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/newbrit/ - /brit//politics/

An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: 83c2c1bbd09e5c3⋯.webm (7.91 MB,960x540,16:9,475.webm)

52d2e4 No.274791 [View All]

Britain to bask in glorious 26°C sunshine this weekend as tropical plume sweeps in from the continent

>Britons are set to bask in glorious 26°C sunshine this weekend as a tropical plume sweeps in from the continent across vast swathes of the UK

>the warm weather is arriving north from Africa and the continent, with large parts of the UK benefiting from long sunny spells

>but the weather isn't going to last as storm clouds over France could bring severe thunderstorms to the south-east early next week

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5820857/Britain-bask-glorious-79F-sunshine-weekend.html

Proposed MCZs could mean 40% of English waters get protection

>environment Secretary, Michael Gove, has set out plans to create more than 40 new Marine Conservation Zones (MCZs) in English waters

>the proposed protections, announced on World Oceans Day, will cover an area almost eight times the size of Greater London

>in welcoming the announcement MCS experts say it could have the potential to result in 40% of English seas being protected, but that designation is only the first step in creating a network of sites

https://www.mcsuk.org/news/MCZ_T3_announcement

World Oceans Day: "Precious seaside memories need protecting"

>to mark World Oceans Day, aimed at raising awareness about the importance of safeguarding our seas from the tide of plastic pollution, I travelled with two young girls on their first ever trip to the seaside to see our shores through their eyes

>as children of an island nation, dipping a toe into the waters that surround us is a birthright, albeit one designed to toughen up small souls

>for those who have never been to the seaside, the advice from Fatouma and Ousmani is: "Don't be scared of the seaweed - it looks funny, but feels nice and squidgy."

https://news.sky.com/story/world-ocean-day-precious-seaside-memories-need-protecting-11398340

Monster thunderstorms to batter Britain ahead of weekend scorcher

>thunderstorms will batter parts of Britain after torrential rain caused localised flooding in sections of the country, but temperatures are set to skyrocket this weekend, particularly in southeastern areas

>torrential rain in parts of the UK caused areas in central parts of Scotland to flood yesterday, while Wales had its warmest day of the year

>the best of the sunshine is going to be in the south, particularly in London, Cardiff and Plymouth, which will all be higher than 20 degrees

https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/971258/BBC-weather-forecast-thunderstorms-BBC-Breakfast-UK-weather-temperatures-Matt-Taylor

Tourists creating a "toxic legacy" of plastic waste in the Mediterranean Sea

>holidaymakers are being urged to shun single-use plastic this summer in a bid to combat a surge in pollution in the Mediterranean Sea

>an annual influx of 200 million tourists across the region is responsible for a 40% increase in marine litter entering the sea, of which a staggering 95% is plastic waste, according to a report commissioned by WWF, a leading conservation charity

>the Mediterranean, which is home to just 1% of the world’s water, now contains record levels of plastic pollution and accounts for 7% of the global problem

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/plastic-pollution-in-the-med-reaches-record-level/

669 posts and 184 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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796f75 No.275473

File: 2a150300c76bedc⋯.jpg (35.41 KB,560x560,1:1,c5f4c98c5fa1ef0245564e4f1a….jpg)

im quitting the internet forever

bye

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eb165a No.275474

>>275472

I hope not too, don't want to be sharing a county with that massive faggot

>>275473

godspeed chummo

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9b85b4 No.275475

File: 70697188c643f13⋯.png (160.75 KB,512x597,512:597,ClipboardImage.png)

>>275468

wait a minute

could it be

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eb165a No.275476

File: 18c40713ede5a53⋯.jpg (104.26 KB,800x600,4:3,6a20142a70d77f22702e144ccc….jpg)

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d66c9f No.275477

>>275465

Does sound like gommunism

>narrow it down

I thought Weald or Hampshire flatlands but changed it to Yank queer when he enacted his fagperium

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275652 No.275478

>>275472

By Neo's logic that makes you gay for me, so wew

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eb165a No.275479

>>275477

nothing wrong with communism

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275652 No.275480

File: 7f43ad290480490⋯.jpg (58.25 KB,322x557,322:557,THE SPY COMMUNITY.jpg)

The Dox Squad is out in force today

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d66c9f No.275481

File: 6084f0235c6f43a⋯.gif (1.47 KB,324x216,3:2,gg.gif)

>>275475

Perhaps this

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9b85b4 No.275482

File: b3c03bac77478cb⋯.png (154.13 KB,460x319,460:319,aputhinking.png)

>>275476

>depressive, dangerously autistic NEET hobbit most of the time, when Dorset successfully manages to repress his urge to accidentally wank for longer than eight hours, he becomes his alter-ego, Neo, a transvestite manifestation of his uncontrollable urge to masturbate to anime

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79e66d No.275483

>>275478

>by his logic

Wew that would be implying that queer is able to make rational decisions.

>makes you gay for me

You wish.

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eb165a No.275484

>>275482

Has anyone ever seen Dorset and Neo together at the same time? Think about it.

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37d5a1 No.275485

File: 6b0f2d863187063⋯.jpg (124.81 KB,750x530,75:53,__akiyama_yukari_nishizumi….jpg)

>>275460

I am no a plant either smh.

>>275461

Awwww you're all obsessed with me.

>>275465

You've become a lot more tolerant of me recently lad.

>quite close to the new work location

sweats

>>275470

You don't know me, you're not my dad.

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275652 No.275486

>>275483

Neo is nice tbh even if one has to watch out for her machinations

>You wish

No, you wish

>>275485

I know your type. First and foremost you're a slag, flirting with everyone like this. smh. You need discipline.

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d66c9f No.275487

Bees

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79e66d No.275488

>>275475

>cross of St. George mixed with Dorset's competition flag

Absolutely vile lad.

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eb165a No.275489

>>275488

tbh the dorset flag is utter shit and makes no sense

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37d5a1 No.275490

File: 58cc7c696662bb0⋯.jpg (165.53 KB,1400x920,35:23,__nishizumi_maho_girls_und….jpg)

>>275486

I already have my best friend keeping me moral thank you very much.

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eb165a No.275491

>>275486

>You need discipline.

What are you going to do? Spank his bum? You queer.

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ed0b46 No.275492

>>275461

>totally spies (Nick Lowles, Hope not Hate, Gerry Gables, Searchlight Magazine)

WEW

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275652 No.275493

>>275490

Your best friend is not doing a very good job then. No, I mean real discipline.

>>275491

If spankings are what are needed, who am I to dispute?

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ed0b46 No.275494

STOP ERPING

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d66c9f No.275495

>>275492

The best defence against spies (Nick Lowles, Hope not Hate, Gerry Gables, Searchlight Magazine) is being spies (Nick Lowles, Hope not Hate, Gerry Gables, Searchlight Magazine)

t. Gchq

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275652 No.275496

File: eedbd5af3d7a1e1⋯.jpg (157.13 KB,468x584,117:146,supreme.jpg)

The internet really is a terrible place fams

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d66c9f No.275497

>>275493

Nigga you cruising

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79e66d No.275498

>>275486

Simply being nice doesn't get you into Heaven.

>>275489

>makes no sense

Copying Cornwall but failing at it as per usual.

>>275492

GCHQ recruitment campaign.

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d66c9f No.275499

>>275496

Birmingham is worse

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275652 No.275500

>>275497

I already told Neo I can't be caught

>>275498

Well nobody mentioned Heaven

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d66c9f No.275501

>>275500

Gay cruising

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79e66d No.275502

>>275500

>nobody mentioned Heaven

That's because they know they're not going there when they die.

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eb165a No.275503

File: a7d8e309f231581⋯.jpg (124.51 KB,1920x1080,16:9,YOULL NEVER STOP ME.jpg)

going to get some small bit of happiness in my life before i die.. bye….

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ed0b46 No.275504

File: 4c32197926cd5bb⋯.png (894.92 KB,711x1000,711:1000,ClipboardImage.png)

>>275495

ahuh…

>>275498

it was pretty effective

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79e66d No.275505

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>275504

Are all cartoons part of the Jewish plot to destroy Christendom?

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275652 No.275506

File: 4982f449ec46ed3⋯.png (301.25 KB,599x448,599:448,I CAN'T SEE.png)

It's like last year with all the orbiting around Neo again

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d66c9f No.275507

File: cfb0ad6f39cfdc3⋯.jpg (128.89 KB,1280x720,16:9,maxresdefault (2).jpg)

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ed0b46 No.275508

>>275505

Just the french being french tbh, they have a lot worse on TV and in print and it's fucking great tbh

>>275506

>complains about it

>even though he did the most of it

s m h

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d66c9f No.275509

File: 438a2bb86c19692⋯.jpg (239.29 KB,768x576,4:3,Egg_Story.jpg)

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275652 No.275510

File: 7c8c63f6cbef2ff⋯.png (4.38 MB,1920x1080,16:9,go russian football team.png)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5840023/Russian-MP-warns-women-not-sex-World-Cup-visitors-avoid-single-mothers.html

Russian MP warns women not to have sex with World Cup visitors to avoid becoming 'single mothers with mixed-race children'

Why are Russian women such thots that they need to be told this?

>>275508

[citation needed]

You're the one who kept feeding her (You)s for no good reason

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d66c9f No.275511

Can we have a fresh thread please angel

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275652 No.275512

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>275508

also

>Just the french being french

This

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d66c9f No.275513

>>275510

Foreign men are more attractive than russkis

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ed0b46 No.275514

File: ecbabe43974972a⋯.png (197.88 KB,400x341,400:341,ClipboardImage.png)

New thread: "Ya'll niggas is gay" edition

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79e66d No.275515

>>275514

>new thread

Where?

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ed0b46 No.275516

>>275515

I dunno just giving you inspiration. Just do your thing, space man

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79e66d No.275517

>>275516

I'm off to exercise. Someoneelse can make it.

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275652 No.275518

I shall make the thread

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ed0b46 No.275519

panic.jpg

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275652 No.275520

almost done

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275652 No.275522

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5608df No.275537

smh there's plenty of time left before this thread is full

>>275336

>Dogs should be banned from built up areas

Might as well ask for dogs to be banned all together at the rate we're going. Inshallah.

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