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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

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cfc1be No.342730 [View All]

White Magic

>the white Christmas we imagine, where there are layers of snow covering the ground, is much rarer; Ladbrokes have reduced the odds from 10/1 to 5/1 that the mild temperatures will smash the 15°C record set in 1920

>according to the Met Office, Christmas Eve will see cloudy with patchy rain conditions

>it will be mostly dry and cloudy on Christmas Day itself, with some showers expected for Boxing Day

(23rd December 2018)

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7683870/white-christmas-2018-odds-uk/

Resurgent al Qaeda plotting attacks on airports, planes, UK minister warns

>the UK’s security minister has warned that a resurgent al Qaeda is seeking to carrying out fresh terror attacks on airplanes, using drone technology and jihadist sleeper agents working at airports

>Ben Wallace MP told The Sunday Times that with Islamic State on the decline, al Qaeda was regrouping and had already made grounds in Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Libya under the organisaton’s spiritual leader and Osama bin Laden’s inheritor Ayman al Zawahiri

>the minister said that an additional £25 million has been put into threat detection and counter-terror activities to “protect our planes even more from new chemicals,” miniature bombs, and the “insider threat” of al Qaeda operatives working in airports

(23rd December 2018)

https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2018/12/23/resurgent-al-qaeda-plotting-terror-attacks-airports-planes/

Ukrainian official invites British warship to cross Kerch Strait & see how Russia reacts

>a deputy minister in Kiev suggested that the British Navy should send its warship to the Sea of Azov to test Russia’s response; Moscow described the idea as "bonkers"

>since the Royal Navy hydrographic survey ship, HMS Echo has no weapons on board, it is not bound by international regulations, which limit the activity of navies belonging to non-Black Sea states in the region, Deputy Minister Yuri Hrymchak argued

>officials in Moscow blasted the suggestion as being out of touch with reality; it indicates “how dangerous the current regime in Kiev is for the world,” Russian Senator Frants Klintsevich said, adding that "this regime is descending deeper into a maniacal condition"

(23rd December 2018)

https://www.rt.com/news/447244-british-ship-kerch-strait/

Bishops set to boycott Church of England transgender guidance

>earlier this month, the Church issued a document encouraging clergy to use liturgy "to enable people to mark a major transition in their lives"; the guidance suggests a person can renew the commitments they made in baptism in a public setting marking their new identity

>a number of bishops, led by Bishop of Wakefield Rt Rev Tony Robinson, are now said to be calling for a conscience clause to be introduced for those who feel they couldn't lead a service like this

>in a statement, Bishop Julian warned the guidance was "both highly divisive and theologically and pastorally questionable"; the CofE says there is no obligation on clergy to offer this service

(23rd December 2018)

https://www.premier.org.uk/News/UK/Bishops-set-to-boycott-CofE-transgender-guidance

Nearly 40% of UK millennials can’t identify baby in Bethlehem Christmas story

>the upcoming generations of the West are not only growing up in a post-Christian culture; they are growing up in nations where their families are often several generations removed from any semblance of Christian belief and Christian knowledge

>a survey carried out by the research firm OnePoll discovered that 38% of Britons between the ages of 21 and 28 did not know the identity of the baby in Christmas Nativity scenes, around 37% could identify neither Joseph nor Mary, fewer than 10% could name the gifts given to the Lord Jesus by the three wise men and some even believed that Santa Claus was somehow linked to the Christmas story

>to be unaware of the beliefs that motivated prior generations for over a thousand years is to be cut off from our own history in an extraordinary way; it is to ensure that we simply cannot understand why things happened the way that they did, and to be crippled in our ability to analyze the present and plan for the future

(21st December 2018)

https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/2-in-5-uk-millennials-cant-identify-baby-in-bethlehem-christmas-story

646 posts and 238 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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a434bd No.343378

>>343376

Strange question regarding the mustard. Mummy and I both get very itchy heads when eating mustard. Do you experience this?

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bdf4e1 No.343379

>>343378

heightened sensitivity probably

I don't get anything like that no

although now you've said it my head itches keek smh

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a434bd No.343380

>>343379

>he is going to be scratching his head and squirming uncomfortably in his seat as he tries to hold whatever wants to be expelled from him in on the train

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81422f No.343381

File: 6c3b4bd68c392a7⋯.mp4 (495.54 KB,552x360,23:15,speed rob.mp4)

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cd523e No.343382

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cd523e No.343383

File: e82f4b8cca9697f⋯.png (383.4 KB,731x595,43:35,ClipboardImage.png)

LOL

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d4fa3b No.343384

>>343383

Theresa May on the left.

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cd523e No.343385

File: 4f99b27ed10c3a6⋯.webm (2.79 MB,590x344,295:172,Wessex game.webm)

Why do these people want Wessex to play their game so badly?

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cd523e No.343386

>>343384

Yeah it's about Brexit. baste comedy

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bdf4e1 No.343387

File: 6e80cf079368143⋯.png (583.08 KB,580x563,580:563,lickinglips.png)

>>343385

thicc

I assume it is a naughty video rather than a real game trailer

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cd523e No.343388

>>343387

she probably can't reach to wipe her arse. Looks like you found yourself a job.

And it does look like one of those mobile game apps. Never underestimate la creatura marketing.

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cd523e No.343389

>>343367

Merry Christmas to you too, lad

>he couldn't get the camera to focus

keek such a boomer

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81422f No.343390

File: 1a8ecafac9917a5⋯.gif (51.78 KB,120x120,1:1,1a8ecafac9917a58fc3819230d….gif)

gotta force myself to go to bed, 5:20am fug

>>343388

>she probably can't reach to wipe her arse. Looks like you found yourself a job.

btfo I enjoyed the thigg as well tbf

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bdf4e1 No.343391

File: bbcc4b6ae4d0940⋯.png (469.31 KB,480x454,240:227,sweaty1.png)

File: 8c8dbdf77ec35a6⋯.png (624.9 KB,857x1128,857:1128,murrca82thot.png)

>I don't have the best venti one where it overlays the 56% face on her

>>343388

give me a source lad

I will observe these 56%s for myself

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bdf4e1 No.343392

>>343389

it's focused lad

my phone is a tesco flipper and the camera is just shit

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cd523e No.343393

>>343391

Don't have it, sorry, lad. Asking the thread where I found it tbh

>>343390

Night night lad

>>343392

OH

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bdf4e1 No.343394

>>343393

link it lad I'm sure it's full of other naughty things

yeah I think soon next year I will get a proper goy tracker phone and an e reader

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cd523e No.343395

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>343394

Found it, lad. You're welcome. Keeeeek

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cd523e No.343396

as a neet e-reader will be good I think. free books

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748571 No.343397

>>343396

they should put manga on those things

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bdf4e1 No.343398

>>343395

oh, it's that channel shrop linked to

>>343396

yeah I have so many pdfs that I haven't read

so long as I can put those onto a screen that won't fry my eyeballs or keep me awake it would be good

>>343397

>scan manga as pdf

>works

at least i hope that's what e readers are for and that they can run pdfs, or else there's no point

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cd523e No.343399

>>343397

I think they do. Not sure. Manga panels will be very small though

>>343398

it worked fine for me tbh.

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cd523e No.343400

File: 36d20077feb923e⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,129.01 KB,1280x1220,64:61,36d20077feb923e75f6cbff6b0….jpg)

Will there be any more of this when you're at your grandparents, Wess?

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cd523e No.343401

I love that pic btw keek*

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748571 No.343402

File: a55df6d7a076842⋯.jpg (57.4 KB,900x955,180:191,W 1014.jpg)

I really don't like meeting relatives at all, I kind of want to just sit and hide in the closet.

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cd523e No.343403

>>343402

iktf, lad. Not real holiday until today is done, and the 2nd Day of Christmas where we visit other family. Then finally I will be free.

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42ace6 No.343404

File: 58f3ea3bd944729⋯.jpg (82.8 KB,691x921,691:921,24122018_1022.jpg)

Just got my internet speed upgraded, lads.

I took a pic of the engineer doing his job to keep as a memento.

>>343402

smh I know that feel, lad.

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cd523e No.343405

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

cryin tbh

>>343404

Nice, lad. Nice to see you

>that poster

NO SHAME

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cd523e No.343406

did you edit out his arse crack?

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42ace6 No.343407

File: 572cdfe37b6a72b⋯.jpg (30.79 KB,346x510,173:255,1545246011201.jpg)

>>343405

Nice to see you too, lad. Do the Norwegians celebrate Christmas on the 24th like the Danes?

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748571 No.343408

>>343403

>>343404

soon we'll be in comfy wintertime

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42ace6 No.343409

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748571 No.343410

>>343404

>no other sizes of this image found

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cd523e No.343411

>>343407

Yeah it's Christmas eve rather than Christmas day

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cd523e No.343412

>>343410

well duh

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bdf4e1 No.343413

>>343400

depends on whether their internet is good enough I guess

not sure if they even have wifi

>>343412

what is it? if it's something gay don't tell me

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cd523e No.343414

File: 90f2b0581dece1d⋯.png (230.79 KB,490x660,49:66,parasitical Welsh lad.png)

>>343408

thanks for keeping me warm and comfy, lad

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cd523e No.343415

>>343413

it's a man crouched over

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42ace6 No.343416

File: 28103d36c9e87e5⋯.jpg (78.12 KB,1200x1363,1200:1363,3365.jpg)

>>343408

It's the most wonderful time of the year

>>343411

Happy Christmas Eve!

Does your family all get together and hold hands and walk around the Christmas tree like the Danes too?

>>343413

>having me on filter around this time of year

GRINCH

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cd523e No.343417

>>343416

Not my family. We do in school as kids. Merry Christmas dude. Going to find my stocking and eat some sweeties tbh

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bdf4e1 No.343418

>>343415

probably something gay then

the nigger jock is the one person I will never unfilter

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cd523e No.343419

>>343418

he's white dude, and the lad crouching over is just a plumber installing new internet

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748571 No.343420

File: 9af1d543f6ed140⋯.jpg (147.26 KB,886x627,886:627,W 3432.jpg)

>simulate ww2

>axis fail

>restart the simulation

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cd523e No.343421

File: 0076094fdedcd5d⋯.png (13.17 MB,3024x4032,3:4,ClipboardImage.png)

Gonna make this sticking disappear

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748571 No.343422

File: 303963c4d18d502⋯.png (16.75 KB,236x228,59:57,division art.png)

cool art in this mod tbh

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42ace6 No.343423

File: 117da2577f51069⋯.mp4 (3.25 MB,640x360,16:9,training for the race war ….mp4)

>>343417

>>343421

have fun munching, man

>>343418

GRINCH

>>343420

Keep going till the good guys win

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cd523e No.343424

File: 4c67df47ab23748⋯.png (10.49 MB,3024x4032,3:4,ClipboardImage.png)

Oh no

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42ace6 No.343426

File: 665c531598632ce⋯.png (171.52 KB,500x562,250:281,dbvs21b-e8dbb564-2e68-43ee….png)

>>343424

>made in Sweden

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cd523e No.343428

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>when the Lew's feelin a lil cheeky

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d3af31 No.343429

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