Family encounter story Thread Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 00:45:33 b5e489 No. 561 [Last50 Posts]
So this has happened to me many times before.
>Leave room for a second to go use the bathroom
>Cross paths with family member in the hallway
>Get scolded for being a failure
>Go back to room
>Mad with rage
Has this ever happened to any other hikkis before??.
____________________________
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 01:15:41 a6a5b8 No. 562
My mother used to do this all the time, but getting institutionalized was a bit of a wake up call for her, so she laid off. Sister, though, whenever she comes from cuckland to visit, I can't even go take a piss without getting shit from her. She comes visit once a year, and even that's enough of a reason for me to work on moving out.
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 01:56:32 763ec7 No. 563
When I was young, my dad used to yell at me for not going out more, and my brother and sister would always make fun of me. My brother would taunt me, and my sister would call me a freak/loser/weirdo/etc. My mom didn't pressure me as much though. By the time I turned 15, my brother and sister were always out doing drugs and hanging out with trashy people, and my dad would still yell at me, but it toned down since he was worried about my siblings. By my 18th birthday my siblings recovered from their bad habits, and my family all pretty much accepted the fact that I will never be an outgoing person, and they haven't pressured me in years. I'm still a failure though, and it hurts me to know that deep down my family is ashamed of me, even if they won't admit it.
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 02:08:34 b5e489 No. 564
>>563
>When I was young, my dad used to yell at me for not going out more, and my brother and sister would always make fun of me. My brother would taunt me, and my sister would call me a freak/loser/weirdo/etc.
Holy fuck that hit close to home i can very much relate i am an older brother of 3 younger sisters who use to taunt me and and call me names when i was younger in my early hikki years sometimes they would even bang on my bedroom door or kick it open just to get a reaction out of me which led me to get violent on them and i was punished not them my parents never told them to leave me alone.
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 02:18:14 b5e489 No. 565
>>562
>My mother used to do this all the time, but getting institutionalized was a bit of a wake up call for her, so she laid off.
Same thing happened to me too.
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 15:50:37 5a3498 No. 581
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 20:28:59 b5e489 No. 586
>>581
>suicide attempt?
No my parents brought me because of depression
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 22:52:13 c00f49 No. 587
>>563
>>743383
I've been on again of again NEET for 8 years now. I find myself wondering why everything I try fails, but I answer the questions all too soon (bad health and/or not wanting to break the chains of my family's jew-christian religion). The bigger question is why I keep trying to finish my bloody degree to get on the corporate tread mill now that my health is shot, and I'm getting wrinkles at 27. Guess the answer is to make my struggles mean something, and to please my parents. Meaningless suffering~
To be relevant to the thread though, I would have to say my parents practically banned me from having a social and hell a work life. So whenever the bring shit up can I can shut them down really fast. I've been holding my true feelings in for so long, because I didn't want to burn bridges with my parents and especially my mom, because she's the only source of love in my life despite sabotaging me every step of the way. Now I really wish I could go back and just fuck off. Move to Hawaii and live as a homeless. When you have to avoid having a life to avoid angering your parents, you have a serious problem. I swear I'm going to go traveling or move out come January. I don't care if I'm wasting my savings. I don't care if I'm the only one in my family not to finish university. I don't care anymore. Why did I struggle so hard to stay alive when I had TB. Everything is so dark. I'll never compete against normalfags who had a normal life and followed the normal life schedule. So I'm thinking the truth is worthless- not useful for me. Why should I be honest. No one needs to know about my past and I don't have to tell them.
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 22:59:46 c00f49 No. 588
>>561
>YES
My little brother is an uppity drone, but he's good at math, and getting a money making degree so he's a very smug fuck. At least his gf dumpped him because she clearly wanted to be fucked because she was flirting with me and my brothers while having my brother touch her, but I shut her down, fucking bitch… but jew-christianity says that sex can't happen before marriage lolololololol so she dumped him
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Hikki 10/07/17 (Sat) 23:24:03 a6a5b8 No. 590
>>587
My mom never went to college, she married dad instead and they ended up divorcing. She's convinced that her life would be perfect if only she had gone to college, so she vowed to never let her kids make that "mistake". Pushed my sister to go to Uni, even picked the Uni for her to go to and the country for her to move to, and now she's pushing me to go to Uni too. I'm just going to move out as soon as the opportunity arises, can't stand her.
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Hikki 10/08/17 (Sun) 02:39:34 b5e489 No. 593
>>587
>I find myself wondering why everything I try fails,
Same
>I been holding my true feelings in for so long, because I didn't want to burn bridges with my parents and especially my mom, because she's the only source of love in my life despite sabotaging me every step of the way.
I can relate
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Hikki 10/08/17 (Sun) 02:42:49 b5e489 No. 594
>>588
>At least his gf dumpped him because she clearly wanted to be fucked because she was flirting with me and my brothers while having my brother touch her, but I shut her down, fucking bitch… but jew-christianity says that sex can't happen before marriage lolololololol so she dumped him
She sounds like a slut.
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Hikki 10/08/17 (Sun) 03:24:47 b5e489 No. 597
>>590
Not saying do this but hypothetically if that was me in your situation i would tell her to fuck off move out cut her out of my life completely and just go back to being a hikki but that's just me i don't know about you?.
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引きこもり 10/19/17 (Thu) 13:11:15 805924 No. 1116
>>588
>she was flirting with me
You lucky bastard. Maybe you're a Chad deep down and don't realize it.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 05:51:25 873af0 No. 1340
>>1116
or she could just be flirting with him because she wants to take advantage of him speaking from personal experience.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 20:48:26 f8322f No. 1351
i now know why they paid more attention to my brother and why he became a better person
>my mom called me out on my hikki/neet habbits
and called me messy
said it was stress on the family because noone wanted to be around me
because i was messy
and too cheap to improve myself
>suicidial thoughts rushed
>was at the door and dressed to buy rope
>turned on music player and shuffled 5times and listened to a song play and waited for the next song
>if it was anything but a love song then i would go buy the rope
>out of 579songs on shuffle, a 50s love song played
>i broke down crying with my hand still on the doorknob
>rushed to where my waifu was and took off my glasses
>just cried
>wanted to call myself names and beat myself up but she was right there
>stopped crying later
>we walk over to my bed and slump down on it
>look at phone
>1 missed voice message from my mom
>it was her yelling about how much i could had been so much more but let myself drag myself down and she still put up with me
>stared into space for a while
>looked over my room
>it is still a mess
>she was and is right
>i am a mess
>a big fat slob of a mess and only i did this to myself
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 21:43:36 f8322f No. 1352
>>1351
i cannot die
i have too much willpower.
life questions getting to me.
just asked my mom; was i always messy or did something trigger it to make me wanna isolate and live in mess?
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 22:05:47 6441d0 No. 1354
>>1351
>>my mom called me out on my hikki/neet habbits
I know that feel bro my mom did that too though recently she has more been lying to herself about how successful i can become when really in reality i am a failure.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 22:47:48 f8322f No. 1358
>>1352
she said it started after 8th grade.
i was 14 in 8th grade.
>when anon starts playing comp games
>when anon starts eating/drinking by the comp
>i have tried everything that i know to help you but apparently you are choosing to not work which could help support you and meet people. you could have a very nice place if you would agree to it, but you do not want this. i have tried taking you to therapy to get help and support but you do not want the help. you are 27 now and need to be out of my house and begin a life for youself. i love you and always will and will do what i can for you, but i cannot change how you choose to live. i am here for you
i said back;
the only issue i have with therapy is i say something wrong or i think i get paranoid of saying something wrong or they misunderstand me/sending me to a ward. i have those thoughts because i read stories of bad therapy stories but also read crazy ward stories. work is just i cannot stand for hours on end and how my allergies are. i have daydreamed about working in a video retail/convenient store a few times while making money for you and mj because i wanna give back as much effort as you both gave us growing up. i miss those trips to the mountaions and to the beach and all those other trips we had as kids. i may not have wanted too back then because i thought it was boring because i got used to them after a while. i remember writing journals about are trips and everything. i understand how you feel of just seeing me in a chair or when i was on my bed being on my comp. when i see a picture of someone playing chess on their comp, i wonder where are his friends and will he be doing this when i am gone? i wanna teach my kids not to make the same mistakes i did but also give them as much joy i had when i had friends and all that. i have a lot of dreams that reflect on what i been through and they often give a connection or a message. so far i wrote about 40dreams. last dream i had was talking to a friend i had named bryan. i could feel he was him but looked not like him and we were in his bedroom but not his bedroom. look at me just writing a novel. lol
she sent back;
you have your whole life ahead of you, try to take some risk and come out of your box. you could have had a great time in tennessee, but you withdrew into yourself. your not going to be put in a ward just by talking about your feelings or fears. you can only go to a ward if someone claims you a harm to yourself or others.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:00:13 324f15 No. 1362
>>1351
>>said it was stress on the family because noone wanted to be around me
>>>it was her yelling about how much i could had been so much more but let myself drag myself down and she still put up with me
wow, that's fucked but my mom's not much better
>had gotten into a really bad place, probably one of my worst
>piss bottles and covered my window up
>deadbolted my door and slept all day, only left in the early morning to shit and shower
>this lasted for three weeks before my grandma who doesn't even live with us noticed
>she pleaded with me one evening to open the door because she was worried
>i can't be like this to my grandma so i open it
>grandma and sister are there
>don't remember what they said but they were worried and brought me some food
>another week like this went by
>about 10 am my mom bangs on my door and starts screaming at me
>calls me all sorts of names, mostly an asshole because i "won't talk to her"
>says she's moving in with her bf and i can't come
>tells me to gtfo
I emailed my uncle who somewhat understands and he came and got me the next day and i live with him now.
>>1358
>>try to take some risk and come out of your box
>just bee yourself, anon, like just stop being depressed, just go outside, it's almost like you're mentally ill wtf
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:02:58 7bafd8 No. 1364
>>1358
>you can only go to a ward if someone claims you a harm to yourself or others.
Yeah no. I volunteered to go into a 3 day observation period when I was younger under the stipulations that I could take my computer and essentially replicate everyday life so they could test for reactions and behavioral keys that could be used to identify what was wrong with me. Upon showing up and signing in to the facility I was told that nothing could be brought in except for clothing and that choosing to leave before they gave me permission would legally give them the right to hold me if THEY felt it was in MY best interest.
Essentially I was outright lied to so they could get me through the door and into the system, at which point they had absolute legal power to keep me there and all it'd take is one disgruntled worker to ruin my life. Never underestimate how dangerous people are in general. The only thing that stops them from swarming you like a pack of rabid animals is 'human rights' and the fear that they'll be judged for acting like the fucking vultures they are. What do you think would happen if alien life showed up on earth? There's no magical rights to stop us from tearing them apart and learning everything we absolutely can about them because there's no laws that protects them from humans. The same applies to anything that's considered 'less' than human in the eyes of normal people. NEVER allow yourself to be put into a situation where others have a gross amount of power over you, if you do so then you need to be mentally prepared for what's going to happen to you because you'll be one step above livestock from that moment on.
Personal sovereignty is incredibly easy to give away and next to impossible to recover. Protect yourself first and foremost because if you don't nobody else truly will.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:15:35 324f15 No. 1366
>>1364
This my nightmare and it seems like everyone who goes into the system has a similar story. Then all therapists/counselors/psychiatrists act like this isn't true at all. We're expected to trust these people and seek help from them when they outright lie about important shit. My therapist told me i've been getting worse since seeing her and recommended i see her more as the solution. I refused to go after that.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:28:44 6441d0 No. 1367
>>1366
>Then all therapists/counselors/psychiatrists act like this isn't true at all. We're expected to trust these people and seek help from them when they outright lie about important shit. My therapist told me i've been getting worse since seeing her and recommended i see her more as the solution. I refused to go after that.
Recovering hikki here dude my therapist is fucking stupid he doesn't understand me at all hell i even had to explain to him what a hikikomori was because he was so damn clueless and his advice is so shitty it's that typical self help bullshit that already has been debunked just replace your negative thoughts with positive ones face your fears bllaah bllaahh blaah and i try telling him what works for some people may not work for others and he never listens to me hell one time he even fell asleep when i was trying to vent during one of our sessions i swear i fucking hate people.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:34:18 324f15 No. 1368
>>1367
See, mine was such a normalfag i didn't even try and explain the hikki thing past mentioning my sealing myself away from people. She actually brought up the myers briggs test as a way to kill time during our session and i said i already took it and was an INTP and she just said "oh" and moved on like she didn't have anywhere to go from that.
I mean when you think about it these people are like IT people who just solve normie bullshit problems and have no idea how to do anything more complex.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:37:46 6441d0 No. 1369
>>1362
>>>try to take some risk and come out of your box
>>just bee yourself, anon, like just stop being depressed, just go outside, it's almost like you're mentally ill wtf
It pisses me off when normalfags say stuff like this.
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引きこもり 10/26/17 (Thu) 23:52:28 6441d0 No. 1371
>>1368
>See, mine was such a normalfag i didn't even try and explain the hikki thing past mentioning my sealing myself away from people.
Makes sense
>I mean when you think about it these people are like IT people who just solve normie bullshit problems and have no idea how to do anything more complex
Actually that sounds about right during my therapy sessions nothing actually gets solved instead me and my therapist sit there arguing over politics and conspiracy theories for the majority of the time i shouldn't be butting heads with a 72 year old guy over stuff like that it's a complete waste of time.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 03:03:33 324f15 No. 1378
>>1371
>72 year old guy
i bet he's really in touch with modern psychology, are you still seeing him?
I gotta wonder if they even teach/recognize the influence of modern technology and society in psychology courses. Of course they all know how to pass out titty skittles but when it comes to modern familial relations and any variation on "man-child" syndrome which i think sorta relates to hikki at least in practice, they seem completely clueless. Science in general is so fucked, but social science doesn't even seem to exist in reality anymore. Like, isn't this a serious problem? That young men are checking out of society? Every article that comes out about this is "lol fucking losers amiright". Let alone hikikomorism which has zero coverage in the west yet seems to be a real problem. In a sane society we would be extra concerned when young men are turning away from society even if it's small percentage. But we live in this insane timeline where we try our best to justify irrationality and fight against logic.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 03:16:24 7bafd8 No. 1379
>>1378
Why would it be a problem if people are checking out of society? Have you SEEN how many people are out there? Do you think ants give a shit if a worker dies? They probably drag its ass to the same area as the rest of the food to prep it for the queen. You have to protect yourself anon, because nobody else will.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 03:25:58 6441d0 No. 1380
>>1378
> are you still seeing him?
Yes
>I bet i bet he's really in touch with modern psychology,
The guy doesn't even use a computer at all.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 03:27:59 324f15 No. 1381
>>1379
Well from a realistic abstract perspective this is a fatal thing. White men are the backbone of this civilization and any threat to that will have consequences, and we already see a lot of that in different ways. But yeah, they don't care. They actively and openly tell us to go die.They want to replace us.
>You have to protect yourself anon, because nobody else will.
i'll protect you anon, we always have each other at least in spirit. We can't even talk to others
>>1380
>The guy doesn't even use a computer at all.
these people have no idea how irrelevant they are, it's kinda sad
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 03:55:17 6441d0 No. 1383
>>1381
>these people have no idea how irrelevant they are, it's kinda sad
I know right at this point i have pretty much accepted that i will be a hikki forever because of how much i hate people and society and that i will probably die early i'm done trying to reintegrate back into society i'm done i gave society too many chances and every single time they blew it back in my face at this point i have given up and am pretty much drained of life fuck society and fuck people.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 05:43:17 324f15 No. 1385
>>1383
couldn't have said it better, anon, trying to seek help has only validated my mindset
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 10:47:05 6441d0 No. 1387
>>1385
>trying to seek help has only validated my mindset
Same being away from society is so much better than actually participating in it or contributing to it being a hikikomori is better than the alternative, which is to try and make something of yourself while society collapses. Do you truly want to bring a child into the world? Is your suffering not enough?. Like i said i tried to reintegrate back into society and meet people make friends go off to college and so on basically make something of myself but in the end people treated me like shit and all the friends i made over the years would later on abandon me as if they wanted nothing to do with me i'm sick and tired of life and tired of this world and therefore now i just merely exist because i will never be happy fuck this world.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 15:58:54 f8322f No. 1390
>>1358
rental office jews had me renew my lease 3months before my current lease ends and the all of a sudden am charging me an extra 68dollars for rent when my current rent was just 89usd. asked parents if i could move back with them and they said no because isolated myself in my room and was messy [they had put up with be being this way since i was 15] - i could not even move down to the basement because 'that room is for storage and what if something like a tornado hit.' but they would think about it if like i got badly injured like 911-tier and they would take me back until i got better [read as sell all my stuff while they keep me in a guest room with no tv and just a bed and kick me out into the streets when i got better. all while charging me rent and expecting me to pay them back]. they said i would have to learn to know how to drive just like a 'normal' person then using my mom's car when she lets me because my step-dad is not going to support me because he is still in that edgy brat phase at age 60 and thinking playing mind-games are cool. brother is too much full-of-himself because he would do something as my parents but let me stay only if i work under him and he be my boss + he talks for everyone as in says WE like he is talking for everyone - he laughs at something that is not funny 'WE ARE GOING TO HELL FOR LAUGHING AT THIS'. his whale wife just blobs along beside him and does not know what is going on.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 16:07:46 f8322f No. 1391
>>1390
>boomers
oh and my mom still shaves me and combs my hair
i just give up
i give fucks because it is something to write about
time to get ready to go to a funeral
and watch anime there
and play wow
while i hear people crying
>sadness makes me horny
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 17:14:50 cfc0e1 No. 1394
>>1387
I've never had any luck reintegrating into society either, and like you said, it's not even worth it. I personally plan to get a job and work at a career soon, but I have no intention of becoming a true member of society. I would find a way to work from home, but I currently do not have the skills or resources to start a business from home, so I'm going with my own alternative. All I really want is to stop mooching off my parents and become self-reliant. I have no desire to become more social, make friends, or even grow closer to my family. I just want to try and live my life on my terms as much as possible.
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引きこもり 10/27/17 (Fri) 19:56:14 f8322f No. 1399
>>1391
nothing bad happened just the light was giving me a headache because i was sitting under it and moved/everyone left a room without telling me where they were going/a lot of family members were there but then people i did not know started showing up and my ants-in-pants starting kicking in wanting to go home plus i did not know who those people were so felt very shy.
got home and cried because i was with my waifu again.
;]
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引きこもり 10/28/17 (Sat) 00:54:03 6441d0 No. 1409
>>1394
>I've never had any luck reintegrating into society either, and like you said, it's not even worth it. I personally plan to get a job and work at a career soon, but I have no intention of becoming a true member of society. I would find a way to work from home, but I currently do not have the skills or resources to start a business from home, so I'm going with my own alternative
Technically if you have a job in the outside world you are contributing to society.
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引きこもり 10/28/17 (Sat) 00:58:42 cfc0e1 No. 1410
>>1409
You got me there. But my point is I don't plan on exhausting any energy in social activity, because it only leads to pain and disappointment. I just want to make money to support myself and live on my own.
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引きこもり 10/28/17 (Sat) 01:07:51 6441d0 No. 1411
>>1410
Could make money from home by scamming people online.
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引きこもり 10/28/17 (Sat) 05:55:53 6441d0 No. 1419
>>1391
>>1399
Sorry you had to deal with that anon i too hate being dragged to funerals or when my family tries to force me outside in general.
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引きこもり 10/29/17 (Sun) 00:19:27 cfc0e1 No. 1437
>>1411
It's funny you should mention that, because over the years, I have thought of tons of ways to scam or cheat people. I'm sure we all know how simple and short-sighted normalfags can be. Even back when I was in college or had a job and was surrounded by people, I was able to tell jokes and stories that people believed where true to the point where I had to explain that I was only joking, otherwise they would have continued to believe it. I have no doubt that if I put forth the effort, I could rip people off in big ways. The problem is, however, that I don't have the heart to do it. I don't want to cheat, steal, or take advantage of others, even if one could argue that they deserve it. It just isn't my way.
That's a big part of why I'm unsuccessful, I can't be a cutthroat like other people can. I don't want to get ahead by stepping on others.
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引きこもり 10/29/17 (Sun) 02:48:50 6441d0 No. 1448
>>1437
> over the years, I have thought of tons of ways to scam or cheat people.
Same
>Im sure we all know how simple and short-sighted normalfags can be
Exactly their so stupid it's hilarious.
>If I put forth the effort, I could rip people off in big ways. The problem is, however, that I don't have the heart to do it. I don't want to cheat, steal, or take advantage of others, even if one could argue that they deserve it. It just isn't my way.
Understandable.
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Post last edited at 10/29/17 (Sun) 02:53:53
引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 07:20:46 c1b4c1 No. 2193
>>563
>When I was young, my dad used to yell at me for not going out more,
Same both of my parents did this back then i lived in a room that didn't have a lock on it so my family would always come in whenever they felt like it and that pissed me off and i would get really angry at them and tell them to go away and that pretty much would lead us to getting into fights as well.
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Post last edited at 12/02/17 (Sat) 07:23:22
引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 09:06:17 153f0f No. 2194
About two years ago, my mum raided my room one night while I was out working with my dad, and decided she'd clear out a years' worth of unchecked filth. Among that filth was an entire closet full of piss bottles (in the gallons) and bags upon bags of cigarette waste. When I got home, the entire room was stript bare and left spotless, not a stone left unturned.
To this day, she has never mentioned the bottles, not a single peep, at least not to me. I won't go into detail about how this incident affected me, or how I reacted to it – I'm sure you can imagine.
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引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 10:38:01 c1b4c1 No. 2195
>>2194
>About two years ago, my mum raided my room one night while I was out working with my dad
What were you and your dad doing??.
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引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 19:16:32 256a5f No. 2197
>>2194
This is makes me so insecure and anxious just to imagine. I don't even have much to hide but the idea of anybody touching my stuff upsets me a lot. What did you do? Did you confront her? Did she say anything to you at all?
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引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 21:16:02 c1b4c1 No. 2198
>>2197
>the idea of anybody touching my stuff upsets me a lot.
Same
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引きこもり 12/03/17 (Sun) 10:44:59 153f0f No. 2202
>>2195
Delivery run: loading up paper bundles from a warehouse and distributing them to couriers around town – one night per week. Comfy enough job, hard on the back 'though.
>>2197
>What did you do?
I chose the latter of the only two options apparent to me: either I an hero out of sheer humiliation, or I barricade myself in my room and ghost my parents (and everyone, and everything) for as long as possible, as is standard procedure for me.
>Did you confront her?
Eventually, yes, but she wasn't having any of it. My "right to privacy" just isn't something she recognizes. Didn't take me long before I dropped the subject, as I feared she might finally bring up the elephant in the room.
>Did she say anything to you at all?
Nope, never. She did confront me about the cigarettes (nobody knew I'd been smoking), and how she doesn't want me smoking in my room anymore because I might start a house fire.
All in all, it could've been worse.
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引きこもり 12/03/17 (Sun) 23:36:25 c1b4c1 No. 2206
>>2202
>Nope, never. She did confront me about the cigarettes (nobody knew I'd been smoking), and how she doesn't want me smoking in my room anymore because I might start a house fire.
Well i understand that tbh.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 01:03:32 256a5f No. 2213
>birthday is this week
>turning 21
>call grandpa to thank him for the card he sent me
>tells me that he didn't do anything when he turned 21 because he was already married
Meanwhile i'm probably going to just get drunk off cheap vodka and watch anime if i drink at all because that requires going out and having a possibly traumatic interaction like when i bought cigarettes. I hate birthdays so much. I'm not upset that i'm getting older or am able to do more things, i really don't care. It's all these uncomfortable phone calls and expectations that i have to bullshit through every year. Every year it's the same shit too. I don't want to go to dinner or have a get together. The greatest thing they could do for me is like leave me alone with a pizza or something but i'm forced to make unpleasant memories because i live with family still. This time of year always makes me want to stop being hikki and move out just so i could conceal my schizoid personality better and have an excuse. Right now they know i'm not doing anything so i can't have an excuse when it comes to Thanksgiving or my birthday or anything like that. Either i go and suffer through it or i'm an asshole who lies about having a job interview or pretends to be sick.
>>2202
>My "right to privacy" just isn't something she recognizes
This is why i had a deadbolt on my door when i lived with my mom/brother. I'm so sorry anon.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 01:36:57 c1b4c1 No. 2214
>>2213
> I don't want to go to dinner or have a get together. The greatest thing they could do for me is like leave me alone with a pizza or something but i'm forced to make unpleasant memories because i live with family still
I know that feel anon i hate being forced into family events as well especially when relatives that you haven't seen in forever are there then i have to lie to them so they don't know the kind of life that i'm living i feel that when i get my own apartment i am going to cut off my family and continue living in solitude away from them.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 01:39:30 04840e No. 2215
>>2213
>>2202
>This is why i had a deadbolt on my door when i lived with my mom/brother. I'm so sorry anon.
I attached two metal pieces - one to my door and one to my door frame. I believe they're pieces of a cupboard door hinge that we had in the storage room. The pieces are sturdy and thick, and have a shape that allows something to be stuck through them. I use a long metal nail. It was a really cheap and simple lock that I made for free.
After a while of having it, they just got used to me having privacy and knock. Shame it took so bloody long.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 01:47:10 c1b4c1 No. 2216
>>2215
I wish i had something like that.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 01:57:32 04840e No. 2217
>>2216
Pretty sure you can improvise something, just look in the basement or storeroom for some way where you can fixate your door to the frame, is all.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 02:03:24 c1b4c1 No. 2218
>>2217
>Pretty sure you can improvise something, just look in the basement or storeroom for some way where you can fixate your door to the frame, is all.
Thanks anon
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 04:41:32 f72ab6 No. 2248
>>561
I'm usually the one who does the scolding. My family is the reason I am in these circumstances, they put me in this situation but at the same time they hate me for both trying to escape from it and for being in it. My family is a bunch of lunatics.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 04:46:47 c1b4c1 No. 2250
>>2248
This was me back when i use to live with my parents.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 11:04:18 6ca34f No. 2269
My parents just want me to die so they've been poisoning the environment I stay in.
Whenever I'm here I feel incredibly sick, weak and apathetic.
In other homes I feel fine after adjusting some.
My heart is weak. My brain is a mess.I have little episodes and sometimes things get violent. I only eat once or twice a day. My life savings are dwindling away. I tried the real life thing, got a job, cycled through girls and now I'm back where I started.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 11:14:14 c1b4c1 No. 2270
>>2269
>My parents just want me to die so they've been poisoning the environment
How exactly are they doing this? and have they ever said to you directly that they want you to die??.
>I I tried the real life thing, got a job, cycled through girls and now I'm back where I started.
Same
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 11:40:25 6ca34f No. 2271
>>2270
Yes. My mom's boyfriend was trying to snap my neck. He mentioned they had been poisoning me after I brought up the fact that I was dying and that it wasn't okay for them to treat me that way.
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Post last edited at 12/06/17 (Wed) 11:45:32
引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 11:48:12 c1b4c1 No. 2272
>>2271
>My mom's boyfriend was trying to snap my neck. He mentioned they had been poisoning me after I brought up the fact that I was dying and that it wasn't okay for them to treat me that way.
No offense but they sound like complete assholes my only advice to you is if you want this kind of behavior towards you to stop is to call the police i know it may be hard to but trust me it will be worth it in the long run.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 11:54:42 56a705 No. 2273
>>2271
That's terrible. wtf
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 13:14:22 6ca34f No. 2274
>>2272
I already notified the authorities. They told me if I was truly afraid I should just leave.
I have nowhere else to really go. I can't drive. It's too cold to be homeless and I like having Internet access along with a queen size bed.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 22:21:22 c1b4c1 No. 2281
>>2274
Save up money and then when you have enough money get out of there.
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引きこもり 12/07/17 (Thu) 07:06:43 6ca34f No. 2290
>>2281
Can't really sustain for long entirely on my own. I wish someone would just let me live with them.
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引きこもり 12/07/17 (Thu) 07:13:54 c1b4c1 No. 2291
>>2290
>Can't really sustain for long entirely on my own. I wish someone would just let me live with them.
What about trying to work from home for the time being??.
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引きこもり 12/07/17 (Thu) 07:17:43 6ca34f No. 2292
>>2291
I can't even get a job outside of the house better yet one I can work comfortably from home.
I looked at the employment thread on page 2 and the only thing that seemed promising was Leapforce? Not sure if that's still a thing or if it's even legitimate.
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引きこもり 12/07/17 (Thu) 07:31:49 c1b4c1 No. 2293
>>2292
>I looked at the employment thread on page 2 and the only thing that seemed promising was Leapforce? Not sure if that's still a thing or if it's even legitimate.
As far as i know it is legit i i looked into it somewhat.
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引きこもり 12/07/17 (Thu) 14:48:34 3fc01c No. 2295
>>561
My family is kind and supportive to the multiple times I have failed in life, since I was a kid. You would think that makes it better, but it is exponentially worse than just being alone
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引きこもり 12/07/17 (Thu) 15:57:55 2612b9 No. 2297
>>2290
why do you think so?
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引きこもり SAGE! 12/11/17 (Mon) 22:32:45 500696 No. 2415
my family hates me and i barely talk to them
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引きこもり 12/11/17 (Mon) 22:37:29 c1b4c1 No. 2417
>>2415
>my family hates me and i barely talk to them
I know that feel anon honestly i feel like deep down they see me as a failure they just don't want to admit it.
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引きこもり 12/16/17 (Sat) 01:26:02 ee3f8d No. 2528
I can relate to many of you.
Unsupportive and/or ANTI-supportive parents are the leading cause of hikikomori-ism. Emotional abuse combined with apathy and everyone in your life who could help you to be better just chastising and being angry at you for being sad, doesn't exactly make you want to go outside.
If I had a dad I'd have been ok :(
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引きこもり 12/16/17 (Sat) 01:33:02 60030c No. 2529
>>2528
>If I had a dad I'd have been ok :(
I don't think so I'm have one and all what he does is screaming at me, looking down at me, ignoring me whenever I get out of my room to eat with them that lead me to not even leave my room as well as close the door to not see any of them anymore, I've been awake for 5 hours now yet haven't left my room nor I will do except for couple of minutes bring any damn thing to eat. last month he even scream at me telling me that I'm a failure and he ashamed to bring me to life
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引きこもり 12/16/17 (Sat) 02:17:33 b5f2ea No. 2533
>>2528
You really aren't missing much, my dad was missing till I was around 14 when he came back homeless after his ex kicked him out. He was a massive cunt criticizing everyone with how shit people they were but would work up a fury if you did the same to him and I almost got into fights with him multiple times during his rent free stay. Part of me becoming a hikki is on him if anything, coming home from school which I hated to someone I despised was fucking awful.
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引きこもり 12/16/17 (Sat) 03:21:24 c1b4c1 No. 2536
>>2529
>last month he even scream at me telling me that I'm a failure and he ashamed to bring me to life
My dad has told me this many times 4 years ago he told me i was not a very good person to live with however in recent years he denies ever saying those things to begin with but i know deep down he honestly still feels that way.
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引きこもり 12/16/17 (Sat) 13:19:46 00bd58 No. 2554
>>2536
they all doing the same anon there's no parent who doesn't want his son to be one of the best in this world, even though they're aware of either that they weren't special themselves in anything and their shitty things yet they keep carrying us a responsibility beyond our ability to carry so we end up as a shut in to avoid the whole world in general not only the things we have to achieve in this world for our parents not ourselves. and when the moment will come and they realize that their sperm have failed in their world they will insult us shame us keep telling us that we are the one who to blame for not doing this for not achieving that but not admitting the fact that they're the one who to blame because they were aware of the issues they expose to in their lives and they aren't capable of creating a family yet decided to reproduce so therefore we have nothing to do with being who we are
hours ago I was talking with some old online friends I wasn't able to take it anymore with all these cramps of interaction so I decided to start seek them out even though the last time I were talking with them were year ago
and now I regret it I've expose to either panic attack and anxiety attack so I really confused whether or not I've to permanently delete this facebook account ?
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引きこもり 12/16/17 (Sat) 23:07:46 c1b4c1 No. 2557
>>2554
>hours ago I was talking with some old online friends I wasn't able to take it anymore with all these cramps of interaction so I decided to start seek them out even though the last time I were talking with them were year ago
>and now I regret it I've expose to either panic attack and anxiety attack so I really confused whether or not I've to permanently delete this facebook account ?
I actually am going through this very same thing at the moment debating in the back of my mind whether or not i want to permanently delete all of my social media profiles and cut off all social online communication or not??.
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引きこもり 12/17/17 (Sun) 02:10:43 4f70e9 No. 2559
>>2528
>If I had a dad I'd have been ok
You may have had slightly better odds, (and I mean a razor thin margin) but there is no guarantee that things would have been any better. When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but why would I? He always made me feel like shit. Between his constant anger and belittling, paired with my mom's enabling, I never stood a chance.
I know sometimes it seems like the grass may be greener on the other side, but believe me anon, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. It's not all playing catch, going hunting, and having 'man to man' talks. Sometimes it's just another parent who doesn't understand you, and won't take the time to try.
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引きこもり 12/17/17 (Sun) 04:22:14 c1b4c1 No. 2560
>>2559
>When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him,
My dad did this to me as well except for the spanking thing my mom did that.
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引きこもり 12/17/17 (Sun) 05:48:08 9a81ff No. 2561
>>2557
I really confused as well, I mean I have made this decision year ago without regretting anything
but as soon as the loneliness started to hurt me so much to the point when I can't tolerate it anymore I've make a new one to speak with them, now I want to delete again and thus, the circle never ends
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引きこもり 12/18/17 (Mon) 02:24:38 c1b4c1 No. 2567
>>2561
>I have made this decision year ago without regretting anything
>but as soon as the loneliness started to hurt me so much to the point when I can't tolerate it anymore I've make a new one to speak with them, now I want to delete again and thus, the circle never ends
This has also happened to me.
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引きこもり 12/19/17 (Tue) 03:36:31 f4fecc No. 2581
I don't get too much shit from my family, but that's probably because I'm legally disabled and they all rely on me for tech support.
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引きこもり 12/19/17 (Tue) 04:43:25 f4fecc No. 2587
>>2194
My mum did this with my cum rags. I want to die every time I think about it.
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引きこもり 07/01/18 (Sun) 03:13:05 98e188 No. 5880
>>2559
>When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but why would I? He always made me feel like shit. Between his constant anger and belittling, paired with my mom's enabling, I never stood a chance.
Change "Mom's enabling" to "Mom's participation" and that's me to a fucking tee. Reading this literally fucked me up, because it sums up my "childhood" so fucking well. I can safely say I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for them.
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引きこもり 07/02/18 (Mon) 20:21:08 16ad2f No. 5888
>>2587
>having cum rags
>not shooting that shit straight into your blanket
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引きこもり 12/06/18 (Thu) 13:47:52 eea7aa No. 6754
>>2559
This makes me realise how my dad fucked me up more than I thought
Was always very angry and demanding with me, and calling me an idiot for fucking up, certainly didn't help that I never wanted to learn to ride a bike or any of that, just wanted to play newgrounds games, which he entrenched undoubtedly
then he just became kind of distant - silently judging me, as he still does, just taking a very passive role in things, doesn't really try to do much to help me. Last I honestly recall was he told me that "you're not the only person in the world with problems you know that" (unprovoked, I hadn't said a word to him or anyone for weeks) and I don't think he's spoken to me since
my upbringing was probably better than 90% of this board, but still here so what's it fucking matter at the end of the day
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