>be traveler staying in a small desert town
>trying to head to Las Vegas to find a person who stole my precious thing
>ask the locals for directions
<"The roads north of here are dangerous traveler. You should probably head south and loop around the I-15 to get to Vegas."
<"I advise going south traveler. Dangerous beasts live in the north of here that even experienced travelers should stay the hell away from."
<"A feller wants to get to Vegas, he should probably head south and loop around Interstate 15 through Highway 95 and head up to Vegas from there. Roads north of here are too dangerous to travel through I'm afraid."
>decide to go north because the townsfolk were unhelpful and gave me vague answers
>numerous signs telling me to go back
>friendly cowgirl automaton warns me to stay away from the north since dangerous things live there
>these people are so useless I swear…
>continue on the path north
>hear a noise over my 24/7 Johnny Guitar playlist
>vaguely sounds like rapid flapping and heavy breathing
>immediately stabbed from behind
>I feel a little woozy
>cock is inexplicably harder than Dead Money on Hardcore
>turn around
>pic related
<"Hiya! Are you lost friend?"
>tried to shoot her with my silenced .22 pistol
>forgot I spent all of the ammo shooting at coyotes
>get stabbed in the stomach
<"Yeah, you look a little lost… Don't worry! I'll call my friends and we can all help you back on your path! Juanita! Bonita! Yolanda! Felina! Maria! Sofia! Come over here! This poor man is lost!"
>several more of her kind fly over to me at the speed of a Mario 64 TAS
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