/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>965

>Deep Web??

Now a days yea but before it was a thing I would order them through encrypted email. In the early 2000s you could buy them directly from people on the web. It wasn't watched as closely and most of the things that are illegal now where still legal back then so there wasn't any fear of getting caught. You'd send them a pre-paid card and the drugs would show up in the mail 3-7 days later. This was mostly for things like MDMA, LSD, 2C-B, Ketamine, and various other analogs/chemicals. Things like mushrooms and pot I would just grow myself although I did order the spores/seeds from the web (both are legal). I would also extract various drugs from plants in my local region or get them OTC. I tried most everything between ages 15 and 28. I preferred taking them a lone. There was one substance I _really_ liked which is called MXE (Methoxetamine). It's a better version of Ketamine that causes less damage. I would consume it, go into what is called a hole, and listen to various types of music while I hallucinated. There seemed to be no downsides to it. I didn't have withdrawal, I didn't feel the need to do more, I thought it was making me a more adjusted person. I ended up using it too often and getting a bit manic so I gave away the last of it. Now it's impossible to get anywhere, I can't even get labs in China to make custom batches for me. Someone way high up decided they didn't want it begin produced anymore. It would have been our generations LSD. It was really popular for a few years and I knew it'd eventually get banned world wide. I'm honestly surprised no one has taken the chance to produce it. Everyone liked it no matter what their drug of choice was. You can read about it here if you like: https://psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Methoxetamine

I suggest staying away from it and all other drugs including anything the doctor tries to give you and alcohol. Unless you absolutely need a drug to live you shouldn't be taking it.

>>961

>Drug culture is garbage no matter what the substance. I tried to find friends among that culture and I just failed like with every other sub-culture because I simply can't stand begin around other people. Plus, I saw a lot of irresponsible shit going on when I would attend those festivals/raves

I know that feel bro back when i was in school before i was a hikki there were a lot of drug users at my school they did pot ecstasy and hell even methamphetamine too and these kids who were interested in taking drugs always took their problems out on other people who had nothing to do with them i even had to deal with them a few times myself.

I've been researching dxm recently because i got interested in the subject it seems like a good form of escapism but it obviously can be very dangerous so me personally i wouldn't do it.

>>2427

I've been doing DXM since I was 16; I am 30 now. It's a lot of fun for awhile, but after you get to the 2nd or 3rd plateau about 50 - 75 times, it ceases to work like it used to. If you ever decide to try it out, then I recommend you use the DXM-only cough pills. You are much less likely to get nauseated from them as opposed to cough syrup.

>>2477

>I've been doing DXM since I was 16; I am 30 now.

What's it like??.

>If you ever decide to try it out, then I recommend you use the DXM-only cough pills. You are much less likely to get nauseated from them as opposed to cough syrup.

I kinda figured that to be honest.

>>2479

Sometimes it's really great, like on a 3rd-plateau trip. You'll just be laying there in bed with the covers pulled up over your head; as you stare at your crumpled up linens…the ridges will transform into a mountain range complete with snow, blowing wind, trees, and animals running around. Hallucinations last from 5 to 10 seconds before they morph into a different theme. Sometimes the hallucinations are so powerful that your third-eye will open up and allow you to have extra sensory sight while your eyes are completely shut. The third-eye effect can allow you to walk around your house with a blindfold over your eyes because what you really see is the last memory imprint of your living space + extremely sharpened hearing. It takes practice, but you can walk around in complete darkness after a time.

There is so much to tell about it, but I must say that the degree in which you can hear becomes almost cat-like in terms of sharpness. I recall many times when I would lay in bed and feel my heart begin to pound as a heard a plane fly only a few feet above my house. In reality the plane was thousands of feet above me. Of course you can hear *everything*, even things you aren't supposed to hear. For example during that same trip I was still comfy in bed just listening and exploring this superhearing. Suddenly I can hear sounds from the basement (I am on the second floor) and I hear my little brother talking on the phone (muffled sounds are almost as sharp as if they were on the same floor). He was talking shit about me and joking around with his friend about what a disgusting person I am and how he hated me. Since I was dissociated, I felt nothing. However, I did make sure to confirm that it wasn't just a bad hallucination; I confronted him about it. Seeing the feelings of fear and panic in his face before he quickly feigned ignorance was all I needed in terms of confirmation. It's not like it was the first time I realized everyone despised me (you get used to it as a hikky). If anything, the experience only helped me to realize that in the end everyone you know will betray you: friends, family, and significant others alike. Everyone is your enemy and you cannot trust anybody. I came to these conclusions when I was only 5 years old, but it's the DXM that helped me to set aside all feelings, emotion, and meditate upon everything with pure logic and the mind's eye. Perhaps that disjointed rambling slightly elucidates why someone can be addicted to DXM for 14 years. Take it as you will.

Those are just some examples of the awesome things that can happen when dissociated. Dissociation separates one's self from life, emotions, and can even break down causality itself. I even believe that through many years of use…one can even hear inklings of other people's thoughts if you are within half a meter of them or so (Third-plateau or more mind you). I've only experienced it a few times though…and perhaps I shouldn't get into any mystical shit right now.

>>2519

By the way you describe it it sounds like dxm can really help you connect with your inner self.

>>2520

Supposing one (mortal coil) is made up of three entities; Mind, body, and spirit. Then, it is true that the influence of these three fluctuate over time depending on one's condition. So if you were to dissociate from the body by use of one of three dissociatives (DXM, Ketamine, PCP), then you would have greater connection with the mind and the spirit. The mind's eye can be awakened and reality can be viewed from one's truest self…without the body having any influence. Sometimes you can even experience an "out of body" phenomena–in which you see yourself leave your body and float away into a dark space (void) which exists all around us at all times. It is a very warm feeling that is more like energy than matter; an endless feeling of pure bliss.

In this way it is possible to meditate upon one's self and life. However, the effect is extremely intoxicating to the point where it will overwhelm and embrace you for a long time until you reach the "50 trip limit."

It could very well be what "death" is like after the energy inside every human abandons the mortal coil and evaporates back to the place from whence it came. Dark energy and such.

>>804

>Sometimes i find what i'm 90% sure are magic mushrooms but am too scared to take them. Has anyone done mushrooms they found in the wild?

Yes but you need to get that number to 100% before you even consider it.

My main markers for identifying liberty caps are: the top nipple, beige colour, gills (asending right into the top of the cap and dark grey/black/blue in colour), long stem, growing in grass and finally, when wet, they appear darker brown and have a clear film of sicky stuff over the top of the cap, gently and slowly split the cap to observe it. I check for all these things and would not take any mushroom which fails these tests. I find about 20 shrooms to be a good amount to take as well btw. though I have done as many as ~55, that was one hell of a trip :)

also

>>805

>Don't take them unless you know exactly what they are. You need to take a spore print, search around the internet (bluelight and shroomery are good sites for this).

>>2555

I tend to drink myself away when i get depressed.

>>2562

me too, going to hit the bottle now, don't get sad - get drunk!

>>2676

>i really like LSD and i am prescribed xanax so i am rarely 100% in reality, which is nice because if i was i'd probably kill myself

I don't blame you i honestly wish i could do drugs like DXM or LSD but mixing that shit with the medication i take could probably kill me.

>>2679

yeah i'm also considering picking up drinking.

also never thought to look up the interactions between the different drugs. probably should have

May not be the apropiate thread to ask for it but does anyone know of any legal drug, food, tea or whatever that helps with anxiety? Im going insane here, it's a deep feeling of despair, hopelesness, uncertainty and fear. I can't sleep, I can't fap, I can't watch anime, music which has always been my first tool against this isn't working anymore. I wan't to punch walls and run like never before but can't for obvious reasons.

It's not that im afraid of hard drugs or anything, it's that im completely broke and know nowhere or anyone to get them. There's 30$ in my pocket right now, thought of alcohol but it never worked in the past.

I've been taking some DXM recently. My depression seems nonexistent now, feeling good

>>3421

I've done MDMA two times in the last days and it felt goddamn good, 120mg + 2x 60mg redosing the first time and 80mg+ 1x 80mg, 1x60mg and 1x 100 mg redosing the second time.

I've been able to be a lot nicer to my parents and to people I talk to online, I could even watch strangers in the eyes and talk to them, I felt like a normal person for the first time in years, I think that this stuff should be used for medical purposes, it has a great potential imho.

Also it gave me a nice energy boost, running and doing exercise felt great, no fatigue at all.

Also I think it works as I painkiller too, I tried to punch the wall really hard more and more times and I felt no pain at all.

Ultimately I'd say that it isn't only a social drug, and imho it's the perfect drug for an hikki that wants to pass a couple hours like a normal person, I fell literally in love with this shit.

I tried LSD aswell, one 200ug blotter, but I didn't like it, definitely not my drug.

broke down crying over family dinner, and now after a bit of talking mummy ordered a dr. appointment to get me on meds tomorrow

any of you got advice on stuff I should/should not take, I feel like this is a slippery slope desu

UK if it means anything