/fringe/ - Fringe

I'm actively looking for resources to finally find the truth about sex. I know there's a chance that I find something even after ten years because it happened before with another problem I had searched for years how to fix. One day I will learn the truth, I know it. I'm open to any book recommendations, suggestions of any kind

I'll make this the only place where I share my true feelings. I have no one left to talk to, to really say what weights on me. I have not been this suicidal for almost ten years. I have gone and fucked my life up beyond repair. There's nothing in this reality that can help me, there's no time machine so I'm left with the small doses of shitty dopamine from an occasional movie, scrolling or porn when my hormones take over. I love sleeping, because that means I'll maybe have an adventure, I'll escape my shitty life for a few hours. I enjoy less things that ten years ago. The only things that bring me happiness are sleeping and listening to some occasional podcasts (friendship simulators)

>>142795

If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened that made you convinced your life completely fucked?

>>142800

I won't give any further personal details but imagine it as a long boat trip. You decide to embark on something and you never expected it to be so bad. And you're stuck on this ship for at least four years. I always remind myself to be patient and just wait for the trip to end. You can get off in any port without the ship with the rest of the crew sinking, because you are the only one who knows the controls and you don't have time to teach anyone else

COOMED

Sixth time this year.

I tried to coom today, couldn't do it. Stopped the porn with one of the hottest pussies on the planet because I realized it's getting me nowhere. I bust in less than a minute if I let myself enjoy the moment after a long streak. Two options left, to try to control myself which ruins the fun and makes me disassociate coom once. And second to bust and get it out of the system then again for fun, which makes me a slug with zero energy and willpower. I'm stuck in this reality that will not let me win. There's no winning with porn

COOMED

Seventh time. So the once a month average has been broken again. I guess I was not planning on this but it is what it is. I love pussy too much when I'm pent up by unshot cum. Then I feel empty, like something is wrong. I have zero positive feelings or sensations after. So the rush, the pleasure is just a small moment in time. And I know that, and I choose to pay the price, every time

After almost ten years of trying to quit porn, I've realized that nothing I've experienced in this life has brought me lasting happiness or peace. Not porn, not vidya, not family, religion, relationship, success, work, hobbies, meditation, reading, learning, friends, nothing has stayed with me over the years. I'm perpetually unhappy. And I keep trying to find excitement where I did not find it, for decades. Only because the hormones are telling me it's the greatest thing, it's godlike IF you don't cum

Please, if anyone is reading this, try to help me. Put a link to a place where I can talk anonymously to someone. I have no one IRL, I can't see a semen retention thread on /x, discord nofap servers are pozzed, I'm all alone and have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Days are excruciatingly hard, I want to scream. It's soul crushing but I must play it like everything's fine, the second I complain about anything I get shut down, I'm the problem not this life I have. I just want to talk. I want to ask if I'm crazy when I say nothing is worth living for if you're not rich. Because you turn into a slave that's always working, no time for leisure, meditation or learning

COOMED

Eighth time. I kept telling myself that I will be left with nothing once I cum, I kept lying to myself I'm willing to pay the price. Well now I'm paying it and it's hard. It seems like I've completely fallen off the wagon here. It's the sixth month and I already came eight times. It looks like I'm not quitting this anytime soon, no matter how much I pretend to know how bad it is. When I want to bust, it's only good, no bad. The monkey brain is very strong on me

>>142820

>>142640

>>142820

8chan.se/fringe/

COOMED

Ninth coom of the year. It's beyond over at this point, to reach my revised goal of one cum per month I'd need to abstain until October at least. Which is a three months streak, it would be my third three months streak in ten years of nofap. I coomed at my favorite porn game, which kept me from busting for hours on end. Coomed fast without any satisfaction. I got proven once again how I'm chasing

>>139574

>>142826

anon i coom like once a day ur doing very well trust

COOMED

TENTH COOM. IT'S OVER. I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO OCTOBER AND KEEP THE AVERAGE AT ONCE PER MONTH. I CAME IN ONE MINUTE, I HAD ZERO ENJOYMENT

COOMED

ELEVENTH COOM. I DID NOT MEAN TO DO IT. I FUCKING DID NOT MEAN TO BUST. I WAS SO PENT UP I CAME IN SECONDS. I'M FUCKED, I'M SO FUCKED I'M NEVER REACHING THIS YEAR'S GOAL, I HAVE TO SURVIVE UNTIL DECEMBER, TWO WHOLE MONTHS IT'S BEYOND OVER FOR ME, I DID NOT LAST TWO MONTH ALL YEAR!!!

COOMED

TWELFTH NUT OF THE YEAR.

Who am I fooling? This year is failed just like the last one

COOMED

#13

COOMED

#14

I really thought I could pull this off. Actually forgot about my 13th bust and I figured I can get to the end of the year without busting, and I'd still have my streak. What a fucking joke I am amazed how I can't seem to be categorical on one decision, no matter which one is it. I don't want to go back to busting because I get all these debuffs (lethargy, pain, brain fog) but I can't go without it because I keep feeling so goddamn horny when I see a tit or an ass. I know everything there is to know, I feel how it's only hormones but at the same time I can't get a three month streak, or at least I couldn't in the last 8 years. Holy shit it's been so long

My cock is leaking from the last bust, I wish I could put it in a foid's mouth to rest after this bust and she'd clean it up real quick. How can I be porn free with a mind like that? Am I going to have this ping pong curse between busting and avoiding it for the rest of my life?

I went back to a server I was banned from because my addiction facilitated an account hack. It was a burner so of course when I felt pent up I just joined a porn server and a "verify" page gave access to my account. It's the first time I got hacked because of porn. I guess I hit a new low. Talking about lows, I keep fantasizing about foids I simply pass on the street. Like what do their pussies taste, feel and look like. How would they look naked, moaning from pleasure or with a dick in their mouths. I wish I could have all the sex I want, but I subconsciously know I won't be satisfied eventually and entirely. The pendulum will swing the other way, I'll develop an std or I'd get some heart disease from too many dick pills since my dick stops working on the hundredth hole. Anyway, that's beyond the realm of possibility for me anyway. I had a harem and obviously I wasn't too happy with it since I tried to quit porn, first time just to cure acne. I got rid of acne and guilt even, and I'm still not fully committed to going back to busting daily. So it's irreversible, but I can't completely let go of that juicy pussy spell. And it's all because of hormones. As soon as I bust, I realize I have no desire to pursue sex anymore. So it's all a veil or a spell that vanishes quickly

#15 #16 #17

I busted a bunch of times while the site was down

>>139574

Convinced this kind of broscientism is just anti-male sexuality like fundies do. I've done the no-fap no-porn thing for months at a time and it just made me perpetually horny even a bit of cleavage got to me. No "semen retention" (whatever that means) or extra energy or drive or whatever other snake-oil this anti-porn xian nonsense tries to peddle. Not falling for that again.

There is nothing wrong with your normal, healthy male sexuality, gentlemen. There is nothing wrong with pr0nz. It's just another form of entertainment for base urges that should be considered sacred and holy, not sinful and devilish.

There's nothing wrong with normal, healthy sexual attraction to women or the female form through art or "not-art" if you wanna stick that label on fap bait.

There's nothing wrong with sex workers and all that.

All so-called studies are a joke, just xian snake oil and twisting of numbers and extremely tiny and limited and cognitively biased sample sizes. Learn to study the studies, don't just take them for gospel.

>>142857

#18

Then what is post nut clarity? Why the more you endulge in it, the worse it gets, your abstaining got to you but indulging didnt? Why do you get brain fog and as soon as you're done, a flip is switched and you dont want sex?

>>142857

If I didn't relapse then try nofap again for a decade I would agree with you. But as I'm typing this I just nutted and all that pleasure and excitement I had before has evaporated. I'm in a literal pit. I'm crashing down after the drug's high. Everything I had a minute ago is gone. I'm alone, frustrated, in pain and everyone who quits cooming is eventually so sick of this cycle they're never relapsing again.

As I approach my eleventh year of trying to quit porn, I realize I learned a lot but not much has changed in my behavior.

Right now I still downloaded a porn game, after permanently deleting my old ones. I feel nauseous, my head is spinning and it hurts only in anticipation of the back and forth I always go through when choosing to indulge in my vice.

Last night I promised I'll be in a full-time post nut state, I'll be doing post nut year next year. Always emulating that clarity post nut when I simply don't care about pussy. But here I am now, playing a porn game.

One way to look at sex is the pleasure aspect, we've already established that cumming is detrimental and it resets everything. So you need to edge, but it's harder to edge the better the game or the porn is. So you're stuck with shitty games and porn because as soon as you find a great one, you bust quick and you're back in the pit. It's incredibly stupid if you look at it but I've known this for years and still pursued porn

#19

Post nut year, yeah right

What a pathetic situation I find myself in. I don't know if it's because I was a coomer all my life, and I'll never know if I would have amounted to anything better in life. But right now I'm avoiding going back home because that means more work for me, and I'm too tired of that shit. I'm dragging my feet across a mall, typing this. There has never been ONE DAY before today, in my life, when I dreaded going back home. If back when I was a kid I'd known how I'd end up, I would be willing to take more risks in life. My whole life I wanted a safe, risk free path, sure I did not end up in jail, or on the streets, but at the same time I did not amount to anything worthwhile. I'm an npc, a worker drone, never shined with anything. A mediocre piece of meat, unworthy of living, really. I'm the 80% of the population? I guess, but everything I've said is still true, life is for the rich and famous or the people that have something to say, do or make in the world. I don't have shit to add to the world, I know everyone wishes they'd be a beautiful or a gifted person and most aren't, but being surrounded by failure doesn't make me feel better about mine. I'm a failure nonetheless, and I'm already halfway through life. Sure, I'm not on the bottom 50% of humanity but I'm also not at the top. I have no passion, hobby, goal or work to pour my nofap energy into. And that's why I fail frequently, I say to myself: "why do I even bother?"

And I'm still craving pussy, I'm still craving a stupid porn game that really hits the spot, in a way that pmvs have stopped. But overall, when adding the post nut with the pre nut experience, I never had a good time, at least not in the last fifteen years or more, I can't remember really beyond that. But I still come back to it, there's nothing else for me, so I keep accepting the shitty deal that porn has

#20

All I think about is this porn game, I know it in my head that as soon as i bust there will be zero interest in the game for a day. That everything is just a ploy for me to nut again. It will then come back to haunt me and drain me again, for as long as I have vitality. Right now I want to go back, while knowing this. It's exciting, it's all I think about even though it drained me like a whole day's work in a few hours even without cumming.

So although I did not bust, I am exhausted and I reached the point of inevitable genital pain. I know this cycle too well.

>>139579

Like even in two seconds when chicks still want to cum? Because they don't like condoms and i don't even want kids.

#21

COOMED

#22

COOMED

SOMEBODY

FUCKING

HELP

ME

#23

..

#24

I jerked my needy cock for 12 hours yesterday. What did I feel after? Pain, exhaustion, a great restlessness because I did not cum. What did I gain? The few and far in between moments that were actually hot, like that dude sharing his wife. But my dick was mostly soft after 10 hours. PORN WAS NOT GODLIKE WITHOUT CUMMING. It's been tested. I received what I wanted. And I still feel the repercussions. I'll need two days to recover from the marathon I've put myself through. This could be my last relapse. I gained nothing from edging, I always thought I'd have unlimited pleasure

For a year or so I started getting these symptoms of stress and anxiety whenever I thought of watching porn. Now, I feel fucking nauseous. The amount of porn I've consumed yesterday is more than I watched the whole year. And I'm not satisfied. Guess why? Cause I didn't cum

PORN IS NOT GODLIKE CONT.

My heart feels like is close to giving out. My legs are shaky and my brain is in a haze. How did I imagine I'd get through a fucking workday as a gooner. Lmao, that's why most people were not really gooning 24/7 in the goon servers. It's impossible. You need to recover, not just for the refractory period, but for your whole system. In taxing, and all in all, in 12 hours I can maybe round up 3 hours of actual pleasure. How much was godlike? Maybe one hour at most

And you know what? My dick wants more beating today. I was alone and wanted more shared wives. Why? So I could finally cum of course. The objective is cumming not pleasure. And I try to avoid cumming, only to be forever insatiable. I'm more pent up and hungry for porn after 12 hours of edging yesterday than I was in the middle of a long nofap streak

This addiction aims to kneel you until you're rock bottom. I get no relief from it, except the hours of refractory period. If I'm always alone, it's hell, I'm always a needy pumper. I gotta always pump and cum and pump again until I'm a husk, how could I ever go to work as a coomer? I'd hate every second spent not lying down and pumping

I will be the loosh farmer from now on. 2026 will be the year of the semen not of the coom. I have already accepted that I'll never see that guy's hot wife or her tight squirty pussy. I have accepted that I will not play chore-porn games to extend my edging. I have had several urges and just thinking about porn puts me in this fight or flight response, this anxiety that I'll cum, that I'll regret what I'm doing. This urge to get my dick hard. Now I can actually feel how resources are drained from my body in order for me to get hard. Can't do it anymore. It's not worth the price. I'm the loosh farmer now.

Ever fed never satisfied, never fed ever satisfied

Loosh farmer here, I pledge here, on this public forum, to God if he's real, I will not watch porn again, or play porn games, until I've become a millionaire or a foid sucks my dick.

I don't really believe in this shit but I've seen people do it in the WAY LESS POPULAR renounce lust thread. Here goes nothing. I've never been sucked and the chances of getting a bj are the same as me becoming a millionaire. I won't use prostitutes, it's clear I'm not into real prostitution, just that on a screen

Loosh farmer here

Pledging didn't do shit. I watched porn. But I didn't coom, I don't really get that old satisfaction from it. I get flaccid when I start really looking into what I'm doing while I'm doing it. I kinda hate porn now. Wasting my time, I'm only excited about it when it's been a long time since I last busted.. it's all smoke and mirrors, how if I don't have the hormones for it I don't give a fuck about it. So I'm one week into this new me and I actually feel good about this, it's the first time I haven't coomed but I have no desire to watch porn even though I have the opportunity to do it.

Loosh farmer here

It has come to my attention that "loosh" does not actually mean "cum". But I'm too brainrotted by cumsumption to care about semantics. I'm farming my cum. I'm frothing it when edging, I've been edging on and off for almost two weeks, but did not lose physical loosh. I know it's bad even to watch, but hey, it's a process

Loosh farmer here

Week 2 recap, have not spilled my loosh but I've been pumping a lil, here and there. Still love seeing those perfect women but now I get genuinely scared of busting my nuts. So it's mostly business as usual, with less relapses. Not a single breakthrough in the past year