About three months ago, I was at Church. I wasn't really paying attention to the liturgy, I was just sort of thinking. Regrettably, I do this sometimes. I was raised a Catholic, I was taught the order of the Mass in a classroom setting, and on the vast majority of the Sundays of my life, I've gone to Church. I've thoroughly memorized the actions, the words, the prayers, and most of the common hymns, so it can all be kind of mindless to me if I'm not careful.
What I was thinking about was the nature of individuality, especially as it relates to my own life. I recognize radical individualism as the source of most of the world's problems today. People say, "Well why should the Church tell me I can't suck dicks? I'm not hurting anyone, am I?" People say, "Well why should these racists tell me I can't fuck niggers? I'm not hurting anyone, am I?" These people reject the notion that they could ever have any responsibilities to any social unit higher than the individual, so they do whatever they want, completely heedless of the damage they're causing to society. I'm not saying Chinese hive-mind collectivism is the answer here, I'm just saying that individualism has gotten out of hand. People take it to radical extremes.
Yet, despite my realization of this, I'm something of a radical individual myself. I go to work and barely talk to anyone, I go to the store and avoid people's eyes, and at the end of every Mass I speed-walk out of the Church without a word to anyone. Not even to the priest, who is always waiting outside the door to shake your hand and talk to you if you want him to. At the end of every day, I come to nothing. I come home to nobody. I barely even call my parents anymore. I don't talk to my siblings at all outside of Christmas. I can't remember the last time I looked at someone I somewhat knew and decided I'd like to be better friends with that person. I can't remember the last time I looked at a woman and decided I'd like to get to know her. If I forget to talk to myself, I'll go so long without speaking that my lips feel stuck together. Even on 8chan, I feel like there's something about my posts that makes them stick out. Like I don't fit in with all the other Anonymouses somehow. As though, despite the fact that I've spent the better part of the past decade on imageboards, there's still something abouPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
