/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>2620

you living in an islamic society then ? or you just relate of not accepting the society you live in !

>>2622

>you living in an islamic society then ? or you just relate of not accepting the society you live in !

Not accepting the society i live in.

>>2624

>I am being forced to study by my parents who, in the end, decide what I do since they have the money.

That sucks anon if you had the option would you be taking classes from home instead?? if i did i totally would.

I'm making my first attempt to reintegrate right now. I'm busy generally trying to sort my thoughts out. I've been scatterbrained for so long that I don't have a grasp on anything at all.

I've found a lot of books and am going through them, as well as trying to puzzle out the life lessons I was supposed to learn but didn't.

My plan is to go all out, and if I can't do it I'm going to kill myself. I see no point in living like this indefinitely. Hikki life is like being dead, only with suffering. It's living death. If I can't fix myself I may as well just actually be dead.

>>2628

Would you be happier living as a hikki if you had some kind of motivation in life such as working from home??.

>>2629

I'm not the hikki you are replying to but I really understand what he's saying though, I think such a thing as working from home won't be that good as well I mean as long as you feel like a corpse then what's the point from working almost 70% of us can't see a point in anything because we way too far from seeing the world from a normal vision I hope you understand, this world never meant to be for us we clearly a strangers for it since our vary beginning.

>>2630

>this world never meant to be for us we clearly a strangers for it since our vary beginning.

This is very true

>>2625

I'd pay to have someone correct my exercises and explain them to me online, all via text

>>2611

I'm forcing myself to go to university.

It went well at first, when I could just turn up once a semester, do a few exams, and leave, but now only classes with mandatory attendance are left and though I avoid them as much as I can, it's still horrible.

Especially if they try to get us to do teamwork. I recommend just looking for the laziest-looking team and doing all the work yourself so you don't have to talk with your teammates. Works fairly well as long as you can do it over mail instead of having to hash it out in person.

Word of warning though: Make sure you read through all classes and see how many mandatory attendance ones there are before you choose a major/uni. I didn't, so I'm stuck with a suboptimal amount.

Wouldn't call myself a recovering hikki though.

I'm not doing this to reintegrate back into society at all. I'm doing it because someone in my family said I never accomplished anything, and if I'm the first guy in my family with an academic title, he'll forever be technically wrong. I have no intention of joining society afterwards.

Can't wait until I can finally get back to my comfy life in solitude, tbh.

>>2636

>I'm not doing this to reintegrate back into society at all. I'm doing it because someone in my family said I never accomplished anything,

It sounds like your going to university to impress your family because one of your family members said you were a failure in a different context right??.

>I Wouldn't call myself a recovering hikki though.

>Cant wait until I can finally get back to my comfy life in solitude, tbh.

So you're just using going to university as an excuse to get out of your room for awhile??.

>>2635

>I'd pay to have someone correct my exercises and explain them to me online, all via text

That can be done it is very possible.

>>2640

I think "impress" is overstating it. I think I feel like a failure myself, but if I had an accomplishment that'd bother me less since I would at least not be a total failure.

University is just the shortest course of action to reach that, since it takes just a few years to get and the title is for life.

>>2643

>I think I feel like a failure myself, but if I had an accomplishment that'd bother me less since I would at least not be a total failure.

True good luck out there anon.

>>2643

>I think "impress" is overstating it. I think I feel like a failure myself, but if I had an accomplishment that'd bother me less since I would at least not be a total failure.

This is why i tried joining the military. I just wanted some pride. Something to hold onto and feel like i'd done something with my life. It didn't help that the second i even suggested it everyone treated me like i'd already won the medal of honor or something. But of course i washed out. That was a desperate insane thing i did just like trying to run away. I hope you get actually make something of this attempt, anon.

>>2644

Thanks for the understanding, BO.

>and on top of all that the capitalist system is cancer

Dude, i have a specific job in the store where i stock all the candy and the "impulse" merchandise next to the registers. That alone stresses me out so much. I see like these morbidly obese women with their fat kids perusing the candy isle buying a bunch of overpriced garbage and then they buy some shitty generic Chinese earbuds, a toy, and then some more cancer food at the register. I get paid expected to work my ass off to stock garbage for other minimum wage and welfare recipients to buy. I lift and organize boxes, run around the store all day, and am expected to be super kind and help customers. I get paid $9 an hour for that and i live in one of the most expensive cities in Burgerland. I can't even call this capitalism. Everything about this is such a corruption of the human spirit in general. There is zero incentive for me to do much other than show up on time and pretend to do my job when the manger is looking. The Walmart employee model is simply have enough warm bodies to get the minimum amount of work done. They seem to expect me to come in 10pm on Christmas eve for a full shift. Which directly conflicts with my normal schedule and it's on Christmas. It's so ridiculous to even suggest. If they just put the slightest bit of effort into employing and keeping good people their store would run so much better. Half the people i work with should be fired immediately but they can't afford to.

>Is that your plan?? wagecucking until you get your own place then returning to hikki life??.

Yes or sooner because if they piss me off i'm completely okay with quitting or being fired. It's not like i couldn't get another wagecuck job the next day if i wanted to. The personnel manager has already been treating me like i'm in fucking high school and if he does it again i'm walking straight out of there after throwing my gay little vest in the baler

I don't know if I'd be considered a hikki anymore. I was neet never go out of my room from 14-20, was morbidly obese, suicidal, the whole thing. I dropped 150 pounds and got my high school degree after a year of on and off attendance where I'd go once a week or something. I've been consistently going to class for 4 months now (in tech support) but I don't know how long it'll last. I actually managed to make a couple of friends which surprised me, doesn't sound like I'm as bad as other hikkis socially, but I don't think I'm good either, I often have no idea what to say when talking with people and when I do I usually don't have the guts to say it, also stressed in the presence of people I don't know well. Still suicidal as well. As for girls, I have never interacted with one for more than a couple minutes since I dropped out and have pretty much 0 hope when it comes to all that. I'm 120 days into nofap and it isn't easy to deal with. Sorry for blogpost, haven't really had a place to vent in a while, hope it's ok.

>>2649

>Sorry for blogpost, haven't really had a place to vent in a while, hope it's ok.

You don't have to be sorry it's what we do on here.

>>2648

> I lift and organize boxes

Do you feel like your at least getting some kind of exercise by doing that??.

>I can't even call this capitalism. Everything about this is such a corruption of the human spirit in general.

This is so true.

>>2650

it's just that I'm not sure I fit the bill, and I don't want to be a normie coming in here when it's supposed to be a hikki place, but I haven't really seen anywhere else that share these kinds of trouble, there's R9K I guess but people there are so angry and every time I go on there I get extremely depressed and tell myself I'm trying to get out of this for no reason and it won't work so I stopped going there.

>>2652

>it's just that I'm not sure I fit the bill,

Well ask yourself the following before you decided to fix your situation did you meet any of the following criteria??.

>1. Spending most of the day and nearly every day confined to home.

>2. Marked and persistent avoidance of social situations.

>3. Social withdrawal symptoms causing significant functional impairment.

>4. Duration of at least six months.

>5. No apparent physical etiology to account for the social withdrawal symptoms.

Also please read the sticky before posting.

>>2653

1. yes

2. yes but by parents

3. I suppose

4. yes, 6 years

5, fat maybe? probably not

I read the sticky. I don't really have friends friends in real life if that makes sense. I've got the friends I made in school but I only see them at school, don't know if I can consider them friends for real, also have online friends I interacted with since I was 12 or so.

also am I supposed to sage when we go back and forth like this

>>2655

>also am I supposed to sage when we go back and forth like this

No that's more of a /jp/ thing and yes you belong here the people who don't belong here are non-hikkis people who have never lived the hikki lifestyle or are wannabe posers shitposters and fakers and admire this lifestyle like the anons on Hikkichan those kind of people piss me the fuck off tbh.

>>2657

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to deal with this thing. Right now my biggest worry is the no gf one, if I can just accept that it's not for me I think I'll be much better off mentally

>>2658

>I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to deal with this thing.

Same here to be honest i was lonely until i created this place i never knew there were so many other people out there in the world just like me occasionally we do have outsiders non-hikkis and normies come on here but they are usually banned immediately this is a comfy board for true hikkis and i will not let it end up like Hikkichan.

>>2658

thank you for creating the place, even if normalfags will never understand us (however nice they may be), at least there's a place where we can exchange and try to cope, hope you have a nice day/night

>>2661

No problem anon and that is very true.

>>2662

where are you from BO? I noticed you have a distinct way of typing

>>2651

>Do you feel like your at least getting some kind of exercise by doing that??.

Yes but i'm also hurting myself in the process. Like there's no real safe way to move a 40lb box of cancer under a cart where i also need to throw/push it while bending down.

>>2654

>>get fired this month by my dad who tells me it's because I'm a burden

hey you could just work for Walmart because you could absolutely suck at everything you do and nobody will notice unless you you're late/don't show up. fuck, you could probably just clock in and then leave until your shift ends and then clock back out

>>2665

in all seriousness, I'm done with jobs.

I'm not going outside just to look like a fucking clown everyday in other's eyes.

I don't even know if I should of posted my first post because it's going to bring up confusion. I don't want to be banned.

I seriously never talk to people outside of my family but even then I talk to them once a week or so.

>>2666

> I don't want to be banned.

You're not going to be anon you're fine.

>>2668

Dear Board Owner, 63 here, I'm so sorry to read your story about topamax and your life. Is it for seizures, are you familiar with CBD Oil for Seizures? I saw a video about it several years ago and they showed how this oil helped children to stop having seizures when nothing else worked. So I did a search on your medication to see what it's used for, I hope you don't mind? Anyway there is a Community Forum at the Epilepsy Foundation trying to get people to try their protocol, I thought that maybe it would help you to feel better, I hope :)

https://www.epilepsy.com/connect/forums/living-epilepsy-adults/cbd-oil-seizures

When I was young after I got out of the hospital I could barely speak, and when I tried speaking to people I stuttered so badly it was very humiliating and that reinforced the stuttering. I could talk to animals or sing and it never happened. About that time everyone was experimenting with drugs, we were involved in the Vietnam War at that time. All of the men in my family were Marine Corp, my uncle was on leave and I was about 12. Everyone in California smoked weed at that time and he shared a joint with me and as we talked. I noticed that I wasn't stuttering, until I thought about it and the stuttering started again. He had some psilocybin mushrooms and gave me a good trip. We found a comfy place where no one would bother us and we talked for hours about life. After that I didn't stutter anymore. Years later some research showed me that psilocybin has the ability to rewire the neutral network in your brain. Paul Stamets American mycologist told his story about the time the same thing happened to him, and then I knew.

Take care my friend

>>2674

>. Is it for seizures

Yes i had a seizure when i was 9 years old and have been taking the medication ever since then i haven't had a seizure since age 9 but my parents are paranoid that if i get off the medication that i could possibly have another one so that's why i still take it years later also thanks for the link elder hikki. :)

>>2666

>I'm not going outside just to look like a fucking clown everyday in other's eyes.

This is what gets me as well. I could probably handle the actual work, but the way you're treated by coworkers and management is just terrible and there's no reason for it. Or maybe i just don't get it because i'm genuinely non-offensive and kind of an aspie. I won't say i'm "nice" because that implies i'm doing it because i like everybody. I just don't want to upset anybody. I will always say the most innocuous thing i can. I will never say some snarky passive aggressive bullshit just to spite someone or to get out of a thing. It's not hard to not be a dick. Like my manager got onto my case about not doing something i was literally doing as he walked up and was just a douche about it. Instead of saying "hey make sure you label these before you bin them" he's a total dick about it. That could've easily been a pleasant exchange of information but instead he ruined my day. This is not worth any amount of money honestly.

I get it to some extent because most of my coworkers are extremely childish basketball Americans and treating them with respect just makes them think you're weak, and oh boy am i re-learning that this week. There's nobody more rude and condescending than a black woman i swear. Again, not worth fucking $9 an hour with no benefits

>>2686

Don't be offended by the Hired Pitbull, he is following orders in the dream. A lower consciousness level is like a dog chasing it's own tail. Rise above the trigger and use what comes your way to further your quest for lasting peace and quiet. You are doing just fine, happy holidays, and I wish you much success in your continuing efforts to find that special place. Take care

>>2693

Thank you, anon. Those words are nice to hear because i know you're being sincere and understanding. Which I think is super rare for all of us to experience

>>2694

Realizing that we are being abused by political and spiritual leaders the search begins for freedom from bondage, we want independence from this old story. When you reach this stage your being can be independent and does not need to rely on others. Many people have seen how ugly human nature is and decide to separate from lay society and become Hermits or Monks, but this Meme is dieing. This is a transition from one paradigm to another, from one old story to one that is more relevant to the times. Everything on this planet is a variation on this theme or meme. Another religious cosmology story invented by ancient primitive and superstitious minds to try and explain what they cannot understand. And our financial system is interwoven into this story and cannot be separated either, it's a machine that seemingly can't be stopped. Liberation from that dream will help you to walk between the raindrops. If I can do it in an earlier time when I had to hide everything I did, then it can be done today. There was no one to talk to, everyone was asleep, moving through their lives like idiots. Often I was the like the invisible man, in plain sight, the only man on earth in his right mind it seemed. But now people more and more are waking up. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and that your path is good and honorable.

Take care now :)

>>2718

The world is so complicated and upside-down that you can hardly fix anything anymore.

>>2721

That's very true. All I've ever really wanted in life was to make just enough money to get by, other than that I just keep to myself. I always knew the world was a bit shitty, but once I found out how bad it really was, that's when my depression reached new heights that I had previously thought impossible. It shouldn't be this difficult to live a simple, quiet life.

>>2718

>My plan is to put up with wage-slaving as long as I can, while also going to college to get a simple degree. I plan to spend 2 years maximum on that degree, though I might have a way to do it in 1 year. Once I have a "career", I'm going to try to save up money as much as possible while looking for work that I can do from home, maybe starting a home business or doing some kind of investing. Once I've found a way to make money from home, I will return to being a hikikomori with enough money to sustain myself indefinitely.

Ill. bet it will all be worth it in time anon.

>>2718

>I wish it was only capitalism that we had to deal with. However, thanks to several decades of zionist meddling, the US is more of an unholy hybrid, comprised of equal parts capitalism and communism. The capitalist aspect comes from our nation's corporations' twisted obsession with acquiring as much wealth as possible, often at the expense of the employees or the common folk. The communist aspect is present in the gross over-regulation of economic and governmental procedures, putting nearly every company, business, and private citizen in a legal death-grip.

I get what you're saying but it's so much deeper than that. Our problems are so complex and they start in the womb. Women consume the worst things while pregnant, fucking our children up fundamentally. Then if you're a burger one of the first things you experience in life is a ritual sacrifice of your foreskin to the volcano demon. You continue to develop ingesting and being exposed to things that alter your endocrine system and will probably get an attention disorder because you're exposed to such high rates of media consumption at an early age. Your mom will likely not breastfeed you and she will likely let public schools do most of the work of raising you. You're unlikely to have a stable nuclear family and will be left to get yourself through adolescence because your parents don't take that kind of interest in your development. You'll be sent through the machine that is public schooling to have a nonsensical worldview drilled into you while not really learning anything of value other than how to navigate socially. Then you're now expected to spend shit loads of money fucking around for a few years at what is essentially just more public schooling at college. Then you get a "job" where you cuck for some corporation all day long because it's now frowned upon to even try making your own money and any avenue to do so is heavily blocked off. The government then extracts large chunks of the money you earned sucking dick so they can fuck you in the ass and redistribute that money to Israel and the brown people taking the birthright your parents and grandparents didn't give a shit about protecting. Your government will express nothing but contempt for you and won't even provide clean drinking water or decent roads. You can then get married for a couple years before she either ruins you, or ruins you and takes your kid, who will likely grow up worse than you did.

Then god forbid you realize how insane all this is because now you can't even distract yourself from it with mindless media because some of those dumb kids who went to college for art are now manufacturing garbage for you to consume while all in a contest to see who can make the most demoralizing piece of media. Or fuck, maybe you're born with or develop some mental/social disorders and can't even function in this society and do the things you're taught to do. Well you're doubly fucked then because you already live in this shit world AND some kikes not too long ago made a concerted effort to dismantle state mental healthcare systems and institutions so they can sell you pills. Creating the homeless problem and a whole new avenue of study for asshole in college. Who then go on to be shitty psychiatrists who can't actually help you as their job is truly just to prescribe pills and listen to wow is me tales from idiots who can't comprehend their emotions. So you can either suck dick trying to survive or live off the teat of the tax payer like an asshole because you can't even escape completely and go hide in the woods or something. Your only option is to somehow get enough money to pay people to leave you alone.

>>2734

Very good cosmology, accurate, some places over simplified but it doesn't hurt the meaning.

If you haven't seen the movie:

Watch the movie Wall-e (2008)

…and if you have watch it again.

Thanks

Here is a guy that tries to be in the woods: Joe Robinet, Bush Craft.

https://www.youtube.com/user/josephallen19

>>2746

I've heard about that guy very interesting thanks for sharing.

>>2734

>I get what you're saying but it's so much deeper than that.

I was really just trying to keep it short and simple in my post, while still conveying an overview of how fucked things are. Regardless, you are exactly right in everything you posted. The world we live in now is a truly unique form of hell, and you described it very accurately. Excellent post, anon.

>>2747

You are very welcome, here is the other guy, even more interesting.

Primitive Technology - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA

>>2801

>i like being surrounded by all of my stuff such as my tv and computer

Same here. Most hikkis spend all their time browsing the internet and playing video games, myself included, so I think most of us would have a hard time leaving our computers behind to go live in some forest somewhere. Aside from that, I think being out in those wide open spaces would be very unsettling initially. I know for me personally, my room feels like one big protective shell, so being out in all that open space would make me feel almost naked.

>>2811

>ever since i was a small child whenever drama broke out in my family i would go hide in my room

>i often would skip school and stay home in my room

I did this a lot too. I hated going to school because I despised most of the people there and I had barely any friends.

>i do go outside if absolutely necessary or if my parents invite me out to lunch which doesn't happen very often at all or if i am forced outside by my family like on christmas

Same here. I only go out for food or on holidays, or on the occasion that my dad pressures me to go with him somewhere. The only reason I agree to go is because I don't want him to get angry and kick me out since I have no money and no place to go.

>>2932

>I have no money and no place to go.

Aren't you on NEETbux anon??.

>>2933

No, I just live with my parents.

>>2944

>i was bullied for being in the special ED class and i always felt so ashamed of myself for legit having autism because the normalfag kids in school bullied me for it it's one of the reasons i became a hikki in the first place. Hell i felt so ashamed that i would even lie to the popular kids and say that i wasn't in the special ED class and that it actually was a study hall honestly i think they knew i was lying in the first place they just didn't actually say anything in front of me i remember this one time where we were all outside during lunch and i got food dumped on me and then one kid through a football at my face on purpose i tried to fight back but then 6 chads circled around me and started pushing me and beating the shit out of me all the while one of my neighbours is off to the side watching it happen and not doing anything and the school administration didn't give two shits

Sorry to hear that. I never got it that bad. I usually got that strange form of bullying where the chads would pretend to be friendly, then make fun of me behind my back. I remember this one douche, who I was convinced was a closet homo, would punch me in the arm in the middle of class, then he would pressure me to punch him back but he would try to wait until the teacher was looking so I would be the one to get in trouble. Worse still, I live in the south so my high school had a mixture of chads and rednecks, and both groups would treat me like shit. I'm glad that I'm out and I never have to go back.

>>2965

> I usually got that strange form of bullying where the chads would pretend to be friendly, then make fun of me behind my back.

That happened to me as well.

>>2992

Good luck out there anon be sure to give us updates in this thread later on as time passes.

>a family member passed away

I'm sorry to hear that anon i know how you feel too my grandma is sick and has cancer,

>>3000

It really sounds like wagecucking really isn't your thing and to be honest there really is no excuse for it anyway but you should find out what's best for you and what works for you.

>>3004

>there really is no excuse for it anyway

I understand what you're saying but i really don't have another choice right now. I'm more afraid of mental healthcare and the government than i hate what i'm dealing with currently. But i'm going to fuck up sooner or later and do something stupid and be left even less options.

>>3007

>I'm more afraid of mental healthcare and the government

Same here.

>>2718

Going to college isn't going to help you with your home business idea. Unless you're doing something tech support wise from home you're just spending time and money you will have to repay later.

>>3000

bring a patch kit. if it's within reasonable walking distance <20km then just walk the bike home.

>>3011

There are plenty of ways to make money online that don't involve fixing PCs for normalfags. I was thinking of something more along the lines of e-commerce or figuring out stocks or bonds. I'm not entirely certain yet, but it's something I plan to figure out in the next few years.

>>3022

>There are plenty of ways to make money online that don't involve fixing PCs for normalfags.

This

>>3049

also

sorry for another blog post

>>3050

>sorry for another blog post

You don't have to be sorry blog post aew perfectly acceptable on here.

>>3049

I know how you feel, anon. A while back, I held a retail job for nearly a year and I fucking hated it. I know how bad wageslaving can be.

>get paid minimum wage

>bosses are always condescending

>customers treat you like shit

>older coworkers treat you like shit because they resent you for your youth

>get worked like a dog for fucking peanuts

>you can never stand up for yourself because you're completely expendable and replaceable

Minimum wage/part-time work in modern America is an absolute nightmare brought on by a corrupt and depraved system. Here are a few tips that I hope will come in handy:

<keep your head low

Don't draw any unnecessary attention to yourself.

<only do just enough to keep from getting fired

Don't ever try to be the guy that 'everyone can count on', because that's the guy that will get taken advantage of and worked to death.

<whenever a customer asks you for help, try to pawn them off on a coworker if possible

Make the customer believe that you have lead them to the best person to fix their problem. For example, if you work in electronics, and a customer asks about the nearby sporting goods section, find the sporting goods guy.

<most importantly: ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR END-GOALS

Don't ever forget what you're working towards, no matter how big or small. Whether it's saving up cash for something you want/need, or trying to do just enough to get people to leave you alone, (I've been there myself) never forget that goal, let it be your driving force.

Also, >>3050 no need to apologize. You aren't 'blogposting', you're sharing your feels, it's what we do here and it's part of why this board is so comfy.

>>3058

>Don't ever try to be the guy that 'everyone can count on', because that's the guy that will get taken advantage of and worked to death.

>whenever a customer asks you for help, try to pawn them off on a coworker if possible

I'm trying to do this but it's hard because i'm so naturally inclined to be a good/passive person as gay as that sounds. I also don't really care most of the time when a customer asks for help unless it's some insane bullshit. Like today with the hand warmers

>crack head comes over to me asking if we sell hand warmers in bulk

>say they're probably in the sporting goods section

>"oh yeah yeah i dun looked all over der"

>start walking over there to look with her as if i have some magical ability to see things better than her

>stop half way there and suggest i ask somebody from customer service to call for a sporting goods person to meet her over there because i've never even been to this part of our store

>"naw naw hell no you aint gonna do dat to me dat neva werks"

>make me feel like an asshole trying to ditch her when that's not even what i was doing

>stare at the camping stuff and point to the empty area where the product should be

>"oh whatever i just deal wit dees"

But that's not even the thing that made me want to go hide in the restroom. Some real piece of trash came over to me calling me "homeboy" and was mumbling about something i couldn't understand and really he just got embarrassed that he couldn't explain and his way of coping with that was saying "i don't even know why i'm tryin to talk to you you don know nuffin" and walked away as if i had done something to him. I can have fake interactions all day long but it hurts so much at the end of the day.

>>3053

>>3058

i know i just feel like a douche posting about wagecucking on the hikki board but you guys are the only people who really get it

>>3059

>i know i just feel like a douche posting about wagecucking on the hikki board but you guys are the only people who really get it

Recovering or former hikikomoris can post on here as well the only people who aren't allowed on here are normalfags (Non hikkis) people who have never experienced the hikikomori lifestyle or wannabe shitposters and posers who think being a hikikomori is cool like a lot of the anons in the Hikkichan Discord server.

>>3060

> or wannabe shitposters and posers who think being a hikikomori is cool like a lot of the anons in the Hikkichan Discord server

I haven't been on the discord. People think hikimorism is cool?? The fuck.

>>3075

>I haven't been on the discord.

Don't bother it's fucking cancer full of teenagers posting selfies of themselves and they go out regularly and have social lives nobody on that Discord server is an actual hikikomori tbh all those kids just go on Hikkichan and are like yeah man i'm not a hikki but i really wish i was LOL XDXD.

>People think hikimorism is cool?? The fuck.

Yeah just a bunch of dumbass kids who have never lived the lifestyle they probably just watched Welcome To The NHK. and were like LOL i'm a lot like that guy because muh anxiety and i'm a NEET too wannabe hikkis piss me the fuck off there were so many of them on Hikkichan and i just got so fed up with normies posting on there and that's one of the reasons i created this place so all the real hikkis who browsed that site can have a nice comfy place to talk away from the cancer.

>>3077

unfortunately the same thing will probably happen if this board becomes big, oh well, we can just go somewhere else if this happens

>>3075

Yeah some people on the west treat depression and other mental illnesses such as hikikomorism/social isolation as a fashion statement. It's very fucked up, if you ask me. They don't have none of those things or very mild versions of them, still able to function normally, have friends, girlfriends, family, go out etc.. yet post self deprecating me_irl memes of facebook reddit etc like

>im so depressed dude XD I didn't go out all weekend just played skyrim im such a hikikomori lol

I fucking hate normalfags I swear.

>>3081

insert deterioration of a culture picture

>>3081

>One thing that always surprised me during my time as a wageslave was just how entitled and arrogant low-class, ghetto-trash junkies can be.

Yeah, and i'm there when the store first opens. When barely anyone is in there and only one register is open. Every fucking day when i'm unfortunately near the registers there's someone bitching about it even though all the self-checkouts are open. I don't know if they're so stupid they can't figure out the-selfcheckouts or they're just that entitled. Or like the other day when someone walked up to me literally ten minutes after the doors opened to complain that nobody was over in clothing to unlock the premium black person underwear she needed at 6 in the morning.

>where's your manager

>this is ridiculous

Bit of a change of pace today some old Asian man apparently looked at every single candy bar in this one display and frantically trying to explain to me that they're all expired and they were. I couldn't tell if he was pissed because he wanted to buy one or disappointed in me for not knowing about this. It was really weird and uncomfortable.

>It comes from normalfags giving into the need for conformity.

It's conformity via individuality. This cancerous jew idea that everyone needs to be as individualistic as possible and that being apart of a group because of traditional similarity is a bad thing. Church is dead, after school clubs are dead, sports are not for everybody. There's really no where they will congregate irl except school/work. Yet everyone wants to belong to something. So they figure out which snowflake titles could apply to them and they go after that. Oh you like Star Wars? You're a nerd now, buy all this merchandise and post about it on Reddit. You like the internet? Better get over to reddit and 4chan because that's where all the cool kids hang out and post those hilarious memes. Reminds me of Jackass and when that first came out versus now. Like those guys were pretty hardcore and doing some crazy stuff. But that show created this whole genre of stunts/pranks that has become some guy going to the suicide forest in Japan to laugh at a dead body he found. Or like, Facebook about 5 years ago was really fun to post in. Before they cracked down on "hate speech" and changed the algorithms you could have these groups and pages that you could actually interact with other people like a real forum. Having 10 accounts at once just to argue conspiracy theories with dumb boomers and bitch about e-celebs, even super esoteric e-celebs that only existed in that community on FB for that short time. That all got fucking ruined by normalfags. It spawned this whole culture of FB and TY users going to /gif/ and /r9k/ looking for those dank memes to get likes. Normalfags consume culture like they do with anything else.

>>3078

>unfortunately the same thing will probably happen if this board becomes big

Some have already tried to get in but they failed miserably and it is kinda pointless for them to even keep on trying because i will just keep on banning them over and over again don't worry i will make sure this place doesn't end up like Hikkichan.

>>3081

>Just look at current "nerd culture" and 4/r9k/, both of which were originally filled with socially inept, male virgins like many of us hikkis. The internet gave them all a place to congregate and discuss their hobby/interests/feelings, and as those communities grew, they caught the attention of normalfags. And of course normalfags, being the unoriginal drones that they are, felt compelled to include themselves in something for no other reasons than the desire for popularity and attention. However, since normalfags never adapt to the cultures that they invade, and instead replace it with their own cheap, facebook-style culture like a cancer spreading through a host body, the video game industry and 4/r9k/ collapsed, and all quality from both dropped immensely.

This is so true nerd culture has become way too mainstream in recent years i literally can't

stand 4chan nowadays because it's full of normalfags now.

>>3089

1 word: "Bazinga"

>>3084

>Yet everyone wants to belong to something. So they figure out which snowflake titles could apply to them and they go after that.

made me realize I feel the same way towards being hikki, or well used to be hikki

>>3138

> or well used to be hikki

You got out? How?

>>3139

barely, I'm doing a reintegration attempt, started going to school 5 months ago but other than 5 days per week 8 hours at school things have changed very little

>>3141

Well hey, you're going outside the house, that's progress!

I'm doing a reintegration attempt too. I'm sick of this. This is no life to be living.

Well, today is the last day of my winter break, flew right by. I don't want to go back, I knew this break would make me not want to return. I am lucky for a hikki (or former hikki) because I can manage to make something that seems like friendship, so I'm looking forward to meeting my friends again at least. I will also have to program a small software for my class, do you guys have suggestions? I've been thinking about making a program that would calculate various health related stats like BMI and TDEE because I am trying to lose weight, oh and also a calorie counter, but I am open to suggestions.

So aparently I can't hide my power level as well as I thought I could. Makes me wonder how much self awareness I actually have. Everyone at work seems to think I'm either retarded or crazy, not sure which. The people in my department are cool about it but some of the others are ducks. I feel like a child when your parents bring you to an adult party. Today a coworker with the same schedule as me told my DM my schedule right in front of me. It was just so weird and that person acts like she's assigned to keep an eye on me. She's always reminding me of things and checking on me. Didn't think much about it until today. Yesterday some other person I've never talked to before like congratulated me on what a good job I do. Now I'm super anxious and paranoid because I feel like all these people talk about me. I hoped I could just lately low but now I'm the retard coworker. This kind of shit always makes me realize how distant from a normal life i am.

I might quit after payday. This is just too much for me.

>>3234

that is rough but try to remember that you don't need these people's approval, if you're working it's probably because you have to, if I were you I would try to just do your job the best you can and pay no attention to them… and also I'm sure it must hurt your pride to be thought as the retard but at least these people sound somewhat nice, at least they're not making fun of you to your face which could happen in another work area.

>>3236

>try to remember that you don't need these people's approval

I don't respect these people and couldn't care less of what their opinions are of me honestly

> I'm sure it must hurt your pride to be thought as the retard

It does and the problem is that it's thrown in my face cause otherwise i wouldn't really care.

>but at least these people sound somewhat nice

They are pretty nice and i don't think they're trying to do it, it's probably just instinct or something

>>3239

yes well the way I look at it, at least the people where you work are nice, if you quit and got another job you increase your chances of getting people that aren't as nice, if you quit that is your choice and it is fine, but it sounds like you have a decent thing going

>>3240

but it might be a case of grass is always greener, I had a job once and my experience really was no good. At the end of the day only you know what you will do

>>3251

what was the point in your opinion?

>>3252

Isn't it obvious? Welcome to the NHK was not promoting or glorifying hikikomoriism. NHK showed the misery of the hikikomori lifestyle.The point was: don't become a hikki, but if you do, take responsibility and don't rely on others to save you. Misaki was manipulative and her only interest in Satou was self-serving. Only Satou could fix Satou.

>>3255

I haven't finished the show yet, around episode 20. But yes it does seem like that is the point of the show, there are times when hiki life seems comfy in the show but most of the times it's not a good thing.

>>3251

>>3252

>>3255

>>3260

I recommend reading the book.

>>3260

There is an element of "comfy" instant gratification, with tasty unhealthy food, beer, porn, video games - doing fun things all day - obviously taken to the extreme, to where it is no longer enriching, but soul-destroying. There is an underlying sorrow, even despair, at that sorry state of existence which the show portrays so well.

>>3261

It will be the next book I read.

>>3264

I don't know how underlying I'd say it is, almost every time satou over indulges in something there's a scene where it shows the physical toll it takes on him, facial hair, eyes going crazy when he plays too much mmo, how fat he would become if he didn't stop being ultraneet, fucked teeth, etc.

>>3265

> there's a scene where it shows the physical toll it takes on him, facial hair, eyes going crazy when he plays too much mmo, how fat he would become if he didn't stop being ultraneet, fucked teeth, etc.

Do you mean this clip??.

>>3269

yes that is one of the scenes but also when he's going crazy over the girl in the game, when he started collecting porn pictures, basically any time he over indulges something

I feel like even if I went to college and got a degree, I still wouldn't be able to get a job. I'd be competing against younger people who have better social skills, connections, and resumes due to working part time jobs since they were 16.

Working trades it pretty much out of the option. I'm a small, clumsy aspie that would no doubt fuck something up, and would be an easy target for ridicule.

>>3271

yes… it's hard for people like us, if you absolutely need a job try entry level ones, they usually aren't too picky but you might need to apply to a lot of places. Or here there are government ran (I think?) organisations to help people find jobs, usually aimed at young people but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't say no, also people who are on welfare are offered jobs that they are pretty much guaranteed to have if they just apply for, good luck man I am in a similar situation but not as bad, hope you find something good for you, maybe try to find something you can do from home

>>3287

it's fucked up man, you try to get jobs but you get rejected over and over, and this isn't for great or even good jobs, you're getting rejected for the worst jobs with the worse pay (barely above welfare, so where's the incentive for even trying?) for I while I judged people who didn't work (myself included) very harshly as lazy fucks who didn't mind mooching off everyone else, but then I realized a lot, most I'd say, people in our situation have actually tried to reintegrate and basically been rejected, and I get the feeling that often we are rejected not because of how good a worker we might or might not be, but because we have trouble socially and people don't like us. Being born with good social skills is having life on easy mode, in my opinion. I finished welcome to the NHK last night and while I understood what the author was saying when satou ran out of cash and simply got a job, I do not think this would work very well maybe it's different in Japan but here employers have ridiculous demands for jobs that pay little, it's not about giving a shot to young people, it's about making money for themselves. As for working from home, I was thinking if you can muster the courage to do it, maybe try flipping items on the internet? We have a popular website here (kijiji, don't know if you have something similar) where people sell and buy stuff, try getting stuff that looks cheap and selling it again for 20 dollars more or so. Sometimes people give out things for free when they're moving or whatever. Just say in your add price non negotiable, and must be picked up at your place. Might feel like you're ripping people off but these people do not care about us at all, they won't give us jobs, probably don't even know we exist (I mean hikkis in general, not us personally) and if they did they probably hate us and think of us as useless leeches. So fuck them. It's not against the law. Just some ideas man, or maybe if you find the time and concentration to learn programming you could do contract work from home, that seems a good idea because you're not interacting with anyone when you do that for the most part… well a little when you try to get the contract but there isn't a single way of making money that you will never interact with anyone… the money's gotta come from someone.

>>3317

>I did programming in college a couple years back. I'm out of practice but I may be able to help you with some basic coding and ideas. What are the requirements of your assignment?

oddly enough they haven't told us yet, it can be a small software like an electronic agenda or something more ambitious like a game. We get 30 hours in class to do it but are allowed as many as we want outside the classroom. I figure I will do something simple unless I'm really inspired to do something.

well, I fucked up tonight, I was playing a game with a friend I'd made at school and jokingly let slip that I cry myself to sleep (it was and wasn't a joke, I do cry myself to sleep every other day or so) and he instantly caught on, and said how he's had people in the past tell him that and he got the feeling that they weren't really joking, and if this was my "coming out", I froze up then said something like "coming out? am I gay now or something?" but I think he saw right through me. I should not have made that joke.

>>3305

>We have a popular website here (kijiji, don't know if you have something similar) where people sell and buy stuff,

It's called Ebay.

>>2992

Update. I went to my first class the other day. I had forgotten just how obnoxious normies are… It was hard to focus in the class because these normals talked and joked loudly through the entire class. No one talked to me or sat next to me but idk what's normal in college. That's okay though. I did well on the assignment. Didn't break down when I got home or anything.

Will update again at some point.

>>3354

Congratulations anon glad to see that you're trying to make it out there we are all proud of you.

>>3336

He still uses drugs in the manga but only because his highschool crush and his neighbour give them to him.

>>3354

Well done, anon.

Unless you happen to be a cute grill, it's fairly standard for college people to not talk to each other.

>>3330

Yeah don't ever reveal your power level in a joking way, they always see right through that. They already assume you're a loser and all you're doing is confirming their ideas when you bring it up.

>>3354

Good for you, anon. As I understand college doesn't have any of the forced social interaction so it's usually all up to you. I wouldn't worry too much about people approaching you.

>I had forgotten just how obnoxious normies are

Holy shit yes. This was so jarring when i first started my wagecuck job. It's just fucking endless noise. They seem uncomfortable when they're being quiet. Like 70% of my coworkers are black too so it's amped up 10x. Just like high school. I've been taking my lunch hiding in the back of a McDonalds because the break room is a nightmare even with my earbuds in.

>>3368

>Yeah don't ever reveal your power level in a joking way, they always see right through that. They already assume you're a loser and all you're doing is confirming their ideas when you bring it up.

Yes, I often delude myself into thinking that I am normal enough and can be myself, but that was a nice reminder of the contrary. The thing is with this guy is that while he's a normal he seems like the kind guy who could have been a hikki if he had a rougher childhood, he's not that bad. Lesson learned all the same

>>3319

>it can be a small software like an electronic agenda or something more ambitious like a game

That doesn't sound too bad. I remember I got an assignment make a simple banking program that calculated checking and savings, I think it also calculated some basic interest. That wasn't too complicated for me, and you're fresher on the material than I am, so I'm sure you'll do well. If, however, you do need help at any point, I'd be happy to help however I can.

>>3354

>I had forgotten just how obnoxious normies are

>>3368

>They seem uncomfortable when they're being quiet.

That's normalfags for you, if they aren't constantly exposed to some kind of noise or engaged in social interaction, they start to go mad. Silence is the same as cyanide to them.

>3D female at work said she wanted to "ask me something" when i got the chance

>too paranoid to approach her

>now just hoping she drops it or thinks i'm ghosting her or something

She's either going to ask me out or ask me if i'm gay to gauge if she should ask me out. I just know it. She's the kind of girl who would do this to me in HS and she was being kinda flirty when she said it. She's one of those super aggressive white trash thots too. I know she isn't going to handle rejection well especially from the pet she wants to adopt. This stupid job keeps getting more and more complicated. I just want to move boxes and get paid but normalfags can't leave well enough alone and i have this crippling problem where i automatically tell them what they want to hear for some reason. The store manager talked to me for like 5 full minutes about climbing the ladder as if i would ever want to be a manager but i went along with it like complete tool. I'm also getting super paranoid about the fact that one of my checks still hasn't come, like they're almost holding it to keep me there or something. I can't see any reason why payroll wouldn't fix that shit immediately.

also

being out and about has really ignited a new disdain for black people. I thought i was long past my edgelord phase but having to interact with blacks all day is insane and i'm so tired of it already

>>3660

Sorry to hear that, anon, I can only imagine how you must feel right now. On the few occasions where girls have shown interest in me, they always waited for me to make the first move, which I never did. As far as the paycheck goes, just tell someone in payroll about it. It's your money that you earned, and they have no legal right to keep it from you.

>>3661

never happened to me unfortunately I haven't interacted with a girl as old as me in real life since I was 13 or so (outside of cashiers and stuff)

>>3661

>>3665

I've had it happen a couple times and even had a gf in hs. At least in hs i was very soft and passive. I'm also not ugly, so i find that lesbians are into me for some reason. Though I don't know what it is now though. Maybe yesterday my body was really tensed up after helping my grandma move and lifting boxes/furniture all day and i seemed more /fit/ than i really am. I almost want to ask what the deal is because i know i'm not sexy, and i'm certainly not a flirt. I just want to be left alone. The idea of being in a relationship just seems like a nuisance.

>tell someone in payroll about it. It's your money that you earned, and they have no legal right to keep it from you.

I tell the HR guy pretty much every day. He's supposedly looking into it but he keeps lying to me and saying that it should be fixed and acting like i must be doing something wrong.

>>3670

If you can gather evidence anon. and keep asking. Also you might have to look into suing. you earned your money.

>>2618

This might be a longshot but is your country part of the refugee program? if it is you can get neetbux in germany and live /comfy/

I'm sorry for teachers the ISIS cabal are a whole co op.

>>3735

> you might have to look into suing. you earned your money.

This

>>3665

>>3670

I've only ever had a few girls show any interest in me, also a couple guys which was strange. I've never reciprocated anyone's feelings though, back in high school I was too shy, and now I prefer to be alone. On top of that, I'm terrified of intimacy.

>I tell the HR guy pretty much every day. He's supposedly looking into it but he keeps lying to me and saying that it should be fixed and acting like i must be doing something wrong.

Have you mentioned anything to your store manager? Suing may be an option like >>3735 said, but make sure you've asked everyone about your check that can possibly do something about it. DO NOT attempt to contact a lawyer until you've explored every other avenue and gathered extensive evidence. I say this because if you try to sue, you won't just be suing HR, or even the store, but the entire corporation, and they're going to lawyer-up good.

If you don't have a solid case with plenty of good evidence, you'll get crushed. You'll be fired, your case will crumble, and your jew-lawyer will demand shekels regardless of whether you win or lose. So don't sue until you are certain that you're ready. On the bright side, if you do have a solid case and win it (or get a settlement) you'll most likely get a hefty sum of cash that you can live off of for a good while.

>>3735

>>3740

>suing

I'd rather just not have the money honesty. Though this kind of thing is heavily weighted in favor of the employee and it likely wouldn't make much to get it done.

>looking for a job

>find one and go to apply for it

>have to apply online

>have to create account

>have to fill out convoluted forms

>for a fucking minimum wage job in a convenience store

Awful. Gone are the days of walking into a store and getting a job, eh?

>>3810

>>3811

This is so true.

>>3810

Do what i did and apply to a big corporate chain. Walmart called me the next day and their training process is super standardized and they're just interested in pushing people through. Their whole thing is designed for retards. Plus it's baseline $11 an hour now. I imagine most chains are similar.

I wouldn't want to work some place small and be forced to have close interactions with people. Like I work directly under a single person and she only tells me what to do and then fucks off most of the time.

>>3829

It's fine, I guess i'm getting used to it, at least as much as i could. There;s just so much normalfag bullshit. Like suddenly, as it's below freezing outside, the dumb cunt security manager is making my shift stand outside and wait until 4am exactly to go inside because she thinks someone on the night crew is stealing. It's honestly just so stupid I can't wrap my mind around it. Come to think of it, i;m not getting used to it at all. I'm just tuning it out like i did in HS.

>i think you would be better off in a small business that's a quiet kind of environment

I mean in the most ideal circumstance yeah, but where are you going to find something like that? I need this to either be extremely casual like you're suggesting or very impersonal. I'm too much of a sperg to deal with people like a regular human every day. The reason why i chose Shartmart specifically is because they funnel you through their gay little system. It's very corporate and impersonal. I don't feel obligated to make any friendly connections. Ideally i want something where i don't need to interact with the public. I'd actually really like to be a general maintenance guy somewhere and just fix all the stuff that breaks. I've thought about bringing that up with my general manager but i'm too paranoid to do so. All the broken things in our store trigger the fuck out of me. I want to work alone but i don't have the skills or discipline to work from home honestly.

>>3838

>The only time i'm motivated to do something productive is when i'm training to defend myself/kill people.

What is your favorite method?

>>3841

I mostly do body weight stuff but have been too tired to do anything besides some pull ups because of wagecucking lately. I don't practice any martial arts or anything specific

>>3842

>>3841

oh yeah i was also almost in the military and was extremely motivated through most of it until i fell apart and got kicked out when the training slowed down and i had time to self reflect/destruct

>>3842

>I mostly do body weight stuff but have been too tired to do anything besides some pull ups

Exercise is always good it can really put you in a good mood afterwards.

>>3844

This is very true. This is why I really enjoy cycling to and from work. It's hard to stay upset when you're exerting yourself like that. It's also just fun

>>3846

In the tiniest, minute of senses, you'll still be traveling to and from work, even if you're using your fingertips to travel. Eventually even that may become too much effort to make shekels.

>>3849

>In the tiniest, minute of senses, you'll still be traveling to and from work, even if you're using your fingertips to travel.

Not really.

ive never had a job but im trying with all my might but i get panic attacks everytime i leave the house i'm really trying though, we'll have to see

>>3846

Yeah i don't really get it either. The reason I like it is for one it satisfies some autism where i like completing something. Like i'm actually kinda motivated just for the sake for getting there. I never go on just a bike ride, i have to have some destination. Then like I said it physically feels good. It's also not really mundane like driving a car on a freeway. Just last week on my way to wagecuck there was some SUV plowed into a telephone pole, engine still steaming. I walked up to it expecting to see a body. But there was nobody in there, guy was probably illegal and just bolted afterward. Also i've seen two bum fights in the past month.

>>3846

Agreed. I've held a couple wageslave jobs in my life, and both were a commute of less than 20 minutes. Any more than that, and I would have quit a lot sooner than I did. It was bad enough having to work the hours that I did, sacrificing any more of my free time is out of the question for me. A long drive once in a great while is nice, but I just couldn't do it every day.

>>3852

That's completely understandable. The first time I had to apply for a job, I was a nervous wreck. Once you land a job for the first time, the anxiety will dissipate a little. It won't go away entirely, but it gets a bit easier. Good luck, anon.

>>3853

That sounds kind of cool. I sometimes wish that I had the power to turn invisible, then I could go out for walks and no one would be able to hassle me about anything. I could go see interesting places, and watch strange new things unfold. Then I could come home and share my stories with you guys here. I don't do that now because every time I go out, I get that eerie feeling like people are staring at me.

>>3854

>That sounds kind of cool. I sometimes wish that I had the power to turn invisible, then I could go out for walks and no one would be able to hassle me about anything. I could go see interesting places, and watch strange new things unfold. Then I could come home and share my stories with you guys here. I don't do that now because every time I go out, I get that eerie feeling like people are staring at me.

You just have to get out more. I used to board up my windows so people couldn't possibly see me and i would be terrified when i had to ride in my mom's car or whatever. Now I go to the gym sometimes and don't give a shit if someone sees my cutting scars when i'm changing in the locker room. That's all a consequence of trying to be a normalfag in the military though. I'm just jaded to all of this. Sometimes I think being numb like this is worse than caring about everything because now i don't have any aspirations to get better. It's like a calm consistent pain instead of being stabbed by everyone's eyes when you go out.

>>3855

humans stare to asses a threat, we evolved that way, flight or fight, sabertooth tigers used to eat us, if we sat still to long; and this makes meditation very difficult as well.

>>3852

what about benzos?

I have bought a ticket to see a band I like in a months time. I hope I go.

>>3897

>I have bought a ticket to see a band I like in a months time. I hope I go.

I hate concerts tbh they're too loud.

>>3898

It's worse when it's quiet and people chat over the music.

>>3899

>It's worse when it's quiet and people chat over the music.

Agreed

>>3896

>It's not that easy.

of course not

You're problem is probably that you have no reason to leave the house. Me, I was forced out. First by my mom who kicked me out then by my uncle for forced me to get a job. It's actually a lot more complicated than that, but point is i had this series of events that forced me out and keep me out. I actually don't have any advice because without that you really can't get better. In fact i'll probably fall right back into my paranoia if i stay in for more than a few days.

>>3897

What band, anon? I ended up seeing Gogol Bordello 2 years ago. I'm a retard who got there really early and was standing close to the stage trying to have a good spot. It was probably the coolest thing i've ever been apart of. Ended up surrounded by people and got kicked in the face by a dumb roastie trying to crowd surf but i was hypnotized the whole time and loved that experience so much. Jumping with the crowd, singing along. Would never do it again though because the rest of the experience at that thing was terrible but that was really cool.

>>3902

>You're problem is probably that you have no reason to leave the house

Why would i wanna leave my room when i have no friends and the world is against me?? we are the weakest of the weak anon this world was never meant for us in the first place most of us who browse here are just not compatible with society or its social norms tbh.

>Ill. probably fall right back into my paranoia if i stay in for more than a few days.

If mental illness is the cause of your social withdrawal than it's technically not hikikomori.

>1. Spending most of the day and nearly every day confined to home.

>2. Marked and persistent avoidance of social situations.

>3. Social withdrawal symptoms causing significant functional impairment.

>4. Duration of at least six months.

>5. No apparent physical etiology to account for the social withdrawal symptoms.

>>3902

Boris. I used to go fairly regularly, haven't been in three years. I like to get a spot at the front of a higher level, but that depends on the venue. Sometimes people talk to you, two strangers have bought me a beer before.

>I'm a retard who got there really early

The first time I ever went I arrived four hours before the doors opened.

>DM told me i can stay till 1pm to finish this task (as if i want to or care about hours)

>spend all day busting my ass moving an abnormally large amount of freight trying to finish this shit before 1

>actually have it to where i will likely finish by then

>all by myself move about 2,000lbs of garbage onto the sales floor

>12pm rolls around and other DM told me i have to clock out because payoll or whatever

>tell her what other DM said

>"naw i'm ur boss"

>okay

>clock out

They literally only do this shit because they don't like each other. I don't really give a shit, i'm there for max 8 hours, i'll do whatever in that time. But they need to figure this shit out because i guess technically i'm under both of them but one of them needs to be making decisions or they need to communicate. Apparently last week they were almost screaming at each other over what i should be doing. From what i see omen in the workplace is 100% cancer and the amount of drama they stir up is insane. I have to wonder what the monetary cost of this kind of shit is. I need to stop working so hard but i can't stop myself from completely tasks as efficiently as possible. It stresses me out way more to try and waste time than to just work hard.

>>3906

> Why would i wanna leave my room when i have no friends and the world is against me?

>most of us who browse here are just not compatible with society or its social norms tbh.

Exactly my point. Zero internal motivation to do anything, i'm the same way. So in turn you need sufficient external motivation to go out and become super jaded like i've become so you can enjoy the pleasure of riding a bicycle at 4am listening to Pygmy Lush while buzzed from polishing off the bottle of cheap wine from yesterday.

> If mental illness is the cause of your social withdrawal than it's technically not hikikomori.

BO, i don't know why you're so adverse to calling hikki a mental illness. It is by any definition, and that's not a shameful thing. Also I developed my paranoia from being hikki, not the other way around. There were a few times when i hadn't seen another human for weeks at a time and that's when i would get the worst boarding up my windows and door and also hanging blankets so i couldn't hear anything or be heard by anyone.

>>3919

Just looked them up, not really my thing but glad you're getting to see them, anon. Hope you have a good time. Do you like One Okay Rock? I don't know much about japanese music but i like them.

>two strangers have bought me a beer before.

Seems weird but i have no idea how those situations work

>>3924

>BO, i don't know why you're so adverse to calling hikki a mental illness.

No i said people who go into social withdrawal because of a mental illness they already have that's technically not hikikomori you're right hikikomori is not a mental illness it's a social condition.

>>3919

>Boris

Nice, I really like them too. Especially Pink. The slower, dronier, sludgier albums are not really my thing as much.

>>3999

>Egypt

>Hikikomori

I assume hikkis in the middle east are very rare right?? you must be one of the very few.

>>4003

>he's doing anymore and behaving like a fucking zombies out there if you're weak enough you will be eaten alive no doubt

honestly it's like this in the west as well

>>4004

yeah that's what I meant

Egypt is becoming a western country there's no as much muslims as we used to see anymore

there's an increasing ratio in the number of atheists and liberals among the youth everyday in addition to the horrible feminist activity that we've never seen it before as well women don't want to be a bunch of slaves wearing hijabs anymore

so you know it's pretty fucked up here not like the west is any better as well basically we're trying to become a horrible western country destroy ourselves even more

>>4003

>>4006

The lot of you used to be of Greek origin and you practiced your own religion, not that Islamic shit. It's too bad really.

Being 20 it seems I really need to get a job as my mom can barely afford our two bedroom apartment. Thing is, I'm terrified of it. And I've already tried interviews but have been turned down as I'm quiet and don't know what to say.

I like being hikki but I need to make money so my mom isn't constantly taking out her stress on me.

How do I get a job, or just money?

>>4071

Programming. Get freelance jobs online.

>>4072

>Programming. Get freelance jobs online.

This

>>3270

>when he's going crazy over the girl in the game,

Yamazaki basically catfished him LOL and he went crazy for the female character in the game that he even kicks Misaki out.

Well, skipped out on work today, probably won't be long until i quit completely. Just like in school i was a good boy for a couple months before i just couldn't anymore.

>>4532

We exist just to suffer. Some of the people at work have been calling me "shy-guy" even though i'm wearing a nametag and i guess it isn't obvious how much that bothers me. If i could just move my boxes and not have to talk with anybody i don't think i would mind working.

>>4541

>If i could just move my boxes and not have to talk with anybody i don't think i would mind working.

Same here actually.

>>4676

Then the solution is mass genocide. What we need is a nuclear war. I'll call the prez.

>>4674

what happened to the woman who wanted to "talk" to you? Did you find out what she wanted?

I wonder if she wanted to find out something embarassing about you and then gossip about it or if it was something noble.

>>4681

> normalfags have no sense of nobility or honor.

This is true.

I bought tickets to go see my grandpa for a few weeks. Hopefully we'll just go up into the mountains to fish and cook around the campfire. I like being around my grandpa. Uncle made it clear that i need to have another job when i get back which is obvious. I need more money so i can get my own place and finally and truly be alone and eventually get to be hikki again.

>>4680

I don't really know. After that day I just ignored it and she seemed to avoid me. She made some snarky comments to me. But the last time I interacted with her she just said good morning like nothing was wrong. It seems she got offended that i wasn't interested in reciprocating her invitation to friendship or whatever but then realized i'm just a sperg. There was another woman who's one of those constantly talking holes who like came right up to me and started interrogating me about where i came from, what i do, and finally telling me it seemed like i do a good job. It was very uncomfortable and she even said "you're too quite for my tastes". Not in a romantic way, but in the sense that i make her uncomfortable. The women in personnel did this too. Where they'll say all this hurtful shit but layer it in banter to make it seem acceptable.

>>4681

This feeling like we've all hit a dead end is the worst. It's like being invited to play a game you know you can't win and won't have fun playing.

>>4690

> Hopefully we'll just go up into the mountains to fish and cook around the campfire.

That sounds like a great time anon hope you have a good time.

>I need more money so i can get my own place and finally and truly be alone and eventually get to be hikki again.

Hope everything works out good luck anon.

>>4690

>Hopefully we'll just go up into the mountains to fish and cook around the campfire

That sounds like top tier comfy

>>4690

>Hopefully we'll just go up into the mountains to fish and cook around the campfire.

Sounds relaxing, I hope you enjoy yourself anon.

>The women in personnel did this too. Where they'll say all this hurtful shit but layer it in banter to make it seem acceptable.

That seems to be how most women are, they will intentionally wound you then turn around and do something nice to cover their ass. Then if you call them out on it at any time they act innocent as if they only ever wanted to be your friend. It's also the common form of bullying for high school girls, almost every sentence they speak contains a veiled insult.

>This feeling like we've all hit a dead end is the worst. It's like being invited to play a game you know you can't win and won't have fun playing.

You've very accurately summed up life itself. I don't ask that much out of life, all I want is to make enough to support myself and be alone, but the world wont even let me have that.

>>5191

>Welp, looks like I've landed a job interview. Walmart, night shit, full-time. I suppose this is it, I'll be getting out there, and my eight years in this box will finally be coming to its' end.

Good luck out there anon.

>I think I'm gonna let this be my last shot; If I fuck this up, should I, in the future, find that I've once again recessed back into my old ways, then it's the bullet for me. I'll make it a promise.

Makes sense.

>>5302

that was very unfortunate as you tried to be honest but what did you expect. Introvert people are very sensible most of the time and you cannot expect him to cope with having a competitor especially if he has self esteem issues. On one side you did the right thing to be honest but you also destroyed your bond with him. I hope you can fix this somehow and next time it might be better to not awaken sleeping bears especially if there was nothing that happened.

>>5302

it's not over anon. why not make a new account, contact him and apologize, tell him you realized you made a mistake and want to talk about it, that you don't want the precious thing between you to get destroyed over a little hiccup.

>>5310

>>5311

He unblocked me. We had a long talk and we both apologized. We actually even talked on the phone for a little while until we were out of spaghetti to spill and we went back to texting. It's so weird. I've never had to deal with any of this before and i never wanted to but I really like this guy. He's a NEET right now too but we're both going to work at becoming better people so we can be together. Maybe having something to look forward too will make wagecucking less horrible.

>Introvert people are very sensible most of the time

True I did not think of this. I mean if he told me the same thing I would be crushed. I was so stupid.

>>2611

working out on a rowing machine, i figure maybe if i'm at least in shape i'll have something to feel good about if i try to go out into the world again.

>>2611

I'm probably not writing this in the right post. I often planned things but fell flat or usually said "fuck it" and just dropped them because I'm useless.

The only way I know of how to put back a foot in the "normal world" considering my… (lack of) abilities and my general distaste for humankind, it would be through writing stories.

Always imagining things, not really original (everything has been covered nowadays) but never finishing them… or even start writing them at all.

Yet, there are 2 stories I feel somewhat invested in. One I kinda want to finish and try my luck at publishing for the august/september bracket (in France, it's usually one of the biggest time to release new novels or books in general).

The second one comes from my distaste of the current world. I imagine a somewhat reset following a 3rd world war, I know it's classical and the next part will make you think about a "Fallout" game, but I thought that the remaining countries decided to create "continental arks", each of them having different theories and ways of dealing with the "end of the world".

I tell the story from a European ark passenger point of view, waking up in a world he can't recognise without a clue about his actual mission.

>>5326

How do you do it? Even a little exertion such as hoovering has me aching for the next 2 days.

>>5337

i dunno, hanging yourself seems really painful and troublesome. i was thinking about ODing on sleeping pills and going swimming into the sea. a romantic way to go and when you fall asleep you probably don't feel the drowning and because you drown, you probably don't feel the pain that tends to come with ODing on pharma drugs after a while. i'm not at all sure about this though, definitely do some research on it first.

>>5367

>hanging yourself seems really painful and troublesome. i was thinking about ODing on sleeping pills and going swimming into the sea.

That seems even harder than hanging yourself. There are so many more things that could go wrong or places you can pussy out. Pretty much all ways to kill yourself are either painful or difficult some both which is why i and i'm sure many other hikikomoris haven't killed themselves

>>5417

Same here nothing seems as interesting as it used to be

Finding new hobbies doesn't work anymore because basically I'm getting bored of everything 0

I think that I will master up the courage to off myself very soon if I didn't find peace again

>>5417

Yup, and even if you do break free of the cycle, we're so far behind our peers that catching up to them is a dream at best

>>2611

13 months hikikomori here.

For the first time i felt like this situation isn't normal anyway

i met this board 5 months ago but just now i intend to be active here because I realized that my situation is really really bad!

I use Braces so a MUST to go to the dentist for just 10 minutes per month

For just 10 minutes i'm not hikikomori and these minutes are the worst moments that a live. I really don't like it.

whilst i go to the dentist i feel like i have the chance to change everything until i come to house again. This unique moment is the only one chance i have and i always fail at this.

>>5432

Chistcucks and Boomers are just as bad as Jews.

Has anyone here found a solution?

I have no social anxiety, I became a hiki because I dropped out of college and I didn't want to become a wageslave, and since being a NEET is not socialy acceptable, I just locked myself in my room. My parents seem to hate me and are always on the verge of kicking me out if I don't get a job, I wonder if anyone has found a way to survive without having to spend 10+ hours a dat working and commuting with pretty much no free time and no energy to use that little free time.

I wish we could find a way to make money that wouldn't require us to give up our freedom, if you know a solution, or have an out of the box idea, please share it with me.

>>5624

The closest thing to that I've heard of work is to become a (good) freelance programmer and move to a second/third world country. They can work 20 hours a month and live like kings from being paid western wages.

Alternatively, have enough money and luck to win on the options market. 100k can be enough. Stock market can work too, but you need a lot more cash starting out for it to work.

>>5625

>>5628

Stop daydreaming, the only way to solve the "money problem" is to keep living off our parents money. Going to a shrink may help with making them stop pushing you to look for a job, because they will say to themselves "well at least he's getting help, let's wait and see".

I really don't even know what to say or how to feel at this point. I've tried. I keep trying. But this dumb self sabotaging brain, this awful luck i have, and this awful society we live in make it impossible to make any headway. For a moment I thought i had a way to make money that would work for me, but just as soon as had it going it fell apart. Then i was broke again. I finally said fuck it yesterday and applied to some wagecucking jobs but i highly doubt anyone will even get back to me. Even if they did my bicycle is totally out of commission. Basically i have to replace the entire rear wheel. I can't even borrow another bike from my uncle because of of his are in worse condition. Today i spent about 2 hours trying to make one of them usable. Finally thought i had this one good to go but i got about a mile and the tire was totally flat. I was trying to get to the plasma donation center so i could get some money that way. Ended up having to walk the bike home. I have no money, no transportation, and now apparently my shitty prepaid cellphone is out of "service days" even though i have tons of minutes and whatever on it. What is even the point of this shit? The one good thing that i managed to accomplish is finding a /pol/lgbt/ bf but he lives 2 hours away and i rarely get to see him. Even then i feel like a massive loser because he has to pay for everything. Even worse i have to buy any booze we drink because he isn't 21 yet. It's so humiliating and all i do is make him worry that i'm going to hurt myself again like i did last month and spent 2 weeks in the mental hospital. The one good thing in my life and i'm nothing but a burden to him.

My defense and self preservation mechanisms are even starting to break down. I could actually bullshit my way through any job interview or whatever a year ago. But now i just don't care. At best i'm dismissive when someone tries to speak to me. I can't hold a real conversation anymore. I'm getting worse, not better. Maybe soon i'll be enough of a mess to qualify for NEETbucks but that's so humiliating honestly. It kills me inside to even think about. I can justify it to myself but my family still thinks i'm just being lazy and am about to enroll in college or some shit. Fuck, I can barely maintain a casual vidya presence anymore. I can't even be bothered to play my shooters let alone any MMORPG. I got out of the hospital a month ago and haven't done any of the shit i was supposed to because the days just slip through my fingers like water and i don't even notice most of the time.

wow it took me 6 times to solve the captcha i am totally useless

>>5681

It won't last forever though. If they get a serious illness or too old to work you're screwed.

I've been hikki for a few years but now im just a neet. The first step if you can manage it is to get support, from parents or the Govt. Then there is the often mentioned programming, etsy crafts, niche online resale (you could drop off packages at a dropbox in the middle of the night.)

Often what gets us down is depression. We lose joy in our hobbies (vidya counts) and then we stop, which makes things worse. The trick is to get just a little bit of momentum and then work with it, make it stronger. Do it on your terms. Depression is hard. Be selfish. Not to where you hurt others needlessly, but its okay to take from the world what you need to survive. Finally, even if you dont believe it initially. every day, when you wake up and before you go to bed, think of two things you are grateful for. It wont fix things on its own, but if you've got a roof over your head and clean water, you might be grateful for those. Antinatalists can at least be grateful for things that lessen suffering, computers, 8chan.

Get momentum as fast as you can keep it going. Be healthily selfish, without hurting people needlessly. and work on gratefulness.

You dont have to agree with me, you dont have to try it. but I'm in a better place because these things worked for me. They might help you some.

>>5868

The biggest problem I've had is keeping the income going consistently. These things help keep my life in order so that I dont mess up the employment, education, training, or self improvement by getting off track. (wasnt sure if my post seemed relevant enough)

>>5856

Of course, but I'm not working until it happens. And even then, I'll probably look for alternatives.

When my parents die, it will be at least 20 years from now, at that point I don't even know what kind of a rotten man I would be at that point, so it's pointless to worry about that now. I will probably be so fucked up that I could get neetbux or have enough reasons to kill myself.

Been trying to go out 1 hour every day but I just end up sitting in a bench or wandering around, what can someone with no connections and no money even do outside?

>>5992

>I can go outside just fine now but choose not to

Same.

>>5983

>what can someone with no connections and no money even do outside?

Exactly, there just is no point.

I don't want to work, I don't want friends, I don't have anything to buy. Going outside just means walking around for a while.

>>5417

Never before has a post resonated with me so strongly. It's so concise, too; you've distilled my entire struggle into four short sentences.

I wish you luck, wherever you are, anon.

>>5983

>>5995

Go to a bar or something sit down have a drink eventually you will start a convo with someone.

It just happened.

Don't get too drunk though or you will want to put even less.

>>6615

I'm not either of them but >>5983 said something about not having money so I don't think going to a bar would be a good solution and even if he just sat there wouldn't the bar keep get upset

now this is coming from someone with no experience but isn't the best way to gain experienced in the social field while outside to sit in parks and wait approach them yourselves I've never have done this myself but I've seen other people do it so I think it works

>>6616

At parks would seem like it would only work if you were a parent or something meeting other parents randomly talking to people would be weird but fuck knows.

>>6617

>randomly talking to people would be weird but fuck knows.

>

It's less weird if it comes from someone who dresses and acts like they have one of those super outgoing personalities, but the experience is still a bit jarring

>>6619

>someone who dresses and acts like they have one of those super outgoing personalities

how are you supposed to dress if you're outgoing I thought it was just personality that made the extrovert not the clothes

>>6620

Extroverts just don't wear bland things. They wear clothes that have personality and are stylish but not always on-trend, and when you look at them you just get the impression they're exciting and fun. They're not self-conscious with their clothing choices and you can see it in what they wear

Being hikki caused anhedonia which may be helpful in doing everyday things, it's as if I'm on autopilot and as a result do not worry about others' thoughts. Although, it's not completely this way, perhaps it's a step. Very very slow progress.

>>2618

It's a year late, but I was pretty isolated when I went to Syria for a year before the civil war.

Instead of Islamist/Daish-tier shit, I gladly 'only' had to deal with pro-Assad people who just hated my guts for being American. The international school (I was a middle schooler) I went to was divided between the native ruling class and foreign middle-class people like me, the former bullying the latter.

I guess the Sunni Arab majority still treated me like shit, but I was pretty isolated from them. Generally, even secular Middle-Eastern people are pretty crummy and judgmental. They're just not as bad as the full blown Jahoodis.

>>6857

Also to add, I've had two job interviews in the past 2 months.

One was a McDonalds one where they said they would call me, but didn't.

Another was at an restaurant for an assistant cook where I was basically told to stop looking for work in kitchens. It was insanely humiliating.

Let this be a warning to other hikkis. They can smell you.

>>6857

those short term goals sound to be in the right direction. it is much easier to face short term things, and the sense of accomplishment afterwards can boost you into bigger things, little by little, thinking of it as digging yourself out.

I have gone between hikki and not several times now.

the first was over a decade. I was so stuck in my head that I could see no way out of it. many small positive changes and decisions eventually led to my escape.

after less than a year out, I met a girl. she turned out to be crazy and ruined years of work on myself. I fought to improve myself again, found new work, but within months my health suddenly broke.

I kept myself working for some years, but my health has never recovered. when I stopped work, i went back to isolation. then escaped again for almost a year, but now back again with no prospects.

if my health hadn't failed, I think I could have permanently escaped with time. like this, I don't know.

it is like alcoholism, you have to constantly fight to stay away from it. constantly live, and avoid isolation, because isolation is our "safety", our drug.

>>5417

this post is deeply true.

video games and films stopped being fun years ago. though that is one thing that helped push me out. the distractions of entertainment weren't working.

>>6860

the only thing that I've found which keeps me away from it consistently, is foricing a routine and habits which force me to be social. I just mean be around people on a regular basis.

one could be work, but that isn't enough. living with flatmates helped a little. going to weekly meetings for hobbies and interests was most important, even when I didn't feel like it, it sort of 'reset' me every time, to talk with people, and to be out doing something.

if I listened to the other voice, saying "don't go, stay in", I would sink down further. in reality I soon realised that just for my own self esteem and sense of accomplishment, going to the meeting just as an action was very positive and important.

join a book reading club, or other quiet things to start with. well, work your way up to that.

the small actions really make a big difference is what I want to say.

i am paranoid about being kicked from this board because I have relapses of 3-6 months at a time and then I have no one to talk to. but I want to help those who haven't found their way out yet.

I wish I could move on from this current hikki life but I have no skills or talents that can make me money, so I'd be stuck doing some simple wageslave job, which sounds awful. I'm stuck leeching off the government with my autismbux. I tried learning programming once or twice but I'm just not intelligent enough for it. Sigh. I'm just going to end up being homeless one day and offing myself from a bridge or pull an hero with a cop's gun.

I'm trying not to fall into the motivation trap as I have many times before. Where you think ``Everything's gonna be different. I'll do this and this and oh this too!''; maybe you'll do some shit but most likely you'll just be planning it all. We all love to plan oh so much don't we? We can go on and on in detail of what were gonna do and how we'll execute our ideas, but barely anything will fall through. Or I should say all of it falls through a god damn black hole. This time though I think there's a difference in how I'm thinking, that being that I'm not having these grandeur idealizations. I'll never be a part of the functioning of normal society, at least not fully. And I can't really ever be social, but what I can do is slowly improve myself and that's exactly what I want to do. I look around my room and I have trash piled up everywhere, I'm obese and tired all the time, and my only real hobby is reading (which I've gotten back into at full force, which is great).

What I want to do is start building upon myself, slowly, piece by piece. I have incredibly poor hygiene, so that is what I first want to work on: keeping the apartment and my room clean, showering and brushing my teeth. If I can do this for a month, then next I want to change my diet. I've lost weight before on just diet alone, 50lbs in fact over a year, but I've gained it all back. Once I sustain that for a month, I'll be starting to do something which is very anti-hikki (at which time I will leave this place per the rules): going to the gym. I'm always going to be the sort of person that is closed up in my room, that's just how I am, but I do intend to go to the gym in months time if I stick with any of this. I make no retarded promises of self-motivation, just matter-of-factly recognizing what I want to do, and how I can realistically approach it.

Society is fucked and has no redeeming qualities. Only individuals are worth anything. I don't plan to work (I'm on SSI) or re-integrate but I refuse to rot in my room not doing what I want. I have the chance and opportunity to do nearly whatever I want and I'll do just that. Hikki's, I don't think this is where we end. I think this can be another step to something else, maybe greater, or maybe just different. I think we can never really go back, unless by pure faking it, but we can do something different.

>>2637

If you need diet and exercise help to overcome yournpain issues, i can help anon

>>6983

Right now I'm just doing research on dieting and such. Last time I lost 50lbs in a year doing simple portion control, so I should be able to do it again this time doing portion control and actually healthy food but I'm not sure what I'm looking at. Any good resources for information on diets and such?

>>6985

Ray Peat. His stuff is hard to read because it's scientific. He advocates a higher metabolism, which would help you adapt faster to normal life.

>>6984

>now I forgot most of everything I learned to go apply for a job.

I know this feeling, I did a cert class to try and make up for years of no job, but forgot everything within a month or two of getting the cert

>>2649

>>3141

>>3305

These are my posts from about a year and a half to two years ago.

I still think about you guys even if I stopped posting since I am no longer a hikki having joined the work force.

I believe I have successfully reintegrated society.

Let me know if you guys want to talk about something.

BO, if you are still here and in charge, I remember your housing situation from 2 years ago being pretty bad. I hope it got better.

Later!

>>7554

>I believe I have successfully reintegrated society.

>Let me know if you guys want to talk about something.

What motivated you to reintegrate? How did you do it? What did you do to learn normal social skills? Did you have any leftover resentment against society and how did you deal with it?

Sorry for the late replies guys.

>>7587

I am not the one who started working at walmart, no. I quite enjoy walks out at night, personally.

>>7619

>What motivated you to reintegrate?

For me it was the fact that I know that the lifestyle wasn't sustainable for me. I can and still do live with my parents, and if I didn't work I would have all my expenses covered, but for how long? I figured the sooner I started reintergrating, the easier it would be.

>How did you do it?

Signed up for school and went. Got an internship after my formation and work for the government now.

>What did you do to learn normal social skills?

Experience, I guess. Most of it was learned through exposure. Maintaining a conversation is as simple as asking questions. Ask a question they can't answer with yes or no, you get them going for a good 30 seconds. Majority of people just like hearing themselves talk.

Something else that came as an epiphany to me that you may know already but really helped for me was that being a social human being is all about surface level appearances and facades. Asking how people are doing, pretending to care about what they do on the weekend, etc. Pretending to care makes people like you, pretending that you are always 100% happy makes people like you. Always smiling makes people like you.

And that people are extremely conflict adverse and dislike negativity. I don't know why, but you disliking something, even given valid reasons will often make people have a poorer opinion of you.

So simply, I avoid conflict unless necessary, and apply the "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing" rule.

I really dislike that this is how life works, but it is what it is. What I'm about to say next will probably sound sociopathic or something, and it might be, but the way I operate these days is that, if I'm interacting with someone, especially in a professional setting, I will lie and pretend that everything is fantastic. Nothing too outrageous, but usually if I'm asked whether I like or enjoyed something, almost all the time the answer will be yes regardless of what I actually think. Why do I do this? It's not because I care about what these people think about me on a personal level, but I understand that if they like me they will be more likely to do things that benefit me. Sometimes you will encounter people where you don't need to put up this facade. These are the people you want as friends.

> Did you have any leftover resentment against society and how did you deal with it?

Yes and no.Going through it, I will say I do think it has made develop a vastly different outlook on life/society than others around me. I do not chase material pursuits much, definitely not as much as other early 20s people. This has led to me having put aside a pretty decent chunk of cash in my bank account that goes unused. I don't chase girls at all either. I suppose there is an aspect of resentment involved, yes. I understand that on the one hand I put myself in this position, but on the other, I had 0 help to pull myself out of it, and almost no one frankly speaking is understanding or even wants to acknowledge that this is a big problem for a sizable bulk of the population. At best, people are unaware, at worst, they hate you for being a "leech" even though I can't speak for you guys but the reason I got to be a hikki in the first place was basically because I dropped out of school because of bullying and it just got worse from there.

In the end, this has left me with a fuck everyone else besides family and close friends outlook. I take what I can earn from society, but when it's time to give back, I only do so to those I believe 100% deserve it.

How did I deal with it? I guess I haven't, lol. I just make sure it never slips through my words/behavior.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help with.

>>6981

whats the reason you are on SSI?

>>2611

move on and be strong. I chose to stay at home and not have a job ever in the "outside world" and I go outside to do things like running or reading a couple pages. It doesn't mean being in a bad spot in life rather it's what you chose and in no definition digging ones own grave. There's no failure unless you leech of your parents like the guy in the anime.