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/hikki/ - Hikikomori

The modern hermit
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A WARNING TO ALL NEW USERS IF YOU ARE NOT A HIKIKOMORI I WILL BAN YOU!! People who are going to work or school are not Hikikomori There are many people on here who can not leave their home Please choose your topic with consideration IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AT HOME INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OR MORE THEN DON'T POST HERE!

File: 5fcd018b4cdf7ea⋯.jpg (60.38 KB,283x276,283:276,1494543675274.jpg)

b5e489 No.561 [View All]

So this has happened to me many times before.

>Leave room for a second to go use the bathroom

>Cross paths with family member in the hallway

>Get scolded for being a failure

>Go back to room

>Mad with rage

Has this ever happened to any other hikkis before??.

37 postsand12 image repliesomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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cfc0e1 No.1410

>>1409

You got me there. But my point is I don't plan on exhausting any energy in social activity, because it only leads to pain and disappointment. I just want to make money to support myself and live on my own.

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6441d0 No.1411

>>1410

Could make money from home by scamming people online.

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6441d0 No.1419

>>1391

>>1399

Sorry you had to deal with that anon i too hate being dragged to funerals or when my family tries to force me outside in general.

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cfc0e1 No.1437

File: 6cf44babf721e3a⋯.jpg (30.89 KB,399x388,399:388,6cf44babf721e3aac2e69336bd….jpg)

>>1411

It's funny you should mention that, because over the years, I have thought of tons of ways to scam or cheat people. I'm sure we all know how simple and short-sighted normalfags can be. Even back when I was in college or had a job and was surrounded by people, I was able to tell jokes and stories that people believed where true to the point where I had to explain that I was only joking, otherwise they would have continued to believe it. I have no doubt that if I put forth the effort, I could rip people off in big ways. The problem is, however, that I don't have the heart to do it. I don't want to cheat, steal, or take advantage of others, even if one could argue that they deserve it. It just isn't my way.

That's a big part of why I'm unsuccessful, I can't be a cutthroat like other people can. I don't want to get ahead by stepping on others.

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6441d0 No.1448

>>1437

> over the years, I have thought of tons of ways to scam or cheat people.

Same

>Im sure we all know how simple and short-sighted normalfags can be

Exactly their so stupid it's hilarious.

>If I put forth the effort, I could rip people off in big ways. The problem is, however, that I don't have the heart to do it. I don't want to cheat, steal, or take advantage of others, even if one could argue that they deserve it. It just isn't my way.

Understandable.

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c1b4c1 No.2193

File: 0c6a60b6cf83e49⋯.png (519.77 KB,800x680,20:17,neet_erasou.png)

>>563

>When I was young, my dad used to yell at me for not going out more,

Same both of my parents did this back then i lived in a room that didn't have a lock on it so my family would always come in whenever they felt like it and that pissed me off and i would get really angry at them and tell them to go away and that pretty much would lead us to getting into fights as well.

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153f0f No.2194

File: 11f84e6006f019f⋯.jpg (151.7 KB,1033x798,1033:798,11f84e6006f019f02688cd8523….jpg)

About two years ago, my mum raided my room one night while I was out working with my dad, and decided she'd clear out a years' worth of unchecked filth. Among that filth was an entire closet full of piss bottles (in the gallons) and bags upon bags of cigarette waste. When I got home, the entire room was stript bare and left spotless, not a stone left unturned.

To this day, she has never mentioned the bottles, not a single peep, at least not to me. I won't go into detail about how this incident affected me, or how I reacted to it – I'm sure you can imagine.

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c1b4c1 No.2195

>>2194

>About two years ago, my mum raided my room one night while I was out working with my dad

What were you and your dad doing??.

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256a5f No.2197

>>2194

This is makes me so insecure and anxious just to imagine. I don't even have much to hide but the idea of anybody touching my stuff upsets me a lot. What did you do? Did you confront her? Did she say anything to you at all?

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c1b4c1 No.2198

>>2197

>the idea of anybody touching my stuff upsets me a lot.

Same

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153f0f No.2202

File: 2afe41ed6d57313⋯.jpg (89.24 KB,508x508,1:1,cat5647867.jpg)

>>2195

Delivery run: loading up paper bundles from a warehouse and distributing them to couriers around town – one night per week. Comfy enough job, hard on the back 'though.

>>2197

>What did you do?

I chose the latter of the only two options apparent to me: either I an hero out of sheer humiliation, or I barricade myself in my room and ghost my parents (and everyone, and everything) for as long as possible, as is standard procedure for me.

>Did you confront her?

Eventually, yes, but she wasn't having any of it. My "right to privacy" just isn't something she recognizes. Didn't take me long before I dropped the subject, as I feared she might finally bring up the elephant in the room.

>Did she say anything to you at all?

Nope, never. She did confront me about the cigarettes (nobody knew I'd been smoking), and how she doesn't want me smoking in my room anymore because I might start a house fire.

All in all, it could've been worse.

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c1b4c1 No.2206

>>2202

>Nope, never. She did confront me about the cigarettes (nobody knew I'd been smoking), and how she doesn't want me smoking in my room anymore because I might start a house fire.

Well i understand that tbh.

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256a5f No.2213

>birthday is this week

>turning 21

>call grandpa to thank him for the card he sent me

>tells me that he didn't do anything when he turned 21 because he was already married

Meanwhile i'm probably going to just get drunk off cheap vodka and watch anime if i drink at all because that requires going out and having a possibly traumatic interaction like when i bought cigarettes. I hate birthdays so much. I'm not upset that i'm getting older or am able to do more things, i really don't care. It's all these uncomfortable phone calls and expectations that i have to bullshit through every year. Every year it's the same shit too. I don't want to go to dinner or have a get together. The greatest thing they could do for me is like leave me alone with a pizza or something but i'm forced to make unpleasant memories because i live with family still. This time of year always makes me want to stop being hikki and move out just so i could conceal my schizoid personality better and have an excuse. Right now they know i'm not doing anything so i can't have an excuse when it comes to Thanksgiving or my birthday or anything like that. Either i go and suffer through it or i'm an asshole who lies about having a job interview or pretends to be sick.

>>2202

>My "right to privacy" just isn't something she recognizes

This is why i had a deadbolt on my door when i lived with my mom/brother. I'm so sorry anon.

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c1b4c1 No.2214

File: 496116bf326ac7d⋯.png (64.32 KB,405x400,81:80,2a45d790aee32b9f36d7f68a9e….png)

>>2213

> I don't want to go to dinner or have a get together. The greatest thing they could do for me is like leave me alone with a pizza or something but i'm forced to make unpleasant memories because i live with family still

I know that feel anon i hate being forced into family events as well especially when relatives that you haven't seen in forever are there then i have to lie to them so they don't know the kind of life that i'm living i feel that when i get my own apartment i am going to cut off my family and continue living in solitude away from them.

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04840e No.2215

>>2213

>>2202

>This is why i had a deadbolt on my door when i lived with my mom/brother. I'm so sorry anon.

I attached two metal pieces - one to my door and one to my door frame. I believe they're pieces of a cupboard door hinge that we had in the storage room. The pieces are sturdy and thick, and have a shape that allows something to be stuck through them. I use a long metal nail. It was a really cheap and simple lock that I made for free.

After a while of having it, they just got used to me having privacy and knock. Shame it took so bloody long.

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c1b4c1 No.2216

>>2215

I wish i had something like that.

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04840e No.2217

>>2216

Pretty sure you can improvise something, just look in the basement or storeroom for some way where you can fixate your door to the frame, is all.

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c1b4c1 No.2218

>>2217

>Pretty sure you can improvise something, just look in the basement or storeroom for some way where you can fixate your door to the frame, is all.

Thanks anon

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f72ab6 No.2248

File: cee59430362f34c⋯.jpg (161.35 KB,470x520,47:52,e673000104d245398137a6fd0d….jpg)

>>561

I'm usually the one who does the scolding. My family is the reason I am in these circumstances, they put me in this situation but at the same time they hate me for both trying to escape from it and for being in it. My family is a bunch of lunatics.

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c1b4c1 No.2250

>>2248

This was me back when i use to live with my parents.

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6ca34f No.2269

My parents just want me to die so they've been poisoning the environment I stay in.

Whenever I'm here I feel incredibly sick, weak and apathetic.

In other homes I feel fine after adjusting some.

My heart is weak. My brain is a mess.I have little episodes and sometimes things get violent. I only eat once or twice a day. My life savings are dwindling away. I tried the real life thing, got a job, cycled through girls and now I'm back where I started.

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c1b4c1 No.2270

>>2269

>My parents just want me to die so they've been poisoning the environment

How exactly are they doing this? and have they ever said to you directly that they want you to die??.

>I I tried the real life thing, got a job, cycled through girls and now I'm back where I started.

Same

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6ca34f No.2271

>>2270

Yes. My mom's boyfriend was trying to snap my neck. He mentioned they had been poisoning me after I brought up the fact that I was dying and that it wasn't okay for them to treat me that way.

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c1b4c1 No.2272

>>2271

>My mom's boyfriend was trying to snap my neck. He mentioned they had been poisoning me after I brought up the fact that I was dying and that it wasn't okay for them to treat me that way.

No offense but they sound like complete assholes my only advice to you is if you want this kind of behavior towards you to stop is to call the police i know it may be hard to but trust me it will be worth it in the long run.

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56a705 No.2273

>>2271

That's terrible. wtf

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6ca34f No.2274

>>2272

I already notified the authorities. They told me if I was truly afraid I should just leave.

I have nowhere else to really go. I can't drive. It's too cold to be homeless and I like having Internet access along with a queen size bed.

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c1b4c1 No.2281

>>2274

Save up money and then when you have enough money get out of there.

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6ca34f No.2290

>>2281

Can't really sustain for long entirely on my own. I wish someone would just let me live with them.

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c1b4c1 No.2291

>>2290

>Can't really sustain for long entirely on my own. I wish someone would just let me live with them.

What about trying to work from home for the time being??.

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6ca34f No.2292

>>2291

I can't even get a job outside of the house better yet one I can work comfortably from home.

I looked at the employment thread on page 2 and the only thing that seemed promising was Leapforce? Not sure if that's still a thing or if it's even legitimate.

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c1b4c1 No.2293

>>2292

>I looked at the employment thread on page 2 and the only thing that seemed promising was Leapforce? Not sure if that's still a thing or if it's even legitimate.

As far as i know it is legit i i looked into it somewhat.

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3fc01c No.2295

File: 3a03a62b7021ed0⋯.png (226.85 KB,730x504,365:252,7261c27c8ea0bd0687889f730d….png)

>>561

My family is kind and supportive to the multiple times I have failed in life, since I was a kid. You would think that makes it better, but it is exponentially worse than just being alone

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2612b9 No.2297

>>2290

why do you think so?

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500696 No.2415

my family hates me and i barely talk to them

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c1b4c1 No.2417

File: d0e7f5bff1e5ae7⋯.png (605.35 KB,1491x1077,497:359,1509582853963.png)

>>2415

>my family hates me and i barely talk to them

I know that feel anon honestly i feel like deep down they see me as a failure they just don't want to admit it.

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ee3f8d No.2528

File: a5b7f42d5f430b0⋯.png (715.13 KB,3000x3000,1:1,1504466645090.png)

I can relate to many of you.

Unsupportive and/or ANTI-supportive parents are the leading cause of hikikomori-ism. Emotional abuse combined with apathy and everyone in your life who could help you to be better just chastising and being angry at you for being sad, doesn't exactly make you want to go outside.

If I had a dad I'd have been ok :(

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60030c No.2529

File: 1306845b8d40be6⋯.jpg (76.17 KB,883x1200,883:1200,DApTulNXgAAV92k.jpg)

>>2528

>If I had a dad I'd have been ok :(

I don't think so I'm have one and all what he does is screaming at me, looking down at me, ignoring me whenever I get out of my room to eat with them that lead me to not even leave my room as well as close the door to not see any of them anymore, I've been awake for 5 hours now yet haven't left my room nor I will do except for couple of minutes bring any damn thing to eat. last month he even scream at me telling me that I'm a failure and he ashamed to bring me to life

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b5f2ea No.2533

File: 763fcdab2172303⋯.jpg (388.43 KB,1920x960,2:1,1386527982122.jpg)

>>2528

You really aren't missing much, my dad was missing till I was around 14 when he came back homeless after his ex kicked him out. He was a massive cunt criticizing everyone with how shit people they were but would work up a fury if you did the same to him and I almost got into fights with him multiple times during his rent free stay. Part of me becoming a hikki is on him if anything, coming home from school which I hated to someone I despised was fucking awful.

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c1b4c1 No.2536

File: b7be2a53d7b5d24⋯.jpeg (32.03 KB,512x512,1:1,b7be2a53d7b5d249fcb7e2026….jpeg)

>>2529

>last month he even scream at me telling me that I'm a failure and he ashamed to bring me to life

My dad has told me this many times 4 years ago he told me i was not a very good person to live with however in recent years he denies ever saying those things to begin with but i know deep down he honestly still feels that way.

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00bd58 No.2554

File: f82d29e0094ca86⋯.jpg (96.31 KB,900x900,1:1,photo.jpg)

>>2536

they all doing the same anon there's no parent who doesn't want his son to be one of the best in this world, even though they're aware of either that they weren't special themselves in anything and their shitty things yet they keep carrying us a responsibility beyond our ability to carry so we end up as a shut in to avoid the whole world in general not only the things we have to achieve in this world for our parents not ourselves. and when the moment will come and they realize that their sperm have failed in their world they will insult us shame us keep telling us that we are the one who to blame for not doing this for not achieving that but not admitting the fact that they're the one who to blame because they were aware of the issues they expose to in their lives and they aren't capable of creating a family yet decided to reproduce so therefore we have nothing to do with being who we are

hours ago I was talking with some old online friends I wasn't able to take it anymore with all these cramps of interaction so I decided to start seek them out even though the last time I were talking with them were year ago

and now I regret it I've expose to either panic attack and anxiety attack so I really confused whether or not I've to permanently delete this facebook account ?

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c1b4c1 No.2557

File: dfbb56af1bb06cd⋯.jpg (10.21 KB,231x218,231:218,pepe.jpg)

>>2554

>hours ago I was talking with some old online friends I wasn't able to take it anymore with all these cramps of interaction so I decided to start seek them out even though the last time I were talking with them were year ago

>and now I regret it I've expose to either panic attack and anxiety attack so I really confused whether or not I've to permanently delete this facebook account ?

I actually am going through this very same thing at the moment debating in the back of my mind whether or not i want to permanently delete all of my social media profiles and cut off all social online communication or not??.

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4f70e9 No.2559

File: a385148a47f506a⋯.jpg (23.81 KB,521x521,1:1,a385148a47f506a61d63fadaef….jpg)

>>2528

>If I had a dad I'd have been ok

You may have had slightly better odds, (and I mean a razor thin margin) but there is no guarantee that things would have been any better. When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but why would I? He always made me feel like shit. Between his constant anger and belittling, paired with my mom's enabling, I never stood a chance.

I know sometimes it seems like the grass may be greener on the other side, but believe me anon, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. It's not all playing catch, going hunting, and having 'man to man' talks. Sometimes it's just another parent who doesn't understand you, and won't take the time to try.

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c1b4c1 No.2560

>>2559

>When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him,

My dad did this to me as well except for the spanking thing my mom did that.

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9a81ff No.2561

File: 12acd4da33551d4⋯.jpg (977.93 KB,2464x1632,77:51,p22-hornyak-i-called-him-n….jpg)

>>2557

I really confused as well, I mean I have made this decision year ago without regretting anything

but as soon as the loneliness started to hurt me so much to the point when I can't tolerate it anymore I've make a new one to speak with them, now I want to delete again and thus, the circle never ends

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c1b4c1 No.2567

>>2561

>I have made this decision year ago without regretting anything

>but as soon as the loneliness started to hurt me so much to the point when I can't tolerate it anymore I've make a new one to speak with them, now I want to delete again and thus, the circle never ends

This has also happened to me.

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f4fecc No.2581

I don't get too much shit from my family, but that's probably because I'm legally disabled and they all rely on me for tech support.

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f4fecc No.2587

>>2194

My mum did this with my cum rags. I want to die every time I think about it.

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98e188 No.5880

>>2559

>When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but why would I? He always made me feel like shit. Between his constant anger and belittling, paired with my mom's enabling, I never stood a chance.

Change "Mom's enabling" to "Mom's participation" and that's me to a fucking tee. Reading this literally fucked me up, because it sums up my "childhood" so fucking well. I can safely say I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for them.

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16ad2f No.5888

>>2587

>having cum rags

>not shooting that shit straight into your blanket

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eea7aa No.6754

File: e4ffb49a4a20920⋯.jpg (204.07 KB,1105x1629,1105:1629,Tommy.jpg)

>>2559

This makes me realise how my dad fucked me up more than I thought

Was always very angry and demanding with me, and calling me an idiot for fucking up, certainly didn't help that I never wanted to learn to ride a bike or any of that, just wanted to play newgrounds games, which he entrenched undoubtedly

then he just became kind of distant - silently judging me, as he still does, just taking a very passive role in things, doesn't really try to do much to help me. Last I honestly recall was he told me that "you're not the only person in the world with problems you know that" (unprovoked, I hadn't said a word to him or anyone for weeks) and I don't think he's spoken to me since

my upbringing was probably better than 90% of this board, but still here so what's it fucking matter at the end of the day

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