/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>5120

I went to the doctor in 2016 for the first time since 2009 and he laughed at me for not coming in for so long I didn't understand then and I still don't can somebody explain it to me?

>>5226

>I went to the doctor in 2016 for the first time since 2009 and he laughed at me for not coming in for so long

What an asshole.

>>5226

>can somebody explain it to me?

Doctors are condescending normalfags in white coats who are paid hundreds of thousands of dollars each year to give snarky advice and write prescriptions. That's why he laughed at you, he's a self-important ass who thinks human beings can't survive without his 'divine healing.'

>>5239

This is so true.

Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), dysthymia.

>>5413

>Avoidant personality disorder

I think i may have this as well.

>>5415

It's the worst of the worst. I can't stay comfy in my room like when I was younger, now I want to be a normalfag but at the same time I don't and I can't.

I can't find peace.

So I have a couple of undiagnosed mental health disorders, I have been a neat shut-in for 8 years. How do I get disability for these? I'm in the USA so I know it's harder

>>5473

>I'm in the USA

don't bother, the process is so long and convoluted, involving shit like lawyers to argue your case and average wait time of 2 to 3 years to get your case processed that it's not worth it

nor is the amount of money your receive worth it

>>5474

Maybe ill have a good case, idk. Plan to go to the psych ward and then go homeless, hopefully itll speed things up. I cant stand living in my abusive filthy hoarder house anyways

I've been diagnosed with chronic depression, general anxiety disorder and depersonalisation/derealisation disorder. I used to take meds but i seem to be the kind of person who ends up with all the side effects.

I am autistic. That's all, as far as I know.

>>5475

>hoarder

This caught my attention. Pretty sure that living with hoarder parents must screw with your mind in all sorts of unique ways that I can't entirely imagine. Doesn't help that you probably have to be nuts to begin with to become a hoarder in the first place, and then the hoarding multiplies the insanity a couple times, so you are technically already living in an insane asylum. You can still save yourself, though. The fact that you aren't a hoarder yourself is already a good sign.

I started seeing a psychiatrist one month ago and he diagnosed me with sevre depression and social anxiety, he gave me some medication and it didn't work out for me, he's talking to my mom daily and both of them think that I'm somehow cursed and I've to go to the church more, I mean damn someone who's supposed to be a highly educated person still believing in fairy tales and he's making my life a living hell basically. I have no idea what to do anymore my mom is forcing me to leave the apartment and I tend to isolate myself even more goddamit.

>>5738

It's more common than you think, especially if his family is religious. When I first ended up in a psych hospital before going full hikki my parents thought I was possessed/influenced by the devil since I had a couple books on magic in my room

which they then tried to burn

>>5737

>>5738

>>5739

And then they expect you to want them around and enjoy their presence. They are fucking insane.

Ages come and go but humanity doesn't change. This mindset and these mass religions were only able to spread so much in the first place because people are and always will be shit, and plebs are worse than shit. Book burnings and witch hunts are human nature because it's natural for humans to be evil and destructive. Not being like them is a good thing but it also makes them difficult to tolerate. I guess you can at least use the fact that the people around you are inferior to your advantage and use that knowledge to give your own confidence a boost.

>>5742

Personally, I had to deal with a lot of superstitious insanity coming specifically from the women in my family (men never seem to do this). It was really bad as a kid. They would treat me like shit for doing something that they decided is satanic, seemingly at random since I couldn't predict it. Made me feel like shit, and I couldn't even understand why (it doesn't actually make sense, so of course I couldn't). That was one of many things that made me realize that adults were insane and incredibly dumb, and that I couldn't trust them. A big reason why I didn't interact with them very much early on. Also, I didn't naturally understand the concept of family (maybe it's the autism), and this kind of thing made me against the entire idea, at that point. Caring about irrational people that treat me like shit just because we share some DNA just didn't make sense to me.

I always disliked Christianity, though. It seems to be completely incompatible with my mind, and that makes sense, since it's a fucked up Jewish religion. Thankfully, I was lucky enough that my dick remains unmutilated and I always knew that I should wash it, unlike some smelly barbarians that don't know how water and soap work.

Basically, it's a religion for slaves, that is against any form of human development and glory, and the enjoyment of life in general. Always sounded boring, weak and unjust, to me. On the other hand, polytheism was a huge obsession of mine as a kid. I would read about that all the time, and the stories are actually meaningful regardless of how physically real they happen to be. Gods that actually represent something good don't have to be physical to be worth your time. Ancient religions have more value philosophically and actual relevance towards civilized culture as well. It's also easier to like gods when there are many of them and each represents a different aspect of reality. Most of them are flawed, but good for the most part, while a single god with limitless power and presence kinda has be evil or reality simply wouldn't make sense.

Organized religion in general is for plebs, though. Even in polytheist religions, the masses have always worshiped the lower gods (generally goddesses) and were typically superstitious assholes while the elite had more unique practices and worshiped higher gods, or maybe became initiates of a mystery religion. The best people have always had esoteric views that the majority can't grasp. The actual truths can be found in all civilized religions, so you kinda have to be an essentialist. Sectarianism, superstitious paranoia, bickering about the details, expecting one religion to have all the answers; all that nonsense is for the brainlet majority. My religious views were built using pure philosophy and contemplation (the isolation helped), and then I found out that people in antiquity discussed similar ideas, and that my views have always had a presence in the occult, and that was immensely satisfying. People with good minds don't need dogma. It's always better to read things that force you to think and build the ideas at least almost from scratch, and then see how they hold up and then improve, expand and refine them over time as you develop.

>>5742

>Your parents sound like a couple of wackjobs to be honest with you

They absolutely are

>just spent a week in a mental ward after trying to castrate myself in a dissociative psychotic state

They didn't tell me shit. They rattled off some terms and suggestive i hear voices as a way to cope with depression. That's like the only direct thing they said to me. Nobody had any answers. I'm an empty husk who is occasionally overcome with nonsensical intense emotion or lack of emotion that brings me to do dumb shit. What am i supposed to do? huh? half the time i bullshit my way through any interaction completely on auto pilot so it fucking impossible to reach out and explain anything that really fucks with me because my problem is inherently that i'm just a lifeless sack of shit who doesn't know or care about himself anymore. It used to be brain fog but not its like my life is a TV in a corner of a room that i'm not really paying attention to.

>>5750

Don't damage your body. There is no reason to, and you can't get another one. You don't want to be stuck in a broken vessel, even if you don't feel like it's the most important part of your sense of self. Even if you don't care about yourself, I do care because pointless human suffering in general bothers me a lot, since I tend to easily feel another person's pain. Your body is a reflection of your mind and spirit for the most part, so work on those aspects. Anyway, people really are disgustingly incompetent a good chunk of the time, and it's incredible how much this gets in the way. Your mind definitely needs further investigation so the issues can be described and properly diagnosed, and I am obviously not a professional (I have never even had a job in my life and I'm 25) so I can't make any factual statements, but to me it sounds like depersonalization disorder. Maybe read about it yourself, but looking for competent professional help is a more important requirement, even if it takes more than one attempt. If you think that my assumption is correct, you can definitely tell the professional that you think this is what is going on so the diagnosis process may be facilitated (my autism was diagnosed more quickly because of that, and because I had a full understanding of every symptom, since I studied the condition and my own history extensively), allowing you to get whatever resources are available as soon as possible. Do anything that is needed to be able to enjoy life again. You can improve and rebuild your mind more than you think. With your cooperation, the issue should have a solution.

>>5750

Is this your thread?

https://wizchan.org/wiz/res/140945.html

>>5753

i did read this i just dont know what to say sorry

>>5761

no i dont use wizard

>>5764

It's fine. Just try to solve your problem so you can be safe. I do think that it's possible for people to alter their own minds to some extent, so maybe you can do some of that as well.

>>5112

>>5120

Personality disorders are not something you get diagnosed with after just an appointment or two. The reason for this is that the psychologist/psychiatrist needs to see for themself that the trait(s) remains persistent over time. The diagnose cannot be based solely on the patients own words as far as I can recall.

The shortest contact I've ever heard a patient have with the healthcare system before receiving the diagnose "Avoidant Personality Disorder" was 2-3 weeks. Even if you were trying to speedrun this process, your psych professional would probably just end up trying to convince you that you have normal Social Anxiety instead. It's very rare that you actually receive the Avoidant diagnosis without first getting labeled with some standard form of Social Anxiety instead.

>>5770

It's usually over the course of several months, mine was 6 months and then an official psych exam before I got a diagnosis

I'm diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type. I don't get neetbux for it.

>>5737

Your parents are shit and you can't do anything about it, but you can change the psychiatrist, who has obviously demonstrated lacking professionalism.

>>6289

>I wonder what my chances will be like for neetbux, which I've applied for and should have an interview coming soon.

Let us know how it goes anon.

A general anxiety disorder and clinical depression. When committed, the lead psychiatrist there said she thought I was likely to have borderline personality disorder but said she wasn't comfortable diagnosing me with it.

>diagnosed schizoaffective and bi-polar

>know i have dissociative identity disorder but refuse to let anyone diagnose me with that because legitimizing it will make it real

I hate doctors/hospitals and at this point I only interact with them enough to get the meds i want

>>5737

>he's talking to my mom daily and both of them think that I'm somehow cursed and I've to go to the church more

>

Is that what he said verbatim or are you paraphrasing? If he actually thinks you're possessed by some demon then that's crazy.

I've got hysteria, consumption, and moral insanity. lol

Actually I've definitely (not neurotic about it, seen psychologists who agree) got 6 serious mental illnesses with some of them diagnosed. I love my pills. Keeps me relatively well balanced. the only untreatable one is the moral insanity :-P[|]

>>6572

>and moral insanity. lol

Moriarty? Is that you?

>>6585

I don't get the joke. :/

>>6593

Moriarty is the archnemesis of Sherlock Holmes and is the "Napoleon of crime".

>>6594

ohrite. Yeah amnesia is one of 6. Forgot he I was. I'm the real napoleon a swell

I'm kind of interested in videos of people dying. Is that moral insanity?

>>6688

It's like the most normal thing ever, people are interested in crime news.

>>6680

What version is this? Looks like a BD rip, mine was really low quality.

>>6764

How did you aquire an autoflagellation disorder might I ask?

Saging because replying to a very old post.

>>5770

>Personality disorders are not something you get diagnosed with after just an appointment or two

> It's very rare that you actually receive the Avoidant diagnosis without first getting labeled with some standard form of Social Anxiety instead.

I got the AvPD diagnosis after a single written test.