[–]▶ df2032 (3) No.336 >>434 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]
The man to Pity and Hate, a portrait of a wretched soul.
http://pastebin.com/m3mZ0cis ____________________________
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▶ df2032 (3) No.433
Good content, many nice turns-of-phrase, but you need an editor--many sentences lack punctuation or have incorrect punctuation in them. You need to read it over before publishing it and squash the typos. Also, The Man is a bit one dimensional.
But overall, I like it.
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▶ df2032 (3) No.434
>>336 (OP)
The first sentence is already awful. Don't begin a story with "this is a story about…" That's a really good way to bore a reader from the very beginning.
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