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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

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c00f00 No.281191 [View All]

"Gareth Southgate, the whole of England is with you"

We still believe, we still believe

We still believe, we still believe

It's coming home, it's coming home

It's coming, football's coming home

It's coming home, it's coming home

It's coming, football's coming home

Tears for heroes

Dressed in grey

No plans for final day

Stay in bed drift away

It could have been all

Songs in the street

It was nearly complete

It was nearly so sweet

And now I'm singing,

Three lions on a shirt

Jules Rimet still gleaming

No more years of hurt

No more need for dreaming

Talk about football coming home

And then one night in Rome

We were strong

We had grown

And now I see

Ince ready for war

Gazza good as before

Shearer certain to score

And Psycho screaming,

Three lions on a shirt

Jules Rimet still gleaming

No more years of hurt

No more need for dreaming

We can dance Nobby's dance

We could dance it in France

It's coming home, it's coming home

It's coming, football's coming home

It's coming home, it's coming home

It's coming, football's coming home

It's coming home, it's coming home

It's coming, football's coming home

And now, the news! Good news, too!

KRAUTS ARE OUT!

World Cup 2018: Germany boss Joachim Low admits side deserved to go out

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44636604

>Germany manager Joachim Low says his side deserved to go out of the World Cup after they crashed out in the group stage in "historic" fashion.

>The defending champions finished bottom of Group F after losing 2-0 to South Korea, the first time Germany have gone out in the first round of a World Cup since 1938.

Social media laughs at German failure

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44632592

>Germany - currently top of the Fifa rankings and reigning world champions, were knocked out of the World Cup in the group stage for the first time since 1938.

>Joachim Low's side finished bottom of Group F and, perhaps a little cruelly, the rest of the world can't seem to hide their joy at the shock result.

COME ON YOU INGERLAND! IT'S COMING HOME!

World Cup 2018: England will 'play to win' against Belgium

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44636864

>England manager Gareth Southgate insists they will go all out to win their final World Cup group game against Belgium in Kaliningrad and top Group G - then worry about future opponents in the knockout phase.

>Southgate's side have already secured a last 16 place and Thursday's game will decide who wins the group.

>He dismissed theories England may even benefit from finishing below Belgium to map out an easier route in Russia.

>He said: "We have not won a knockout game at the World Cup since 2006, so why we would start plotting which would be a better venue for our semi-final would be beyond me."

World Cup 2018: Is it easier if England finish second in group?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44620166

>It's the question on the lips of every England fan - is it better to lose to Belgium on Thursday night?

>Both Gareth Southgate's side and Belgium have secured a place in the last 16, with the only matter to be decided in Kaliningrad which team wins the group.

>But is there an easier route through the knockout stages on offer to the team who finishes second?

World Cup: Are England good enough to re-write history?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44637064

>England's recent World Cup record is the tale of teams that have not been good enough to live up to any level of expectations - high or low.

>Since reaching the semi-final at Italia 90, England have won only two knockout matches, the 3-0 win against Denmark in Japan in 2002 and the 1-0 win over Ecuador in Germany four years later.

>England lost in the last 16 in South Africa in 2010 and were out after two group games in Brazil four years ago.

>And to add to the litany of mediocrity, England have never beaten a team higher than them in the Fifa rankings since David Beckham's penalty beat Argentina in Sapporo 16 years ago.

>England were then ranked 12th and Argentina third - ironically the same as the current rankings of themselves and Belgium.

>So, for all the expectations around them, England now face the moment of truth at this World Cup.

606 posts and 262 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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5f7e2d No.281810

>>281809

around elves

WATCH YOURSELVES

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ef183b No.281811

File: ad81bfae1a91476⋯.png (563.1 KB,774x585,86:65,unknown.png)

>>281806

Show us your hair, lad

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ef183b No.281812

>>281809

But why? Borderline furry

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5f7e2d No.281813

File: e48ef9426b0d587⋯.png (1.1 MB,664x1000,83:125,ClipboardImage.png)

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ef183b No.281814

File: 4f38703fd707a42⋯.png (1.08 MB,888x1050,148:175,4f38703fd707a42ffe6529318d….png)

>>281813

i am gay that film was really creepy

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23fb55 No.281815

kinggoblin is a bit grim tbh lads

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4fb01d No.281816

File: c0c7b3cee90ee7e⋯.mp4 (5.38 MB,1280x720,16:9,DK Despair.mp4)

OOHHHHH

THE ITCH

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ef183b No.281817

>>281816

give it a good ol' scratch, lad

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4fb01d No.281818

File: 1e51b2a69199a18⋯.webm (2.09 MB,960x540,16:9,Dorset Shooting.webm)

>>281817

I can't, if it breaks the dressing or the scab under there the healing will be set back again

it's so itchy ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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ef183b No.281819

File: 8d1669a8e802964⋯.png (9.33 KB,418x408,209:204,8d1669a8e802964087eb1739c0….png)

>>281818

would feel sooooo good to peel that scab off and eat it. It's okay, lad. I won't tell anyone.

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357e30 No.281820

>>281812

No it's not.

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4fb01d No.281821

File: a2d2e3376e48e40⋯.webm (1.6 MB,720x540,4:3,amishdruiddrifting.webm)

forum game ideas

- kriegspiel 2 except it's 2 teams versus and set in the 30 years war with strict limitations on what you can do so I don't have to deal with the nonesense of last game

- super freeform fantasy 1500s colonization and war where you send in your autistic instructions that make things ever more complicated and slows the game to a crawl

- some sort of rpg lite where you each play a party member and do rando dungeon crawls or smth

- fuck it just play video games (actually this could be pretty cool, I play Conquest of Elysium as each of your factions, you play as a guy in the main citadel getting text reports ala kriegspiel. Would go fast because there's a limit to what you can do in the game)

>281819

>and eat it

TOO FAR

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4fb01d No.281822

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

CoE4 trailer

I'd see all that, you'd get reports and occasional screenshots to base orders around

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572bb7 No.281823

File: d20cd6eb046fb4f⋯.jpg (61.11 KB,1280x720,16:9,war.jpg)

>>281821

you know what my autistic vidya game idea is?

it'd be called "30 Years" (30Y for short) and it'd be a semi-historical fantasy MMORPG set in the 30 years war. you could play as a character from any of the major countries involved (Austria, Spain, France, Sweden, Saxony, etc.) and there'd be two factions, the Habsburgs and the anti-Habsburgs and it would be a cyclical campaign that would last 30 days (each day being a "year") and start on the 1st of every month. at the end of the campaign, if you participated then you'd get a number of reward points depending on if your faction won and by how hard, which you could spend on cosmetic shit. and of course being a MMORPG there'd have to be magic and a wizard class, and you could have a priest class that heals, and a bow and arrow class, and a sneaky dagger backstabby poison class, and a warrior class obviously and then a paladin class that's like a warrior but not as good but can heal so he's a bitch to kill. and you could have a blessing from a saint as a temporary bonus and all this other larpy christcuck shit. and the maps that would decide control of territory for a faction would be things like, "destroy the idols" for the anti-habs faction or "burn the translated bibles" for the habs faction or just sieging/defending a castle or massacring heretical villagers. I think about it sometimes to pass the time when I'm working or whatever, there's endless vidya idea LARP to be had there.

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4fb01d No.281824

>>281823

I'm talking about things that I can run here for people on this board, see here for the first time I did something like this:

>>234700

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572bb7 No.281825

>>281824

oh rip. how about risk or something

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4fb01d No.281826

File: ee75846fb020f6d⋯.png (536.87 KB,1000x780,50:39,dom5uruk.png)

>>281825

a little simple and boring for me

I'm writing up an OP for Conquest of Newbrit, basic idea follows the Kriegspiel game I did where I give reports to players in secret via Bongo Bongo Land & nobody knows for sure what everyone else is doing, although they can co-operate and backstab etc.

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4fb01d No.281829

File: 2393e14dea3a7e2⋯.png (553.34 KB,1024x768,4:3,dom5morricone.png)

Conquest of Newbrit

Now taking applications

>>281827

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5f7e2d No.281831

>>281826

I feel like this is too ambitious for an image board tbh

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ef183b No.281832

File: d47f4ec5e10de04⋯.png (234.72 KB,2500x2500,1:1,The Goodlass The Badlass A….png)

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5f7e2d No.281833

https://www.dw.com/en/german-man-suspected-of-killing-21-co-workers-by-poisoning-their-food/a-44427747

German man suspected of killing 21 co-workers by poisoning their food

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4fb01d No.281834

>>281831

not really, it's far simpler than the kriegspiel I did before, just translating basic moves in the videogame into reports

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4fb01d No.281836

File: e6680a125e96ace⋯.png (1.06 MB,1680x1311,560:437,dom5swallow.png)

Here's an example report for the first turn of a Witch:

>>281835

The most complex it will get is having multiple armies moving around, a trade report, a ritual report and a recruitment report, each consisting of screenshots or writeups of lists.

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4fb01d No.281837

>>281836

nb complexity is reduced in the way kriegspiel was meant to be, as well; if an army isn't in direct line of sight of the main character, their reports will be briefer and contain less information, making it more of a risk to manage.

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659fd3 No.281838

File: 1ac5d8aeaf92d4f⋯.jpg (35.75 KB,800x662,400:331,1530331084827.jpg)

Since it's the last day of pride month I wish to remind all of you here on r/newbrit that there is literally nothing wrong with two adults being in a consensual loving and caring relationship with one another.

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ef183b No.281839

File: 0edbb043bab5551⋯.png (12.4 KB,419x395,419:395,8c07bd2f3aa2ed12f65aa3f5e4….png)

>>281838

LAD NO

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c66e42 No.281840

>>281838

It's about time you came out of the closet lad

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4fb01d No.281841

File: 4f493142489cb7b⋯.png (584.88 KB,863x863,1:1,ClipboardImage.png)

UNGH

THICCER

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ef183b No.281842

>>281841

i am gay. If only lasses in real life was thicc as anime girls

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47f67e No.281843

File: 24e58899a39acad⋯.jpg (158.85 KB,1024x640,8:5,24e58899a39acaddcaf819a543….jpg)

>>281842

they're getting there thanks to baste xenoestrogens

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c00f00 No.281844

File: a86f189b298e709⋯.png (257.63 KB,370x529,370:529,ClipboardImage.png)

*gets BTFO*

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47f67e No.281845

File: 7d43001122002ca⋯.png (36.8 KB,870x544,435:272,soccer.png)

>>281844

ya it's a shame, maybe Engeland will win the soccer tournament now

does that mean Portugal and Argentina will play against each other now? 'cause they got eliminated at the same tier? that's all I wanna see tbh

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c00f00 No.281846

>>281845

No, they're both going home. RIP to the old GOATs

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c6ac7b No.281847

File: 0051d52a0397e40⋯.jpg (31.79 KB,636x358,318:179,Ok 6.jpg)

>bloke at the pub won ~£3,500 on France beating Argentina

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47f67e No.281848

>>281847

you know what'd be fucking badass, England vs France for the finals oooooh top ebin

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c6ac7b No.281849

File: 1259eb419455089⋯.jpg (85.16 KB,650x577,650:577,Capture3.JPG)

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4fb01d No.281850

File: 1b3845738384cb9⋯.png (775.5 KB,1013x685,1013:685,ClipboardImage.png)

Druid class teaser

Conquest of Newbrit

>>281827

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c66e42 No.281851

>>281850

I see they're D&D druids

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227a2e No.281852

hello

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c6ac7b No.281853

File: 33d25dd3d2c1c03⋯.png (342.96 KB,565x386,565:386,9fa6fe7f8be1c129b0686edd24….png)

>>281852

goodbye

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227a2e No.281854

>>281853

You should have said Is it me you're looking for?

smh

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5f7e2d No.281855

>>281854

>not referencing the Psychedelic Furs

smh

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89c669 No.281856

h

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c6ac7b No.281857

File: 22617cecc9487a8⋯.mp4 (735.78 KB,960x960,1:1,Comp 1.mp4)

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227a2e No.281858

>>281855

>Psychedelic Furs

This sounds like some hipster thing

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c6ac7b No.281859

File: a40c8ab8270ee12⋯.webm (216.79 KB,960x960,1:1,HELLo.webm)

File: a40c8ab8270ee12⋯.webm (216.79 KB,960x960,1:1,HELLo.webm)

File: a40c8ab8270ee12⋯.webm (216.79 KB,960x960,1:1,HELLo.webm)

File: a40c8ab8270ee12⋯.webm (216.79 KB,960x960,1:1,HELLo.webm)

4

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227a2e No.281860

*Plays Hearts of Iron 4 but never starts WW2*

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227a2e No.281861

>It crashed

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c6ac7b No.281862

File: 605f65198a3feb3⋯.webm (2.81 MB,480x360,4:3,STAR.webm)

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c00f00 No.281864

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