https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCYnuBwXDL0
I'm here listening to this after being cheated on... and it hits hard. Sorry, internet fellas, but I have to vent. I feel hollow and surrounded by her physical remnants-memories. All the best memories are hers. But I feel so much chest pain it's unbelievable. I never expected this to happen. Considering my previous flings, I thought I would cope easily and belittle my own feelings on the whole thing, but no. I feel like I want to be comatose for a long while... a really long while. I'm mixing some sleeping pills and other pills to knock me into 21-hour sleeps. I can't eat, and I can't believe I wasted three years on a lie. Thinking I did enough. Thinking I was enough. I thought I was alright, but I still had it coming.
I don't think I'll be a good partner later on, nor a good husband, nor a good lover. I want to simply disappear and be far, far away. Off-world. The elusive off-world colonies. Maybe my autistic self would feel less like an alien there than on this planet-or in this country.
I tend to be hard on depressed people who get down after a breakup. I never expected that I'd hit another one like this. I was gonna marry her, man. But yeah....
I don't know what to tell you guys, but I think that's it... my final message.
