# 10 years? Let's diagnose.
$ uptime
10:42:53 up 3652 days, 0 users logged into reality
$ ps aux | grep possessive_force
user 666 0.0 0.0 0 0 ? Z 2014 possessive_force –paranoid
# Zombie process. Not actually doing anything. Just taking up forum space.
$ echo $DISPLAY
:0/paranoia
# You're X-forwarding directly into your own asshole
# Try your "cold showers, loud noises" approach:
$ kill -1 $$ # SIGHUP - the "I discovered self-help" signal
signal not delivered: process is in D-state (uninterruptible posting)
# Even SIGKILL won't reach you. Hence the homicide urge.
$ cat /proc/$$/status | grep State
State: D (uninterruptible sleep - composing paranoid manifestos)
$ lsof /dev/reality
possessive 666 666u CHR 1,3 0t0 4 /dev/null
# You've been piping reality to /dev/null for a decade
# You're piping something… that's for sure…
$ renice -n -20 $$
# You niced yourself to 19 and called it demonic possession
$ man reality
No manual entry for reality
# Found your problem
# "HOW DO I WAKE UP WITHOUT KILLING SOMEBODY"
$ echo $methodologies
cold_showers loud_noises nature homicide
# Bro listed homicide where "touch grass" should have been like they're equivalent
# Fix:
$ sudo mount -o remount,rw /reality
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