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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: 3d910a140320a21⋯.png (400.97 KB,640x480,4:3,ClipboardImage.png)

b00ec6 No.389613 [View All]

Speech Police: Top Cop Warns Pro-Brexit Politicians Not to ‘Inflame People’s Views’

One of Britain’s top cops has warned prominent pro-Brexit figures to watch their language, claiming that if they fail to do so they could “inflame” an already “incredibly febrile atmosphere”.

>In just the latest example of Britain’s police forces taking to their newly discovered role of the guardians of speech with enthusiasm, a senior officer said of public discussion of Brexit: “This is highly emotive … I think there is a responsibility on those individuals that have a platform, and have a voice, to communicate in a way that is temperate and is not in any way going to inflame people’s views or cause any actions out of there.”

>“I think we are in an incredibly febrile atmosphere. There is a lot of angry talk that you can pick up if you look across social media.”

>National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC) boss Martin Hewitt appeared to imply the nation is on the verge of violent disorder with his warning that public figures should “think carefully” before speaking at the same time as other headline-grabbing statements were issues by police, including an announcement that they have prepared a 10,000-man strong rapid reaction force to deal with riots.

Every Region in England & Wales Apart from London Backs No Deal over Remain

https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2019/04/04/every-region-england-wales-apart-london-back-leave-eu-no-deal/

Every region in England and Wales apart from London supports leaving the European Union without a deal over Remaining, according to a poll.

>YouGov surveyed 2,098 adults between March 31st and April 1st and found that when asked the question, “If Britain has not agreed a deal by April 12th, what do you think should happen?” a plurality backed leaving on no-deal, World Trade Organization (WTO) terms.

>Broken down by region, 44 per cent of the south of England (excluding London) said they prefer no deal versus 34 per cent who said they would want to remain in the EU; 46 per cent of the combined Midlands/Wales region back no deal (31 per cent Remain); and 41 per cent of the North preferred leaving in a clean break versus 34 per cent for Remain.

>Both countries voted to leave the EU in the June 2016 referendum, leading to the victory for Leave for the entire sovereign state of the UK, and the results counter Remainer claims that Britons had changed their minds about Brexit — voters rather embracing essentially what establishment politicians deem a “hard” exit over Remaining in the EU.

Fortnite: Is Prince Harry right to want game banned?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-47813894

Prince Harry has called for a ban on Fortnite, saying the survival game beloved by teenagers around the world, was "created to addict".

>His words add to a growing debate among health workers, governments and lobby groups about whether gaming can be harmful to health.

>The remarks come just before the Gaming Bafta Awards, one of the biggest nights in the UK's gaming calendar, which take place in London on Thursday evening.

>But is he right?

701 posts and 277 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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010f33 No.390320

File: 9260e148110a9bb⋯.png (708.99 KB,857x720,857:720,1551740381413.png)

God, I sleep, get up and immediately feel tired. These dark circles under my eyes will never go away

>>390309

There's really no need for that, lad. What has Welshlad ever done to you?

>>390315

Siege is on sale, I bought the deluxe edition or something. I played a couple of the tutorials/challenge thingies. Game seems like something I can play as my go-to shooter.

I might play some of it tonight for a few hours.

>>390319

You been working today?

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363e9c No.390321

>>390318

he must be a billionaire by now smh

>>390319

it's weekend lid

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363e9c No.390322

>>390320

>There's really no need for that, lad. What has Welshlad ever done to you?

he told me to fuck myself for no reason

did you buy that samurai game yet?

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4574cc No.390323

>>390320

>>390321

i went to work for the morning because i skipped thursday morning to go to see my therapist for the first time in almost a year, then i went and had lunch in town and gave a hot lass my number and then i practiced wheelies for like 2 hours in the park which made my hands raw and my biceps ache, then when i got home i read for a bit but was just so tired i took a nap, but naps dont work for me because they only make me feel more tired, i started trying to make some music again but then dindins called, ive had dindins now and here i am basically

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30e35e No.390324

File: 0b2528fda4b5c78⋯.png (242.35 KB,1024x888,128:111,smugsuit.png)

oi jannies there's a /shit/poster making random threads in the catalogue, you should probably remove them

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15d238 No.390325

>>390323

>my therapist

loser

>then i went and had lunch in town and gave a hot lass my number

nice. how did you do that, lad?

>and then i practiced wheelies for like 2 hours in the park

keeeek you and your bikes. cute.

>but naps dont work for me because they only make me feel more tired

tbh

had din dins just now too.. beef and chips. Ever sinze I had those weirdly half-frozen chips I can't get the idea of that taste out of my head and all chips taste shit now. Chips used to be my favourite food.. ahhhhhhhh

>>390324

oh no the Hertshog will bully us again

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15d238 No.390326

Done. Damn I'm a great mod

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4574cc No.390327

>>390325

thanks

>Ever sinze I had those weirdly half-frozen chips I can't get the idea of that taste out of my head and all chips taste shit now. Chips used to be my favourite food.. ahhhhhhhh

you know what you have to do right? you have to ingest chips anally to reverse the change. it's the only way tbh lad

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3b1ec9 No.390328

File: c7130a8fe1c77a1⋯.jpg (240.95 KB,890x854,445:427,1535502988759.jpg)

>>390327

but these chips they are zigzaggy

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010f33 No.390329

File: f866eaf6e394c6c⋯.jpg (26.56 KB,640x629,640:629,1549179557764.jpg)

get good quality sleep lads. I feel like there's an anvil in my brain and I feel like I'm full of lead or something

>>390322

>he told me to fuck myself for no reason

>he started it

>he started it

>he started it

Grow up and apologise smdh

>did you buy that samurai game yet?

No, I'm too fucking retarded. I'd end up writing an article about that game and how it needs an easy/casual mode.

>>390323

It sounds like you had a busy day, no wonder you're tired. Good luck with that lass

I thought you said you had dindus in your family for a moment there when reading that last part

>>390326

Good job, proud of you

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3a5912 No.390330

>>390320

>There's really no need for that, lad. What has Welshlad ever done to you?

Thank you lass, 22st is a vile fat prick, and a bully.

>I sleep, get up and immediately feel tired.

How much sugar you eating?

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d75fce No.390331

>>390320

>God, I sleep, get up and immediately feel tired. These dark circles under my eyes will never go away

same, I have serious raccoon eyes. hope I don't like like Soros/Mattis when I'm an old man

>Siege is on sale, I bought the deluxe edition or something

ooh it is, nice. yeah idk which edition would be best, there's a big price difference but they give you more operators so it's arguably worth it if you end up liking the game. but yeah deluxe seems alright, have plenty of operators to start with

>I played a couple of the tutorials/challenge thingies

the 'situations' are kinda hard but do have some value as tutorials for breach charges and stuff

>I might play some of it tonight for a few hours.

okay, can pm me your uplay name on bongoland

>>390323

>therapist

therapy is bogus

>and gave a hot lass my number

good lad!

>>390329

>I'd end up writing an article about that game and how it needs an easy/casual mode

I looked it up and it looks really frustrating

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3a5912 No.390332

File: b392908a3c8b7f8⋯.png (10.11 KB,418x408,209:204,86e753659ef5d0d80d7a4e9817….png)

>Grow up and apologise smdh

*Waits for my apology.*

Well 22st?

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3b1ec9 No.390333

>>390329

Bit weird lid spring is giving me a lot of energy. Do you cover your windows with black binbags?

>Grow up and apologise smdh

the ones who start it apologise smh

>No, I'm too fucking retarded. I'd end up writing an article about that game and how it needs an easy/casual mode.

jkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

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9e7218 No.390334

>>390329

What's the game?

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3a5912 No.390335

FUCK 22 ST

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8994e7 No.390336

File: 3355b4f3740bb23⋯.png (94.6 KB,268x343,268:343,1xyn0xb7yzu01.png)

>>390324

>(1)

ayo who the fuck dis nigga

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3b1ec9 No.390337

>>390334

Sekiro

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3a5912 No.390338

File: 80571459e6e21b2⋯.png (11.03 KB,418x408,209:204,1a58f2d72fbad808b434719f12….png)

Idk who even started it tbh.

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3b1ec9 No.390339

File: 3572d2e495c569c⋯.png (378 KB,509x793,509:793,3572d2e495c569c0a8a56a7f69….png)

>>390336

Wessie-boya

>>390338

probably you. I'm not an abrasive lad

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3a5912 No.390340

>>390339

Fuck you.

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3b1ec9 No.390341

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010f33 No.390342

File: 8d97d0a7558d570⋯.jpg (106.36 KB,1280x720,16:9,57248724.jpg)

>>390330

DON'T BULLY 22ST. YOU HAVE TO APOLOGISE TOO

The pair of you need to kiss and make up

>How much sugar you eating?

Very little, only sugar I get is from a glass of Orange juice I drink a day and a small fibre bar

Do you think it's the sugar that's causing this?

>>390331

Yeah I had some money in my Steam wallet already, I didn't wanna spend more than what the deluxe edition costs however. I'll DM you in a bit

>>390333

My curtains haven't been open since summer last year(when I moved in) neighbours probably think I'm dead or something

>the ones who start it apologise smh

Both of you need to grow up and apologise at the same time

>>390334

Sekiro, Japanese Dark Souls game

>>390327

Also Panzie, don't listen to those lads. Therapy has done wonders for me, keep going!

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3b1ec9 No.390343

File: 0140d410def77a6⋯.png (199.38 KB,808x485,808:485,1529201194881.png)

>>390342

Okay, let's both apologise on the count of 3, Welshlad

One…

Two….

THREE

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3a5912 No.390344

File: 75b32391273ba12⋯.png (14.07 KB,398x455,398:455,86e753659ef5d0d80d7a4e9817….png)

>>390342

>Do you think it's the sugar that's causing this?

Possible lass, sugar is pretty bad tbh, try no sugar for a while and see how you feel. Most peoples diets are pretty shit tbh, also everyones body is different and a certain food you eat might be fucking you up, could be the type of carbs you're getting. Hard to say lass but it's worth going through different foods and finding out what's best for you and what fucks you up. You could try keto or gluten free, might also help.

>DON'T BULLY 22ST. YOU HAVE TO APOLOGISE TOO

AHAHAHAHAH FUCK 22 ST AHAHAHAHAH

>The pair of you need to kiss and make up

22ST CAN KISS MY FUCKING ASS

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3a5912 No.390345

>>390343

FUCK 22 ST

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3b1ec9 No.390346

>>390344

> ASS

fuck off yank

I AM THE REAL WELSH LAD HERE. WE SAY ARSE

Ban him… yank BO

going to get some tasty sugary Saturday sweets tbh

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4574cc No.390347

>>390328

ribbed for your pleasure

>>390320

>>390331

>>390342

lads, try just getting to bed earlier. i know it doesnt sound like it should make sense but your body is actually very sensitive to the -time- at which you go to sleep. you can sleep 14 hours starting at 1am and always be tired, or you can sleep 8 hours starting at 8pm and feel great. i know 8 is a bit extreme for most people but im going to start going to bed at 8:30 because i have pretty bad raccoon eyes too, but on the rare occasions when ive gone to bed earlier they're almost completely gone in the morning, it makes me look like a different person. sugar and diet also matters of course but i think the solution to this problem is actually simpler than that

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4574cc No.390348

also i need therapy because i dont have a gf or anyone to just talk to about my problems, tbh

sick of telling daddy everything, he doesnt understand and he inevitably tells other people

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3b1ec9 No.390349

>>390348

You have us lid. fuck the therapist

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3b1ec9 No.390350

Jocko's therapist is enabling him to be a fucking tranny keeeeeeeek

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3a5912 No.390351

>>390346

I spell it how I say it lad and I say

ASS

>going to get some tasty sugary Saturday sweets tbh

Fat prick.

>>390348

>also i need therapy because i dont have a gf or anyone to just talk to about my problems, tbh

What about us?

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4574cc No.390352

no

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3a5912 No.390353

FUCK THERAPISTS

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d75fce No.390354

>>390347

>lads, try just getting to bed earlier

yeah, pembs said the exact same thing, that's probably it. sleeping until I wake up every day and still tired? clearly because I go to bed at 2-3am. problem is I'm a major night owl, it'd be a really hard habit to change. I should still do it but it's a struggle

>>390348

>also i need therapy because i dont have a gf or anyone to just talk to about my problems, tbh

well you have us. what problems? you often go on about how 'nothing ever works out for you' and all that

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3b1ec9 No.390355

>>390352

We're better than a fucking enabling coddling female therapist

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20dac4 No.390356

>>390350

>>390352

good luck finding a therapist that is equipped to deal with trans stuff

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773758 No.390357

Wouldn't need therapy if daddy had raised me tbh.

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4574cc No.390358

>>390354

try doing it in small increments i guess, but stick to it like your life depends on it. i read somewhere that your brain produces the most important chemicals from the hours of about 22:00 to 2AM, so you should aim to be in deep sleep by ten I reckon

>>390354

too much to talk about just by typing, and i dont want to carry on just giving out info about myself on the internet, ive done too much of that already. the only thing i can discuss with you lot that i cant with her is my racist worldview tbh, which is a problem

>>390355

i'm not a tranny though

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3b1ec9 No.390359

>>390358

no but they will make you one smh

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010f33 No.390360

File: fb81a87140d39eb⋯.jpg (91.75 KB,540x540,1:1,1551014536486.jpg)

>>390344

I'm a vegetarian, I wonder if that has something to do with it.

kiss and make up

>>390347

I've tried going to my bed at a reasonable time, but I end up lying in bed for like 6 hours

I'm going to be up all night and tomorrow because I need to push myself as I've got laser surgery on Monday and I can't miss it

>>390348

Stay in therapy. It's good.

>>390350

She's a professional, she knows what she's doing. Although, she's from the Middle East and I like to think she's "enabling" me as you put it as some form of revenge for the West's fuckery in that part of the world

>>390359

No they do not smdh

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d75fce No.390361

>>390360

>I've got laser surgery on Monday and I can't miss it

for what… hair removal? laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

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20dac4 No.390362

>>390360

are you on hormones yet?

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3b1ec9 No.390363

>>390360

>>390360

>No they do not smdh

https://youtu.be/FVEiScxUQyY?t=96

>She's a professional, she knows what she's doing. Although, she's from the Middle East and I like to think she's "enabling" me as you put it as some form of revenge for the West's fuckery in that part of the world

they also come from unis where they are taught this shit and the law also encourages it since discouraging it is evil.

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3a5912 No.390364

File: 1140e972e04c086⋯.png (34.72 KB,645x757,645:757,1140e972e04c086089358185a0….png)

>>390360

I'm a vegetarian

Lass… I've got some meat you'll like lass. :^)

>I wonder if that has something to do with it.

Probably… smh lass, go eat some meat.

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d75fce No.390365

>>390360

>She's a professional, she knows what she's doing. Although, she's from the Middle East and I like to think she's "enabling" me as you put it as some form of revenge for the West's fuckery in that part of the world

she probably gets off to it like that saudi princess that had her bodyguards beat up that french interior designer and then she made him kiss her feet

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3a5912 No.390366

>>390360

>kiss and make up

Naa lass.

FUCK 22 ST

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3a5912 No.390367

>>390364

>>390360

>I'm a vegetarian

*

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30e35e No.390368

File: 4352d4d08e382e0⋯.png (138.91 KB,443x455,443:455,boomerjakrepent.png)

honestly sickening even seeing people reply to what I've filtered

why bother engaging with the degenerated who are determined to ruin themselves?

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0de1bc No.390369

File: 921e80011cd632a⋯.jpg (435.63 KB,2494x2666,29:31,rosalina_guitar_art_mediam….jpg)

Played mario party with two girls today

I accidentally turned the game off 3 turns from the end and lost everyones progress and they told me I ruined it

Smh i panicked and pressed buttons

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