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File: 0024f43de8a9ae8⋯.png (8.03 KB,900x490,90:49,0_zYUetDmNMwm5Jx3x.png)

 No.875 [Open thread]

i just want to go back in my room and jack off

i'll do a shitty reward system where i write some code and then jack off.

it should be pretty obvious who i am

self hating nigger trying to save all niggers with crypto. awesome

recently gave up, just going to give in to making my life a hate nigger thread.

I'm over stressing 2020

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 No.876

i gave up my family for this

i don't get to take any days off

i would have been miserable in that marriage anyway

i really would have

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 No.904

Is it a brand new reward system or did you manage to keep it long-term?

Also was it an arranged marriage? If so, is this in the US or abroad?

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File: 6ac46a1ddf7995d⋯.jpg (70.28 KB,642x1063,642:1063,0a12ad74d59982d75127f51779….jpg)

 No.371 [Open thread]

you were a belligerent cunt ever since I brought you on to ***. You're fucking clueless if you think that you can tell me that you can confess your love me and expect me to swap & adopt my baby into a marriage with you. I didn't lose anything.

4 postsomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.864

>>393

>I fell in love with 2020. I’ve been in love with 2020

2020 is almost over

the stargate is almost complete.

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 No.865

I'm lucky.

For now

and I don't know…

I'm just tired.

I have this gig.

I am just going to save money.

just save.

That's it.

I have to buy time after this thing.

i have to get the betting up.

oh yeah. that's what i came here for.

something about me being a pedophile.

i hate it.

i forgot what exactly i was going to go off about.

i'll be okay

i'll be okay

just gotta get some stuff done

why did i do this?

because I didn't want to be held up to anything.

because I felt this was dangerous

because I just wanted to lock myself away into work

i didn't want to connect with people.

I can't at this point.

i don't have any idea of that.

everything has always been about cold cold power.

i have this thing now. it's powerful. and I'm transparent.

I could be bad.

It's taken everything to come up with this. idk.

maybe it's nothing. but no one else saw it. i seized it.

i just want to be fucking free.

i just want to be rich and powerful and i want everything to love me.

women.

but i can't.

there's a trade off.

and my trade off is that i have to be soft for this. to be able to achieve this.

in so many ways.

i'm losing hair.

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 No.866

i don't even know what i want out of females anymore.

little girls.

or women? women eh.

and little girls are risky.

and that shit makes me sick sometimes.

it just all makes me sick.

i just want my family back.

i want to be done with this trench work and i want my family back and i want to be the boss.

and not be obsessed and not be a the "rockstar worker" and just fucking be normal.

i'm okay with my family now.

i'll sleep with a few different women to make up for her cheating on me. whatever. and i'll just have my family.

i don't want anything else. that's it. i don't want the crazy shit anymore.

i want to stop smoking.

i want to stop drinking.

i want my family back. all the way back.

i want to be truly loved.

i want my hair to grow back. i want to get in shape. but i don't want to look like a loser that just worked out.

i want to have a good reason to get away from the computer and not just a fabricated one.

i want to feel like a man without having to think about how to feel like a man.

i want my daughter to grow up innocent.

i want to fall in love with my wife again. i want to have more kids.

i don't want anything else. i hope the money makes up for all of my mistakes.

I'm not crazy. I'm just smart. and I'm just desperate because I feel extinct and insignificant. and i just want to be free and happy.

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 No.867

i coudl have just done it right without acting crazy.

but i'm tired of "doing things right"

I don't want to be a messiah. i just want to be anonymous.

that's what i should have done.

maybe in my next life time.

maybe i'll get it right. i hope so

maybe in my next life time my nose wont be so large either. and wont look so dopey.

that's the only thing i hate in combination with being black.

otherwise i wouldn't mind.

but i guess anyone would hate having a nose that isn't perfect.

i can't make friends now.

they're all online

and they aren't really friends

they are just there for money.

cooking some rice.

i have to work.

step by step. i just have to get it done.

it's almost done.

i've made some really bad mistakes in the past.

i'm horrible.

i don't know what to believe out of life.

i really don't.

i just want my family back.

idk.

her family doesn't like me.

i need something.

i'm sick of doing this.

i didn't pass the test. i failed.

i'm weak. i get it. i failed. again and again.

maybe if i wasn't a victim of that cult. i'd be okay.

i would have been just as smart. without the cult extremism.

and obsessiveness.

obsessiveness… maybe i did need that though.

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 No.902

I read a wholesome text about money and for more than 20 minutes I was trying to remember that situation when I needed to earn more money just to eat something. I started working when I was a student and It was a really hard time because I spent more than 10 hours a day on my work and then I needed to travel to another place just to sleep. Right now I am starting using https://paydaysay.com/choose-online-loans-with-monthly-payments.php this kind of a service and it helps me to buy what I want and now this is my additional income that I love!

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File: c952ea51071529c⋯.jpeg (74.93 KB,600x400,3:2,061E8ABB-7549-4628-9A34-9….jpeg)

 No.760 [Open thread]

I’ve recently become a faggot. A real sad faggot at that. A girl I got really close to dumped me and got together with one of my closest friends. Me and this guy had many hours spent together on tf2 servers with 170 ping and csgo comp getting railed by smurfs. Those were good times and yet for some reason I can’t remember it ever being particularly fun. I laughed, I guess. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed it? Not sitting around doing nothing? Regardless, I moved on, sort of, and life was normal once again. Went into school and became friends with a great big bunch of people all of whom have now somehow gone in every direction opposite from each other besides one or two. I’m talking about 25-30 people here, mind you. Again, I felt that weird sadness. I can’t really describe it but it is what it is. I played lots of vidya to forget about it and I did. However, eventually tf2 got bumfuck boring and csgo was just a cesspool of “edshot machine” wannabes, hackers, and the same strats used every time but with slight variations.

One of my friends that ended up floatin away was an Overwatch player. He’d regularly reach top 500 NA every season or so and encouraged me to play it. My goal was to get good enough to become his equal and perhaps surpass him in the process. Finally, I felt happy again. A purpose in life that would require actual effort. After a month or two in I was frustrated. I just couldn’t get past a certain rank. No matter how well I played, how smartly I played or even what strats I used. i just couldn’t get past that elusive skill rating. To make things worse, the one reason I wanted to get better at the game, my friend, moved on. He went onto play a moba or some shit like that. Once more I had that weird sadness. I guess you’d call it melancholy. It’s just so fucking frustrating. Every time something goes my way it just yeets, 180s, and fucking leaves for a pack of cigarettes from the 7-11, never to return. I don’t fucking get it and for the first time ever, I’m more sad than angry. Would that make me one of those extroverts that absolutely requires validation when they achieve their personal goals? Perhaps. But I wasn’t playing Overwatch to receive praise from the guy, I simply wanted to beat him. In any video game that I played there’d always be a peak level of players and skill. I’d get good enough to impress the average joe or a newcomer but that’s about it. Never would I get past that level whPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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 No.899

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 No.900

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File: daaac8bcda43eac⋯.jpg (57.29 KB,640x480,4:3,HNI_0010_MPO.JPG)

 No.418 [Open thread]

I pet my cat today. I wish I had some motivation, but there's not really anything I'm looking forward to. I've always been into programming, but recently I've lost all motivation to work on my projects. I just feel like shitting away time playing Osu instead of doing something productive.

8 postsand1 image replyomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.586

>>584

Unintentional beastiality

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 No.598

>>584

>he

Gay

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 No.599

>>584

That's so freaking doggam hot!

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 No.642

File: 9d15292f05f0cc4⋯.png (321.32 KB,695x849,695:849,SAVE ME.png)

Our cat has already caught two mice in our home and it isn't even halfway through the month yet. This is going to be a long december.

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 No.898

Amazing!

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YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

 No.601 [Open thread]

The plot thickens. I have set plans in motion to expand my influence into places where technically I had no reason to interfere, but power is a game which one should not play for the sake of getting power. You play power for the sake of the game itself, the same as you would play a computer game.

All my pieces are beginning to move into place and a unique opportunity presented itself. I have roughly three months to get my assets to the level where they would expand, at least two of them. The third is already on a good path, at this point I can only influence and impart some knowledge in order to stabilize the situation with the hands of said asset, that would be good as there is a need for the asset to stabilize the situation by own means, without disclosing the full level of my involvement.

Let's see now. The loose end is in my potential expansion's ability to influence those on top to perform a certain action, if it is so, then I will gain territory there very quickly. If not, I wait and see it collapse, then pick the pieces and then make them right. I have already begun subverting the command structure in order to appear as the better option.

If I manage to separate the above from their native organization and take over, the need for a separate organization with me on top will be apparent and the main plan will be complete. The only danger I see at this point is myself being moved away to another area in order for the top to utilize my organization skills. I find this course unlikely due to past occurrences, but in a case it will happen, my native organization is mature enough to be left alone with myself utilizing only overall control and allowing myself to gain further assets elsewhere.

All and all the plan is already in motion and I have prepared for the most probable alternatives. My organization is invested in, my assets expanding, the possibilities presenting themselves as we go on. Now we wait, control and react as things move exactly where I want them to be. Afterwards we begin the next round.

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 No.886

i remember this

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File: 0f93796ee0e8c9a⋯.png (535.92 KB,425x520,85:104,2020_all_over_again.PNG)

 No.877 [Open thread]

I'm beginning to like a boy

maybe it's like a mentor thing

he just keeps throwing himself at me

even though he knows about my "problem"

he could be a spy.

idc

i just want to feel okay

and i'm not advancing on him

i'm not a faggot.but i do like his company

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 No.878

i'm gonna just start accepting things now.

and not resist what i am.

i'm gonna spend time on him

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File: 730a4304aefced9⋯.jpg (2.79 KB,204x248,51:62,mehshin.jpg)

 No.871 [Open thread]

Empty Christmas

I should have never started a family.

I don't know what I want anymore.

I'll just go for what's right in front of me.

The world is bizarre.

she was dangerous for me. not good for me.

I wouldn't be happy.

the lines in my nails are coming back.

I'm a loser. for life.

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 No.873

ari and momo

12 & 8

i'll never be okay

i have to get up now. go to the store and get some food and stuff.

bitcoin is going up. i have to get back to work.

i have to stay motivated

bitcoin is up 7000 passed its ath

jesus

i have to keep working. and i have to learn how to save and not fucking buy weed all the fucking time. like a fucking loser

i can't control anything

alcohol is better and cheaper

please don't be a fucking loser anymore. please

just get this shit done. please don't be a loser anymore

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 No.874

and this fat whale nigger turns on the fan next to me again

talking about fucking whale nigger food under her double chick breath.

fuck. fuck

dirty

too

fucking dirty nigger

i fucking hate black people

i fucking hate being a fucking nigger

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File: 3cebff653b107b0⋯.jpg (72.27 KB,640x790,64:79,IMG-1139.JPG)

 No.303 [Open thread]

I really really really hate my awesome life.

13 postsomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.353

This burden?

How am I supposed to be combat ready if I can't handle these current conditions.

I need to reach a calm in the chaos.

How am I supposed to disregard if I can't restrain myself in the most visible way? her

I can use these things to make me better.

My conditions

Children, a cool in Hellfire

Her, sifting out the noise

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 No.851

i'm still failing

i am so close to success now though.

my project is doing okay

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 No.852

>>851

You getting there op

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 No.869

I had no way of knowing life.

I have a very simple job today.

Just work until someone calls.

i should have never had a family.

but then I'd be extremely deranged

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 No.870

I just need one thing to jump through the stargate. That's it.

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File: e01f8259bae317f⋯.jpg (723.74 KB,1080x1347,360:449,1548151937687.jpg)

 No.677 [Open thread]

I hope nobody ever gets to know me.

Deep down I'm horrible.

And I'm miserable because I will never be perfect.

And that's pathetic, I know. But it's just that it's apparent to everyone else except me. Or so it's made out to be that way. And it pisses me off.

I'm a monster. I wish I could do terrible things to people. I wish I could be a true demon. I'm horrible. I want nothing but to do the worst things to people, and it's something I can't turn away from. but I will never achieve it and that will drive me mad.

I think about getting so stiff inside of little girls.

Mothers forfeiting their children. Hypnosis. Cuck sex ritual mutilation. Farming for virgins.

8 postsomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.744

>>742

it's also confirmed that working out will not make your penis size larger

he was smaller than me.

i told him how i had bad thoughts about kids.

for some reason i needed to do that. i guess.

or else i couldn't be that lg

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 No.764

i'm doing this alone.

and i'm so close.

i just need to work a little bit more. literally just a few more weeks and I'll be set.

i finally figured this whole thing out.

i just need to keep myself reminded of that and not get lost in the darkness of my past relationship. and these child porn charges.

it's within reach.

i can get everything cleared and I can start a new life over again. and i can be happy.

i can live selfishly;. i'll never be committed again unless she's better in every single way physically.

even then she's probably just using me.

so .. never commit

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 No.843

>>764

Believe me, it is good that you recognise this about yourself.

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 No.850

>>843

thanks

My project launched.

I need more money. but once i can buy more time everything is going to be amazing

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 No.868

I am going to stop smoking and drinking after this Christmas.

I hate everything right now.

I should have never started a family. I should have known I was going to be lonely. I should have learned to let go.

6 days of 2020 left.

I can get this thing done.

I just have to focus. Really hard. and go through everything. Diligently.

This thing has to work.

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File: 9a9d7cbd8a02be3⋯.png (93.78 KB,500x750,2:3,tumblr_mz0srdZUGn1sjou3lo1….png)

 No.853 [Open thread]

of course bitcoin is over 20k

and … of course my irresponsible ass has 0

5 postsomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.859

File: 00f04fd51003343⋯.jpg (40.12 KB,300x250,6:5,df34e538e8d046a687d6572a35….jpg)

they are literally roping you in with pedophilia

they are roping you in with sex

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 No.860

fuck… he just sent me some spaghetti shit i can't read and don't want to fucking do. fuck

fuck

fuck money fuck this

i fucking hate this $2000

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 No.861

get this dude his fucking money back and get the fuck out.

he's the one who told me not to get distracted. i fucking hate this

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 No.862

that's what this is.

i am fucking tied up again with this $2000 for some shit i really don't care about. i don't want to fucking do this shit

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 No.863

somebody just sent me $500 for being black and the lead developer of this project

thank fucking god.

I can't do this alone.

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File: 92b1c376e2aaec6⋯.png (1.08 MB,1280x720,16:9,42.png)

 No.204 [Open thread]

I am surprised of all movings I've never been here, though maybe it's too obvious, maybe I don't care, and now that's 3 places consecutively on 8chan, which I hate 8chan I haven't gotten into that recently though it's for the same reason to hate any grouping on the internet exclusively yes there's some similarities to real life probably but not many, but that's 3 all in the same place, like the next 3 olympics taking place in asia, and people may have forgotten already the embarrassing mascots for japan 2020, the anime characters, naruto and sailor moon and goku sure, but I can't understand the others being there, does japan think they're popular outside japan, or even in japan, I don't know, is it a way of advertising anime more abstractly, and of course where is nintendo, don't do these characters, just put pickachu and mario right, I mean they'll probably be there somewhere if they really do have these fucking idiots appear at any point in the ceremonies. But maybe not, is nintendo getting the shaft because their a big monopoly in japan. is japan trying to use this as a way to get it's other things more popular, I guess in that vein did companies pay to have their anime characters as official mascots, well of course fucking not because if that was true we'd actually see the characters we'd expect, and I don't know what's worse. Like who takes the blame for the shameful roster, and just why, it must be a group think it's always a group think, "oh this! ok ok, yeah" and no one says, "hey this is a fucking dumb fucking idea stop" because they're all millionaires with simple big incomes and they juts want to go home it's not like anything they can do can make them make less money. this is how windows 10 got made, and yeah yeah.

27 postsand21 image repliesomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.241

I'm sorry I don't speak leaf.

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 No.318

>>241

The leaf is eternally persecuted, wherever he goes.

Man, I wish our community was as vigilant about jews as they are about leafs and being one.

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 No.847

keeping this from dying so I can read it later. Nothing has really changed since I wrote this, humans are still fucking worthless. I have tried to love humanity and make friends, I've tried to be decent and nice and respectable and honourable but these are not traits that people care about, all that matters is backstabbing and lying and selfishness and EVERY single person who says they care about you or will be your friend is a liar and there's no DUUH YOU JUST HAVEN'T MET THE RIGHT PERSON. because I've tried for years and it's always the same I've met every type of person I've even tried offline I've gone out and tried, I'm no longer interested in a single thing any "human" has to say and I never will I will never help them or care about them.

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 No.849

There's no more my life filter on the board. Still no reason to blog here I'll do it on my own board.

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 No.892

File: 5d0ee6214b62fa1⋯.png (2.39 MB,1920x1080,16:9,4850_13735_10769.png)

being mean like you are, i am light years away from being a bad person. you made your own grave, you can fumble and mumble all about how its everyones fault and not yours. i think i can walk away letting you fall finally. its not me that will suffer anything - instead i might be happier not having to care about you.

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File: 26d417ace8546b2⋯.jpg (142.65 KB,900x540,5:3,zhongdiag.jpg)

 No.257 [Open thread]

my questions are various, and I shall continue this intriguing self-dialectics another time

42 postsand15 image repliesomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.301

>>300

Want as in lack?

>>299

Waiting for one's arrival?

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 No.302

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=SMA9rjRM30M

A king sacrifices nothing.

Proud King of Knights.

The righteousness and ideals you bore may have saved your country once.

However…

I'm sure you know what happened to those who were constantly and only saved.

You saved your subjects but you never led them.

You never showed them what a king should be.

You abandoned your men when they lost their way.

A king must be greedier, laugh louder, and be more furious than everyone else.

This is exactly why his subjects envy and adore him.

He must exemplify the extreme of all things, including good and evil.

And why the flame of wanting to be like the king can burn in the hearts of every civilian.

Glory lies beyond the horizon.

Challenge it because it is unreachable.

Speak of conquest and demonstrate it.

For the sake of my subjects who watch behind me!

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 No.834

I am the OP!

feels nice to find my thread archived in some corner

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 No.845

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even want to go do look more like?

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 No.846

>>845

No, no one has really been far even as decided to use even want to go do look more like. Sadly.

I might make a private php blog for offlining by myself. And whatever else. This has been posted about on /test/.

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File: fb0301231cbf211⋯.png (371.62 KB,576x412,144:103,ClipboardImage.png)

 No.835 [Open thread]

I feel lost. So very lost. Never once have I felt as though I was part of this world. In my eyes, I was always a "monster", while the rest are "human". I hate this. Even though I know that autism is probably why I'm the way I am, I wonder if it's more than that.

I feel so empty. So bored. So meaningless. Like I could clip through the floor at any moment and fall into the planet's core. I just want to be a real man, someone with desires, aspirations, talents and friends.

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 No.838

File: 11a5cc15b664877⋯.png (262.83 KB,540x675,4:5,ClipboardImage.png)

I want to make an RPG Maker game. But unfortunately I'm not a writer who can come up with compelling ideas, an artist who can make the sprites nor even a composer to make the soundtrack. I can't even play a small role in a much larger project.

Although, I think I will try to do all of those things anyways. If I give up, I'll post about it here to ensure that not only angels will laugh at my incompetence. The stakes have been raised.

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 No.839

File: d2eb62b46242511⋯.png (300.13 KB,360x453,120:151,ClipboardImage.png)

Today I spent some time outside. Everyone is inside these days out of fear of getting sick. Finally I'm getting some good quality air in my system.

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 No.840

File: 228cd92c4b3bb5a⋯.png (511.4 KB,549x582,183:194,ClipboardImage.png)

The fact that you choose to represent yourself as a black humanoid makes me think you're a NIGGER.

Think again. It's meant to symbolize the emptiness in my soul. Blacks do not have souls.

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 No.841

File: da3321ed3a107bc⋯.png (16.74 KB,518x457,518:457,ClipboardImage.png)

push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups push ups

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 No.842

Please forgive me for not updating my blog yesterday.

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File: 193065c3d4baa2d⋯.png (49.72 KB,250x275,10:11,clownworld.png)

 No.754 [Open thread]

I found a suicide partner and we'll be killing ourselves on the 13th of July at 1am or so.

We'll be dying by using the charcoal burning method. I'm might livestream it, but it wouldnt be interesting.

I'm 20 years old, born Britain, my parents are from bangladesh, aka im a shitskin feelsbadman.

I've recorded a note, but I that was over a month ago. I'm going to record another one, but Not sure what else to talk about.

Any ideas?

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 No.762

>>754

Why not just try moving to Bangladesh?

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 No.763

>>754

You are not a shitskin don't listen to those nordic snowniggers.

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 No.766

Did he died?

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 No.767

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

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 No.828

>>767

shove something else in there and see if it becomes apricots

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File: d82b651398dca47⋯.png (164.53 KB,655x482,655:482,Happy komi.png)

 No.827 [Open thread]

i went and got my haircut and my barber was cute. we both apparently hate sunlight and had a 30 minute discussion on how much we both fucking hate the sun and sunscreen.

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