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/newbrit/ - /brit//politics/

An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: 818a28bef02abbc⋯.png (167.3 KB,496x280,62:35,ClipboardImage.png)

24cdf2 No.431015 [View All]

UK weather forecast: Britain set for storm hell before 29C heatwave - Met Office warning

https://www.express.co.uk/news/weather/1141641/UK-weather-forecast-latest-met-office-forecast-uk-storm-thunder-heatwave

THE MET Office has issued severe weather warnings with Britain set to be battered by thunder, lightning and hailstorms - days before flooding will be mopped up by a scorching heatwave.

>Britons could suffer more travel chaos as thunderstorms pave the way for a 29C heatwave set for this weekend, which will bathe all of the UK in balmy weather, officially kicking off a delayed great British summertime. Until then, forecasters have urged UK residents to take extra care when travelling as a huge chunk of England is about to be hit by floods brought on by torrential rain. A severe weather warning has been issued from the south west of England up to as far as Hull.

>The Met Office warned: “There is a small chance that homes and businesses could be flooded quickly, with damage to some buildings from floodwater, lightning strikes, hail or strong winds.

>“Where flooding or lightning strikes occur, there is a chance of delays and some cancellations to train and bus service.”

‘ISIS Beatles’ terrorist demands family be allowed to live in UK - ‘I am British!’

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1141664/isis-islamic-state-uk-terrorist-isis-beatles-syria-Alexanda-Kotey-IS

BRITAIN’S most senior living Islamic State terrorist has a secret family in Syria – but wants them to live in the UK.

>But despite having had his British citizenship revoked for his crimes, the jailed terrorist claims he is still “as British as anyone else”. Speaking from inside a swelteringly hot complex at a secret base in North Syria, Kotey yesterday told how his wife has tried to contact his mother for help. The 35-year-old jihadi said he did not know where his family was now as “I have not been allowed access to communicate with them”.

>But he told how he sent his wife and children – who he does not wish to name – back to her family in Aleppo when he tried to flee the crumbling caliphate in 2017.

>Kotey was seized by Western-backed SDF troops north of Raqqa and later imprisoned, but believes that one day he will be freed.

UK winner of £123m EuroMillions draw still yet to come forward

https://news.sky.com/story/uk-winner-of-123m-euromillions-draw-still-yet-to-come-forward-11744180

If no one claims the prize in around a week's time, then the location of where the ticket was bought will be revealed.

>The UK winner of last Tuesday's £123m EuroMillion jackpot has still not come forward to claim their prize.

>The single ticket scooped £123,458,008 - the third biggest amount in the draw's history.

>It matched all five main numbers - 25, 27, 39, 42 and 46 - and two Lucky Stars - 11 and 12 - on 11 June.

632 posts and 185 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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Post last edited at

96175c No.431657

>>431646

>Ignoring the importance of delayed gratification in men, that makes us higher creatures I think.

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73ece4 No.431658

>>431654

are you getting enough physical exercise?

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e2b20d No.431659

File: 40e64eaa295701e⋯.webm (7.62 MB,320x240,4:3,Portugal.webm)

>>431656

aesthetic flag

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e2b20d No.431660

glad to be back tbh, hope madlad (and boomerlad) comes back too

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330a86 No.431661

File: 8f650078632a8b5⋯.png (357.59 KB,536x613,536:613,ClipboardImage.png)

*swipes right*

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52beb5 No.431662

Does Lars von trier actually have any good movies?

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32f922 No.431663

>>431662

Melancholia is supposed to be good

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52beb5 No.431664

>>431663

That's the only one I've seen

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330a86 No.431665

>>431663

maybe I'd like it now, hated it back when I watched it. Really hate that actress

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d4d7bd No.431666

>>431662

Riget is great.

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2703e7 No.431667

File: aae9c6d52e156b6⋯.gif (1.87 MB,500x370,50:37,aae9c6d52e156b68b35b179361….gif)

>>431655

I have had sexual anhedonia since before I can remember.

>>431658

wdymbt?

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96175c No.431668

G'noight.

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d4d7bd No.431669

The Idiots is also a laugh. Maybe for the wrong reasons though.

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330a86 No.431670

>>431668

nigh cutie

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e2ed73 No.431671

>>431667

I'm sorry to hear that lod.

>>431668

Night lod

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52beb5 No.431672

>>431665

I remember being really young and got a boner from her being attacked by Barbie's in small soldiers. Bit if a noncey scene watching it back though

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330a86 No.431673

>>431672

>small soldiers

keeeek

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e2ed73 No.431674

>>431672

Remember that film vaguely, absolutely loved it as a kid but don't remember the scene you're talking about tbh or the actress

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e2b20d No.431675

File: 367b33f225f73d2⋯.jpeg (26.41 KB,512x564,128:141,b012522c3abee2687dd5f56d2….jpeg)

>>431672

remember I got a boner when I was really young playing crash bandicoot, crash sliced up by some curved sword trap in arabia and ended up in boxers with hearts on 'em as a death animation. I got aroused thinking about being exposed in embarrassing underwears

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e2ed73 No.431676

>>431675

keeeek

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e2ed73 No.431677

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

wew I can see what you mean

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330a86 No.431678

nini

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e2b20d No.431679

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>431676

it was something like this

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a67ff8 No.431680

File: 51f830c212cc442⋯.png (14.07 KB,776x680,97:85,karaboga pink nips.png)

>i am portuguese, muh nigga

>i'm white

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e2ed73 No.431681

File: e4299487743bd69⋯.png (811.97 KB,1280x812,320:203,ClipboardImage.png)

tbh lads

>>431678

nighty night lod

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e2b20d No.431682

>>431680

I'm actually 100% european, unlike you, who is mongrelized with finno-ugric asiatic mongoloids

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a67ff8 No.431683

File: 8e527e6b5e9722b⋯.png (17.9 KB,547x626,547:626,8e5.png)

>>431682

>me

>entirely northern european

>non-white mongoloid

>you

>ibearian mutt mixed bri'ish

>is white because apparently has pink nipples

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175e7d No.431684

File: 828f57e1a2f398a⋯.jpg (39.65 KB,668x712,167:178,828f57e1a2f398af527415dc3a….jpg)

>>431679

>just spent a quarter of an hour watching someone play crash bandicoot to see what gives some spic on the internet a boner

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e2ed73 No.431685

>>431684

The least he could've done was timestamp it, smh

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e2b20d No.431686

File: 8ec4a986994f6ca⋯.png (13.06 KB,250x202,125:101,cringe.png)

>>431683

>having brown nipples

>>431684

keeeeeeek

I couldn't find the specific thing that killed me in that video, might not have even been that specific crash game. gave up on trying to find it, but it was that kind of thing, desert-themed crash level with some curved sword trap hazard thing

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e2ed73 No.431687

File: 3ca5f8407070c59⋯.png (1.02 MB,757x555,757:555,ClipboardImage.png)

>>431686

>mfw curved swords

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a67ff8 No.431688

File: 3172a7804282780⋯.mp4 (8.93 MB,720x720,1:1,kara boga.mp4)

>>431686

>being intimidated by my powerful black nipples

FOO FWAA!

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a67ff8 No.431689

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

finnish log torch

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e2b20d No.431690

>>431689

pretty cool

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e2ed73 No.431691

File: a1e3afa1561b88a⋯.png (1.2 MB,1080x1211,1080:1211,ClipboardImage.png)

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e2b20d No.431692

File: 2e906d03f9abac3⋯.jpeg (60.71 KB,960x732,80:61,7eba308ea76ee3ef79823cabf….jpeg)

thinking of what to do, maybe watch Date A Live, I watched the first episode last night and it seems like something I might like to watch

>>431691

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e2ed73 No.431693

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>431692

watch this guy's videos, they're kino

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e2ed73 No.431694

File: 800b092e683624b⋯.webm (830.6 KB,854x480,427:240,dorset_goes_to_the_loo.webm)

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7c2237 No.431696

h

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96175c No.431697

G'morning.

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cb1a6c No.431698

File: 1a6904879ba43c2⋯.png (1.47 MB,1920x1080,16:9,ClipboardImage.png)

Godwinson looks like THAT!?

Holy shit he's a fucking dork. No wonder he's a bully the jealous maymay is true keeeeeeeeeek

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cf1f59 No.431699

>>431698

reminds me of the potion seller video

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73ece4 No.431700

>>431698

he puts on this posh accent and associated mannerisms but then you see the inside of his home

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72a687 No.431701

Wew i just drove past the retard group i used to attend

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32f922 No.431702

File: 06f1cca4f570cc4⋯.jpg (1.07 MB,4500x4334,2250:2167,1442516270360.jpg)

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32f922 No.431703

File: 88a8f02f1737d96⋯.png (702.69 KB,640x848,40:53,ClipboardImage.png)

the brap tables have turned…

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72a687 No.431704

>braps start smelling like cat and dog braps

So this is the power of keto

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72a687 No.431705

>>431702

Is this good?

>>431703

Goodlad

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32f922 No.431707

>>431705

only time will tell but I think Nige is very naive to think the Tories wouldn't just backstab him like they did Clegg

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b63c1c No.431709

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