> Be The Satanic Temple (TST)
> Officially recognized religious group of humanist/non-theistic edge lords
> Don't actually believe in a literal Devil, no sacrifices, no spooky blood rituals
> "Satan" is just a metaphor for scientific autonomy and trolling authoritarian bureaucrats
> Weaponize state laws and premium satire to defend secular pluralism
Here is a catalog of their finest tier-one trolling:
1. The Baphomet Gambit
> Oklahoma government installs a Ten Commandments monument at the State Capitol
> TST files a lawsuit demanding equal religious representation
> Commissions a massive 8.5-foot bronze statue of Baphomet chilling on a throne
> Supreme Court panics at the thought of a giant goat lord on their lawn
> Orders the immediate removal of the Ten Commandments instead
> TST wins the legal battle without even unpacking the crate
2. After School Satan Club
> Evangelical groups start running voluntary clubs inside public schools
> TST demands equal access and launches the "After School Satan Club"
> Karen-tier moral panic ensues immediately across the school district
> Constitution forces the school board to greenlight it
> The actual curriculum? Science experiments, arts and crafts, and healthy snacks
> Imagine the look on the principal's face watching kids eat juice boxes under a pentagram banner
3. The Blessed Highway
> TST signs up for the "Adopt-a-Highway" program in New York
> Sends members out in hi-vis vests to clean up litter and trash on the road
> Government is legally required to install the official roadside marker
> Millions of commuters forced to drive past a sign reading: "Highway Cleaned by The Satanic Temple"
> Literally immaculate asphalt thanks to Lucifer's janitors
4. The Post-Mortem Conversion
> Westboro Baptist Church (the infamous "God Hates Fags" picketers) decides to be annoying
> TST founder marches to the cemetery where the WBC leader's mother is buried
> Runs a ritual called the "Pink Mass" featuring same-sex couples making out over the grave
> Issues an official press release declaring the ritual had the spiritual authority to turn the dead mother into a lesbian in the afterlife
> Massive cope and seethe from the fundamentalists accomplished
