/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>1411

It's funny you should mention that, because over the years, I have thought of tons of ways to scam or cheat people. I'm sure we all know how simple and short-sighted normalfags can be. Even back when I was in college or had a job and was surrounded by people, I was able to tell jokes and stories that people believed where true to the point where I had to explain that I was only joking, otherwise they would have continued to believe it. I have no doubt that if I put forth the effort, I could rip people off in big ways. The problem is, however, that I don't have the heart to do it. I don't want to cheat, steal, or take advantage of others, even if one could argue that they deserve it. It just isn't my way.

That's a big part of why I'm unsuccessful, I can't be a cutthroat like other people can. I don't want to get ahead by stepping on others.

>>563

>When I was young, my dad used to yell at me for not going out more,

Same both of my parents did this back then i lived in a room that didn't have a lock on it so my family would always come in whenever they felt like it and that pissed me off and i would get really angry at them and tell them to go away and that pretty much would lead us to getting into fights as well.

About two years ago, my mum raided my room one night while I was out working with my dad, and decided she'd clear out a years' worth of unchecked filth. Among that filth was an entire closet full of piss bottles (in the gallons) and bags upon bags of cigarette waste. When I got home, the entire room was stript bare and left spotless, not a stone left unturned.

To this day, she has never mentioned the bottles, not a single peep, at least not to me. I won't go into detail about how this incident affected me, or how I reacted to it – I'm sure you can imagine.

>>2195

Delivery run: loading up paper bundles from a warehouse and distributing them to couriers around town – one night per week. Comfy enough job, hard on the back 'though.

>>2197

>What did you do?

I chose the latter of the only two options apparent to me: either I an hero out of sheer humiliation, or I barricade myself in my room and ghost my parents (and everyone, and everything) for as long as possible, as is standard procedure for me.

>Did you confront her?

Eventually, yes, but she wasn't having any of it. My "right to privacy" just isn't something she recognizes. Didn't take me long before I dropped the subject, as I feared she might finally bring up the elephant in the room.

>Did she say anything to you at all?

Nope, never. She did confront me about the cigarettes (nobody knew I'd been smoking), and how she doesn't want me smoking in my room anymore because I might start a house fire.

All in all, it could've been worse.

>>2213

> I don't want to go to dinner or have a get together. The greatest thing they could do for me is like leave me alone with a pizza or something but i'm forced to make unpleasant memories because i live with family still

I know that feel anon i hate being forced into family events as well especially when relatives that you haven't seen in forever are there then i have to lie to them so they don't know the kind of life that i'm living i feel that when i get my own apartment i am going to cut off my family and continue living in solitude away from them.

>>561

I'm usually the one who does the scolding. My family is the reason I am in these circumstances, they put me in this situation but at the same time they hate me for both trying to escape from it and for being in it. My family is a bunch of lunatics.

>>561

My family is kind and supportive to the multiple times I have failed in life, since I was a kid. You would think that makes it better, but it is exponentially worse than just being alone

>>2415

>my family hates me and i barely talk to them

I know that feel anon honestly i feel like deep down they see me as a failure they just don't want to admit it.

I can relate to many of you.

Unsupportive and/or ANTI-supportive parents are the leading cause of hikikomori-ism. Emotional abuse combined with apathy and everyone in your life who could help you to be better just chastising and being angry at you for being sad, doesn't exactly make you want to go outside.

If I had a dad I'd have been ok :(

>>2528

>If I had a dad I'd have been ok :(

I don't think so I'm have one and all what he does is screaming at me, looking down at me, ignoring me whenever I get out of my room to eat with them that lead me to not even leave my room as well as close the door to not see any of them anymore, I've been awake for 5 hours now yet haven't left my room nor I will do except for couple of minutes bring any damn thing to eat. last month he even scream at me telling me that I'm a failure and he ashamed to bring me to life

>>2528

You really aren't missing much, my dad was missing till I was around 14 when he came back homeless after his ex kicked him out. He was a massive cunt criticizing everyone with how shit people they were but would work up a fury if you did the same to him and I almost got into fights with him multiple times during his rent free stay. Part of me becoming a hikki is on him if anything, coming home from school which I hated to someone I despised was fucking awful.

>>2529

>last month he even scream at me telling me that I'm a failure and he ashamed to bring me to life

My dad has told me this many times 4 years ago he told me i was not a very good person to live with however in recent years he denies ever saying those things to begin with but i know deep down he honestly still feels that way.

>>2536

they all doing the same anon there's no parent who doesn't want his son to be one of the best in this world, even though they're aware of either that they weren't special themselves in anything and their shitty things yet they keep carrying us a responsibility beyond our ability to carry so we end up as a shut in to avoid the whole world in general not only the things we have to achieve in this world for our parents not ourselves. and when the moment will come and they realize that their sperm have failed in their world they will insult us shame us keep telling us that we are the one who to blame for not doing this for not achieving that but not admitting the fact that they're the one who to blame because they were aware of the issues they expose to in their lives and they aren't capable of creating a family yet decided to reproduce so therefore we have nothing to do with being who we are

hours ago I was talking with some old online friends I wasn't able to take it anymore with all these cramps of interaction so I decided to start seek them out even though the last time I were talking with them were year ago

and now I regret it I've expose to either panic attack and anxiety attack so I really confused whether or not I've to permanently delete this facebook account ?

>>2554

>hours ago I was talking with some old online friends I wasn't able to take it anymore with all these cramps of interaction so I decided to start seek them out even though the last time I were talking with them were year ago

>and now I regret it I've expose to either panic attack and anxiety attack so I really confused whether or not I've to permanently delete this facebook account ?

I actually am going through this very same thing at the moment debating in the back of my mind whether or not i want to permanently delete all of my social media profiles and cut off all social online communication or not??.

>>2528

>If I had a dad I'd have been ok

You may have had slightly better odds, (and I mean a razor thin margin) but there is no guarantee that things would have been any better. When I was growing up, my dad would scream at me for anything and everything, talk to me like I'm an idiot, laugh at me for making a mistake, or spank me with a belt because he saw that as a cure-all solution. On the few occasions that he didn't do any (or all) of those, he would make me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but why would I? He always made me feel like shit. Between his constant anger and belittling, paired with my mom's enabling, I never stood a chance.

I know sometimes it seems like the grass may be greener on the other side, but believe me anon, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. It's not all playing catch, going hunting, and having 'man to man' talks. Sometimes it's just another parent who doesn't understand you, and won't take the time to try.

>>2557

I really confused as well, I mean I have made this decision year ago without regretting anything

but as soon as the loneliness started to hurt me so much to the point when I can't tolerate it anymore I've make a new one to speak with them, now I want to delete again and thus, the circle never ends

>>2559

This makes me realise how my dad fucked me up more than I thought

Was always very angry and demanding with me, and calling me an idiot for fucking up, certainly didn't help that I never wanted to learn to ride a bike or any of that, just wanted to play newgrounds games, which he entrenched undoubtedly

then he just became kind of distant - silently judging me, as he still does, just taking a very passive role in things, doesn't really try to do much to help me. Last I honestly recall was he told me that "you're not the only person in the world with problems you know that" (unprovoked, I hadn't said a word to him or anyone for weeks) and I don't think he's spoken to me since

my upbringing was probably better than 90% of this board, but still here so what's it fucking matter at the end of the day