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/hikki/ - Hikikomori

The modern hermit
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A WARNING TO ALL NEW USERS IF YOU ARE NOT A HIKIKOMORI I WILL BAN YOU!! People who are going to work or school are not Hikikomori There are many people on here who can not leave their home Please choose your topic with consideration IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AT HOME INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OR MORE THEN DON'T POST HERE!

File: 6e1fdde644b3cd0⋯.jpg (917.17 KB,750x1039,750:1039,1Vl8PZ6.jpg)

81980c No.6 [View All]

Who here has found inner peace whilst being a hikki?

13 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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7c70a1 No.213

>>212

Thanks.

As for considering myself to be ex-hikki, nah not really. Even though I might've counted as one on some technicalities, it wasn't really on my mind because my main issue/situation is being a NEET. And during my first year into being a NEET, I stopped hating myself so much when I was finally being able to improve myself.

I still have issues but instead of them being 90% of my daily thoughts, they're only like 5-7% at the moment. I know that I can't completely un-fuck my mind but eventually I hope to make these horrible thoughts at least 1% only or less.

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6eab9d No.216

File: e75a8503b324b5d⋯.jpg (100.76 KB,802x1000,401:500,welcome-to-nhk-vecto-satou.jpg)

>>213

>I still have issues but instead of them being 90% of my daily thoughts, they're only like 5-7% at the moment. I know that I can't completely un-fuck my mind but eventually I hope to make these horrible thoughts at least 1% only or less.

Have you watched Welcome to the NHK?? its an anime about a hikkiNEET named Satou who tries to recover and fix himself its very good and it holds a special place in my heart

>I know that i cant completely un-fuck my mind

I think after recovery most hikikomori and NEETS dont ever become fully normal there is always a part of us that remains fucked forever.

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987e51 No.217

>>216

I watched that show 2 weeks ago but I wonder is there any other anime talk about the same topic and either at the same level of interesting to get my attention and talk about hikkis, in order to watch the whole series and don't get bored after 2 episodes ?

not the anon you replied him

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7c70a1 No.218

>>216

I have not yet. I should, though. I already have it but surprise surprise, like many NEETs, at the moment I have low motivation to even watch anime.

>I think after recovery most hikikomori and NEETS dont ever become fully normal there is always a part of us that remains fucked forever.

Yeah, I think of it like a crumpled piece of paper. Yes you can still uncrumple and unfold it, or even try to flatten it, but no matter what, that piece of paper will still always have the creases and the leftover marks from when it was all crumpled. Just like the hikki and/or NEET mind will always have residues from being fucked.

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6eab9d No.219

File: 9687cfad5548010⋯.jpg (228.9 KB,402x567,134:189,Welcome_to_the_NHK.jpg)

>>217

Listen to the Welcome to the NHK audio book of the novel on YouTube the book is better than the anime to be honest but me personally i like them both as far as other hikikomori anime Rozen Maiden is another one of my favorites and a true classic about a teenage boy named Sakurada Jun who is in his early years of being a hikki but later he ends up with an antique doll named Shinku that comes to life and believes him to be her servant. As one thing leads to another it is also where the desu meme came from by the way so you know it's good shit lol.

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6eab9d No.220

>>218

>Yeah, I think of it like a crumpled piece of paper. Yes you can still uncrumple and unfold it, or even try to flatten it, but no matter what, that piece of paper will still always have the creases and the leftover marks from when it was all crumpled. Just like the hikki and/or NEET mind will always have residues from being fucked.

You are very smart i like your perspective on this.

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ed5a6c No.221

>Who here has found inner peace whilst being a hikki?

Not really. But I've found peace with the idea of death/suicide. I now can't see myself going out any other way.

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6eab9d No.222

>>221

>Not really. But I've found peace with the idea of death/suicide. I now can't see myself going out any other way.

I know how you feel anon.

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bca576 No.226

>>218

>Yeah, I think of it like a crumpled piece of paper. Yes you can still uncrumple and unfold it, or even try to flatten it, but no matter what, that piece of paper will still always have the creases and the leftover marks from when it was all crumpled

That's a very accurate analogy, anon, well said. I think it comes from all the time the average hikki spends in isolation, the emotional damage leaves scars that stay with you forever.

>>219

I will certainly give these a watch.

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6eab9d No.230

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>226

>I will certainly give these a watch.

Here is chapter 1 of the audio book.

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6eab9d No.340

File: 6e8113a4480c866⋯.pdf (3.43 MB,Welcome To The NHK..pdf)

>>226

Here is the pdf file of the Welcome To The NHK book if you want to have the book on your computer.

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9489ac No.341

File: 40355952924acdc⋯.jpg (139.79 KB,1201x1250,1201:1250,Momoji 007.jpg)

I sometimes have moments of peace when the thought comes to me that I should not care about the way my life is going but just relax and that nothing matters so it's fine. I would not say this happens often though. Most the time it is the opposite and I worry I am wasting my life and I worry that I am going to end up a middle age man still living with my mother, that is probably what bothers me most. I have pretty much come to realise I am not going to ever enter society but I at least want my own place to live and not to have to live with my mum.

>>172

What do you work at home doing?

>>203

I made a board the other bay but it's not really a Neet board per say, I don't know what it is really but Neets and Hikikomoris are most welcome. https://8ch.net/emm/index.html

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6eab9d No.342

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>341

>I sometimes have moments of peace when the thought comes to me that I should not care about the way my life is going but just relax and that nothing matters so it's fine. I would not say this happens often though. Most the time it is the opposite and I worry I am wasting my life and I worry that I am going to end up a middle age man still living with my mother, that is probably what bothers me most.

I can relate to this there are times when i do feel that i am at peace because lets be honest here there are some aspects about being a hikikomori that are great which makes the lifestyle very comfy tbh but most of the time i really don't feel that way and i do worry that i could end up like video related.

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10be8c No.421

Hey /hikki/ I thought hikkis might be able to relate to this thing I wrote for NEETs or hikkis who want to recover and get out of their situations. It's mostly from my NEET perspective though, so since it doesn't directly apply to hikkis, I posted it here in this thread called "NEETLIFE" so I won't clutter the board with this /blogpost.

Title: The thing about NEETness is that it doesn’t feel like it’s the rock bottom.

This time of life has definitely felt like a personal rock bottom. I’ve felt like I’ve been through a shittier time when I was in uni (long story short, I had persistent suicidal ideations and felt like the loneliest I’d ever been, among a slew of other shitty things), but this time of NEETness seems worse overall. I mean: relatives ridiculing, questioning, and probing me; possible employers most likely passing on me because of failing grades and large gap in education/employment history; and me getting older, more tired, jaded when there is fresh, young, well-educated talent around every graduation season every year.

And if not, it’s the most rock bottom I’ve ever been. Even worse than what I expected back when I was a high-achieving starry-eyed hopeful individual.

But no, this sugarcoated NEET life for the past 2 years is as fulfilling as an oil-saturated sugar-filled glazed doughnut when what you need is an actual warm, fresh meal. And I’m not out of doughnuts yet.

I see many posts about veteran (I’m talking 5-10 years) NEETs and hikkis whose hobbies have lost their charm after the same "daily routine” had been done for years upon years. It’s sad, because these things and activities are what the child in us back then thought were cool, and were supposed to be sources of limitless fun. It’s a symptom of depression, this *anhedonia* (def: “inability to feel pleasure.”) despite engaging in pleasurable activities, and it surely doesn’t feel so nice.

Some foolish weaboo normies, hikki pretenders, and NEET LARPers have tended to idealize the NEET lifestyle, thinking it stands for “true freedom,” the freedom from the responsibilities of a healthy, functioning human being, and the promise of endless luxury and comfort through games, manga, anime etc. This is partly because of the fault of some tropes in anime and in greater weeb culture as well, considering the stereotype that what all NEETs do is play vidya and watch anime all day.

Characters like Umaru-chan (who goes to school and is a student: ergo, not a NEET) and Futaba Anzu (who works as an idol: ergo, not a NEET) don’t help at all the idealization of the condition, the affliction that is NEETness. Even though by definition they are not NEETs, people can’t help but say that they are. (Going on a tangent, I understand that what they do are what are known as NEET activities, so they may be considered even colloquially “NEETs at heart,” which I don’t disagree with, however this means that this *still* doesn’t help the reputation of IRL NEETs who really neet to be taken seriously if they are to be helped at all.)

It’s like when people say that they’re “like, totally OCD” or that they’re “soooo depressed” when their crush failed to notice them from 20 feet away. Normies gonna norm.

If you’ve seen Tim Urban’s pieces on procrastination [1][2], using his terminology, the whole NEET lifestyle of “living_the_dream.jpg” is what can be called the “Dark Playground” (guilty, unearned pleasure) but on overdrive and long-term extension, where people who are not NEETs/hikkis-by-choice feel guilt and maybe even emptiness when doing these supposedly fun activities.

So yes, because I'm still able to do these activities, NEET life does not feel “rock bottom” at all, or at least rock bottom enough for me to get off my ass and better myself and get out of this pathetic state. So much for being /comfy/.

[1] https://wait but why .com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

[2] You’ll find more about the “Dark Playground” in this second part of his procrastination article here: https://wait but why .com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html

/endblog. Again, sorry if other hikkis here can't relate to this comment very well because it's mostly from a NEET perspective. I thought that hikkiNEETs (especially those with no neet/autismbux) would be able to relate with this feeling of guilt and being stuck as well.

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10be8c No.422

>>421

Also I will delete this if it is irrelevant. Just say so

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6eab9d No.423

File: ac9fd8aaba14760⋯.jpg (190.33 KB,624x480,13:10,1417576628175.jpg)

>>421

Thanks for sharing this a lot of what is written in your blog post is true such as

>I see many posts about veteran (I’m talking 5-10 years) NEETs and hikkis whose hobbies have lost their charm after the same "daily routine” had been done for years upon years. It’s sad, because these things and activities are what the child in us back then thought were cool, and were supposed to be sources of limitless fun. It’s a symptom of depression,

This has happened to me as over the years i have lost the motivation to really do anything now i just sit at a computer all night and browse the same exact places every night and if i am not doing that im just sleeping hell i barely watch movies anymore as well i honestly sometimes feel like i don't recognize myself entirely i feel like a shell of my former self tbh i also feel drained of life and very tired which is why now i just merely exist i guess i honestly can't see myself living past 25 tbh.

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4f0d48 No.433

>>341

>I have pretty much come to realise I am not going to ever enter society but I at least want my own place to live and not to have to live with my mum.

Having your own place and privacy is key for a lot of peace of mind, actually. Having other people around or who share your own personal space isn't for everyone. Even if you have your own room, living under your parent's roof is shit if you're an adult….whether you're normie as fuck or the most reclusive hikki. Just having the ability to deadbolt the door and tell the world to fuck off means so much.

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4f0d48 No.434

>>423

>living past 25

33 here. The days are long but the years are short and get shorter all the time. I remember being 18 like it was yesterday. I still haven't found my purpose, living at home is the worst but I have no other options…everything is stupid expensive here and I have no means of really supporting myself on my own without being 100% reliant on welfare, autismbux, or wagecucking and being rent poor and giving all my shekels to landlords and utilities and having fuck all to show for it at the end of the month

Even at my best times when I had a job it was always night shifts, alone. The depression is always there, but sometimes it just hits you in this crashing wave, the overwhelming sense of futility and despair. It isn't even a negative voice in your head telling you you're shit, its just that horrible wall of pure emotional shame and guilt that just hits you like a truck. That's the worst really…its like your soul is crying out in this wordless scream and no one is there to answer it

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6eab9d No.443

File: c9ebe493a246e57⋯.jpg (94.35 KB,291x273,97:91,1457387266448.jpg)

>>434

> The depression is always there, but sometimes it just hits you in this crashing wave, the overwhelming sense of futility and despair. It isn't even a negative voice in your head telling you you're shit, its just that horrible wall of pure emotional shame and guilt that just hits you like a truck. That's the worst really…its like your soul is crying out in this wordless scream and no one is there to answer it

This is so true i know that feel bro.

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7edca0 No.444

File: c50d3f767b386a3⋯.jpg (58.73 KB,700x574,50:41,1467550924484.jpg)

I spent my teenage years believing that I could not be happy while alone, so I pursued relationships everywhere I went. Wasted at least seventeen years on that. Finally settled in, gave up on friendships, started spending all my time on my hobbies. Though it's funny, that every time I bring it up, even on other fullchan boards, people get outraged, spouting "not all people" and trying to convince me that I cannot be happy and fulfilled without friends. Really, I see the opposite to be true, because I've never been happy WITH 'friends'.

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6eab9d No.445

File: 634fb0a39871795⋯.jpg (222.48 KB,512x600,64:75,1502338062342.jpg)

>>444

There comes a point in time where you usually just stop giving a fuck and don't wanna talk to anyone or see anyone.

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c6dad8 No.446

>>444

>I see the opposite to be true, because I've never been happy WITH 'friends'.

I've been friends with a lot of people over the years and I tell you for sure that making friends is just a waste of fucking time. When you try to, you find out that they're either weird as fuck or just the opposite of what you think about them. Not only that but being friends with everyone is like treating them as your liaisons instead. Would rather just have a couple or none at all instead of being friends with everyone.

>>445

Exactly. That's why I try to avoid people that I can't stand to be around or talking to because they're somehow stupid. Well at least to me. I hate to waste time with people who can't understand or be open-minded.

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6eab9d No.448

File: 94b57ccf5239f07⋯.jpg (182.43 KB,720x1107,80:123,1501283089370.jpg)

>>446

>Exactly. That's why I try to avoid people that I can't stand to be around or talking to because they're somehow stupid

I tend to avoid most people as i feel society in general is just mean spirited.

>I hate waste time with people who can't understand or be open-minded.

Same here and i think the majority of people have this trait my parents use to be concerned with me being a hikikomori but have pretty much stopped caring at this point and so have i i see no future for me tbh.

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b10cf3 No.456

File: fc4d5a171585429⋯.png (158.61 KB,267x368,267:368,reptile detector senses th….png)

it nice, to have everyone out of your life and you get to research, reflect, and rethink your life

maybe hikki-life is like the new mountain hermit life (except for the fact that you don't get to enjoy outdoors, but you can at least see some of the world in HD)

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6eab9d No.457

File: 8ddd57c12a677c2⋯.jpg (58.36 KB,462x454,231:227,8ddd57c12a677c299227a5eb22….jpg)

>>456

>Maybe hikki-life is like the new mountain hermit life (except for the fact that you don't get to enjoy outdoors

That is exactly what it is and why would we wanna enjoy outside when the world hates us anyway?? i only go outside for food and that's about it also anon how long have you been a hikki??.

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b10cf3 No.458

File: c81d63fc6224414⋯.jpg (405.33 KB,1920x1080,16:9,fringe woods.jpg)

>>457

I mean the real outdoors, not down the street.

I've been hikki for many years. I had a job but quit, and did go to college, now I take online university classes.

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6eab9d No.459

>>458

>I been a hikki for many years

>Did go to college

>Now i take online university classes.

Do you take online university classes just to be productive while in isolation?.

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b10cf3 No.461

>>459

too poor to move

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7edca0 No.464

File: 4922202b9e99fd5⋯.png (192.28 KB,459x624,153:208,1458736551033.png)

>>446

I had some enjoyment with other people, but due to how painful the inevitable betrayal and abandonment is, I just gave up entirely on the concept.

>>448

>I tend to avoid most people as i feel society in general is just mean spirited.

They just have a way of operating that will never change. You HAVE to pretend to be someone else. With everyone you meet, you have to tell them a different story to keep them around. That, and you have to be interested in smalltalk, in whatever "funny LOL XD" things they saw on social media that day. On top of that, every conversation was a minefield, where anything you say can be offensive so you can't really say anything at all.

>>457

I love going on walks at 3-4 a.m., right before bed. No people around, and I get to walk around the old neighborhood. So calming and peaceful.

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6eab9d No.465

>>464

>I had some enjoyment with other people, but due to how painful the inevitable betrayal and abandonment is, I just gave up entirely on the concept.

Same here.

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c6dad8 No.467

>>464

>every conversation was a minefield, where anything you say can be offensive so you can't really say anything at all.

Tell me about it. I can't even have a good conversation if the person can't understand at all or somehow I offended that person with the most simple words. The small talk that you mentioned is not a real small talk. Just retarded shit because they can't comprehend a little more advanced stuff to talk about. And when I mean advanced stuff, I mean stuff they actually don't care about like philosophy and what not.

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6eab9d No.468

File: bfb2d6a552f4024⋯.gif (2.66 MB,680x383,680:383,763.gif)

>>467

>Tell me about it. I can't even have a good conversation if the person can't understand at all or somehow I offended that person with the most simple words. The small talk that you mentioned is not a real small talk. Just retarded shit because they can't comprehend a little more advanced stuff to talk about. And when I mean advanced stuff, I mean stuff they actually don't care about like philosophy and what not.

Same i also deal with this though i honestly feel that the majority of normalfags are all just that dumb tbh.

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7edca0 No.469

File: 5fd51f73313556d⋯.gif (310.4 KB,500x359,500:359,5fd51f73313556da513f3b995b….gif)

>>467

>>468

I don't even consider myself to be that smart, but my interests simply don't overlap with those of normies. When I bring up game development, they start moaning about how amazing Undertale and FNAF is and ask if mine will be similar to those two. When I bring up cooking, they don't really have much to offer in terms of interesting conversation either. They will eat my food, but no real advise or criticism other than "is good lol". I don't really have any interests outside of that, so it has to turn to smalltalk which simply pisses me off more than anything.

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bca576 No.471

File: 8bb4c8cd176a3da⋯.png (766.43 KB,821x1204,821:1204,8bb4c8cd176a3da0c09eef3b0f….png)

>>467

>Just retarded shit because they can't comprehend a little more advanced stuff to talk about. And when I mean advanced stuff, I mean stuff they actually don't care about like philosophy and what not.

This drives me crazy. I remember back in highschool, I always wanted to find people to discuss science, history, and philosophy with, but no one fit the bill. Everyone just wanted to talk about some stupid videos they saw on youtube that they thought were so hilarious, or some dreadful new album by some overrated rapper, or their plans to get high on the weekend. I'm no genius, but I thought that even attempting to question and debate the world around me would be stimulating and rewarding, but no one cared, they were all so simple and two-dimensional. They were all the same exact product, just with different packaging. It really soured my worldview knowing that people were so content to press on with their lives without any kind of critical thought involved. It's definitely a contributing factor as to why I am a complete loner now. People didn't want me, now I don't want them.

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66a923 No.472

File: 403b6eb822eafa5⋯.jpg (35.37 KB,484x497,484:497,1467572079382.jpg)

>>471

>I remember back in highschool, I always wanted to find people to discuss science, history, and philosophy with, but no one fit the bill. Everyone just wanted to talk about some stupid videos they saw on youtube that they thought were so hilarious, or some dreadful new album by some overrated rapper, or their plans to get high on the weekend. I'm no genius, but I thought that even attempting to question and debate the world around me would be stimulating and rewarding, but no one cared, they were all so simple and two-dimensional. They were all the same exact product, just with different packaging. It really soured my worldview knowing that people were so content to press on with their lives without any kind of critical thought involved. It's definitely a contributing factor as to why I am a complete loner now. People didn't want me, now I don't want them.

I know that feel bro i actually went through the exact same thing you went through i was bullied for being interested in history and philosophy sometimes i would refuse to go to class and i would just sit in the hallway and cry because i was being treated like shit and nobody understood me which later led me to start skipping school and staying home on some days and then ending up a hikikomori and exactly i feel the same way as you People didn't want me then. now I don't want them ether.

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66a923 No.473

>>469

> my interests simply don't overlap with those of normies.

Same

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bca576 No.482

File: ae2d9ea2607cf11⋯.gif (392.96 KB,500x375,4:3,1468896978954.gif)

>>472

>i would refuse to go to class and i would just sit in the hallway and cry because i was being treated like shit and nobody understood me which later led me to start skipping school and staying home on some days and then ending up a hikikomori

I skipped school a lot too. Sometimes I would leave school in the middle of the day and walk home because I didn't live too far from the school. I eventually dropped out and fell into the hikikomori lifestlye. I was like that for a few years then I got a part-time job and went to college. I got sick of the part-time job and quit after a year, and after I finished college, I couldn't manage to get a job and gave up looking. I am a hikikomori once more and have been that way for about a year and a half now.

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7edca0 No.484

File: aa5edd8031ce5e9⋯.png (1.57 MB,1298x973,1298:973,aa5edd8031ce5e92aa65ddd453….png)

>>482

>>472

>skipping class

Oh fuck, I did that too. I had to take the bus to school, but in 10th to 12th grade, I'd get on the bus, ride it to the last stop, then ride it back the entire way, which took like three hours. I'd play vidya on the way. By the time the bus came back home, my mom would be out for work so she wouldn't notice.

>your teachers said that you'd fail high school for skipping so much

>you still passed better than half the class because you're not completely retarded

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6eab9d No.486

>>482

>I eventually dropped out and fell into the hikikomori lifestlye. I was like that for a few years then I got a part-time job and went to college. I got sick of the part-time job and quit after a year, and after I finished college, I couldn't manage to get a job and gave up looking. I am a hikikomori once more

This is me i was a hikikomori from 2007-2012 and again 2014-now.

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c2bb8a No.512

File: e5936f6227d23bb⋯.png (1013.43 KB,849x893,849:893,1380323315080.png)

Not really, but then again then again I don't think I would feel at peace being a NEET or wageslave anyway.

>>482

>>472

>>484

I skipped quite alot of my later secondary school days due to how much I hated it, would pretend to leave and just sit in the park for an hour waiting for everyone in the house to leave for work before heading back home and playing vidya and lurking the internet and either not bother going in or going in midday for an attendance mark.

Still passed pretty much everything of value and I'm not really that smart to begin with.

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6e4e74 No.514

>>512

>>484

In middle school i would skip class and go take a nap in the nurses office even though i wasn't sick or go hide in the bathroom.

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c76007 No.633

>>6

I don't find peace in leeching off my own time I could spend on being a better person and a successful entepreneur and money and resources from my mother.

I want this to come to an end.

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c61580 No.646

>>633

Success only happens if other people allow it.

If people were nice, you wouldn't be a hikki.

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5d9a6a No.661

>>646

it depends on subjects (us) as well

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0c829c No.6325

I haven't been a hikki for as long as some of you I'm sure but I feel like I have, yes.

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8c3d13 No.6327

>>6325

>I haven't been a hikki for as long as some of you I'm sure but I feel like I have, yes.

How long have you been a hikikomori anon?

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02e23e No.6328

I feel at peace when nobody's around and actually love being alone, so I kinda have. Unfortunately I have to mooch off my parents and that trumps my happiness so Im working towards a viable hermit life with wifi

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8c3d13 No.6344

File: 57edc53b5fb3fa5⋯.jpg (50.28 KB,420x514,210:257,57edc53b5fb3fa568750b47c49….jpg)

>>6328

>I'm working towards a viable hermit life with wifi

Sounds comfy anon.

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35e31a No.6345

>>6327

about 7 months now

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aac871 No.6347

The portion of people in online suicide communities who are NEET is astounding. I wonder if it can be anything more than a local maximum.

Everyone should get sabbaticals in life too though. There are people who never get to spend 6 months, 3 months, or even 1 month to themselves in their whole lives.

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