/tg/ - Traditional Games

>40k

Might as well create Yugoslavia: The Planet and send my players there.

I'm not entirely sure how to apply Yugoslavia to my setting. How'd you do that?

This is the imminent future of all of Europe so I suppose you could also make a version where you just add a bunch oikophobic lefties, of niggers and kebab into any otherwise well-functioning society.

>>310572

Just straight up make the Balkans magically appear in the middle of the map somewhere, the imminent chaos won't give people time to worry too much about the hows and whys.

>>310559

palinka is recognized as a mainly hungarian thing though.

>>310580

You think burgers care?

sounds like a great idea.

>>310580

Well, they are part of the Slavosphere, no? What is it?

>>310582

Bite your tongue, my curiosity is not limited in that part of the world.

>>310609

Yeah, I know, Hungarians are of the Magyars, Romanians might have Roman colonist blood. Both are in the Balkans with Albania, at least.

So, did anyone start writing one of these?

>>312706

How would the arrival of the slavs squatting all over it save Cyre from this event? Also,

>a second rusrus who also are even more bonkers than the other one.

Personally, I think it'd be hilarious if the 1990s slavs came in, complete with their guns.

>>312707

>Personally, I think it'd be hilarious if the 1990s slavs came in, complete with their guns.

Its a bit head cannon, I always presumed Breland glassed Cyre because they were losing (or whoever did it because cyre was winning). Being next to newslavia would presumably put them at a disadvantage and disadvantage the slavs which means most people would ease off the trigger.

No magic and gun slavs or traditional slavs, both are great tastes. Season to preference. I think extreme fuel/bullet rationing as the slav mechanic would be amusing. (Magic and Technology are different.)

>>312710

To see an industrial revolution (followed immediately by a continent-breaking war) precipitated by the Slavs of all people would be the cherry on top.

>>312775

>dizelas

Gde si zemljace.

>>312777

putin vodka?

evo samo cekam da neko zapocne rat

>>312775

Alright. How would they react to the idea of combat magic, for a start? And would they turn it against themselves or their new neighbors first?

>>312777

Oh, and, tripsman wins.

I'm going to be honest here: I know almost nothing about the region and its history, aside from a general sense of never quite getting their collective acts fully together. Combined with prior knowledge of the term "balkanization" and what I've gathered from this thread so far, I guess the Palinka Effect is that they spread their chaos to wherever they go and mess things up, but I can't help but assume there must be more nuance to what OP is after than that.

So, can anybody spoon feed this concept to me? It's a part of the world I've just… never paid a lot of attention to. All I've got to go on is my STALKER playing experience, and an extremely vague concept of the US intervening with Serbia in the 90's by bombing one side of a conflict.

>>312706

This pic always made me wonder: why did anon's DM hate Bulgarians? Was he Macedonian or Serb?

>>312786

The tl;dr?

>early 9th century, Slavs settle down

>multiple small kingdoms emerge, most are friendly but constantly eye each other

>Serbian empire becomes a thing, goes to war with Bulgaria over land, breaks apart

>Byzantium tells them to get their shit together because holy shit the Ottomans are coming

>the Ottomans arrive, wreck Byzantium, decide to duke it out with the Slavs

>the Slavs can't unite for shit, first battle of Kosovo happens, Serbia loses but in the process fucks up the Ottomans by killing the Sultan

>Ottomans do nothing for some time because they don't have a Sultan anymore, decide to do peace talks

>Kosovo becomes the LAST STAND of the old Serbian empire (thus the cultural significance for modern day Serbs)

>Ottomans eventually get their shit together, take over, start purging Christians if they don't accept Islam

>Slavs migrate northward, eventually settling into what's today's Serbia

>Austria-Hungary accepts the Slavs to serve as a buffer zone against the Turks

>Albania becomes a thing, basically a Turkish colony of Islamized Slavs and who knows what else (not Illyrians, they got genocide'd way back)

>little of note happens for the next 500 years

>Turks wage war with Austria-Hungary, suppress almost daily rebellions, demand blood taxes, punish everyone not Muslim, shit like that

>eventually Slavs get their shit together, kick out the Turks, form their first independent Kingdom

>Russia shows up, decides to turn the place into a puppet-state (the whole obsession with Russia basically starts there)

>several more wars happen in the meantime, mostly between Slavs and Turks

>Russia figures that it'd be great if they had a pan-Slavic ally state down there, fund some idiots to go out and shoot at a duke

>WW1 happens

>everyone gets fucked over, Kosovo is entirely depopulated in the meantime, shit eventually settles down as the Balkan Slavs unite under one banner

>GREAT YUGOSLAVIAN KINGDOM, WE'RE ALL SOUTH SLAVS

>WW2 happens, Yugoslavia almost sides with the Axis, the whole royalty gets murdered in a putsch overnight by communists

>Belgrade gets bombed by Germany to oblivion (fun fact: Belgrade was razed to the ground 6 times since the ancient Romans)

>everyone gets fucked over again, Kosovo is entirely depopulated again, shit eventually settles down as the Balkans become communist

>GREAT YUGOSLAVIAN COMMUNISM, WE'RE ALL SOUTH SLAVS

>most of the administration is in Serbia, most of the industry is in Slovenia and Croatia

>Tito allows Albanians to migrate to Kosovo, everyone lives on social welfare, nobody needs to do any serious work because lol communism

>Tito dies, money runs out, hyper-inflation's a bitch, communism doesn't work, each nation decides to go their own way

>Serbia doesn't want Yugoslavia to end, the others do, infighting starts and eventually escalates into all-out war

>Albanians decide to kick out the native Serbian population, start terrorist attacks and outright purges in Kosovo

>Yugoslavian army enters the scene, removes Kebab like they did in Bosnia

>the UN is forced to step in, but does nothing besides putting world-wide sanctions on Yugoslavia

>Kebab does more terrorist attacks, starts their own fucking human-trafficking empire, becomes the largest cocaine-smuggler in the entire Europe

>Yugoslavia breaks apart, you now have several nation states by the 90s

>Bill Clinton and Monika Lewinsky scandal happens, Madeline Albright (a Clinton lackey) decides to help him out by diverting attention from it

>lol lets bomb Yugoslavia

>Yugoslavia gets its shit wrecked after NATO decides that bombing civilian targets is a-okay

>Kosovo becomes a NATO puppet state, filled with military bases

>Madeline Albright gets the entire Kosovo telecom as a gift

>WW3 almost happens when the NATO forces are ordered to attack the Russians stationed in Kosovo over some airport

>Yugoslavia breaks apart again, sanctions removed, everyone in charge is either a war criminal, a regular criminal, or soon-to-be criminal

>everyone's fucked, again, because the old communist administrative machine never got replaced with anything that'd allow actual change to happen

>Kosovo becomes independent, but remains an undeveloped shithole that only exists due to drug money and NATO bases

>lol lets join the EU for money

That's not even the half of it, but you get the picture. Communism doesn't work, and you're looking at what will happen to the EU in a couple of decades, if not years.

>>312784

Depends. If united (religion/nationalism) they will export it to neighbors. If not (mostly), they will turn it against themselves. It took a dictator to keep a Yugoslavia together.

>>312804

>>312798

And also the Balkans are on the crossroads of east, west, north and south and nobody wants a strong country to regulate such a gate to everything.

>>312786

>Um something like this

But With More Magic Missiles and purging Kebab

>>312812

And so all fantasylands will grow to fear the Madmen of Metal and Fire.

>>312798

Alright, so that's why they're a mess, (thanks by the way,) but I don't see why that means they'd inevitably spread their chaos like some sort of virus if they instantly appeared in some other fantasy setting. Which is what it seems OP is implying.

I mean, if I take my game setting, the empire's really stable and already used to ignoring smaller distant countries that are too busy fighting amongst themselves to focus on pitching in to the greater effort of saving the world from impending cosmic doom. They'd just ignore the balkans like the rest as long as the balkans weren't any significant threat in order to focus on saving themselves and by extension the rest of those myopic in-fighting idiots who happen to share the planet. Why would every fantasy country inevitably start caring about their conflict and/or become embroiled in it? The empire in my setting is geographically huge compared to them anyway, worst case scenario it'd just easily crush them to minimize the distraction. In this setting there aren't competing comparable powers that wouldn't like it and thus lead to a World War scenario, so it would be much simpler to just flatten the annoyance once and for all than in real life international politics.

>>312810

I see why that was historically a huge deal, but in the modern era of ever increasing air and sea travel, doesn't that matter less than ever?

>>312833

>OP's second pic

>"adjusted for time period"

I was going by those rules, in which case the balkans wouldn't have 90's weapons either, or 90's populations levels. Adjusted for time period they would have comparable population density and magic/technology, but they are definitely smaller geographically. So that'd mean they'd have a smaller military combined, but it wouldn't even be combined because they can't get along with each other. So the empire wouldn't have much trouble picking them off one at a time. It's the ol' divide and conquer but easier because the enemy is already divided. One Kosovo sized country against the military of an empire about the size of North America would be pretty one-sided.

However, I guess I misunderstood this whole exercise. I thought it was a question of if they'll mess everything up and how much. As in, they might not be a problem at all if the setting has its act together enough, is militarily strong enough, etc. You make it sound like they must be a problem, and will be scaled up to whatever level necessary to justify that. If that's the case than sorry, my mistake, I thought ruining everything was optional. Instead they ruin everything over the next hundred years, ultimately break up the empire, and then everybody dies without the international cooperation it takes to stop the big impending threat. Of course they'll screw up any and all settings if making sure they can is part of the scenario. Why bother even asking if the only acceptable answer is yes?

>>312839

With your statements in mind, O faggamuffin, I amend the Effect to include adjustment to whatever enables the Slav to sow long-lasting discord and change.

my setting has the drow in the underdark as slavic and they fuck things up, does that count?

Serbs are best south slavs, and are in the holy trinity of best slavs: Serbs, Belarussians and Russians. Poles are dick slavs. Other south slavs are okay slavs. Ukrainians are also dick slavs. Czech are weird german slavs, but they cook good. Bulgarians are not really slavs, but they are honorary slavs. Hungarians are not slavs, but they are okay. Romanians are not slavs, and to be okay then need to remove gypsy. Baltics may deny it all they want, but they are slavs, and dick slavs at that. Except for Estonia, those guys are not slavs, and they are weird as fuck. Kosovo je Srbija.

t. Slav

>>312876

You can also apply the same reasons for the War in Ukraine (especially the gas pipeline). Media/Leaders use ethnicity/human rights to justify civil war and division, but if you just follow the money, you can easily spot the true interests of major powers.

>>312862

What about the Finns? Too Mongolian, yea? That's how we Aryans feel about them too.

>>312876

Ethnic diversity is always a ticking bomb though. It's just a matter of some shit happening that's bad enough to upset the balance and break the trust between the peoples, and all hell is lose.

>>312862

> Bulgarians are not really slavs

How come? Too much Turk blood in their veins?

>>313013

From what I've seen, not even Bulgarians see themselves as Slavs.

>>313016

Really? Those Bulgarians that I speak with are pretty white and never said such a thing.

>slavs

>Exalted

So… basically another disposesed and abused people in the hundred kingdoms, at one point somewhat recently ruled by a crazy sorcerer (Rasputin using demon minions) so nobody really had to work that much,

>so now we have gopniks

but someone killed the sorcerer, the demons ran off, and now everything is fucked

>oh and your stuff looks nice and shiny, mind if we come over and steal/migrate/fuck shit up?

also heels to ground cyka

>>313017

What do they say of other slavs?

>>313013

He's talking out of his ass, Bulgarians are Slavs.

Slovenians, on the other hand, think themselves more German than Slav.

>>312845

Drowses look more like a failed parody of the Protestants to me.

Officially pretend-bitter, but practically just aggressive.

>>312862

"Ukraine" is on-topic itself.

It departed USSR as a Frankenstein style chimera of old Malorossia + Cossack enclaves embedded into it (which used to be VERY different from the rest) + chunk of Poland (remember the Moscow pact of 1939?) + old enclaves (Russians and Jews - Crimea/ports/industrial cities) lumped with the rest by Khruschev.

All those are inclined to pull in different directions most of the time, which adds more inherent problems. It's not anywhere as bad as on Balkans, but this mess obviously helps to keep things fucked up, which so far included tsundere begging, Soros revolution and the last war.

The Miracle of the Stone Mountain, or How Slavs Handle Devils

In this tale I will tell you about a poor man who had three sons: Petro, Dmytro, and foolish Fedko. The lads grew up, but all the land that the poor man owned could be jumped over by a rabbit. Poverty so strongly settled into this home that even a club could not drive it out. Nor would sitting and weeping or standing and screaming help.

At last the poor man went to a rich man and said:

"Loan me a pair of oxen and a plough. My sons and I will pay you back in labor whenever you may need us."

"Very well, you will hoe for three days in my fields."

"So be it."

The poor man drove the oxen up to his gate and called to his oldest son:

"Over there, beyond the village, is the broad Stone Mountain. Drive up there, plough it, and seed it with wheat."

Petro drove the oxen up to the mountain. He lifted the plough off the wagon and began to work. No sooner did he finish ploughing the first furrow, when a dark, hairy hand rose out from the depths of the hill and struck the oxen so hard that the animals, together with the plough, flew head first into a deep ravine.

A sad Petro returned home and told his father what had happened.

The poor man was furious, and shouted: "Get out of my house! I don't want to see you again as long as I live!"

So Petro threw a jacket over his shoulders and went out into the world.

The poor man then went to another wealthy man. There again he borrowed oxen and a plough. Arriving home, he called to his second son, saying: "You are a bright lad. Go to the Stone Mountain, plough it, and seed it with wheat."

The second son got into the wagon and drove to the rock . The furrow his brother Petro had ploughed the day before had vanished as if it had never been. Dmytro rolled up his sleeves. He ploughed around the mountain once and began on his second furrow. No sooner did he reach the ravine when a dark, hairy hand rose out of the mountain and struck the oxen such a heavy blow that both they and the plough went over the cliff, leaving but a hum behind them.

Dmytro was frightened. How could he tell his father? The old man would kill him! He threw a bag over his shoulder and ran off to catch up with his brother Petro.

The poor man awaited Dmytro, happy that at last the Stone Mountain would be tilled and planted. But the day passed and his son did not return. The mother began to weep, and the father tried to console her. "Don't cry, wife, Dmytro wants to finish the job and that is why he's so late."

The next day, foolish Fedko, the third son of the poor man, suddenly stuck his head out over the oven bed and said: "Father, Dmytro didn't plough the Stone Mountain. The oxen were killed, the plough broken, and Dmytro ran off to catch up with Petro."

"And who told you that, you fool?"

"Nobody. I know everything."

The poor man went to the mountain to see for himself. Looking over the cliffside he saw the two pairs of oxen and the broken ploughs lying at the bottom of the ravine. He returned home, sat on the bench, and grieved for his two sons. All night long he grieved and worried also about how he would be able to pay the rich men back without his sons.

"Don't worry, father," said Fedko from the oven bed, finally. "Tomorrow I will go and plough. Just get me a pair of oxen. I'll sow the wheat, find my brothers, and bring back all the animals."

>>314658

The poor man again went out and borrowed a couple of oxen and a plough. Fedko got into the wagon, and, singing, drove off to the Stone Mountain. When he looked down over the cliff, his shirt turned clammy on his back. There, at the bottom, lay the four killed oxen and the two broken ploughs. When he had overcome his fear, the lad went to work. He ploughed one furrow and began on his second. Suddenly, out of the mountain, a dark, hairy hand again reached out and prepared to smite the two oxen as it had before.

But Fedko was quick. He dropped the reins and seized the hand. He held it as in a vice, and so strongly that no power on earth could have released it. Then he began to pull. He pulled and pulled until he was out of breath. After much bitter effort he pulled out the devilish creature. Grasping it by the hair, he threw it to the ground and held it down with his knee.

"You scoundrel! How dare you, without so much as by you leave, make mischief for people? Now that I've got you, I'll not let you out of my hands alive!"

"Don't take my life, Fedko!" begged the Devil, for it was he.

"My hands have long itched to get ahold of you…" Fedko drew a pocket-knife from out of his shirt, cut off the tip of the Devil's left ear, and pushed it under his belt.

"Now, you Devil, you'll harness yourself to the plough and plough the entire Stone Mountain so that it will grow a crop of golden wheat."

"But I don't like to plough, young fellow. I'll do something else…"

Fedko did not listen. He took the yoke off the oxen and hung it around the Devil's neck. Then he cracked his whip at him so hard that the evil spirit jumped.

"Away, you son of the Devil!"

The Devil pulled and pulled at the plough so that his eyes were almost popping, while Fedko marched behind holding the plough-handles and humming a little tune. How long they ploughed, I cannot say, but the cultivated earth on the Stone Mountain became soft as goose feathers. The sweat poured off the Devil in rivulets.

"Now, Fedko, run and get the wheat, and I'll rest in the meantime," he said to the lad. "But quickly, please."

Fedko rushed home, out of breath, and standing at the gate shouted: "Father, quickly give me some wheat to sow, because the Devil has no time!"

The poor man carried out a bag of wheat. He wouldn't give any more because he was afraid Fedko would waste it. The Devil seeded the ploughed earth, harrowed it down with his tail, then bowed pathetically before Fedko and begged: "Please give me back the tip of my left ear!"

"Maybe you'd like a pain in the side too, eh? I want to see my brothers Petro and Dmytro here immediately, or I'll light a candle to your memory!"

"Don't light any candles, Fedko! All will be as you wish."

At that moment an unexpected, terrible gale blew up. The wind ran riot, like that fool at a christening. The Devil sat on the mountain's peak and flew off to who knows where. But he soon returned with Petro and Dmytro.

"Here are your brothers," he told Fedko. "Now give me back the tip of my left ear!" the oven bed.

Конец

"Not so fast, you clumsy idiot. Why did you destroy the ploughs? I want them here with the oxen, alive and new!"

The Devil whirled about and sank down into the ravine. In a moment he was back with two new ploughs and living oxen.

"Now, please give me the tip of my left ear!" groaned the Devil. Fedko pulled the bit of skin out from under his belt and threw it to him:

"I don't want to see either hide or hair of you here again!" he threatened. "Stick to the ravines and swamps where you belong, or you'll answer to me again!"

The Devil picked up the tip of his ear and took to his heels.

The brothers got into the wagons and drove home. The poor man was overjoyed at the sight of his sons. Petro and Dmytro sat at the table telling their parents about their adventures, while Fedko climbed up on the oven bed and played with the cat.

The next day, the poor man went up to the Stone Mountain to see for himself if all was well done. He stood as if rooted, not believing his own eyes, at the sight of the broad field of wheat before him, fully grown and ripe for harvesting. The stalks were silver and the heads shone gold.

He rushed home and shouted: "Come on, sons, get your sickles and off to the Stone Mountain! Out harvest is already here!"

Petro and Dmytro set out to work with a will, but Fedko remained behind, sitting on

>>314660

*Petro and Dmytro set out to work with a will, but Fedko remained behind, sitting on the oven bed.

Woops, there we go.

>>312862

>>313013

Bulgarians are part bulgarian, part slav, part thracian(not the thracian/illyrians of albania, but the thracians from the thrace region which made awesome golden treasures and had dealings with the ancient greeks, these were overall a very early civilization). These groups mixed around 1400 years ago.

It just so happens that most pro-russian bulgarians call themselves specifically slavs(to show love for the russians), while others recognize that we are something more.

Then there are those who remember how Serbs are backstabbing pieces of shit(who would rather attack us than Albania, because big daddy austro-hungary told them so and who like to genocide cilivian bulgarians in macedonia to assimilate the locals) and russia just wants to use us, those profer to call themselves bulgars.

Either way the origin is a mixture. And hated or not by serbs(who isn't hated by serbs), we bulgarians are the origin of the cyrilic alpabet which most slavs use to this day.

>>314814

Is there anyone in the Balkans who doesn't hate the Serbs?

>>314819

nope. Even Serbs hate Serbs. We could compare to Scottish.

>>314844

>Scottish

Hoo boy, dubsman. Do they also have clans and a chip on their shoulder over their lost kingdom/empire?

Is there a fantasy setting besides 40k and it's fantasy counterpart that handles magic like radiation? Because I could see the Effect working well in such places.

>>312798

>>Russia figures that it'd be great if they had a pan-Slavic ally state down there, fund some idiots to go out and shoot at a duke

Proofs please.

I'd like to see a fantasy version of the Russian Civil War take place, then having the players help the White forces take back their homeland.

Would it be possible to make tracksuits with medieval technology? Failing that, some sort of analogue/equivalent?

Also, reading Andrew Wheatcroft's The Enemy at the Gate, an account of the 1683 Siege and Battle of Vienna. Seems to detail more reasons why the Balkans are fucked. I'll get into details once I finish it.

>>316094

I thought that was Bulgaria.

>>317607

Fitted black tunics with three white stripes down the sleeves, black hose with the same detail. You can tell who the poorer slavs are because they only have one or two stripes. It's practically a badge to display your social position. Shoes should be padded inside for maximum comfiness while squatting. Failing to put your heels on the ground when joining a Slav squat circle is considered a social faux paus of the highest order, and can result in the offender getting belittled and/or their ass kicked by the group.

>>317654

That's something predominantly done by Russian gopniks. Think Slav chavs. The whole squat thing is something they pick up in prison (or by imitating people fresh out of prison) where people would squat together in groups because there wasn't any other way to actually sit down and relax, while also being able to quickly get up in case shit goes down and someone attacks your merry band of squatters.

>>317666

life of boris explained it saying that it was due to the lack of public seating around the cheap soviet housing projects, so when people were getting social, they would squat instead of sit down - because the ground is fucking cold

sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrmkYJfv0Ww

>>317699

This reminds me of that antique German "Russia: Rich in Bees" illustration.

>>317619

The concept of pan-Slavism was definitely born in Russia. I never heard of Russian government funding the likes of Black Hand though.

>>318265

>Russian government funding the likes of Black Hand though.

If anything the Russian Imperial gov' was the most hand on when it came to crashing anarchists. The two last Tsars witness the horrible death of Alexander II by (((their))) hand.

That's probably something the (((brits))) would do though.

Palinka Effect-ing my homebrew setting can have vastly differing results, depending on where they show up and when in the timeline, ranging from summarily having their shit pushed in and leaving no more mark of their arrival than some more squatting by the local slave population to fucking up everything for everyone forever.

>>318452

>from nothing to fucking up everything

Anon, you know which path you must choose. Post results, please.

>>318428

>That's probably something the (((brits))) would do though.

Possibly.

If the "sphere of co-prosperity" came to be for realz, India and Pacific British colonies would not remain British for very long. And this won't be a great surprise for anyone who paid attention.

As usual, reading Kipling is fun.

https://www.worldcrunch.com/world-affairs/kosovo39s-path-from-secular-nation-to-europe39s-jihadist-stronghold

Welp. Now we can add another reason to the pile that Kosovo is an unnatural abomination.

>>323023

Same as the non-serb part of Bosnia really.

But then again everyone knows the brave Bosnian were backed up by a proud afghan war veterans organization led by someone called Osama bin Laden…

Elminster sends Yugoslavia back to the hellhole it came from and goes back to his ale, muttering about the shit he has to deal with.

>>323041

I have a few homeboys who are polish, a moldavian and a ukrainian, in my street, man drinking with them always ends in muh panrussian expansion, tatar conquest a lie and everyone punching the one polska guy who is pro communism the rest want to be left alone and simply cntinue in their lands unbothered, mind you this is mexico where I live, somehow they all carried slav magic here and Ihave had a lot of meala with them, man they are best thing to party with specially if you dont mind getting left knocked the fuck out via a punch or via drinking.

>>323074

>Elminster: Let me send Yugoslavia back to the hellhole magicless dimension it came from

<Bog te jebo! A random serb appears

>Magic missil….

<Peechka!

<What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my temple in the service of mystra, and I’ve been involved in numerous thieving gangs, and I have over 300 confirmed spells.

I am trained in sex change magic and I’m the top magister in the entire canon universe. You are nothing to me but just another rogue. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen since the spellplague, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, you squating fucker. As we speak I am selecting silenced magic from a spell list bigger then the realms themselves and your lineage is traced right now so you better prepare to call me daddy son, because i'm going to go back in time and fuck your mother, maggot. That spell will wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my currently prepared spell list.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to an entire arsenal of daughters and I will use their full extent to wipe your miserable ass and all yugos off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and …

<Jebi se, peder. Naša artiljerija bo končala to!

Now is he really dead and not just fucked off because he wants to get his dick wet, I don't know. Artillery doesn't leave a lot of evidence sometimes, but implying that the realms of all places are somehow immune to the palinkia effect as apposed to being the perfect breeding grounds for it, is nonsense.

>>317723

That guy is a faggot that couldn't even figure out where Cheeky Breky comes from. He's a memer as memers come.

#HailGrasa

So. From reading around, the Balkans' woes began with the Roman Empire splitting in half, got worse with the Great Schism, then got outright horrible with the Ottoman invasion. Also, Balkan Christians and Muslims mutually loathe each other thanks to centuries of intermittent warfare, raids, and massacres. Tit for tat.

>>317723

Lol, if everyone waited even for trivial crap like "public seating" being done for them, USSR would continue to depopulate from post-WWII level.

Have no bench? Take a wooden plank, saw off the ugly ends, nail it to them, here's your bench.

>>310609

How is the interaction between the greeks and the slavs?

Did the greeks become more slav-like after the ottoman empire had their way with them?

>>312836

>Their religion is death, their history is fighting.

>>323041

>What you need to know about the Balkans is that they are filled with two things. Hatred and a willingness to fight

Is that why slavs like 40k so much?

>>310609

>Hungarian

those are clearly finns

**also I swear I heardf them say dakka, mulitple times

>>317723

Handy guide on how to do research on Russia the American way.

Step 1: Make things up.

Step 2: There is no need for further steps.

Like how out of three original factoids on Russia in Civilization V two were factually incorrect and one was complete bullshit.

>>332072

The Russians at least seem to think the Imperium is mankind finally straightening their shit out. Compared to the chaos of the past couple centuries, ten thousand years of fairly stable empire sounds like a godsend.

>>332099

You would think it wouldn't be that hard, dubsman, seeing as they've long been a European power.

>>312798

Question: are there any books about those few bits that take an honest (hell, clinical would be best) take on the conflict and aftermath? In English, preferably.

>>312798

Question: are there any books about those few bits that take an honest (hell, clinical would be best) take on the conflict and aftermath? In English, preferably.

As always Albanian and Slav

Were at blood since a tragic fate

Placed fire and gunpowder side by side.

Placed side by side Albania and Montenegro!

Did I not tell you, oh Prince Nikola

That before the fall of night

I would avenge Tringa

Cutting off three hundred heads,

Taking three hundred slaves,

Making three thousand girls and young brides

Widows before their time.

–Gjaku i marrun (Blood avenged)

AKA, how an Albanian blood feud works.

>>310609

Bosnians aren't Slav either. You must be Christian to Slav otherwise you are turk.

>>316085

… but STALKER isn't about radiation. It's about the psionic fabric of a subjective universe having been torn apart.

>>332061

This.

Try playing parajews strategy as serbia. Everyone around you permanently at war with everyone. You may win wars simply because your enemies killed each other. And if you are at war with someone from far away they might join you as allies just so they can kill and die again.

>>342250

Or just start shit up and let the great powers fight for you.

>>342269

I would kill 300 albanimals for less, don't know what kind of retard would waste resources on 300 albo broodmares and hatchlings though.

>>342290

>don't know what kind of retard would waste resources on 300 albo broodmares and hatchlings though.

Thats how you replace populations m8, its what turks did.

>>342290

> what kind of retard

>>342434

> its what turks did.

So, literal mongoloids?

>>323041

>What you need to know about the Balkans is that they are filled with two things. Hatred and a willingness to fight.

Three things. You forgot liquor.

>>318310

Wait, those posters don't make sense. If everything but Kosovo is Russia and Kosovo is Serbia, then it means that Serbia is Russia and therefore Kosovo is Russia too but it contradicts the original stipulation!

>"The question of the origins of the modern Macedonians, who feel themselves categoricaly to be a Slav people distinct from Serbs or Bulgars, provokes more intellectual fanaticism than any other in the southern Balkans. One scholar, let us say from Skopje, will assume that this nation has existed for over a thousand years; the next, perhaps a well-meaning westerner, will claim the Macedonians first developed a separate identity from Bulgaria about one hundred years ago; a third, for the sake of argument a Serb, will swear that the Macedonians only emerged as a nation at the end of the Second World War; and a fourth, perhaps a Greek or Bulgarian, will maintain doggedly that they do not exist and have never done so.

>Scholars and politicians from Bulgaria, Greece, Serbia, and the Republic of Macedonia itself, not to mention their respective apologists from outside the region, regularly work on assumptions about Macedonia and 'the Macedonians' which are irreconcilable. This suggests that nationalism and national identity in the region are built on fragile foundations. Fragile, because such supposedly well-established identities as the Greek, Serb and Bulgarian can feel so threatened by a national community which even now numbers less than two million; and because throughout the region, and especially in contested regions like Macedonia, national identity or identities do not remain stable. They change over a few generations; they mutate during the course of a war; they are reinvented following the break-up of a large empire or state; and they emerge anew during the construction of new states. Balkan nationalism evokes such ferocious passion because, paradoxically, it is so labile."

- The Balkans: 1804-1999 by Misha Glenny (written 1999)

>>312798

As someone that never really knew what went on over in that part of the world this was an interesting read.

>>346369

>Fragile, because such supposedly well-established identities as the Greek, Serb and Bulgarian can feel so threatened by a national community which even now numbers less than two million

You do realize that Greeks from the region self-identified as "Macedonians" since pre-Alexandrine years, right?

>>346414

Well yes. Why do the "southern" Greeks get so mad about it, then?

>>346421

Ethnic soliditarity?

Why did Bavarians join Hitler in reclaiming Prussia?

>>345335

Then that would be two, since liquor will give you willingness to fight.

>>346414

Im pretty sure modern day macedonia isnt hellenic nor byzantine macedonia.

>>346454

>Im pretty sure modern day macedonia isnt hellenic nor byzantine macedonia

Nearly the full extent of the Hellenistic era concept of Macedonia is geographically in Greece, mate.

Also do you think modern Greeks just sprouted there? They are direct descendants of Byzantines.

>>346489

I dont doubt the greeks are descendants of the byzantines, i doubt the macedonians are.

>>348504

How can they believe they have any link to the hellenic era macedonians when they are slavs?

>>348545

Because they say that Alexander the Great and the Macedonian "kingdom" was a proto-slav kingdom and not an Hellenistic one.

Which is why the Greeks are so adamant in telling them to fuck off (and pretty much everyone agrees with them) to the point were almost nobody recognize the name of "Macedonia" for their country but uses "Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia" FYROM which is a provisional name (provisional for the last 25 years).

That and the fact that they actually want to annex real Macedonia (in Greece) to reunite their (fictional) ancient realm… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Macedonia

"Vardar" is the actual historical name of the place BTW.

>>348555

> they actually want to annex real Macedonia (in Greece) to reunite their (fictional) ancient realm

Btw ancient kingdom of Macedon was wholly into modern Greek sovereignty and its origins, the valley just north of Mt. Olympus is south enough to historically not have any well established Slavic population. Slavomacedonians use the name of the later Roman province as an excuse for their claims while in antiquity the Vardar valley/plateau where F.Y.R.O.M. lies was known as "Paionia" and its inhabitants, in contrast to Macedonians, never claimed common ancestry or ethnicity to the rest of the Greeks.

>>348504

>Bulgarians

> not Slavonic

This seems like American education, but if so - why the butthurt about Balkans?

>>348559

People get confused because the original Bulgars were a turkic non-White tribe that established the Bulgarian Orthodox Autocephaly upon which hipster South ("yugo" in Slavonic") Slavs founded their nationality just to be contrarian to Byzantines.

Fyromacedonians are the direct result of nearly a millennium of conflicted national identity issues and open miscegenation between self-proclaimed "Bulgarian" Slavs, Serbians, Byzantine-loyalist Slavs, Macedonian Greeks and to a lesser extent even pre-turkification albanimals. The Vardar valley was predictably one of the biggest clusterfucks given it's location at the center of the Balkans.

>>348593

Btw linguistically speaking Greek Macedonians' claim on national continuity is based on Alexander committing lingual genocide upon his own people and adopting Attic Greek, which later evolved in the very similar Koine (greek for "common") which is the root for the dialects spoken by 99% or so of modern Greeks (including Anatolian, Pontic and Cypriot Greeks), Greek as universal language for his Empire.

Ancient Macedonian was at furthest sister language to the pan-Greek branch or, according to texts found, a not-so-diverse branch of Doric/Northwestern Greek, the dialect group spoken by ancient Spartans and Corinthians, while Attic/Koine were brances of the Ionian dialects-group spoken mostly by Athenians and Southwestern Anatolian coast Greeks (the other major supergroups were Achaean , spoken by Myceneans (and pre-doric Spartans) and Northern Peloponessians after the previous' extinction during the Dorics-induced Greek Dark Ages, Arcado-Cypriot and Aeolian.

If Macedonian were a subgroup of Doric or the wider Northwestern Greek branch (that included Dorics+Hepirots+other unaffiliated northwestern dialects) then linguistically the closest people to ancient Macedonians are a small cluster of villages in central Peloponnese or the Sarakatsani, a semi-nomadic Greek mountain people with a culture revolving around animal husbandry, similar to Aromanian Vlachs', that are spread throughout the Balkans' mountainranges (most of them in Bulgaria).

>>348559

>>348593

>Bulgarians

> not Slavonic

Where did I wrote that?

Bulgars were a nomadic (same as slavs) turkic (but not related to roaches, related to the huns) people that conquered then settled near Byzantium, then their fucking KHAN Borgoris (St Boris-Mikael), converted to orthodoxy, got slavonized (which is the language and alphabet the orthodox clergy largely invented to convert the area), and started role playing as southslavs (then again the Germans role-played as "Romans" until 1806).

Arguably modern Bulgarians are a mix of Bulgar, south-Slavs and Greeks. But there has been a continuity of the Bulgar as main population since settlement.

Saying that the bulgarians descended from south slavs is like saying that the french are descended from Gauls (or Romans) instead of Franks. It's not wrong but it's clearly not the truth either…

They're considered "honorary slavs" because they adopted slavonic and orthodoxy early on.

>>348609

> Where did I wrote that?

>>348504

> … flooded with propaganda that:

> 1: They are a slav people (like the rest of Yugoslavia and therefore part of the pan-slavic brotherhood).

> …

> Both of this statements are false and very easily demonstrably so, by basically any historian.

>>348678

The problem with your theory though is that Bulgarians are genetically nearly indistinguishable from the rest of South Slavs.

https://www.eupedia.com/europe/european_y-dna_haplogroups.shtml

>>312847

>>312845

That one?

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueen

ding.com/archive/36022362/#p36022864

>>332061

I forwarded that to a physical therapy instructor. Seems like you were spot on. Yay for a global network of misfits.

>>323074

This may depend on how much elves, shades, evil-overlords-wannabe or other local clowns annoyed him by this time.

Also, FR already got a lot of "fun" places, like Border Kingdoms where it's all up for grabs, so they just endlessly conquer and overthrow each other, and the outsiders usually come there with intent to join the game. So it's kind of superfluous.

>>323099

Ah, naïvete. ;> That's so not how anyone gets to live way over half a thousand years.

>>332059

>How is the interaction between the greeks and the slavs?

In the old times (Greek greatness era), none, even the Middle-Asian nomads were semi-mythical for them. In slightly less old times, some Slav tribes and the proto-Rus group (Slavs + German/Scandinavian war chief who settled there) joined the Byzantine camp and converted to Orthodox Christianity. There was the way "from Greeks to Varangs" (North Europe, Vikings et al), where people traveled, traded some, fought whoever they didn't get along with (this time), hired out as mercenaries when couldn't find anything better to do, etc.

>>345400

Ach, but see, Russia and Serbia are basically the same thing already.

>>365550

Only one has a bunch of military and political clout and the other doesn't.

What's a good campaign "seed" to go start on in a balkans game?

>>366024

Hired mercs looking for "war criminal" hiding out in mountain villages.

"Paranormal investigators" trying to make their first episode as good a hook as possible, [insert locale cryptid] turns out to be real, asses saved by local squat-smiths.

Ye olde travelling witch hunters who get in far too deep. Pan's Labrynth'esque descent into fae horror.

Tourists who had been abroad and unknowing for a year trying to take a shortcut to Germany on the eve of [insert battle involving Kosovo]

CIA operatives looking for ways to bring about "peace" and "democracy". Three cells, each only know one member of one other cell. Whatever side the players choose, the other two teams choose the opposite or nuetral.

Shadowrun. Add in MORE races and see what happens. Maybe Kosovo turns out to have an Elven Kingdom, built on previously Orc burial mounds, on top of dwarf temples. Currently occupied by muslim humans.

US army fucks up again, this time at a blacksite under a mountain there. The Mist 2.0 starts, and it gets a whole lot STALKER all of the sudden.

>>342353

So, what fantasy races/creatures are the rest of the Balkans, including the Turks, Greeks, and Hungarians?

>>366037

I don't know.

Greeks could have been like sea-faring elves long ago, Turks are some sort of insect people, Turks conquered the elves through raw force and numbers and largely crossbred, said crossbreed were smarter than the basic insect people and split the previous Turkish empire into faction after infighting, making real elves very rare. Modern Greece has both real elves and crossbreeds, Turkey has crossbreeds and pure insects people.

Hungarians would be humans not-rohan type, horse people but that aren't nomads anymore and have a fairly classic feudal style society, maybe with a minority that still is nomadic?

They would largely be seen as invaders/usurpers within slavs kingdoms and not be in a good relationship.

>>367503

STALKER

Metro 203X

Warhammer Fantasy Kislev and those hunters in the wooded provinces

Witcher

Any setting that touches upon Vlad the Impaler/Romanian stuff is close enough methinks

>>367506

Arent the border princes THE balkans of warhammer fantasy?

With sylvania being romania too.

>>368879

Slavs are still technically white.

>>368820

Nah dude, you're not thinking bloody, poor or ridiculous enough. I think I talked about shit that was going on back then in Yugoslavia a while ago in some thread on /k/, but fuck it, /tg/ is the best board so I don't mind repeating myself.

For example, a favorite used to fuck over NATO guided missiles were toasters. You'd get a good old toaster - or any kind of heater, really - and put it inside a greenhouse. The shittier the greenhouse, the better: some examples were straight up plastic bags suspended over wires, with a heater put inside them. The only thing that matters is that the thing looks like a tank or a vehicle, at least dimension-wise. So when the nightly bombing runs happen, the NATO bombers would target anything with a high heat signature that looks like a tank and drop their payload unto it. This was because, according to NATO intel, the Yugoslavian (or at least Serbian) tech was so old-school that it was prone to overheating, meaning that if something's lighting up on your heat vision, that's gotta be their military. So the bombers would fire at the heated greenhouse tank, which would then mark them up on the Serbian radars which were so old school that they only registered a heat signature if it was happening straight above them - and that was their only chance of counterattacking. To do that, they manually fired missiles into the NATO planes from cover, hoping shit would hit. Some time they did, some time they didn't.

A personal favorite of mine involved a story about an AA battery, which was hidden under a bunch of blankets to keep the thing heated up and running (because if it got too cold, it would shut down), while also disguising it from the NATO planes. So when a bomb drops, it misses the AA battery because it was heading for the heated greenhouse, and then you'd see a bunch of Slavs with blankets show up from nowhere with a WW2 era flak cannon. Shit was equally funny as it was horrifying.

As for guerilla tactics, the Albanians were the undisputed masters of that. That and good old terror tactics, like taking out an entire village overnight, killing everyone not-Muslim in it, throwing their bodies on a pile in the center square but not before gouging their eyes out and sending them to the Serbian army in barrels. Yes, barrels filled with eyes were a common thing back then. Or, they'd hijack regular civilian buses, and have the drivers take them into far away territory - we're talking about a bunch of Albanian soldiers driving all the way to Bosnia on stolen vehicles. When they got there, they'd set up some good sniping positions, and instead of chasing after military troops, they'd hunt down civilian refugees. This would then cause a giant stir, the civilians would scatter, and end up running into either the Serbian or Croatian or Bosnian army (and usually dead in the process), but that would also reveal the army the civilians ran into to the opposing groups, which would then start another bloodbath, after which the Albanians would go after the stragglers before retreating back to Kosovo when they're found out.

As for fun stuff, one story I've heard involved a bunch of civilians being extracted from Kosovo, and a whole lot of them were women. So the Serbian army intercepts the civilian convoy, and decides to investigate. Turns out, a bunch of those women were dudes, hiding under burkas and shit - whose disguise was almost too good, except the fact that they had to show off their new Nike shoes. So a bunch of suicide bombers in drag got found out because of their sneakers. Another one involved a bunch of wrecked tanks, which as it turns out happened because the drivers got too drunk from drinking the alcohol from the tank batteries because they drank everything else. Most of that unit died from poisoning instead of bullets.

Shit was ridiculous.

>>368879

Slavs keep to themselves, for the most part. Those that immigrate don't cluster in ghettos with no expectation of decent behavior and certainly don't demand gibsmedats.

>>368984

Not sure for all slavs, but none that I know would ask for gibs. Personally, I find the idea of begging for gibs to be shameful. Also yeah, we tend to keep to ourselves. At least most of us understand that communism a shit and we wouldn't want to have that again.

t. Slav

>>368947

>>368984

>>368985

>t. slavs

Uncle Adolf himself said slavs are subhuman.

>>368986

Citation needed in the original German, Moshe.

>>368820

>dwarves collapsing buildings

How have you used cave ins and/or caves/confined spaces in your games, teej?

>>368962

Microwave ovens without the door tend to pop up on a radar hotter than the AA systems the serbs operated, also a tub of water inside a plywood tank looks like a real tank. Both of which made NATO look like a bunch of asses to the Serbs.

>>368986

Them foreign legions say otherwise.

>>368962

>which as it turns out happened because the drivers got too drunk from drinking the alcohol from the tank batteries

I doubt there's alcohol in batteries. But filling radiators with liquids useful in more ways than water with the regulation antifreeze is an old trick. Red Army did this.

>>369460

That seems like an important piece of info to mention if you want a mechanic properly evaluated and discussed.

>>369505

>if you don't consider other races subhuman then you must consider everyone is the same race!!!!

Are you a jew? Because that's an awfully jew-y mentality you've got there.

>>369577

>using mudslimes to do his bidding and kill white people

Was Hitler a jew? Because that's an awfully jew-y mentality he had there.

>>313021

Autochtonians are the real Slavs. There's even a canon version of the Palinka Effect in the form of the Locust Invasion.

>>369804

I think you quoted the wrong post.

>>369804

Depends on what either the Elves or Bugmen have to offer.

>>369460

Most of the old Yugoslavian army learned everything it could from the Russians. It had a bunch of ex-USSR military men who came there and taught the local generals how to wage war, especially against some terrorist groups (remember: these guys fought in Afghanistan back in the day, before the US even thought about invading the place).

So the Serbs using Russian tactics shouldn't really surprise you. You can even look at the whole ordeal as this: the Russians never actually helped once during the Kosovo bombings, instead seeing how a small country using their tactics will deal against both domestic terrorists (the KLA) and a foreign power bombing them (NATO).

Reminds you of something? The Kosovo bombings was a dry test run for the Russians to see how they'd fare against the NATO and Chechens when WW3 rolls around.

>>369594

he also didn't want to gas the kikes™ but ship them to madagascar

Hitler also wasn't as smart as Stalin to wait until Soviets invade Poland first to appear as a glorious liberator and savior from communism for the cheap price of all industrial capacity of Poland and access to the sea!

>>386945

How well did it turn out in Chechnya? What's worth fighting over there anyway?

And hang on. How much worse would the Balkans get if, in this Palinka Scenario, all of its folklore monstrosities came to life?

>>390510

It would quickly come to a hault as strongman spirits set up petty kingdoms. Thereafter it would be much like feudal times, where war was constant but a civil affair.

naw I'm joking, slavic myth is a bloodier affair than Greek. It'd be like the deep forests of Warhammer Fantasy, without ruinous chaos.

>>386945

Russians never helped during Kosovo bombings because Russia was in the middle of financial crisis and Yeltsin was an American puppet, you retard.

I just had an idea, is there a reverse palinka effect?

If we teleport part of fatnasy middle ages realm border of yugoslavia does that make our historical yugoslavia an in depth and interesting fantasy setting now? Would it go something like, A wild Elminsister appears, Slavs discover squat magic. Entire world is terrified of Slavs with actual magic powered by squats, an early World war lasting a hundred years starts as everyone tries to discover or destroy the source of the slav's wonderous squat magic.

>>390588

Sounds like a slightly more Slavic Saga of Tatyana the Evil.

>>369628

Wasn't it the Locust Crusade?

So, did the Slav tradition of tracksuits come from the Olympics?

>>399554

No. Back in the commie era western goods were luxuries. Tracksuits are one such good that made its way from the western side of the iron courtain to the eastern one. They often have company logos or instantly recognizable stripes in case of Adidas. That makes tracksuits perfect to show off your higher status due to ability to get something that is hard to acquire. Combine that with how versatile and comfortable tracksuits are, they eventually went from status symbol, to an element of subculture, to something that is ubiquitous within the society.

>>390588

Balkans naturally turn anything else into more Balkans, unless quarantined. That's the point of Palinka effect.

>>409382

egypt had a nice track record for being stable

but yeah, tensions make for good stories

>>365539

>In the old times (Greek greatness era), none, even the Middle-Asian nomads were semi-mythical for them.

Not really. In the ancient times Scythians and Sarmatians (Indo-European nomads who lived in the general area of today's Ukraine and Russia, who later settled down, mixed with proto-Slavic like Neurjoi and Germanic tribes like Basternai) were conducting raids on the Hellenic sphere of influence, mainly Makedonia and Thracia. Scythians and Sarmatians were employing heavy cavalry and horse archer troops, and there's substantial evidence that the Hellenes came into contact with it and adopted it - it can be seen in Alexander's doctrine of hammer and anvil where the hammer was heavy cavalry (generally unknown to Hellenic warfare before) and hippotoxotai (horse archers in Greek) that were considered very effective and employed as often as possible. It's said that hippotoxotai were used as early as Pelopponesian war.

>>332072

>Is that why slavs like 40k so much?

The people I know that are into 40k unironically consider 40k an utopian setting. I disagree it will only be utopian after the Tau are genocided

t. slav

>>368984

>Slavs keep to themselves, for the most part.

>Those that immigrate don't cluster in ghettos

Which is it, nigger? A ghetto is an ethnic enclave.

>>409446

Ghetto's bring to mind places that are so trash practically everything is in decay and covered in gang signs.

>>409403

But the fucking Dark Eldar are alright? Nigger, if you're gonna turn the grim darkness of the future into a human only "utopia", you have to genocide all the other races, not just the tau. Orks, tyranids, necrons, eldar and the forces of Chaos. All of them. Good luck with that, by the way.

>>409492

you don't udnerstand, anon, war is part of the appeal. Tau are the only pacifist faggots in the setting (and pozzed commies to boot) so they have to go.

>>409539

Tau aren't pacifists. At least not in later versions. I'll agree on the commie part, but that's just unfortunate writing. Hedonistic spacejews aren't much better off.

>>409737

Yeah, I said pacifism but I actually meant the prospect of peaceful coexistence rather than aversion to war.

>"come join us in DIVERSITY, goyim :^^^^)"

is what I mind about the Tau. Sorry for being unclear.

>>310559

Did a once-off Matrix style game once. Matrix does bullet time.

Russia: Hold my beer....

*gets into a T-34*

>>411213

Details?

>>413327

notStalingard with the PCs as a misfit band of Ruskies trying to hold the line

>>413748

Okay, I got kvass, mead and rye now i need some drinking music. Rusky my fusky up.

>>323041

>LOL you don't know yugoslavs very well. They always end up dragging the rest of the world into their shit because they are always up to something and they are always managing to create catastrophic diplomatic incidences.

Yeah, fuck off.

>random fanatic

A young man assassinated a heir-to-the-throne of an empire that occupied his nation.* If he was a westerner, he'd be a hero and you'd be making fucking movies about him.

*A nation that was jealous of colonialism of other european "civilized" nations, and was just itching to find a cause to declare war on and conquer serbia.

>the slavs predictably declare war on each other for the umpteenth time

What fucking wars? What wars have balkan nations waged against each other other than WWI, WWII and Yugoslav war?

And how about saying WHY are balkan nations so set against each other, or rather, WHO set them against each other?

You're just spouting meme shit like you have any idea.