/newbrit/ - /brit//politics/

time to go

rush rush rush all day

>>257750

It's fine lad, just don't eat sweets and WORK OUT

*Goes to bed.*

>mummy lying and gossiping about me on phone again

b-baste

be careful with your enemas lads

>Factory worker died after colleague inserted industrial air hose in his bottom in 'prank gone wrong'

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/factory-worker-died-after-colleague-12220797

>>257765

what a heroic way to go out

why is this so funny

there isn't even a joke

>>257767

I'm pissing myself at this but I don't know why

>>257768

because he's fat and he talks about food

>>257768

>>257769

social conditioning

he says something in a humorously outraged tone of voice with exaggerated expressions and you are expected to laugh because he is effectively telling you to

it's how

UUUUUUUUKIPPPPP?!?!?!

and other shite works

>>257770

so.. like… wessex…

*pauses*

WESSEX?

*look of confusion*

WES

*look of flabbergastedness raising an eyebrow*

SEX???

*mouth drops to the floor in astonishment*

WESSEX?????

>>257772

>ywn lead a great /newbrit/ migration into new territory and establish our holy land

FRESH HUWHITE HADVOCASY

gettin sleepy guys

>>257777

fuck sake

>>257780

It's alright innit

Aight

>>257781

quality

a great big bag of plums

But you didn't have to lop it off

Make out like you're a lass and that genes are nothing

And I didn't even like your posts

But you ran off to Bongo Bongo Land and that feels so rough

Yes your posting quality was low

You had our posters go elsewhere and then disappeared

I guess that I don't need them though

Now you're just a shitposter I used to know

>>257787

KINO

>>257788

>>257792

Morning lad

>>257791

iktfb, vanlad suggested a gas heater in a previous thread but I'm not sure it would've been worth the investment for me.

>>257792

bore braf yndefe

Keys open doors

>less than 4 hours of being awake

>kitchen is already in a terrible state

one day all the mess will be blown away

>>257791

lots of knitwear >>>>> gas > electric

>>257801

I did that but I still got chilblains and a leg ulcer from not moving and trying to conserve heat

Better version

>>257802

LAD I survived in a metal box without even getting pneumonia

>>257808

jewperium tbh

>>257811

Just drink it out the mug you retard

>>257812

>drink from a mug with a big ass face goggle thing on

yeah, okay buddy

>>257814

You're a complete fucking brainlet. You'd have to turn back your entire head to drink from it you know?

>>257815

>he can't drink soup with his goggles on

lmaooo drinklet

>>257814

>The surviving pirates were rumored to have been released on a lifeboat, only for their former captors to shoot the boat below the waterline, drowning the rest of the survivors.

top kek

>Got job interview tomorrow

>it coincides with my only lesson I have tomorrow so I need to skip to catch it

>the teacher is already furious with me and my attendance

Fucking hell lads I'll need to send her a really good excuse email tonight

Any suggestions?

>>257821

This

Time to go pick out an outfit n shiett I guess

>>257821

I don't pay her salary lad, the STATE does.

But maybe I should just go for an honest email, she does have a good bullshit detector either way tbf.

>>257791

don't worry lad when i move in temperature will shoot up by 300% cos I'm so damn hot

>>257811

she's cute but she's rapidly aging sadly

>>257827

most likely april, mid-late

this week i am packing things and putting them in new house then i must venture into normieville and get some eye tests and contact lenses

Oh and a final thing:

I *really* wanna shag the lass that owns the local sandwich shop. She's like a 40 something blonde bimbo. She oozes tart and I might just be in love tbh

>>257831

Quality post as always lad.

>>257832

see

>>257580

might get my haircut short tbh

embrace my hairline

>>257837

gwon lad short back and sides just like hitler intended

>>257838

little bit longer at sides and back and combed flat on the top to the side

>>257840

lad how long do I have? I'll give a bit more money if you need it

>veggie food

why lad

>>257839

>combed

smh lad smh.

You need a cut that shows people that you mean business - get my next planned cut:

Grade 1 on sides with high fade and pretty darn short on top

>>257840

>vegetarian black pudding

wtf is the point in that? isn't black pudding supposed to be just blood and a bit of meat?

da works in a elf foods shop and brings back freebies sometimes but is never around to eat them so they sit in the fridge until my jewishness and unwillingness to spend money on extra groceries overrides my anti-soy stance

>>257841

not that dire tbh, "until summer"

but I'm looking to move out before then because I can't really rely on anyone

>>257842

it's literally all blood smh

the veg variant only exists for soys to virtue signal with

just tried some and it's basically a slightly spiced veggie burger but it looks like a turd

>>257842

doesn't sound smart tbh

>>257843

r-rely on me lad h-heh

*tries and thinks of a list of things to do to pass the time*

>>257849

numbers 1-∞ have a meetup

>>257844

i wish the soibois would just be honest and eat a white pile of mush

you don't even need to process the shit into bacon strips ect, just eat the beans straight

>>257845

it's military lad. nothing smarter than that

>>257852

baste zogbots

>>257851

I feel sick looking at her knowing that's she's taken many dicks inside her.

>>257853

The concept of a military isn't intrinsically zoggish lad

>>257854

She could just seem like a slag while not being one tbf.

A lass I know looks, dresses, and acts like a slag but she's only ever slept with 2 lads.

>>257857

Thankfully vanlad brings up this board's average so statistically we're all low-tier chads

>>257858

only one way to clear them out lad

hmmmPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFTTTT

*buttons shirt up all the way*

I GENUINELY forgot you could wear them like that

>>257856

but she said she liked long dicks and has made several "dating" videos

>>257856

>only ever slept with 2 lads.

>only

>>257863

bery yvropean tbh

Looks a bit too mousy for me tho

>>257864

I guess that's a sign of slaggery. Although as much as a lad wants a tight fanny it's fair a lass would want a long dick tbf

>>257865

Oh my sweet summer's child

>>257866

but its purely sexual smh

i have a big willy but id never want a lass who would objectify me in such a way

dont complain about never finding the right man when you just shag loads of them and are stoopid dumb ho tbh

i want to beat her up

>>257867

>purely sexual

what's wrong with that? sexuality isn't degenerate in and of itself right?

>objectify me

But wouldn't you likewise be objectifying her ass n tiddies? having it both ways is only fair

>loads of men

tbf it makes intuitive sense. You burn through enough of them you gotta find the right man eventually

Forgot it was shrop I'm replying to so I wont bother

baste modernity fucking his brain up

>>257869

>You burn through enough of them you gotta find the right man eventually

You forget the part where the right man won't want anything to do with her and she either ends up bitter and alone, or with some poor lad she ends up hating

>>257871

but dude SEX !!!!!

>>257872

Hurf durf banging slots is alfa

>>257873

meant sloots dammit

>>257871

Well obviously lad I didn't say that's how it works in practice, only that it's an intuitive thought process.

To go even further: The modern dating scene is what it is. You've gotta find mr. right but the only way to do so is by dating and dating means fucking because we live in a hookup culture - "shag first, relationship later".

Ahhh I feel so bad for those poor lost lasses…

>>257875

you are still to blame since you perpetuate slags by shagging them

or are you the typical "its not my fault let me have my degeneracy and blame other people"?

>>257876

I don't deny my part in all of this lad, although you might've noticed I mostly prefer to stick with slags over virgins.

More to the point I'm not condemning these women am I? So I don't see any hypocrisy present.

Furthermore, being the change you want to see aside, I would still be a volcel amongst a sea of degenerates if I alone simply choose to stop contributing to the cycle

>>257877

you wont be exempt from the purge lad

>>257878

The purge won't ever come lad. The unfortunate reality of things is that people like me will be doing better by being immoral. Especially when the ones who want to carry it out are ineffective retards

the purge is a state of mind

>>257880

*faps*

>>257880

>Considers her a slag

>still won't stop posting her

You have problems kiddo

>>257884

women are spawn of the devil lad

temptations are difficult to fight

>>257885

There are also billions of other ones out there, go find some other lass smh

>>257886

i want to be volcel for a while

>UK gov scared by gun "because it fires too fast and they feel that it poses a great risk if it falls into the wrong hands"

That's why we have our licensing system hmmm. TO VET THAT ANY GUN IN THE FIRST PLACE DOESN'T GO TO THE WRONG PERSON.

I don't understand this line of thinking.

>>257888

to limit our liberties further lad

>>257889

It's such a stupid argument. I wish my MP wasn't a homosexual so I could write to them about how this clearly shows that the police and the government should therefore restrict other items that "Would pose a great risk if they were to fall into the wrong hands" such as cars, and that enything with an engine bigger than 2.0 should require an additional licence if you think restricting firearms that have never been used in any crime but might be a bit faster than a regular gun since a car faster than a regular car is far more dangerous than any firearm.

>>257890

the thought of dying to a vehicle scares me more than guns tbh

>>257890

*The Poster Formerly Known As Bins illegal butterknife*

literally worse than any demilitarized feudal population

>>257888

>>257890

Lad if you think that the government introduced gun control for fair, logical reasons then I don't know what to tell you

>>257891

It's more painful.

AND FAR MORE LIKELY

>>257893

Lad I know, but some part of me believes that this country still has common sense somewhere.

>>257895

that part of the country resides on /newbrit/ only

>>257897

>aethelwuf hunter

larp tier name tbh

>>257900

somehow anzu is the only attractive girl you post

>>257901

tbh

>>257904

wonder what she would think of you appropriating her pictures

>>257906

this is actually a really sad post smh i feel bad for you lad

>>257907

Dorset's analytical techniques are quite astute

>>257908

thats the spirit

>>257909

one of my talents, i am rather good at observation but not so great at interaction

>>257911

how old is she?

>>257915

><he's

>>257918

fuck off

>>257918

hello honey

>>257919

why don't you slit your legs about it

>>257921

Because you do that anyway

its a mummy thinks shes done absolutely nothing wrong her entire life and blames me for everything bad episode again

>>257925

>Its an I think I've done absolutely nothing wrong my entire life and blames mother for everything bad episode again

>>257926

go back to posting about bbcs in disc0rd you northern twat

>>257927

c'mon lad you've already used that post

>>257928

same for you boy

>>257921

>>257924

since when did you 2 have a grudge going?

>>257930

idk man

everyone needs some aloe vera for everyone else's burns smh

>>257933

I read that as bums

>>257934

Smh lad I ain't going anywhere near your bum and I'd appreciate it if you returned the favour tbh

>>257935

good lad

My brother moans like a bitch

>>257937

Stop shagging him then

>>257938

You devil

>>257937

whats he doing? he sounds like a massive queer

>>257940

shaggin

>>257941

i hate this

im to the point where if i heard it i would go and beat them up no joke

>>257942

i was debating going in with my air pistol and scaring the shit out of them but they're done now.

>>257944

How old is your brother?

>>257944

I've found that they try and defend it by saying "its a private and intimate act"

well if it is, why are you doing it so other people can hear you? that's not private. I want to crush their skulls

>>257945

22

>>257946

He left the door ajar lmao.

going to eat some duck tbh

real want sum bunny or squirrel

I know many moons ago I often said I was becoming more insane, but now I fully understand it.

My mind has molded the answers, I was in many ways going insane, but now I am sane and on the path to complete saneness.

The greatest country on Earth!

etou

1 year ago

>old guy calls out to his friend in the motorized vehicle "If you get any damn bigger, you just get a bigger damn wagon"

>realises there is an obese woman in front of his mate

>ohshit.jpeg

kek

just let me be

in the wild

>>257956

kek

Damascus goats are wild

>>257961

they look like aliens wtf

>>257965

nice horns fam

I wish to have ones like those myself one day

>>257970

Yeah but I dont like goats you see

>>257968

How're going to manage that lad?

>>257969

Is that your mum m8?

>>257972

When I begin my awakening and ascension they will start to grow from my head lad

Their span will be directly proportional to my level of spiritual power

>>257974

A lad can dream smh. A pair of horns or antlers is all I've ever wanted

>>257975

How would you put on t-shirts though smh

>>257976

Aye, some sacrifices must be made it's true. But I can live with just wearing shirts for the rest of my days.

Even better, if I have horns is there even any reason to wear a shirt at all?

>>257977

True lad, you could just headbutt detractors

the mama, tbh

Hullo

>>257979

Tsargrad tbh

>sawbones think I have a blood clot and want to thin my blood and do some radiation scans

it's leeches time

Phwoorrrr lads

>manager was stunned it was my first interview because I did so well, told me I was likely to get the job

>lad outside pub saw me pass and showed me a magic trick.

>went on to buy me a pint and teach me a different one

Today has been a good day to be shrop

>>257978

Can't wait tbh lads. If someone looks at me funny I'll just gorge them and hang em over me head for a few days

>>257981

!hola senior vanlass!

>>257984

Ahhh that's spooky lad. good luck with your bloodwork, yikes

>>257984

Not enough exercise lad reeeeeeee you have DVT like you get on planes lel

>>257985

Notice as fuck

>>257987

Whut

Also a proper gym has opened up in [local town] so it looks like I got options once I leave college

>>257988

How are yon my son

>>257985

lucky lad

did you walk in with a straight back and look the manager in the eye while giving him a firm handshake?

>>257986

I don't mind going to the surgery too much tbh, there's a nice older lass doing doctor work exp to chat to

maybe love can bloom in between stealing my blood and pissing in cups

>>257988

yeah that's what I thought too

complications with having water thiccness from the exploding kidney disease smh

>>257989

WE WUZ HITLERZ

>>257989

Adolf Hitler is half-ugandan, apparently. He really knew dae wey.

>>257992

>final moments in the fuhrerbunker, 1945 colourized film

>>257991

>did you?

I did tbh. He made note of my confidence and social ability.

>surgery

I sure hope so lad. You gotta keep that shite outta there in the future tho tbf

Dr. Shrop proscribes incline treadmill walks (better than running) and a HEFTY diet of deadlifts

>>257994

ahh smh the only interview I've had to date was at M&S with the pineapple head gay

I can do better than treadmills tbh, nice hilly countryside to walk about on.

Just received unofficial confirmation that I got it lads. sikk

>>257995

Ol shrop isn't good at everything put his people skills are top notch. Thankfully I didn't get any weirdos though so it made it easier.

Also I felt right at home because half of the staff waved at me from their work stations when I walked in

>do better

hell fucking yeah lad. walking inclines burn more calories than running on flat AND they give you beefier calfs

>>257996

what the heck is that lad

good luck tho

>>257998

Nice work mate I'm really chuffed for you

>>257998

And agree with the people person skill from our druidoff

>>257994

>proscribes

*prescribes

To Proscribe is "to write into"

To Prescribe is "to advise thus"

>>258002

No bully I just like words that look similar but mean different things

>>257995

Rambling is goat tier exercise tbh, THICC calfs and STRONK ankles

>>257990

I'm good thanks lad, been with the lass quite a bit lately

Bit skint so spending her money for once :^)

How are you m88

>>257991

>older lass

Get in there boyo

>side effect of jihadi kidney

Oh yeah good point

Hope you don't end up having a stroke lad

Seriously start taking aspirin

>>258006

don't think I can smh, another side effect

been on antibiotics and paracetamol but they haven't done much so it probably is a clot

>>258001

druidoff?

>>258009

Meetup

>>258008

>start saving

Good lad, its so easy while you still live at home

>embarrassing

Not at all its a dictionary day

Proscribing is what amber Rudd did to NA

Prescribing is what you did for wess

>pair bonding

Lel she still doesn't hate me which is odd at this point so maybe those days are indeed over. F tbh

>shandy and pot noodles

Whisky and marmite :^)

>school

That sucks lad, are you ever going to use it in your career?

>June

Neat, summer meet up then?

>>258007

Ahh fair

>>258011

>at home

That it is. Not for long though, I'm moving out come autumn

>F

smh lad I never knew you were such a romantic. Good stuff tbh. Perhaps I'll join yon happy couples one day

>whisky n marmite

Top kek lad your strict diet of strong alcohol and marmite would kill me

>are you ever

difficult to say lad it depends what I go into. I'm considering taking a management fast track for one of the big supermarket chains. In that incidence it would be very helpful.

Otherwise probably not ever no.

>summer meetup

hell fuckin yea brotherrrrrrr

name the time and place. there any other druids that want to come other than the usual boys?

the way you type makes me cringe

>>258013

You make me cringe

>>258014

your cringe makes me cringe

>>258015

Your mums clunge makes me lunge

>>258016

your mums twat makes me fat

>>258017

Your mums bean makes me keen

>>258018

your dads hole makes me swole

>>258019

Your sisters bum makes me cum

>>258020

I don't have a sister.

>>258013

very passive aggressive lass. my interest goes up and down as I write and therefore so does my will to punctuate and capitalise

>>258021

so says your ma

>ywn have any brothers or sisters

one of the most awful feelings on earth

>>258014

>>258015

>>258016

>>258017

>>258018

>>258019

>>258020

>>258021

topfuckingkek

also fresh upside down oat morning meal

made an interesting post about north korea then Supreme Leader arrives and all of a sudden its goat discussion time fuck u

fuck goats

>>258027

>>258028

Link it you goat fucker

>>258025

but it's lonely

I want a sister to cuddle

>>258031

yes it is lad

believe me

id want her to be blonde and blue eyes

>>258032

youre not supposed to fuck them lad

and no you don't cuddle your sister after you hit puberty, it's not normal

>>258034

i would never fuck her smh lad why would you think of such a thing

i would channel my paternal instincts and raise her to be a good moral lass

>>258032

Lad we actually have sisters, you don't cuddle them smh

>>258036

because your mind has been corrupted by modernity lad

>>258035

>y would you think of such a thing

because this clearly stems from your sexual frustrations

>good moral lass

by setting an example of how she shouldn't be?

>>258033

>>258033

looks like drugs

hello police?

>>258038

I don't want sex I want cuddles

I don't need a lecture on morality from someone such as yourself.

>>258040

>dont want sex

I wont freud you lad but it's clear to me that you just want a girls bum to rub your todger on

>don't need lectures

it's true though isn't it? You don't go to church and you're lustful. Who's to say you wouldn't be as immoral as me if only someone gave you the chance?

>gotta do 30 marks worth of economics questions and shower

>what ought to be my bedtime ticks round in half an hour

>still doing bank shit

oh aye it appears we have a problem here

>>258041

I just need muh chemicals from hugging lad

I'm a completely different boi when I'm not on a computer. I don't have lust then

>>258044

is she cute lad?

>>258043

>muh chemicals

you should grow strong in the absence of friendly human contact lad smh

if you have irl friends then you get all the oxytocin you need from the banter yon should be spittin'

>different boi

and yet you still don't worship the lord do ya? and I suspect there's more'n a few others behaviours you hold that're immoral.

I'd probably be a better coach for your imaginary sister lad. Send her my way tbh

>>258044

But lad I'm pure 100 bercent nordig evropean I can't jew anything

>>258048

when in doubt write paragraphs of diatribe against soros for breaking the bank of england even if it has absolutely no relevance to the topic at hand

>>258046

But I'm better than you

>>258047

lad… im sorry JUST

>>258036

I cuddle your sister

>>258033

Nice dmt

>>258049

someone did this in last years business exam kek. There was a question on whether or not flexible working hours benefit women and they unloaded redpill statistics about how lasses should stay @ home

>>258050

You sure are son

>>258044

You fuckin what

>>258052

you would get her on drugs and drink and turn her into a slag regardless of what you say now

you are a vile human being

>>258049

This

>>258052

Or riff on gender blind hiring trials as a benefit to business

>>258054

I wouldn't if I liked her as a person tbh. But otherwise I prolly would turn her into a vile slag tbf.

Either way she'd still be better off with me because with my outcome she'd end up with a beta husband. In yours she'd end up with cum stains on her panties until you both die incels, from old age ;^)

>>258055

ahh but it wouldn't be a benefit lad. you see females bring in "outside opinions" kek

>>258056

you better be joking lad

you disgrace

I'm tired of you all. Pathetic.

>>258059

Fuck u

>>258060

I bet you would as well.

I imagine a stunted hobbit with more hair on his feet than his head theatrically casting a towel around himself in draculian fashion and flouncing out of the room

>>258051

Nah lad she isn't Pakistani, you wouldn't like her

>>258062

Later he'll accidently wank and cry

>>258062

Imagine an autistic fat paganlarper eating soy products and shivering from the cold who likes BBWs

>>258065

Ackshually I had some halloumi cheese instead of packaged turd for dinner today

it's quite nice even if I accidentally put the hob on maximum and burnt it all to slag in the pan

also I gave in and am wearing a coat and hat indoors and it's fine now except for cold toes

>>258057

>corporate fascism

*shuffles uncomfortably*

u-uhhhhh y-yeah! based!

based free market tbh lads :^)

>>258058

>>258059

Your disapproval is perfectly valid of course. But I must say your lack of self awareness is the most pathetic thing tbh.

>>258062

Say it with me lads

He's STRONG

He's SMART

He's pooooooowweerful

So let's…

leave him ALONE

>>258069

get some heppin slippers lad

like moccinsons or w/e they call em

Damn I want an m60

>>258067

are you a good cook?

how much would rent be per week lad? would I give it to you in cash?

>>258069

probably better to add more layers than to use heating tbh

>>258065

>paganlarper

But Wessex is an actual pagan

might make some mash and mix it with corned beef sweetcorn onions and some veg if i have it

>>258073

I like to experiment but I can do decent meals well enough when I bother

If you got the full UC amount of rent it would be £240 (payable through the scheme and not actually your money) + a share of the council tax, leccy bill etc which comes to maybe £60/mo.

>>258075

Doesn't sound too bad if you keep the corned beef, sweetcorn and veg separate and serve it with onion gravy. What was that dish you made with black pudding and chorizo btw?

Smh lads after watching initial d I've gotten into cars somewhat

not sure if I should embrace or suppress this growing urge smh

>>258072

personally I'd just be happy with a self defence handgun

>>258079

read nigga

that's through UC, it's not your money at any point, it's payable straight to the landlord and on top of your regular handout

>>258078

uhhh