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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

1c77a3 No.254330 [View All]

Master stove maker Esse launches landmark new stove with 'plug and play' convenience and flexibility

>iconic new electric heater developed to appeal to sophisticated, design-aware urban customers

>designed and built entirely in Britain, the all-new Vector electric heater marks a major milestone for the Lancashire-based engineering company

>the new Vector will introduce this long established British brand to a much wider cross section of customers

https://www.fireplace.co.uk/newsletters/february-2018/mobile/index.html#p=7

Scientists say lighting a cosy fire at home is bad for your health and can be as dangerous as a building site because of carbon emissions

>lighting a fire at home may create a cosy atmosphere – but the warmth and glow now come with a health warning

>scientists say householders should put on a mask before striking a match in their fireplace, or risk inhaling harmful fumes

>they say a family fireside can be as dangerous as a mine or building site when it comes to carbon emissions

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5415547/Cosy-fire-home-bad-health-building-site.html

What’s hot in the fireplace market

>the wood-burning stove you have been cosying up to since Christmas could be producing more particulates than an HGV

>this week Michael Gove, the environment secretary, said that he was considering banning the sale of house coal for open fires, allowing only low-sulphur, smokeless alternatives. Wood burners will not be banned, however, which will come as a relief to the 1.5 million households who have one, and the 200,000 people that buy one each year

>the pollution concerns don’t seem to be dampening people’s enthusiasm for gathering around open flames, according to fireplace designers. Quite the opposite, with demand for outdoor fireplaces, fire bowls, fire pits, fire tables and hanging stoves on the rise

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/whats-hot-in-the-fireplace-market-m89qjph77

Why you shouldn’t hang your TV over your fireplace

>aside from the fact that heat and smoke—which, remember, rise—aren’t great for your fancy electronics, you shouldn’t hang a television above even a decorative fireplace

>experts recommend the top of the screen should be between 15-35 degrees from the horizontal plane of your eye level (aim for 15 degrees), which means a flat panel mounted above a fireplace isn’t just an eyesore, but sore muscle inducing

>that means that a TV hung above the fireplace is just too high for you to watch comfortably from your couch. Find another spot for your screen where it can be closer to eye-level—and farther from the fire

https://lifehacker.com/why-you-shouldn-t-hang-your-tv-over-your-fireplace-1819028068

Fireplace suites – everything you need to know

>fireplace suite can instantly create a luxurious, exclusive look in your home, delivering on both functionality and style to provide you with a showstopping statement piece

>whether you live in a period property or a contemporary home, there’s a wide range of different fireplace suites available to cater to your individual requirements

>when choosing to invest in a fireplace suite, it’s important to carry out the necessary research so you are fully informed prior to purchasing

https://www.the-fireplace-studio.co.uk/news/fireplace-suites-everything-need-know/

626 posts and 177 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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eb6597 No.254962

>>254955

It can stay where it is but it should be looked down on for what it is when its abused

>>254956

Lel lad which shithole are you from

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58dc67 No.254963

>>254958

incorrect lad

25 is a good age for pregnancy

body is almost fully developed to carry a child effectively

18 year olds are usually skinny and too weak

>>254960

t. lusts after 30+ Goblines

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eb6597 No.254964

>>254961

Worse lad, I'm a practicing civic with a paki gf

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bec975 No.254965

>>254964

Nice LARP. You have no dick.

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eb6597 No.254966

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5ec124 No.254967

>>254953

Well it was in that context that I told you off. an 18 getting with a 16 is fine however.

>>254954

Well I have never complained that normie's are immature so it doesn't apply.

The mental development chems must've surely affected me as well? Besides "mental development" seems to be a highly subjective area. What if the lass is smart, what if I'm dump? Shit's ludicrous.

Also if you genuinely think that me shagging a lass one year my junior is dodgy then you're daft

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eb6597 No.254968

>>254959

Did you meet a lass lad?

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c073d4 No.254969

File: 044dd66e00c7421⋯.jpg (204.17 KB,750x1127,750:1127,breed me now.jpg)

>>254961

But he's got a point tbh, even if I don't completely agree with him, nowadays people are generally not as able to take care of kids at a younger age as they used to be won't stop me tho

>>254963

J.ewesses are special, they are extremely fertile

>>254967

fairs lad

>>254968

yeah but she's probably a thot, I have nicer girls in my contacts tbh

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58dc67 No.254970

>>254969

t. kids get all sorts of genetic deficiencies from being jewish

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eb6597 No.254971

>>254967

>Normie's aren't immature

>"just the same as brain dead Normie's"

From earlier in the convo

This is literal sophistry

>chems affecting you

Yeah lad that's why its wrong, if the line is 16 but now everybody is mentally still 12 then some things wrong

>daft

If you think a borderline 17yo lass is likely to be mother material then your daft too

Unless its just casual sex, in which case its hebephilia plain and simple

>

I'm not saying its impossible to find one, but its a flip reversal of every other opinion to say its likely

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c073d4 No.254972

File: a9c3df677176b23⋯.jpg (92.63 KB,768x768,1:1,cooks you dinner.jpg)

>>254970

Only the men tbh, the women are beautiful wives who are extremely fertile and made for breeding tbqh

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58dc67 No.254973

>>254972

did you go to the synagogue today?

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c073d4 No.254974

>>254973

Why would I, it's not Shabbat for Jews

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58dc67 No.254975

>>254974

well when did you go?

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c073d4 No.254976

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

tbh love this fucking show and this song

>>254975

I didn't, it was snowing m8

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58dc67 No.254977

>>254976

>I didn't, it was snowing m8

Oh yeah, typical excuses from you

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89334b No.254978

>herts like shitty netflicks

lmao RIP kino posting

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eb6597 No.254979

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58dc67 No.254980

not sure if i need another poo

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89334b No.254981

>>254980

eat more fibre you nigger

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5ec124 No.254982

>>254971

>earlier in the convo

point to the post and I'll tell you how you misinterpreted it

or I'll tell you that it's not something I believe in particularly. Either way I have never honestly said that normies are immature, I don't see myself separate from them.

>mentally 12

good point lad, I'll wait until this hypothetical lass is 19 so then she's mentally 14 and I'm mentally 16.

Not sure if I buy this mental development stuff anyway. You're telling me that the sex hormones in the water are making teens dumber?

>unless it's casual sex

more or less

>hebephilia

absolute madness. A lass 1 year off the legal age and 2 years younger than me is hebephilia? This shit is standard teenage practice and not looked down upon by anyone in either age group that I know of. We can't all have a fetish for mature lasses lad I like going with lasses in my age group.

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c073d4 No.254983

>>254977

>nobody would be there and it was unironically freezing out

But yeah I should've gone anyway just to prove it to some shut in in dorset

>>254978

You mean netKINO lad

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5ec124 No.254984

>>254976

Show was decent tbh

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58dc67 No.254985

>>254983

I went out in the snow. You didn't. Therefore I am above you.

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89334b No.254986

>254983

>imblying

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c073d4 No.254987

>>254984

Did you prefer the edgy bit or the romantic bit?

>>254985

I did go out my fam but that was for necessary and unavoidable purposes

>>254986

Everything on netflix is kino, or am I missing something?

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89334b No.254988

File: 48ade8debe0f8c0⋯.png (316.05 KB,540x537,180:179,ClipboardImage.png)

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5ec124 No.254989

>>254987

Edgy bit was fun and all but I liked the teen love shit more

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58dc67 No.254990

File: 2225bb5fbe48d4b⋯.jpg (105.98 KB,601x601,1:1,JUST.jpg)

>tfw no mandolin and banjo player to complete my trio

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c073d4 No.254991

File: 30fd0178b4403a8⋯.gif (1.98 MB,450x202,225:101,loving2.gif)

>>254988

Frodo was cool tbh

>>254989

Same it was really autistic at first but it's just disguise for what comes later which is nice

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bec975 No.254992

>>254972

Too young lad. Wait til she's 30 and then start paying for face lifts and her son's fast food.

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58dc67 No.254993

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eb6597 No.254994

>>254982

Ill assume I misinterpreted it as we are 650 posts deep and I'm on a phone

>don't buy it

There's buckets of research on it mate, its not my opinion, hormones affect development

>wait until…

Not suggesting its that simple

But given the above there is something to think about except purely age

>madness

No, knowing the above makes it a concern

2 dullards under 20 getting together is fine

They shouldn't have a kid though

A lad that posts here shouldnt be posting <18 thots in a sexualized manner

And certainly shouldn't be pro that age relationships

I'm fine with you doing it IRL, even if i think it's fucked up in the modern era because of the above

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c073d4 No.254995

>>254992

oi don't be passive aggressive towards vanlad

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58dc67 No.254996

in all seriousness would you lads get with a 30 year old if she was a 10/10 to you[other than age]?

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c073d4 No.254997

blimey mayhaps I will make make a thread

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c073d4 No.254998

>>254996

I'd impregnate her tbh but not marry her

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eb6597 No.254999

>>254992

>let's fuck literal children

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89334b No.255000

>>254997

10 quid it's gonna be about edgy tweens

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58dc67 No.255001

>>254998

whats the point

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eb6597 No.255002

>>254996

I would as the age difference wouldn't be massive

I wouldn't suggest you lads did it if you're nearer 20 than 30 though

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58dc67 No.255003

>>255002

thats what I thought tbh

smhing at me smh ahhhhhh

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c073d4 No.255004

>>255000

It will be now

>>255001

cause then I'm free to not worry about having non mutt children

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eb6597 No.255005

>>254997

>>255000

I'll go all in on this

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89334b No.255006

>>255004

It's just Heathers for millennials smh.

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58dc67 No.255007

>>255004

but theyd be raised by a single mummy

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eb6597 No.255008

>>255003

I wouldn't say it was a bad idea either though tbf

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58dc67 No.255009

>>255008

hmmm

would have cummed inside that older lass i met tbh

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c073d4 No.255011

AUTISM HO!

>>255010

>>255010

>>255010

>>255010

>>255010

My OP is actually a work of art fams

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5ec124 No.255015

>>254991

It was pretty funny but I wouldn't have been able to watch more of 2 teens being edgy. The love angke was better, although underdeveloped. I wasn't particularly impressed but the show was "dece"

>>254994

>Misinterpret

I've probably called normies dipshits hundreds of times over my posting career. The truth of my opinion however is that I don't see normies any dumber than chan people. They're just circumstantially more ignorant because they're not hooked up to /pol/ ect

>affect development

Yeah physical development sure. But w/e I have nothing to say if there're studies proving this or that.

Doesn't matter though because *I'm* the one who's at a disadvantage in that scenario. If we're all being pumped w/ oestrogen then all she's getting is maturity sooner whereas I'm getting morphed into a soyboy. Sounds like the 17 y/o is the nonce here.

>purely age

Ultimately this "mental development" crap would depend on an individual anyway right? IRL I'd be doing case by case and frankly I can't stand stupid girls long enough to throw lines at them. Even so it sounds dubious. Can I not get with a dumb 19 y/o because she's mentally "stunted?

>sexualised manner

To be clear, the thots I posted were not sexualised as far as it concerns *me*. They're pictures of pretty girls that I post because I like pretty girls. There's no arse or tits or sexual connotations, and to say that they are just because I think they're attractive is silly. But if it makes you uncomfortable I can stop, although it's better to ask than call people nonces.

>pro relationships

I'm fine w/ it case by case.

Even then

As far as I can figure everyones on the same playing field if everyones underdeveloped.

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