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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: b1ca2ec0478fd50⋯.png (751.88 KB,570x855,2:3,ClipboardImage.png)

1ba337 No.417011 [View All]

David Cameron to RETURN to Westminster? Friends CONVINCED ex-PM gearing up for comeback

https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1132169/Brexit-news-David-Cameron-Westminster-UK-politics-George-Osborne-leave-EU-conservative

DAVID CAMERON is vying for a political comeback by standing once more for Parliament, his friends claim.

>Brexiteers could reportedly view the move as a threat as they fear the old Etonian may team up with his former right-hand-man George Osborne to alter the political landscape. Remainer Mr Cameron, whose allies say is the only Tory leader to win a Commons majority in 27 years, is responsible for instigating the process that ultimately led to the UK voting to exit the European Union. His return to front-line politics would therefore be seen as controversial given the current Parliamentary impasse over the contentious constitutional issue.

Everest: British man among latest mountain deaths

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-48407433

A British man died on Saturday minutes after summiting Mount Everest, bringing to 10 the total death toll this season on the world's highest peak.

>Robin Haynes Fisher, 44, reportedly fell ill while descending from the summit. An Irish man, Kevin Hynes, also died on Everest on Friday.

>Nepal is facing scrutiny for issuing a record 381 permits, at $11,000 (£8,600) each, for this year's Spring season.

>There have been reports of overcrowding and queuing climbers near the summit.

UK: ‘Asian Male’ Holds Knife to Baby’s Throat in ‘Terrifying’ Daylight Robbery

https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2019/05/26/uk-asian-male-holds-knife-babys-throat-daylight-robbery/

Police are seeking an “Asian male” with a “foreign accent” who held a knife to the throat of a 19-month baby during a “terrifying” daylight street robbery in Normanby, England.

>“The incident happened between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. on Friday (May 24) as the victim, a woman in her 40s, was taking her 19-month-old grandson for a walk,” recounted Cleveland Police in an official witness appeal.

>“She was pushing the pushchair along the footpath in the wooded area off Ormesby Road, Normanby, when a man came out of the bushes in front of her and demanded her purse.

>“When the victim refused the man produced a knife and placed it to her grandchild’s throat. The victim then handed over her purse and the man ran off towards Normanby High Street.”

667 posts and 288 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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1ba337 No.417682

>>417680

Well it's always a bit confusing because vikings conquered our ancestors but then lots of people have vikang blood here I guess, who are we meant to identify with smh Norsemen or the Anglo-Saxons. And then the area was Brythonic originally with the old Kingdom of Elmet so idk. In school I was told that we wuz vikings and learned loads about the vikings lol.

I just try to be objective about things, I guess I'd identify most with the Anglo's as they were here the longest.

>>417681

"Nice cock there, lass."

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e020a2 No.417683

>>417681

Ask if she wants a cock of course

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fc425f No.417684

>>417681

Seems like a sweet lass, do you know what she looks like?

>>417682

Tbh, the Saxons and Danes are very similar to each other, more cousins than anything, apparently they could even understand each others languages just fine

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1ba337 No.417685

>>417684

>Tbh, the Saxons and Danes are very similar to each other, more cousins than anything, apparently they could even understand each others languages just fine

That's true, the Normans, Saxons, Danes, Brythons were all fairly similar people's racially really.

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1ba337 No.417686

File: b263fcf1de6755b⋯.png (56.29 KB,263x274,263:274,W 388.png)

*thinks about that indigenous british people who were replaced by bell beaker people from the rhine*

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20d243 No.417687

>>417686

maybe it will happen again

better bomb the krauts one more time just to be sure

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654646 No.417688

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1ba337 No.417689

>>417688

I wonder if she was a feeder and wanted to keep him fat, seems like lots of the big lads have enablers like that.

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1dd3d6 No.417690

>>417684

>Seems like a sweet lass, do you know what she looks like?

yeah she's chubby but I guess she could be alright if she lost some weight, not sure tbh. guess I'll have to have another look at her photos smh

>>417688

>He reportedly needs to surgery to replace his knees, repair eight stomach hernias and adjust his bypass.

yikes

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b03a04 No.417691

>>417688

>20,000 calories a day

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10841c No.417692

File: 6db02f14671f5a3⋯.gif (181.87 KB,384x408,16:17,1557842466476.gif)

>>417686

*thinks about swarthy native ancestors who were blanda'd up by saxons and vikings*

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10841c No.417693

File: 4afdf29fdbe61dd⋯.png (37.09 KB,520x316,130:79,ClipboardImage.png)

Remain Delusion Sets In, Soubry Declares Victory for CUK Party

https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2019/05/27/remain-delusion-sets-in-soubry-declares-victory-cuk-party/

>moving the goalposts so far out of the pitch that brexit landslide = brexit cancelled

They're just hardening the hatred of leave voters now tbh.

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10841c No.417694

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Apparently the collapse of the establishment center across europe is a bad thing.

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1ba337 No.417695

>>417694

his hapa blood is fighting his anglo blood and the hapa is winning smh

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d48694 No.417696

File: ba69007c2b739af⋯.jpg (60.56 KB,391x340,23:20,Umaru 31.jpg)

>Torrent Rage 2

>It doesn't work

This is why you shouldn't pay for video games.

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b03a04 No.417697

>>417695

>when you're anti-identity politics but you get completely BTFO when a Jew tells him he's playing mixed identity politics

he talks about being a hafu so often in his videos smh, it defines him

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e020a2 No.417698

>>417696

Why would you want to play such a pozzed game anyway?

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403702 No.417699

File: 6c15ad445469bc0⋯.png (1.01 MB,1428x773,1428:773,ClipboardImage.png)

SEE IF MEH DRINK'S READEH PLEASE

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654646 No.417700

>>417696

>>417698

looks like its designed to appeal to anti-fa

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d48694 No.417701

>>417700

>>417698

Dunno anything about that. Just bored and wanna shoot stuff.

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654646 No.417702

>>417701

preordered Borderlands 3 last week

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d48694 No.417703

File: 32b23baa8f3a28e⋯.jpg (260.63 KB,750x738,125:123,Umaru 12.jpg)

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e020a2 No.417704

>>417701

get Sauerbraten for free tbh

it's extremely comfy http://sauerbraten.org/

>>417702

bit cringe lad

might get it for PC in 5 years when it's fully DLCed up and if the specs are the same as bl2

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d48694 No.417705

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

I love him no homo

>>417704

What's the singleplayer? Just deathmatch with bots?

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e020a2 No.417706

>>417705

There's I think three campaigns, a bit like serious sam, a mod/standalone that turns it into a fantasy RPG, and bot matches yeah. The player base is decent, mostly for instagib ctf though

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d48694 No.417707

File: 60ea9ba76f53f55⋯.jpg (36.2 KB,1024x571,1024:571,Umaru 10.jpg)

>>417706

>Start game

>Fall through level instantly before I press anything

>Die

>Uninstall.jpg

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2d7dab No.417708

File: b1a379a4b401146⋯.png (30.23 KB,300x204,25:17,ed miliband.png)

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e020a2 No.417709

>>417707

Never had any problems like that tbh

Bit of a snap judgement

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2d7dab No.417710

>>417693

Andrew Neil's a bit of a cunt sometimes but sometimes I can't help but like him

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1ba337 No.417711

File: 215654802cf130f⋯.png (379.45 KB,513x562,513:562,ClipboardImage.png)

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d48694 No.417712

File: e412d0e670d723f⋯.png (213.43 KB,620x347,620:347,Umaru 16.png)

>>417709

just cba with anythin today

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e020a2 No.417713

File: e8222ad2427742c⋯.png (195.17 KB,700x400,7:4,neetpepe3.png)

>>417712

bit cringe and neetpilled tbh

I put some washing out but that's about it

>nearly 5 already

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d48694 No.417714

File: 4d9f0e304630eb7⋯.jpg (245.1 KB,1037x781,1037:781,Star Wars 2.jpg)

>>417713

well i did a short walk

finished watching lain

read 26 pages of a book

did my strength workout

but it was all a struggle because i slept like shit last night

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d48694 No.417715

File: 81212788857bf2a⋯.png (1.05 MB,1200x1200,1:1,ClipboardImage.png)

These are so sweet and tasty

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e020a2 No.417716

File: c01b65adc9b4312⋯.png (32.23 KB,766x758,383:379,fatjak6.png)

>he gave in

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d48694 No.417717

File: acd48b574838f29⋯.jpg (236.47 KB,580x563,580:563,13976528.jpg)

>>417716

i had one this morning

im still under my calorie limit tbh

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e020a2 No.417718

>>417717

Not really been bothering to count exactly tbh but it's amazing how much is in so little

will have to check later

The recommended is 2000 right?

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1270bf No.417719

File: ad2c97bc956a452⋯.png (61.23 KB,762x754,381:377,image.png)

>>417717

Lad, you're doing Keto all wrong if you're counting calories, not carbs smh

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b03a04 No.417720

>tfw I am winning the keto race

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e26285 No.417721

>>417528

Hi lad. Just caught up on Godwinson. I think he's a smarmy little twink with spaghetti arms with an extremely over inflated sense of himself and his own views. He's very clearly a little bitch whose entire shtick is being a little bitch. His affected accent is pointless when he pronounces words like "book" in the broad northern way. He is genuinely pathetic.

I have contempt for him and from what I've seen of your posts I have contempt for you. Are you that little Scottish bitch who got so triggered the other week because I called him out on his stupidity? I hope so. Cunt.

NAway lads, I'm out of this poo zone. See you around.

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1270bf No.417722

>>417720

What you eaten so far today lad?

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b03a04 No.417723

>>417722

eggs bacon salad and nuts tbh

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d48694 No.417724

File: 3ecf4f8c66ec4c5⋯.jpg (34.83 KB,1000x700,10:7,553159973.jpg)

>>417718

calories?

for fat loss eat a hundred (or more if you want) less than your bmr

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

this will change as you drop weight so weigh often.

3500 calories in a pound. hundred a day aint too much, but if you at least walk an hour a day or bike or somethin for a bit, you can add up to a lot. an hour walk is like 200 calories.

i began weighing myself every week but i think thats shit since weight fluctuates so much. few days ago i started weighing every morning which i put into a chart with a trend line in excel on google drive. weighing should be done first thing every morning after peeing/pooing, but before any drink or food.

although dont actually count exercise into it. like "i walked an hour today which means i can eat a couple hundred calories more" because its so unreliable and cant be measured precisely.

also intermittent fasting 16 hours minimum

>>417720

jokes on you i dont do keto

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1270bf No.417725

File: df1912229f02ace⋯.jpeg (41.61 KB,600x600,1:1,image.jpeg)

>>417721

BBK makes the right call on that contemptible little twat Godwinson

Well played BBK, well played

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c60b18 No.417726

>>417613

>Nigel's factionalism destroyed the party in the end

isn't this obvious? the reason why UKIP performed so poorly is because BXP was formed as a replacement, UKIP shouldn't have even ran candidates 'cause it split the vote a lil bit. if BXP weren't a thing, I would think UKIP would've been the top party. although maybe wouldn't have done as well because a few sensitive faggoty normalfags might have been more hesitant to vote UKIP than BXP 'cause of all the media spins

>>417628

>>417630

belly button piercings are among the few that are acceptable and hot IMO

>>417633

>>417637

nose piercings are awful though, reminds me of a bull from cartoons with the nose ring snorting smoke from the nostrils. also idk if nipple piercings might fuck with breastfeeding, like obviously they'd be removed but damaging the nipple tissue which is important for feeding babies is not a worthwhile gamble. there is something viscerally attractive about them but it's not worth the damage to an important part of the body

>>417675

remember when he was calling himself "Mr. Brexit"? wew. he muh heritage larps as scottish

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2d7dab No.417727

File: 80c94a3df43ceb9⋯.png (174.98 KB,1200x1676,300:419,jahans sun wheel.png)

>>417721

>NAway

>NA

Good lad

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2d7dab No.417728

>>417711

Based and civic. In the ideal world all good lads would be in polygynous relationships with white and brown lasses.

>>417726

>belly button piercings are among the few that are acceptable

Imagine that, spic is wrong about something. Never in all my days.

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fc425f No.417729

>>417728

I see your jungle-fever is still raging on lad

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1ba337 No.417731

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1ba337 No.417732

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