No.372525 [View All]
251 posts and 135 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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No.372802
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No.372803
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No.372804
>>372795
oops I was brushing my teeth
night night
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No.372805
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No.372806
Hah.
I was actually Fortune all this time!
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No.372807
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No.372808
>>372807
i unboxed dishonored 2 and it's cool as shit and i'm playing it so i'm not super active :3
whatchu up to?
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No.372809
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No.372810
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No.372811
>>372809
welp RIP this conversation
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No.372813
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No.372814
>>372811
:(
What did you expect me to be doing?
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No.372815
>>372814
i mean
nothing is really dismissive so idk
it sounded like you didn't want to talk???
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No.372816
hot damn
I've never had a vodka that made me gag until now.
7.79 vodka is so bad
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No.372817
>>372815
All I want to do is talk. I just never know what to talk to you guys about.
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No.372818
you ever be in the shower
and then you open your mouth because you're making lewd faces
and then the water hits you in the throat
and it really hurts and you start choking
and then the shower wasn't good because you were coughing and your tummy hurt
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No.372819
>>372817
sorry, i dunno, just "Nothing" makes it sound like you're not in the mood for talking or s/t
i'll brb in ~10 minutes, have to clean goat stall
i dunno, we're both trantrans so that's one shared interest, don't necessarily need shared interests as long as we're both talking about stuff????????
any plans since you don't have work for a while? gonna go out anywhere?
REEEEEE i feel retarded
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No.372820
>>372818
sounds like a feat
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No.372821
>>372819
You asked what I as up to. I answered nothing. That's all.
I'd talk about that more if you want to I guess.
No, I wasted my day off again. It was rainy and stuff so there was nothing to do and now it's too late to do anything anyway.
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No.372822
>>372820
choking on water hurts so much
but the good thing is
my mommy had this lavender pillow spray
so now since I'm on my laptop against my pillow
it smells like lavender
watcha doin
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No.372824
>>372822
why you sound so young
tryin to figure out 3D stuff.
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No.372825
>>372824
because I've never worked a day in my life
or been in the real world
or been alone
and I'm like a year out of highschool
and so I never grew up
like 3d modeling?
whatcha modeling or trying to?
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No.372826
>>372825
time for a jooooob
a dragon dude
learning sculpting tools for the first time in blender.
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No.372827
>>372826
I wanna fix my mental health first
then I can become a wagie or just suck dick for cash if I get kicked out
I like dragons
3d modeling seems like a really cool skill to learn since you can do so much with it
is it like a hobby for you?
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No.372828
>getting liver spots
thanks dad
>>372821
sorry i'm probably making a big deal over nothing, i'm really socially retarded, idk
usually on boards like this you reply and give the other poster something to reply to as well? usually? i dunno
i mean, i don't really mind hearing about that kind of stuff? it's kind of nice to listen to, honestly. you do any stuff with your co-worker you're staying with?
well, if you're bored and have steam, i have like 300 games that i never play (because i use PS4 exclusively now) and steam has this function where you can share libraries with other users
just a shame to see them all go to waste lol
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No.372829
>>372827
whatcha got with the mental health
me too. Yeah for now it's a hobby, would like to get good enough for it to be more than that.
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No.372830
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No.372831
>>372828
That's true. I just don't want people to not like me so I never pick topics but then I get miffed cause I don't know what the hell anyone's talking about half the time.
What do you want to know? I'd like to try to help in any way I can. It's a long and treacherous road ahead if you're going through with it.
I have steam but I don't play games. Thanks anyway though.
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No.372833
>>372829
I dunno we're in the process of looking for a shrinky dink
that would be really cool, do you wanna do anything with it past sculpting? like putting the model into games or maybe animation?
>>372830
they made a real toaster with her body on it
and when the bread pops up it prints her head on it I think
something like that, I've seen it for sure though and know it's real
how are you today?
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No.372834
>>372833
wonder if its panic attacks
Yeah, animation's the goal. I had something kind of moving a while back. Got basic understanding of modeling, texturing, and rigging, need a few more areas to have a complete basic understanding. Like sculpting.
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No.372835
On Youtube looking up how to love yourself/self esteem videos and I just can't.
sobbing intensifies
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No.372836
>>372834
mmm it could be
there's a lot of little things that happen pretty regularly but I'm not informed enough to know about what's what and stuff
I just know whatever they are it makes things tough since they've been getting more frequent so I wanna sort it all out
that's really cool to me. I imagine movement would be tough to make it look good and accurate? working in tools like that seems way over my head but you seem pretty determined and it's kind of like fascinating in a way
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No.372837
>>372831
ah, right, i understand that. i'm kind of the opposite, too afraid of being annoying or boring so i try to engage other people a lot, perhaps too much so
oh, i meant, if you want to talk about yourself i'm more than happy to listen, like, i dunno. how's your social life? do you hang out with other girls a lot?
and yeah, i know, my dysphoria's skyrocketed since i stopped repressing, and i'm not even on HRT moodswings yet. i've made my mind up, though.
well, i mean, you said you play binding of isaac! and i have a ton of cutesy little indie games that are easy to get into, alongside the other stuff. standing offer, if boredom ever threatens consumes you!
>>372835
i think it helps to know that even the 100% passing girls feel dysphoria? and that it's not a rational issue??? or just not concentrate on dysphoria, one reason i let myself drown in vidya is i don't have to think about how i'm feeling
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No.372838
>>372833
Oh. They really love that joke themselves I see.
Fine. About to do college homework. I'll probably get focused on that here in a second.
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No.372839
>>372838
yeah yeah it's pretty clever and marketable and unless you've seen it I imagine it goes right over your head
kind of crude I think though
mmm okay, good luck on staying focused then
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No.372840
>>372836
I've got panic attacks sometimes. Hard to describe the issues. Hope psychiatrist helps out.
Riggings not too hard, basically just build bones attached to joints to tell the model how to move.
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No.372841
>>372839
I wouldn't lose my head about it either way.
I'll try my best.
>only 4 problems to this math assignment
>probably means these are all pretty long questions
>mfw
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No.372842
>>372837
lol what social life? I wish people hung out with me.
As long as you're sure, then I'd say go for it. It's a bag of suck though if I'm being honest.
Maybe I'll take you up on some games in the future. I really don't enjoy wasting so much time with them though. Not that I do anything better with my time.
This goes far beyond dysphoria. I've never had much self esteem in general. I don't like anything I do so I don't do anything anymore. Ugly crying just now made me feel a little better though and there might even be some left in there heh
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No.372843
>>372840
hmm
it still seems really complicated
maybe it's like one of those things some people grasp easier
>>372841
I'm really bad at math
I used to just kind of sit there and listen to what teachers said but nothing ever registered and I just sat there daydreaming
I hope they aren't too bad
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No.372844
>>372843
well, by the time you get a character all modeled and stuff, you know enough that it's pretty easy
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No.372845
>>372844
so like you learn as you go then?
I'm gonna sleepu, I hope you have a good night and your modeling goes well
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No.372846
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No.372847
>>372842
oh, i remembered you saying something about going to bars and getting hit on, a month or two ago?
yeah, i'm just hoping once i'm able to keep all clean and wear more girly stuff the dysphoria will be less prevalent. i think i have a better self-image than most transgirls (at least, i was at least able to accept my face when i was repressing) so i'm probably a bit lucky
what keeps me going with games is progression systems, ie finishing stories. trophies on PS4 help a lot because you have EXP and platinum trophies and it's this kind of 'goal' you can work towards
ah, yeah, i understand you there. i've felt
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No.372848
>>372847
Dunno. I go to the bars maybe twice a month with one of my friends but that's about it. Not sure where this hitting on business comes in. I wish I got hit on or something. So fucking lonely and I'm sick of it.
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No.372849
>>372848
oh, maybe i confused you with somebody else? i could swear you said some guy hit on you or s/t. i'm sure you could find somebody pretty easily, though! i mean even as an okay-ish cuteboy i hooked myself a devoted guy, though i had to break up because my attraction to men disappeared completely
how long have you been transitioning, if you don't mind me asking?
>ah, yeah, i understand you there. i've felt
not sure why this cut off
i meant to say i've felt similarly, had really low self-esteem most of my life, except i'd balance it with periods of extreme narcissism and pride (even though i've never really accomplished anything to be proud of)
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No.372850
>>372849
Maybe.. Nah, I think I'd remember if somebody made advances. Not even sure where to begin other than getting let down by these dating sites that don't work.
Dec. 16th will be my one year anniversary.
Hmm, same. I have pride in that I absolutely loathe asking people for help or handouts, but other than that I pretty much hate myself still. I thought I was getting better too :/
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No.372851
My friend's roommate is a legit furry, fursuit, baddragon dildo, whps, restraints, the works.
He is a cool guy, but he is such a freakin sexual deviant.
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No.372852
>>372850
ah, okay.
all over the place, really. you see a guy here or a girl there. i met my ex on /cuteboys/ (probably a bad idea, but it's not like i was actively -looking- there, it just kinda happened), had a half-day "fling" with a girl from /mtfg/, and i guess me and swede are a thing, from here? o:
though those are going to be one kind of people, and if you want 'normal' people i'd have no idea where to look
you're only a year in? i'd have thought you were much more in, to be honest, at least a year and a half. at this rate i'll probably start a week before it :P
i don't think i'd be too proud to ask for help, it's just i'm too awkward and have too low self-esteem to do so
you shouldn't! you seem really nice, and you're a lot more functional than most of the people here :x
you can love yourself as a beggar and hate yourself as a millionaire
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No.372854
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No.372856
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