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/newbrit/ - /brit//politics/

An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: d071846ec1a520e⋯.jpg (67.67 KB,900x979,900:979,1560448978222.jpg)

f92fc7 No.428054 [View All]

Brexit: UK government in "pretty good shape" for no deal says top civil servant

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48631741

UK weather: Five hundred train passengers stranded on board for eight hours after tracks flood

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/06/14/uk-weather-five-hundred-train-passengers-stranded-board-eight/

Change UK applies to change name after legal dispute

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-48629838

SUNSHINE AFTER THE RAIN UK weather forecast – Sun to return with 25C heat next week…but only after weekend washout

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9293600/uk-weather-forecast-sun-weekend-washout-met-office/

Chuka Umunna joins the Lib Dems after quitting Change UK

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-48631116

UK's special forces set for new Russia mission

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48624982

672 posts and 296 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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Post last edited at

f92fc7 No.428745

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

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550a2d No.428746

File: c04a660ff98b203⋯.png (27.4 KB,488x463,488:463,tardjak8.png)

>Bored and listless, restless. Unwilling to think and consider other suggestions.

>Durr let's watch some multiple hour long slow drama plot fest i'm sure I will like it and not get increasingly disillusioned and antsy as the film progresses at a snail's pace

>end up being unsatisfied and more bored than before

Absolute smoothbrains larping as highbrow tbh, true kinoseurs know that different films go for different situations. I'm playing Pixels now tbqh.

https://www.rabb.it/WessexDruidTBH

https://www.rabb.it/WessexDruidTBH

https://www.rabb.it/WessexDruidTBH

https://www.rabb.it/WessexDruidTBH

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cac20b No.428747

>>428746

I'll just watch Dark myself

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8b24f7 No.428748

>>428744

when i was watching this i know i remember seeing the models at the game stand, but i don't recall you posting the video.

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f92fc7 No.428749

>>428747

let me watch with you lad

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cac20b No.428750

>>428749

Nah lad I'm watching Dark by myself

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f92fc7 No.428751

>>428750

please

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cac20b No.428752

going to put it on at 12:00, need some food first tbh

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550a2d No.428753

File: 9613441b179ce61⋯.png (27.56 KB,325x729,325:729,ClipboardImage.png)

This is what true autism looks like.

Imagine being so assblasted that other people DARE to unabashedly enjoy watching schlock occasionally you try and fail to spam a transient chatroom that doesn't matter in the slightest.

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8b24f7 No.428754

>>428753

i cannot believe you would slander me in this way, you've edited the html to make me look like a total spastic, not reflective of me at all, smh tbh fam.

SAD

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cac20b No.428755

File: 0e7cef43ec3892f⋯.png (1.7 MB,1915x1080,383:216,0e7cef43ec3892fb550b0b9c91….png)

>>428751

alright then you handsome adorable lad you

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cac20b No.428756

>tfw Wessex just wants to be left alone in his public room

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550a2d No.428757

File: d7dbf244b367d0f⋯.png (577.66 KB,1225x535,245:107,ClipboardImage.png)

Is that… Paul Blart?

Hot damn this is more kino than I remembered.

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732ac8 No.428758

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

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8b24f7 No.428759

File: bd032f3a35abf2b⋯.jpg (10.4 KB,474x315,158:105,JUSTENJOUINGSOMEfocce.jpg)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

JUST ENHORTYING SOME COFEEW!!!!!!!

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550a2d No.428760

File: 197441759da73a4⋯.png (298.71 KB,471x388,471:388,keekfade.png)

Did I give him apoplexy?

Enjoying shit films might be even better than ironic gayposting…

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8b24f7 No.428761

>>428760

you didn't give me shit

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407f83 No.428762

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ←- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!! love and waffles,

~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

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8b24f7 No.428763

has nothing to do with your movie, i'm just having a nice cup of coffee in the morning while listening to a youtube video and posting with my buds.

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550a2d No.428764

File: 2fdc8413ef1e869⋯.png (497.17 KB,787x525,787:525,ClipboardImage.png)

>>428762

Excellent post tbh

>>428763

Meanwhile you are fully aware I am unironically enjoying an Adam Sandler film where he gets to fight video games and implausibly has an attractive woman fall for him

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970c0e No.428765

Can't logon to faggit because the email won't come through.

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970c0e No.428766

My flag did a runner, oops.

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8b24f7 No.428767

>>428764

i really don't care about your movie, i'm doing my own thing rn.

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407f83 No.428768

Ted and David make their living as syncronized swimming instructors. Ted and Dave like animals. You could even say they love animals. In their spare time, Ted and Dave express their immense love for animals in their own "special" way. In this first episode our two characters (mad with desire) have broken into a local hospital where they find their first victim.

Ted and David made their way into the lab where the animal experiments were conducted. A cute, fuzzy rabbit had caught their eye…

The evil duo quickly subdued the little lab rabbit. They strapped the now helpless animal's head to the sex table with hot leather. David had they urge, and removed his pants, which were now buldging. After slipping off his briefs, David tightly fastened the leather straps and was ready to begin…….

David began to "grease up". Shoving endless amounts of vaseline and baby oil all around the rabbit's ass, he slid his purple head firmly into the rabbit's tight asshole. Even though the rabbit was slightly unconscious, screams of pain were constanly being emmited. Ted reached for the chain whip and smacked the rabbit's soft nose until its face was soaked with blood. Now, with the rabbits head drooped over the edge of the table, David continued his sex hunt. His now tingling cock was pushed deeper and deeper through the thick layers of skin which covered the bowel tract. Five, six, seven, then finally all eight and 3/4 inches were plunged deep within the animal's love canal.

David's manhood tingled with every slight movement of the now half alive rabbit. He began rhythmically sliding in and out, moaning with pleasure on every thrust. David worked himself into a hot orgasm. The blood, now coming steadily out of the rabbit's ass with every thrust of David's pelvis, could be heard dripping on the floor. David's rate increased and with a final push, he spurted creamy white love gel far up into the rabbit's bleeding ass.

The blood and cum mixed together on the floor, which had now accumulated a large puddle. Unknown to David, the semen had acted as a powerful enemma for the rabbit and out ushered the contents of its intestine. The stool was loose and soft. It fell to the ground with a soft thud and broke into small pieces. The obnoxious smell caught David's attention, and no sooner had he fallen to the ground and began licking the large puddle of blood, sperm, and stool. Exited at David's enthusiasm, Ted dropped to his knees and also began to slurp the foul mixture.

After cleaning the floor with their tongues, David and Ted checked on the battered lab rabbit. It was barely able to hold its head up, as it had lost control of most of its motor fuctions. Feeling no pity for this sexually mistreated animal, they unstrapped it and tossed it across the room, only to make a loud and deep thud against the wall. Its blood soaked fur left spatters of red stains everywhere it touched. Ted reached for his chain whip, while David grabbed a pair of rusty hedge clippers (one of the many torture devices carried around for "convenience"). They made their way over to the rabbit. The rabbit was struggling for every last bit of air it could, just gasping and wheezing.

"Awwwww. Poor little thing," Ted maniacally laughed. He raised his arm and thrust the cold metal whip down, exposing the rabbit's bloody flesh. He kept whacking and whacking at the furry bag of blood. Then, when Ted stopped to catch his breath, David stepped over with his rusty hedge clippers. He knelt over the rabbit who was knocking loudly on death's door. David took a quick glance at the clippers, grinned, and then thrust them deep into the body of the rabbit, obviously hitting many arteries. As the blood squirted into David's face he moved the clippers around in hopes to find a thick bone to crunch. "Aha! The femur!" he yelled out with excitement. David wedged the clippers against the bone. He opened them wide……then closed down on them with all his might. The bone could be heard deep inside the rabbit, being mutilated. Death had glazed the bunny's eyes.

The rabbit lay dead, a bloody mess on the floor. Its bodily fluids freely surged across the tiled floor. Then with a look of extreme satisfaction, both David and Ted lit up some smokes, gathered their belongings and quietly left the hospital grounds, knowing with confidence that they would strike again, somewhere, soon.

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550a2d No.428769

File: a05795aafcb2092⋯.png (441.73 KB,763x545,7:5,ClipboardImage.png)

I didn't like that post lad…

>>428767

Yeah but you're doing it while in full knowledge that I am watching and enjoying Sandlerian Kino.

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970c0e No.428770

File: a395033844de6c4⋯.jpg (38.65 KB,628x624,157:156,Skel.jpg)

>>428768

I kekked. What the fuck is wrong with me?

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8b24f7 No.428771

>>428769

you're living in a delusion, if you think correlating events are causational. just haveing a nice morning with nothingh but stress deducing coffee

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407f83 No.428772

>>428770

ancient pastas are the best, they age like a fine wine

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550a2d No.428773

File: 24aebbb19eabbe1⋯.png (106.94 KB,1280x1280,1:1,smug2.png)

>>428771

Yes lad, enjoy your… Coffee.

*cough*adamsandler*cough*

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cac20b No.428775

oh man I went outside for a bit and the time went by, starting room now

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cac20b No.428776

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8b24f7 No.428777

File: 10bd26fa3fe0132⋯.jpg (4.06 KB,225x225,1:1,images.jpg)

>>428773

>>428773

>>>428773

>>>428773

its fine mate ddoint worry abnout it

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970c0e No.428778

>>428776

Still can't faggit. Should I use protonmail for this?

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cac20b No.428779

>>428778

dno, I used a throwaway mail

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550a2d No.428780

File: 1e3ceee4b39d0ec⋯.png (1.08 MB,1769x713,1769:713,ClipboardImage.png)

Poo status: In Loo

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970c0e No.428781

>>428778

Just used my Gmail.

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550a2d No.428782

File: f39620419cfa539⋯.png (812.66 KB,1213x637,1213:637,ClipboardImage.png)

BIG BLACK CORPORALS

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f92fc7 No.428783

having fun with my best buddy 22

dont think id be having this much fun with wessex

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550a2d No.428784

File: 8271452774deeb0⋯.png (301.82 KB,583x623,583:623,ClipboardImage.png)

SUPER KINO

>adam sandler

>paul blart

>SEAN BEAN

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407f83 No.428785

ah, time for the day's toil… later lads

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550a2d No.428786

>>428785

have a good one

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970c0e No.428787

>>428785

Have a comfy cagie, Mr Wagie.

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8b24f7 No.428788

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550a2d No.428789

File: 325341abf96cc0b⋯.png (651.47 KB,915x619,915:619,ClipboardImage.png)

AND THE MIDGET FROM GAME OF SOYS

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8b24f7 No.428790

File: 537acf9c36be337⋯.jpg (5.48 KB,287x315,41:45,GIWTWM.jpg)

>>428789

GOD I WISHJ= I WERE THER,M i hope youre enjo ying yourserlf

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550a2d No.428791

File: 06a4a0d92cf8b74⋯.png (420.2 KB,657x621,73:69,ClipboardImage.png)

Not only kino, but redpilled too!

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550a2d No.428792

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

READY PLAYER ONE

Playing tonight at 8pm

Unironically a decent film

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f92fc7 No.428793

new thread needed

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f92fc7 No.428795

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8b24f7 No.428823

File: 6e19d2be97b6011⋯.jpg (250.13 KB,1280x1525,256:305,Jewess 879.jpg)

INDEX

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