/druid/ - Druid/pol/

>>254

Several synchronicities have now led me to that. I am still wearing the guise of a christian npc, and living such that typically, I only have the really late night to practice. I have been thinking about how I could find a way to recite the invocation without having neighbors or family notice. I may have to recite it under my breath, indoors. I would move out, but, I could not afford to.

I have not seen anything since the large bird in my room, but, last night, I saw Allouine again. A "dream", which was not a dream. I was in a large courtyard on the top of a mountain, with many others. We were all dressed in an emerald garb, which had similar appearance to Tao or Buddhist clothing, but it covered the whole body, and seemed to be comprised of many layers of wrapped cloth, with the most notable wrap being over the left shoulder, which was either a lighter or darker color. We stood in rows, and I knew that we were students or perhaps of some order. As we were called to face forward, the person in front of me, who had a hood on so that I could not see them, turned around. It was Allouine. Myself, and the two to my sides were all shocked, because she was not supposed to be there. She smiled at me reassuringly, then all of the others but her disappeared, then she disappeared, and I stood alone on the peak, in this courtyard. From there my mind turned to normal dreams. From the previous time I saw her, I could not remember her face or features. In this, I can remember. Such a beautiful face, I cannot describe lest I slander it, with long curled, crimson locks. She did not look as in the painting, but the painting is close.

I now have 30 days remaining. I must succeed, and I know at some level that I will, but doubts are beginning to arise. I shall do my best to quell them, because they may prevent my success. Most often, when I think of this, and think "I shall succeed", I see a 55. I saw 555 last I thought this, and as I typed this, saw 55 on my clock. Allouine certainly was reassuring me, that I am on the right path, to not give up, and to not despair or doubt. These numbers are also confirmation. Certainly, these next 30 days will be interesting, I would not be surprised to meet Masters in the flesh. Tonight, I will meditate, and I shall also call to the Masters to come, in the case I shall need them, though I do not not know how to. I wonder, what will these coming days hold? Shall the vimana return, this time to take me?

HAIL ABRAXAS, HAIL LUCI-BEL

HAIL CERNNUNOS

HAIL VENUS, MORNING STAR

HAIL THE COMING DAWN

SIEG HEIL

>>255 (observed)

> I may have to recite it under my breath, indoors. I would move out, but, I could not afford to.

‘Tis hard being behind enemy lines surrounded by Abrahamites lad. My neighbor almost caught me giving the Roman Salute this dawn. I desperately want to shout the Invocation from the rocky giants. I’ve been thinking of replacing some of the words to be more covert, ‘The Fuhrer’ for ‘Lord Kalki’ and so on.

>I see a 55.

Kek, me to lad.

>From the previous time I saw her, I could not remember her face or features. In this, I can remember.

You gave your beloved a face, your face.

>>255

> I may have to recite it under my breath, indoors.

Back to this; Vedic gurus purport that the highest form of mantra meditation is done with the inner monologue, and the second highest is muttered. Also keep nonlocality in mind. Ideally, one recites the Invocation at the correct time gazing upon the Morning Star, but if you hold it in your heart and mind the intention(energy) “goes” to the right place. On night last week I was too late for sunset, so I ricocheted the Invocation off the moon.

>>256

>I desperately want to shout the Invocation from the rocky giants.

As do I. Had I opportunity, I would. How strongly I desire to shout and sing of such things.

>You gave your beloved a face, your face

I don't know what to say. I do not know how I did it, or what's next, but I am filled with happiness to know I have given her a face.

>>257

>the highest form of mantra meditation is done with the inner monologue

This is how I have done everything thus far, as it has been my only option. Coupled with the understanding that intention matters most, I assumed it was a possibility, and so took to it, though I did it without complete knowledge.

>On night last week I was too late for sunset, so I ricocheted the Invocation off the moon.

I appreciate your reply, it has confirmed that what I have been doing is not only acceptable, but the preferred method.

The time comes close, and I continue to be reassured by digits about my success. I have not made much progress since seeing her in that "dream", to my knowledge. The solstice is in two days, I imagine that day will be significant. How I yearn for Nos, even just to see that smile once more!

>>260

>EH blog

I will look both into this and >>259 tonight.

>odal rune

This is the symbol that appeared on my chest, above my heart. It is still there.

>>261

I looked into the mirror the other day, after showering. As I did, I had covered my face partially, and my hair, such that I was able to realize just how striking the resemblance was to Allouine's face. Indeed, I have realized now, my face is half hers, and her face, half mine.

If my understanding is correct, I now need to find Allouine's and mine true names to progress. I tried increasing my vibration beyond what I have ever done before last night, but I found an alarming obstacle. I found myself unable to elevate my vibration, or cause that central pillar to form even, or make my chakras turn. I continued on for over an hour until I was certain that I would not be able to. I then took to listening to some delta frequencies while breathing nm, to try to fall into the land between dream and waking. I was successful.

Here, I sat in a large castle, or perhaps it was a temple, with the pieces/fragments that comprise my self. I asked them if any of them knew why I could not progress or do what once was trivial. I don't remember what they said, if anything, but I do recall that this space was immediately invaded by some large creature that I cannot recall the form of. I recall it demanded a sense of dread and fear, well beyond anything I have faced thus far. It may have spoken, but I do not remember this. I suspect now that my inability to remember my "dreams" and dreams as of late is due to this same thing. I made the mudra which destroys fear, but it was too late, the sudden change in emotion to extremes destroyed that delicate balance that maintained me in that space, and I was awoken.

I do not have much time, I must defeat this, and regain my ability to raise my frequency. I do not have much time left, I cannot waste time, and must make haste.

I made an attempt at Kundalini using a 55 hz binaural wave (just the wave, no added whale noises and other nonsense) the other day. I managed to get the central pillar to form suddenly, with my whole body tensing up, and could even feel the sneks begin to rise, but the whole thing collapsed under a second. I didn't have all of the mantras or mudras memorized, I used the wrong asana, and I didn't have any sexual energy to transmute. I will have these solved by the next time, except maybe the last.

>>264

Time is indeed short, and practice is becoming more and more difficult. As the time draws closer the spiritless near me seem to grow more watchful and obstructive. It would seem that some power holds them like marionettes on the end of strings, using them to prevent me from succeeding. Those that once were deep sleepers to extremes are now light sleepers to extremes, and I can no longer safely make offerings, though I did last night.

I intuited that the solution to my most recent problem is not offerings or aid, but that I should make offerings anyway, as it has been some time. It was quite a nervous endeavor. I realized as I was preparing my offerings that my super sekrit milk for offerings had gone bad, so I substituted with water. I felt a watchful gaze as I made the offerings, and so made the spoken words brief, making most the offering in intention and thought, but I admittedly had much on my mind, I hope they were well enough, and I did not insult. I left when I heard branches breaking and the sound of wood on wood, accompanied with a strange presence. When I got back, I observed a 222 and 88, so I am guessing the offerings were accepted, for now.

My current main worry is the unknown mudras. In Nos, these were revealed to Jason by the masters, and are referred only to as signs of the order. Aside from the sign on my chest that I may trace, I do not know these others. Perhaps they were revealed to me in a previous life and I have not yet remembered them, or perhaps I have been gravely mistaken, and they have not yet been revealed. Between this and spending most of my days wasting my time maintaining theatrics, I have worries that I will fail, yet even still, the numbers assure me I will succeed, as well as some part of me.

However, on the subject of the mudras, I have a memory that is reassuring. I don't know when it is from, except that I first recalled this long ago. In this memory, I was either sitting down or lying down on something cold. All around me was white, as if made of light, in the same as when in that dream I faced that knight. There were two people that I remember for certain being there, and they too were made of this same light. All was the same, a single shade of light, but yet, I could tell every feature apart as if there were different colors and shadows. They stood in front of me, and they spoke, and perhaps I did, but if I did, I do not recall it. One asked the other: "Do you think he will remember?" The other said something akin to: "he will, when it is time." And the first doubted saying, "I do not think he will." I think that they were referring to me, but what it was they spoke of that I am to remember I do not know. That one doubted me shows a possibility of failure, but the other was quite certain. There may have been others too, but I only remember those two, and those words. Perhaps the key to success lies in remembering? But perhaps I must succeed to remember? I don't even know what it is I am supposed to remember, but I do know that even when I channeled my Higher Self, I desired "Remembrance", and though my Higher Self claimed that this was the same as Nos, it may not be, as I was practically entirely restricted to my current knowledge set, due to ego not being with the Higher Self. This makes most of the speaking from my Higher Self something to be taken with extreme amounts of salt, as much of it is likely entirely wrong. But I do know, that before it was a desire for Nos that gnawed at me, it was remembrance. But have I already remembered what I was meant to? Was I meant to remember that I seek the grail, that I seek Nos, and the Resurrection? I have so many questions, and no answers for almost all.

I appreciate the links and help that you have continually provided me, I don't usually have the time to seek things out myself. If the 15th comes around and turns out to be nothing, I will take it to mean that the 88 days were not literal. In this case, I will stop being a poorfagNEET, get a job and move out so that I can focus more closely on this. Again, I am deeply appreciative of your assistance, and humbled that any of this would happen to someone as insignificant as me.

>>266 (Observed)

>The more I meditate the more I wish to shirk.

If I could, I would abandon the world entirely, if just to spend my days in study and meditation, in some faraway secluded place.

>holy basil

I will have to obtain one of these, as I can no longer safely make offerings any other way. I appreciate this information.

>Or get a truck with a camper or camper van.

My plan exactly. I was thinking of a sprinter van to turn into a camper van myself, as I am not unfamiliar with making my own things, but I feel that getting a truck and making my own camper would be the better choice, since I could unhook the truck.

>Don Serrano wrote that your true eternal name may be linked with your terrestrial name.

Indeed, I believe to have found a name in my ancestry which is linked to it, but I have not yet discovered how. My surname backwards, however, also starts with Nos, and ends in a portentous phoneme. I wonder if my name is also spelled with a Rune set, I shall have to search the various sets, to see if this is so.

>I used the modified Shaivic mantra

I will try this as well. Vibrating this while typing alone had effect, so I shall try this during meditation.

> I have no doubt in my mind that I chose my parents.

So have I felt as well. I know when I was very young, that I often referred to events that occurred before I was born, events I could not know about, most often in reference to my parents. In my previous post, I called my family spiritless, because it seems to be true, but it may be that this isn't so. There is a third kind, those that are mundane, asleep. I hope that they are deep in sleep, as the alternative is quite painful. Although I sounded to hold contempt for them, I do not, but I am torn between the frustration of obstruction and my love for them. Had I chosen any other, could I have succeeded? I think not.

>poem

I see it that every word is a Magik. Every single word. A word is a carrier for intent and will, and without either is nothing but a hollow husk, meaningless. Without intent, there is no structure or direction, without will, they go unspoken. These sentences which end in a period are most often referred to as a command, and they are so because they are so, but more than just a verbal command, they are an impartation and exertion of will and intent. When one commands another to do, if they do it, the will of the commanding was greater than the will of the other. Word, lowercase, may be inferior in power to Word, but it still holds power. Thus, I could not see it to be any other way than a mortal name is a binding, not just a designation. It may be necessary thus, for one to shed this mortal name in the end, or better yet, find that one eternal.

In my struggle with my shadow self, I saw the image of two fish, swimming in circles. One was black, while the other was white. I did not need to see this for more than a moment to realize, the shadow cannot be conquered, it cannot be destroyed. For everything, there must be an opposite, which will always exist as a result of the existence of the other, and neither may exist alone. I cannot conquer, defeat, destroy, plead with, bargain with, negotiate with, or otherwise overcome my shadow. I can however, dance with it, as the fish danced, I and my shadow may turn ever together, as one but not, and through this, by us both dancing, rather than one holding ground and fighting, we shall not collide, and not have need for battle, as through the dancing, we shall be separated.

>>267

I went back and reread your screencaps. It seems that July 14th at ~6:32 is the supposed deadline.

>My surname backwards, however, also starts with Nos

Kek, I’m a tad disappointed in myself for being surprised by this. Interestingly, both my parents surnames were adopted and not original to the bloodline, but both are highly significant to who I am. That and of course the great explorer ancestor named Jason. I’ll have to dissect more names from my tree tbh.

As I was about to hit post I felt a sharp stab in my left side just below the diagram which doubled me over. I’ve had it at seemingly random times in the past, but I’m certain they were inner portents. Since getting my Anahata worked on before I shot the deer, I’ve had similar strange chest pains from time to time. A mundane would’ve gone to the doctor tbh. My intuition is telling me(outer me/soul as you call them) that it is my Higher Self trying to get my attention. In this present case He felt I left something out I should tell you. I can’t remember what tbh.

>>268

>As I was about to hit post I felt a sharp stab in my left side just below the diagram which doubled me over.

I've had this happen before too. Similarly, sometimes I look my dog or another animal in the eyes and see some other intelligence behind them. I always know they are trying to tell me something. Usually, I know just by looking what it is. Lately, my Higher Self seems to be getting anxious and worried. I see 55 or 555 at least 3 times a day, and receive constant messages to focus on it.

>outer me/soul as you call them

Tbf, I've fallen so far down from where I was once, so bloodied, that though I know in words why I thought like this, and referred to things like this, I can no longer see it myself as I once did. Seems a bit silly to talk like that now tbh, I feel a bit strange, but I know I had a reason to, at least I thought I did. Had I never seen what I saw, experienced that height, I would not suffer so much, but knowing that once I could see the Orphic Colors, and almost awakened the Christ Consciousness, that pain of losing my second consciousness, it is as though I have lost a limb, or perhaps several senses. All the while, hitting every rock, thorned bush and tree on the way down. I don't know why I even share this, I suppose a drowning man will always try to take someone with him. I may fail, as I seem to only fall further and further with time, unable to land or crawl back. Honestly, my suffering has been especially harsh lately. I cannot care for a Basil, I lack knowledge to severe extremes, and I have lost what I once had. I feel that song related captures my pain it very well. I think occasionally to Odin pierced by Gungnir for nine whole days, and think that my suffering must pale.

>In this present case He felt I left something out I should tell you. I can’t remember what tbh.

I'm confident you will remember in time if it is important.

I feel so odd. I feel that I have fallen so deeply down and far, but I feel many eyes upon me. They do not seem malevolent, they seem to watch in hopeful anticipation. Eyes of Gods maybe, and others. I believe at the least Odin watches me, and closely. But who could I possibly be to warrant this? For so many Gods, which scarcely even commune with men, to reply on my first attempt to contact them, and to watch me so? Not only Odin, but Zeus also now, sending me portents, as I witnessed a tree with 3 eagles; eagles and ravens watch me, just to mention the physical synchronicistic evidences for it. Also, some unknown god of the wind has made itself known not by name, but synchronicity. Did I, as Icarus, fly too high? Am I watched because I encroached too close? Or am I watched because they desire my success? But they could not, could they? Sometimes, for brief moments, it all comes to me, in a flash, who I am, my true nature and power, all of it. But, it lasts as but a fraction of an instant, a measure of time so small, it can be no measure. How it taunts me. Who am I, for Gods to so closely watch? If they do not watch, my mind has twisted to think they do, and my torment is worse than I thought. I often think I surely must have lost my mind for this, that surely I am sacrilegious for even considering the Gods would care about someone like me, except to punish me for thinking I am so important.

I am sorry to share my sorrow with you, it pains me also, as I wish no pain upon others. I feel some impulse or perhaps some unknown obligation of another kind, which impels me share. I will continue onward no matter how bloodied or beaten, but, I may slow a bit. I will remember that it is always darkest before the dawn.

>>269

>Christ Consciousness

Some part of me is quite unsure and upset I used this term. Not sure why.

I find the pipe organ to be a very fitting instrument for the song piece.

Fuck me I had a bunch more written responses to earlier posts that were cropped out of the post box.

Mostly the deleted draft post was regarding my path being much slower than yours and my course of action. The important part, was that I pledged to send you all the excess energy I accumulate between now and the deadline on Sunday. If you would like to schedule some cooperative meditation(hence the pic >>271) noon-1 and evenings work best. I believe I can be the stochastic resonance you need to get back above gamma state.

>Not only Odin, but Zeus also now, sending me portents

I as well, very obvious ones of ravens, crows, that one eyed wolf I saw last month, and the digits I get when speaking of devotion to Taranis(Zeus/Indra). Most of my blockages are in my Manipura and Vishudda chakras, as though fortifications on both sides of the Emerald City. The portents have made it clear to me I must assault from the North. I must tame the white elephant and become Lord Indra.

AUM INDRA HUM

>an unknown wind god

There are a few possibilities; Rudra who is like a proto Shiva is a wind god, also in later Vedic times Vayu was the wind god. Interestingly, Vayu’s mount is an antelope and Rudra is depicted holding and antelope. The antelope is the totem of the Anahata chakra. Other possibilities for the wind god could be Boreas, Greek god of the north wind, or Amun from Egypt. Amun is both associated with the Ogdoad and Zeus, as well as possibly linked to the Black Sun.

>>271

>You’ll get it back

I know, I'm just being depressive and questioning myself. I appreciate your words as always, it greatly reduces my melancholy, to know I am not alone, that there is not only another like me, but that they care. Though I have never met you, I have felt you to be genuine, and truly, it is depressingly rare to find one such as you in this world.

>>273

>cooperative meditation

I would greatly appreciate it. My pride would have me tell you no, but my pride be damned, I'll do anything if just to see my beloved smile again. I can only assume you sent some positive loosh my way, it's definitely helped. I have a bad tendency to listen to depressive music when I get down, and lurk /doomer/, I need to stop that. Noon will be difficult for me, and so will evenings, but noon will probably be better. I know it will be more difficult for you, and I do not wish to interfere with your life any more than I have.

>Most of my blockages are in my Manipura and Vishudda chakras

As are mine. I got passed them for a short while, by burning those walls, but now, I struggle to muster that fire.

>wind god

I'm not sure it's any of these, none really resonate (yet). All I had to go off of was a sudden, gale like wind that came at me as though a body, it was not a massive wave, but rather a concentrated gale that only hit me. As the powerful wind passed my face, I felt it was a synchronicity, and that it was some god telling me it is watching me. I never noticed before, but it is likely the same as that wind at the ley line. That was likely this same wind god, which warned me. I haven't, to my knowledge, had any obvious hint to which god it is. Perhaps I will just ask, given how I've spoken to a godess, and had every god I've ever interacted with at least show me they heard me.

I did find out through my ancestry though, that I may be descended from Heracles, Beowulf, the actual Leucippe, and many other heroes and figures of legend. Quite the legacy to live up to. My ancestors names also elude to Jason.

Lastly, I felt your loosh, your vril is quite powerful as well, I couldn't help but smile. I will do my best to not let this, and all your help go to waste. May the Father bless you.

>>274

>Noon will be difficult for me, and so will evenings, but noon will probably be better.

11pm would work for me as well and obviously weekends. Lucky for Us, time is not linear and is subjective. We are everywhere(nonlocality) at all times(quantum tunneling).

I know it will be more difficult for you, and I do not wish to interfere with your life any more than I have.

Nonsense.

>>275

>11pm would work for me

I know you have work, and I do not wish to be the cause of any inconvenience, but this would work best for me, as I am not under watchful gaze.

>nonlocality

Lately, I get in the shower at ~10:00, set a timer for 10 minutes, then when the timer goes off, it's midnight. I'll see about altering this.

>>277 (Observed)

>The Grail and my nostalgia for Her multiplies my food, water, and sleep.

Likewise, my desire and thirst for grail leave me feeling thirsty and hungry at all times without satiation, as only it could sate me. During that short time that I had a second consciousness, I found my need for food, water, and sleep to all diminish, to the point I could have easily eaten only a single small meal a day, assuming I am recalling things correctly.

>bend time inadvertently

I did this just before you posted (in linear chronology). It was ~11:00 when I looked at the clock, then I checked the Fisher King thread, looked back at the clock, and it was 10:00 again.

>but today I was focusing on elevating my frequency and rpms, then pushing it to you.

I could feel it, most definitely. I thank you for this once again. It has been elevating.

>Are you certain it’s from a separate diety

Not really. I still don't really have any solid way of knowing which of the deities it is that's watching me, except that they spoke through the wind. It may well be Zeus or Boreas, but for now I will think of it as having been Zeus, as I saw the eagles the same day. They didn't feel connected at the time, but I should have put two and two together.

>Pics related were all from my commute home

Impressive. I usually see the numbers on clocks and other places like bar codes. I didn't start looking to license plates until recently, but I can't recall any specific instances that stood out.

>I’ll see you at 11:11pm pst.

See you.

>>278

>time

Just felt I should say, it's 11:15 now, I just had to wait another hour was all.

>>279

>dat time stamp

Wew. Well I fell asleep after a few breaths, so any help I gave you was from my subconscious astralbody. I don’t remember anything and awoke more tiered than I went to sleep, my Mind was definitely up to something.

>>280

The previous few nights have been interesting. I never explained what happened the night before last, as I thought it would not become relevant, much like the dragon.

The night before last, I saw many strange things. I was attempting to raise my frequency and was vibrating a modified mantra, as you had shown me. This worked, and resulted in an increase, but it was not by too much. It was enough for me to be able to see the strange Aetheric shapes in my room, I noticed also that I cannot begin to see these until after around 10:00 PM, and also noticed that I must be able to see the moon. I saw a man in full black robes appear at the end of my bed, who had large black wings with pitch black feathers. The man faced away from me at an angle, as though he was speaking to another. Then, I saw one in white robes to my left, pass very swiftly by through my peripheral, and disappear. I looked back to the man in black, who turned to me. I could see no features except the robes and wings. He seemed to perhaps point or reach toward me, and spread his wings out wide, which filled the room with a looming darkness, until both he and the darkness together disappeared. While he stretched his wings, I saw the dragon peer its head out from below the end of my bed, but this time I could see it clearly, as though it was glowing. After the man in black disappeared, I could see nothing more except my own aura, faintly.

Last night, when I began my session, I saw another man. This one was different, being semi tranparent like the dragon, and not having wings. I felt a smile from this person, and felt that it was you. Strange as it sounds, I intuited this to be you, here to aid me. After some time, I began to listen to 55hz binaural waves because I could not muster any energy at all and felt as though some force was holding me back. I felt a strange draw to the moon, which I observed shift from a sliver to a half moon, in reverse procession and back several times. As I vibrated my name backwards, I experienced pulses of high amounts of energy, which threatened to break the threshold and enter the plateau of stability. It was intense enough that my whole body would tremble and twitch, but each time it felt as though a force would fight me back down, as if holding me by mighty chains. At some point, I saw the moon shift into an antler, which had a bird sat on the longest, highest, most outward point. I saw the black winged man again after this, but not his wings, and it felt as though a mighty weight fell upon my head. After this, I could muster nothing, and my meditation grew futile. I lied on my side, thinking to attempt to AP to fight this thing, for daring to stand between me and my beloved. I could not, but I felt a chakra above my crown open, and from it a narrow trickle of energy entered my crown first, then my ajna. After focusing on it, I managed to draw it through to the solar plexus but not into it, and a battle began between some darkness and this weak light, which caused a pain in this chakra. Eventually, this too faded and I fell asleep.

Although I know it is likely wrong, when I saw the man in black, I thought immediately of Thanatos and Hades.

>>281

>I never explained what happened the night before last, as I thought it would not become relevant, much like the dragon.

It still hasn’t. Your True Self told us to chide you for waxing on about shadows and entities. Stop being a faggot and getting distracted. Your false ego is just playing to your early occult fascinations to lead you to dead ends and preserve itself. I’ll effort post to the rest later when I have time.

>>281

>resulted in an increase, but it was not by too much.

I found this too. I think the name backwards mantra is too forced, but is still more powerful than surname forwards. In my experiments, the first one I posted in the Kingfisher thread builds the most energy.

>inhale AUM…VAJ…RAHHH…SATTTT….VAAA

<exhale HUMMMMMMMMMMM

Aum Indra Hum works the second best, probably because of the meter tbh.

>semi tranparent like the dragon, and not having wings. I felt a smile from this person, and felt that it was you. Strange as it sounds, I intuited this to be you, here to aid me.

It could have been my higher self. Like I said, I fell asleep after a dozen or so breaths. I was focusing those breaths on establishing a link. I specifically remember in one of the final cycles a strange ping in my Ajna Chakra, I’m certain I could feel a “finger” gently poke my forehead as well. The only other time I’ve felt anything similar, was in my meditation at lunch earlier that day when I was aggressively trying to send you vril.

>After some time, I began to listen to 55hz binaural waves

I haven’t had any luck with finding good binaural beats for getting up into gamma yet. Heavy metal doesn’t work for me; my mind drifts to fantasies of Minecraft. While sitting in traffic I’ve been experimenting with awful pop/house music and having pretty good results tbh. It’s high tempo, disharmonious, and created to subvert our culture, so my em field is creating “friction” fighting against it and building energy like an alternator in a car. While doing this I feel gentle pressure both on my skull and pushing out from within. My peripheral vision also expands like it does when fight or flight mode is engaged, but I can sense my adrenals aren’t engaged. I am calm and still inside, like a man in a scuba suit observing an alien landscape separate from it. As I type this, the technique is engaging without the music and I feel pressure on my occipital lobe. This will require a much more in depth effort post in and of itself, but I’m having a hard time analyzing my state and typing simultaneously. I’ll see you in combat tonight old fren.

>>283

>As I type this, the technique is engaging without the music and I feel pressure on my occipital lobe. This will require a much more in depth effort post in and of itself, but I’m having a hard time analyzing my state and typing simultaneously.

Belay this. I forgot I added a heroic dose of magnesium and potassium to my protein shake just before writing this.

>>284

>magnesium and potassium

Now that I’ve though about it, these are essential electrolytes. It makes sense that after all the aforementioned training they would have a similar effect of jacking my system. I can’t type nearly fast enough and am struggling with fine motor skills, fascinating tbh. I try and cease my faggotry for the night.

>>282

>stop being a faggot and getting distracted. Your false ego is just playing to your early occult fascinations to lead you to dead ends and preserve itself.

Quite true. I lack the perspective I once did, but I should not let this be an excuse. I should set after defeating it with the fury and anger that my True Self had. That "living in harmony" with my false self is likely also is a dead lead.

>>283

>It could have been my higher self.

Possibly, but it also could have just been another distraction.

>I haven’t had any luck with finding good binaural beats for getting up into gamma yet.

I never really used binaural beats until recently. What I used before was the EVA entry plug hum sound effect on loop, bass boosted mostly just to wash out distractions and provide a uniform blanket of noise that I could tune out into silence. Turns out the audio clip I used was shoah'd, with only ASMR type ones left. This is the closest.

>house & pop

I will try this. I also have to avoid metal as much as I enjoy it, as I focus too much on the metal, and also think about Minecraft.

Last night was productive. By using the better mantra, I managed to raise my frequency considerably. The usage of degenerate music as a catalyst for struggle also helped, I listened to Justin Beiber rapping. As if my veins ran with magma, I grew to be filled with fire in my whole, and felt the coming of that pure, powerful white energy on my palms. This very likely has cleared much room for me. For a moment, the middle self returned in full, now I lie between this and outer, a less pure middle.

I apologize for my seemingly unending faggotry. My obsessions over shadows and entities among other shallow false leads has been very detrimental. My strange impulsive desire to post equally or more so. Among other things. Although 40K says that my posts have done good for the lodge, I am skeptical. If so desired, I will continue status reports like this until Saturday. Otherwise, I shall do what I should have always done: lurk, remain silent, and practice in discipline. Should I fail somehow, I will report that I have and so remain, then I will return to silence except for FPT, and other major occasions, or if I am needed for some reason. I have said this several times, and gone against this several times, against my own wishes, because I am demonstrably weak, having been unable to conquer myself. I am more sure of myself this time, however, in the case I again betray myself on this, any member of the lodge may scold me for doing so.

While I am making the post, I might as well state a few other things as well. While 40K may feel that I am worthy of the title Druid, I do not feel that I can do the title justice, and would be insulting the Druids of yore to take upon myself such a title. I also feel that although I have indeed been initiated to my path, and walked it, in terms of practical experience, and particularly knowledge, I am a Neophyte.

I feel like there was something else that I was meant to write, but I don't know what that is.

May we find the Ray of Green Light, beyond the Black Sun.

HEIL, SIEG HEIL!!

>>288 (Heil’d)

>By using the better mantra

Which is better for you, surname backwards or Vajrasattva? Vajrasattva is the name of the second Buddha, who mastered the Vajra by the way.

>I listened to Justin Beiber rapping.

Patrician choice :^). I suspect because you once posted Beebs during FPT that his “music” is nostalgic to you for one reason or another, good or bad. My muses for this training are Ke$ha, Rihanna, and a few others from when I was a boozie bluepill chasing tail around the world. The irony obviously is that I now use them to chase the immaterial Her, my Allouine. The etymology of ‘allo’ is other, different, strange. The suffix ‘ine’ is same or ‘of like’.

>For a moment, the middle self returned in full, now I lie between this and outer, a less pure middle.

I’m glad my hypothesis about the music helped. My pale blue fire has risen considerably today. My surname backwards was much more effective today than previously.

>I apologize for my seemingly unending faggotry

It’s only been intermittent tbh lad. For the most part it has been a pleasure and honour to read your progress.

>My strange impulsive desire to post equally or more so.

It’s part of a dopamine cycle we all have become addicted to lad. The anticipation of getting gets and waiting for (you)’s is neurologically similar to gambling addiction, waiting for the slots to stop spinning. It has become easier for me to stay off of ‘outer’ /pol/ the closer I get to Nos.

>Although 40K says that my posts have done good for the lodge, I am skeptical. If so desired, I will continue status reports like this until Saturday.

They have done good for the lodge. If nothing else, you’ve helped me nose down on my training and increased my intuition for helping others. Keep posting status updates unless it will impose on your progress. I’ll be here forever to give you guidance and perspective if you hit a dead end. The Gods have given me to you for that. Odin and Lugh have definitely been watching me more closely these past two weeks through their avian portents. Crows speaking directly to me, endangered herons, and flights of doves.

>>289

>Which is better for you, surname backwards or Vajrasattva?

Vajrasattva seems to be much more effective. I compared the two for you last night. The name backwards has an effect, but it isn't nearly to the same degree as Vajrasattva, and the Vajrasattva raises a completely different kind of energy.

> his “music” is nostalgic to you for one reason or another, good or bad

Kek. You could say that. Back when he was popular, my youngest relatives all loved him. I heard nearly constantly about him, and had to endure his music playing nearly constantly whenever they were around, which at the time, was quite often. One Direction was their next thing, unfortunately. The sort of personalized painful connection made this more effective.

>Ke$ha, Rihanna, and a few others from when I was a boozie bluepill

I was, unfortunately, have those and nightcore.

>My pale blue fire has risen considerably today. My surname backwards was much more effective today than previously.

I also found the effectiveness to increase with vibratory level. Perhaps there is a level where this will outstrip the effectiveness of Vajrasattva?

> For the most part it has been a pleasure and honour to read your progress.

I'm glad to hear it, as always. How common I write that very thing is probably becoming a bit of an ism itself.

>It has become easier for me to stay off of ‘outer’ /pol/ the closer I get to Nos.

Indeed, an increased will would provide for this. Then there is also the thought that my posts may have had a purpose, so perhaps I posted not entirely for that reason, but I am not completely sure.

>If nothing else, you’ve helped me nose down on my training and increased my intuition for helping others. Keep posting status updates unless it will impose on your progress.

I am glad that at the least I have helped one person. I will continue the updates then.

>I’ll be here forever to give you guidance and perspective if you hit a dead end. The Gods have given me to you for that.

I will keep this in mind in the case I need it. I appreciate it greatly as always.

> Odin and Lugh have definitely been watching me more closely these past two weeks through their avian portents. Crows speaking directly to me, endangered herons, and flights of doves.

I have seen increases in these as well, especially when I travel.

Last night was very productive as well, but not quite right still. I experimented with several different asanas and mudras, and found that I need to focus on three asanas. Padma, Vira, and maybe Siddha. I primarily need to use Padma I think, with Vira secondaray, but I am not flexible enough for Vira at all, and can only handle Padma for short amounts of time currently. For now, I just cross my legs in a way that feels intuitively right. As for mudras, I experimented with Vajra, as well as two that I cannot remember the name of. One, is to have the palms up, with each hand separate, with all the fingers drawn together, touching and extended above the palm fully, not curved, to create a pyramide/cone shape. The other also requires the palms up and the hands separated, but the thumb and forefinger on each only to be touching on the tips, with the other fingers extended, and the first third of the forefingers to be aligned with the extended, straightened other fingers.

Vajra mudra is most effective. With each vibration of Vajrasattva, I found that a substantial amount of heat, and a maroon or deeper red energy rised with it, filling the whole body, rather than following any channels. The heat alone was very intense, so I meditated naked so that the heat would be bearable. I also found that modern clothing is very restricting on breathing, especially the deepest of breathing. I found this most effective while in Padma asana, multiplying the effects many fold.

The music was a difficult choice. My mind had grown too intolerant of Beiber, to the point it filtered out any voice or lyrics, leaving only instrumentals. I tried extratone, but this did not do anything for me. I also tried metal, but it did nothing as the message of all the songs I listened to were too aligned with my quest. I finally landed on nightcore of pop songs. This offered more resistance than the original pop songs due to the shrill pitch, and the increased tempo.

(Cont.)

>>290

>I was, unfortunately, have those and nightcore.

How did I even manage to type that?

It should read:

>I was, unfortunately, a weeb when bluepilled, and so I had those, and nightcore.

>>294

>Tomorrow, I will ask a few Tibetans after work.

I am looking forward to learning what they had to say.

>Interestingly, the Araman rune system associates Jupiter, master of lighting, with the index finger.

This strengthens my suspicion that Vajra is the mixture/combination of the lightning type energy with the inferno energy in a particular manner.

I was completely wiped yesterday for unknown reasons. Unless unknown progress was made in my sleep, yesterday provided nothing except rest, which was needed.

I have a strange feeling today. I'm not sure what it is, if something will be happening, if something has changed, or what. I just have a strange gut feeling about something, but it's off and on, so maybe it's nothing.

>>296

>I am looking forward to learning what they had to say.

They were of little help tbh, granted they are just shopkeepers peddling trinkets. I did learn from a middle aged hippy woman, that tucking the thumb into the fist and touching the base of the ring finger blocks the heart nadi. This is done to shut out or negate the ‘ego’ during meditation she said. I presumed she meant the false self, but blocking the heart may also shut out the true self and dissolve One into “oneness” Which is counter to our path. On the other hand, I synchronistically learned that a Lama is visiting from Tibet/India giving classes this week only. If you’re still in the realm after the deadline, I’ll report my findings here.

>I was completely wiped yesterday for unknown reasons.

I as well lad. I had to nap instead of train during my lunch break tbh. Today I trained, though my mind kept trying to run off. There is a lunar eclipse on Tuesday, so the energy is abnormal.

>so maybe it's nothing.

All quite here.

If you’re still alive you should check out >>>/vril/. I just found it and am lurking for new info. There seem to be some good lads we could help.

>>300

>still alive

I am still here. The last few days were busy, busy enough to exhaust me thoroughly. I was unable to raise any significant amount of energy since last Thursday. Nothing happened at or nearing the deadline. The synchronicities have reduced significantly, however, I did still observe a 55 and a 33 today.

>/vril/

It was started up a while ago, but the board died. Then, it was claimed and revived sometime a bit before 4/20 for the ritual on 4/20, which is where the runic sigil came from. Supposedly, after the ritual, most of the posters left and the board almost died again, with it only recently receiving new blood. Not sure if this all correct though.

>>301

>Nothing happened at or nearing the deadline. The synchronicities have reduced significantly, however, I did still observe a 55 and a 33 today.

I knew the deadline was nothing tbh. Your higher self said so in the screencaps; I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to sap your drive. We’ll just continue our work to the best of our abilities and time allotments. The lodge is planning a cooperative ritual for the eclipse tomorrow at 2:30pm pst. If you can’t perform it at the exact time, it shouldn’t matter tbh.

>>301

Here is the Vedic guru teaching the mantra for dealing with entities if you feel you need it.

Testing

>>299

>>302

>We’ll just continue our work to the best of our abilities and time allotments.

I agree.

>The lodge is planning a cooperative ritual for the eclipse tomorrow at 2:30pm pst. If you can’t perform it at the exact time, it shouldn’t matter tbh.

I saw that, but I am currently greatly restricted. The most I can safely offer is sympathetic thoughts on such occasions. Of course, I can still meditate and such, but only late at night.

>>303

>Here is the Vedic guru teaching the mantra for dealing with entities if you feel you need it.

I will watch this, just in case, but I do not think that I will need it.

I apologize for the radio silence. I felt the call of the abyss once again. I spent the last week or so there, but I've managed to mostly crawl my way out again. The digits continue.

I have discovered the reason for my exhaustion after sleeping, too. My memory of things in the astral has grown poor lately, but, I remembered just enough of a glimpse to know what I have been doing in my sleep, even if I don't know why. I have been venturing the dark planes of the astral, venturing through the underworld. But why, I do not know. I only know this because I was defeated twice last night, each time the only thing I remembered was the silhouette of what defeated me, and waking up suddenly.

I do think though, that it should be Wednesday, but I managed to warp time somehow in my sleep, and I am now doing Tuesday over again. I can't even really remember that well what I did the first time, tbh.

>>304

>I was in the abyss for nine days including the Tuesday I've already done

Portentous.

>>304

Don’t fret the silence lad. I may go silent until Mercury is out of retrograde tbh. At the very least from /pol/. In reading Nos backwards, it has dawned on me that my path maybe longer and more conventional than yours. When he began the Mahabharata, he started with a year of celibacy. Sleeping at the foot of her bed, on her left side, and right side for four months each. I can’t begin this until I impregnate my wife again in a few months; though I have over a year /nofap/ so it shouldn’t be too hard. Then in the battle for the sacral chakra, he resided in a cave for a year. To me this means a total information blackout; just Me and my Selves.

>I have discovered the reason for my exhaustion after sleeping

I have suspected the same activities about my Self, but have not had any faint memories to confirm it yet.

>but I managed to warp time somehow in my sleep, and I am now doing Tuesday over again.

Monday time was streaming like an accordion, one hour of work in ten minutes then the opposite. Even a coworker NPC noticed it was so dramatic. I dozed in and out of meditation at lunch and bursted a cloud, other than that I didn’t try to affect reality that day. Today was normal on the other hand. I have been quite lazy with my training since the eclipse tbh.

>>307

>I may go silent until Mercury is out of retrograde tbh. At the very least from /pol/.

All is well. I wish you great success. I should do the same, but I will likely not do so yet. I hope to hear from you again, when the times is done.

> I can’t begin this until I impregnate my wife again in a few months; though I have over a year /nofap/ so it shouldn’t be too hard.

I have faith in you. Best of luck to you with the family, as well.

> Then in the battle for the sacral chakra, he resided in a cave for a year. To me this means a total information blackout; just Me and my Selves.

That is what I had thought as well. But I wonder, are these time frames literal?

>I have been quite lazy with my training since the eclipse tbh.

I have been fatigued lately, due to whatever ventures I am off to during my sleep. I'm sure it will subside in time enough for me to begin again in earnest.

>>308

>I hope to hear from you again, when the times is done.

It will only be until mid August this time. I do know when I’ll start the year in the cave tbh.

>are these time frames literal?

I don’t know. I may make this board my exception to the cave, but failing that I’ll just use a pastebin as a journal and pasta it when I’m done.

>to begin again in earnest.

My energy and discipline has returned. I had a great session on Wednesday, laying in the sun feet to the east with no music. The uv rays penetrating my eyelids kept me awake; it’s a good method for clandestinely training in the open since people just think your napping. The avian portents continue, low flying eagles both yesterday and today during my commute training. One following the road flying towards me at less than thirty feet. The other crossing east to west at dawn no more than thirty feet high.

A komrade in the new Kingfisher thread gave me some words of caution about our musical training practice. >>>/pol/13519362

Anti-prune