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File: 9281937affe7ea2⋯.jpg (437.92 KB,1465x2048,1465:2048,Tefuko.jpg)

 No.6998 [Last50 Posts]

____________________________
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 No.7000

File: 539c5c65d7279b8⋯.jpg (594.31 KB,640x854,320:427,5087163892851289048.jpg)

yawn

Aahh~

Good morning, Babylon! ~desu

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 No.7001

File: 85c9e1f57f1277b⋯.jpg (15.68 KB,255x206,255:206,37_PNG.JPG)

some light shed on tefuko, very nice. How are all you? hop you had a happy new year. I am feeling the nails, but am happy.

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 No.7002

File: c451dde5aada53a⋯.png (15.68 KB,96x139,96:139,sui_triumph.png)

I had a very pleasant new year, it was quite nice. Glad you are doing well.

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 No.7003

File: c0e7d7d700338a9⋯.jpg (276.08 KB,750x750,1:1,7616743133321132427.jpg)

>some light shed on tefuko, very nice.

Of course, of course! ~desuyo

>>7001

You are happy!

>>7002

And it was nice and pleasant!

Fun, fun, so fun, I guess! I'm so glad! ~desu

I guess you didn't like my hat, but it's alright, because I like it!

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 No.7004

File: e5ddf7266a8f837⋯.jpg (20.93 KB,205x255,41:51,8_PNG.JPG)

>>7003

was super cute

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 No.7005

File: b0630816254fe5e⋯.jpg (233.77 KB,739x759,739:759,5882008368692216935.jpg)

>>7004

Love you!!!

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 No.7006

File: 2600ecaa8120663⋯.png (283.22 KB,549x477,61:53,2021_01_02_17_22_37_19_png….png)

>>7003

>spoiler

Oh Silly me I forgot to respond, I loved the hat, very koishi! Very cute!

My only complaint is you hide that pretty hair of yours

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 No.7009

File: 3b2e79f7ec4221f⋯.jpg (4.46 MB,2210x2668,1105:1334,4912759239491608971.jpg)

>>7006

Ehehehe, thank you, thank you! ~desu

Oh, no, no, it's there, it just requires a /desu/ Rosa Mystica Account™. If you don't have it, you may not be able to see it. ^ ^

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 No.7010

What has happened to the previous thread?

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 No.7011

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 No.7012

File: 81acd0682329e63⋯.jpg (447.04 KB,750x750,1:1,1454285118133396409.jpg)

>>7010

Bumplimit.

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 No.7014

File: 8a152fe2d692b32⋯.jpg (203.11 KB,1080x1252,270:313,8352145634212764349_2.jpg)

Hehehehe.

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 No.7016

Week ago launched 3rd eye and reached trading kiosk, and yesterday I tried some other game. And like every Unity game did, they were slowing down, freezing and crashing, which is true no matter on what machine you launch them. I've got my drivers right, idk what could be the problem. Why, oh why do you have to make your games with this engine? Also, saw Koishi and Rikuo together on the art and somehow realized... Is it really the hat that makes you invisible?

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 No.7017

File: 4ab9fbad43ed9fc⋯.png (700.39 KB,720x758,360:379,7985911544604781520.png)

File: cf25546057a01d9⋯.jpg (249.15 KB,1150x700,23:14,It_knows.jpg)

>>7016

Is it completely unplayable for you? How lame!

Huh, how interesting. As you may remember, I always hated Unity with passion, but never experienced problems such as yours. Well. Maybe I had. But just a little. Could it be that you still don't know how to properly tame a Windows machine and force it into submission? Do you even have one? Or maybe the problem is that you have these strange overheating folding things without peripherals, instead of personal computers? Scary, scary! No, not the hat, and not really invisible. Ehehe!

Ah, I see you still haven't played the games. How sad, I guess!

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 No.7018

>>7017

No, but still terribly inconvenient. And lame, yes.

You... You! You. Uguu~ Did you get stuck in around 2011 or something?... These things got good too, you know. And I do remember, it's just like myself. Inconspicuous then, no? If not, then I guess I'm Cirno.

I haven't... Well, I've got back to some nikkis.

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 No.7019

File: 3e9216b2403f498⋯.png (1.64 MB,2507x3541,2507:3541,2099830683086031817.png)

>>7018

Me? 2011? Maybe. But I'm not sure about that. Why not 2010 or 2012, for instance? And what exactly has become good about these things? Um, yes, more like this! Well, you know, like a small pebble on the roadside. Maybe she's in your room right now, sitting next to you, looking at you and following you everywhere, but you don't notice her because you can't perceive her existence. Until she lets you see her or you two make a direct contact. Or maybe she unconsciously wants you to notice her... But you'll forget her right after you lose sight of her anyway. ~desu

Unless Hope...

>last spoiler

A shame. No fun. That's nice, I guess. What game(s)? And how is it going?

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 No.7020

>>7019

Not particularly anything. In 2011 a laptop was bought with Windows Vista installed on it, it was not cheap, but weak. Later, I took over it, installed pimples (I was a schoolboy, so it shouldn't be hard for you to guess which flavor I chose!) and was happy to use it for quite some time, because having it for myself was still more convenient than sharing computer with someone else and I didn't care about gaems at that time period. What? Nowadays they can be as decently stronk as their big kin while keeping their portability. Or so I thought. Well, that must be terribly convenient. I'd probably be a shoplifter with an ability like that. Why was I not born a century earlier, boo hoo...

What.

I'm rather ashamed to admit that I don't even remember what are the games that you're talking about now.

> last spoiler

Finished some, like the one where you go into what at first appears to be a dark empty closet, but is not. Got 0.112b patch for 2kki. If 0.113 had eng translation, which really makes for great convenience with so many effects, I'd take that one. Anyway, I guess, we won't need any further updates... In .flow not much fun is left without effects. All I do is keep running into some doom-like monsters. Also saw sequence of scenes in that previously dark last room in the slums, and you know, it does bears some obviously creepy implications. There are also re:in and the looking glass shortcuts on my desktop, where I've found a few effects and a glitch that makes you fast, faster, then faster even, and maybe even faster than light. Forever.

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 No.7021

In re:in I've got three probably most useful pieces so far. The garden has funny animals, such as... no more, no less, flying giraffes! Or better yet, rolling rabbits, though they really do lack individuality. It's as though they all suddenly decided to migrate west. Why west? I don't know. But they forgot that the map is looped. Well, at least they got different sprites. I gathered them together to make them marching on a parade, but then their formation kept breaking for no apparent reason. Then I found the culprit - a silly duckling loafing around into whom their rows kept running. There also is a single black flower which is unreachable... And it's eerie, totally out of place appearance, along with it's inaccessibility, makes me feel like there may be some terrible secret behind it. Further on there are beautiful flying islands with sunflowers, wind turbines and teleports. And then there is a lovely dark tunnel with red water lilies and orange fireflies... with nothing else but traffic cone, sadly. Overall the game is so pretty, so beautiful! And amusing too. I like it.

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 No.7025

Feel tired of everything, as always.

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 No.7026

File: 8c5795114b317de⋯.png (853.18 KB,1200x1758,200:293,2229302670408122024.png)

>>7020

Ah~n. I was sleeping, perhaps a bit too much, and also fighting this pesky apathy of mine while awake. I'm sorry. And, and it's no fun replying without trying that game for yourself, right? Yes. It's absolutely no fun. I had all the time, but still...

SuiSitting.png

Um, nevermind. ~desu

>spoiler 1

Arch? ^ ^

>because having it for myself was still more convenient than sharing computer with someone else

Mmhm, makes sense, I guess.

>Nowadays they can be as decently stronk as their big kin while keeping their portability.

Hmm... Well, for example... Can I at least quickly swap the HDDs in them in the times of need? And won't they burn my house? Ehehe.

>spoiler 2

You probably wouldn't. Because that ability, or rather, that side effect (including the ability to manipulate the unconscious) comes with a price, a huge price. Your heart, your mind. Your conscious. It will be buried, sealed, if not destroyed. You would be a walking, unpredictable, unconscious disaster, thinking with instincts, reflexes, and your unconscious desires. Shoplifting for money? Hah. I doubt it. But you have no third eye to close because of pain and being hated, as you're not a satori youkai, worry not. Interesting. Would you like to be a satori? You... Hmm. I guess not.

>spoiler 3

The Mask of Hope. Nevermind.

>spoiler 4

Touhou Project. Obviously, I guess. Ah, but this really is 2021, not 2011. What am I even talking about... That's right. Sorry.

>Got 0.112b patch for 2kki

>If 0.113 had eng translation, which really makes for great convenience with so many effects, I'd take that one.

Somewhere after that version all of the maps wataru made are gone. It's pretty sad because they were extensive and well made. The depths previously the deepest location in the game and almost everything leading to them were removed for example. Well, I've heard there's like 100+ maps added since wataru's were removed, but unfortunately along with wataru’s maps another authors maps were also removed (flickering lights lab, butterfly forest, underground volcano).

>They were removed because the author is putting them in their own game I think?

>Funny enough I’ve tried their game and haven’t seen hide nor tail of those areas, so who knows what’s up with them.

¯\(°_o)/¯

>All I do is keep running into some doom-like monsters. Also saw sequence of scenes in that previously dark last room in the slums, and you know, it does bears some obviously creepy implications.

Did you get the two previous endings? The first one, just leaving the room after collecting all of the effects, and the second one, after discarding all of the effects into the computer while in flow, becoming Rust, and leaving the room afterwards? From now on, while playing as Rust, you must find three "empty boxes" effects in those, err, dark rooms that you couldn't get into before, while trying not to die. Then go to the elevator that replaces the computer in the flow after the last box is collected. Then go outside... And witness the true ending.

I hope you saved.

>There are also re:in and the looking glass shortcuts on my desktop

Ah, The Looking Glass, huh. Nice, I guess. And "re:in", hmmm... Familiar, but I don't remember it.

>a glitch that makes you fast, faster, then faster even, and maybe even faster than light. Forever.

Hehe, hehehehe!

>>7021

Interesting, very interesting, that looks like fun! I really should try it, I guess. Um... Any more progress? ~deska

>with nothing else but traffic cone

Tsk.

Everyone is too lazy too busу being on 4chan, twatter, that particular board and their chaturbate these days, it seems. ~desu

sigh

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 No.7027

I should not have stopped drinking my herb teas, not for such a long time. Got me turned into a wreck with twitching hands and red eyes again. Darn. Before, I felt like a leopard, albeit a tired one.

>>7026

Hi hi! I was very clearly notified of your reply in my dream. Somehow it happens, yes.

> I had all the time, but still...

So you didn't play it either. And tbh this eyestrain thing isn't making the game much better either IMHO. I didn't actually give a darn about anything happening in the game, I was only preoccupied with not getting the eyestrain while the game kept freezing when I used the ability. Maybe that is also because I myself had some pretty bad eyestrains in the past, I dunno.

> spoiler 1

Yup. At first I got it with KDE, but then I immediately threw this ugly, bulky thing away and instead got one with openbox which I was very happy with.

> Can I at least quickly swap the HDDs in them in the times of need?

Quickly or not, it's possible, though only in bigger models. If something happens within a "mini" one... These are like tablets in this aspect. Though, regarding tablets, even tech services tend to turn their noses on them, especially on cheap ones, which, well, makes sense.

> And won't they burn my house?

Huh?

> spoiler 2

Uh... I guess, you're right.

> spoiler 3

Whatever.

> spoiler 4

Oh. Right. I did guess, but somehow didn't seriously think that you really meant it. And if you ever were curious about my thoughts... Because you just made me remember them. Never mind those manga and anime which started to appear recently (I knew it was bound to happen, yet somehow I was still surprised), everything spinned from the games. And trying to join the festival without playing the games seemed stupid and weeabooish to me. And since I was never interested in bullet hell genre nor did I have confidence in my skill to beat them, I never approached touhou as a whole. And it's russian-speaking "fanbase" on some imageboards didn't give me any good impressions either. Heck, maybe they aren't even actually a fanbase, just a bunch of weeaboos as well. Not that I care. And now, to be even more honest... You just keep stamping very typical danmaku games, with the only original thing being sprites of what the heck, random pretty girls for what you normally thought of as scary, ugly, otherwordly creeps, which reeked of lack of any creativeness and imagination to me, one after another, without putting much thought, for money, yet there is a HUGE fanbase who ate all of this, licked all the plates and is still eager for more. Because of DA GURLS. So I kinda felt that it's lame and turned my nose.

> Somewhere after that version

Yes, that's what I thought as well. They were really great. And it's a bit too much of a blow IMO, hence why "we won't need any further updates".

> Well, I've heard there's like 100+ maps added since wataru's were removed

But maybe I was wrong. 100+ maps must be no joke, after all. But still, they say that the game cannot even be fully and properly "completed" anymore.

> Did you get the two previous endings?

I did. And I recall that there is a room in the basement of the school that wouldn't let me in previously. I should try that one out, I guess. Thanks.

> The Looking Glass, huh.

There must be that bug somewhere within a nearby separate location in the chess area. Although now I don't remember what I did exactly to unexpectedly catch it, but no complicated rituals should've been involved. Then I foolishly overwrote my save... That's why I'm not playing the looking glass now. Maybe sometime again.

> Any more progress? ~deska

Got another piece and then got into a closed location. Ironically, while raincoat piece allows you to open it, it doesn't seem to be actually making you invisible to NPC. But still, you should try running around with it on and active. Then I somehow unlocked the second character. But somewhere around that you also lose ability to save. Since further playing can only be done in one proper sit, I didn't dig much deeper just yet.

> it seems

And it will get only worse globally, of course. But you know yourself, they're peeking at us, including certain some of those whom we may have already forgotten.

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 No.7028

File: 6c417ef292017b7⋯.png (131.68 KB,372x367,372:367,7.PNG)

Today, i turned 29.

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 No.7029

>>7028

I read inexorability from this number. Gotta treat yourself on this occasion, and happy birthday, I guess?

sigh

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 No.7030

File: aa4d742b7efc18a⋯.png (803.45 KB,768x1024,3:4,712484292990198557.png)

Ah, dear Twins, I'm literally freezing. I can't feel my legs. It's been 15 hours. Good thing I still have electricity and tanks of ethanol. Yeah, right, let's waste some more money because of these fucking imbeciles and their leaky pipes, while it's -30°C outside. City of light, city of MAGIC!

>>7028

Oh. Happy happy birthday, I guess!.. Was it happy? I really hope so! ~desu

I really need to get myself together, otherwise it wouldn't be fun. ~dessu

oeoeo

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 No.7031

File: 3916729dc8493c2⋯.png (203.26 KB,626x409,626:409,2020_11_14_16_54_55_24_png….png)

>>7026

>also fighting this pesky apathy of mine while awake.

You are not alone there, apathy has been strong all week. I blame work, coming home tired and exhausted

>Everyone is too lazy too busу being on 4chan, twatter, that particular board and their chaturbate these days, it seems. ~desu

Eh, mostly working, working working, switching between nights and days and nights. Only twatter is easy to post on mobile, but even that hellsite is a bit of a pain.

>>7028

happy belated birthday, hopefully a cause for celebration, I hope.

>>7030

Oh dear, that is no good, pile up piles of blankets on them to warm yourself. An igloo of blankets eheheh.

Is it snowing at least? It is here.

I need to be less lazy, but my legs ache, im not used to so much walking, walking, walking.

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 No.7035

You hold on out there, my friend. I don't want the cold one to be the one to finally get you, that'd be downright ridiculous.

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 No.7036

Oh my gosh. What the heck. Not this crap again. I thought it already said it's goodbye back then. If for him it is like that, but five hundred times worse, then I simply dare not to imagine what it actually must be like. Darn hellish kaleidoscope of absolute, total bullshit, I never ever said that I missed you, hahaha.

I also just want to hope that those imbeciles of his already fixed their shit. For some reason now MY pipes are lukewarm, though not outright cold, and it feels uncomfortable here. Heh. And it's not snowing and melting anymore, making it more like clean, neat autumn, as it should be in this place. No dirty shoes, no slippery ice.

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 No.7037

File: 8efbd882d9cc4cb⋯.gif (2.62 MB,377x560,377:560,87081330_p0.gif)

>>7027

I'm sorry. Sometimes I couldn't even get out of bed, let alone say anything. But I've been verbally talking to the imaginary you all this time, apologizing and trying to explain things. Kind of funny, isn't it? I should do something. I feel I'm shutting down. Perhaps it was a bit too much. But I won't fall back, I guess. It's too late, right? Or not? I... I don't really care anymore, I guess. Right?..

"Nootropic" psychostimulants, dopamine agonists and more benzodiazepines should do it. I hope. I don't want to involve activating antipsychotics. They will require correctors, such as anticholinergics, antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and therefore even more benzodiazepines. And I must quit alcohol and switch metamizole to ketorolac again. But for now, let's just try this "Phenotropil 2: Electric Boogaloo", aka "Nanotropil".

pants

Oh, wow, I finally said something...

Yes, I know. It happens a lot.

>So you didn't play it either.

I did. I meant re:in. Therefore no fun replying. ~desu

>And it will get only worse globally, of course.

I know.

>last spoiler

Maybe.

Any progress?..

Ah. Right. I thought... What if... Um. Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?

>>7031

No amount of blankets can save you when the reinforced concrete walls around you and under you are cooling to subzero temperatures.

>Is it snowing at least?

Almost everyday. ~desu

>>7035

Ridiculous, that's an understatement, I guess. They fixed their shit after a few more hours. But I wasted half a liter of 40% ethanol. I feel cheated.

>>7036

puts his hat on your head

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 No.7038

>>7037

I understand. I do. Late... If you're about yourself, you should know the best. If you're about me, there may be no real difference anymore. But I doubt it'll make either of us happier, especially given that my hands are still as empty as ever. But I want to thank you again. And apologize.

Do be careful with what you're doing, though.

> Any progress?..

Reached through to the third ending. ''Finally'. But everything was so vague for me that I didn't really get anything to speculate on. Aside from a rather general interpretation of her finally succumbing to her own other, insane side, maybe. I also ransacked the other two games and they do not seem to have any endings whatsoever.

> spoiler 3

That's rather vague. Is it about the games? Or is it about project touhou? Even if I did describe it like that, it was really nothing more than lack of interest, and there is no history related. Or is it about me? I do see something, aside from those loads of incomprehensible gibberish. But I don't see her nor any of that bloody mess anymore. I see grey sands under grey skies, thankfully not damn orange void, with nothing else in sight, maybe my sort of n-field. This time I'm not even crawling, just lying almost motionless, neither being able to stand up nor having desire to do so. The sand is so soft and warm, it makes you so cozy, so sleepy. But I know that I will have to move. But... just... a little bit more, ah. There is a lot of what can be taken. Just as long as there is regularity. But it's hard to stay truly awake. The body does many things during the day, a lot of them, but the mind remains mostly asleep. I do wonder how did I manage to pull everything off without messing everything up terribly in this kind of state everyday.

> I feel cheated.

Oh, I do understand that feeling. I do, I do. When all of the worst turns out to be a silly fucking joke and whatever you did or whatever concerns you had had no meaning whatsoever. AGAIN. Is that it?

> last spoiler

Thx. I guess you can take your precious, good hat back now.

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 No.7039

And there is also certain something sleepy cozy within these sands. It's just not it's time yet. I know I must keep crawling all the same, just with more persistence. Oh, my dear.

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 No.7040

And you don't need to feel anxious. We have peace of mind knowing that we all are OK and this also gives us drive to keep going. You may not be a "sleeping beauty", but at least you are "sleepy beauty", gedit gedit?

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 No.7041

Only wanting to know that certain you is all good now.

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 No.7042

But if you need it, if you want it, I definitely don't have anything against it. You only have to know yourself and what is it that you seek for.

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 No.7043

File: 6792d30c6abc071⋯.png (174.32 KB,406x470,203:235,2020_11_07_16_58_27_26_jpg….png)

>>7037

>No amount of blankets can save you when the reinforced concrete walls around you and under you are cooling to subzero temperatures.

I felt cold just reading that. Please try to stay warm however you can.

I am glad your heating is fixed. Sorry about the ethanol though. Do you only have so much for winter, or do you have to buy more?

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 No.7044

>>7037

its rare these days to see a nice gif

especially RM-related

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 No.7045

File: 003221f0b74667d⋯.jpg (1.42 MB,1242x1764,69:98,654742409075966061.jpg)

It works. Alright.

>>7038

I really think it's the other way around. ^ ^

>But I doubt it'll make either of us happier

And that's where I lose the thread. Nevertheless, are you sure about that? And you can experience happiness if the conditions are met. And you can't hurt me anymore, you know.

>my hands are still as empty as ever.

It's like my hands are like a cornucopia or something.

Again. Why?.. And "apologize"... Is that what I think it is? Nevermind. I'm in a completely emotionless state, so I may misinterpret your words. I'm sorry.

>Do be careful with what you're doing, though.

If it's going to kill me, it's not gonna be today, I guess.

>Aside from a rather general interpretation of her finally succumbing to her own other, insane side, maybe.

What about her real physical illiness/ her unconscious side? Especially the first.

>Is it about the games? Or is it about project touhou? Or is it about me?

I'd say it was about me. Or more like about us, maybe. I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel a pinch of something I can't really comprehend. And quickly lose it.

>I do see something, aside from those loads of incomprehensible gibberish.

I see an orange planet in a dying red light. It has giant four-dimensional rings. It's infinitely large and infinitely small, and it's also infinitely far and infinitely close. It's lonely out there. I know. Just like here. Here it became completely empty and dead. And very lonely. The snow turns into opaque black glass and shatters. The body hurts and doesn't want to move, the mind fades. I'm trying to do something, say something, feel something. But I can't. I can't. I can't even feel the rage or sadness from it. I'm just floating into oblivion, digging through my dead and repressed memories, trying to evoke whatever feeling I should have had from them. This shouldn't have happened. But I don't know what's wrong, I don't know what to do anymore.

>I see grey sands under grey skies

Comfy.

>Is that it?

It is.

>Thx.

I really hope that you don't hate it.

>>7039

Huh...

>>7040

I don't feel anxious. I only feel that something is wrong, something is missing. And it seems that even They were recently disconnected from me. Or rather, more likely, I was disconnected from everyone by my own uncontrollable repressions. sigh

>>7041

^ ^

. . .

>>7042

I've already said that. It's up to you, not me. It's all up to you...

>>7043

>Sorry about the ethanol though. Do you only have so much for winter, or do you have to buy more?

I'm sorry, what? I just drank a lot of vodka for no good reason as it turned out later, and had a hangover as a bonus. Nothing more. ~desu

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 No.7046

>>7045

> spoiler 1

Again, you gave me some invaluable experience and shattered my strange delusions. And... this one is retrospective, not "I apologize for what I'm about to do to you" kind, ahem.

> If it's going to kill me, it's not gonna be today, I guess.

Mice pillage granary seed after seed, y'know. But people pay no heed to this proverb.

>What about her real physical illiness/ her unconscious side? Especially the first.

Again, the data is insufficient. Just what kind of physical illness it should be? Well, yes, there is this leg amputation, but this alone is not enough. Then there is "healing" through eating cakes, which, in my opinion, indicates that some issues are related to mentality. It may be something similar to yours, but not necessarily. And it's rather unlikely to be some sort of post-accident condition, at least no clues point in this direction.

>I'd say it was about me.

Silly me. But... tell. Well. You must be lost and confused, now that there isn't anything left. And your gaze likely being directed into the past doesn't help it either. Things fade away without actuality and replenishment, which is true for everyone. Welcome to your own inner void. Again. It may take a while before you catch onto something. If only you'll wish to. But the scenery is not very bright, indeed. Let us observe it together, maybe?...

>spoiler 3

Never hated it before, more so now knowing what it's for.

> I only feel that something is wrong, something is missing. And it seems that even They were recently disconnected from me. Or rather, more likely, I was disconnected from everyone by my own uncontrollable repressions.

Oh boy. I hope that it's temporary and they will manage to reach out to you. And there may be some explanations. Maybe you really did forget something important?...

>last spoiler

Now it's more like we're playing the game of throwing a ball... I thought that at least you knew better than I myself did: this one-sided kind of attitude will not work. hugs and releases We're not in a rush. I myself am not. But I can see that it, no, you, shouldn't be left hanging like this. So, take my hand now.

I have so much to learn, so much to do... I just hope this year I will not... nevermind.

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 No.7047

File: 9e51a2e1372fba7⋯.png (65.16 KB,450x450,1:1,make_it_stop.png)

It works, a little too well, I'd say... So much anger and irritation. The vivid hallucinations returned. Well, at least that's something.

a few hours later

...Let's just say I'm very tired.

>>7046

You give me too much credit. And I... I apologize.

>Mice pillage granary seed after seed, y'know. But people pay no heed to this proverb.

I know. But I said "today". I'm not too sure about tomorrow, you know. I should have said "unfortunately" instead of "I guess" to avoid misunderstandings, I guess.

>Again, the data is insufficient. Just what kind of physical illness it should be?

What about the whole hospital thing, the doctor, ill and dead kids, Oreko, sick little Sabi in a bed, blood splatters and strange machinery in her "real" room, that area, exploding black-haired girls and fetus-like demons in there, Cleaners in gasmasks, the Kaibutsu, that event with her... "Mother"? Interesting variants of more literal metaphors come to mind. Just think about all that mess. ~desu

>Then there is "healing" through eating cakes, which, in my opinion, indicates that some issues are related to mentality.

I'm leaning more towards this interpretation, too. But why not try to combine both?

>Welcome to your own inner void. Again. It may take a while before you catch onto something.

So, you mean, like, another inner void inside of my inner void, I suppose? Something, huh...

>Let us observe it together, maybe?...

If you've really forgiven me, if you really care...

closes eyes

Why not.

>Never hated it before, more so now knowing what it's for.

Thank you. I really, really appreciate it. ~desu

>I hope that it's temporary and they will manage to reach out to you.

The connection is there, albeit weak, nonverbal. "Side effects"... No, the main culprit lies in me, in my ill unconscious desires, I know that for sure, me and only me.

>spoiler 3

Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. That's the problem, I guess.

>We're not in a rush. I myself am not.

>So, take my hand now.

And you, you take mine... And don't leave it...

Just tell me, please... Should I wake up the hobo?

...Or I should just drink some acetone for bone relaxation, shouldn't I?

Or am I very wrong again and you would like to feed the owls?..

You decide.

>last spoiler

You do have, my dear. You shouldn't. But if you... Only after me, okay? Or I will never forgive you.

I'm so tired. I'm sorry for this incomprehensible silly mess. ~desu

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 No.7048

File: c909e798e8714a2⋯.jpg (2.52 MB,1645x1405,329:281,8581613171335357818.jpg)

Oh well. I spent 21 hours non-stop on this post.

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 No.7049

File: 365427f06341008⋯.jpg (2.33 MB,2039x1378,2039:1378,86954823_p0.jpg)

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 No.7050

Sitting and listening to pop music. La-la-la la-la la la-a-a la la-a-a. La-la la la-a-a. La-la la la-a-a. That is to stay awake. rattle rustle hustle rattle rustle hustle rattle rustle hustle

>>7048

You're doing it wrong. But so do I. Maybe... Maybe you really should try and rest. You're not cast out of iron. sigh

>>7047

Damn. It must be hard to find balance, I know as well. From one bother to another.

>Just think about all that mess. ~desu

The scenes, the woman, the hospital, many things roughly outline her suffering environment. Though her room... feels strangely out of the picture, perhaps, she must have been discharged for quite some time already. sigh

>spoiler 3

Combining, huh. I'm used to combining things. Why not indeed. The question is what goes with what, though.

>Something, huh...

Feel me alien. Feel free to do so. Did I not tell you? I only have one dream. Everything else was thrown away, because I am not foolish enough anymore to keep chasing after wild geese. I know this also must be fake, but so what. At least enough to keep my damn self engaged overall. I now understand what Kirakishou must have felt, haha. Oh, poor Kirakishou. But that goes aside for now. I suppose, the concept itself, not just my particular case, will remain irrelevant. Not entirely. Maybe. I don't know.

>If you've really forgiven me, if you really care...

Forgiven... what for. I do care, though.

>Thank you. I really, really appreciate it. ~desu

All is good that makes better. All of my stuff was destroyed and disposed of long ago. That's why I'm like that, I guess. Sorry...

>No, the main culprit lies in me, in my ill unconscious desires, I know that for sure, me and only me.

Then, I believe, it's bound to come around... Don't do anything unnecessary anymore. What is worthy and what is unworthy? This direction of logic is quick to reveal flaws. Even when it's not about logic at all.

>And you, you take mine... And don't leave it...

>Just tell me, please...

>Or am I very wrong again

You ś͐̎ͬ́̅ͬh̙̝̃͛̿̑̽ͦ̔͞o̶̦̟̮̥̰̹̺̅̀̎́̍͐ͥuͯ͏͚̩͉̖͎͖̭l̤̖̝̺ͭ͐̎͒̀͘͞d̻̮̖̟͉̎ͣ̽ͬ͂͊ ͓̩̟͇̬̗̹ͮ̌̓ͣ̽̿ͧ̑n̺̦̟̦͓͉͕͖̮̐ͯ̑͟ơ͍̱̞̜͉̦̫ͩ͗̚͡ṫ̋͐͆҉̼̳͓̭̱̮.͖̻́̔̒̉̒̽ͯͣ̚͞ ̧̧̣̣͈͔̼͇͆͂̂I̵̺͇̬͎̖̖͂͒͆͝ 1̴̈͒͊̍̈́̃̊̊̎̿̑̓͐ͭͮ̀̑̔͡҉̛̜̬̲͔͇̰̤̼̹͔̩ͅ0̴̨̼̩̲̜͎͈̲ͩ͒͌ͮ̆̆ͬͨ̄́̓́̍̑ͅ5̸̧̧̛̣̖̦̯̬̱͈̘̭̥͔̙̋̋̍̍͒̽͂͊̈́̈́̾̉ͪ̏̀3̸̡̪͉͎̼̟̞̜̯̗̂ͪ̓ͨ͜͞ ̡̨͍̤̭̥͂͊͛͊ṛ̟̠̙̠̎̂̀͌̑ͬ̋̕e͊̂ͯ҉̺̩̼͕̞̩̫̯à̴̳̗̟̹̤͎͂͒͒̏̑̾̀͝l̨̬̟̭̩ͬͭ̊̊ͦ ͤ͜y̸̯̱̭͕ͥ̉̍͛ͦ͆o̴̼̝͇̝̜̓̏͋̽̐u̳͉͊̓͡ ͔̭̪̈́̄̐̋̀ͅr͆ͥȇ̊͏̤̟̯ḛ̘̬̤̘̼̅ͫ̀͆̐̌̕k͚̯̳̗̞̽ͩ̿̌͂̄̐͝ing b̙̗̖̺͇̓ͨ͌l̤̱̓̐̓ͯ̏ǫ̖̯̅͗̐ͣod, alcohol, cigarettes and medicine, not some special subset, to begin with. And this isn't going to help us today. Let us not disturb the sleeping. caresses your hand

>last spoiler

Even if I wanted to, I can't blame you for this... Several years ago, I almost froze to near death once, or even twice, if I stretch this, you know. And not because I wanted to. You must know well yourself. That's what I meant. Oh, that city was so, so much colder...

Things keep tumbling down from my mind. I keep forgetting everything. It's such a pity. Must be because there still is no proper system in place. I guess, I should try collecting crap together again.

And you. Maybe you should not try keeping it on track forcefully? Just say what you think, if you wish to, and don't, if you don't.

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 No.7052

File: 1623198daccfeb2⋯.jpg (462.04 KB,1632x1888,51:59,4821814997477301252.jpg)

>>7050

>Damn. It must be hard to find balance, I know as well. From one bother to another.

It may not be necessary anymore. We just identified the problem and got rid of it. Thank you. Negative symptoms, the head slowly and painfully turning into a supernova, and drug post-effects remain, but there is little that can be done about it.

>perhaps, she must have been discharged for quite some time already.

But was she really discharged?

>Feel me alien. Feel free to do so. Did I not tell you? I only have one dream.

Sure. I do. You're almost as alien to me as anyone else. You feel. You have a dream. And you have your self. "Haha", indeed.

>Don't do anything unnecessary anymore.

Oh, I won't, you can be sure of that. ~desu

>Let us not disturb the sleeping.

This is not sleeping. Don't you notice that funny smell? It's not like there's much difference, I guess.

>spoiler train

I'm sure you know about the current state of my memory. Moreover, you didn't even tell me anything about that. Either you didn't really trust me even during that time, or you're a liar. I don't know, and I don't want to know.

>Maybe you should not

Maybe. Maybe not. I don't really care.

>Just say what you think

Everything is better with ice cream. But I disagree with that.

>if you wish to,

I don't wish to.

>and don't, if you don't.

But if I do say, does that mean that I do wish, even if I really don't wish at all?

Sorry for the delay, been reading all those conversations and old threads again. Why? Classified information! ~desu

I also really need to reread my "old" dream diary. And maybe start a new one. We must return to our roots before the end comes. But more importantly, I want to remember and understand my dreams the same way I used to. Now this is especially important, I guess, because a lot of things that were formerly part of the conscious were dumped there. And at some point I realized that I can livе there like I did before, years ago. That there's always someone waiting for me there. That I can be happy there. This empty plastic "reality" feels more artificial, fake and dreamlike than the dream world itself, and I've said it countless times, I guess.

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 No.7053

File: 53ca121b40c3f55⋯.jpg (3.4 MB,2144x2240,67:70,2128093760290724621.jpg)

I haven't told you any dreams for a long time, I guess.

I had a rather unusual dream today. Very, very unique. I haven't even been killed. I don't remember all the nightmares and scenes before that, but after escaping from a place where space itself was screaming and trying to crush me, I saw that the snow was bright as day, although it was "night". Amber streetlights were lit, and in the middle of a snowfield stood the tree under which I had first met that girl two decades ago. Next to it was a concrete cube that had some kind of rusty terminal on it. I looked at the screen and started to explain to you why I was gone for so long, but you just hugged me and asked something about me being cold. Kirafag was smiling and making jokes, about us, I guess, but suddenly he got serious, but with kind attitude, and asked if I found what I was looking for. I think I just said no. Tulpadesu said that it's alright, smoked, and began to tell the story of his travels or something, mentioning that Boatlights and co were somewhere nearby playing blackjack(?) at The City's Center, I suppose, I was so excited and happy to hear it, someone started setting off fireworks, I saw #07 and #12 in gasmasks. I gave Barafag my knife for some reason. I don't remember. We went for a walk. The dirty snow didn't sink under our feet. I started complaining and asking you something, but you interrupted me and said that I was never alone, and the things you told me last year were just a bad dream. Don't remember how, but shortly after that I found myself in a truck with Kanaria driving, going somewhere from a huge gas station that more resembled a train station. We were talking about something. I thought we were heading downtown, to The Center, but we were flying past concrete geometric shapes and apartment buildings. As I flew past the pseudo-endless parkway leading to the Dream City Outskirts, I think I noticed Monoedesu and Bokufag greeting me in the company of Yakui and some other faceless maid, probably returning somewhere from that giant house. Right after the Amber Darkness desert, I found myself on some chaoticly placed railways in the middle of an evergreen forest, the snow was somehow still present, and the grass was gray. I've never been here before, I guess. Suddenly, Gin. I don't recall her ever leaving The City Skyscraper and surrounding areas. At least she wasn't smoking. I barely remember anything, but she gave me my knife and I got on her railcar Kettenkrad thing, and we rode over the railroad bridges across some very big misty lake. She was being silent, sometimes sighing and throwing screws and nuts into the water. A little bit strange. As expected, there was no Magic Forest or Flower Field at the end of the path. But there was a pebble beach illuminated by daylight. And water. A river, or a sea. Ocean maybe. I was alone, except for a crude wooden boat. All of a sudden, orange and yellow leaves began to fall from the sky. Everywhere. Suiseiseki pointed to the horizon and said that I have always wanted to go there. I sat down on the side of the boat and looked at the horizon. She sat down next to me. "If you go there, you will not be able to return." Don't know why, but I nodded. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I nodded again. I don't think I've ever seen such clouds in the dream world. But it wasn't the clouds that bothered me so much. You know, you remember, I guess. I slid off the boat, laid down on the pebbles and curled up. The pebbles were moving. The leaves kept falling. I turned my head and saw beautiful red-green eyes. "????, ???? ???? ?" I woke up to a loud and sharp noise in the heating system. Completely exhausted.

That's it. I can't remember anything more. Sorry.

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 No.7054

>>7052

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N8OF3nE-zM

>But was she really discharged?

I guess so. At least temporarily. Because it's the invariable starting point from which you begin guiding her actions.

>Sure. I do. You're almost as alien to me as anyone else. You feel. You have a dream. And you have your self. "Haha", indeed.

I'm not so sure about "self" part. But why... do I keep feeling sort of disapproval from you on this? Or are you, perhaps, jealous? What? Of this? Of this cheap, plastic sort of thing? Ha ha. What's there to... It's not something I can't abandon. From a perspective, it's just that it doesn't hurt or get in the way, and otherwise there would be an ugly hole on the wallpaper. Now I feel that I even insulted myself. I used to cherish it very, very much, you know. But such is reality. sigh Whatever.

>This is not sleeping. Don't you notice that funny smell? It's not like there's much difference, I guess.

You should know better. Again. I told you, in the first place, I thought it'd make you feel better. But then you proved me wrong. Also, that you did tell me of the source in the domain of the keeper.

>I'm sure you know about the current state of my memory. Moreover, you didn't even tell me anything about that. Either you didn't really trust me even during that time, or you're a liar. I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Yep. I'm very certain that I never did. Simply because I didn't feel like doing so? Nor necessary nor actual. What I meant is that you should know how it goes and feels. Because if you don't, I'm gonna be surprised, excuse me for the offense. But WAIT a sec. I just realized, you probably doubly misunderstood me. Those happened long before I met you and everything. But to hell with it then, I ain't happy either.

Oh, well. Back then you did use to prefer silence to needless buzzing and you didn't hesitate to tell me of it. I feel like we understood each other better back then. Or is my feeling wrong?

Your delays are rather quite brief, thank you very much. If that so matters to you.

I wish you good luck with that. I do wonder just how much of everything did you bury in there. And what it should feel like to experience it again. Interesting. And yes, I do remember it very well. Even if I keep annoying you with my obviously contradicting suggestions.

He he. You're more like a hedgehog now. Wanna caress your prickles.

>>7053

Oh wow. Starting reading...

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 No.7055

>>7053

It feels unique. And interesting.

You even remember this kind of thing from such a long time... Like some particular tree.

So many people. So many lights...

Who are these #?

Did I wear a respirator too?

>in a truck with Kanaria driving

I guess I know who's that.

>pseudo-endless

Huh? I guess, it must, like, appear curly, endless in itself, but not really be.

>probably returning somewhere from that giant house

Do they suffer there?

>I've never been here before, I guess.

I wonder if you'll be again.

>railcar Kettenkrad

Hehehe, I wanna ride it! I really feel like I do! Uguuu~

Leaves... Leaves....

Pebbles. Did they move under you?

This is amazing. So amazing. Thank you, thank you so much for sharing it with me! ~desuyo

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 No.7056

> suffer this

> suffer that

frowns

Now I see that it isn't actually me. Heck.

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 No.7057

^^

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 No.7059

I've read it for n times. It really feels as though there is a long story of it's own behind every detail. Good you.

It was snowing these days. The winter has finally reached our city too. And passed by.

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 No.7060

File: 4bfab6794a1e11e⋯.png (88.49 KB,297x249,99:83,2021_01_16_16_00_17_10_png….png)

>>7045

>I'm sorry, what? I just drank a lot of vodka for no good reason as it turned out later, and had a hangover as a bonus. Nothing more. ~desu

Oh wow, how did I not realize you meant alcohol, silly me.

>>7053

What a long and twisting dream! I am somewhat envious you have such long dreams, with so many people. are you still at odds with kirafag?

Its snowing again here, and oh so pretty. I no longer must drive through it for work, so I can appreciate it more again. Hooray.

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 No.7061

File: 64ee6f29df772c6⋯.jpg (1.15 MB,828x1104,3:4,3989602216004195415.jpg)

Ah, please, just a little bit more...

Zzz...

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 No.7062

>>7061

Спи, моя радость, усни!

Жёлтым горят фонари;

Рыщут собаки в снегу,

Лёд покрывает реку.

Мрачно безглазый глядит,

Дом, что уже не сгорит,

Ветер всё в окнах гудит,

Стёкла тайком серебрит.

Пусть тебя дворник не злит,

Что метлой во дворе шелестит,

Глазки скорее сомкни,

Спи, моя радость, усни!

Будет ли небо ярко да красно,

Или опять, как вчера, в серебро,

Разницы нет, ведь ты не глядишь,

Во тьме и покое тихо лежишь.

Пьяные песни поют во дворе,

Но до них есть ли дело тебе?

Глазки скорее сомкни,

Спи, моя радость, усни!

Тихо, мирно, мой друг, ты живи,

И того, чего нет, зря не ищи,

Всё вселенная знает и бдит,

Ни секунды не дремлет, не спит,

Ты ж себя лишний раз не мори,

Белый снег и траву у реки,

И знакомых увидишь в ночи!

Спи, моя радость, усни!

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 No.7063

File: 9c1ee40a2bcf07c⋯.jpg (67.98 KB,598x1024,299:512,5d76fc74b2f20d310b71ca25c7….jpg)

munch munch munch

oh btw

How do you all do?

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 No.7064

File: b46cd923ba44af9⋯.png (56.87 KB,206x289,206:289,16.PNG)

>>7063

doing good friend, very lazy doll. Overall a new chapter for gintoic. How are you?

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 No.7065

File: eeae9dcbbbf81be⋯.png (136.07 KB,324x405,4:5,2021_01_09_15_40_03_5_png_….png)

>>7063

my back hurts. too much bending at work i swear. hopefully I wont have to bend so much soon.

I finished screencaps of rm0 finally, I will have to zip it all up and post it later.

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 No.7066

File: cc673f8b9aa67e0⋯.png (135.28 KB,344x344,1:1,2020_12_27_00_32_56_20_png….png)

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 No.7067

File: fc07785a0acba6d⋯.jpg (142.5 KB,620x876,155:219,f250e0bfe9492298cf56dfbd3d….jpg)

>>7064

going little by little towards my goals, sometimes not at all

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 No.7070

File: f0e4a10b3ab74b5⋯.jpg (535.23 KB,1000x1300,10:13,2338757094530078552_2.jpg)

Ah, a new high score. Spent a whole week trying to make a short reply. This week has been a disaster. The apathy was shutting me down despite the stimulants. And the stims strengthened the emotionless state, reducing stress, but worsening the negative symptoms, like the apathy. It's a vicious cycle. Sleep, drug up, stare at the screen, burn out, sleep. It's like smashing against a wall and kicking dead whales down the beach. Well, at least I got a lot of sleep and dreams, I guess. Today I decided to increase the dose twice without dividing it. And so far, it seems to be working. The phases of anger and silly behavior have passed, I guess it's time to try to say something...

>>7054

>I guess so. At least temporarily. Because it's the invariable starting point from which you begin guiding her actions.

Right. Some could say that from a certain perspective that doesn't explain the ending, but... Yeah.

>But why... do I keep feeling sort of disapproval from you on this?

I don't remember. No, seriously. ¯\(°_o)/¯

>I told you, in the first place, I thought it'd make you feel better. But then you proved me wrong.

...Let's stop talking about it.

>I do wonder just how much of everything did you bury in there.

Well, enough for the remaining lifetime, I guess.

>You're more like a hedgehog now.

Ah, hedgehog now. But of course...

>>7055

I guess...

>You even remember this kind of thing from such a long time... Like some particular tree.

I'll never forget such things, I guess.

>Who are these #?

A couple of desufags from a bygone era.

>spoiler

Probably. Probably not. I don't know. The silhouettes were very abstract and blurry. You know, it's more about "colors" and feels.

>I guess I know who's that.

Me too.

>Huh? I guess, it must, like, appear curly, endless in itself, but not really be.

Not really. It's more like a straight alley going down, you can walk down it for a very long time, the snow is getting less, and there are more trees and decorations, and the path is becoming more populated. I'm not sure where this leads, or if it leads anywhere at all. But you can just get around it and find yourself in densely built-up and populated area. That's where the house is. I thought I destroyed it during an armed confrontation with Long-nosed thugs a long time ago, but it appears intact. I haven't been inside since that event though. Maybe I was there during a bizarre stealth event under the guidance of Bokufag, but I'm not sure if this was that place.

>Do they suffer there?

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. That time when I leveled this place, the inhabitants were held captive. But I've seen those two around that place more than once. In a place nearby, one of them was helping me investigate something and providing fire support, that time when I found that inhumane and atrocious silent double-barrelled flechette gun that was firing 2mm steel needles, causing a horrid and agonizing death to its victims for some strange reason. It never missed a target, unlike the absolutely useless firearms and other kinetic ranged weapons. I guess you remember. Damn, I miss it a lot actually. However, now, in addition to the knife, various junk and razor-sharp playing cards, I sometimes have my handheld laser in my pocket. Rarely, but still. Activating it causes everyone to flee, so I guess its beam is very deadly. Well, I hope so. Given that the speed of light there seems to be unlimited most of the time (I guess?) eww, what a mindfuck, it shouldn't miss. ~desu

>I wonder if you'll be again.

I hope I will. I can't help feeling that I've missed something.

>Hehehe, I wanna ride it! I really feel like I do! Uguuu~

It was pretty long ride, to be honest. Maybe even boring. But meditative. I guess that event was directed by Tarkovsky. But yeah, it was very interesting experience.

>Leaves... Leaves....

Yes, it was as if autumn had suddenly arrived in the middle of summer in a world of eternal winter. Weird, just like always. ~desu

>Pebbles. Did they move under you?

Not only under me. They were moving everywhere.

>Thank you, thank you so much for sharing it with me! ~desuyo

^ ^

>>7056

Hehe. Sorry. I'll disable that, it's just too silly, I guess.

>>7059

It isn't really that great.

>It really feels as though there is a long story of it's own behind every detail.

That dream was something more long and complex, but I can't remember all of it for obvious reasons.

By the way, I remembered who the girl with the bright white hair was. I don't know who she is, but she has appeared in my dreams many times before. A record from three and a half years ago says she even has a name. Hmm.

I'm sorry I kept you waiting. How are you? How are your dreams, games, well, you know?..

>>7060

I don't know. I myself am not, I guess. Better ask him, I guess. But I doubt he'd care. Why would he? If I were him, like, him, I probably wouldn't, I guess. I don't know. I just hope he's all right and has forgotten about me...

>It was snowing these days. The winter has finally reached our city too. And passed by.

>Its snowing again here, and oh so pretty. I no longer must drive through it for work, so I can appreciate it more again.

It's snowing almost everyday here. Not to mention it was -40°C outside these days.

Update: I guess it's a little warmer now, but it looks like it's very windy outside. But I don't want to try it on myself. ~desu

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 No.7071

File: 47888803806e50a⋯.jpg (807.54 KB,1296x1812,108:151,87338163_p0.jpg)

>>7062

Это для меня?.. Спасибо...

<3

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 No.7072

File: 0fa60d0407b9f62⋯.jpg (800.6 KB,1440x1550,144:155,2200083523591137665_2.jpg)

>>7063

I'm trying to sleep and trying not to sleep at the same time! ~desu

Very fun

>>7066

Uh... Thank you very much. ~desu

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 No.7073

File: be47aa20416b2d0⋯.png (8.21 KB,282x233,282:233,Ese462SUcAAOlHt.png)

>>7070

I think he's doing okay, but I wont trouble him about it for now. Maybe if I stop by his thread sometime, but the threads he's in are too fast paced for me to keep up with ehehe

Today was supposed to have snow storms, but instead it was nice and temperate, and not very windy even. Snow on the ground but not in the sky ehehehe. It feels good out.

I hope the weather stays like this.

>>7072

You are welcome ^^

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 No.7074

This entire January gone literally nowhere just like that. Nothing new, but... I will probably never ever get used to such a thing.

>>7070

Sorry for the delay, if… anything. I was somewhat chaotic recently.

> I don't remember. No, seriously. ¯\(°_o)/¯

Alright then.

> Ah, hedgehog now. But of course…

Just remembered certain bokufag who used to own one. Such a kind, good bokufag... And he spoke pretty interesting things, too.

> A couple of desufags from a bygone era.

You remember all those people and things… and assign them marks. That's you.

> spoiler 1

Ah, I get that. And do you have sort of more or less definite color spectrum or table or wheel?

> Not really. It's more like

You must have came upon this alley later, right?… And from your words it seems to be yet another stable... vicinity. Wanted to say "connection", but maybe this term would appear vulgar to you. You say those events happened long ago for you… I wonder how much longer ago it was for them. Should try asking them about time related things sometimes. To see if there is any… correlation or pattern.

> I can't help feeling that I've missed something.

Is it related to the place?

> I guess that event was directed by Tarkovsky.

His most known work, right? When I think of it, I do miss this particular feeling of not needing to get anywhere in the world. Just sitting and watching… or not watching. Peacefully. Knowing that we'll be there when we'll be there anyway. And the place on it's own and by itself may feel magical too.

> Weird, just like always. ~desu

That's a sort of microclimate typical for a dreamworld, not that uncommon, I suppose.

> Not only under me. They were moving everywhere.

I mean… did you feel them with your spine or sides? Must be pretty uncomfortable. Did similar things happen before?

> silent double-barrelled flechette gun

I do remember. Didn't try to get it back anyhow? Lasers and stuff are good, but… the more the better? Though I wouldn't be too greedy in dreamworld either, perhaps there may be consequences. And, though your laser must be a wicked, dreadful weapon, it still sounds somewhat funny for silly me.

> By the way, I remembered who the girl with the bright white hair was.

So… So that's how it is. Huh. You once told me about memory girl in the spring realm, was that perhaps her?

> spoiler 3

Huh… It's been neither useful nor healthy week. Hopefully, I'll be able to return to "normal mode". And as expected, during it I saw many things in my dreams. Much was forgotten instantly, unfortunately. But I felt that something… failed to get through? I don't know how to describe it. What's prominent is that much of happening took place in sewers. I kept moving somewhere, and not only me. But I saw, sometimes through sort of pavement glass, sometimes through grates, that there is real winter on the surface. Winter city, factories or something. Do you have sometimes this strange feeling that, when certain something is there, it is not there for you, but when it is away, you can feel state of things around it much nearer and neater. You can… smell it's traces much better.

I don't know if milestones are deceitful or if such is my nature. Didn't play, just pushed, no, kicked a thing of mine with foot, among other things. Now I want to get back. Still no system, no order. Or should I just kick my stool and give it a rest too...

> weather

Weather here changes frequently and unpredictably… visually. Snow, rain, fog, sun, whatever. But it doesn't really affects real conditions, even slippery ice doesn't appear anymore. -40 and below sounds somewhat dreadful to me right now, even though I was used to it.

Feeling sleepy, which is only natural.

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 No.7075

File: 791b1008d756e31⋯.jpg (383.06 KB,1080x1626,180:271,63366942_p0.jpg)

>>7072

>87338163

this doesnt sound healthy

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 No.7076

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 No.7077

>>7076

i didint mean to paste ">87338163", sorry

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 No.7078

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Kz3s5zul0

It's rather regular one, but I think I gotta reciprocate neverthless.

I was swimming in a deep, dark sea of horrendous rotten water again. I kept struggling and vomiting as my vomit kept enveloping me. Throughout that time many irrelevant things kept showing up or barely flashing in my mind. Memories and worries, maybe, and plain inane rubbish. Gradually feeling of water was receding and I felt more like I'm lying in a bed or more like sleeping bag full of sweat, dirt, vomit and some blood. I myself began feeling my strongly aching skin that was coming off and bleeding pus as I stirred in the feeling of suffocation. This all took longer time that it may sound. At some point I was no longer feeling that I'm lying in a bag, but sitting, holding my heavy head so as to not to fall again. I sat in a dining hall near my bag or whatever I was sleeping in. There was dirt and water from the streets everywhere. I can't clearly remember what I was doing, should have been trying to find some of my stuff around the place, but then I found myself in the kitchen. I took out my list to read it, I checked a refrigerator and shelves for something. There was a lot of food in the kitchen, but all of it was rotten. There were many stools and chairs that were blocking doorways and I felt too weak to remove them. I stumbled across few lifeless, long ago rotten bodies with mutilated faces, which I for some reason presumed to be the work of a certain virus. That's why, despite how hot and sweaty I felt in my garb, I did not considering taking anything, including my mask or gloves, off myself even for a second. There were mice everywhere, even in the mouth of some body. I was surprised by them, because I saw these mice in many other of my dreams before, but almost always, as far as I remember, they were dead, often flattened and spread out underfoot. But these guys were very lively and apparently unhappy about my intrusion. A distant bell kept quietly but ceaselessly ringing in background. Also, rusty water about which I felt thankful for not getting into my boots, because I felt sick even without wet feet. I found some books in the lower shelves, but they were already destroyed by water. I saw this and cursed. I wanted to use an elevator. It didn't work. And I felt thankful about this, because in my dreams I for some reasons do not like to use elevators. But when I went out of elevator, if I recall correctly, I must found myself elsewhere neverthless...

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 No.7079

The body was too long.

I was moving through sewers. Climbing ladders, walking and jumping on and off big pipes, knocking down boards, etc. I even had to swim on an improvised raft. And I kept encountering that area with the non-working elevator, though I didn't specifically recognize it or paid it any attention. I was looking up pretty often, and pretty often saw white light or grey sky outside or big houses, through pavement glass windows and grates that were quite high. I was even able to "lift up" my view point to an extent and look just a little bit further. Everything seemed blurry, almost illusory, yet it felt more real and familiar. At some point I came upon what they exaggeratedly call "city", a site of homeless, with tents and beds here and there, but without people. Everything seemed dirty and long abandoned. Concrete and metal floor was no more, only wet soil with puddles. Then it was more like real city underground, like metro or something, rooms with terminals and shops, etc, but it seemed to be long abandoned as well. Neverthless, I went into a pharmacy, with no seller inside, of course. Since no one was there to obstruct me and since I felt it was all mine anyway, I rummaged through shelves without holding back and with great satisfaction. Somewhere shortly after that I was in a big underground greenhouse. I felt familiar with it. It was a serene, beautiful place, and had brighter illumination in contrast to the preceding sewers, yet I somehow forgot much of what I saw in there. There were many people and I even talked with some of them. And unfortunately for me, all of the herbs were behind bullet-proof glass. I could have broke it anyway if I wanted to, but I was too mesmerized by some of the plants inside to realize it. One plant, in an emphasized case on a high pedestal, had especially deep, profound religious meaning, and a man in top hat, seemingly a tour guide, explained one of biblical stories related to it. As I drew more attention to it, I found myself near altars with many similar plants. I was in a big underground chapel of a sort, with windows with stained glass being the only source of light in the big dark hall, and without anyone else in sight. I heard a beautiful deep choir. It felt like a stop among all worldly dirt. And there, in the chapel, I had a special personal experience including a dialogue with an unknown entity. But I can't properly narrate it nor it's contents. I found myself in an underground library during it. When I tried to browse through it, to my horror, the library quickly turned out to be abandoned and dilapidated, and GREAT HORDES of those mice were swarming in it. I once again found myself in a dirty and contagious place. As the mice swarmed, I found that it was actually the sewers and then the kitchen from the beginning, but with remnants of godlessly destroyed, rotten books around the place. Neverthless, in somebody's jacket I found two or three books whose titles I was able to read and knew well, carefully packaged in transparent plastic bags, and I gladly took them. I took out a plastic bag from my own pocket, but sadly, all of the herbs inside were already very dark and wilted. I ruefully stroked my list. I scuffled around the place and did some other things. I ended up getting into my dirty sleeping bag again. I tossed around and felt sick inside of it, of course. I also saw glowing screen of my computer. It lasted for some time. And I woke up, pretty tired, but sober. There was more, but I can't properly remember those other things or scenes that took places in or between. But the feeling of plague and sickness and foulness reigning over never left. And from time to time there were more personal monologues with meaning of varying depth as well.

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 No.7080

File: 3ad4c43a15ff2a9⋯.jpg (1.36 MB,1500x1153,1500:1153,87632043_p0.jpg)

Raising the dose once again.

>>7074

>Just remembered certain bokufag who used to own one.

I remember him as well, I guess. Interesting things, huh?..

>You remember all those people and things… and assign them marks.

I, the Ninth, didn't assign any marks to the Seventh and Twelfth.

>And do you have sort of more or less definite color spectrum or table or wheel?

I should have said "smells", I guess. This is much more complicated and incomprehensible than ordinary synesthesia, because it is not a color (if a color, then unknown to the human eye), not a smell, not a taste, not a sound, it is something completely different. This is information encoded in an abstract feeling. Remember the "color/smell" of that white-haired girl I briefly described not so long ago? This is not some bullshit like auras, color-coded "body/soul energetics" or, ugh, I don't know, the original description of The Force Sight. But yes, I can recognize the feeling of an entity that I have previously experienced and remembered, but there is no such thing as some sort of a definite spectrum or something like that. It's like trying to fit an infinite number of unique IDs within RGB range, I guess.

>Should try asking them about time related things sometimes.

As far as I understand, the usual ideas of time and causal sequence are non-existent there. It didn't happen, and it won't happen, it's just always been there for them. For example, tell me, when I first met them, and then said goodbye to them and left for Mars to fix something, sleeping inside an anti-inertia capsule in a cigarette-like planetship pushed by thermonuclear engines with extreme time dilation for some reason relativity?, never to return - was that in the past, or was it in the future? I don't know either. But they remember it. So, most likely, there is no "past" or "future" for these events, or, more precisely, there is simply no causality as we know it.

>Is it related to the place?

Yes and no. It's definitely related to that place, and to the overall implications, and also to Her words.

>His most known work, right?

I guess.

>I mean… did you feel them with your spine or sides?

Yes, but it was more like I was floating on the surface of a very dense waving liquid.

>Didn't try to get it back anyhow?

It would be nice, I guess, but how? I have no idea how to get in that place again, and if I'd somehow manage to find it, I'm sure everything will be different in there.

And again, most of the time I can't travel freely through the Dream City and the surrounding deeper and deeper areas outside of it, and I often have no idea where I will go after the next "Door" (I don't even think about it, these are not lucid dreams), and if you remember, my dream world is in some sense four-dimensional, sometimes literally. So, for example, sometimes in the south-northwest region there are not snow-covered wastelands and some huge factory/power plant, but a dark area with apartment buildings, highways, bus stops and parking lots, inhabited by a bunch of sentient beings, or a few dead high-rise buildings, hills covered with dead trees, ash and broken glass, and a railway leading somewhere to an industrial zone, etc. And in a north-southeast direction, snow-covered ruins where the Snow Girl resides, a bus road leading into the outside depths and Dream City Outskirts change to rusty concrete mazes with rivers of dirty snow and blood with a giant mall in the distance and the entrance to the sewers leading back into The Center and deeper areas, or to a huge blue lake with sunken ruins of brick skyscrapers and abandoned buildings full of sand and water from broken pipes on the shore, from where you can get into some astronomical size hangars with steel pillars holding them up, and so on. I call these the "Levels" of the Dream City. I don't know why and how they change between each other, it's just the usual dream logic, I guess. But I can travel "up" and "down" between Levels without noticing it. I remember saying that even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to make a rough map of the Dream City even in three dimensions. My brain would melt.

>Lasers and stuff are good, but… the more the better?

This is not a videogame. I don't have inventory or weapon slots and keybinds, so I can't pull a minigun or a huge chainsaw out of my ass. I don't even really have any pockets there (except for the bottomless purse filled with useless items like pills, eyes, radio parts, buttons, that my shape of the killer-schoolgirl has, or the things someone/something even more abstract have), everything I have is constantly present in my hands, and I can't put it anywhere else or hide. Especially when I'm haunted by this irritating feeling that if I drop something, I'll lose it forever.

>And, though your laser must be a wicked, dreadful weapon, it still sounds somewhat funny for silly me.

It's funny to you, but right now I'm trying not to touch the centimeter-sized circle-shaped burn on my right arm that was made yesterday by its irl counterpart when I accidentally shot myself and didn't notice it in my safety glasses until it started to really hurt and I heard the hiss of flesh vaporizing by the beam. Damn painkillers and stimulants. Well, at least it was my hand, and not some flammable material. It also blew a hole through the cheap goggles intended for its frequency two days ago, with which I tried to block the beam without turning off the device. But I'm glad it destroyed them. I don't want to think about what might have happened if I had used them for their intended purpose and the laser beam had accidentally ricocheted into my eyes. Permanent blindness. Never trust the suspiciously cheap offers from the Chinese.

>spoiler 4

Uh. Um... Could you be more specific?

>What's prominent is that much of happening took place in sewers. I kept moving somewhere, and not only me. But I saw, sometimes through sort of pavement glass, sometimes through grates, that there is real winter on the surface. Winter city, factories or something.

Hmm. Sounds very familiar. ~desu

sigh

>spoiler 5

Uh-huh, I do. Sometimes.

>Weather here changes frequently and unpredictably…

Same here. Except for the rain.

>visually.

But not visually. -30 or -5, everything still looks the same through my window.

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 No.7081

File: ee9daa85ec6975f⋯.jpg (1.89 MB,2000x2000,1:1,87585049_p0.jpg)

>>7073

>Snow on the ground but not in the sky

Boring... ~desu

>It feels good out.

Ah. I'm glad. I guess. ^ ^

>>7075

I guess anything said about me would sound unhealthy. ~desu

>>7078

>>7079

Now that's interesting. Some scenes and moments have very familiar details and atmosphere to me.

When I get to a place like this fortunately not so often lately, I either come to the surface again, or... I can't find a way out and go deeper and deeper, even if I go "up". And things gradually become more and more abstract, chaotic, and unpleasant, to the point of being completely delirious and non-euclidean. And terrifying.

I started to write about what usually happens there, further, deeper, but changed my mind. I don't want to recall it and I really don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry.

I guess you can figure out yourself what's below, and what's happening down there, at least a little bit. So...

I wanted to make and post a few swfs, but that's for tomorrow, I guess.

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 No.7082

File: b0e368babe476aa⋯.jpg (136.25 KB,710x482,355:241,9b8607911910f560540c163902….jpg)

>>7080

>but right now I'm trying not to touch the centimeter-sized circle-shaped burn on my right arm that was made yesterday by its irl counterpart when I accidentally shot myself and didn't notice

Oh dear, be careful. I hope your hand heals soon and there isn't too much pain. What were you working on that you need lasers for?

>>7081

Snow came back, then the cold, the deep freezing cold. Below 0 every day this week.

>I wanted to make and post a few swfs, but that's for tomorrow, I guess.

Exciting, take your time, but I do hope to see your new swfs soon.

My back hurts, I threw it out at work today, I hope it heals by morning but most likely I will need a chiropractor.

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 No.7087

Oh, what a ride of joy this week has been. The spring has come and got me. Yes, this time, it's in the middle of winter. I fell sick, hallucinated and puked without throwing anything up, which made me literally loudly fucking roar into air. During this time I tried to distract myself by tinkering with shit, though I don't know if that was a good idea. And I saw a whole dozen of dreams.

Now of which one should I tell you this time? The one with a waterhole in the sewers after which everything else began. Following delirium and chaos and my transformation into a scary poisonous insect. Maybe the one about a volcanic planet?... Or about the city of ruined things and mad Suigintou obliterating a city of drones along with it's inhabitants? Hang on... Well, there's a short one where I was you, no, rather, saw through your eyes, but without feels or control, while you slaughtered some thugs like Jason Voorhees or I don't know who. Sometimes I felt strong urge to forcibly wake up and tell you... that I... well, you know.

>>7080

> spoiler 1

He spoke of some things in his real life and also about his dreams, which sounded similar to some of yours, with a dream city that was resembling it's RL counterpart, with the center and outskirts, and some other things. It must have been several years ago already. Really, I find it such a pity that you two never met in person, as it seems. You'd have a lot of talk about... or I dare to say, you'd probably find a true soulmate?

> I should have said "smells", I guess. This is much more complicated and incomprehensible than ordinary synesthesia

Oh, I understand.

> was that in the past, or was it in the future? I don't know either. But they remember it.

Why do I find this particular concept so familiar personally? It must have something to do with dreams and fiction again, I guess...

> and if you remember, my dream world is in some sense four-dimensional, sometimes literally. So, for example, sometimes

Oh, I get it, I get it, thank you. I don't know why, but this too for some reason sounds familiar to me. And not because you already told me before, I mean it in another, more personal sense.

> spoiler 7

What a terrible thing. I hope that you learned your lesson and will go with some sort of procedures to properly test your equipment from now on. I really hope for it.

> spoiler 8

Let's go with an example. You meet an entity A, you can see it and maybe sense some smells from it, but not too much. But when it's away from the place where you are and where you know it's been, you can sense many more things. As if they were always there, but presence of entity A itself in the place obscured, enclosed, overshadowed them in itself, maybe restricted your own senses in that area, I dunno. Of course, it's a very rough description and is not necessarily exactly like that.

>>7081

Oh, I can kind of guess what you must feel about it. But it's not needed, I guess...

>>7082

> spoiler

I saw an elderly woman trying one in a pharmacy, but apparently to them the size was not right. I'm not sure if it's effective, but do keep your size in mind, at least.

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Post last edited at

 No.7088

File: 2783b1a412aa8dd⋯.jpg (115.6 KB,768x768,1:1,EtxPAhnUYAAu7xh.jpg)

>>7087

> trying one in a pharmacy, but apparently to them the size was not right.

Hmmm? What do you mean? Here a chiropractor is a professional who fixes backs, not a tool to use. I do have a good one though, who does a great job. My back is mostly healed, I think it will be all better by monday as long as I continue to rest it.

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Post last edited at

 No.7090

File: c05c7ed1582eb21⋯.jpg (749.41 KB,1197x1596,3:4,87714364_p9.jpg)

Yesterday was... A good day, I guess. ^ ^

Will reply a bit later, I'm tired and very sleepy. ~desu

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 No.7091

File: 64b06d581d70f77⋯.png (2.63 MB,1650x1586,825:793,5.png)

>>7090

for some reason i read "yesterday" as "valentines" wth

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 No.7092

File: d4b20854b7c61bf⋯.jpg (1.65 MB,1338x1589,1338:1589,87820277_p1.jpg)

-30°C, -1°C, -30°C, -1°C, -30°C. What in the... sigh

>>7082

>I hope your hand heals soon and there isn't too much pain.

There isn't. Just a slightly irritating tiny "hole" in the skin. It will heal, though it will leave a very strange looking scar near the elbow pit, I guess.

>What were you working on that you need lasers for?

Classified information! For now, hehe.

>Snow came back, then the cold, the deep freezing cold.

Snow and the deep freezing cold. I miss it. I miss walking in the snow, everything is so beautiful, there is no one around, only the sparkling snow under my feet and in the air, the sparkling stars above my head, the twinkling lights of street lamps and house windows, and the iridescent lights of neon and diode decorations. Ah, the memories... They remind me of the 2016 New Year and that particular photo of my city, and not only that. Our cold night walks of 2012-2015, astronomy, movies, smoking nicotine for synergy while watching the snowy colorful world on antipsychotics in 2016, benzodiazepines and GABAergics in 2017, dopaminergics in 2018... Or 2017 and 2018 should be swapped, I can't really remember. Uh, I started to talk about something unrelated, I guess. But why is the real winter world so fake, but so colorful sometimes, and the dream world is...

Now we usually watch it through my window. I rarely go outside, only to get supplies or do an MRI. I just don't want to. No energy, no desire.

>Exciting, take your time, but I do hope to see your new swfs soon.

Nothing to be excited about, just a bunch of songs. There is no energy for anything more yet. Moreover, I spent the leftovers of it on css, drawings, a special day for us, and this reply. But I still haven't decided what to do, make a few Rain Lily White Yume Nikki tracks because why not, or finally complete the latest "album" of Complex Numbers. Hmm.

You don't have any spasmolytics or NSAIDs or something?

>>7087

Yeah, it hit me too, like the usual. The only unusual thing is that instead of psychotic attacks and worsening of productive symptoms, I was faced with apathy, asthenia, anhedonia and other "A"-type negatives with a weight of a thousand worlds, quite the opposite. You may have already noticed this.

>And I saw a whole dozen of dreams.

Good for you, I dream a vague, twisted mess of fake memories, Dream City, some celestial bodies, outer worlds, and an abstract kaleidoscope of unconscious things, and I forget almost everything before I can write anything down these days. It's just too much. ~desu

>Now of which one should I tell you this time?

Fascinating.

>The one with a waterhole in the sewers after which everything else began.

You decided to dive in it or something like that, I guess?

>Following delirium and chaos and my transformation into a scary poisonous insect.

Sounds familiar, aside from transformations, I guess. Ah, that dream about some global cataclysm in another world/dimension. I've already told you that one, I guess. I don't remember.

>Maybe the one about a volcanic planet?...

Hehe, what the deal with celestial bodies lately, I wonder? For the lastest example, on the 12th, I have the following dream recorded: Some kind of gas, metallic constructions, dust everywhere, and I see a desolate planet with no atmosphere. Nah, more like an asteroid. There were habitable modules under the cliff. I was wearing a space suit, I guess. I don't know why I was there, floating in the shadow, it looked like the place was fully automated. I remember how on the plains, further down in the crater, small beautiful fountains of dust would suddenly form, which would abruptly disappear after a second or two. I was afraid of them, and for a good reason, I guess. These were not "fountains", but impacts. [Transition to another dream.]

But volcanic? Ugh, that's hot, I guess.

>Or about the city of ruined things and mad Suigintou obliterating a city of drones along with it's inhabitants?

Oh, huh, that was some big action, I guess.

>Well, there's a short one where I was you, no, rather, saw through your eyes

Huh. What I was? How it felt?

>spoiler 1

Eh?..

>spoiler 2, 3, 4

Even more fascinating. Welp, a shame. I don't even remember when he disappeared. Did you two talk or were you a lurker? My memory... Also, I've noticed that a similar concept is often found in the experience of other dream travelers/oneironauts. A Nexus-like center with high-rise buildings or some sort of tower, a city, outskirts, a giant box-shaped building on one side, an industrial zone on the other, etc. I don't remember much, but there were more similarities. It must have been several years ago.

>spoiler 5

Ew, I, I don't really think so, stop with that, please.

>I hope that you learned your lesson and will go with some sort of procedures to properly test your equipment from now on.

I was just a little out of my mind. And yes, I will test all new plastic goggles with point blank unfocused continuous radiation. But I'd rather keep using my old semi-universal double glass filters, even though they're a bit heavy and dark. At least they are completely safe against the near-infrared and visible blue and green spectrum and fully cover the eyes.

>Let's go with an example.

You messed up my spoilers, I guess.

> >Uh-huh, I do. Sometimes.

I asked you to clarify about memory girl in the spring realm. I can't remember what it was about.

>Of course, it's a very rough description and is not necessarily exactly like that.

I know what you're talking about.

I guess >>7088 meant a "manual therapist" chiropractor, for people who have no need for a neurologist and their drugs.

Did I see KusabaX markdown or something?.. Nevermind.

>>7091

Oh, really? What strange associations you have, ehehe. ~desu

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 No.7093

File: 67aa793b46b8b6b⋯.jpg (990.82 KB,1157x1200,1157:1200,87820277_p2_master1200.jpg)

>>7092

>There isn't. Just a slightly irritating tiny "hole" in the skin. It will heal, though it will leave a very strange looking scar near the elbow pit, I guess.

Well, im glad its only minor, I hope it heals quickly.

>Classified information!

Hehehe, okay mr bond.

>I miss it. I miss walking in the snow, everything is so beautiful

What a beautiful description of winter.

>Nothing to be excited about

Even seeing you have energy and working on things is worth being excited for, it makes me happy to see ^^

>spoler

What doesn't have NSAids and analytics in this country? I probably should do more to check than I do.

My dreams have come back, they are strange ones, often at school.

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 No.7095

File: cda23ed12573019⋯.jpg (1.02 MB,1215x1261,1215:1261,87820277_p2.jpg)

File: 49d312064ed5b68⋯.gif (690.91 KB,320x240,4:3,Mikuru_did_wtc.gif)

>>7093

>Hehehe, okay mr bond.

You take that back immediately. Mikurubeamu~

>it makes me happy to see ^^

Why?

>My dreams have come back

But you said you almost never had any.

>_master1200

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 No.7096

>>7092

What I like in your new swf is how stars are twinkling because of all the falling snow... Ah, that bgm from there.

> You may have already noticed this.

Yeah, I guess.

> fake memories

I have these too, y'know.

> an abstract kaleidoscope of unconscious things

These tended to be quite intense and aggressive sometimes. And degree of their unrelatedness and brokenness was not low either... It's as if I saw how complex and fragile processes in the brain actually are and how it can actually malfunction. If I was conscious and mobile, I wonder what I would do.

> You decided to dive in it or something like that, I guess?

Yes, I did. I wanted to know what awaits me down the rabbit hole, I guess.

> Ah, that dream about some global cataclysm in another world/dimension. I've already told you that one, I guess. I don't remember.

I can't really remember, sorry.

> Hehe, what the deal with celestial bodies lately, I wonder?

I can guess a reason for myself, well, whatever...

> There were habitable modules under the cliff.

Can you tell more about these?

> But volcanic? Ugh, that's hot, I guess.

Yes, but not quite. Rather, it was very, very, very warm. It was intense, but not overwhelming or suffocating feeling. And I felt it only in the beginning. To be honest, I felt like at home there... Though I also had the same feeling on a very distant, cold, icy planet, but that was a long, long time ago.

> Oh, huh, that was some big action, I guess.

If by some big action you mean a lot of movement, effects and noise, then it was not. It was precise, silent and ruthless grand sabotage to which the fact that a lot of infrastructure in the city was automated and there was large scale maintenance going on was very helpful. Everyone quietly drowned, many asleep even, in the water filled with extremely corrosive juice of giant alien plants from a nearby plantation. It was so in her style. I mean, the version I see and not "canon" one, which gives off quite opposite feeling. The kind that wouldn't prance around out of boredom, play with a shower sprinkler or get clawed by a fucking domestic cat only to whine, but may suddenly appear out of nowhere, drop a rottweiler midair from a very high altitude and immediately disappear in the same manner, which she did. I sincerely felt sorry for the poor animal, but I guess there must have been some solid reason behind it, just like how it was with this city.

> What I was? How it felt?

A man in post-apocalyptic stalker garb including a gasmask. Unlike, how you describe your experience in your own dreams, this you felt like main antagonist of some thriller or horror movie on a killing spree. It felt... very unstoppable and steady, yes. Atmosphere created by surrounding desolated wastelands with just few dead trees under presumably grey skies contributed too.

> spoiler 4

Sigh. Nevermind. Just my feelings...

> spoiler 5

Former, though not too much. And I myself never had a nexus in my dreams, sadly. Or maybe it's the sewers now? Somehow, those sewers preceding other... I abhor this idea somewhat tbh. Why the damn sewers? Am I a sewer rat or something?

> You messed up my spoilers, I guess.

I see. **Now about it. You told me about autumn, winter, spring and summer in your dreams when you were describing those... well, monsters and whatnot. That's when you also mentioned her.""

> a "manual therapist" chiropractor

I already looked up. Ha, an example of quack doctors, well, not quite maybe, but still, who through history turn out to be real doctors.

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 No.7097

Well, darn, messed up markup again.

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 No.7098

File: f74a3b64d320951⋯.jpg (35.43 KB,360x360,1:1,Et6SK2_U0AEREuN.jpg)

>>7095

>You take that back immediately.

hehe okay okay, mikuru-chan then.

>Why?

Hmmm, I like seeing people I like doing well. I'm an empathetic person too, seeing people around me happy and full of energy makes me feel happy and full of energy, generally.

>But you said you almost never had any.

Yup, thats the standard, but lately that's changed and i've been getting more dreams. Mostly taking place at school, I don't know why that is.

>higher quality

nice

>>7096

>I already looked up. Ha, an example of quack doctors, well, not quite maybe, but still, who through history turn out to be real doctors.

Hmmm, depends, many chiropractors are known to be suspicious, or only interested in money, but I have been lucky in picking good chiropractors whose work quality speaks for itself. Chiropractor visits and rest, and my back feels much better.

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 No.7100

I woke up because a white haired kaibitsu assaulted me and now I'm feeling very anxious for some reason... Maybe that scene in the farthest room really impressed me.

>>7098

> Yup, thats the standard, but lately that's changed and i've been getting more dreams.

Uh-huh. There was a time for me as well when I had no dreams whatsoever. Do I deceive myself or did I really sleep better back then? I don't remember for sure anymore...

> Mostly taking place at school, I don't know why that is.

Try to figure this out. It should be easier than it appears.

> chiropractors

Yep, apparently they are quite controversial bunch.

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 No.7104

File: b48906acd074041⋯.png (2.29 MB,1200x1600,3:4,61422662_p0.png)

Life can be tough!

Though, she insist on growth...

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 No.7111

Tfw only gods know why you suddenly dream of being Joseph Stalin and getting to speak with Vladimir Lenin in person. O_o

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 No.7113

File: 8f0966104a4b961⋯.png (1.73 MB,1440x960,3:2,88118202_p0.png)

File: 4f5bd6336faa846⋯.png (24.04 KB,1080x1080,1:1,1369173871930.png)

Now anemia. Great. Just a little more, just a little...

>>7096

Um... That's not my swf. I didn't make it and I didn't post it. Sorry. But I agree, it's nice. And the bgm isn't so compressed, so it isn't from that place, I guess. Also, it was posted on /f/ first.

>If I was conscious and mobile, I wonder what I would do.

Fire and war, I guess.

>Yes, I did. I wanted to know what awaits me down the rabbit hole, I guess.

Familiar, but uncomfortable feeling. ~desu

>I can't really remember, sorry.

> >Well, at least not an insect-like abomination, something kinda like a zergling, unable to think in the human sense of the word, which desperately needed to find its wings in order to escape with the rest from a collapsing dimension consisting entirely of some organic matter.

I think I found it. Weird. I thought I told you more. Nevermind.

>Can you tell more about these?

Eh, well... They were spherical and went deep into the rock, they seemed to be gray in color and were illuminated by yellow and blue lights. And the whole structure was hanging over the surface, at some small height. Maybe these things were tanks with helium-3 or metallic hydrogen, I don't know. This doesn't explain the lighting, moving automatic mechanisms, consoles and my presence though.

>Yes, but not quite. Rather, it was very, very, very warm. To be honest, I felt like at home there...

Now that I think about it, I don't remember any pleasant warm or hot places.

>It was precise, silent and ruthless grand sabotage

I can see it happening, I guess. But so consistently, reasonable and continuously, without derailings and complete loss of common sense... Fascinating.

>It was so in her style.

>spoiler 1

Yup, that's her, I guess.

>A man in post-apocalyptic stalker garb including a gasmask.

>Unlike, how you describe your experience in your own dreams, this you felt like main antagonist of some thriller or horror movie on a killing spree.

Oh, alright then. I thought you saw something more... Detached from your world. ~desu

>spoiler 3

I, I see. I see...

>Former, though not too much.

Ah. Now I get it. So, that bokufag. A shame, really. But I really didn't feel like talking at that time. But, let's say, 2017 isn't so far away. It feels like it was last week. On the other hand, last spring feels like it was an eternity ago...

>spoiler 4

And I'm a decomposing snow hobo, I guess. So what?

>You told me about autumn, winter, spring and summer in your dreams when you were describing those... well, monsters and whatnot. That's when you also mentioned her.

I can't remember it and I can't find it. "Monsters" - perhaps, because I did tell something about them, but everything else mentioned...

>Ha, an example of quack doctors

Yeah. Gimme $20 and I'll show you a demo of what a $5 bottle of pills can do. Neurologists do it for free, so they don't know shit, I do. The drugs aren't gonna help you. Also, you need to visit me exactly 9001 times, or the money will be lost in vain.

>>7098

>Hmmm, I like seeing people I like doing well.

How do you know they're doing well?

>I'm an empathetic person too

You? Empathetic? Hehe. Well, it's not for me to judge.

>Mostly taking place at school, I don't know why that is.

You should. Come on. You're not even trying.

>pic

Here, take this slowpoke. But thanks for posting it here. Maybe it will be useful for someone. You see, I'm even slower these... Days.

>>7100

Oh.

>spoiler

You got the ending?

>>7104

Ehehe... Heh. Heh.

>>7111

...

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 No.7114

>: У нас впереди ещё столько времени.....

sigh

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 No.7115

Last night I saw previous city again. It was bright, warm summer and no one was wearing surgical masks. I skillfully rode on a bicycle, completely carefree. I rode to the park outside of the city. All the familiar strees, yards, places... Did I just witness myself making use of an "inventory" again? I mean I switched to bicycle from samokat with my hands just like that. Traveling back in time was always my sweetest dream ever. The farther, the better.

>>7113

You should treat yourself better, my good, good friend. If you can, treat yourself to some liver. Or vine.

>Familiar, but uncomfortable feeling.

Uh huh.

>Nevermind.

OK then.

>This doesn't explain the lighting, moving automatic mechanisms, consoles and my presence though.

That looks interesting! But why do these have to be explained, aside from lightnings?

>I don't remember any pleasant warm or hot places.

You're an all wintery creature, after all, so it's no very surprising. I myself am more of a climatically adaptable kind.

>consistently

Some dreams do preserve consistency to a surprising degree and it's true not only for me. For example, last night, I teleported to a city through TV where a woman reported on police actions in that city. I moved away immediately, after all, I didn't want to be detained as well. If there is something in my dreams that I really don't want to deal with then it's the police. They can and did once detain even a fucking horror monster. And they can disable any special abilities. That is, if they manage to catch, which, as I realize now, they aren't all that great at. These slowpokes had their patrol car, but failed to catch a man who commited some sort of auto crime, because he ran away into a crowd. Sometimes my flying ability helped me to run away from them as well. Still, I need to be wary of them, because they can pop out by surprise.

>Fascinating.

Well, you can be fascinated indeed, for that was pt2 which happened because of pt1, or so I interpret. Imagine swarms of annoying, super loud advertisement drones intruding your normally dead silent realm through an overlooked spatial wormhole? You'd be unhappy for sure.

>spoiler 4

I guess many can't forget you.

You... you are just too fascinating of a person.

Uh... excuse me.

>I can't find it.

I can't either. But you really did.

>You should. Come on. You're not even trying.

He surely should. Whenever I had dreams of the school, it was always the very same theme. THEM TEACHES GONNA WASH MY HEAD BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO MY HOMEWORK. I was glad to see classmates again, though. They helped out even in dream. But man, how I hated homework, I believed it to be an absolute violation of private life.

>spoiler 7

I told you I did. But it was kind of predictable to an extent. There were way too many details in their uncanny resemblance, down to the weapon of choice, which greatly foreshadowed which destination she was heading to. But that one sequence struck me, probably because it was probably the first one showing that her last bastion of sanity was already crumbling, the danger was now invading her asylum and she got no more time left... And worse than that, she remained seemingly unsuspecting of those changes. Plus the fact that real she was recognized by the monster. Well, it's all kind of messed up, which only makes it more... interesting. Were those kaibitsu trying to protect real Sabi from you, though? Ha-ha-ha. Wild theories may be wild indeed.

>>7114

...

Time...

Nowadays it's more and more like a lie.

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 No.7116

File: 59d2d181600bca8⋯.jpg (339.77 KB,1728x1683,192:187,88344513_p0.jpg)

File: 3fda8a70112eea0⋯.jpg (654.53 KB,1000x1500,2:3,88143632_p4.jpg)

Snow, snow... Lots of snow. Oceans and mountains of snow.

>>7115

How peaceful. ~desu

>spoiler 2

smiles

A week ago I had an unpleasant dream, I won't tell you the details, but throughout the dream I was constantly losing my teeth for no apparent reason, beings were randomly getting into accidents and dying, I was being chased by someone and I saw a lot of those scary ticking clocks again. Not for the first time, I found that such a dream is a harbinger of trouble, pain and suffering. Some time after waking up, part of the dream about losing teeth came true. Since that day, I've been up for almost a week, trying to do everything I can, following all the prescriptions from the doctors, fighting for his life. But yesterday came the apotheosis. It was all in vain. The part of the dream with those terrifying unstoppable clocks also came true.

I'm sorry for taking so long to reply. I didn't have the time nor the energy for talk. Eh, everyone is extremely lazy these days, it seems. Back in our days, you had to intentionally change hosts to even get to the site, and now it's just some sub-domain, wow, how confusing and troublesome. Pfft. Still, that's no excuse for these fucktards.

Tell me, please. How is your cat? You haven't said anything about her in a long time. Mine died yesterday. Kidney failure. Yes, that one. The "sentient" one, which was extremely intelligent and could tell us apart. Not to mention that he understood every word we said. I'm sure you remember him. You've seen him, I remember. When he was playing with my plush Sui. Our dearest friend and companion. The most unique and human-like cat we've ever met. He's gone.

I know there's nothing I could have done, but still...

>spoiler 3

You see... I can't. If only it were that simple. And that's not the only problem that bothers me, you know. pulls out another clump of hair and sighs

>spoiler 4

Don't be silly. And it won't help our case anyway. And why would I need wine when I have vodka, whiskey, and beer? No need for this bullshit trying to justify alcohol, please. If someone wants to post another link to some yellow press page about the "benefits" of alcohol, first try to compare these "benefits" with the harm of the drug and think about it. But if you're hopelessly stupid or just an drunkard, then try to ask some actual medic about that topic. Preferably a neurologist or psychiatrist, especially the addictionologist one. Smartass.

pours another one

>But why do these have to be explained, aside from lightnings?

I don't know. Something isn't right. I feel like I've been there before.

>You're an all wintery creature, after all, so it's no very surprising.

I just don't like heat. And I have a constant mild hyperthermia all my life. Yeah, winter is beautiful and we love snow, but I really don't think that's the reason for the state of my dreams. ~desu

>Some dreams do preserve consistency to a surprising degree and it's true not only for me.

I know.

>teleported through TV

Hehe, reminds me of the first time I found myself in the "magic forest", in that garden. I will never forget that beautiful moment.

>If there is something in my dreams that I really don't want to deal with then it's the police.

...

>Well, you can be fascinated indeed, for that was pt2 which happened because of pt1, or so I interpret.

Wow. Actually, nothing surprising to me. I had a whole series of consistent dreams for several days in a row several times.

>spoiler 6

You're totally right. ~desu

>spoiler 7, 8, 9

I can't tell if you're just lying and flattering me as usual or if you lied to me again 3 months ago. Or maybe you're just lying to yourself? In that case, you must know better than I do what you're lying about. I don't understand why you're telling me this, if the great good has turned out to be more important to you than me. Cut it out with your games or stop teasing me. Durak...

>I can't either. But you really did.

I don't remember.

>spoiler 10

It's usually just a place where I meet memories. Or sometimes this place is not what it appears to be completely.

>spoiler 11

Yeah, hehehe...

>Nowadays it's more and more like a lie.

More like that time was just a naive lie, I guess, if you know what I mean. But nevermind, I understand your feelings, I guess...

Zetsubou, zetsubou, ze-tsu-bou~

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 No.7118

File: e0bc03ead0c9861⋯.jpg (343.36 KB,1164x1553,1164:1553,EsP2BHiVgAAzBl5.jpg)

>>7113

>How do you know they're doing well?

I guess I don't, but sometimes I can take an educated guess, or a hunch. And well can be relative, sometimes just doing better is good.

>You should. Come on. You're not even trying.

Hmmmm, maybe I feel like im still learning right now? Almost child like feeling of the world around me. I haven't had those dreams in a week now though.

>slowpoke

hehe, well, nobody brought it up yet here. I'm excited for it to come out, I want two.

It feels like a week passed waiting to post this.

>>7116

>mountains of snow

hooray!

>spoiler 2

thats awful, i'm sorry to hear that happened

>Hehe, reminds me of the first time I found myself in the "magic forest", in that garden. I will never forget that beautiful moment.

So these are all adventures you both have in your dreams right?How does one find these places? Would one even want to? It sounds like their are horrors along with beauties in such places sorry if I am asking silly obvious questions

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Post last edited at

 No.7120

Fixed and updated the flags. Ctrl+F5

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 No.7121

File: 2b2a3bc42f83a27⋯.jpg (83.55 KB,709x709,1:1,_.jpg)

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 No.7122

Recently I saw that volcanic planet again. That time I was in a seemingly unpopulated city. Solid dark buildings covered in volcanic white ash and glass, industrial machinery, and highly fluorescent white decorations. It felt like a beautiful, cozy winter holiday. Only that it was super warm and colors were mostly contrast, monochromatic, in warm reddish hue.

>>7718

I can say that my dreams started to develop when when I shifted my focus towards them and started giving them greater importance. I guess it should be sort of "the more you think of it the more it comes" thing. Plus it must been seriously influenced when I was sick and my mind was perturbed.

>>7116

>A week ago I had an unpleasant dream

This sort of prophetic dream... sure is ominous. It really is.

>Eh, everyone is extremely lazy these days, it seems.

True. Also, throwing a gun away just in fear of shooting leg is unwise. Maybe you should designate a backup then? FFS don't tell us you don't give shit.

>spoiler 2, 3

Life is bitch. I know that he may had been old already... or not. But still. When I thought of you I always remembered him as well. After all, you all were a real family living under the same roof. You must had fought hard. What nature gives nature takes...

>Tell me, please. How is your cat? You haven't said anything about her in a long time.

She's not young anymore, that's for sure. It's been a decade since she was brought in, when she was a very young adult. She's still just as talkative and complainant. And dare you say something like "could you shut up already eprst!", it might get her pissed off. She too understands what you say, and not just her name or intonation in which you speak.

She must took her gab after my mother, along with everything else. It was her who picked her up in the first place, after all. Normally my mother would never ever agree to allow any animals in, yet she unexpectedly brought this one in on her own. I realized the reason why cats and especially dogs resemble their owners so much all the time, be it in visual appearance or behavior. It's because owners find their little furry mirrors. Kindred souls feel one another, or something like that.

Very recently she began to pour off in random places from time to time which she didn't do before. It may potentially spell some serious health issues. sigh

>You see...

I suspected that you may have related issues, given the many clues you gave me in the past. Well, sorry, I'm being silly again.

>And why would I need wine when I have vodka, whiskey, and beer?

Oh, I forget that you tend to treat all alcohol this way. Not blaming you, your drugs susceptibility is something else.

>beer

I wonder just what entire world finds in this urine.

>to justify alcohol

I'm not really pro-alcohol, actually, I'm rather opposite. I do find red wine and port tasting good, though.

>I feel like I've been there before.

Sometimes I get the very same feeling.

>magic forest

Should it probably be one of more accessible and frequently appearing of relatively stable locations, or do I miss on this one?

>...

You would likely share my sentiments if you were trapped in an inescapable, completely isolated police station with pitch black windows for decades and centuries awaiting only hell knows what, twice or thrice.

>spoiler 6

There was so much, so much that I wrote. It's crazy. My emotional state went through quite a storm...

I discarded this whole stupid "greater good" misconception. And don't remind me of it again, it's too embarrassing.

You stole my ♥ and there is no changing it. Do whatever you want with it. That's what I should've said without shirking, probably.

edited: over 9k times

Now you can shoot me, a-ha-ha.

>I don't remember.

Even you may forget this kind of things, heh. It must been in the very, very beginning, if I recall correctly.

>More like

I wouldn't be so categorical as to call it a deliberate lie. It was such a good time... It's just that I was delusional about being able to do everything as long as there is drive which I pretty much lacked before I met you.

And once again, you have my sincere condolences.

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 No.7123

File: f3e149826ff514c⋯.png (201.37 KB,512x687,512:687,19.PNG)

I have returned!

seems 8kunk is back, however most my vpns,are not working.

how are you all. it has been a while but am happy to say things have improved as far as sobriety and overall condition, the remedy has been remaining as occupied as possible, exhausting however it works. I hope my absence was not too much of an issue.

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 No.7124

File: 1f4247054f6aea2⋯.png (306.37 KB,546x668,273:334,2020_11_07_17_05_05_13_jpg….png)

>>7122

>I can say that my dreams started to develop when when I shifted my focus towards them and started giving them greater importance. I guess it should be sort of "the more you think of it the more it comes" thing. Plus it must been seriously influenced when I was sick and my mind was perturbed.

Ah, that is good advice, I will try to do this more often.

>I wonder just what entire world finds in this urine.

Aye, I do not know except japanese rice beer, that is very different

>I'm not really pro-alcohol, actually, I'm rather opposite. I do find red wine and port tasting good, though.

I guess i'm the odd one out, I consider myself a budding connoisseur of various alcoholic beverages, and like my drinks with a story of the make.

>>7123

ah congratulations on your sobriety! Keep up the hard work!

I am well, new job that I am finally happy at has been keeping me lazy, and kept a roof over my head and food on my plate.

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 No.7125

>>7122

>It was such a good time... It's just that I

This again. How could I remain so stupidly selfish.

>>7123

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N8OF3nE-zM

Getting rid of addiction is always a good thing. As for me, I can be said fine, but still struggling with my lazy, dreamy self.

>>7124

It took time and I did not force it in any way. However... you may not really want it. My dreams are more vivid and rich than ever before, yes. However, my senses IRL also became even duller and heavier than before. I wake up without even having feeling of waking up. I feel as though I sleep right now instead. In this aspect, it was still much better when I had no dreams whatsoever, notwithstanding my usual lifelong brain fog. I envy those many people that are as clearheaded as one can be. I maintain healthy daily regime and vary my activities, but it doesn't really help. That's what it's like for me.

But this is not any remotely close to, as you say, adventures that our dearest friend here had to go through for long, long years. He would tell you something else entirely. Think of it, does it really worth it?

Last night as well as tonight I was practicing special abilities again. It's been such a long time, yet I still can't grasp neither passing through floors or walls nor outright teleportation. It seems as though I'm about to succeed, but then I end up being pushed back. Could it be because I am not thinking good enough about where I want to be after passing through? I have this feeling that if I were to think better about it, thus moving gravity center of my consciousness, then I would be pulled in by it as well. I remember succeeding a few times. Another ability of mine is becoming invisible to everyone. I don't know why I forgot how to do it, it always worked in the past. It should be because of my attitude in regard to expectations. Do I lack confidence or what? Hmm...

But to be honest, I feel that rather than pressing further I should knock it off already. It does me no good. I feel I had enough.

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 No.7127

File: 5f6b5680b5725fd⋯.png (1.52 MB,1488x1922,24:31,88140016_p0.png)

>>7122

Sounds pretty. I'd like to see that place, I guess.

I had a lot of dreams these two days, but I only remember the endings. But even the endings were so long and detailed, I don't feel like translating and rewriting them, it would take a long time and generate two walls of text. I can only say that the first one involved Rozen Maidens, and the second involved a large amount of violence and death. Interestingly, both endings started with the train.

>Maybe you should designate a backup then?

Um... There's /9/rozen and 9/desu/, isn't that enough for now? Well, I don't believe in the long-term stability of that site, but in any case for last resort there is that abandoned flash board to coordinate on, on the site where your thread was, I guess. Of the places that the others know. But if you have any more suggestions, go ahead, it's more than welcome, I guess...

>spoiler 1

That's right. I don't give a shit. This board is stillborn. And I failed to revive it, succumbing to the disease and fucking up everything possible to fuck up. I have no energy and this place is beyond recovery. No one cares and no one will ever come here, and this site won't last long, and neither will I. What about the existing community? Ah, the ~3.5 posters, including me? You once said you don't care about imageboards anymore. Omega is having fun on other sites, defiles Suiseiseki with twitter "culture" and proudly spreads it around the web, OC my ass, reposts nude titmonster "dolls" because it's okay in his community with "gay Rozen Maidens", and actually is more obsessed with traps and fateshit, ah, I forgot to mention about his residency in the public "Rozen Maiden disсord". Did someone here say that RM disсords are bad thing? Sure, sure, hypocrisy, just like always. For the Twins sake, I was just searching for Tefuko images and this shit popped up again like a deja vu, but, actually, I'm not surprised. Zeta? I don't know. I guess he has a place where he is happy to be. But I somewhat appreciate it that he remembers this cursed place. I actually know who Epsilon really is, and it's not like him to suddenly disappear without a trace for such a long time. Maybe something happened. If someone cares, they will surely continue the legacy of this board, or more like, this barely alive avatarfag chain thread, but I can't guarantee that I'll be there. Just look at the index. And I wanted to register domain for an entire separate self-sufficient site with modified kusabaX, it's ridiculous! This failure of mine haunts me in my dreams, because it's all my fault and only mine. I had confidence in my dream that was incompatible with reality. I'm the second worst Rozen Maiden imageboard admin in the history of the Network. I wish this place never happened. You can throw stones at me, I don't care, and I deserve it.

The only good, happy thing that's happened here with me... Is you.

>spoiler 2

He wasn't young, but he wasn't old.

Thanks. He was also very talkative, although he often pretended to be silent. He understood every word and gesture, and used Morse-like "words" himself, combined with gestures with his face, body and eyes, and imitated human words and onomatopoeia with his voice. Well, the very basics, "mew-mew" meant food, "mew-ew-ew" meant a question depending on the context, "eh-eh-eew" was a call for attention, "ew-mew-meeew, myaa~" was a request, for example, to open a door or follow him, etc. For example, I could say to him, "I want to sleep, go to sleep too.", and he would immediately calm down and lie down on the bed near that "empty but occupied place" (if you know what I mean) in our bed to sleep. Heh, he always used a pillow under his head when he slept. He imitated me in many ways. Even sat like a human often. And his gaze was very similar to a human's, as if he always looked directly into the soul, and understood the thoughts. He always came and was trying to say something, while trying to calm me down when we were feeling a little too much bad. He never wanted to be alone. He only started hiding everywhere when he suddenly got sick. Everyone always called him very unusual. Probably because he was a real descendant of a wild forest cat, and not a dumb purebred degenerate, as the veterinarian said.

I often see him in the shadows or sleeping on the bed, and I feel him as if he has never left us. But he never really left us. All the beings that are dear to us, but have died, vanished in time, or changed completely and/or forgotten us, all of them always remain with us. Yes, these are the Memories I was always talking about. The prototype of one even posts in this thread. Don't worry, not you. But even without them, still, we are all one, you know that, I guess. So... Even if you still don't really take it seriously.

>It may potentially spell some serious health issues.

True...

>I suspected that you may have related issues

Huh. Really? I'm sure you remember a lot about them. Well, at least about some of them, I guess.

>Oh, I forget that you tend to treat all alcohol this way.

You would too, if you knew the disgusting and extremely dangerous, harmful nature of ethanol (which you do know) not only for one person and their mind and body, but for everyone around them too, and were also dependent on it, desperately trying to get rid of it along with the other annoying and toxic substances that keep you afloat, but slowly kill you in all senses in the process.

>Not blaming you, your drugs susceptibility is something else.

Yeah, yeah. "No blood was found in your benzodiazepines, sir." Or something like that.

>I wonder just what entire world finds in this urine.

I don't know about the world, but it's easier for me to wash down all the pills at once with a 330ml glass of beer and get an equal synergy effect than with a 50ml of vodka. And there is no need to eat something and less chance of accidentally dying.

>Should it probably be one of more accessible and frequently appearing of relatively stable locations, or do I miss on this one?

That was a long time ago. That was the first time I got to this place, and we finally met in a dream, aware of ourselves and each other. I've never seen so many flowers in my life. But all the flowers paled in comparison to the beauty I saw among them...

>You would likely share my sentiments...

Hmm. I guess so.

>last spoilers

And you say that now, again, after all this time. Why are you so cruel? I know I'm a bad person and I've hurt you a lot, but why are you so cruel? What should I say now, what should I do? You will reply that you have come to your senses and aren't able to feel this disease/rudimentary garbage/world lie, that you just don't want to hurt me and yourself because your other half said so, and apologize, again, am I right? I don't know anymore. I don't believe you. How can I believe you? You just want something from me too, right? Are you mocking me? Making fun of me? I'm tired, I'm so tired... I wish I could cry.

>Even you may forget this kind of things, heh.

Parts of my memory... Are no longer parts of my memory. If you could say so. I see you have some memory issues too.

>It's just that I was delusional about being able to do everything as long as there is drive

Not this shit again. How many times do I have to tell you that's not why I loved you, not why I wanted to stay with you? Oh, this is fucking bullshit... Here we go again, it's Groundhog Day...

>And once again, you have my sincere condolences.

Thank you.

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 No.7128

File: dfccc7c84909054⋯.jpg (259.96 KB,1034x1529,94:139,88303439_p0.jpg)

>>7118

So nano ka. I think you should try to improve your ability to take guesses, just a little bit. ^ ^

>dreams

Just try to start a dream diary. I'm sure you will discover a lot about yourself and you will stop forgetting your dreams.

>I'm excited for it to come out, I want two.

I hope I will be able to get them. I've wasted my two-month budget in a week, so not anytime soon, I guess. It's worse than a direct donation, but we've got Zero for it the last time. These will be a bit more pleasant gifts, I guess. I don't know.

>It feels like a week passed waiting to post this.

Why?

>spoiler 2

Not really. Actually, we have separate dreams, but She can invade my world, partially manipulate it or appear to me in disguise of someone else, but I can feel Her. She can appear in Her true form, but this happens rarely, only if it's really important or if the dream is lucid or "broken". I think that's the problem. It is difficult for Her to do this in a normal dream, because Her abilities are still limited in my realm, where the unconscious rule.

What kind of dreams does She have? About Herself. And memories. Her memories, Sister's memories, my memories, fake memories, forgotten memories. The empty space that surrounds Her. The semi-void that She fills with Her thoughts and dreams. Her creations and knowledge. The Unconscious. Experience, feelings, and emotions that flow through Her in a colorful stream, like music. Other worlds that She sees through the boundaries of Her confined space. Freedom. The emptiness, the nothingness, which was there before Her. Nonexistence. The eternal sleep. With which everything began, with which everything will end. That's all I know. But usually when I ask, for some reason She just says, "You."

>spoiler 3

One doesn't find these places, they find you by themselves. Horrors? It depends on the person, I guess. For me it's an integral part of my world, I guess.

>>7123

It's so good to see you. ~desu

Where have you been?

>seems 8kunk is back

But it wasn't down. Well, it was, but for a little while.

>however most my vpns,are not working.

Well. that's strange. Even most of the Tor clearnet exit nodes started to work here. Try to flush your DNS cache and make sure you aren't using the server provided by your ISP. And disable your hosts override, it works fine for now, I checked all the major DNS providers.

>it has been a while but am happy to say things have improved as far as sobriety and overall condition

I'm glad. I'm really, really glad. ~desu

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 No.7134

>>7127

>the first one involved Rozen Maidens, and the second involved a large amount of violence and death.

Even though you're not telling more, it sounds intriguing neverthless, especially the first one.

>Interestingly, both endings started with the train.

Train, huh. I'd like to hear more about trains in your dreams somehow. I remember I asked you before and you told there's nothing particular about them in your dreams. But a lot of time has passed since then.

>Of the places that the others know.

...and I don't even remember. Huh. What site, what thread, what nine, dunno anything. And those that I do remember have died long ago. Well, there's also that .moe and the bunch.

>spoiler 1

You take this lack of success as your own issue, but it's a skewed way to view things.

To an extent this board does better than what would be expected from a board that few people nowadays know about. No "throwing stones" or flattering, I really think that you did better than, for example, I myself would. I messed up and abandoned a lot of my beginnings myself. About independent imageboard, are you sure it would be a good idea? Even if you were to succeed, how long you would hold it up for, how much patience and resources you would have to invest into it, do you know that? Most of little imageboards, especially specifically dedicated ones, I have EVER seen, lived just a little and nobody even remembered them afterwards. I knew few admins and was one myself, and I say it's hopeless just by nature. On the contrast, metachans such as this one, stand above the rest simply because they hold much more practicality by today's standards, for everyone. That's right, it's all about practicability. Sure, you can't tweak and twist even more things... But doesn't what we have here already serves the purpose well enough? It's not a technical issue. It's just that today's internet has changed to be like this and there are only few of us left. This is not your fault. Ambitions cannot be satisfied without conditions.

And about that degeneracy. I know this feeling. I know. I was always very upset about this nonsensical shit as well, you know. But nowadays I also believe that in the end good and quality stuff prevails and outlasts the garbage while degeneracy is doomed to go down the drains and gutters of oblivion just as it deserves. Because that's what I witnessed regarding various big and small titles, and Rozen Maiden isn't an exception either. And because I trust and hold my visions true as well.

>He was also very talkative, although...

>spoiler 4

Whoah, that's amazing. It's really like a language you'd rarely hear just from any random cat. I can imagine it, actually. Well, I knew he's not your run-of-the-mill cat just from what I saw and because I knew he is your cat. How your beloved cat could be any ordinary, if he is your furry mirror and extension, ahh!... Wild forest cats are getting rarer these days, unfortunately. That's what is cherishable about them - they are the real beasts, even if they aren't much different visually from a distance.

>pretended to be silent

Hmm... Did you perhaps meant "preferred"? Or did you mean him wanting to say something but holding back?...

>Heh, he always used a pillow under his head when he slept.

Oh hey, you just reminded me. Back in the old days she did the same. I often woke up discovering her sleeping next to me in this very fashion. Dunno why me, though, as I used to be rather fidgety in my sleep back then.

>spoiler 6

I know. I know... And I take it more seriously than you think, I do not agree with things just because. I don't know about memories, but that we are one does in fact fits with certain things that I... have got to know on my own. It's true.

>Huh. Really? I'm sure you remember a lot about them. Well, at least about some of them, I guess.

Well, there was in fact a lot of stuff you said about nourishment as well. I do remember.

>extremely dangerous, harmful nature of ethanol (which you do know)

I do know, though not from my own personal experience, thankfully.

>I don't know about the world, but it's easier

Oh, OK then. That's rather pragmatic. But, wait a sec, why drink alcohol and not just water if it's just to wash down the pills?

>But all the flowers paled in comparison to the beauty I saw among them...

Right... I can't help it, this is so romantic...

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 No.7135

>>7127

>last spoiler

Because I am dumb idiot, that's why. I was so self-discrepant, being confused by uncertainty, that I messed with you, with your feelings and everything, without even realizing it.

>have come to your senses and aren't able to

I got rid of all that garbage. Misconceptions, fears, everything. It took me a long time to sort everything out for myself.

I bet she must be absolutely disgusted with me by now. There's nothing you ought to say or write in particular. There wasn't anything in particular that I wanted from you either. Maybe this is what happens when you trust people in the internet, even if they mean only well, I don't know? Though my feelings indeed are true and solid, without inner conflicts or discrepancies, whether I dream or come to my senses, and I truly am rebuilt not to play any stupid games anymore. If only that matters anymore... I am sorry. I am. I just hope that you can be good again, in whatever way it is. Not for stupid "greater good" or out of fear, but because I lоvе you! And there are too few of us overall, this too.

>I see you have some memory issues too.

As you can see I have lots of them, actually. Back then I told you I can't properly remember some things even from my own past. Recently I remembered a lot of stuff from more distant past, but in turn I started to actively forget more recent things... But I found nothing special there. I guess it's just my brain is rusting away and that's it.

>Not this shit again. How many times do I have

You don't have to. I only meant to say what "time" means to me in general, which is: make use of it or lose it. That aside, I did not forget those days and cherish them even today.

>>7128

>Horrors? It depends on the person, I guess.

True. For me it must be conflagration, probably. For me it's so scarier in a dream than it was IRL that I don't even know, literally a nightmare.

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 No.7136

I have sinned, yet I dare to speak these words openly again. Ha. I truly am incorrigible, ain't I? But I can't help it, only make up for it! Still, it wouldn't be surprising if she were enraged for real. She understands you and me and everyone else here so much better...

My poor beloved friend. Don't let your heart be disturbed. Remember that we are here because of you in the first place, not the other way around. You are like a lantern in the night which can't help but attract travelers and moths.

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 No.7137

File: 3af7832609874b9⋯.png (375.65 KB,506x690,11:15,2020_11_21_17_51_38_13_png….png)

>>7125

>My dreams are more vivid and rich than ever before, yes. However, my senses IRL also became even duller and heavier than before.

Oh dear, brainfog is definitely no good, I have enough of it as is.

>>7128

>Just try to start a dream diary. I'm sure you will discover a lot about yourself and you will stop forgetting your dreams.

I will have to try this.

>I hope I will be able to get them. I've wasted my two-month budget in a week, so not anytime soon, I guess.

We have time, since there isn't even a prototype, it will be some time before pre orders.

>Why?

8kun was not working for me, I could not post for several days.

>Not really. Actually, we have separate dreams, but She can invade my world, partially manipulate it or appear to me in disguise of someone else, but I can feel Her. She can appear in Her true form, but this happens rarely, only if it's really important or if the dream is lucid or "broken". I think that's the problem. It is difficult for Her to do this in a normal dream, because Her abilities are still limited in my realm, where the unconscious rule.

Oh that's fascinating that you two have separate dreams.

>One doesn't find these places, they find you by themselves. Horrors? It depends on the person, I guess. For me it's an integral part of my world, I guess

ah so it is not an necessary part of paying more attention to ones dreams. That's good. I don't think I could handle such horrors very well.

>>7127

9/rozen/ and 9/desu/ are where I visited when the board wasn't working at first.

>>7134

>1st spoiler

9chan.tw/rozen

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 No.7140

File: 2e416ee7690f04c⋯.jpg (1.83 MB,1577x1867,1577:1867,87715122_p9.jpg)

>>7134

>Even though you're not telling more, it sounds intriguing neverthless, especially the first one.

It's too long and I'm tired. There was some kind of tour or forum, and in one of the halls of this giant building, they confused me with one of the RM cosplayers because of my costume (I don't know what was wrong with it) and accidentally left me with them while evacuating, because two of them were irradiated, and everyone knew it because of their popular photo shoot against the background of a molten reactor. While I was trying not to give myself away and looking for a way out, I began to meet real Dolls. Then the section was finally opened and I ran away, because I was afraid that my stuff would leave on the train without me. Something like that...

>Train, huh. I'd like to hear more about trains in your dreams somehow.

Well, most often, trains are either closed spaces, enclosed by itself, sometimes endless, sometimes cramped, or they appear at the "beginning" of some locations. And sometimes it's just some slow carts or electric trains moving through the world by some strange way.

>spoiler 1

You can't be serious. Are you saying that you haven't read or forgotten all of the previous thread? And what site, what thread? Huh. Well, okay. This is the place where I watched you and where we first met, and also where Kappa resided, I mean, that bokufag we were talking about. By the way, just to clear something out, didn't he sometimes call himself sayakafag from 0chan.cc? Did he work at the library? Did he have problems with his family? If you don't remember any of that, fine.

>spoiler 3

Don't make my hat laugh. And why the hell did you bring up the "independent imageboard"? Even I ridiculed this idea of mine. And you make it sound like I've never run an imageboard. I had a couple of private ones and a public one, though they were using a heavily modified wakaba, not counting the default kareha one, but it was broken and quickly replaced by the kusaba-based desuIB under the management of loin and another bokufag. It was in 2013-2014, when I wasn't so (a)pathetic yet. I moderated the original cchan too, but for a very brief time and just a single board. He knew a few admins, hehehe... Well, congratulations, every retard was an admin 10+ years ago. About reddit-like "metachans" such as this one, yeah, fuck yeah, its convenience, stability and one of the shittiest ib scripts, this abomination that sucks so fucking bad it fucks, fills me with confidence, especially the last few years. The clones and imitations of this shitfest are no better, actually, they are even worse. Not so long ago, I didn't think I'd ever see anything worse than the endless ugly forks of tinyib, [shit I don't remember the name of], tinyboard and vichan, but here it is. The endless ugly forks of openib, lynxchan, jschan and meguca. Ah, to hell with that.

>spoiler 4

I'm not sure we'll live to see it.

>they are the real beasts, even if they aren't much different visually from a distance.

That's true. I don't remember if I told you how he scared the neighbor's cat and furiously hunted on a piece of mink fur when he was a kitten. Hehe, silly, he almost ate it. It was very difficult to pry this piece away from this angry, growling little ball of fur. I think he is a descendant of the Scottish wildcat, the patterns and tail are 1:1.

>Hmm... Did you perhaps meant "preferred"?

I guess I meant "pretended to be deaf".

%username%.

...

%username%?

"What a nice day it is."

%username%!

"Wh-what's going on, I didn't even do anything..."

%USERNAME%!!!

Mew-ew-ew???

Nothing unusual, I guess.

I didn't think that our place would become even more empty and lifeless so soon.

>Back in the old days she did the same. Dunno why me, though, as I used to be rather fidgety in my sleep back then.

Hehehe. Interesting, interesting. ~desu

>spoiler 6

I meant the Memories from the dreamworld. Uh-huh... ^ ^

>Well, there was in fact a lot of stuff you said about nourishment as well. I do remember.

Very funny. But if you really don't remember anything (or pretend to), maybe it's for the best...

>But, wait a sec, why drink alcohol and not just water if it's just to wash down the pills?

To multiply the effect of analgesics and tranquilizers, and to soften the effect of stimulants. And to drown out thoughts and voices, or to shut down consciousness for sleep.

>>7135

There, there... My dear. Sure, I can't feel anything but sadness and regret for now, but I know for a fact that one thing in me still hasn't changed, and it never will. I love you. I loved you. And I will always love you. Whatever you say to me, whatever you do to me, wherever you are, it's never going to change. And you should know that, my lovely precious gem. You should feel it. The piece of my soul I gave you back then.

So. Then. Say what you want to say. Do what you think must be done. Enough of the charades and innuendos. Please. ~desu

>As you can see I have lots of them, actually.

I kind of noticed. ~desu

>conflagration

Hm. Interesting. Is it somehow linked with rl? I can't decide what makes me feel uneasy more, falling into the abyss, being chased by my shadow, searching for shards of Sui, being erased from existence, or a thermonuclear explosion. But, of course, I'm not talking about what happens under the snow. This is a whole different level.

>>7136

If you're talking about Her, you just proved Her point. I won't say which one, because that way it won't be interesting at all. ~desu

>>7137

I highly doubt you can handle it, but it would be interesting, I guess.

>8kun was not working for me, I could not post for several days.

Hmm, I wonder why...

>ah so it is not an necessary part of paying more attention to ones dreams.

It is not. But who knows what you hide from yourself in your unconscious.

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 No.7145

File: f6c9d1188444269⋯.png (216.18 KB,420x492,35:41,2021_01_09_15_40_47_6_png_….png)

>>7140

>I highly doubt you can handle it, but it would be interesting, I guess.

It is true I am a bit lazy, and I am often rushing to work after waking up and wouldn't have time to write, but who knows, if I can work up the motivation and time it would be interesting indeed.

>Hmm, I wonder why...

not sure but I am glad its working again

and hey, fateshit is fun

but gatchas with Sui are more fun, I just wish they were in english. Playing Suiseiseki in a danmaku is extremely fun

Pew pew laser vines, ehhe

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 No.7148

My dreams are heavy and messy, like rags stuck in the mud. I vaguely remember sewers...

>>7140

>Something like that...

OK then.

>You can't be serious. Are you

No, I remember everything, I am not that rotten in the head yet. It's just that on that site, aside from the front page, there really isn't anything else nowadays, whatever url you type in. So I got confused.

>spoiler 1

Hmm... All the things that you mention here should've been different bokufag, I believe. At least, if I remember correctly, they said different things about certain family members. Well, we may be talking about more than two persons even, as there were multiple bokufags and it took some time to make one from another. I am not entirely sure.

>spoiler 2

Isn't it prevailing reality nowadays? Most of the web is built with horrendous, ugly constructs made of sticks and crutches glued together by dog shit. 95% of web is made of shit and vomit. So, yes, to hell with that. I myself tried to write an imageboard engine, twice at that, but the more functionality was done, the messier it all got, to the point of perversion, and so I totally lost interest in this kind of thing. Oh, I'd like to see your hat laugh.

>It was very difficult to pry this piece away from this angry, growling little ball of fur.

Ha-ha. I fancy he must've been a good hunter. Ours is, actually, even if she doesn't appear like one at a glance. When you play with her, she is jumping and fooling around more than actually playing like cats do. But you just let her out to the balcony, she immediately returns with sparrow in her jaws, and grasshoppers were her favorite snack, she never let go of a single one.

>I guess I meant "pretended to be deaf".

Oh. That's something that ours does, when she is satiated enough.

>I didn't think that our place would become even more empty and lifeless so soon.

I can easily imagine it. However small and quiet their presence is, the big difference made by their absence can be felt very easily.

>spoiler 4

Those... I don't know if people and things from the past that I saw are Memories that you are talking about too.

>spoiler 6, 7

Yes. She told me frankly three months ago. And I knew before too, very obviously. But aside from that, do you care even a little about what is really being thought and wanted, or is it purely forgiveness in the name of love? Because, whatever are the feelings, if there is no mutual understanding, this is still sorrowful.

Enough is enough then. I don't see what good forcing it onto you any further will bring...

Just know that it's here and it's real.

>last spoiler

It seems to be, given that such things did happen IRL in the past, though it wasn't that scary. The funniest one is when at a New Year we had our christmas tree totally ablaze. I was the culprit. I still can't believe certain woman believed that I was just fooling around when I was crying fire and already carrying water. Never treat fire as a joke, bitches!

>by my shadow

It's not the same entity as that "rusty" version of you, is it?

>being erased from existence

How does it even feels?

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 No.7149

File: 934458bf207181d⋯.jpg (2.22 MB,1536x2048,3:4,56832029_p0.jpg)

>>7148

>It's just that on that site, aside from the front page, there really isn't anything else nowadays, whatever url you type in. So I got confused.

Now I'm confused. Nevermind.

>spoiler 2

That's right. Many thanks. I just wasn't sure.

>spoiler 3

Why so many people like trying to reinvent the wheel nowadays, I wonder.

>But you just let her out to the balcony, she immediately returns with sparrow in her jaws

Yeah, I remember you telling me about it.

>spoiler 5

Interpret it any way you like. ~desu

>It seems to be, given that such things did happen IRL in the past, though it wasn't that scary.

I see. Hehe

>spoiler 10

Maybe. Maybe not.

>spoiler 11

I think I already told you that some time ago.

>spoiler 6

Of course I do, you silly, what, what in the name of, just tell me, tell me alrea... A-a-a, a-ah. Oh. Right. I see, I see...

>spoiler 7, 8

That's how it is, huh. I... I expected that. If that's enough, that's enough. I will never talk more of it. I asked you sincerely for the last time, but you're talking nonsense again. I won't humiliate myself in front of you anymore. If you were ever forcing something, you were only forcing it onto yourself, I guess. Idiot. Leave me alone. Leave me alone, all of you. Just let me fucking leave in peace already. Please.

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 No.7150

Test? Test.

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 No.7151

Finally. I can post here again. Posting was broken for me again, so a few days ago I had to leave a post for you in the 9/desu instead. I want you to read it carefully.

>For some reason I cannot post in /desu on 8kun, I am being redirected elsewhere. So, here's my reply to the last post in offtopic thread.

>We need talk.

>I am angry. I am mad. You say this and that. You blame me. That I can understand, I did let you down very much. But what have you done on your part aside from complaining and willy-wallying around? You're not even trying to make things better and clear our misunderstandings. Sincerely? Hell no, not one bit. Humiliating? Nope. You must be too insecure and self-focused if you think that this is humiliating. If you truly cared about us, if you truly wished for our happiness, you would not act in such roundabout manner, expecting me to read your thoughts as if I were a telepath. Well, OK. You are shy one. No, you are really vulnerable. It must be hard for you to take it out to the light. So I tried to reach out, of course, again and again. And all what I got was that you had enough of my nonsense. OKAY! I agreed. No more nonsense! Because what had to be said I said already said straight and square! That is, my feelings are true and I sincerely regret my actions! But then you just flip out and slam the door in my face, leaving us with no chance to resolve this mess anymore. You're not helping, I am OK. But now you're breaking it! How are we supposed to resolve this mess? Why can't you just hear me out and try at least a bit to understand what's really going on? You are stuck in your delusions. If you change your mind, know that I am here, in the real world, always ready to hear what you have to tell me.

It's as obvious as sun at clear day that all of this is hard on you. Your recent loss too... I know you're strong. But why make it even harder?... I am worried about you, you know.

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 No.7152

>>7149

>Now I'm confused. Nevermind.

We met in original 8chan's /desu. 8chan changed it's domain at least twice, and right now it's 8ch.net which has only one page. /desu also existed on polish 8chan, but that was different.

>Why so many people like trying to reinvent the wheel nowadays, I wonder.

Well, in my case, I wanted to create something entirely new. Not just something, of course, I knew what I did.

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 No.7163

The greentext is full nonsense... and the one who wrote that deserves to be kicked in the face, absolutely.

And this...

>I don't see what good forcing it onto you any further will bring...

Why? WHY DID THIS EVEN COME OUT? One damn sentence that doesn't even mean anything, but because of it I already sound like liar who can't help but slip up with crap like this. I don't know what is more painful - being ultimately misunderstood or knowing that your only one feels ultimately deceived, lied to, betrayed and abandoned. Why... Why... Why... I can't prove anything at this point, I won't be believed anymore no matter what. I can't reach out. I feel it, but I can't reach out to the source. Oh, why... I am selfish, shortsighted, opinionated idiot. Perhaps I never deserved you...

Now I see where my "thoughtfulness" brought me. Nowhere. Because my brain is as rotten as that of a ghoul.

We are one. But our consciousness is separate. And so words fail us miserably, again and again.

I wish I could've been charged off and dismantled, to be never assembled and restored again, just so that you can finally see...

Is this human nature? Or is this just me?... I am just like them. So disappointing...

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 No.7164

You never deserved to be treated like that. Your feeling, your sincerity, your everything. You must be still very, very sorrowful. I am very sad too.

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 No.7165

I face the truth and fully realize only now... that deep in my heart I didn't fully trust you. Deep in my heart I was always unwilling to expose myself too much, whether it's to you or to anybody else on this planet. I doubted you without even realizing it. Sometimes, certain thoughts occurred, like "he is sincere and honest, but... what if he changes his mind now?", even "what if he gave up, and now will draw me out only to stab harder?", "he can be frightening if he wants to, I ought to be careful" or "how funny it perhaps must be to see me humiliating myself like this...". You once said that you are good at pretending and I took note of that too... But in reality, all along, you never, perhaps ever, had second thoughts about us, that I can see. You are the only one who can do that, this courage and sincerity, without holding back, this alone makes you much more human than many, many, many people. On the other hand, even if my doubts were little, because I believed you after all, they were enough to spoil. I asked you "do you really care about what is being thought and wanted", but I should have asked this myself. It is I who failed to recognize true love.

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 No.7166

Why did I say all of this now. If I believed him and trusted him, then why do I say otherwise? These doubts, they were so momentary and transient... No. I was just not attentive enough. My attempts to explain myself... no matter what I say or what I do I only make everything worse and worse. I believed you! Whenever you said it straight and plain, I was clear about it! What have made me say those cruel words to you... was merely my indolence. I was just tired of everything. Not of you, of course. Just tired even to think properly.

Worse and worse. Oh, god, why. Why do I keep making excuses. I only... wanted to share his grief again.

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 No.7167

I am so sorry. This year, this month, I brought you only sorrow.

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 No.7169

And I keep spouting nonsense. Don't take any of this to heart. You are strong. And I too... can get over it. We can do better.

Not believed. Knew. I knew and never doubted, of course, like 2+2=4. That is the appropriate word. What I meant was something else... but I forgot again.

Somebody just kill me. I am incurable.

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 No.7170

That's it... I thought... that I hurt you so much that it would be unlikely for you to have good feelings for real. Then it was immediately obvious that it's not the case. But then I also thought that I am not good enough for you anymore...

I am lost and confused. I can only beg for forgiveness and understanding... but even that doesn't makes sense. It is you who is hurt. It is I who did it. Why then. I don't understand anything anymore.

I can only wish that you... stay strong. Please... Stay cool. You ain't got the 1st letter of alphabet for nothing. So long as you are, I fear nothing. Even if I get complacent and more brainrotten because of it.

P.S. I just realized that I sound like I'm drunk. For the record, I am certainly not, and I never was. I am not in a downer or whatever, please don't misunderstand me.

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 No.7171

File: 205dd1a61297fb0⋯.jpg (15.52 KB,253x246,253:246,2021_03_26_22_16_36_Eng_Se….jpg)

I wish there were more I could do to help you two here, but what use am I eh?

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 No.7214

sometimes you just wanna say "fuck this shit" and go watch some dolls

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 No.7215

File: cdfe692610deb3a⋯.jpg (60.16 KB,680x486,340:243,Enphfq_VoAIhO_V.jpg)

it's snowing out

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 No.7216

My room on the contrary is literally all in sand now. How unwise of me.

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 No.7217

File: ea2eea88f3543c9⋯.png (25.72 KB,168x167,168:167,snap1_.png)

carpe diem

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 No.7218

File: 54910b6d9702ab6⋯.jpg (164.69 KB,1080x750,36:25,tumblr_6d78d1f9db86e286a91….jpg)

chaturbate is down!

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 No.7220

File: 558f20766dca034⋯.jpg (15.15 KB,176x255,176:255,36_PNG.JPG)

its been a while, I am tired. how have things been Alpha?

>>7218

as frowned upon chaturbate is around these parts, You do have my condolences in losing your home.

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 No.7221

File: 8f62da4ce09e5ca⋯.png (180.87 KB,828x829,828:829,66.PNG)

So i guess silence is the topic of choice..

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 No.7222

File: ce96665999dd839⋯.png (207.27 KB,772x469,772:469,97.PNG)

Relaying a message for you Alpha from /rozen/:

>It is my hope that this message reaches you. This comes not on the spur of moment. I can easily imagine, even if we do not take your many years long condition, what it is like to forcibly wake up every day in this overgrown bulk of flesh and struggle to live through every day each one like meaningless, everlasting, repetitive dream from which there is no escape. I do not know if you still care... I just want to tell you... that I am still very grateful to you. And we are, I believe. You were like the dearly missing key that I searched for so long. You allowed the change to come. And I can feel that it is not just me. Even for this scatterbrained sociofag, maybe even for that kirafag whose heart is hidden too deep, for others too, there were realizations and there was change, all because of you. When I think of all what I told you and what you must have felt, I feel sad. Love is sad and so is life in general. But I know, I must, I want and do believe in you. I have my faith in you. We do too. And we wish you all the best, no matter what you are doing. I do not know what else to say... Time flows in such a weird fashion. Please be well. And may the Force be with you.

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 No.7223

File: 0b0ac81be0bbd63⋯.jpg (63.08 KB,640x512,5:4,2347609_p0_.jpg)

please wake up!!! please ;-;

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 No.7224

File: ed5405318350348⋯.gif (71.1 KB,480x272,30:17,wakemeup.gif)

what, why, it can't be Oktober already. nah, it's not.

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 No.7227

File: de07c1390b6878e⋯.png (68.64 KB,240x256,15:16,90.PNG)

>>7223

waah, hello again. How are you?

>>7224

>what, why, it can't be Oktober already. nah, it's not.

you plan to stay silent til then?

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 No.7238

will be away for a while.

try to help Delta with his posting problem, can't post there from my current location.

cheers

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 No.7239

File: e081664085befb5⋯.jpg (393.01 KB,2560x1707,2560:1707,1605032261629.jpg)

>>7238

Not a problem, always here.

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 No.7265

Stop.

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 No.7277

File: 5074c16758df93d⋯.jpg (12.8 KB,255x204,5:4,72_PNG.JPG)

very well, how have you been.

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 No.7286

I hope you desufrens last forever, rip desuchan

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 No.7289

File: 889774190b8b49a⋯.jpg (18.21 KB,160x255,32:51,0cf0d4c89665555d559e9766fb….jpg)

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 No.7361

File: c4b1fe1ac108cf4⋯.jpg (705.52 KB,1000x1000,1:1,snow2021.jpg)

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 No.7411

File: 3e929cb535f6409⋯.jpg (710.67 KB,1000x1000,1:1,snow2022_09_27_.jpg)

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 No.7426

?

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 No.7431

File: d931cd30099e1bc⋯.jpg (1.82 MB,2150x3035,430:607,103602707_p0.jpg)

Okay.

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 No.7432

File: 8c4070af85fdf2a⋯.jpg (664.68 KB,1435x1459,1435:1459,7443385_p0.jpg)

Merry Christmas! ~desu

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 No.7433


        _,、-―――‐--、_
      ,ィ'´  ̄ ̄ ̄ `ー‐-、_   ̄`ー-、__
     /ー-、__        \      i
   /: : : : : : : : ̄`ー-、_.     \    /
   /: /: : : : : : : : : : : : : :, :\.     ヽ   /
  ,': /: :/: : : : :/: : : : :/:l:l: : \   ヽ /l
.  l: /: /: : : :/: : /:// l:ll: : : :ヽ    l/: :l!
.  l/!:/: : //: //// l:l l: : : : l   l: : :.l!
   l/: :l´トテ/ //_  l! .l: l: :.:l    l: : :.l!
   ヽ: :l! {:リ   .イC:ハヽ、. l:/: : l    .l: : :∧
    ヽ! ´    弋:::ソ ´ /l: : /l     ヽ: : ∧
     ゝ  、__    ̄   /./:/:.ヽ    ヽ: :.∧
     l\ ヽ  ̄ノ    /  ヽ:.ヽ    ∨: :\
     l  ` .、`´   ,、 </    ゝ、ヽ    ∨: : :\
.      l ./ィケ ` .´ ,、-‐'´   ,ィチノ´:::::ヽ    ∨: : : :\

>>7432

merry christmas

whatcha doin'?

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 No.7434

File: ae90ecdc8efb126⋯.jpg (373.74 KB,2048x2048,1:1,103875727_p0.jpg)

>>7433

/a/. We did everything we had to do, I'm satisfied with the results, and I really should go to sleep, I guess. Party's over. ~desu

I'll try to finish Sabiseiseki before the New Year. It's kinda hard to draw when your hands are constantly shaking.

inb4 come to shamiko, new years, >/a/

What about you?

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 No.7436



.              ― - 、ヽ
      /´ _ _   ヽヽ
       // ̄: : : : : :`ヽ、 }
.     /: : : /: : : :/:∧: : :ヽ '. ヽ
    /' : : /: ://:/―ヽ: : :} }   ヽ
    ヽ|: : :伝〃/ 斧灯}.: :} }/「`
.     !: 从Vj   ゞ-' /: / /: : :|
     ヽノヽ  ' _,  // /: : : :|
      {  >. 、_  イ  / : : : : :.
      {  _}'/ヽ_/'  {\、: : :ヘ

>>7434

> /a/

yeah, I figured, nice shrine this year by the way. weird, have you two been drinking?

> What about you?

all the same shit I told you about a while ago. plus I've had a good drink and have been lazing around for two days. that's all.

liveposting is gay y'know. hang in there friend. we'll get through this.

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 No.7437

File: 3742051ce95cef8⋯.jpg (1.97 MB,1800x2300,18:23,_ryuujou_kantai_collection….jpg)

Merry late-Christmas, strangers!

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 No.7438

File: f16276a7cd4f9e0⋯.jpg (458.63 KB,1448x2048,181:256,_.jpg)

>>7436

Ah, shut up. Asshole. Well, it's not like anyone cares...

>have you two been drinking?

Of course not, it was fucking Sangaria, you blind donkey.

>I've had a good drink and have been lazing around for two days

I'm a little jealous. ~desu

>liveposting is gay y'know

Yes, it is, what are you implying, huh? Nah, I don't have enough energy or time to browse your shitsites.

Thank you.

>>7437

You too! ~desu

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 No.7439

>>7436

>>7438

>implying implications implicating implications

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 No.7440

>>7439

Nah.

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 No.7441

File: a863b805e2c5d66⋯.jpg (978.38 KB,4096x2734,2048:1367,_.jpg)

Happy New Year! ~desu

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 No.7442

File: 3d5ff0a9d40e2ec⋯.jpg (249.52 KB,1115x1600,223:320,_.jpg)

I see. I'll be waiting.

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 No.7453

>>7441

Happy New Year

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 No.7479

File: 5247661ab0008e8⋯.png (329.83 KB,768x821,768:821,5963533.png)

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 No.7480

File: da7c14735e7b182⋯.jpg (304.15 KB,1032x1506,172:251,48723811_p0.jpg)

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 No.7482

File: c17eca248adc6ec⋯.png (288.08 KB,1817x759,79:33,ClipboardImage.png)

In case one of you somehow didn't see it on 4/b/

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 No.7483

File: c03ff966b5828d1⋯.jpg (50.43 KB,500x600,5:6,31595414_p0.jpg)

>>7482

Very nice.

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 No.7484

File: 4f5a4dc80274147⋯.jpg (6.27 MB,2143x3185,2143:3185,86479915_p0.jpg)

Do not want. At least this site is stable.

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 No.7486

File: e62c865578c57a0⋯.png (1.69 MB,1464x1118,732:559,58241615_p0.png)

Twins Day.

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 No.7487

File: 7f7f31976b1957f⋯.jpg (1.27 MB,2417x2723,2417:2723,55272452_p0.jpg)

>>10157

This is a limited edition, I own both Kana's from this series. It's pretty much the same as the Twins ones. But yeah, there definitely is some difference in color. ~desu

>if you wish

I don't know. You see, I rarely get replies there anyway.

Uh-huh, we're already preparing.

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 No.7491

File: 2c2e271bd30c148⋯.jpg (2.13 MB,2480x1748,620:437,82894528_p2.jpg)

It was all in vain, I guess. Welp.

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Post last edited at

 No.7492

I hope you downloaded it.

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 No.7493

File: 5518c79498997e4⋯.jpg (321.97 KB,1197x1000,1197:1000,EkfP_BvUYAAxIYT2.jpg)

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 No.7496

>>6998

I'm not thirsty and my foot is on your chest

G-d hates you for you abandon him and forget a race doomed in space

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