/desu/ - Desu

yawn

Aahh~

Good morning, Babylon! ~desu

some light shed on tefuko, very nice. How are all you? hop you had a happy new year. I am feeling the nails, but am happy.

I had a very pleasant new year, it was quite nice. Glad you are doing well.

>some light shed on tefuko, very nice.

Of course, of course! ~desuyo

>>7001

You are happy!

>>7002

And it was nice and pleasant!

Fun, fun, so fun, I guess! I'm so glad! ~desu

I guess you didn't like my hat, but it's alright, because I like it!

>>7003

was super cute

>>7004

Love you!!!

>>7003

>spoiler

Oh Silly me I forgot to respond, I loved the hat, very koishi! Very cute!

My only complaint is you hide that pretty hair of yours

>>7006

Ehehehe, thank you, thank you! ~desu

Oh, no, no, it's there, it just requires a /desu/ Rosa Mystica Account™. If you don't have it, you may not be able to see it. ^ ^

>>7010

Bumplimit.

Hehehehe.

>>7016

Is it completely unplayable for you? How lame!

Huh, how interesting. As you may remember, I always hated Unity with passion, but never experienced problems such as yours. Well. Maybe I had. But just a little. Could it be that you still don't know how to properly tame a Windows machine and force it into submission? Do you even have one? Or maybe the problem is that you have these strange overheating folding things without peripherals, instead of personal computers? Scary, scary! No, not the hat, and not really invisible. Ehehe!

Ah, I see you still haven't played the games. How sad, I guess!

>>7018

Me? 2011? Maybe. But I'm not sure about that. Why not 2010 or 2012, for instance? And what exactly has become good about these things? Um, yes, more like this! Well, you know, like a small pebble on the roadside. Maybe she's in your room right now, sitting next to you, looking at you and following you everywhere, but you don't notice her because you can't perceive her existence. Until she lets you see her or you two make a direct contact. Or maybe she unconsciously wants you to notice her... But you'll forget her right after you lose sight of her anyway. ~desu

Unless Hope...

>last spoiler

A shame. No fun. That's nice, I guess. What game(s)? And how is it going?

>>7020

Ah~n. I was sleeping, perhaps a bit too much, and also fighting this pesky apathy of mine while awake. I'm sorry. And, and it's no fun replying without trying that game for yourself, right? Yes. It's absolutely no fun. I had all the time, but still...

SuiSitting.png

Um, nevermind. ~desu

>spoiler 1

Arch? ^ ^

>because having it for myself was still more convenient than sharing computer with someone else

Mmhm, makes sense, I guess.

>Nowadays they can be as decently stronk as their big kin while keeping their portability.

Hmm... Well, for example... Can I at least quickly swap the HDDs in them in the times of need? And won't they burn my house? Ehehe.

>spoiler 2

You probably wouldn't. Because that ability, or rather, that side effect (including the ability to manipulate the unconscious) comes with a price, a huge price. Your heart, your mind. Your conscious. It will be buried, sealed, if not destroyed. You would be a walking, unpredictable, unconscious disaster, thinking with instincts, reflexes, and your unconscious desires. Shoplifting for money? Hah. I doubt it. But you have no third eye to close because of pain and being hated, as you're not a satori youkai, worry not. Interesting. Would you like to be a satori? You... Hmm. I guess not.

>spoiler 3

The Mask of Hope. Nevermind.

>spoiler 4

Touhou Project. Obviously, I guess. Ah, but this really is 2021, not 2011. What am I even talking about... That's right. Sorry.

>Got 0.112b patch for 2kki

>If 0.113 had eng translation, which really makes for great convenience with so many effects, I'd take that one.

Somewhere after that version all of the maps wataru made are gone. It's pretty sad because they were extensive and well made. The depths previously the deepest location in the game and almost everything leading to them were removed for example. Well, I've heard there's like 100+ maps added since wataru's were removed, but unfortunately along with wataru’s maps another authors maps were also removed (flickering lights lab, butterfly forest, underground volcano).

>They were removed because the author is putting them in their own game I think?

>Funny enough I’ve tried their game and haven’t seen hide nor tail of those areas, so who knows what’s up with them.

¯\(°_o)/¯

>All I do is keep running into some doom-like monsters. Also saw sequence of scenes in that previously dark last room in the slums, and you know, it does bears some obviously creepy implications.

Did you get the two previous endings? The first one, just leaving the room after collecting all of the effects, and the second one, after discarding all of the effects into the computer while in flow, becoming Rust, and leaving the room afterwards? From now on, while playing as Rust, you must find three "empty boxes" effects in those, err, dark rooms that you couldn't get into before, while trying not to die. Then go to the elevator that replaces the computer in the flow after the last box is collected. Then go outside... And witness the true ending.

I hope you saved.

>There are also re:in and the looking glass shortcuts on my desktop

Ah, The Looking Glass, huh. Nice, I guess. And "re:in", hmmm... Familiar, but I don't remember it.

>a glitch that makes you fast, faster, then faster even, and maybe even faster than light. Forever.

Hehe, hehehehe!

>>7021

Interesting, very interesting, that looks like fun! I really should try it, I guess. Um... Any more progress? ~deska

>with nothing else but traffic cone

Tsk.

Everyone is too lazy too busу being on 4chan, twatter, that particular board and their chaturbate these days, it seems. ~desu

sigh

Today, i turned 29.

Ah, dear Twins, I'm literally freezing. I can't feel my legs. It's been 15 hours. Good thing I still have electricity and tanks of ethanol. Yeah, right, let's waste some more money because of these fucking imbeciles and their leaky pipes, while it's -30°C outside. City of light, city of MAGIC!

>>7028

Oh. Happy happy birthday, I guess!.. Was it happy? I really hope so! ~desu

I really need to get myself together, otherwise it wouldn't be fun. ~dessu

oeoeo

>>7026

>also fighting this pesky apathy of mine while awake.

You are not alone there, apathy has been strong all week. I blame work, coming home tired and exhausted

>Everyone is too lazy too busу being on 4chan, twatter, that particular board and their chaturbate these days, it seems. ~desu

Eh, mostly working, working working, switching between nights and days and nights. Only twatter is easy to post on mobile, but even that hellsite is a bit of a pain.

>>7028

happy belated birthday, hopefully a cause for celebration, I hope.

>>7030

Oh dear, that is no good, pile up piles of blankets on them to warm yourself. An igloo of blankets eheheh.

Is it snowing at least? It is here.

I need to be less lazy, but my legs ache, im not used to so much walking, walking, walking.

>>7027

I'm sorry. Sometimes I couldn't even get out of bed, let alone say anything. But I've been verbally talking to the imaginary you all this time, apologizing and trying to explain things. Kind of funny, isn't it? I should do something. I feel I'm shutting down. Perhaps it was a bit too much. But I won't fall back, I guess. It's too late, right? Or not? I... I don't really care anymore, I guess. Right?..

"Nootropic" psychostimulants, dopamine agonists and more benzodiazepines should do it. I hope. I don't want to involve activating antipsychotics. They will require correctors, such as anticholinergics, antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and therefore even more benzodiazepines. And I must quit alcohol and switch metamizole to ketorolac again. But for now, let's just try this "Phenotropil 2: Electric Boogaloo", aka "Nanotropil".

pants

Oh, wow, I finally said something...

Yes, I know. It happens a lot.

>So you didn't play it either.

I did. I meant re:in. Therefore no fun replying. ~desu

>And it will get only worse globally, of course.

I know.

>last spoiler

Maybe.

Any progress?..

Ah. Right. I thought... What if... Um. Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?

>>7031

No amount of blankets can save you when the reinforced concrete walls around you and under you are cooling to subzero temperatures.

>Is it snowing at least?

Almost everyday. ~desu

>>7035

Ridiculous, that's an understatement, I guess. They fixed their shit after a few more hours. But I wasted half a liter of 40% ethanol. I feel cheated.

>>7036

puts his hat on your head

>>7037

>No amount of blankets can save you when the reinforced concrete walls around you and under you are cooling to subzero temperatures.

I felt cold just reading that. Please try to stay warm however you can.

I am glad your heating is fixed. Sorry about the ethanol though. Do you only have so much for winter, or do you have to buy more?

It works. Alright.

>>7038

I really think it's the other way around. ^ ^

>But I doubt it'll make either of us happier

And that's where I lose the thread. Nevertheless, are you sure about that? And you can experience happiness if the conditions are met. And you can't hurt me anymore, you know.

>my hands are still as empty as ever.

It's like my hands are like a cornucopia or something.

Again. Why?.. And "apologize"... Is that what I think it is? Nevermind. I'm in a completely emotionless state, so I may misinterpret your words. I'm sorry.

>Do be careful with what you're doing, though.

If it's going to kill me, it's not gonna be today, I guess.

>Aside from a rather general interpretation of her finally succumbing to her own other, insane side, maybe.

What about her real physical illiness/ her unconscious side? Especially the first.

>Is it about the games? Or is it about project touhou? Or is it about me?

I'd say it was about me. Or more like about us, maybe. I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel a pinch of something I can't really comprehend. And quickly lose it.

>I do see something, aside from those loads of incomprehensible gibberish.

I see an orange planet in a dying red light. It has giant four-dimensional rings. It's infinitely large and infinitely small, and it's also infinitely far and infinitely close. It's lonely out there. I know. Just like here. Here it became completely empty and dead. And very lonely. The snow turns into opaque black glass and shatters. The body hurts and doesn't want to move, the mind fades. I'm trying to do something, say something, feel something. But I can't. I can't. I can't even feel the rage or sadness from it. I'm just floating into oblivion, digging through my dead and repressed memories, trying to evoke whatever feeling I should have had from them. This shouldn't have happened. But I don't know what's wrong, I don't know what to do anymore.

>I see grey sands under grey skies

Comfy.

>Is that it?

It is.

>Thx.

I really hope that you don't hate it.

>>7039

Huh...

>>7040

I don't feel anxious. I only feel that something is wrong, something is missing. And it seems that even They were recently disconnected from me. Or rather, more likely, I was disconnected from everyone by my own uncontrollable repressions. sigh

>>7041

^ ^

. . .

>>7042

I've already said that. It's up to you, not me. It's all up to you...

>>7043

>Sorry about the ethanol though. Do you only have so much for winter, or do you have to buy more?

I'm sorry, what? I just drank a lot of vodka for no good reason as it turned out later, and had a hangover as a bonus. Nothing more. ~desu

It works, a little too well, I'd say... So much anger and irritation. The vivid hallucinations returned. Well, at least that's something.

a few hours later

...Let's just say I'm very tired.

>>7046

You give me too much credit. And I... I apologize.

>Mice pillage granary seed after seed, y'know. But people pay no heed to this proverb.

I know. But I said "today". I'm not too sure about tomorrow, you know. I should have said "unfortunately" instead of "I guess" to avoid misunderstandings, I guess.

>Again, the data is insufficient. Just what kind of physical illness it should be?

What about the whole hospital thing, the doctor, ill and dead kids, Oreko, sick little Sabi in a bed, blood splatters and strange machinery in her "real" room, that area, exploding black-haired girls and fetus-like demons in there, Cleaners in gasmasks, the Kaibutsu, that event with her... "Mother"? Interesting variants of more literal metaphors come to mind. Just think about all that mess. ~desu

>Then there is "healing" through eating cakes, which, in my opinion, indicates that some issues are related to mentality.

I'm leaning more towards this interpretation, too. But why not try to combine both?

>Welcome to your own inner void. Again. It may take a while before you catch onto something.

So, you mean, like, another inner void inside of my inner void, I suppose? Something, huh...

>Let us observe it together, maybe?...

If you've really forgiven me, if you really care...

closes eyes

Why not.

>Never hated it before, more so now knowing what it's for.

Thank you. I really, really appreciate it. ~desu

>I hope that it's temporary and they will manage to reach out to you.

The connection is there, albeit weak, nonverbal. "Side effects"... No, the main culprit lies in me, in my ill unconscious desires, I know that for sure, me and only me.

>spoiler 3

Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. That's the problem, I guess.

>We're not in a rush. I myself am not.

>So, take my hand now.

And you, you take mine... And don't leave it...

Just tell me, please... Should I wake up the hobo?

...Or I should just drink some acetone for bone relaxation, shouldn't I?

Or am I very wrong again and you would like to feed the owls?..

You decide.

>last spoiler

You do have, my dear. You shouldn't. But if you... Only after me, okay? Or I will never forgive you.

I'm so tired. I'm sorry for this incomprehensible silly mess. ~desu

Oh well. I spent 21 hours non-stop on this post.

>>7050

>Damn. It must be hard to find balance, I know as well. From one bother to another.

It may not be necessary anymore. We just identified the problem and got rid of it. Thank you. Negative symptoms, the head slowly and painfully turning into a supernova, and drug post-effects remain, but there is little that can be done about it.

>perhaps, she must have been discharged for quite some time already.

But was she really discharged?

>Feel me alien. Feel free to do so. Did I not tell you? I only have one dream.

Sure. I do. You're almost as alien to me as anyone else. You feel. You have a dream. And you have your self. "Haha", indeed.

>Don't do anything unnecessary anymore.

Oh, I won't, you can be sure of that. ~desu

>Let us not disturb the sleeping.

This is not sleeping. Don't you notice that funny smell? It's not like there's much difference, I guess.

>spoiler train

I'm sure you know about the current state of my memory. Moreover, you didn't even tell me anything about that. Either you didn't really trust me even during that time, or you're a liar. I don't know, and I don't want to know.

>Maybe you should not

Maybe. Maybe not. I don't really care.

>Just say what you think

Everything is better with ice cream. But I disagree with that.

>if you wish to,

I don't wish to.

>and don't, if you don't.

But if I do say, does that mean that I do wish, even if I really don't wish at all?

Sorry for the delay, been reading all those conversations and old threads again. Why? Classified information! ~desu

I also really need to reread my "old" dream diary. And maybe start a new one. We must return to our roots before the end comes. But more importantly, I want to remember and understand my dreams the same way I used to. Now this is especially important, I guess, because a lot of things that were formerly part of the conscious were dumped there. And at some point I realized that I can livе there like I did before, years ago. That there's always someone waiting for me there. That I can be happy there. This empty plastic "reality" feels more artificial, fake and dreamlike than the dream world itself, and I've said it countless times, I guess.

I haven't told you any dreams for a long time, I guess.

I had a rather unusual dream today. Very, very unique. I haven't even been killed. I don't remember all the nightmares and scenes before that, but after escaping from a place where space itself was screaming and trying to crush me, I saw that the snow was bright as day, although it was "night". Amber streetlights were lit, and in the middle of a snowfield stood the tree under which I had first met that girl two decades ago. Next to it was a concrete cube that had some kind of rusty terminal on it. I looked at the screen and started to explain to you why I was gone for so long, but you just hugged me and asked something about me being cold. Kirafag was smiling and making jokes, about us, I guess, but suddenly he got serious, but with kind attitude, and asked if I found what I was looking for. I think I just said no. Tulpadesu said that it's alright, smoked, and began to tell the story of his travels or something, mentioning that Boatlights and co were somewhere nearby playing blackjack(?) at The City's Center, I suppose, I was so excited and happy to hear it, someone started setting off fireworks, I saw #07 and #12 in gasmasks. I gave Barafag my knife for some reason. I don't remember. We went for a walk. The dirty snow didn't sink under our feet. I started complaining and asking you something, but you interrupted me and said that I was never alone, and the things you told me last year were just a bad dream. Don't remember how, but shortly after that I found myself in a truck with Kanaria driving, going somewhere from a huge gas station that more resembled a train station. We were talking about something. I thought we were heading downtown, to The Center, but we were flying past concrete geometric shapes and apartment buildings. As I flew past the pseudo-endless parkway leading to the Dream City Outskirts, I think I noticed Monoedesu and Bokufag greeting me in the company of Yakui and some other faceless maid, probably returning somewhere from that giant house. Right after the Amber Darkness desert, I found myself on some chaoticly placed railways in the middle of an evergreen forest, the snow was somehow still present, and the grass was gray. I've never been here before, I guess. Suddenly, Gin. I don't recall her ever leaving The City Skyscraper and surrounding areas. At least she wasn't smoking. I barely remember anything, but she gave me my knife and I got on her railcar Kettenkrad thing, and we rode over the railroad bridges across some very big misty lake. She was being silent, sometimes sighing and throwing screws and nuts into the water. A little bit strange. As expected, there was no Magic Forest or Flower Field at the end of the path. But there was a pebble beach illuminated by daylight. And water. A river, or a sea. Ocean maybe. I was alone, except for a crude wooden boat. All of a sudden, orange and yellow leaves began to fall from the sky. Everywhere. Suiseiseki pointed to the horizon and said that I have always wanted to go there. I sat down on the side of the boat and looked at the horizon. She sat down next to me. "If you go there, you will not be able to return." Don't know why, but I nodded. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I nodded again. I don't think I've ever seen such clouds in the dream world. But it wasn't the clouds that bothered me so much. You know, you remember, I guess. I slid off the boat, laid down on the pebbles and curled up. The pebbles were moving. The leaves kept falling. I turned my head and saw beautiful red-green eyes. "????, ???? ???? ?" I woke up to a loud and sharp noise in the heating system. Completely exhausted.

That's it. I can't remember anything more. Sorry.

>>7045

>I'm sorry, what? I just drank a lot of vodka for no good reason as it turned out later, and had a hangover as a bonus. Nothing more. ~desu

Oh wow, how did I not realize you meant alcohol, silly me.

>>7053

What a long and twisting dream! I am somewhat envious you have such long dreams, with so many people. are you still at odds with kirafag?

Its snowing again here, and oh so pretty. I no longer must drive through it for work, so I can appreciate it more again. Hooray.

Ah, please, just a little bit more...

Zzz...

munch munch munch

oh btw

How do you all do?

>>7063

doing good friend, very lazy doll. Overall a new chapter for gintoic. How are you?

>>7063

my back hurts. too much bending at work i swear. hopefully I wont have to bend so much soon.

I finished screencaps of rm0 finally, I will have to zip it all up and post it later.

https://dropmefiles.com/DZO96

>>7064

going little by little towards my goals, sometimes not at all

Ah, a new high score. Spent a whole week trying to make a short reply. This week has been a disaster. The apathy was shutting me down despite the stimulants. And the stims strengthened the emotionless state, reducing stress, but worsening the negative symptoms, like the apathy. It's a vicious cycle. Sleep, drug up, stare at the screen, burn out, sleep. It's like smashing against a wall and kicking dead whales down the beach. Well, at least I got a lot of sleep and dreams, I guess. Today I decided to increase the dose twice without dividing it. And so far, it seems to be working. The phases of anger and silly behavior have passed, I guess it's time to try to say something...

>>7054

>I guess so. At least temporarily. Because it's the invariable starting point from which you begin guiding her actions.

Right. Some could say that from a certain perspective that doesn't explain the ending, but... Yeah.

>But why... do I keep feeling sort of disapproval from you on this?

I don't remember. No, seriously. ¯\(°_o)/¯

>I told you, in the first place, I thought it'd make you feel better. But then you proved me wrong.

...Let's stop talking about it.

>I do wonder just how much of everything did you bury in there.

Well, enough for the remaining lifetime, I guess.

>You're more like a hedgehog now.

Ah, hedgehog now. But of course...

>>7055

I guess...

>You even remember this kind of thing from such a long time... Like some particular tree.

I'll never forget such things, I guess.

>Who are these #?

A couple of desufags from a bygone era.

>spoiler

Probably. Probably not. I don't know. The silhouettes were very abstract and blurry. You know, it's more about "colors" and feels.

>I guess I know who's that.

Me too.

>Huh? I guess, it must, like, appear curly, endless in itself, but not really be.

Not really. It's more like a straight alley going down, you can walk down it for a very long time, the snow is getting less, and there are more trees and decorations, and the path is becoming more populated. I'm not sure where this leads, or if it leads anywhere at all. But you can just get around it and find yourself in densely built-up and populated area. That's where the house is. I thought I destroyed it during an armed confrontation with Long-nosed thugs a long time ago, but it appears intact. I haven't been inside since that event though. Maybe I was there during a bizarre stealth event under the guidance of Bokufag, but I'm not sure if this was that place.

>Do they suffer there?

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. That time when I leveled this place, the inhabitants were held captive. But I've seen those two around that place more than once. In a place nearby, one of them was helping me investigate something and providing fire support, that time when I found that inhumane and atrocious silent double-barrelled flechette gun that was firing 2mm steel needles, causing a horrid and agonizing death to its victims for some strange reason. It never missed a target, unlike the absolutely useless firearms and other kinetic ranged weapons. I guess you remember. Damn, I miss it a lot actually. However, now, in addition to the knife, various junk and razor-sharp playing cards, I sometimes have my handheld laser in my pocket. Rarely, but still. Activating it causes everyone to flee, so I guess its beam is very deadly. Well, I hope so. Given that the speed of light there seems to be unlimited most of the time (I guess?) eww, what a mindfuck, it shouldn't miss. ~desu

>I wonder if you'll be again.

I hope I will. I can't help feeling that I've missed something.

>Hehehe, I wanna ride it! I really feel like I do! Uguuu~

It was pretty long ride, to be honest. Maybe even boring. But meditative. I guess that event was directed by Tarkovsky. But yeah, it was very interesting experience.

>Leaves... Leaves....

Yes, it was as if autumn had suddenly arrived in the middle of summer in a world of eternal winter. Weird, just like always. ~desu

>Pebbles. Did they move under you?

Not only under me. They were moving everywhere.

>Thank you, thank you so much for sharing it with me! ~desuyo

^ ^

>>7056

Hehe. Sorry. I'll disable that, it's just too silly, I guess.

>>7059

It isn't really that great.

>It really feels as though there is a long story of it's own behind every detail.

That dream was something more long and complex, but I can't remember all of it for obvious reasons.

By the way, I remembered who the girl with the bright white hair was. I don't know who she is, but she has appeared in my dreams many times before. A record from three and a half years ago says she even has a name. Hmm.

I'm sorry I kept you waiting. How are you? How are your dreams, games, well, you know?..

>>7060

I don't know. I myself am not, I guess. Better ask him, I guess. But I doubt he'd care. Why would he? If I were him, like, him, I probably wouldn't, I guess. I don't know. I just hope he's all right and has forgotten about me...

>It was snowing these days. The winter has finally reached our city too. And passed by.

>Its snowing again here, and oh so pretty. I no longer must drive through it for work, so I can appreciate it more again.

It's snowing almost everyday here. Not to mention it was -40°C outside these days.

Update: I guess it's a little warmer now, but it looks like it's very windy outside. But I don't want to try it on myself. ~desu

>>7062

Это для меня?.. Спасибо...

<3

>>7063

I'm trying to sleep and trying not to sleep at the same time! ~desu

Very fun

>>7066

Uh... Thank you very much. ~desu

>>7070

I think he's doing okay, but I wont trouble him about it for now. Maybe if I stop by his thread sometime, but the threads he's in are too fast paced for me to keep up with ehehe

Today was supposed to have snow storms, but instead it was nice and temperate, and not very windy even. Snow on the ground but not in the sky ehehehe. It feels good out.

I hope the weather stays like this.

>>7072

You are welcome ^^

>>7072

>87338163

this doesnt sound healthy

Raising the dose once again.

>>7074

>Just remembered certain bokufag who used to own one.

I remember him as well, I guess. Interesting things, huh?..

>You remember all those people and things… and assign them marks.

I, the Ninth, didn't assign any marks to the Seventh and Twelfth.

>And do you have sort of more or less definite color spectrum or table or wheel?

I should have said "smells", I guess. This is much more complicated and incomprehensible than ordinary synesthesia, because it is not a color (if a color, then unknown to the human eye), not a smell, not a taste, not a sound, it is something completely different. This is information encoded in an abstract feeling. Remember the "color/smell" of that white-haired girl I briefly described not so long ago? This is not some bullshit like auras, color-coded "body/soul energetics" or, ugh, I don't know, the original description of The Force Sight. But yes, I can recognize the feeling of an entity that I have previously experienced and remembered, but there is no such thing as some sort of a definite spectrum or something like that. It's like trying to fit an infinite number of unique IDs within RGB range, I guess.

>Should try asking them about time related things sometimes.

As far as I understand, the usual ideas of time and causal sequence are non-existent there. It didn't happen, and it won't happen, it's just always been there for them. For example, tell me, when I first met them, and then said goodbye to them and left for Mars to fix something, sleeping inside an anti-inertia capsule in a cigarette-like planetship pushed by thermonuclear engines with extreme time dilation for some reason relativity?, never to return - was that in the past, or was it in the future? I don't know either. But they remember it. So, most likely, there is no "past" or "future" for these events, or, more precisely, there is simply no causality as we know it.

>Is it related to the place?

Yes and no. It's definitely related to that place, and to the overall implications, and also to Her words.

>His most known work, right?

I guess.

>I mean… did you feel them with your spine or sides?

Yes, but it was more like I was floating on the surface of a very dense waving liquid.

>Didn't try to get it back anyhow?

It would be nice, I guess, but how? I have no idea how to get in that place again, and if I'd somehow manage to find it, I'm sure everything will be different in there.

And again, most of the time I can't travel freely through the Dream City and the surrounding deeper and deeper areas outside of it, and I often have no idea where I will go after the next "Door" (I don't even think about it, these are not lucid dreams), and if you remember, my dream world is in some sense four-dimensional, sometimes literally. So, for example, sometimes in the south-northwest region there are not snow-covered wastelands and some huge factory/power plant, but a dark area with apartment buildings, highways, bus stops and parking lots, inhabited by a bunch of sentient beings, or a few dead high-rise buildings, hills covered with dead trees, ash and broken glass, and a railway leading somewhere to an industrial zone, etc. And in a north-southeast direction, snow-covered ruins where the Snow Girl resides, a bus road leading into the outside depths and Dream City Outskirts change to rusty concrete mazes with rivers of dirty snow and blood with a giant mall in the distance and the entrance to the sewers leading back into The Center and deeper areas, or to a huge blue lake with sunken ruins of brick skyscrapers and abandoned buildings full of sand and water from broken pipes on the shore, from where you can get into some astronomical size hangars with steel pillars holding them up, and so on. I call these the "Levels" of the Dream City. I don't know why and how they change between each other, it's just the usual dream logic, I guess. But I can travel "up" and "down" between Levels without noticing it. I remember saying that even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to make a rough map of the Dream City even in three dimensions. My brain would melt.

>Lasers and stuff are good, but… the more the better?

This is not a videogame. I don't have inventory or weapon slots and keybinds, so I can't pull a minigun or a huge chainsaw out of my ass. I don't even really have any pockets there (except for the bottomless purse filled with useless items like pills, eyes, radio parts, buttons, that my shape of the killer-schoolgirl has, or the things someone/something even more abstract have), everything I have is constantly present in my hands, and I can't put it anywhere else or hide. Especially when I'm haunted by this irritating feeling that if I drop something, I'll lose it forever.

>And, though your laser must be a wicked, dreadful weapon, it still sounds somewhat funny for silly me.

It's funny to you, but right now I'm trying not to touch the centimeter-sized circle-shaped burn on my right arm that was made yesterday by its irl counterpart when I accidentally shot myself and didn't notice it in my safety glasses until it started to really hurt and I heard the hiss of flesh vaporizing by the beam. Damn painkillers and stimulants. Well, at least it was my hand, and not some flammable material. It also blew a hole through the cheap goggles intended for its frequency two days ago, with which I tried to block the beam without turning off the device. But I'm glad it destroyed them. I don't want to think about what might have happened if I had used them for their intended purpose and the laser beam had accidentally ricocheted into my eyes. Permanent blindness. Never trust the suspiciously cheap offers from the Chinese.

>spoiler 4

Uh. Um... Could you be more specific?

>What's prominent is that much of happening took place in sewers. I kept moving somewhere, and not only me. But I saw, sometimes through sort of pavement glass, sometimes through grates, that there is real winter on the surface. Winter city, factories or something.

Hmm. Sounds very familiar. ~desu

sigh

>spoiler 5

Uh-huh, I do. Sometimes.

>Weather here changes frequently and unpredictably…

Same here. Except for the rain.

>visually.

But not visually. -30 or -5, everything still looks the same through my window.

>>7073

>Snow on the ground but not in the sky

Boring... ~desu

>It feels good out.

Ah. I'm glad. I guess. ^ ^

>>7075

I guess anything said about me would sound unhealthy. ~desu

>>7078

>>7079

Now that's interesting. Some scenes and moments have very familiar details and atmosphere to me.

When I get to a place like this fortunately not so often lately, I either come to the surface again, or... I can't find a way out and go deeper and deeper, even if I go "up". And things gradually become more and more abstract, chaotic, and unpleasant, to the point of being completely delirious and non-euclidean. And terrifying.

I started to write about what usually happens there, further, deeper, but changed my mind. I don't want to recall it and I really don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry.

I guess you can figure out yourself what's below, and what's happening down there, at least a little bit. So...

I wanted to make and post a few swfs, but that's for tomorrow, I guess.

>>7080

>but right now I'm trying not to touch the centimeter-sized circle-shaped burn on my right arm that was made yesterday by its irl counterpart when I accidentally shot myself and didn't notice

Oh dear, be careful. I hope your hand heals soon and there isn't too much pain. What were you working on that you need lasers for?

>>7081

Snow came back, then the cold, the deep freezing cold. Below 0 every day this week.

>I wanted to make and post a few swfs, but that's for tomorrow, I guess.

Exciting, take your time, but I do hope to see your new swfs soon.

My back hurts, I threw it out at work today, I hope it heals by morning but most likely I will need a chiropractor.

>>7087

> trying one in a pharmacy, but apparently to them the size was not right.

Hmmm? What do you mean? Here a chiropractor is a professional who fixes backs, not a tool to use. I do have a good one though, who does a great job. My back is mostly healed, I think it will be all better by monday as long as I continue to rest it.

Yesterday was... A good day, I guess. ^ ^

Will reply a bit later, I'm tired and very sleepy. ~desu

>>7090

for some reason i read "yesterday" as "valentines" wth

-30°C, -1°C, -30°C, -1°C, -30°C. What in the... sigh

>>7082

>I hope your hand heals soon and there isn't too much pain.

There isn't. Just a slightly irritating tiny "hole" in the skin. It will heal, though it will leave a very strange looking scar near the elbow pit, I guess.

>What were you working on that you need lasers for?

Classified information! For now, hehe.

>Snow came back, then the cold, the deep freezing cold.

Snow and the deep freezing cold. I miss it. I miss walking in the snow, everything is so beautiful, there is no one around, only the sparkling snow under my feet and in the air, the sparkling stars above my head, the twinkling lights of street lamps and house windows, and the iridescent lights of neon and diode decorations. Ah, the memories... They remind me of the 2016 New Year and that particular photo of my city, and not only that. Our cold night walks of 2012-2015, astronomy, movies, smoking nicotine for synergy while watching the snowy colorful world on antipsychotics in 2016, benzodiazepines and GABAergics in 2017, dopaminergics in 2018... Or 2017 and 2018 should be swapped, I can't really remember. Uh, I started to talk about something unrelated, I guess. But why is the real winter world so fake, but so colorful sometimes, and the dream world is...

Now we usually watch it through my window. I rarely go outside, only to get supplies or do an MRI. I just don't want to. No energy, no desire.

>Exciting, take your time, but I do hope to see your new swfs soon.

Nothing to be excited about, just a bunch of songs. There is no energy for anything more yet. Moreover, I spent the leftovers of it on css, drawings, a special day for us, and this reply. But I still haven't decided what to do, make a few Rain Lily White Yume Nikki tracks because why not, or finally complete the latest "album" of Complex Numbers. Hmm.

You don't have any spasmolytics or NSAIDs or something?

>>7087

Yeah, it hit me too, like the usual. The only unusual thing is that instead of psychotic attacks and worsening of productive symptoms, I was faced with apathy, asthenia, anhedonia and other "A"-type negatives with a weight of a thousand worlds, quite the opposite. You may have already noticed this.

>And I saw a whole dozen of dreams.

Good for you, I dream a vague, twisted mess of fake memories, Dream City, some celestial bodies, outer worlds, and an abstract kaleidoscope of unconscious things, and I forget almost everything before I can write anything down these days. It's just too much. ~desu

>Now of which one should I tell you this time?

Fascinating.

>The one with a waterhole in the sewers after which everything else began.

You decided to dive in it or something like that, I guess?

>Following delirium and chaos and my transformation into a scary poisonous insect.

Sounds familiar, aside from transformations, I guess. Ah, that dream about some global cataclysm in another world/dimension. I've already told you that one, I guess. I don't remember.

>Maybe the one about a volcanic planet?...

Hehe, what the deal with celestial bodies lately, I wonder? For the lastest example, on the 12th, I have the following dream recorded: Some kind of gas, metallic constructions, dust everywhere, and I see a desolate planet with no atmosphere. Nah, more like an asteroid. There were habitable modules under the cliff. I was wearing a space suit, I guess. I don't know why I was there, floating in the shadow, it looked like the place was fully automated. I remember how on the plains, further down in the crater, small beautiful fountains of dust would suddenly form, which would abruptly disappear after a second or two. I was afraid of them, and for a good reason, I guess. These were not "fountains", but impacts. [Transition to another dream.]

But volcanic? Ugh, that's hot, I guess.

>Or about the city of ruined things and mad Suigintou obliterating a city of drones along with it's inhabitants?

Oh, huh, that was some big action, I guess.

>Well, there's a short one where I was you, no, rather, saw through your eyes

Huh. What I was? How it felt?

>spoiler 1

Eh?..

>spoiler 2, 3, 4

Even more fascinating. Welp, a shame. I don't even remember when he disappeared. Did you two talk or were you a lurker? My memory... Also, I've noticed that a similar concept is often found in the experience of other dream travelers/oneironauts. A Nexus-like center with high-rise buildings or some sort of tower, a city, outskirts, a giant box-shaped building on one side, an industrial zone on the other, etc. I don't remember much, but there were more similarities. It must have been several years ago.

>spoiler 5

Ew, I, I don't really think so, stop with that, please.

>I hope that you learned your lesson and will go with some sort of procedures to properly test your equipment from now on.

I was just a little out of my mind. And yes, I will test all new plastic goggles with point blank unfocused continuous radiation. But I'd rather keep using my old semi-universal double glass filters, even though they're a bit heavy and dark. At least they are completely safe against the near-infrared and visible blue and green spectrum and fully cover the eyes.

>Let's go with an example.

You messed up my spoilers, I guess.

> >Uh-huh, I do. Sometimes.

I asked you to clarify about memory girl in the spring realm. I can't remember what it was about.

>Of course, it's a very rough description and is not necessarily exactly like that.

I know what you're talking about.

I guess >>7088 meant a "manual therapist" chiropractor, for people who have no need for a neurologist and their drugs.

Did I see KusabaX markdown or something?.. Nevermind.

>>7091

Oh, really? What strange associations you have, ehehe. ~desu

>>7092

>There isn't. Just a slightly irritating tiny "hole" in the skin. It will heal, though it will leave a very strange looking scar near the elbow pit, I guess.

Well, im glad its only minor, I hope it heals quickly.

>Classified information!

Hehehe, okay mr bond.

>I miss it. I miss walking in the snow, everything is so beautiful

What a beautiful description of winter.

>Nothing to be excited about

Even seeing you have energy and working on things is worth being excited for, it makes me happy to see ^^

>spoler

What doesn't have NSAids and analytics in this country? I probably should do more to check than I do.

My dreams have come back, they are strange ones, often at school.

>>7093

>Hehehe, okay mr bond.

You take that back immediately. Mikurubeamu~

>it makes me happy to see ^^

Why?

>My dreams have come back

But you said you almost never had any.

>_master1200

>>7095

>You take that back immediately.

hehe okay okay, mikuru-chan then.

>Why?

Hmmm, I like seeing people I like doing well. I'm an empathetic person too, seeing people around me happy and full of energy makes me feel happy and full of energy, generally.

>But you said you almost never had any.

Yup, thats the standard, but lately that's changed and i've been getting more dreams. Mostly taking place at school, I don't know why that is.

>higher quality

nice

>>7096

>I already looked up. Ha, an example of quack doctors, well, not quite maybe, but still, who through history turn out to be real doctors.

Hmmm, depends, many chiropractors are known to be suspicious, or only interested in money, but I have been lucky in picking good chiropractors whose work quality speaks for itself. Chiropractor visits and rest, and my back feels much better.

Life can be tough!

Though, she insist on growth...

Now anemia. Great. Just a little more, just a little...

>>7096

Um... That's not my swf. I didn't make it and I didn't post it. Sorry. But I agree, it's nice. And the bgm isn't so compressed, so it isn't from that place, I guess. Also, it was posted on /f/ first.

>If I was conscious and mobile, I wonder what I would do.

Fire and war, I guess.

>Yes, I did. I wanted to know what awaits me down the rabbit hole, I guess.

Familiar, but uncomfortable feeling. ~desu

>I can't really remember, sorry.

> >Well, at least not an insect-like abomination, something kinda like a zergling, unable to think in the human sense of the word, which desperately needed to find its wings in order to escape with the rest from a collapsing dimension consisting entirely of some organic matter.

I think I found it. Weird. I thought I told you more. Nevermind.

>Can you tell more about these?

Eh, well... They were spherical and went deep into the rock, they seemed to be gray in color and were illuminated by yellow and blue lights. And the whole structure was hanging over the surface, at some small height. Maybe these things were tanks with helium-3 or metallic hydrogen, I don't know. This doesn't explain the lighting, moving automatic mechanisms, consoles and my presence though.

>Yes, but not quite. Rather, it was very, very, very warm. To be honest, I felt like at home there...

Now that I think about it, I don't remember any pleasant warm or hot places.

>It was precise, silent and ruthless grand sabotage

I can see it happening, I guess. But so consistently, reasonable and continuously, without derailings and complete loss of common sense... Fascinating.

>It was so in her style.

>spoiler 1

Yup, that's her, I guess.

>A man in post-apocalyptic stalker garb including a gasmask.

>Unlike, how you describe your experience in your own dreams, this you felt like main antagonist of some thriller or horror movie on a killing spree.

Oh, alright then. I thought you saw something more... Detached from your world. ~desu

>spoiler 3

I, I see. I see...

>Former, though not too much.

Ah. Now I get it. So, that bokufag. A shame, really. But I really didn't feel like talking at that time. But, let's say, 2017 isn't so far away. It feels like it was last week. On the other hand, last spring feels like it was an eternity ago...

>spoiler 4

And I'm a decomposing snow hobo, I guess. So what?

>You told me about autumn, winter, spring and summer in your dreams when you were describing those... well, monsters and whatnot. That's when you also mentioned her.

I can't remember it and I can't find it. "Monsters" - perhaps, because I did tell something about them, but everything else mentioned...

>Ha, an example of quack doctors

Yeah. Gimme $20 and I'll show you a demo of what a $5 bottle of pills can do. Neurologists do it for free, so they don't know shit, I do. The drugs aren't gonna help you. Also, you need to visit me exactly 9001 times, or the money will be lost in vain.

>>7098

>Hmmm, I like seeing people I like doing well.

How do you know they're doing well?

>I'm an empathetic person too

You? Empathetic? Hehe. Well, it's not for me to judge.

>Mostly taking place at school, I don't know why that is.

You should. Come on. You're not even trying.

>pic

Here, take this slowpoke. But thanks for posting it here. Maybe it will be useful for someone. You see, I'm even slower these... Days.

>>7100

Oh.

>spoiler

You got the ending?

>>7104

Ehehe... Heh. Heh.

>>7111

...

Snow, snow... Lots of snow. Oceans and mountains of snow.

>>7115

How peaceful. ~desu

>spoiler 2

smiles

A week ago I had an unpleasant dream, I won't tell you the details, but throughout the dream I was constantly losing my teeth for no apparent reason, beings were randomly getting into accidents and dying, I was being chased by someone and I saw a lot of those scary ticking clocks again. Not for the first time, I found that such a dream is a harbinger of trouble, pain and suffering. Some time after waking up, part of the dream about losing teeth came true. Since that day, I've been up for almost a week, trying to do everything I can, following all the prescriptions from the doctors, fighting for his life. But yesterday came the apotheosis. It was all in vain. The part of the dream with those terrifying unstoppable clocks also came true.

I'm sorry for taking so long to reply. I didn't have the time nor the energy for talk. Eh, everyone is extremely lazy these days, it seems. Back in our days, you had to intentionally change hosts to even get to the site, and now it's just some sub-domain, wow, how confusing and troublesome. Pfft. Still, that's no excuse for these fucktards.

Tell me, please. How is your cat? You haven't said anything about her in a long time. Mine died yesterday. Kidney failure. Yes, that one. The "sentient" one, which was extremely intelligent and could tell us apart. Not to mention that he understood every word we said. I'm sure you remember him. You've seen him, I remember. When he was playing with my plush Sui. Our dearest friend and companion. The most unique and human-like cat we've ever met. He's gone.

I know there's nothing I could have done, but still...

>spoiler 3

You see... I can't. If only it were that simple. And that's not the only problem that bothers me, you know. pulls out another clump of hair and sighs

>spoiler 4

Don't be silly. And it won't help our case anyway. And why would I need wine when I have vodka, whiskey, and beer? No need for this bullshit trying to justify alcohol, please. If someone wants to post another link to some yellow press page about the "benefits" of alcohol, first try to compare these "benefits" with the harm of the drug and think about it. But if you're hopelessly stupid or just an drunkard, then try to ask some actual medic about that topic. Preferably a neurologist or psychiatrist, especially the addictionologist one. Smartass.

pours another one

>But why do these have to be explained, aside from lightnings?

I don't know. Something isn't right. I feel like I've been there before.

>You're an all wintery creature, after all, so it's no very surprising.

I just don't like heat. And I have a constant mild hyperthermia all my life. Yeah, winter is beautiful and we love snow, but I really don't think that's the reason for the state of my dreams. ~desu

>Some dreams do preserve consistency to a surprising degree and it's true not only for me.

I know.

>teleported through TV

Hehe, reminds me of the first time I found myself in the "magic forest", in that garden. I will never forget that beautiful moment.

>If there is something in my dreams that I really don't want to deal with then it's the police.

...

>Well, you can be fascinated indeed, for that was pt2 which happened because of pt1, or so I interpret.

Wow. Actually, nothing surprising to me. I had a whole series of consistent dreams for several days in a row several times.

>spoiler 6

You're totally right. ~desu

>spoiler 7, 8, 9

I can't tell if you're just lying and flattering me as usual or if you lied to me again 3 months ago. Or maybe you're just lying to yourself? In that case, you must know better than I do what you're lying about. I don't understand why you're telling me this, if the great good has turned out to be more important to you than me. Cut it out with your games or stop teasing me. Durak...

>I can't either. But you really did.

I don't remember.

>spoiler 10

It's usually just a place where I meet memories. Or sometimes this place is not what it appears to be completely.

>spoiler 11

Yeah, hehehe...

>Nowadays it's more and more like a lie.

More like that time was just a naive lie, I guess, if you know what I mean. But nevermind, I understand your feelings, I guess...

Zetsubou, zetsubou, ze-tsu-bou~

>>7113

>How do you know they're doing well?

I guess I don't, but sometimes I can take an educated guess, or a hunch. And well can be relative, sometimes just doing better is good.

>You should. Come on. You're not even trying.

Hmmmm, maybe I feel like im still learning right now? Almost child like feeling of the world around me. I haven't had those dreams in a week now though.

>slowpoke

hehe, well, nobody brought it up yet here. I'm excited for it to come out, I want two.

It feels like a week passed waiting to post this.

>>7116

>mountains of snow

hooray!

>spoiler 2

thats awful, i'm sorry to hear that happened

>Hehe, reminds me of the first time I found myself in the "magic forest", in that garden. I will never forget that beautiful moment.

So these are all adventures you both have in your dreams right?How does one find these places? Would one even want to? It sounds like their are horrors along with beauties in such places sorry if I am asking silly obvious questions

I have returned!

seems 8kunk is back, however most my vpns,are not working.

how are you all. it has been a while but am happy to say things have improved as far as sobriety and overall condition, the remedy has been remaining as occupied as possible, exhausting however it works. I hope my absence was not too much of an issue.

>>7122

>I can say that my dreams started to develop when when I shifted my focus towards them and started giving them greater importance. I guess it should be sort of "the more you think of it the more it comes" thing. Plus it must been seriously influenced when I was sick and my mind was perturbed.

Ah, that is good advice, I will try to do this more often.

>I wonder just what entire world finds in this urine.

Aye, I do not know except japanese rice beer, that is very different

>I'm not really pro-alcohol, actually, I'm rather opposite. I do find red wine and port tasting good, though.

I guess i'm the odd one out, I consider myself a budding connoisseur of various alcoholic beverages, and like my drinks with a story of the make.

>>7123

ah congratulations on your sobriety! Keep up the hard work!

I am well, new job that I am finally happy at has been keeping me lazy, and kept a roof over my head and food on my plate.

>>7122

Sounds pretty. I'd like to see that place, I guess.

I had a lot of dreams these two days, but I only remember the endings. But even the endings were so long and detailed, I don't feel like translating and rewriting them, it would take a long time and generate two walls of text. I can only say that the first one involved Rozen Maidens, and the second involved a large amount of violence and death. Interestingly, both endings started with the train.

>Maybe you should designate a backup then?

Um... There's /9/rozen and 9/desu/, isn't that enough for now? Well, I don't believe in the long-term stability of that site, but in any case for last resort there is that abandoned flash board to coordinate on, on the site where your thread was, I guess. Of the places that the others know. But if you have any more suggestions, go ahead, it's more than welcome, I guess...

>spoiler 1

That's right. I don't give a shit. This board is stillborn. And I failed to revive it, succumbing to the disease and fucking up everything possible to fuck up. I have no energy and this place is beyond recovery. No one cares and no one will ever come here, and this site won't last long, and neither will I. What about the existing community? Ah, the ~3.5 posters, including me? You once said you don't care about imageboards anymore. Omega is having fun on other sites, defiles Suiseiseki with twitter "culture" and proudly spreads it around the web, OC my ass, reposts nude titmonster "dolls" because it's okay in his community with "gay Rozen Maidens", and actually is more obsessed with traps and fateshit, ah, I forgot to mention about his residency in the public "Rozen Maiden disсord". Did someone here say that RM disсords are bad thing? Sure, sure, hypocrisy, just like always. For the Twins sake, I was just searching for Tefuko images and this shit popped up again like a deja vu, but, actually, I'm not surprised. Zeta? I don't know. I guess he has a place where he is happy to be. But I somewhat appreciate it that he remembers this cursed place. I actually know who Epsilon really is, and it's not like him to suddenly disappear without a trace for such a long time. Maybe something happened. If someone cares, they will surely continue the legacy of this board, or more like, this barely alive avatarfag chain thread, but I can't guarantee that I'll be there. Just look at the index. And I wanted to register domain for an entire separate self-sufficient site with modified kusabaX, it's ridiculous! This failure of mine haunts me in my dreams, because it's all my fault and only mine. I had confidence in my dream that was incompatible with reality. I'm the second worst Rozen Maiden imageboard admin in the history of the Network. I wish this place never happened. You can throw stones at me, I don't care, and I deserve it.

The only good, happy thing that's happened here with me... Is you.

>spoiler 2

He wasn't young, but he wasn't old.

Thanks. He was also very talkative, although he often pretended to be silent. He understood every word and gesture, and used Morse-like "words" himself, combined with gestures with his face, body and eyes, and imitated human words and onomatopoeia with his voice. Well, the very basics, "mew-mew" meant food, "mew-ew-ew" meant a question depending on the context, "eh-eh-eew" was a call for attention, "ew-mew-meeew, myaa~" was a request, for example, to open a door or follow him, etc. For example, I could say to him, "I want to sleep, go to sleep too.", and he would immediately calm down and lie down on the bed near that "empty but occupied place" (if you know what I mean) in our bed to sleep. Heh, he always used a pillow under his head when he slept. He imitated me in many ways. Even sat like a human often. And his gaze was very similar to a human's, as if he always looked directly into the soul, and understood the thoughts. He always came and was trying to say something, while trying to calm me down when we were feeling a little too much bad. He never wanted to be alone. He only started hiding everywhere when he suddenly got sick. Everyone always called him very unusual. Probably because he was a real descendant of a wild forest cat, and not a dumb purebred degenerate, as the veterinarian said.

I often see him in the shadows or sleeping on the bed, and I feel him as if he has never left us. But he never really left us. All the beings that are dear to us, but have died, vanished in time, or changed completely and/or forgotten us, all of them always remain with us. Yes, these are the Memories I was always talking about. The prototype of one even posts in this thread. Don't worry, not you. But even without them, still, we are all one, you know that, I guess. So... Even if you still don't really take it seriously.

>It may potentially spell some serious health issues.

True...

>I suspected that you may have related issues

Huh. Really? I'm sure you remember a lot about them. Well, at least about some of them, I guess.

>Oh, I forget that you tend to treat all alcohol this way.

You would too, if you knew the disgusting and extremely dangerous, harmful nature of ethanol (which you do know) not only for one person and their mind and body, but for everyone around them too, and were also dependent on it, desperately trying to get rid of it along with the other annoying and toxic substances that keep you afloat, but slowly kill you in all senses in the process.

>Not blaming you, your drugs susceptibility is something else.

Yeah, yeah. "No blood was found in your benzodiazepines, sir." Or something like that.

>I wonder just what entire world finds in this urine.

I don't know about the world, but it's easier for me to wash down all the pills at once with a 330ml glass of beer and get an equal synergy effect than with a 50ml of vodka. And there is no need to eat something and less chance of accidentally dying.

>Should it probably be one of more accessible and frequently appearing of relatively stable locations, or do I miss on this one?

That was a long time ago. That was the first time I got to this place, and we finally met in a dream, aware of ourselves and each other. I've never seen so many flowers in my life. But all the flowers paled in comparison to the beauty I saw among them...

>You would likely share my sentiments...

Hmm. I guess so.

>last spoilers

And you say that now, again, after all this time. Why are you so cruel? I know I'm a bad person and I've hurt you a lot, but why are you so cruel? What should I say now, what should I do? You will reply that you have come to your senses and aren't able to feel this disease/rudimentary garbage/world lie, that you just don't want to hurt me and yourself because your other half said so, and apologize, again, am I right? I don't know anymore. I don't believe you. How can I believe you? You just want something from me too, right? Are you mocking me? Making fun of me? I'm tired, I'm so tired... I wish I could cry.

>Even you may forget this kind of things, heh.

Parts of my memory... Are no longer parts of my memory. If you could say so. I see you have some memory issues too.

>It's just that I was delusional about being able to do everything as long as there is drive

Not this shit again. How many times do I have to tell you that's not why I loved you, not why I wanted to stay with you? Oh, this is fucking bullshit... Here we go again, it's Groundhog Day...

>And once again, you have my sincere condolences.

Thank you.

>>7118

So nano ka. I think you should try to improve your ability to take guesses, just a little bit. ^ ^

>dreams

Just try to start a dream diary. I'm sure you will discover a lot about yourself and you will stop forgetting your dreams.

>I'm excited for it to come out, I want two.

I hope I will be able to get them. I've wasted my two-month budget in a week, so not anytime soon, I guess. It's worse than a direct donation, but we've got Zero for it the last time. These will be a bit more pleasant gifts, I guess. I don't know.

>It feels like a week passed waiting to post this.

Why?

>spoiler 2

Not really. Actually, we have separate dreams, but She can invade my world, partially manipulate it or appear to me in disguise of someone else, but I can feel Her. She can appear in Her true form, but this happens rarely, only if it's really important or if the dream is lucid or "broken". I think that's the problem. It is difficult for Her to do this in a normal dream, because Her abilities are still limited in my realm, where the unconscious rule.

What kind of dreams does She have? About Herself. And memories. Her memories, Sister's memories, my memories, fake memories, forgotten memories. The empty space that surrounds Her. The semi-void that She fills with Her thoughts and dreams. Her creations and knowledge. The Unconscious. Experience, feelings, and emotions that flow through Her in a colorful stream, like music. Other worlds that She sees through the boundaries of Her confined space. Freedom. The emptiness, the nothingness, which was there before Her. Nonexistence. The eternal sleep. With which everything began, with which everything will end. That's all I know. But usually when I ask, for some reason She just says, "You."

>spoiler 3

One doesn't find these places, they find you by themselves. Horrors? It depends on the person, I guess. For me it's an integral part of my world, I guess.

>>7123

It's so good to see you. ~desu

Where have you been?

>seems 8kunk is back

But it wasn't down. Well, it was, but for a little while.

>however most my vpns,are not working.

Well. that's strange. Even most of the Tor clearnet exit nodes started to work here. Try to flush your DNS cache and make sure you aren't using the server provided by your ISP. And disable your hosts override, it works fine for now, I checked all the major DNS providers.

>it has been a while but am happy to say things have improved as far as sobriety and overall condition

I'm glad. I'm really, really glad. ~desu

>>7125

>My dreams are more vivid and rich than ever before, yes. However, my senses IRL also became even duller and heavier than before.

Oh dear, brainfog is definitely no good, I have enough of it as is.

>>7128

>Just try to start a dream diary. I'm sure you will discover a lot about yourself and you will stop forgetting your dreams.

I will have to try this.

>I hope I will be able to get them. I've wasted my two-month budget in a week, so not anytime soon, I guess.

We have time, since there isn't even a prototype, it will be some time before pre orders.

>Why?

8kun was not working for me, I could not post for several days.

>Not really. Actually, we have separate dreams, but She can invade my world, partially manipulate it or appear to me in disguise of someone else, but I can feel Her. She can appear in Her true form, but this happens rarely, only if it's really important or if the dream is lucid or "broken". I think that's the problem. It is difficult for Her to do this in a normal dream, because Her abilities are still limited in my realm, where the unconscious rule.

Oh that's fascinating that you two have separate dreams.

>One doesn't find these places, they find you by themselves. Horrors? It depends on the person, I guess. For me it's an integral part of my world, I guess

ah so it is not an necessary part of paying more attention to ones dreams. That's good. I don't think I could handle such horrors very well.

>>7127

9/rozen/ and 9/desu/ are where I visited when the board wasn't working at first.

>>7134

>1st spoiler

9chan.tw/rozen

>>7134

>Even though you're not telling more, it sounds intriguing neverthless, especially the first one.

It's too long and I'm tired. There was some kind of tour or forum, and in one of the halls of this giant building, they confused me with one of the RM cosplayers because of my costume (I don't know what was wrong with it) and accidentally left me with them while evacuating, because two of them were irradiated, and everyone knew it because of their popular photo shoot against the background of a molten reactor. While I was trying not to give myself away and looking for a way out, I began to meet real Dolls. Then the section was finally opened and I ran away, because I was afraid that my stuff would leave on the train without me. Something like that...

>Train, huh. I'd like to hear more about trains in your dreams somehow.

Well, most often, trains are either closed spaces, enclosed by itself, sometimes endless, sometimes cramped, or they appear at the "beginning" of some locations. And sometimes it's just some slow carts or electric trains moving through the world by some strange way.

>spoiler 1

You can't be serious. Are you saying that you haven't read or forgotten all of the previous thread? And what site, what thread? Huh. Well, okay. This is the place where I watched you and where we first met, and also where Kappa resided, I mean, that bokufag we were talking about. By the way, just to clear something out, didn't he sometimes call himself sayakafag from 0chan.cc? Did he work at the library? Did he have problems with his family? If you don't remember any of that, fine.

>spoiler 3

Don't make my hat laugh. And why the hell did you bring up the "independent imageboard"? Even I ridiculed this idea of mine. And you make it sound like I've never run an imageboard. I had a couple of private ones and a public one, though they were using a heavily modified wakaba, not counting the default kareha one, but it was broken and quickly replaced by the kusaba-based desuIB under the management of loin and another bokufag. It was in 2013-2014, when I wasn't so (a)pathetic yet. I moderated the original cchan too, but for a very brief time and just a single board. He knew a few admins, hehehe... Well, congratulations, every retard was an admin 10+ years ago. About reddit-like "metachans" such as this one, yeah, fuck yeah, its convenience, stability and one of the shittiest ib scripts, this abomination that sucks so fucking bad it fucks, fills me with confidence, especially the last few years. The clones and imitations of this shitfest are no better, actually, they are even worse. Not so long ago, I didn't think I'd ever see anything worse than the endless ugly forks of tinyib, [shit I don't remember the name of], tinyboard and vichan, but here it is. The endless ugly forks of openib, lynxchan, jschan and meguca. Ah, to hell with that.

>spoiler 4

I'm not sure we'll live to see it.

>they are the real beasts, even if they aren't much different visually from a distance.

That's true. I don't remember if I told you how he scared the neighbor's cat and furiously hunted on a piece of mink fur when he was a kitten. Hehe, silly, he almost ate it. It was very difficult to pry this piece away from this angry, growling little ball of fur. I think he is a descendant of the Scottish wildcat, the patterns and tail are 1:1.

>Hmm... Did you perhaps meant "preferred"?

I guess I meant "pretended to be deaf".

%username%.

...

%username%?

"What a nice day it is."

%username%!

"Wh-what's going on, I didn't even do anything..."

%USERNAME%!!!

Mew-ew-ew???

Nothing unusual, I guess.

I didn't think that our place would become even more empty and lifeless so soon.

>Back in the old days she did the same. Dunno why me, though, as I used to be rather fidgety in my sleep back then.

Hehehe. Interesting, interesting. ~desu

>spoiler 6

I meant the Memories from the dreamworld. Uh-huh... ^ ^

>Well, there was in fact a lot of stuff you said about nourishment as well. I do remember.

Very funny. But if you really don't remember anything (or pretend to), maybe it's for the best...

>But, wait a sec, why drink alcohol and not just water if it's just to wash down the pills?

To multiply the effect of analgesics and tranquilizers, and to soften the effect of stimulants. And to drown out thoughts and voices, or to shut down consciousness for sleep.

>>7135

There, there... My dear. Sure, I can't feel anything but sadness and regret for now, but I know for a fact that one thing in me still hasn't changed, and it never will. I love you. I loved you. And I will always love you. Whatever you say to me, whatever you do to me, wherever you are, it's never going to change. And you should know that, my lovely precious gem. You should feel it. The piece of my soul I gave you back then.

So. Then. Say what you want to say. Do what you think must be done. Enough of the charades and innuendos. Please. ~desu

>As you can see I have lots of them, actually.

I kind of noticed. ~desu

>conflagration

Hm. Interesting. Is it somehow linked with rl? I can't decide what makes me feel uneasy more, falling into the abyss, being chased by my shadow, searching for shards of Sui, being erased from existence, or a thermonuclear explosion. But, of course, I'm not talking about what happens under the snow. This is a whole different level.

>>7136

If you're talking about Her, you just proved Her point. I won't say which one, because that way it won't be interesting at all. ~desu

>>7137

I highly doubt you can handle it, but it would be interesting, I guess.

>8kun was not working for me, I could not post for several days.

Hmm, I wonder why...

>ah so it is not an necessary part of paying more attention to ones dreams.

It is not. But who knows what you hide from yourself in your unconscious.

>>7140

>I highly doubt you can handle it, but it would be interesting, I guess.

It is true I am a bit lazy, and I am often rushing to work after waking up and wouldn't have time to write, but who knows, if I can work up the motivation and time it would be interesting indeed.

>Hmm, I wonder why...

not sure but I am glad its working again

and hey, fateshit is fun

but gatchas with Sui are more fun, I just wish they were in english. Playing Suiseiseki in a danmaku is extremely fun

Pew pew laser vines, ehhe

>>7148

>It's just that on that site, aside from the front page, there really isn't anything else nowadays, whatever url you type in. So I got confused.

Now I'm confused. Nevermind.

>spoiler 2

That's right. Many thanks. I just wasn't sure.

>spoiler 3

Why so many people like trying to reinvent the wheel nowadays, I wonder.

>But you just let her out to the balcony, she immediately returns with sparrow in her jaws

Yeah, I remember you telling me about it.

>spoiler 5

Interpret it any way you like. ~desu

>It seems to be, given that such things did happen IRL in the past, though it wasn't that scary.

I see. Hehe

>spoiler 10

Maybe. Maybe not.

>spoiler 11

I think I already told you that some time ago.

>spoiler 6

Of course I do, you silly, what, what in the name of, just tell me, tell me alrea... A-a-a, a-ah. Oh. Right. I see, I see...

>spoiler 7, 8

That's how it is, huh. I... I expected that. If that's enough, that's enough. I will never talk more of it. I asked you sincerely for the last time, but you're talking nonsense again. I won't humiliate myself in front of you anymore. If you were ever forcing something, you were only forcing it onto yourself, I guess. Idiot. Leave me alone. Leave me alone, all of you. Just let me fucking leave in peace already. Please.

I wish there were more I could do to help you two here, but what use am I eh?

it's snowing out

carpe diem

chaturbate is down!

its been a while, I am tired. how have things been Alpha?

>>7218

as frowned upon chaturbate is around these parts, You do have my condolences in losing your home.

So i guess silence is the topic of choice..

Relaying a message for you Alpha from /rozen/:

>It is my hope that this message reaches you. This comes not on the spur of moment. I can easily imagine, even if we do not take your many years long condition, what it is like to forcibly wake up every day in this overgrown bulk of flesh and struggle to live through every day each one like meaningless, everlasting, repetitive dream from which there is no escape. I do not know if you still care... I just want to tell you... that I am still very grateful to you. And we are, I believe. You were like the dearly missing key that I searched for so long. You allowed the change to come. And I can feel that it is not just me. Even for this scatterbrained sociofag, maybe even for that kirafag whose heart is hidden too deep, for others too, there were realizations and there was change, all because of you. When I think of all what I told you and what you must have felt, I feel sad. Love is sad and so is life in general. But I know, I must, I want and do believe in you. I have my faith in you. We do too. And we wish you all the best, no matter what you are doing. I do not know what else to say... Time flows in such a weird fashion. Please be well. And may the Force be with you.

please wake up!!! please ;-;

what, why, it can't be Oktober already. nah, it's not.

>>7223

waah, hello again. How are you?

>>7224

>what, why, it can't be Oktober already. nah, it's not.

you plan to stay silent til then?

>>7238

Not a problem, always here.

very well, how have you been.

>>7286

Okay.

Merry Christmas! ~desu

>>7433

/a/. We did everything we had to do, I'm satisfied with the results, and I really should go to sleep, I guess. Party's over. ~desu

I'll try to finish Sabiseiseki before the New Year. It's kinda hard to draw when your hands are constantly shaking.

inb4 come to shamiko, new years, >/a/

What about you?

Merry late-Christmas, strangers!

>>7436

Ah, shut up. Asshole. Well, it's not like anyone cares...

>have you two been drinking?

Of course not, it was fucking Sangaria, you blind donkey.

>I've had a good drink and have been lazing around for two days

I'm a little jealous. ~desu

>liveposting is gay y'know

Yes, it is, what are you implying, huh? Nah, I don't have enough energy or time to browse your shitsites.

Thank you.

>>7437

You too! ~desu

Happy New Year! ~desu

I see. I'll be waiting.

>>7453

In case one of you somehow didn't see it on 4/b/

>>7482

Very nice.

Do not want. At least this site is stable.

Twins Day.

>>10157

This is a limited edition, I own both Kana's from this series. It's pretty much the same as the Twins ones. But yeah, there definitely is some difference in color. ~desu

>if you wish

I don't know. You see, I rarely get replies there anyway.

Uh-huh, we're already preparing.

It was all in vain, I guess. Welp.