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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

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6b748a No.368233 [View All]

Storm Erik leaves two dead as 75mph gales and heavy rain sweep Britain

Two people have died and there is widespread damage and disruption as Storm Erik's ferocious gales of up to 75mph continue to batter the UK.

>the storm has swept across the country leaving planes struggling to land, trees being blown onto buses and thousands without power

>a man in Devon died after 70mph gale winds blew a huge tree onto his car as he was driving on Friday morning

>hours later, shortly before 10:00, another man driving a van on the B4306 between Pontyberem and Llannon, West Wales, was killed by a large tree that fell across the road

(Bonnie Christian, Evening Standard, 9th February 2019)

https://www.standard.co.uk/standard-home/weather/uk-weather-latest-storm-erik-leaves-two-dead-as-75mph-gales-and-heavy-rain-sweep-britain-a4062141.html

Storm Erik on its way out as temperatures to soar to 15°C next week

>the storm, which caused considerable damage to the south and west of the country, has produced the most blustery of its weather according to John Eagleton

>according to the Met Éireann meteorologist, the storm was winter's farewell as the spring rolls in next week: ""The stormy weather is gone but it will remain cold and bright this weekend with some heavy showers around the place maybe even some sleet."

>while Storm Erik is swiftly blowing itself away from Ireland, the country will still suffer the effects of its tail this weekend as squally showers and westerly wind will continue to blast the region

(Mícheál Ó Scannáil, The Independent Éire, 9th February 2019)

https://www.independent.ie/weather/spring-will-have-sprung-storm-erik-on-its-way-out-as-temperatures-to-soar-to-15c-next-week-37798491.html

Gale-force winds from Storm Erik cause disruption

>storms caused trees to fall on vehicles, with part of a doubledecker bus in Poole, Dorset, being crushed by a large trunk and a road in south Belfast being closed when several branches fell on a car on Friday

>the Met Office issued a number of warnings for floods and strong winds on Saturday, as Storm Erik brought gusts of almost 70mph that caused disruption on several roads and prompted emergency services to warn motorists to take care

>the strongest winds were likely to be felt on exposed coasts. Wind speeds of 69mph were recorded in Powys, Wales, and 68mph in Avonmouth, Bristol, while 50mph winds were expected inland, the Met Office meteorologist Simon Partridge said

(Mattha Busby, The Guardian, 9th February 2019)

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/feb/09/uk-weather-gale-force-winds-sweep-country-as-storm-erik-brings-disruption

Horror of Storm Erik

>the vicious storm rages on for a second day, with a yellow weather warning in place for most of England and Wales - with travel disruption on the roads and rail network

>fierce winds are expected to batter most of the British Isles today as the Met Office issues a yellow weather warning for strong wind covers much of Wales, central and northern England and southern Scotland until 15:00 on Saturday

>a separate yellow warning running until 15:00 on Saturday for northern Scotland predicts heavy rain could lead to flooding while in Dublin, the strong winds are set to continue, but to a lesser extent, with gusts of up to 37mph, and over in Belfast gusts will reach as much as 36mph

(James Wood and Danyal Hussain, The Daily Mail, 9th February 2019)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6685451/Risk-life-alerts-Storm-Eric-sweeps-UK-84mph-gales-heavy-rain.html

701 posts and 225 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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c67e14 No.368940

>>368938

Don't do that.

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214743 No.368941

>>368940

nah sorry got to do it

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c67e14 No.368942

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214743 No.368943

>>368942

just one of those things

I shall be reborn, don't worry

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c67e14 No.368944

>>368943

Reborn as what? A Smurf?

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214743 No.368945

File: 605a7341eeb7250⋯.jpg (227.53 KB,1000x1133,1000:1133,architect.jpg)

>>368944

Something better

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e75bc1 No.368946

>get message from qt saying how much she loves my photography

>strike up conversation

>chat for about a week and become friendly

>she says about us meeting up, asks for normiebook because messaging on that forum is awkward

>add her & send message to continue conversation

>3 days and she still hasn't replied to the message

why did I fall for the women meme again smh maybe it would be better to take the /shit/ blackpill

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214743 No.368947

>>368946

just give it a bit of time

more than a week just forget about it tbh

i dont get how people can do that though, they could at least have the courtesy to say no

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c67e14 No.368948

>>368945

A midge?

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214743 No.368949

>>368948

A taller, stronger, more intelligent being with no flaws.

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32da7c No.368950

File: 16b43727e29bfb8⋯.jpg (222.73 KB,940x610,94:61,Big Ass Bull.jpg)

ngl, vaping Zeus Juice Atlantis make you sex like a da BULL!

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c67e14 No.368951

>>368949

The prince.

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214743 No.368952

>>368951

He's nowhere near peak perfection, in my eyes, at least.

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94f5c2 No.368953

File: 98b39c70f132cf8⋯.png (287.33 KB,900x900,1:1,samfeels.png)

is valentines the tenth?

smh I should have gotten some chocolates and anthrax too smh

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214743 No.368954

>>368953

its the 14th…right?

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e75bc1 No.368955

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c67e14 No.368956

>>368952

HE IS.

>>368953

It's the 14th. Get yourself something nice.

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214743 No.368957

>>368956

In your eyes he may be peak male perfection. But he is not my ideal form.

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214743 No.368958

File: 3bf4f949b8dd6cb⋯.jpg (83.04 KB,1280x720,16:9,uhqd.jpg)

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c67e14 No.368959

>>368957

What is?

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214743 No.368960

>>368959

I don't know

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168c0d No.368961

Boku no hero has its film out, can we watch it?

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1a0221 No.368962

>>368961

watching Mortal Engines right now lad

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168c0d No.368963

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94f5c2 No.368964

you mean the old film that has only just now been translated? I'd like to see that, maybe tomorrow or whenever 22st is next not working

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1a0221 No.368965

>>368963

didn't say we couldn't watch yours later, cutie

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214743 No.368966

File: ccc8657bc59fd90⋯.png (1.33 MB,769x725,769:725,bilbo.png)

>tfw could have realistically become peak male perfection but that time is over now

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1884cf No.368967

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214743 No.368968

>>368967

yes, COULD have. Could have grown.

5'6

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1884cf No.368969

>>368968

>lying

we know you're 5'3 lad.

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94f5c2 No.368970

>dorset has done the stretching exercise and whispered grow, grow while reaching for the ceiling and in actually worked

until he resumes his naturally shit posture and once again becomes 4'10

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c67e14 No.368971

Dorset I bet I am taller than you and could take you in a fight.

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4be44b No.368972

Your body length is fixed genetically, but your legs grow according to your food intake growing up. If your legs are short and your body is long then it's your parents fault for not feeding you properly.

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214743 No.368973

>>368971

Nah I am taller than you

I could easily take you in a fight too, couldn't probably take most people here

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1884cf No.368974

>>368971

please don't pick on little people, lass. anyone under 4'7 is no longer fair game.

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214743 No.368975

File: 19f23d2ae4f1e66⋯.png (Spoiler Image,157.11 KB,508x424,127:106,1479752461150.png)

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214743 No.368976

>>368973

fucksake

COULD* take most people here

AAAAAHHHH

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d0a12f No.368977

>>368972

>Your body length is fixed genetically, but your legs grow according to your food intake growing up

that doesn't make any sense, why would the legs specifically be different? the final growth of the entire body depends both on genetics and nutrition from conception to maturity

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c67e14 No.368978

File: 35b6cc9af5bd360⋯.png (299.43 KB,555x900,37:60,ClipboardImage.png)

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e75bc1 No.368979

>trying to buy a digital camera just for snapshots etc. but still at a high enough quality that if something good does happen it could be used for a more serious purpose

>marketplace is flooded with retards trying to sell decade old sub 10megapixel cameras for more than a tenner

roooooo

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94f5c2 No.368980

>>368978

keek but also AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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c67e14 No.368981

File: 0bb0134d0b172fb⋯.png (Spoiler Image,349.4 KB,765x1045,153:209,ClipboardImage.png)

File: c93c10c5de665ca⋯.png (Spoiler Image,295.98 KB,1020x783,340:261,ClipboardImage.png)

File: 7bbd7bd80e0d535⋯.png (Spoiler Image,580.98 KB,783x1020,261:340,ClipboardImage.png)

File: 13598dc2f121719⋯.png (Spoiler Image,508.48 KB,1020x783,340:261,ClipboardImage.png)

>>368980

Specially for you Wessie.

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1a0221 No.368982

File: 6dad45d227dd8a2⋯.jpg (101.66 KB,632x1952,79:244,6dad45d227dd8a2a06717ec5ee….jpg)

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502f33 No.368983

File: 07ba9e76e54d9ab⋯.png (5.19 KB,205x246,5:6,07ba9e76e54d9ab78e3e815204….png)

phew mummy just poked my $220 screen with her whore fingernails and it left a mark, it cleaned off but for a minute there I was very concerned that she scratched it. would have been fucking PISSED. still am because the dumb fucking boomer did it in the first place, you can't touch a monitor, especially with your fingernails. I wouldn't give a fuck if it were an old shitty one but this is a nice new 1080 144hz 1ms monitor I bought with my own shekels for $220, it's my baby, if she scratched it then I'd be staring at her stupidity all day

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94f5c2 No.368984

>>368981

the funny bit is the chris chan bit though

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502f33 No.368985

File: fa6d369c457a7c9⋯.jpg (19.5 KB,346x450,173:225,465b7a993d3fe4ae1be031ed4e….jpg)

btw the concert tickets were for santana, $350 for 3 boomers to see some shitty bald boomer guitarist. enormous waste

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502f33 No.368986

oh and that "santana" is a fucking beaner too

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e75bc1 No.368987

File: 46dae527c2a885c⋯.png (81.75 KB,638x557,638:557,46dae527c2a885ceb8af8810c9….png)

>>368985

>santana

fucking hell he's still going?

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214743 No.368988

make a new thread

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214743 No.368989

File: c04025448637fc9⋯.jpg (200.23 KB,1080x1080,1:1,1548276691161.jpg)

last post best post

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