/fringe/ - Fringe

Okay. You?

top lost

I've been following intuition as closely as I possibly can for a long time, and for the last four and a half months I've seen pretty much only lack of success. I'm really starting to wonder what's going on.

Barely.

>>132722

>>132727

Do you want to talk about it?

>>132725

That's interesting. Do you have any goals in mind? If you aren't working towards anything then I would question whether you're actually able to benefit from following intuition, or if you're just optionally switching the way you're acting and expecting something good to come from it. I'm in that 'autopilot' mode a lot, but I only intentionally use my intuition if I'm trying to achieve something or get information. I've done this since I was a little kid. If I lost a toy, I'd feel something in my head pointing me somewhere.

>>132732

Why did you ignore me?

>>132725

>>132722

It's all about balance… It's usually balance on top of balance in terms of getting wisdom from chaos, and then figuring out something with order and logic…

>>132735

I didn't want to talk about myself because I don't like complaining.

>>132769

>buttholes

What? I missed that part of the lore.

Didn't Jupiter touch down or something? LET'S GO

I was thinking that there was a reason to come here today.

So thank you, I am existing well.

I think I have come to a realization. Wizardry is not so much about ammassing personal power as it is about using the ebb and flow of power dynamics to your advantage. There is no need to hamfist a personal dynamic in an impersonal 🤡🌎.

Thus I continue to adapt.

I have a great respect for this fact at cost of great personal turmoil.

Wishing you all peace.

Shit. This world is shit. Mind control in everything. The collective conscious is retarded and satan is in everything. Everything is killing me and I dont know how to not be so weak. Every day I walk with a pain in my heart as deep as the ocean and a black fear in my eyes. I fear jail, i fear mind control, I fear getting drunk and killing myself on purpose or not. Nothing is sacred and nobody gives an ounce of a shit how I feel, I don't even think God cares if there is one in this forsaken hellhole. And what do I get for years of research into this matrix? A hard cold reality. Nothing matters. The occult is all a lie, a distraction, bullshit, a carrot on a stick. There are no truths that can hold up to an ocean of depression. The truths you get that are real are "stay strong and don't die XD". Thats this world in a nutshell. I have to pull up love, the only answer to this hell, from my cold black heart.

>>132949

How did you reach these conclusions?

>>132950

He's blinded by māyā

>>132951

How do you get those crazy letters?

>>132951

Maya is inseperable from nirvana. This suffering is eternal.

>>132951

Alao thats just straigt up projection. Another thing, Maya was Buddhas mother. And the dude asking about crazy letters! When I just said Inwas going to kill myself! And I'm blind. What a waste of fucking space you retards are. No I understand everything is love and beauty. I have achieved gnosis and unity with everything before, I am just disillusioned with the world. You cant just say "hurr durr blinded by maya durr". This is reality fuckface.

>>132975

It's all biscuts and buttermilk dude.

Life is stale, rarely sweet, but savor it and it will sustain you.

Live well, walk in peace.

>>132949

Seriously, you sound like my viewpoint if I were a shill.

I say this with love man.

Stand up straight, tear the frown off your face, tilt your head to the side or upward for a moment and smile. It doesn't need to ever be a ritual, or a spell, or even an afirmation.

In some regard you are right.

>There are no truths that can hold up to an ocean of depression. The truths you get that are real are "stay strong and don't die XD".

And you are correct that there are too many distractions along this path.

And come what may, it is the power of positivity that will pull you up.

>. I have to pull up love, the only answer to this hell, from my cold black heart.

You know love, and use that feeling to fuel your positivity. You will begin to see it in your interactions. And when it recriprocates, it becomes a loop.

>>I'm stuck with a choice to be homeless or not and still view it as win/win

>>132949

The way I see it, the very fact that anything exists is a miracle. If you didn't experience suffering you would never know what is good.

>>132769

You're welcome, my friend.

>>132944

Could you expound on this concept further? Peace be with you.

>>132949

I understand these feelings. Is there something you want, something that might give you at least a moment of happiness? I can promise nothing, but I can ask a God to help you.

My kundalin I is TURNT bruh I thought I seen it before but not like this. I was just pacing around my room speaking in tongues and punching the air and eating so much even tho I was so called vegan but now it's like I wanna run in the summer heat and do 100 pull ups while channeling any and all random ass spirits that wanna vibe wit me. Now I can finally get a job and/or join military.

>>133032

did u post an alian or sum shit?

I've been doing better probably than ever before in my life but I have these moments where I feel deeply chilled and stricken with terror for a moment and then it passes as I feel the weight of my mortality.

This didn't happen to me before when my life was terrible all the time.

When life is too good and you have so much to accomplish you just don't want to die.

Dying is pleasant though. I need to somehow balance loving my life right now with whatever is causing me this terror. Fear has no business being in my mind.

>>133031

>Now I can finally get a job and/or join military.

See how you're feeling after a month has passed though. Sometimes I've amped up my power sky high and then I can't sleep and I'm basically running around day and night and then I burn out hard and crash. You got to make this sustainable.

>>133024

Clown world is the idea that you are the clown in a burning tent. You tell everyone that the tent is burning but since you are the clown, the people think it is an act.

Between intersectional politics and idalogoues, oft times these replace real issues. One, as the clown, is able to differentiate the performance from the the disaster all around us, so it appears comical and helpless.

Now to expand upon what I was getting at. When one is aware, despite the real issues having creedence, one must play the act. The power dynamic of a clown is truth in comedy. You stop being funny and people stop listening. However, when using absurdist parody for example, this promotes the audience using an introspective approach to the show.

This view allows for greater personal power, because while being the clown and watching everything burn sucks…

"The tent is on fire!" Is only addressing an additional problem no one wants to look at.

Singing "It's gettin hot in here! So takes off all your clothes!" in this case has greater potentiality for others to see the tangible problem. And maybe you save a life or two.

That is what I meant by

>There is no need to hamfist a personal dynamic in an impersonal 🤡🌎.

No one cares about your individuality, they care about the act. So use the act the express your individuality.

>>132717

I really feel like life in general for everyone is getting better than people care to admit- especially if they attach themselves to depressive notions.

I particularly feel this way since they act as if the universe is out to spite them by making everything better, while in their mind everything is worse.

>>132949

You hear so many cries of "wake up" but the reality is, they've all been awake, they're just numb and sleep deprived.

I suggest you try a death meditation:

>Imagine/act-out yourself randomly dying in place.

>avoid images of self harm or suicide, this is about solely being dead.

>invoke all manner of stages of death in your body: rot, your corpse being used as a food source for insects and animals, your bleached bones crumbling to dust, that dust being consumed by a random wildfire.

>then invoke from that fire, your body being reformed, hard, powerful, stronger than ever as you are being reborn.

This is the meditation that helped me to cure "that tired feeling that sleep doesn't fix".

Not much. Kinda bored. Quit my job two months and now I have nothing to do

/x/ pisses me off. They enjoy locking potentially good threads.

Anyways since I can't get an answer anywhere else, does a particular name follow you around anywhere? It's always Steve with me, and not in a good way either.

Been considering suicide, but don't want to deal with what comes afterwards right now.

>>133155

>Been considering suicide

Why?

>>133198

I couldn't get into art school. What should I do?

>>133211

Take over your country and bring closer the kali-yuga. Or just chill a bit. Does your life actually depend on an art education?

Just get like really stoned and stare into a candle for a while. Don't kill yourself pls.

>>133211

Learn art by youself, you don't need to go to a school to learn that shit

>>133144 (checked)

I see a lot of Brians come and go in my life, thankfully they've been nothing but good to me, so I'm glad for that.

>>133213

nigga, we've already been in the kali yuga, in fact, I'm pretty sure that we're in the transition period from it's end to the transitory period before the golden age.

>>133230

Kali yuga ends when individuals are sublated into the infinite quantum machine.

>>133232

but why

>>133233

Why anything? Language is retarded, and must be destroyed.

>>133230

>he doesn't know about the Age of Lead

If only you knew how bad things are really going to get.

>>133230

>already been in the kali-yuga

When was that? Shit will get alot worse before it gets alot better, and mankind hasn't nearly hit rock-bottom yet. I'm not counting nor hoping that it will happen, but we definitely haven't been through an age of blood and iron. An age where fathers kill sons, where brothers kill brothers, when trust is close to dead, when noone knows of spiritual truths anymore, and instead only thinks of the material. We are nearing such an age, at what speed I can't say. We definitely haven't been through it in recent memory.

Art school guy wasn't me.

I'm just tired, and in doubt about my capacity to do this every day for another 40-50 years.

>>133257

Do what? Fringe stuff? Take a week or a month off dude if you're feeling burnt out. The advantage of a rejuvenating break far outweighs the perceived loss of progress of whatever practice you're upholding every day. Or do something else. Start a new hobby. Write something, learn an instrument. Go to a music festival, work out. Whatever you need to do to not break off the relationship you have started with yourself. Take your time anon, and come back when you're ready. The Work doth wait for you.

>>133258

That part is fine, it's really everything else. Work, socialization, personal obligations, it all often keeps me too drained to even read, let alone practice.

The idea of devoting more than half my time to things I don't care about, even remotely, for the next few decades, has been bumming me out.

It seems to me that I've slipped back a bit, and am probably allowing too much of a material influence on my mental state, but I haven't really been able to resolve that.

>>133259

I see. Well, this isn't going to be deep advice, but think about your obligations. I assume NEETdom isn't desirable, but you can probably find a less taxing job. Same goes for socialization. Tell your friends that you feel burnt out and that you'd rather keep more to yourself for the next days or weeks. If your personal obligations involve something akin to taking care of a sick person, maybe you can find an affordable alternative like a caretaker.

Obviously tying in your occult efforts to achieving that kind of freedom will help. So maybe ask a spirit to help you out, or cast sigils and spells for that purpose.

>haven't been able to solve that

Go on a vacation. Get fucked up and meditate on your life. Contact your higher self for guidance. You're meant to be your best self and you will be, so fuck the naysayers and trust yourself anon.

The split we endure is hard, but as humans, as beings of a fundamentally dualistic nature, we are not just capable, we are meant to achieve this split. Just pick either side and forget about the other for a while. Don't feel guilty or worried that you're missing out on anything. You know you're not. Treat yourself, because you probably deserve it.

>>133262

Hope that helps in any way. Existence can be a nigger sometimes.

>>133259

Stop being a slave to society you fucking retarded cuck

>>133750

Why are you angry and despairing?

>>133750

>It wants to kill

>It

Whenever you say 'it', you know you're getting looshed, matey. That 'it' is some astral bugs latched onto you. You can even feel them now, you've been feeding them so much. Really gross.