri ramen as well. I try to conserve my stock of instant ramen, so I eat very frugally. I also cook some rice to go along with the ramen.

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98c8ab No.5465

File: ddce40b856586ea⋯.jpg (22.44 KB,580x326,290:163,06941506d74f637b0b2696f076….jpg)

>>5190

>I live out of maruchan. They are dirt cheap where I live (only 3 pesos each, a us dollar is 20 pesos, so…), and you can actually live on welfare even without disability with that (assuming you dont pay rent)

I live on top ramen and maruchan i like both but if i had to pick one i prefer top ramen because the quality is better tbh.

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8df915 No.6678

I eat cheap generic bulk-pack macncheese. I mix in cream of chicken from a can with the cheese sause and eat that. If canned chicken is on sale I mix in about 1 10oz can of that

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a375cd No.6695

File: 3f8f94c0ef065d6⋯.jpg (107.04 KB,470x370,47:37,yumyum-1.jpg)

20 cents a bag at the local exotic supermarket.

not pictured: curry flavor and special chicken

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f8b9e3 No.6786

File: 4b2c41fea67ddf3⋯.png (755.49 KB,1178x400,589:200,__hijirisawa_shonosuke_mat….png)

I got EBT the other day and went grocery shopping for myself, as un-hikki-like as it is and bought a ton of instant ramens.

First one I had was sesame chicken rice ramen, the noodle didn't taste like anything even after adding soy sauce and hot sauce to save it. Broth was still good though. I don't know if I want to fall for the healthy brand meme again.

Yesterday I had one of those BLAZING HOT SPICY WITH SHRIMP ones, don't recall if they have a brand but you see them in bodegas and gas stations often. I've had this one a bunch of times, even if it's not quality stuff it's comforting.

I'll let you all know which one I'll have today when it's lunch time.

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209bee No.6894

Yeah, we only have Nissan, Maru, and Too here. But we also have all their byproducts like yakisoba also.

I actually eat for chicken nuggets and ravolis then instant ramen but I still keep a stock pile of it.

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File: da21c3999e45dd6⋯.png (359.64 KB,708x1000,177:250,4714d5c6863652c90769bc904c….png)

df08af No.6134 [Open Thread]

So right now I have the equivalent of 400 dollars. Several months ago I payed that money for a service that I never utilized so I just got a refund.

I'm thinking what I can spend it on.

I'm content with my current computer hardware so an upgrade is unnecessary.

I was thinking of buying some video game console, but I'm afraid I might lose interest (like it's usual) and stop using it.

I'm no longer super interested in anime and only watch occasionally so I don't want any waifu figures.

I want ideas anons! What would you spend the money on?

Yes, I could just save it, but I don't want to.

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87edc2 No.6768

>>6142

I own 2 ps3 first gens which I got for $60 each (make sure they have the warranty label still on otherwise they may have been reflowed and will die in a month) and once CFW'd they are a terrific. I even installed OtherOS++ which was cool I heard someone got the RSX chip drivers working. Would highly recommend. Anything 4.81 OFW and below is CFW able with a network switch and a computer although I did mine before the crack and flashed mine with a teensy++ 2.0 and 360clip.

There are plenty of sites with game rips such as nicoblog.org with plenty of Mega links

Also about all vitas being hacked please tell me more I was looking into them before.

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e2d3a6 No.6780

maybe buy some hard drive

game you always can pirate ,just save it

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b1365f No.6843

Save until you will need it

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783126 No.6852

>>6768

>Also about all vitas being hacked please tell me more I was looking into them before.

https://vita.hacks.guide/

Basically every firmware but the latest (3.69) can be softmodded now, gone are the days where if you wanted a CFW ready Vita you had to order a brand new one from japan or make doubly sure to tell the ebay seller not to update it to the latest firmware before sending it it happened a lot, and people still don't know if they did it out of sheer idiocy or just malice, expandable storage also got insanely cheap, back then the biggest you could get was a official 64GB memory card from japan with a $150 pricetag, or a 32GB one from the states for about $70 if you didn't want to import, but now you can order a $5 SD2VITA adapter from china and the biggest SD card you can afford.

If you're looking into getting a Vita i recommend you get one of the FAT models, it has a gorgeous OLED screen and the 3G port can be replaced with a SD slot, but it lacks internal storage (slim has 1GB that gets disabled once you insert a memory card in it) which means you need to get a official sony memory card in order to hack it, but that's not an issue, you can grab a 4GB one from any pawnshop for $5 and hack it, then pop your adapter+128GB memory card inside it.

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6080ca No.6856

File: e2dcda7a9d34e3b⋯.jpg (199.29 KB,680x680,1:1,185.10.jpg)

If you don't have a zojirushi/tiger/etc hot water dispenser, then get one. Once you experience the convenience of hot water available at arms reach 24/7 at the push of a button you'd wonder how you lived without it. It's probably one of the best hundred some dollars I've ever spent.

>keep teabags on your desk

instant tea

>keep bowl noodles at your desk

instant ramen

>keep paper towel roll at you desk

instant hot towels

>talking from first hand hikki experience

Make sure it's a made in Japan model. Also make sure that the one you get has a "quick temp" feature. This feature brings the water up to the set temperature without boiling it first. In normal operation the water dispensers automatically reboil the water for a minute or two every time you refill it, and then lets the water temperature slowly drop until it's reached the set temp, at which point it holds it there indefinitely. This is because the Japanese usually fill it with tap water and the auto boiling cycle acts to boil out the chlorine taste. Japan generally has excellent quality tap water but most other places don't so chances are you should probably only be drinking filtered water, which makes the boiling cycle pointless. Why you should use the quick temp feature vs just letting it automatically reboil is that, over time, the hot steam of the repeated boiling cycles ends up slowly breaking down the plastic of the steam vent. This takes a few years but eventually the plastic becomes so brittle and crumbly that small plastic chips flake off and fall into the water reservoir. Using the quick temp feature to stop reboiling prevents this plastic breakdown from happening. It also prevents mineral scaling issues that tend to arise from constantly reboiling hard water.

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File: 1ba2645e49b9871⋯.jpg (65.85 KB,728x546,4:3,lol.jpg)

b6fc18 No.2409 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

About 2 weeks ago I got diagnosed with social phobia and bipolar. Only reason I finally got diagnosed was my mom insisted she come with me to an appointment that was originally just for medication (insomnia).

At 20 years old, it doesn't change much and I wasn't surprised at all. The psychologist also said I have some characteristics of autism, which was pretty amusing.

I've been playing fortnite nonstop, how about you?

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25cfa6 No.6764

File: 598d0776fd62588⋯.jpg (10.82 KB,355x238,355:238,wojack laptop.jpg)

>>2409

Since i was a kid, i have a combination of depression, low attention span, hyperactivity, schizoid disorder, and autoflagelative disorder but in the last month ive only hit myself with a belt, i live alone so i dont have to worry about leaving big scars, but when my mom brings me food she cries if she see any scars or bruses :(

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294bf7 No.6765

>>6764

How did you aquire an autoflagellation disorder might I ask?

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25cfa6 No.6766

File: 8596c7f5612c61a⋯.jpg (64.33 KB,640x640,1:1,WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO BACK.jpg)

>>6765

As a way out, there were times when i didnt feel anything, like imagine walking from work or school (the only good part of my old life) youre not doing anything really, nor feeling anything youre just walking, that feeling of walking and being calm, thats a feeling but sometimes i didnt feel not even that, like i was watching a movie/cutscene in a vg, i knew what was going on and if you touch me i could "feel" it, but not really, the pain was the only way to pull my mind back to reallity i started playing with a cutter, i just scratch my arm with it until all the white powder was gone and my arm become a slime red mess, i pull me back here, it made feel like i was myself again and then when i poured alcohol on it…

I was free.

And since then i do it at least once a month, but when i started it was almost every day as a result i cant move my knees and toes as good as before (i hurt my legs cause the marks were always hide by my pants)

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d63374 No.6819

File: 687cc37af5484e5⋯.jpg (236.79 KB,800x814,400:407,20181212031540-1.jpg)

>>2409

Clinical depression

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5f1abe No.6886

Saging because replying to a very old post.

>>5770

>Personality disorders are not something you get diagnosed with after just an appointment or two

> It's very rare that you actually receive the Avoidant diagnosis without first getting labeled with some standard form of Social Anxiety instead.

I got the AvPD diagnosis after a single written test.

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File: 098735cf12401ef⋯.jpg (94.53 KB,487x390,487:390,2369115801_a1d80a677f_z.jpg)

4e0393 No.6438 [Open Thread]

Do you take photos from your window or in your room /Hikki/?

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f16f82 No.6727

File: a41ae4c0a1328ef⋯.jpg (3 MB,3120x4160,3:4,IMG_92423943.jpg)

Winter from my window.

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519d69 No.6728

>>6727

Looks comfy.

I like winter and snowy weathers. I would walk there for hours.

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f16f82 No.6729

>>6728

And what is your weather now, anon. Snow also or not?

P.S Sorry for my english

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3f8db0 No.6733

>>6729

Neither hot nor cold right now.

It rarely snows where I live, like a week of snow at most every 5 years.

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4b5b94 No.6776

>>6727

Im very jealous, I have not seen snow in about 10 years, not even the crappy thin snow that melts before it hits the floor

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File: 5fcd018b4cdf7ea⋯.jpg (60.38 KB,283x276,283:276,1494543675274.jpg)

b5e489 No.561 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

So this has happened to me many times before.

>Leave room for a second to go use the bathroom

>Cross paths with family member in the hallway

>Get scolded for being a failure

>Go back to room

>Mad with rage

Has this ever happened to any other hikkis before??.

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f4fecc No.2581

I don't get too much shit from my family, but that's probably because I'm legally disabled and they all rely on me for tech support.

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f4fecc No.2587

>>2194

My mum did this with my cum rags. I want to die every time I think about it.

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98e188 No.5880

>>2559

>When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but why would I? He always made me feel like shit. Between his constant anger and belittling, paired with my mom's enabling, I never stood a chance.

Change "Mom's enabling" to "Mom's participation" and that's me to a fucking tee. Reading this literally fucked me up, because it sums up my "childhood" so fucking well. I can safely say I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for them.

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16ad2f No.5888

>>2587

>having cum rags

>not shooting that shit straight into your blanket

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eea7aa No.6754

File: e4ffb49a4a20920⋯.jpg (204.07 KB,1105x1629,1105:1629,Tommy.jpg)

>>2559

This makes me realise how my dad fucked me up more than I thought

Was always very angry and demanding with me, and calling me an idiot for fucking up, certainly didn't help that I never wanted to learn to ride a bike or any of that, just wanted to play newgrounds games, which he entrenched undoubtedly

then he just became kind of distant - silently judging me, as he still does, just taking a very passive role in things, doesn't really try to do much to help me. Last I honestly recall was he told me that "you're not the only person in the world with problems you know that" (unprovoked, I hadn't said a word to him or anyone for weeks) and I don't think he's spoken to me since

my upbringing was probably better than 90% of this board, but still here so what's it fucking matter at the end of the day

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File: deb478518ce086b⋯.gif (2.63 MB,500x281,500:281,satou drugs.gif)

98d4e4 No.687 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

Board Admin here anyway i'm gonna bend the rules a little bit here in this thread you guys can talk about drugs and drug usage but Rule 6. still applies.

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4cae68 No.4015

>>3988

research chemicals

anyone who takes them is basically a guinea pig

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5e89b3 No.5980

I dream of getting pentobarbital to come down off of speeds with. People say it is lush

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d91c7b No.5999

I like staying up sometimes on armodafinil. It doesnt get you high, really. But you feel as awake as if you just got up for an extra 12 hours so if you do art or something you can stay up.

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c235c7 No.6739

File: e01adaf3eba432c⋯.jpg (1.13 MB,3200x2000,8:5,1529023967788.jpg)

broke down crying over family dinner, and now after a bit of talking mummy ordered a dr. appointment to get me on meds tomorrow

any of you got advice on stuff I should/should not take, I feel like this is a slippery slope desu

UK if it means anything

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a9c5ab No.6751

>>6739

>any of you got advice on stuff I should/should not take

Doesn't matter, but be sure to not take anything for years / for life. Drugs should serve only temporarily.

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File: 3f5a65cde72a831⋯.jpg (90.09 KB,634x846,317:423,cat.jpg)

fb4410 No.6663 [Open Thread]

>be me going to aldi for groceries

>see woman I was at mental hospital with

>try to hide

>she sees me anyways

>tries to talk to me

>nope.opus

>skedaddle out of there

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fb4410 No.6667

>>6665

that's always a rough one

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a61254 No.6692

>>6665

happened to me too.

had to climb from balcony to balcony on the second floor to get back inside

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7029fa No.6706

>>6692

Spider-hikki

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6805f0 No.6707

>>6692

>>6706

Reminds me of the anon that used to climb out of his window and back up for snacks in order to avoid people.

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9bff0d No.6716

>>6674

My original key was damaged and this was the occasion that it finally stopped working. I called the letting's agency, and had them drop off the only spare key. While I waited outside, some kids (this is in a really bad part of town, cheap though) kicked a puddle of water at me and ran off.

>>6692

That sounds great, if a little bit dangerous.

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File: d3af1de52732c70⋯.jpg (109.59 KB,907x907,1:1,xgreek-mythology-dionysus.….jpg)

d70557 No.6416 [Open Thread]

What do you think the point of no return is for us?

How long do we need to be in our rooms for it to be too late to rejoin society when our family dies? I can see no other path other than getting neetbuxs, if that's even possible for me. Otherwise being homeless is my destiny.

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be4a29 No.6482

I'd kill myself before trying to return to normal life, and couldn't be a homeless because I don't have any confidence to steal or beg.

My plan b, where I don't kill myself, is going to the south (in my country) and just try to live off the nature in a remote forest, I mean like an hermit. I shared this idea with a psychologist once but she told me it's "schizophrenic" to live alone like that.

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e853b8 No.6487

>>6482

>I'd kill myself before trying to return to normal life, and couldn't be a homeless because I don't have any confidence to steal or beg.

I basically am the same way anon.

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8007b0 No.6490

>>6482

>My plan b, where I don't kill myself, is going to the south (in my country) and just try to live off the nature in a remote forest, I mean like an hermit.

I've fantasized about that too, when I was still back in school (though I was ostracized even back then). Hermit life always looked so peaceful. Just you by yourself, no disturbances, sitting by a pond and watching the beauty of nature, maybe with a wooden cane or something and a cozy little cabin in the woods with a fireplace. I'd have a dog, maybe, and we'd go hiking together everyday.

I actually started thinking up plans, but there was the problem of just finding enough food to eat and having to hunt things, survive the winter when the animals are hibernating and the plants don't grow, and then there's things I'd need like medicine if I get an infection, and bullets to hunt with, I could never get that from nature. There are some pretty big animals out there too, and I'd probably get mauled by a bear or something if I tried it, especially if I was carrying fresh hunted game.

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36ee2d No.6671

>>6418

>Probably everything past late 20s.

>>6426

>Problem is that our situation is very long and incredibly hard process to recover from and that there is really no reason to escape from it outside of being forced to.

>When you have your basic needs taken care of, why would you care about mindlessly working or rejoining the cesspool of society?

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36ee2d No.6672

>>6671

That said, I believe in a deterministic view of the hikikomori life: the "hikikomori personality" is in the DNA; sooner or later in your life you will become a hikikomori.

In this respect, the point of no return is when you are born.

There is no real social environment where such a personality would do well. I've had a pretty good childhood and now I'm a recluse anyway.

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File: 05604783f3f4410⋯.jpg (55.87 KB,222x277,222:277,0e0896867cc719ea18ed43f7cb….jpg)

0620f4 No.6497 [Open Thread]

Sometimes I randomly get nostalgia for times as close as a few months ago, sometimes for years ago. 2016 was a really comfy time for me.

What time do you have nostalgia for?

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18f173 No.6578

File: b7d28d633ffe928⋯.jpg (1.59 MB,2864x3877,2864:3877,Armor_of_Henry_II,_King_of….jpg)

>>6571

Good response, but anime is the true miracle here. You don't seem to have a full appreciation of nature's greatest accomplishment.

>Its in an empathy borne of much suffering on my part

I know how it is to feel too much empathy for your own good, to the point that it becomes self-destructive. I kinda had to learn to control how much of it I feel, and only apply it to people that I think I could actually like, but not everyone on the planet. Originally I tried to suppress it completely and avoid those feelings entirely, but that doesn't work either. You can't just not feel anything, that's not healthy either. Now I try to avoid feeling it more than I should depending on the situation. I feel it here, but I won't necessarily feel it somewhere else on the internet. Not that I have mastered this, of course. Sometimes I still mess up.

>>6574

I'm cool with your views, I don't care about debating these things anymore because it's clearly a waste of time (it was useful before I got to where I am now, but this seems to be the end of the line). But I don't believe that Jesus actually existed, not the one that Christians actually believe in, though there were many similar people all over the planet. So, in a way, there was no Jesus, but there was also a bunch of Jesuses (also some inverted evil Jesuses). Socrates was a Jesus. It's generic to say this, but Buddha was also a Jesus. Every single Jesus in history would hate Christianity (even some Christian versions of Jesus). A lot of people embodied that sort of archetype, and none of them were too fond of religion in general. Everything valuable about Christianity (and Judaism itself, and of course, there is very little of it) either comes from ancient religions (a lot of it looks like it came from the Sumerians, and that part of it is pretty neat) or isn't exclusive to it at all, to the point that it was everywhere from the beginning.

It has nice and interesting stuff, but it's an even worse version of Judaism that isn't even tied to race, iPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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12ad43 No.6581

>>6574

>>6578

Your perspectives are interesting. There's a christian sect out west in the US that has a more richly developed concept of matter, dark matter, intelligence as a property of matter, the importance of thought and free agency to put thought to action, and doesn't think that more than a handful of people in all of time have made it into hell (so no fearmongering to control). I've been reading about them and chatted with their missionaries online and they seem very respectful of my beliefs.

I wonder if it's possible with the access we have to so many religious traditions and sources of light and knowledge that someone could get it all right. Or at least, right enough.

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127d31 No.6586

File: c7397dc537f8354⋯.gif (3.81 MB,720x404,180:101,thumbs_up_knight.gif)

>>6578

>You can believe the craziest shit imaginable and I can be fine with that as long as it's interesting and constructive, and even better if I have never heard it before.

It might surprise you, but I feel more or less the same way. I only take umbrage at beliefs that are dedicated to erasing culture and destroying civilization; reducing men to animals. Judaism is the single greatest example of such that I'm aware of, and I do everything I can to dispel the illusions that keep it alive and in power.

For example, I know that by "Judaism" you're referring to the ancient religion of the Jews, but Judaism was actually created in 70 AD by the Pharisees (who currently call themselves "Rabbinic Jews", "Orthodox Jews", "Atheist Jews", and whatever other labels they can disguise themselves with). Judaism and its practitioners had nothing to do with Jews except as infiltrators and adversaries, such as when they tried to murder/usurp Moses and convert the Jews to worship of Baal.

If you're interested (or if you'd just like to be able to convince random Christians that Israel is not, in fact, their greatest ally), I recommend Michael A. Hoffman's book "Judaism's Strange Gods". I think /zundel/'s MEGA backup has a PDF of it, and I have a copy of that stored somewhere (although it's not the revised and expanded edition which includes more information, e.g. an overview of Moshe de Leon's Pa.R.De.S. system). It's an excellent detailed analysis of the Babylonian Talmud; the only flaw is that for whatever reason, Hoffman is unable to think of Adolf Hitler as anything but a villain.

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18f173 No.6587

File: 76850db356aaaa4⋯.jpg (80.5 KB,600x451,600:451,3e420bab977241e7cdf256971c….jpg)

File: 446054341dd8424⋯.jpg (233.34 KB,1600x791,1600:791,White-dog-1.jpg)

>>6581

>I wonder if it's possible with the access we have to so many religious traditions and sources of light and knowledge that someone could get it all right. Or at least, right enough.

I don't feel the need for something like that. Only the masses do. No real need for a rigid system to commit to.

>>6586

>I only take umbrage at beliefs that are dedicated to erasing culture and destroying civilization; reducing men to animals.

That's pretty much my view. Creative chaos is probably my general preference, and I hate destruction and would rather avoid it, that's basically what I like. I don't care enough about the details of who was who, because that doesn't change who exactly I despise. I am aware that the Jews actually rewrote some of their history and intentionally destroyed important records in the past, and maybe that's related to way you say. Hell, I'm pretty sure that it's basically factual that they were never enslaved by the Egyptians (since the Egyptians themselves never recorded that), and that's a pretty foundational story in their history. I did read about that a long time ago. I don't remember the details, but I know enough to be able to assume that a lot of their supposed history was completely designed for their convenience just like the Soviets made up so much about the NatSocs. And of course, sometimes one groups steals another group's name or identity, that does happen. The Byzantines considered themselves Romans. I say that's ludicrous and they were just larping. Romans were not Christians.

A lot of history can just be assumed to be possibly fake anyway, since liars and propagandists (people in the media and in education are propagandists, and a some of these people will presumably be the ones to write the official history of the 21st century) have always existed, and we can see today that there is a huge amount of them and people in the future will probably be wrong about our own current history as well, just like people today have a completely fucked up view of ancient history because of thPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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de400f No.6597

I have nostalgia for when I was married. My wives were really sweet and accepting. It helps that I wasn't a hikki when I met either of them. I was failing my way through junior college with the first and then I lyed my way into the second. Shiz was tight. Stayed at home while they worked and had sex when they came home. after the second failure I retreated into my head and have been home for a long time.

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