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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: f405107a12be7b4⋯.jpg (69.44 KB,530x660,53:66,6d62becb8ede69424cd8a9dcee….jpg)

File: 72c5be100404217⋯.jpg (82.49 KB,500x746,250:373,08b9b431f7d81e9ac501a2f00e….jpg)

File: 63ca2106292ecd1⋯.jpg (39.02 KB,564x559,564:559,739d92afc9626e82fe89387f3b….jpg)

181ef0 No.226087 [View All]

Lemme tell ya lads

OOSH

Union Urges Gay Teachers to Come Out in the Classroom, Teach LGBT Experiences

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/12/09/union-teachers-come-out-classroom-teach-lgbt-experiences/

Amnesty International Refuses to Return Illegal Soros Donation to Fund Pro-Abortion Activism in Ireland

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/12/09/union-teachers-come-out-classroom-teach-lgbt-experiences/

Swedish Sex Crime Reports up 33 Per Cent Since Last November

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/12/09/swedish-sex-crime-33-per-cent-last-november/

688 posts and 217 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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181ef0 No.226800

>>226797

So it can slither around my arms and be my bro

>>226798

They're a little intense for me tbh

Maybe when I need a house guarded I'll get a nasty one

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6e23dc No.226801

>>226799

It's mooning lad, this'll probably be one of the last chances to get in under $200.

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794781 No.226802

File: 439804c2378b589⋯.png (20.54 KB,423x492,141:164,hfh.png)

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181ef0 No.226803

>>226801

>it's mooning

kek at these fresh faced crypto investors

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4442b0 No.226804

>>226800

just get a less intense dog, but I guess either way a dog is more work than a snake. Get a cat and lick its arse until you get infected

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6e23dc No.226805

File: 1bd60a4ab227cf0⋯.png (793.59 KB,800x534,400:267,ClipboardImage.png)

>>226803

tbh some of this is just /biz/ memes, the other day everything went down so I was concerned.

>>226800

bro snakes are a good idea.

>>226799

Have you got any ETH?

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181ef0 No.226806

>>226804

But I don't want a dog or a cat ladddddd

a snake is probably cheaper anyhow

>>226805

youre damn right it is

and it's p druidic

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181ef0 No.226807

File: 4619d131e34088f⋯.jpg (39.7 KB,564x797,564:797,walking through water.jpg)

>Me walking home after a long night of pushing it to the limit

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181ef0 No.226808

Tbh lads we never should've started wearing clothes. Nor should we have ever cut down any trees

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9ed92d No.226809

File: 3da92682227d533⋯.png (7.83 KB,380x443,380:443,3da.png)

>no one has even noticed Keith Chegwin is dead

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4442b0 No.226810

>>226806

you'll have to buy living mice to feed it

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4442b0 No.226811

>>226808

True. Hadn't it been for clothes the roasties would have gone extinct

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6e23dc No.226812

File: 23f11097931e94e⋯.jpg (113.21 KB,512x607,512:607,ss (2017-11-05 at 01.08.52….jpg)

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181ef0 No.226813

>>226810

No big deal tbh

i could also go frog hunting with it in the summer

>>226811

How?

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6e23dc No.226814

>tfw nearly at $1000

:)

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4442b0 No.226815

>>226813

>How?

People wouldn't breed with roasties, and we'd end up with innies only

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4442b0 No.226816

>>226814

lad don't earn money fair and square that makes me feel bad

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139fc8 No.226817

>>226801

i'll look into it

>>226805

nah but i probably should, do u?

thinking about just buying 1 of a bunch of each from this list lol, the ones that aren't worth anything and aren't complete memes and offer some improvements/differences compared to bitcoin. wouldn't hurt and it wouldn't cost a lot of money even if they never go anywhere, it couldn't hurt right?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cryptocurrencies

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181ef0 No.226818

>>226815

OOooooh I get it

tbh lad I'd prolly still be up for putting the ol' rod between a nice pair of fanny flaps tbh

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181ef0 No.226819

BUY XRP LADS

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4442b0 No.226820

>>226818

The tribe would kill you for doing that. sorry, lad

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181ef0 No.226821

File: cb6e00a6af283cf⋯.jpg (48.64 KB,500x750,2:3,FB_IMG_1434916202440.jpg)

SELL SELL SELL

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9ed92d No.226822

File: 2a4f4d8d6076668⋯.png (9.16 KB,362x358,181:179,pixepeped.png)

Tbh not knowing who Keith Chegwin is shows up how young this board is smh

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6e23dc No.226823

>>226822

How old are you?

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139fc8 No.226824

am sending this message from the year 2025. Things are looking bleak here, and some of you will carry blood on your hands.

If you don't believe me, please move on, as I have no way of proving to you I'm really who I claim to be.

I don't want to waste any of your time, so I'm merely going to explain what happened.

On average, every year so far, the value of Bitcoin has increased by about a factor ten. From 0.1 dollar in 2010, to 1 dollar in 2011, to 10 dollar in 2012, to 100 dollar in 2013. From now on, there's a slight slowdown, as the value increased by a factor ten every two years, to 1,000 dollar in 2015, to 10,000 in 2017, 100,000 in 2019, and 1,000,000 in 2021. From here onwards, there's no good way of expressing its value in dollars, as the dollar is no longer used, nor is any central bank issued currency for that matter. There are two main forms of wealth in today's world. Land and cryptocurrency.

There are just over 19 million Bitcoin known to be used in the world today, as well as a few hundred thousand that were permanently lost, and we're still dealing with a population of just over 7 billion people today. On average, this means the average person owns just under 0.003 bitcoin. However, due to the unequal distribution of wealth in my world, the mean person owns just 0.001 bitcoin. That's right, most of you reading this today are rich. I personally live next to an annoying young man who logged into his old Reddit account two years ago and discovered that he received a tip of 0.01 Bitcoin back in 2013 for calling someone a "faggot" when he was a 16 year old boy. Upon making this discovery he bought an airline ticket, left his house without telling anyone anything and went to a Citadel.

"What is a Citadel?" you might wonder. Well, by the time Bitcoin became worth 1,000 dollar, services began to emerge for the "Bitcoin rich" to protect themselves as well as their wealth. It started with expensive safes, then began to include bodyguards, and today, "earlies" (our term for early adapters), as well as those rich whose wealth survived the "transition" live in isolated gated cities called Citadels, where most work is automated. Most such Citadels are born out of the fortification used to protect places where Bitcoin mining machines are located. The company known as ASICminer to you is known to me as a city where Mr. Friedman rules as a king.

In my world, soon to be your world, most governments no longer exist, as Bitcoin transactions are done anonymously and thus most governments can enforce no taxation on their citizens. Most of the success of Bitcoin is due to the fact that Bitcoin turned out to be an effective method to hide your wealth from the government. Whereas people entering "rogue states" like Luxemberg, Monaco and Liechtenstein were followed by unmanned drones to ensure that governments know who is hiding wealth, no such option was available to stop people from hiding their money in Bitcoin.

Governments tried to stay relevant in my society by buying Bitcoin, which just made the problem worse, by increasing the value of Bitcoin. Governments did so in secret of course, but my generation's "Snowdens" are in fact greedy government employees who transferred Bitcoin to their own private account, and escaped to anarchic places where no questions are asked as long as you can cough up some money.

The four institutions with the largest still accessible Bitcoin balance are believed to be as following:

-ASICminer - 50,000 Bitcoin

-The IMF's "currency stabilization fund" - 70,000 Bitcoin

-Government of Saudi Arabia - 110,000 Bitcoin

-The North Korean government - 180,000 Bitcoin

Economic growth today is about -2% per year. Why is this? If you own more than 0.01 Bitcoin, chances are you don't do anything with your money. There is no inflation, and thus no incentive to invest your money. Just like the medieval ages had no significant economic growth, as wealth was measured in gold, our society has no economic growth either, as people know their 0.01 Bitcoin will be enough to last them a lifetime. The fact that there are still new Bitcoin released is what prevents our world from collapse so far it seems, but people fear that the decline in inflation that will occur during the next block halving may further wreck our economy.

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139fc8 No.226825

What happened to the Winklevoss twins? The Winklevoss twins were among the first to die. After seeing the enormous damage done to the fabric of society, terrorist movements emerged that sought to hunt down and murder anyone known to have a large balance of Bitcoin, or believed to be responsible in any way for the development of cryptocurrency. Ironically, these terrorist movements use Bitcoin to anonymously fund their operations.

Most people who own any significant amount of Bitcoin no longer speak to their families and lost their friends, because they had to change their identities. There have been also been a few suicides of people who could not handle the guilt after seeing what happened to the bag-holders, the type of skeptical people who continued to believe it would eventually collapse, even after hearing the rumors of governments buying Bitcoin. Many people were taken hostage, and thus, it is suspected that 25% percent of "Bitcoin rich" actually physically tortured someone to get him to spill his password.

Why didn't we abandon Bitcoin, and move to another system? Well, we tried of course. We tried to step over to an inflationary cryptocurrency, but nobody with an IQ above 70 was willing to step up first and volunteer. After all, why would you voluntarily invest a lot of your money into a currency where you know your wealth will continually decline? The thing that made Bitcoin so dangerous to society was also what made it so successful. Bitcoin allows us to give into our greed.

In Africa, surveys show that an estimated 70% of people believe that Bitcoin was invented by the devil himself. There's a reason for this. It's a very sensitive issue that today is generally referred to as "the tragedy". The African Union had ambitious plans to help its citizens be ready to step over to Bitcoin. Governments gave their own citizens cell phones for free, tied to their government ID, and thus government sought to integrate Bitcoin into their economy. All went well, until "the tragedy" that is. A criminal organization, believed to be located in Russia, exploited a hardware fault in the government issued cell phones. It's believed that the entire continent of Africa lost an estimated 60% of its wealth in a period of 48 hours. What followed was a period of chaos and civil war, until the Saudi Arabian and North Korean governments, two of the world's major superpowers due to their authoritarian political system's unique ability to adapt to the "Bitcoin challenge", divided most African land between themselves and were praised as heroes by the local African population for it.

You might wonder, what is our plan now? It's clear that the current situation can not be sustained, without ending in a nuclear holocaust. I am part of an underground network, who seek to launch a coordinated attack against the very infrastructure of the Internet itself. We have at our disposal about 20 nuclear submarines, which we will use to cut all underwater cables between different continents. After this has been successfully achieved, we will launch a simultaneous nuclear pulse attack on every densely population area of the world. We believe that the resulting chaos will allow the world's population to rise up in revolt, and destroy as many computers out there as possible, until we reach the point where Bitcoin loses any relevance.

Of course, this outcome will likely lead to billions of deaths. This is a price we are forced to pay, to avoid the eternal enslavement of humanity to a tiny elite.

This is also the reason we contacted you.

It doesn't have to be like this. You do not have to share our fate. I don't know how, but you must find a way to destroy this godforsaken project in its infancy. I know this is a difficult thing to ask of you. You believed you were helping the world by eliminating the central banking cartel that governs your economies.

However, I have seen where it ends.

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f140f2 No.226826

File: 669e39c068dc318⋯.webm (3.03 MB,1280x720,16:9,Alex Jones loses his marb….webm)

>>226739

>>226747

It was also a somewhat functioning African country. For some reason the "International Community" really hates it when one of those exists.

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794781 No.226827

>>226822

I know who he is, I just can't remember anything he did.

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9ed92d No.226828

File: f57a6bad8b47834⋯.png (61.01 KB,355x342,355:342,1510762231447.png)

>>226823

I'm not that old but the majority of people here must be 18 or under

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bc8404 No.226829

File: e0bcc9536abfce6⋯.jpg (70.97 KB,533x754,41:58,__tanya_degurechaff_and_vi….jpg)

>>226822

tell me about the war grandpa, were you at the somme?

>>226826

Good, they'll be so ripe for conquest when the nationalist government takes power, i am gay.

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6e23dc No.226830

>>226828

I think the majority turned 18 or 19 relatively recently.

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181ef0 No.226831

File: 3bd52fbd3e25ba2⋯.jpg (17.36 KB,282x460,141:230,bow and stare.jpg)

File: 6acc250b2b6e7b9⋯.jpg (125.77 KB,564x753,188:251,robed with spear.jpg)

>>226820

I'll take them all on with my bow and my spear

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4442b0 No.226832

>716 posts

i am gay I feel sorry for people wasting their valuable posts after the 700 mark

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4442b0 No.226833

I AM NOT GAY ROOOOOO

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f140f2 No.226834

>>226829

>nationalist government

>takes power

>in Britain

Yes, you are a gay indeed.

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794781 No.226835

File: ab11bbb20497012⋯.png (644.03 KB,526x515,526:515,beano.png)

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6e23dc No.226836

newthread pls aaah

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181ef0 No.226837

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794781 No.226838

>>226832

What happens after 700 anyway?

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4442b0 No.226839

>>226836

¨we'll never get a new thread. We're done for

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6e23dc No.226840

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f140f2 No.226841

>>226817

It's inevitable that alternatives to bitcoin will catch on when people cotton on to the fact that bitcoin should have been deprecated long ago and replaced with successors that don't have its drawbacks. Based free market keeping the wrong coin at the top tbh.

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f140f2 No.226842

>tfw no Neo gf(male) to make us a new thread

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181ef0 No.226843

Is anyone on it?

I'll do it

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a7bdf8 No.226845

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

RIP Cheggers

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139fc8 No.226846

>>226843

ahh i was gonna but have it

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6e23dc No.226847

>>226817

I had maybe a third of an ETH but it kept going down so I sold it all whilst I still had a profit and put it back into LTC and BTC, I feel like I should've left some money in ETH but now I think it's too late.

I've got a litecoin and a third and it's almost worth £200 now wew. I need to get on one of those pages that trades absolutely everything and buy like 10 of each meme coin.

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181ef0 No.226849

>>226846

I mean II dont want to but sure

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bc8404 No.226850

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d3ac64 No.226907

File: c9fedd88810aa0b⋯.png (155.42 KB,599x321,599:321,zulu.png)

>>226802

bantu banta

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