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File: a9e7ccc028645d8⋯.png (1.54 MB,1050x730,105:73,EK8EubaUYAI1Sn3.png)

 No.5802 [Last50 Posts]

____________________________
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 No.5804

File: 608fbcd25ff3e7e⋯.jpg (222.94 KB,1240x1754,620:877,EDoK48AUcAAgLfm.jpg)

>>5801

Uh-huh.

Could be better... Um, how about you?

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 No.5806

8)

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 No.5807

Desu

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 No.5808

File: 07d4b88ddb0f13a⋯.png (275 KB,362x629,362:629,62.png)

>>5804

things have been alright to say the least, a lot of changes. I am surprised to see the board migrated since it last got purged we have been looking for a new spot to camp out, which proved to be not very easy recently noticed this board being back, and had to come see if there were any major changes, things seem almost the same, a tad slower but still not bad. where were you guys all this time? i payed small visits to .rip but never seen any of you. made us curious. on a side note am still tied to original BO, he is doing well. may pay a visit too in time i am guessing.

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 No.5809

File: c82d6ca07d8bcb2⋯.jpg (184.06 KB,1754x1240,877:620,EGhjbFpUEAA_1Ot.jpg)

>>5808

A lot of changes, eh?

Yeah, it all came back pretty quickly, though at first I was afraid that some of the pictures didn't survive the migration. Phew. I'm glad I was wrong.

>things seem almost the same

Indeed, hehe. However, it seems there's only two non-lurker desufags left here now, including me. Everyone just keeps on disappearing, it's like they all suddenly turn into LCL or something. Ugh.

I was in hospital during the downtime. Delta-Desu was asleep and reading books, as he said. Maybe he'll talk to you too...

Maybe I could have been more active these days if I hadn't caught SSRI-induced apathy syndrome. Right now I am reducing the dose of the drug and decided to stop taking it ASAP. Dopamine goes up, feeling pretty schizzy.

>i payed small visits to .rip but never seen any of you

No wonder, because we have nothing to do with them, nor any other "ORMTs".

>he is doing well. may pay a visit too in time

That's actually nice to hear. Looking forward to it. ~desu

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 No.5810

File: 332009e04905855⋯.png (163.7 KB,279x485,279:485,64.png)

>>5809

>I was afraid that some of the pictures didn't survive the migration. Phew. I'm glad I was wrong.

was worried about the same, luckily all that was left still remains. Its a good feeling.

>it seems there's only two non-lurker desufags left here now, including me. Everyone just keeps on disappearing, it's like they all suddenly turn into LCL or something. Ugh.

it is to be expected, as far as the western branch the plan was not to return, howeven once this was seen most will be coming back along with few newer blood showing up. We were trying to find other places to go as an alternative but as i said before, we did not make the best results so we remained in the shadows. however progress is good, the translations for the newer series are undergo and it makes me happy to see such efforts.

>I was in hospital during the downtime. Delta-Desu was asleep and reading books, as he said. Maybe he'll talk to you too...

would be nice to hear from them, it has been a while and i persoally would like to catch up on things, a lot is needed to be said and shared.

>Maybe I could have been more active these days if I hadn't caught SSRI-induced apathy syndrome. Right now I am reducing the dose of the drug and decided to stop taking it ASAP

sorry to hear that i hope all is going well along with your health. i understand these things can be tough to comprehend, but i hope for the best in that regard.

>we have nothing to do with them, nor any other "ORMTs".

this is a new term, care to enlighten me? but for the most part i get where you are coming from, i wish things would be different but nevermind the past.

>That's actually nice to hear. Looking forward to it. ~desu

i hope to see him visit and catch up as well, there will be others popping up and paying visits from the western branch, hope to see a new light and era for this side. this bridge is of major importance and am glad it is back, i missed you guys to say the least.

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 No.5812

File: 067aa68a2a4bb6e⋯.jpg (258.61 KB,1500x1500,1:1,0146.jpg)

Hello there, another desuer is here. Just had to say hello, and it's good to know that everyone's doing OK. Just having a rest while I can afford it and trying to learn a few more things. This years feels so much better, like a plain after mountains ~desu

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 No.5813

Or not mountains, more like choking swamps...

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 No.5814

File: e60ef93a0ea4f38⋯.jpg (1.1 MB,1200x1600,3:4,0165.jpg)

>>5809

BTW you changed the banners, I see. Not like the old ones were bad, maybe a tad better, even?

>>5810

> this is a new term, care to enlighten me?

stands for Official Rozen Maiden Thread, a tradition which once began as a counter-measure against malicious multiple creations and deletions of threads. The ones that were signed in one or another way by a trusted person were called official. Aside from necessity, it's rather controversial format, especially when you look at certain "good" imageboards that overdo it hellishly ~desu

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 No.5815

File: 3ed71e58fd2ad4c⋯.jpg (84.21 KB,500x600,5:6,0189.jpg)

Oh, wait, old banners are still here. Right? Right? Or at least some of them, I guess.

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 No.5816

File: a35fed92b545696⋯.jpg (157.83 KB,1075x1518,1075:1518,EAC1GACU4AAz_Jg.jpg)

>>5810

Indeed. Unfortunately there's still some bugs to fix though, but it's not fatal and not very noticeable at all.

>it makes me happy to see such efforts.

I see. Me too. A shame that the rest of the translators disappeared, including japanese-speaking desufag.

Why not settle here for a while?

>i hope all is going well along with your health

Hehe, except for severe mental illness and a small brain tumor, everything else is more or less alright, I think. Thank you.

>this is a new term

Not even last night's storm could wake you Huh, what? Not really. "Official Rozen Maiden Threads", RMTs, things you have seen on russian /b/ boards, um, no?

>i get where you are coming from

So, err, 4chan? Ah, THAT site... Heh, well, but I can't really see the connection of this "term" with my origin.

>from the western branch

Oh no, not again, please. By The Seven, I still can't figure out when and by whom it was decided that I came from the eastern branch or something? ^ ^

>i missed you guys to say the least.

Same.

>>5814

>>5815

Nope, I just replaced some really poor made things with new ones.

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 No.5817

File: 44ba391c20868d3⋯.jpg (176.53 KB,1551x1240,1551:1240,EG7iMQ6UUAA4d64.jpg)

Or, perhaps, I should make some proper banners instead of a bunch of "so randum xD" cropped pictures?..

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 No.5818

File: 9752d65f421365e⋯.png (66.74 KB,297x469,297:469,11.png)

>>5816

>Official Rozen Maiden Thread

oh ofcourse how could i not figure that one out, we literally -sorta- followed that same tradition during /bant/ forgive my ditzyness. as well as kirafag giving me some deep insight on how things were done on eastern imageboards, during my time following him around before finally becoming settled at .rip.

>translators disappeared, including japanese-speaking desufag.

some are still around, just inactive. our current translation effort consists of a few from the original project and some new blood, very dedicated bunch. its going to be great to finally see rm0 translated after soo long of trial and error.

>Why not settle here for a while?

but ofcourse, being that this board is back, and things seem for the most part back to normal. I no longer need to hop around looking for elsewhere to settle my case.

>>5817

>perhaps, I should make some proper banners

would be nice perhaps even a fresh css, not that i am complaining about the current one, I like it.

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 No.5819

File: 5c2c3329ab914cb⋯.jpg (156.43 KB,1118x1583,1118:1583,EINj1d_XsAIbtoA.jpg)

>>5818

Ironic, isn't it, eh? Dvach ripped it off from /a/ threads and you copied it from their successors...

>our current translation effort consists of a few from the original project

I know. I hope they're alright, I haven't seen anyone for a long time. I, just, well, you know, haven't been very active the last few years.

>its going to be great to finally see rm0 translated after soo long of trial and error.

Yeah. Do they need some help, I wonder.

>but ofcourse

Yay, okay then. I'm glad! ^ ^

>would be nice perhaps even a fresh css

Hehe, reading my mind, I see. As you may have already noticed, this is just desudesudesuv2, I was recently thinking about rewriting it to something more... Unique. I have a couple dozen styles reworked for this site, but they all don't really fit our board.

Any suggestions, maybe?

BTW, you wanted to tell Delta something, didn't you?

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 No.5847

File: c54cdb38f2efbbf⋯.png (58.18 KB,297x347,297:347,7.png)

sorry for late response, mind has been in the clouds as of lately.

>>5819

>Ironic, isn't it, eh? Dvach ripped it off from /a/ threads and you copied it from their successors...

its definitely interesting how such traditions tend to be scratching of the backs on both ends, i would think even KC had some reflection during its time.

>I know. I hope they're alright, I haven't seen anyone for a long time. I, just, well, you know, haven't been very active the last few years.

understood, i am sure there may be a few visits from them soon, but as of lately they are around and well.

>Do they need some help, I wonder.

they seem to be doing alright as of now, we currently keep touch via 3rd party, if you are interested i could bring it up and the discussion could be moved here for the sake of convenience.

>I was recently thinking about rewriting it to something more... Unique.

perhaps something suddle, not too loud, but still gives a sense of life to the board. I learned that too much flare can be painful on the eyes, however i just resorted to using muon, its comfy.

>BTW, you wanted to tell Delta something, didn't you?

mainly a greeting, that i am still around. and hopefully all is well. nothing too fancy.

>>5812

hello, feel free to make yourself at home, activity may not be as active however that goes with time and things that need to be done before settling in front of the keyboard, at least that is how i prefer it, a clear mind before visiting.

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 No.5854

File: c51c94dfc881f39⋯.png (642.43 KB,960x750,32:25,but really.png)

>/desu/ waiting for lurker irc/shitcord dwellers to "pay a visit"

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 No.5855

File: 65949d7669b185e⋯.png (162.97 KB,401x390,401:390,27.png)

>>5854

and who might you just be quoting shitposter. not anything on your part but useless posts that do nothing for anything. you can always help by riding into the sunset and not returning.

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 No.5857

File: 79ff2b83d474011⋯.jpg (108.59 KB,768x432,16:9,147526685115.jpg)

>>5847

Will reply later, we, um, have a situation.

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 No.5858

It's torture.

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 No.5859

File: 61a326fb42c33e9⋯.png (106.08 KB,349x258,349:258,66.png)

>>5858

hang in there.

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 No.5861

File: a535094101e495c⋯.jpg (181.71 KB,1240x1754,620:877,EIiS0qtUEAAALTF.jpg)

>>5847

Oh, believe me, I understand. Don't worry about that.

>its definitely interesting.

Indeed. Well, nothing special really, just ordinary cancerous chitchat offtopic chain threads, which have always been around and will be, regardless of topic, RM, Eva, DBZ, camwhores, attention seekers, touhou, random, etc.

>understood

Okay. Thank you, I appreciate it,

>discussion could be moved here

Good. Maybe my skills can appear to be useful in some degree. But, you know, only if they are comfortable with that format. Yeah, yeah, but I don't like to talk about that... This topic is as old as the world, I guess.

>perhaps something suddle, not too loud, but still gives a sense of life to the board

Hmm. Perhaps making it a little bit darker, a couple of shades lower or something?

>however i just resorted to using muon

I prefer modified Tomorrow myself.

>mainly a greeting, that i am still around

Well, consider it done, >>5812 was him.

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 No.5869

File: 4f963633505b0a5⋯.png (328.23 KB,780x780,1:1,sitting.png)

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 No.5871

File: b3e440cd59dd24b⋯.jpg (412.84 KB,1200x1684,300:421,82cf970d2ce828c62622bec6a0….jpg)

happy holidays

once again sorry for the late response, i wound up being a tad irresponsible with the bottle, and managed to crawl out of bed today to even begin, i really need to work on my substance abuse. just seemed to be one of those days again, it was not bad, just managed to get a bit out of hand to the point i feel like i scorched my insides making it hard to even build up an appetite, it was a good evening though and i hope yours was as well. i will make sure this newyears to be a tad more responsible, being that its been a while since i have angered my body this much. I will get around to responding to >>5861 i just need a bit more rest. As said before, i hope you had a happy holiday.

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 No.5882

File: 9d9cb8cf6557ac7⋯.jpg (483.39 KB,1024x1423,1024:1423,0311.jpg)

>>5871

Curiosity got me! What is your favorite drink and type of snack? Because, you know, not everything goes great with, say, vodka. And what is your purpose of drinking, to get intoxicated or? I myself don't like being intoxicated much, for me it's more about the feeling of it warming you up. And, though I don't like to brag because it always spoils the thing, I can feel when I reach my limit. I still get intoxicated if I drink enough, but at least I don't fall off the bats... Also, did you puke?

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 No.5883

File: 81dbcffccf7ea35⋯.png (91.97 KB,235x355,47:71,97.png)

>>5882

>Curiosity got me!

my apologies, once i find myself in these binges i tend to lose sight of most things, perhaps too much freetime as of lately.

>What is your favorite drink and type of snack? Because, you know, not everything goes great with, say, vodka.

if vodka is in the equation i prefer a recommendation a friend provided. Russian standard. it has a very good taste to where mixing is not as needed, but compliments coffee esc drinks like kahlua. and cream. as for snacks i think my mistake was binging without eating, i felt very weak and my stomach was too recked to try to eat, not very smart on my part, but its times when i find myself in a stupor i lose track of even the simplest things, eating included. i do prefer mixes though like bloody marys i think a snack that compliments such is a combination of crackers sliced cheese and sausage. perhaps it would have been wise to have made such a snack during my binge.

>And what is your purpose of drinking, to get intoxicated

its a habit sadly. and the holidays sort of intensified the urge. it seems this time of year always has me drinking more than usual, perhaps a lack of sun could be the reasoning? who knows. i can hardly com[rehend the things i do to my body at times.

>And, though I don't like to brag because it always spoils the thing, I can feel when I reach my limit.

i feel its a matter of just me being weak minded in all honesty even at the point where i am aware of my limit i tend to push it farther, it just numbs the thoughs and warms me up mentally you can say.

>Also, did you puke?

no unfortunately, perhaps a should have, and maybe it would have dulled the pain i was feeling afterwords, a combination of nausea, exhaustion, and a bit of a fever which led to some heavy dreams. its strange how the mind works under such conditions. very vivid and odd nightmares. aside from a small pain in my side, i feel much better and not drained of energy.

on a side note, how was your christmas?

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 No.5884

File: 9bdfe13862bf988⋯.jpg (95.87 KB,758x1024,379:512,EMraFRTU4AAqEeF.jpg)

>>5871

Yeah, yeah... I understand. I got drunk yesterday too, but it was an attempt to drown out the SSRI withdrawal symptoms.

I can wait.

And try using GABA-mimetics to treat hangovers. And it's better to completely replace alcohol with them, I think.

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 No.5887

File: 54cdac5e0c35dec⋯.jpg (41.14 KB,640x480,4:3,0273.jpg)

>>5883

For me such practice is just unthinkable. I either drank just a little to relieve tension or ate food. The more so as my appreciation towards culinary grew with alcohol, for example black bread, lard, red pepper and vodka, as stereotypical as it sounds, was the combination that I liked. Without strong drinking, on the other hand, I have no hot feelings for culinary, more often feeling it as bothersome necessity. Well, I once or twice perhaps mixed vodka with cola and didn't eat anything, even though I knew that the fizz will only amplify the effects, but, surprisingly, it wasn't bad.

> its a habit sadly. and the holidays sort of intensified the urge. it seems this time of year

Guess your habit may be of social birth, just like for many?

> i feel its a matter of just me being weak minded in all honesty even at the point where i am aware of my limit

Couldn't blame you since I never experienced being harassed by the green snake myself. I did have a colleague who was like that, and I wonder if he was aware but chose to push on or didn't feel it at all.

> perhaps a lack of sun could be the reasoning?

Does weather impacts your mood, makes you more inclinated towards anxiety and depression?

> on a side note, how was your christmas?

We don't have christmas here, it is so called New Year of 31th instead, this soviet culture remnant. I do not like this holiday for various reasons and right now there aren't people around that I would get participated in with either. Moreover, it seems that this city isn't enthusiastic about it too. Not too long ago I strolled around the city but didn't see any christmas trees, garlands, placards or anything else. There were some plastic trees on the market, but it didn't seem to me like they sold them well. I'm not too familiar with this particular city, but, say, ten years ago I would surely find all this strange. Perhaps, local climate also pays in - there is no ice, no snow, no frost, it is continuous dank gray autumn. Also, TV. Didn't watch TV for years, but back in the days it was always these very same few soviet by-comedic films such as "The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath!" or "Office_Romance", reiterated old performances of comedians such as Zadornov and Petrosyan's "distorted mirror" humorist show , animated celebrity parodies, etc, but nothing new. The films themselves are good, but given how TV-men were spinning pitiful amounts of decayed content over and over again, people were already annoyed of them. And that was several years ago. I wonder what do they show now.

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 No.5897

File: aab8d49a150d997⋯.jpg (545.33 KB,900x900,1:1,75583939_p0.jpg)

No, he won't come ever again.

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 No.5898

File: 18c3bf0dac4f5b4⋯.png (315.92 KB,536x827,536:827,128.png)

i hope you guys are ready for the new year, i feel it will he and interesting new decade to say the least.

>>5887

>For me such practice is just unthinkable. I either drank just a little to relieve tension or ate food.

eh, i plan to start things new and sober up a bit more starting this new year. been thinking about it for some time, why not start now.

>Guess your habit may be of social birth, just like for many?

do not really understand, its been an issue for some time. whether it developed socially i would have to say yes, if thats what you were asking.

>Does weather impacts your mood, makes you more inclinated towards anxiety and depression?

yes, where i live the lack of color tends to get to me. and only gets worse during this season, very gray, very gloomy.

>We don't have christmas here, it is so called New Year of 31th instead, this soviet culture remnant.

thats interesting to know.

>there is no ice, no snow, no frost, it is continuous dank gray autumn.

sounds very familiar to here, i feevery gloomy indeed, as well as the very small population, its just a quiet place, and has been like that for years. one day i may leave. but as of now its just something i have to cope with.

>>5897

?

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 No.5899

File: e1eecd9736ae695⋯.jpg (880.61 KB,1378x1791,1378:1791,73971440_p0.jpg)

>>5898

It's just... I'm just...

Just...

Nevermind.

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 No.5900

File: cbbf62616df4282⋯.jpg (314.69 KB,821x1272,821:1272,c7b24af28705bb1c9f715fbd1e….jpg)

>>5899

if its not my place to know, no worries, i will not pry.

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 No.5901

File: 0e8d62e75b2662d⋯.jpg (18.41 KB,400x377,400:377,a37.jpg)

>>5898

> i feel it will he and interesting new decade to say the least.

Why is that? Well, unless it's related to personal matters.

> if thats what you were asking.

Yes. Do I speak weird?

> yes, where i live the lack of color tends to get to me. and only gets worse during this season, very gray, very gloomy.

IKTF. It was especially true in the past. Nowadays I do not care about weather as much as I did back then, though abundance of light still makes it hard for me to concentrate on things.

> sounds very familiar to here, i feevery gloomy indeed

I myself don't complain because it's rather fitting to my tastes. What I really dislike is downtrodden snow with dog poop, green spit and gray ash under bright sun.

> as well as the very small population, its just a quiet place, and has been like that for years. one day i may leave. but as of now its just something i have to cope with.

And many people want to leave their big cities to live in some quiet province. You may really need to experience live in a more populated and lively place or you may simply want to change your surrounding. Either way, being trapped in the same place indeed might feel terrible from time to time. Or do you perhaps want to change your conditions on a lesser, more personal scale, such as removal of encumbering furniture and change of view from the window or getting rid of people you are living with? Sometimes we are discontent with personal affairs and project these feelings onto surroundings as well.

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 No.5902

File: fd9813de3433dc7⋯.jpg (80.85 KB,309x780,103:260,76980408_p1.jpg)

>>5900

It's not that... I'm...

Just nevermind me, okay?..

I'm sorry.

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 No.5908

File: 5937841a82b6c12⋯.jpg (244.01 KB,850x1078,425:539,__kirakishou_rozen_maiden_….jpg)

I'd like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. The upcoming decade does not appear to be comfy, but I have a lot of plans to gain the most from it, and I really hope that you all aim for the same.

>>5883

>on a side note, how was your christmas?

We do celebrate Christmas in Ukraine, but it is being celebrated mostly at 6th of January in Orthodox culture. However, things are slowly creeping to the West, 25th is recognized as the public holiday now, and I personally had a small family Christmas supper at 25th.

The most peaked celebrations happens at 31th of December, though.

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 No.5909

File: 8612acf05744295⋯.png (129.4 KB,732x1899,244:633,155.png)

Those were some real fireworks! Lots of them, really loud, bright and diverse, throughout city, it really sounded as if fierce war suddenly broke out. So many people went outside of their houses too. I mean, it's all normal thing, but it wasn't anything so impressive like that in the past new year. Even though there are no decorations nor any other arrangements in the city, people themselves still celebrate it.

>>5908

Thank you! You have a fulfilling year, too. There is a lot to be done this year indeed.

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 No.5910

Decade, huh. Every decade is different indeed.

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 No.5911

File: 99a909f5c62116b⋯.jpg (196.52 KB,1024x732,256:183,EGMqvoQUUAExtw7.jpg)

>>5908

Merikuri...

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 No.5916

File: 6a4d357e2c4f2c5⋯.jpg (199.96 KB,299x445,299:445,ec7367a9153c71be37c84a9be3….jpg)

Happy new year everyone.

>>5901

>Why is that? Well, unless it's related to personal matters.

nothing very personal, just new developments in tech, changes on the internet -which concerns me the most-, i have a gut feeling it will be a decade of great change, cant put my finger on it or express it. just a feeling.

>Do I speak weird?

not at all, no worries. i can be a bit of a ditz at times.

>I myself don't complain because it's rather fitting to my tastes

fortunate, it tends to make me feel gloomy. this season is almost over though, more color, warmer weather.

>Or do you perhaps want to change your conditions on a lesser, more personal scale

that would probably be the case. just a want for something different, some kind of change. perhaps current living is growing stale, i dont know perhaps now that i am following my new years resolution, and sobering up i can figure something out with a clearer mind.

>>5902

no worries, hope you have a happy new year.

>>5908

kirafag! its good to see you, i missed you believe it or not, its nice to see you again. sorry for going ghost for soo long. things have been complicated.

>The upcoming decade does not appear to be comfy, but I have a lot of plans to gain the most from it

i only hope for the best, this year will be the year of change and becoming better and stronger. Stagnation has been getting to me and the want for change has only been growing. this will be a rough start, but i have to do something its all my heart tells me, i feel this is the time to act on it. Will we be seeing more of you?

>>5910

>Every decade is different indeed.

i only hope for the best possible difference. especially the closer upcoming years.

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 No.5917

File: 200f85a2d8f6f57⋯.jpg (506.48 KB,1536x2048,3:4,EFTJi_hUcAEmdzZ.jpg)

>>5916

Merikuri.

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 No.5922

File: 572e2e94bb68295⋯.png (1.26 MB,700x1000,7:10,15780458948040.png)

File: b4b8dbf58a94086⋯.png (586.91 KB,871x1574,871:1574,136946155052.png)

>>5916

>new developments in tech,

That's quite improbable unfortunately.

We are already using lithium-based rechargeable batteries, it is the lightest solid-state element with the highest negative ionic potential among of all metals, the only non-nuclear energy storage that could beat that is to create and artificial digesting system to extract the energy from the ordinary food processing, but I doubt it is possible to do such thing without supplanting it with the rest parts of living creature...

We are stuck with the processing power as well, the CMOS silicon ICs is the only CPU technology that has zero power consumption for the parts that are not switching at the moment. There are many multi-GHz CMOS transistors alternatives, but none of them could offer billions of idle transistors on a single chip due to the overheating issues.

Multi-chip designs overcome the overheating issues, but they are constrained with the speed of light (the clock signal propagates with the speed of 5" per nanosecond, For 10GHz switching speed we will miss a clock cycle if the clock source is farther that 1/2" thus making impossible any multi-chip CPU designs at that large speed)

We are also stuck with the RAM size and CPU complexity, 7nm feature size means that the distinctive semiconductor areas are comprised within only 70 pcs of silicon atoms layers. There is simply no room for fine tuning, as we may add only 1/70, 2/70, etc steps doping element concentrations, thus making semiconductor manufacturing increasingly more inflexible. Not to mention that the smaller the feature size requires even more clean chemicals, ultra stable buildings free from any vibrations, expensive equipment etc.

We are not commuting faster and are not gaining larger apartments per $, after all.

There are many things that could be achieved with deep learning, computer vision etc., but honestly, I can't treat most of that innovations as a real advancements if they could be simply achieved with the plain human servants or slaves millenniums ago.

We are stuck reinventing the functionally same things instead of a real advancements beyond our existing nature, and I'm afraid, only things like a new wold wide warfare could push it further.

On the positive side, however, even the current state of the technology is far far more advanced than the capabilities to understand and use it for the needs of the average person, and that feels to be even more challenging to overcome.

>things have been complicated.

Same here, working for the pacific time zone based customer messed up my daily schedule, I'm lacking time for many activities I've used to had.

I need to stick with it for a year and a half, then I'll be eligible for a permanent relocation on-site and I'm going to use that opportunity.

>Will we be seeing more of you?

I can visit /desu occasionally, but honestly, I don't feel I belong here.

Maidens and the related memes are generally praised on the western boards and can be occasionally met anywhere, while on many russian chans they are generally hated by anons or even banned on sight and are forced to be literally cancerous formations at /b due to historical reasons.

https://youtu.be/zmKUP1ezLKo

The BO is 4chan's ancientfag and he is pretty much convenient with the western visions and memes, while I came to the chans at the time when the most rm-related activities were closed for the new members. I was drawn to one of them by some physics discussion but it was ultimately b&dalld just a few hours later, while all other places were flooded with the shitstorms and dramas.

I've never intended to lead any community and never pretend to be the last word of how to treat RM fandom or to be part of something official. I was just too weak to stand aside and not to try to disrupt the fake self-deleting threads wipe with the first thing that came up to my mind, and many posters trusted me to lead the threads chain further, and I try to do my best to avoid the things that was destructive for the similar communities in the past.

It's pretty hard to leave all observations and memories at the door and abstain from attempts to correct the things that feels to be harmful in future here, so I think it's better to not challenge that feels with frequent visits. I do hope this community would exist and prosper on it's own, though, and the release of the 16th and 17th Floors translations may lead to a new small spike of the rm fans.

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 No.5936

File: 585502eaea826d9⋯.png (17.2 KB,700x700,1:1,sigh.png)

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 No.5937

Grabbing people’s heads and clinging on

Then melting their skull

Consuming their brain until there’s nothing left

Multiplying in the process

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 No.5938

Finding prey, then getting closer

To grab their legs and lift them

And drop them from high places

Then eat them while they’re still alive

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 No.5939

Grabbing people’s heads and clinging on

Then melting their skull

Consuming their brain until there’s nothing left

Multiplying in the process

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 No.5940

Finding prey, then getting closer

To grab their legs and lift them

And drop them from high places

Then eat them while they’re still alive

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 No.5942

yawn

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 No.5944

File: 127a682097fd43d⋯.png (14.55 KB,700x700,1:1,whatever.png)

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 No.5953

File: 6d902372c633b4d⋯.png (14.57 KB,700x700,1:1,...png)

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 No.5958

File: 360bdf60fa5c9e3⋯.png (14.53 KB,700x700,1:1,hmph.png)

I really wonder...

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 No.5959

File: 7fdb9783bc49b43⋯.png (13.43 KB,700x700,1:1,screech.png)

And don't you dare to tell me later that this board is dead and all that shit.

Fucking bullshit.

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 No.5960

File: 9e8d22694ce74ad⋯.png (205 B,700x700,1:1,blam.png)

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 No.5962

File: 332009e04905855⋯.png (163.7 KB,279x485,279:485,64.png)

>>5922

that is quite a powerful understanding of such things, wish i had enough insight to even begin to comprehend it.

>I'm lacking time for many activities I've used to had.

sorry to hear that, i can relate in a way, but things are getting better. I have done a good job soo far keeping my head clear, which somehow fixed my sleeping patterns, at the same time there is no numbing stresses so that is one flaw, but oh well what can i do.

>I need to stick with it for a year and a half, then I'll be eligible for a permanent relocation on-site and I'm going to use that opportunity.

will it be much better than your current living?

>I can visit /desu occasionally, but honestly, I don't feel I belong here.

a visit every now and then would be nice, i have not came around to visit you lately, i feel bad about that at times.

>I do hope this community would exist and prosper on it's own, though, and the release of the 16th and 17th Floors translations may lead to a new small spike of the rm fans.

I hope for the same, translations are almost finished. some cleaning and typesetting is all that is left, though attracting the imageboard demographic may not be as easy. but only time will tell.

I hope to hear from you again kira.

>>5959

far from dead.

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 No.5963

File: 81f6f46081bde81⋯.png (7.61 KB,700x700,1:1,peek.png)

>>5962

Good, good.

Still waiting for >>5861 and >>5884

And again how are you?

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 No.5967

File: d13b31a064d8260⋯.png (14.5 KB,700x700,1:1,tired.png)

>>5922

Enough of that. Let's forget this stupid misunderstanding of ours. Please.

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 No.5973

File: 675aa2244246c5f⋯.jpg (1.29 MB,1500x1500,1:1,Kazami.Yuuka.full.703276-b….jpg)

why hello there desuturds. Is this a super sekrit club of /bant/ers?

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 No.5974

File: cda6f0d43d0c7df⋯.png (22.11 KB,700x700,1:1,sunflower ~desu.png)

>>5973

Hello-hello there, fellow Yuukafag! Yay, yuuyuu ~ desu

>Is this a super sekrit club of /bant/ers?

Nope, not even close, hehehe. Perhaps, you should read the sticky one more time?

Well, so far this is just a little home for a couple of desurozenfags, but it's always nice to see new faces, as they say. Especially Yuukas!

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Post last edited at

 No.5979

File: c938ea4ab55b207⋯.png (28.57 KB,1600x1600,1:1,how to fuck up.png)

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 No.5980

File: 0b388a6c1fa6899⋯.png (16.18 KB,800x800,1:1,sitting.png)

Hmph!..

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 No.5981

File: 79b5b5a301597cc⋯.jpg (312.69 KB,620x690,62:69,__kirakishou_rozen_maiden_….jpg)

Don't worry...

be...

ha-ppy...

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 No.5982

File: f3f882e3763e968⋯.png (12.33 KB,750x750,1:1,...png)

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 No.5983

File: d0bb5bcc627047d⋯.jpg (487.21 KB,650x943,650:943,suigintou_by_urusai_baka-d….jpg)

>>5963

>Still waiting

hopefully soon, hope all is well, this month has been a busy one, but overall a good one. On a side not sobriety has helped on a few levels, seems coffee curves my cravings to indulge in a drink.

>>5973

>Is this a super sekrit club of /bant/ers?

no, /bant/ was a thread populated by other sites posters and crossboarders, that i know of there are only two that spawned from those threads native to /bant/ and they are not here.

>>5981

hope all is well kirafag.

lets play nice now, its not my place to say anything but it would be nice to bury the hatchet. there is still some guilt i hold because most of this was infact my fault.

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 No.5984

File: 76fcd9e87437da2⋯.png (12.2 KB,600x600,1:1,mmhm.png)

>>5983

Mmhm. I've been better, I guess. Consider trying benzos instead, though.

Nope, not your fault at all, but mine. Mine and only mine.

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 No.5985

File: cea474738bfc8d5⋯.jpg (236.75 KB,1024x1446,512:723,CeEHk_eUUAEX7d4.jpg)

>>5962

> wish i had enough insight to even begin to comprehend it.

Well, I believe the apartments cost and commute time are concise enough even without deep understanding of science.

Things are not so pessimistic actually, there are no flying cars or teleports, but there are many not so obvious things that makes our lives much more comfy or give us an opportunity to have fun with previously unobtanium things, like ordering a custom industrial-grade PCB's.

There was an article in Soviet ham radio journal at 1974 with the jokes about future of amateur radio and communication technologies:

-- by 1999 all transceivers would contain embedded computers for the signal processing and the future amateurs would share the algorithms like they are sharing electronic schematic and there was even prediction that the size of the algorithms would outgrow printed media capabilities. Confirmed, we are extensively using DSP algorithms and digital signals.

-- by 1999 short waves (>10m, less than 30MHz) would be abandoned by broadcasters and would be given to amateurs. Well, AM radios are abandoned in many countries like Russia indeed and are being phasing out all over the globe, the Chinese, DPRK's and alike foreign-destined broadcasts are the exceptions.

-- by 1999 UHF waves would be a commonplace. Confirmed, satellite TV receivers with 12GHz dishes were ubiquitous since 90s.

-- by 2024 there would be a new power sources that would allow us to perform an amateur communications from everywhere, even while in commute, and distributed re-transmitters network would make the establishing the communications with the respondents all over the glove the elementary school grade fun. Confirmed as fuck!

Sadly there are no further updates from the same engineers.

> I have done a good job soo far keeping my head clear, which somehow fixed my sleeping patterns

That is a thing that I'd like to change, the alternating wake up times due to customer's schedule makes is very challenging to sleep well.

> will it be much better than your current living?

The programmers and sailors are the only two viable job options in Ukraine to do something legal and profitable, unfortunately. The things are too unstable due to the politics and even while I'm earing a good money now, I cannot assure that I'll have the job options for the next decades or that I can give some opportunities for my children, so I'm going to relocate to some more stable country, and the US seems to be stable enough, welcome for foreigners and seems to be resistant enough to the ideas that had destroyed soviet union in the past.

It depends on the actual customer it's location and local policies. Long term, I dream to left off the programming and enter something more scientific or engineering related, something like SpaceX or Boston Dynamics.

> i have not came around to visit you lately, i feel bad about that at times.

You don't have to feel sorry for that, I perfectly understand that the language barrier and chanspeak are big communication issues. There is also a large spike of rozenfags refugees from 2ch.hk that were temporarily allowed for holidays and then mass banned and there are dozens of a new posters at 2ch.rip now and it is quite hard to track the thread even within the same language at that speed.

> though attracting the imageboard demographic may not be as easy. but only time will tell.

Well, all major russian communities have received the notifications about the new translations upcoming, I hope they won't stuck for another year.

There was a year long gap between Spanish and English/Russian versions at the 2015 and I'd like to read the rm tales ending so much that I've crudely translated the last 5-6 chapters from Spanish by myself, though it had messed up my understanding a bit.

> I hope to hear from you again kira.

Honestly, I've been quite busy and overwhelmed with russian chans activities, but I've been triggered to come here at 2ch.rip now and to start analyzing others feels one again.

>>5981

I'm happy, though I'm tired from a poor sleep.

I feel you are thinking that there is some kind of misunderstanding that must be fixed, to I'm to return to actively posting here and that sole effort should be enough to make /desu great again, aren't you?

I'm not in a proper condition to make some summaries or advice anything, it's early morning here, but I'd like you to note that the same type of... inconvenience, same feel of being encumbered to start the conversation first while wanting to do so, same type of searching for a vital forces for discussions and the same feels that someone alien like me can push the speech forward were expressed by /bant-ers long before any "misunderstandings": >>4303

That "misunderstanding" is a consequence, not a cause, it's not something that could be just pushed harder to overcome and just making more posts won't be helpful.

https://youtu.be/VZHej5MEYFw

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 No.5986

File: ae0f6a83b7f483f⋯.png (16.05 KB,800x800,1:1,so that how it is.png)

I just wanted to apologize. And forget everything. So we can be friends again. So that everything will be alright again, the way it was. While there is still some time before my death.

That's all.

Baka.

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 No.5987

Baka...

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 No.5989

File: 7e6c548db2e2df4⋯.png (1.38 MB,1280x960,4:3,15779859671700.png)

>>5986

У меня нет к тебе претензий и тебе не за что извиняться. И если честно, я не горю желанием копаться в чужих мыслях, в особености после почти годового перерыва, но раз ты этого хочешь...

>And forget everything

Не получится, так как

>everything will be alright again, the way it was

Нужно четко уточнить, на какой именно момент времени.

Как на иначе конца 2014?

Как при попытке переезда на 8чан на 8-е марта 2015?

Как сразу после переезда на пихач?

Как в /f пихача?

Как в /fm инчорга?

Как после пропадания прошлого борд овнера?

Как после того как им стал ты?

Как после появления дельты?

Как после уединения с дельтой?

Как после моего ухода?

Как после твоей попытки ухода весной?

Как в начале текущего треда?

>be friends

Что стало с дельтой?

Что стало с /fm инчорга?

С другим десуфагом с тульпой?

С прошлым борд овнером?

С Лейной?

Со всеми теми бывшими ранее кого я не знаю?

Поскольку я не замечал волны жалоб или ненависти на тебя, то похоже ты сам их дропал, или активность тихо угасала в замкнутом объеме.

И если не списывать все на череду психозов каждый раз, единственное рациональное объяснение всему вышеперечисленному, что ты не только сейчас

>there is still some time before my death.

но и в каждый момент времени прошлого ожидаешь что умрешь до того как прошлый человек/сообщество себя исчерпают, что выражается во всех этих желаниях дожить последние моменты с кем-то выцепленным в уединенной обстановке, а так же не способность на самом деле кого-либо любить. К последнему очевидно добавляется еще и то, что твое сердце уже надежно занято.

У меня противоположное отношение к жизни - даже если бы мне оставалось жить считанные недели, мне хотелось бы что-то после себя оставить, материального, памяти, чего-нибудь, чтобы если кто-то за пределами материалистической реальности существует, чтобы было что предъявить им как итог своего копчения неба.

И RM для меня тайтл о борьбе за место в мире и совершествовании, и в идеале мне хотелось бы видеть вокруг тех, кого зацепило в нем именно это, а не тупые форсы или ореол элитизма былых куклочанов. И Кира мне нравится именно за то что она единственная пыталась строить мир лучше чем он есть, несмотря на все стартовые лишения, неудачи, количества случайных жертв и полное одиночество, а так же за то что несмотря ни на что не озлобилась и не выпилила всех, хотя имела такую возможность.

Я не знаю, что с этим всем делать.

https://youtu.be/nfj_4aO3a-A

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 No.5990

File: fbf99e55caad874⋯.png (6.91 KB,450x450,1:1,everything is wrong.png)

>>5989

Дурак ты просто. Извини за эти слова, но ты и правда просто самый настоящий дурак.

>в каждый момент времени прошлого ожидаешь что умрешь

А нет у меня сейчас выбора, умирать или не умирать, если ты не заметил. Какое у тебя интересное рациональное объяснение получилось, практически без вводных данных. Тринадцать лет по всей Сети за мной следил и находился рядом, наверное. И то, даже те, тобой перечисленные, оставили меня, а не я их. Все, кроме Дельты.

>не способность на самом деле кого-либо любить

Именно. Вот только не у меня, а у тебя. Поэтому ты так ничего и не понял. Не понимаешь сейчас. И вряд ли уже поймёшь. Кирафаг-материалист.

>тупые форсы или ореол элитизма былых куклочанов

А ведь на самом деле как раз именно за это ты в самом начале и зацепился, сколько же раз ты сам эту историю всем пересказывал. И, видимо, именно это и продолжает держать тебя в твоём треде-приложению к конференции вконтакте, в котором все друг друга практически по именам знают и вообще не имеют никакого отношения к RM, кроме аватарок и того, что смотрели.

Иронично.

Просто не суждено значит, наверное. Спасибо тебе за всё. Всё-всё. Правда.

Прощай.

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 No.5991

File: f51cb820e30ce90⋯.jpg (80.41 KB,540x764,135:191,14298300 (3).jpg)

>>5990

>А нет у меня сейчас выбора, умирать или не умирать, если ты не заметил

Этого выбора нет ни у кого, зато у всех есть выбор, как к этому относиться.

>спойлер

С пихача ты ушел сам. С инчорговскими тоже начал прощаться сам, раз они даже пришли спрашивать как у тебя обстоят дела.

Про остальных скорее личные ощущения, да, но я не замечал, чтобы тебя кто-то вдруг начал не любить.

>Поэтому ты так ничего и не понял. Не понимаешь сейчас. И вряд ли уже поймёшь.

Мне просто хватило одного раза в далеком прошлом, чтобы больше никогда не снижать дистанцию ближе чем позволяет формат борды, как бы не хотелось иногда. Не с кем-либо из сети.

Это не непонимание. Циничное отношение сложено из не одного десятка историй, вида, сошлись в личках, сошлись ирл, жили друг другом, а потом все стухло или даже разразилось ревностью к более свежим и веселым знакомым в сети, и количеством порождаемых их "плодами любви" проблем мне, в частности, когда пара таких врагов начинают перетягивать меня между своими сторонами.

После таких случаев не то что самому участвовать в подобном, но даже видеть развитие событий не хочется, чтобы не множить печалей и разочарования в людях.

>на самом деле как раз именно за это ты в самом начале и зацепился

В самом начале, за собственно просмотр РМ - да. А потом прошло полгода, прежде чем я заметил что там бывают и близкие по духу люди, и сами эти треды я обходил стороной, как впрочем и любые другие, сидя исключительно в ридонли.

Ты знаешь более, кхм, непорочные, примеры изначальных зацеплений?

>в твоём треде-приложению к конференции вконтакте, в котором все друг друга практически по именам знают

Ок, допустим.

Оно таким было и год, и два, и пять лет назад. И таким же было и здесь, около времени как ты стал борд овнером.

О каких таких тогда временах

>everything will be alright again, the way it was

идет речь, если ты считаешь этот формат неправильным? Я с тобой вместе ни в каких других не участвовал.

>вообще не имеют никакого отношения к RM

Я не видел на бордах тех, кому Peach-Pit давали согласие на производные работы. Даже переводы тейлов и RM0, и те по существу являются пиратством.

А любое другое "отношение к RM" является консенсусом в головах конкретной мелкой группки людей его разделяющего.

Считать что только у тебя оно правильное и называется элитизмом.

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 No.5992

File: 0187e28b92ce1b1⋯.jpg (42.25 KB,350x350,1:1,coolface.jpg)

>треде-приложению к конференции вконтакте

Конфобляди уже не те.

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 No.5994

>>5992

Хи-хи

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 No.5995

> И таким же было и здесь, около времени как ты стал борд овнером.

Десуфажик, а чё, у вас тут тоже конфа вкудахте есть?

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 No.5996

>>5995

Ни разу не встречал околорм движух, чтоб обходились без конфоблядства и личечек.

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 No.5997

File: 4babb293ec1447a⋯.png (3.76 KB,500x500,1:1,minidesu.png)

>>5995

Не-а. Я даже сайтом-то этим не пользуюсь.

"Тут" вообще никаких "конф" нет и не было, если не считать времён до нас, когда тут Дэсуня бордовнером был, наверное. Здесь вообще чёрт-те что творилось тогда...

У нас с Дельтой только ситуб на случай падений есть, все знают.

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 No.5998

>>5997

Ну а фотки и ИРЛ имена у вас там есть на ситубе?

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 No.5999

File: cf4aa4b3a3e3bde⋯.png (15.1 KB,700x700,1:1,super funny.png)

>>5998

Естественно, ФИО, адрес и паспорта на аватарах.

Ещё чего.

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 No.6000

>>5991

>>5997

>>5999

Кираньюфаг, ну и почему ты такой пиздабол?

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 No.6001

>>6000

О, гетъ.

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 No.6002

File: 51bd14283457676⋯.png (220.92 KB,450x415,90:83,approve.png)

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 No.6003

>>6002

Ты главное не парься так насчёт него, у него прост аспрегер или что-то типа того. А почему тут геты красненким? Нигде в дашборде не видел такой опции вроде.

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 No.6004

>>5996

Так это ж буржуйская движуха, а не куклоёбы.

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 No.6005

File: 89e1979e22102a3⋯.png (9.41 KB,600x600,1:1,cute.png)

>>6003

CSS же ведь.

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 No.6006

>>6005

А. Прикольно.

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 No.6007

>>6004

Здеся один буржуй всего.

>не куклоёбы

Тохоёбы штоле?

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 No.6008

>>6007

Хуй его знает, раньше их тут большинство было.

> Тохоёбы штоле?

Ну не наши каргокультисты-куклоёбы, как ещё тебе сказать, чё ты до слов-то доёбываешься?

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 No.6009

>>6008

Буржуи кончились, остались наши куклоёбы.

*Ваш кэп*

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 No.6011

>>6009

Наших не осталось, последний жидко обосрался и поди уже не придёт.

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 No.6016

>>6015

Десалик таки не наш. Братишка, мне кажется ты ошибся бордой, куклотреды двумя кварталами ниже.

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 No.6025

File: ce7109106039609⋯.png (8.65 KB,500x500,1:1,Lines 33.png)

Don't mind them, my fellow. ~desu

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 No.6030

File: 2a77561ace7f241⋯.png (214.82 KB,657x472,657:472,130.png)

>>5991

will reply to the rest once hands are free, there was word the there are some higher quality raws from the russian translators, was wondering if you had any contact with them, english translators were wondering if the cleans can be obtained.

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 No.6034

File: ffe053ab52195f0⋯.gif (15.35 KB,500x500,1:1,laughter.gif)

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 No.6035

File: 5e4bebc3cdc2480⋯.png (6.68 KB,600x450,4:3,~.png)

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 No.6036

File: 4426cdc1f52e5b7⋯.jpg (196.14 KB,586x1001,586:1001,15609345834650-rm.jpg)

>>6030

Well, I know their team, though I don't like to cross the chans and other communities off the chans without a reason, so I don't watch their progress constantly.

They are using the Amazon Kindle rip-offs unfortunately, they didn't succeed with obtaining a hard copies, but they are looking forward to order them.

Currently they are focused on the translation past the 18th floor itself and are going to apply the scripts later if there will be higher quality raws, and the kindle's ripoffs would be used as a backup.

The BO openly blames the russian rm communities as well as the desüchan for various reasons that are equally applicable to /desu.

He came to .rip and blamed anons there for the lack of the OC at russian chans and my low efforts to sort and upload 120000+ images to rm.booru.org, then apologized and called me here a couple weeks ago to discuss the matter. But he doesn't want to do so, he wants me to unconditionally forget everything without even listening to my feels, and my tries to discuss the matter have splashed into another blames to my community and me personally for not understanding the concept of love at all.

That's not going to be constructive, and I believe I should not ever came here again. If you ever want to reach me, you may do so at 2ch.rip

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 No.6037

File: f9b12164e21ed25⋯.png (16.14 KB,800x800,1:1,く.png)

Liar.

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 No.6099

File: 6bfdcac437ccd3d⋯.png (17.27 KB,700x700,1:1,shrug.png)

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 No.6100

File: 3b870120cf3c4a6⋯.png (372.86 KB,412x888,103:222,84.png)

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 No.6101

>>6100

so,

> how about you?

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 No.6102

File: 91d8225eecb5088⋯.png (111.5 KB,227x388,227:388,42.png)

>>6101

all is well, sick. but doing okay. These last few weeks have been interesting, a lot happening and its grown hard to keep track of it all, however it is a necessity to try, both off and online, since the lockdown i have been wandering and was lucky to find epsilon. i hope things will be better, may take time. hopefully everything will be alright. how is the covid-19 situation in your area, i have been curious.

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 No.6103

File: 44fd8f07acd00db⋯.jpg (121.28 KB,800x604,200:151,CxeQg50VEAACz4l.jpg)

>>6102

I AM epsilon /0

but it's alright, it happens. a lot more frequent with you though, hehe, but it's okay.

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 No.6104

File: 99448058eb75a21⋯.png (157.13 KB,350x383,350:383,88.png)

>>6103

i can be a bit of a doofus, its all soo confusing at times. one day i will be used to it.

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 No.6105

File: 5985abe338ad255⋯.png (9.67 KB,600x600,1:1,Suiseiseki_Lines_41.png)

Well congratulations, you got your board back. Now what's the next step of your master plan?

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 No.6106

File: 585502eaea826d9⋯.png (17.2 KB,700x700,1:1,i_dunno_lol.png)

>>6105

hmmmmm,,,

pic related

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 No.6107

File: e222a2f2b5e0687⋯.png (14.89 KB,700x700,1:1,sigh.png)

>>6106

Nuff said...

Then do what you want, but leave me alone.

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 No.6108

File: 4f963633505b0a5⋯.png (328.23 KB,780x780,1:1,000000000.png)

>>6107

alright, alright...

thank you.

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 No.6109

File: 7922b15c1255d94⋯.png (75.86 KB,245x479,245:479,123.png)

>>6107

yes, thankyou. Also, good to see you again.

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 No.6111

File: bffe924c9228aa7⋯.png (382.17 KB,780x706,390:353,00000009.png)

beta/gamma? eta? theta? notdesu? heartdesu? shinkufag? anyone...

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 No.6112

File: 41eca43a35613d1⋯.png (137.11 KB,320x240,4:3,13584822447265.png)

hey, maybe we can help you with your booru?

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 No.6113

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 No.6114

File: 61a326fb42c33e9⋯.png (106.08 KB,349x258,349:258,66.png)

>>6111

dont worry, perhaps in time others will show,for now lets just be happy we are not wandering anymore. Things will get better, all in time.

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 No.6121

File: da0027c1970b247⋯.png (459.77 KB,718x921,718:921,82.png)

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 No.6123

File: 8f0be1d55e5b5ee⋯.png (57.72 KB,253x303,253:303,sou_58.png)

is good to breathe in here again

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 No.6127

File: 18c3bf0dac4f5b4⋯.png (315.92 KB,536x827,536:827,128.png)

agreed

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 No.6133

File: 455beeaee30ebc9⋯.jpg (642.47 KB,2480x2100,124:105,80368105_p2.jpg)

Just as I thought.

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 No.6134

File: 50d01446307475c⋯.png (109.09 KB,440x434,220:217,12.png)

>>6133

that being?

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 No.6135

File: 4d466f609aaf325⋯.png (604.28 KB,600x800,3:4,80412513_p2.png)

>>6134

Silence and inactivity, obviously.

sigh

Is the updated CSS better, or should I reverse it back?

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 No.6136

File: ed7de76daa6f579⋯.png (54.37 KB,250x417,250:417,98.png)

>>6135

>Silence and inactivity, obviously.

it happends, sorry i havent been around. just sick, been hitting the bottle a little too hard. I really need to get myself together.

>Is the updated CSS better, or should I reverse it back?

the newer CSS was really nice on the eyes, however the animation was nauseating. Not you would add that i am sure.

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 No.6137

File: 2a7f848087a61f0⋯.png (25.11 KB,1024x1600,16:25,Suiseiseki_Lines_112.png)

>>6136

>however the animation was nauseating

That was the point. But I was talking about current updated version. These silly buttons, nice cleaning up and placing, I guess, not anymore completely fucked up QR... And all these minor things. Well, you can see it all for yourself, I think.

>been hitting the bottle a little too hard.

Same shit. But a little bit worse, I guess. You know, alcohol, benzos, GABA-mimetics, analgesics, and dramamine is a hellout of a cocktail, not even counting paroxetine withdrawal syndrome straight from the ninth circle of hell.

And the damn smell of bleach and disinfectants from outside. Almost 24/7 in the gas mask or venting.

We barely went outside for... Six months, I guess? Well, another six months or a year will pass very fast and barely noticeably, I guess. I'm not afraid to die, you know, I'm already a dead man. We're much more likely to die from our tumor, heart attack, drug poisoning, or suicide, despite how rapidly the virus spreads and mutates.

To be really honest, I was always ready for something like this, I waited for it, I begged for it from the Seven and Nyaruko, spilling my own blood and destroying poor empty souls of others. To change something. So that at least something in this dreamworld will change. And finally... My wish began to come true, as I had been told in my dream. At least some heretics will be punished and purged, hee.

This fucking dream full of pain and suffering, and rust, rotting concrete, blood, eyes and mannequin-like creatures everywhere, that never ends. With a single green ray of light in this inferno.

But maybe it isn't such a bad dream, if it ends after the first time...

I'm so terribly sorry about all this shit, I think that I drank a little too much.

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 No.6139

File: a957519dad4ae78⋯.png (3.92 KB,600x450,4:3,Suiseiseki_Lines_143.png)

But no matter how much I drink, I always stay almost sober, damn this SSRI induced apathy syndrome...

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 No.6141

File: 2c3b1eb4bbd1d0e⋯.jpg (483.36 KB,735x680,147:136,80170293_p02.jpg)

By the way, you still haven't responded to my post, but it's probably not relevant anymore, I guess.

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 No.6142

File: 63d1d1e3656a4a4⋯.png (24.16 KB,400x272,25:17,sleep.png)

Time for some sleep, I guess...

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 No.6143

File: 3d03de7feac259d⋯.png (78.34 KB,201x324,67:108,69.png)

>>6137

>And the damn smell of bleach and disinfectants from outside. Almost 24/7 in the gas mask or venting.

I was actually curious about the current situation out there, seems like we are currently in a mad world, and it get increasingly crazier by the day. I myself have been staying in, in time it will find me, for now I am just riding it out. soon it will be here, very soon.

>I guess. I'm not afraid to die, you know, I'm already a dead man.

in a sense we all are, i feel if i dont straighten up i will end up hurting myself from the inside, even now I feel very weak, constantly falling asleep and waking up from fever dreams, even as i am typing this i keep nodding off. Something needs to change, however looking at the current situation i cannot help but numb the thoughts away, even if i am poisoning myself.

>I'm so terribly sorry about all this shit, I think that I drank a little too much.

not a problem, its okay to vent your frustrations, there are times I cant even articulate some of the misery i feel, my situation is not nearly as bad as yours, I just question why do these things happen, and being cursed with really bad paranoia, and a slight schizoid does not help my case, i feel its harmful to others, even if its a goal of mine to reach out to people and help them. Perhaps to learn from my mistakes that lead me to the mental state i am in today, its all just soo tiresome, but i will keep pushing.

>>6139

hang in there friend.

>>6141

>By the way, you still haven't responded to my post, but it's probably not relevant anymore, I guess.

i may have missed it, what was it by any chance?

>>6142

sleep well.

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 No.6144

File: abce3d307f841a5⋯.png (493.21 KB,670x900,67:90,SuiDrink7.png)

>>6143

Not so good, as it seems to me, despite the official info and numbers. Well, heck, if you think about it, even according to them situation not seems to be very fortunate there.

This city was closed for quarantine 3 days ago until the very end of this month, but I am sure that they will extend it even more in time. There's already ~10 officialy confirmed cases and thousands of people who could contact them in isolation. For violation of the quarantine and distancing, you are being turned back home with an escort, or get fined with the equivalent of a whole month's salary, as I understood it.

Outside passing by lonely people wear surgical masks, respirators, gas masks, and DIY multi-layer gauze masks, and some have safety glasses. I wonder where they get their surgical masks and respirators, because in this city at the beginning of last month some speculators bought all the damn masks, even the warehouses for them are still empty. Hell, even doctors buy panoramic GP9/PPM-88 gas masks from a weapon/equipment trading "friend" of mine, because they don't have masks, it's fucking ridiculous. And I haven't heard of this happening in other cities. I wouldn't even be surprised if all these masks actually flew to Italy or the US a long time ago for Trump to say that "it's very nice of us" or something like that. But most likely they were simply stolen to Kazakhstan. No, really, no joke. Damn you, sneaky and evil Borat! City with over a million. It's absolutely ridiculous and funny. And scary at the same time, I guess. But some people still get them from somewhere, interesting... Some way back from Kazakhstan, perhaps?

Eh. That's enough of me talking about that, I guess. Masks-shmasks, fuck it, I have a ton of gas masks, especially my favorite beloved customized PMK-2.

Vader's breathing sounds

>we are currently in a mad world, and it get increasingly crazier by the day.

Indeed, indeed...

>even as i am typing this i keep nodding off.

Me too. The bonus problem is that I simply can't sleep without pumping up my GABAergic system with elephant doses of benzodiazepines and ethanol or just barbiturates, but I don't need them since I have a shitton of benzodiazepine reserves, and reducing muscle tone and thought processes by clashing nicotine (n-cholinomimetic, duh) and anticholinergic. It works somehow.

>Something needs to change

Consider trying baclofen. Take it in small doses everyday, 5-15 mg, and it will cure alcohol addiction, I guarantee it. Look for Ozobax in drugstore, or, less likely, Lioresal, Kemstro, Liofen and Gablofen. But don't try to mix it with alcohol or benzos, or you will experience a lot of new unusual feelings and see such sights...

pinhead.jpg

But we don't really want that, right? Right, we just want to stop drinking. shakes finger

>its okay to vent your frustrations

I know, I know... But you know that Sui and I are going through all this together, and I don't want to throw my filth, hatred and rust on Delta, he's sad enough without it. I don't talk to anyone else at all. And I just have no one to talk to. And don't really want to. Well, except you at the moment, I guess...

>but i will keep pushing.

I'm glad.

>i may have missed it, what was it by any chance?

>>5861

But as I said, it's probably not relevant anymore.

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 No.6147

File: d473f77c3eab4c4⋯.jpg (81.6 KB,406x600,203:300,darkrozen2339.jpg)

♫ hums something ♫

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Post last edited at

 No.6148

File: 74593e1198ca2f6⋯.png (132.31 KB,333x783,37:87,10.png)

>>6144

>This city was closed for quarantine 3 days ago until the very end of this month, but I am sure that they will extend it even more in time.

I agree, including here where most are concerned on trying to keep the economy afloat, which will only lead to more infections/reinfections. I have been staying in, supplied myself well enough to stay but til there is some sort of resolution, even then i do not see one in the near future, a shame. However there is nothing that can be dont and it will be a while before any results arrive.

>For violation of the quarantine and distancing, you are being turned back home with an escort, or get fined with the equivalent of a whole month's salary, as I understood it.

that is quite harsh, however to instill the seriousness of all this these measures may be necessary. most are not taking this seriously only because it has not reached that level in that sort of scale yet, and it will and may as well blame themselves as soul contributors.

>Eh. That's enough of me talking about that, I guess. Masks-shmasks, fuck it, I have a ton of gas masks, especially my favorite beloved customized PMK-2. Vader's breathing sounds

would be nice to have something as such in my possesion, i guess my stock on p-100's will have to do. they are for emergency shopping anyway. what can one do.

>Consider trying baclofen. Take it in small doses everyday, 5-15 mg, and it will cure alcohol addiction, I guarantee it.

would this perhaps, just be one hight to replace another?

>But we don't really want that, right? Right, we just want to stop drinking.

indeed, the cleanest route if possible. one day i will have the strength whether it be from continuous episodes of shaking and aches from binges, or actual alcohol poisoning. there will be a wakeup call eventually.

>Sui and I are going through all this together, and I don't want to throw my filth, hatred and rust on Delta, he's sad enough without it.

understood, i cannot argue with that.

>>5861

>Hmm. Perhaps making it a little bit darker, a couple of shades lower or something?

yeah something easier on the eyes, i prefer css much like muon, however something that dark would not match well. who knows, perhaps a test of something in that manner can yield good aesthetic results, up to you.

sorry for the delay, i seemed to have found myself in the same position as a few days ago, how foolish i can be at times.

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 No.6149

File: ef47e7b4519a55a⋯.jpg (38.07 KB,250x250,1:1,announcement.jpg)

Sorry, but your friend cannot reply to your post right now, but he definitely will, just wait, okay? Great!

And of course, it's very nice to meet you, but, aha, let's just say that I can't talk to you at the moment. Maybe next time! Bye-bye!

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 No.6150

File: c41fd77bf31188b⋯.png (251.2 KB,510x431,510:431,65.png)

knowing you will not reply, is he okay? also nice to meet you too.

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 No.6151

File: 7e1d18ef90a9897⋯.png (201.51 KB,431x417,431:417,50.png)

epsilon, you there?

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 No.6152

File: 180248e65d156cc⋯.jpg (162.69 KB,641x477,641:477,1535892416467.jpg)

It's been too long ~desu

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 No.6153

File: d1dae721013211b⋯.jpg (524.41 KB,900x1200,3:4,74428655_p0_master1200.jpg)

>>5897

Wrong ~desu

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 No.6154

File: 5763116b7e9e269⋯.png (102.14 KB,588x341,588:341,17.png)

and you are? not to be rude just curious.

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 No.6155

File: 0614ba39c40ce3c⋯.jpg (400.21 KB,2739x2445,913:815,1458903187993.jpg)

An old desufag whose been gone for far, far, far too long. ~desu

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 No.6156

File: 24b944cd4ca4e63⋯.jpg (12.77 KB,450x450,1:1,_.jpg)

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 No.6157

File: 2dbdd48be0b335c⋯.png (58.46 KB,450x450,1:1,that_so.png)

Ah. I see.

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 No.6158

File: 61586e3ab3a41dd⋯.png (79.13 KB,250x250,1:1,Absolute_Terror.png)

You won't hurt him. We won't let you do this.

We're warning you. Or we'll make him forget you for good.

We'll be watching you, desufag.

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 No.6159

File: 1c5bbbbcaf74350⋯.png (511.17 KB,1024x1024,1:1,57526739_p0.png)

>>6157

I am sorry I took so long

>>6158

no hurt, no more sadness now.

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 No.6160

File: bf24418fa07bcba⋯.png (98.14 KB,255x397,255:397,1551860672264.png)

Are you still there brother? I would ask how you are but I know it is not well. Are you at least safe during this pandemic?

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 No.6161

File: a4094351f4e4e61⋯.png (82.6 KB,263x598,263:598,6.png)

>>6160

he is away, been a couple days now, not sure what is going on, but it was assured he will return.

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 No.6162

File: 3b594eaa4392e4f⋯.jpg (88.14 KB,636x900,53:75,EDD91I_UcAArImN.jpg)

>>6161

Return... feels like such a strange word to describe him, as for me he is always there, even if he is very distant, and even if I am very distant.

Though I've certainly been distant for far too long.

I hope he will come talk to me, but I can't blame him for being mad at me either.

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 No.6163

File: a847855b4915c1b⋯.jpg (201.48 KB,900x1200,3:4,CkggcE1VEAAPxqO.jpg)

Not even going to ask me where I've been or why I've been gone so long?....

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 No.6164

File: b9c4c14da5eacfc⋯.jpg (412.12 KB,685x709,685:709,68517728_p0.jpg)

and what happened to the white rabbits? they seem to be missing? are they broken?

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 No.6165

File: 366f46b733c9d88⋯.jpg (83.42 KB,433x403,433:403,1455227733085.jpg)

Alright then, for now I need sleep. Oyasumi, ~desu

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 No.6166

File: e136153bb5b883c⋯.jpg (259.34 KB,960x768,5:4,illust_50602044_20200310_1….jpg)

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 No.6167

File: b43ede50a6d0fd0⋯.jpg (520.12 KB,1822x2048,911:1024,IMG_20200122_121422.jpg)

Im between naps, but forgot to mention the boards looking very nice, the css is nice and clean, and its been kept nice and safe and well maintained it seems ~desu

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 No.6168

File: 6063e599135f762⋯.jpg (418.18 KB,1217x1425,1217:1425,14581498567680.jpg)

For once I feel rested, and of course thats when I feel a sore throat. I should have rubbed vics rub on my chest last night.

can you believe it is snowing here? It's almost silly, One doesn't think of snow when one envisions a plague.

~desu

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 No.6169

File: 940b8716b15c574⋯.jpg (340.87 KB,1536x2048,3:4,IMG_20190209_163421.jpg)

are you really going to watch and not talk to me desu ka?

>>6158

>make him forget you for good

Why didnt you already?

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 No.6170

File: bb8acb0bddacaeb⋯.jpg (64.15 KB,600x600,1:1,ab3972aZFm3102x.jpg)

Are you, perhaps, not a former BO desu ka~ I mean, such a long time passed, that's a bit sudden, care to relate what it's been like?

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 No.6171

File: ec67ddc94ba0e12⋯.png (1.98 KB,250x250,1:1,Sui35384.png)

I'm sorry. I'm really tired. It's all so sudden, and so many questions... It's hard for me to talk right now. And I don't want to hurt you.

Sorry about the Twins, they're just trying to protect what's left of mine.

For now, maybe it's better to talk to Delta. Same goes for you, Gintofag.

Don't worry. I'm... Fine, I guess. In a way. I just need some time.

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 No.6172

clings to the head and chest

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 No.6173

File: d1a4e783521046d⋯.png (2.02 KB,150x150,1:1,sky_crop.png)

I'll better do the "castling move" again for now. See you...

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 No.6174

File: e33a6691c9aeb9b⋯.jpg (96.52 KB,480x543,160:181,o0480054313235779657.jpg)

>>6170

No it is definitely me. I have been trapped by rl commitments for a long time. I am not even sure how long its been since I was here, it feels like a blur. I lost my comfortable corporate office job I liked a whole lot, failure hurt me in a strong way, I became suicidal and wanted to throw myself off a parking lot for some time. I have been... slowly working back to stability. My energy for desuposting has been like a dim pilot light, it is always there, never turning off, ready to explode into flames when introduce to more gas, but by itself dim, small, and weak, while I focused most of myself on clawing my way back to some sense of normalcy and keeping a roof over my head and bills paid. I know my constant coming and going was no good, and painful, so I have been a ghost to everyone everywhere. I do not talk in discords or ircs, even in rozen discords I have to be dragged in and reminded to help with scanslation projects. The only places I've been is rl and that hellsite twitter where I can vent my frustrations and anger out, like pissing into an ocean of piss.

>>6171

It's okay, I am sorry for arriving so suddenly. It is okay, as all the questions you want, and its okay if you are a little upset at me too, I have been gone a really long time.

>Sorry about the Twins, they're just trying to protect what's left of mine.

I cannot blame them

>Don't worry. I'm... Fine, I guess. In a way. I just need some time.

I am just glad you are there, take your time.

>>6172

*pats your head*

>>6173

castling?

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 No.6175

File: 1d1d00d37727957⋯.gif (7.54 KB,285x285,1:1,castling_queenside.gif)

>>6174

>castling?

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 No.6176

File: 6fd4a1dd9d21193⋯.jpg (56.71 KB,600x896,75:112,CMIxt1tVAAA_sXr.jpg)

>>6175

Ah, I see, I think.

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 No.6177

File: f518a6af5e78a75⋯.jpg (140.1 KB,600x740,30:37,14581574835470.jpg)

I don't think you need to worry about hurting me by the way. I've been waiting until I had energy to come back for a reason. Things have been difficult, but they are well now

It's funny, the plague you spoke of wishing for to happen has given me more stability than even before

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 No.6178

File: e80a3b071c784f0⋯.jpg (122.06 KB,957x824,957:824,ES_UKkUwAA0QLn.jpg)

How do you all do? Hope you're safe and not ill.

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 No.6179

File: b04da19465b9171⋯.jpg (258.7 KB,1237x1689,1237:1689,1499285296158.jpg)

>>6178

Ironically this has all caused my life more stability not less. I volunteered to work from home and am now making more money than I was before. I was prepared with supplies before this all start, so I am having an easy time of all this. Im finally no longer fighting to keep insurance, to pay rent, etc. It's pretty nice, corona-chan is doing me major favors here.

I'm actually going to be sewing masks to donate tomorrow even.

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 No.6181

File: aedcc77111631f7⋯.jpg (2.32 MB,2508x3541,2508:3541,IMG_20180721_082407.jpg)

>>6180

>woah... "the appearance of Christ before the people", huh?

If only it weren't that complicated and dramatic.

Wish me luck, going to sleep then driving across the city to volunteer making masks for coworkers still working in stores. My sewing lessons are coming in handy.

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 No.6182

File: b41fb59e89339b8⋯.png (420.13 KB,516x532,129:133,1300315510558.png)

>>6181

good luck. sweet dreams.

and try not to fuck up with alpha again, omega.

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 No.6183

File: f82675abaf8bb53⋯.png (206.6 KB,400x370,40:37,1299778755628.png)

>>6170

how are you? how is our friend feeling? take care of him... them. I don't really want that board to be locked again because of some shit crap. and no, I don't mean to be that selfish, this is just my function in this place. just like yours, or his, or theirs, and theirs, y'know right, but a bit different. I really hope you will understand.

and big thanks to you too. the biggest thanks!

oh shit holy fricken forks we top trending nao--

aw. too late... nevermind lol

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 No.6184

File: 01a6ea44668d460⋯.jpg (731.9 KB,1536x2048,3:4,ac2153DFxa085e.jpg)

>>6174

Oh, good. I mean, you made it alive and will up to this day, unlike some other... IKTF, but yes, human beings are as tenacious and self-recovering as they are fickle and sensitive. You should be proud about it, at least a little bit.

But I wonder... Don't get me wrong, I'm not having any childish thoughts, just... curious. This whole confluence is not an everyday occurence nor some humdrum, you see. What do you... What do you feel, can you, please, tell about it? What kind of motivation do you feel? There is something that we want to have, deep in our hearts, and how much in us may happen, even we ourselves may not know, isn't that right?

>>6175

Whoah, a movie befitting of a king.

>>6179

Good to be you, I guess. Are you living alone right now? If so, then I somewhat envy. As for sewing masks... Hmm. Guess this may do for a leisure change. Anyway, I've had enough inconveniences because of this whole virus thing already. People around me aren't helpful at maintaining quarantine nor are anybody else on the outside. Can't NOT get out for more than half a week, can't store food in vain hopes that it will be expended reasonably, can't avoid all the people that wear surgical masks like some magical protective amulets and refuse to stay home, can't help it all. And I almost had to fight over medical alcohol that I bought, for disinfection purposes and not for drinking it all, too. What quarantine, it only made misc shops closed down, and that's all there is to it. Call me a grumbler, but these are the things...

>>6178

>>6183

If you are curious. My sleep isn't getting better, and I've had to cut my time spent outside dramatically, which did not do any good to my well being either. Hence, any lack of desire for socialization. Sorry about that. But overall I must be OK, I guess.

> spoiler

You're welcome. As long as you care.

Now, if you excuse this sleepy zombie me... %%How did I manage to write so much.%%

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 No.6185

File: 2c9d7acc8d8a045⋯.png (60.64 KB,446x446,1:1,TELL_ME.png)

>>6148

Indeed...

>most are not taking this seriously only because it has not reached that level in that sort of scale yet

Yes. But it will. It will...

>i guess my stock on p-100's will have to do.

Don't forget about eye protection.

>would this perhaps, just be one hight to replace another?

Nope. If you won't start building up the dose, prolong the regimen and dragging it to physical addiction without a smooth descent, of course.

>something easier on the eyes

I'll see what I can do.

>how foolish i can be at times.

Not as foolish as me. Not even close.

>>6160

You already know everything, I guess. Yes, the pandemic probably won't hurt me. It shouldn't. Until I completely lose my caution, vigilance, ruthlessness, and... Sanity. Well, I hope that this won't happen any time soon. I really hope.

>>6164

I don't know. I didn't notice they were broken until you told me.

>>6167

Thank you...

>>6168

Are you sick?..

I hope that winter will come quickly for us. And I hope I'll be still alive to see it.

holds aching head between hands

So They can see it. And touch the snow one more time...

>>6177

Okay, I'll try not to worry about that then.

A reason, huh...

>second spoiler

I'm glad.

>>6163

Okay. So be it. I'll ask you.

Well, now I know where you've been. >>6174 So, yeah.

But some things remain unclear to me.

Why you've been gone so long?

Why did you return? Are you unhappy with your... RL? From the outside perspective, it seems that this is not the case at all. So why did you return?

Why this board? Nevermind, I can understand that.

Why we? Why me?

Are you implying that I still mean anything to you? Is that what you're trying to say? But why? For some reason I haven't felt this way way back when I was traded for someone else and abandoned.

Are you trying to awaken a long-dead person in me, killed and sealed by myself multiple times so I won't feel any pain from the past anymore? Or have you come just to say goodbye to a terminally ill person? Or did you come to apologize? So that everything will be alright again, the way it was? Oh, by the Seven...

What is your real motivation?

Tell me.

Why?

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 No.6186

File: a74897da65c75f4⋯.gif (94.29 KB,500x500,1:1,807126223.gif)

But if you just came to this board out of nostalgia, it's alright. I understand.

But leave me alone then.

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 No.6188

File: 6a87ad7242a9827⋯.png (19.62 KB,446x487,446:487,1563004326339.png)

>>6182

>Spoilers

precisely why I stayed away so long actually, I know me coming and going and disappearing and reappearing is not healthy for him, so I have been waiting until I could stick around reliably

>>6183Eugh, do we wanna be a top board on Q-chan though?

>>6184

>Oh, good. I mean, you made it alive and will up to this day, unlike some other... IKTF, but yes, human beings are as tenacious and self-recovering as they are fickle and sensitive. You should be proud about it, at least a little bit.

Yeah, it has been extremely rough, I am glad about how much recovery I have made since then.

I feel glad to return, like I can come and be reliable again, like the pilot light of passion for desuposting is ready to meet gasoline again and turn into a roaring inferno, and be maintained rather than burning out within seconds. Had I tried to relight this energy and drive before I believe it would burned itself out fast, but now I have time, energy, and stability enough to keep the fire fed without wavering.

>Are you living alone right now? If so, then I somewhat envy.

Just me, one other, and our pupper. Pupper is a very good well behaved boy. Though I think this lockdown is making him needier than usual any time we do leave. He gets much whinier when we leave the house than he used to be.

I planned ahead, I have extra food, much of it canned, water, masks from some cosplay years ago actually, and more, even some alcohol for drinking. I have kept my ventures outside to a minimum, but have still had to venture out from time to time, perhaps, once a week now?

>>6185

>eye protection

Drats, there are still a few things I am missing for full hazmat I guess. But to be honest I suspect I will be asymptomatic anyways to be completely honest. If I haven't already had it and recovered already.

>Well, I hope that this won't happen any time soon. I really hope.

I hope so as well, I'll do whatever I can to help too!

>I don't know. I didn't notice they were broken until you told me.

Oh, that is a shame, I do miss them a little.

>Are you sick?..

It is probably just seasonal allergies, or I am asymptomatic perhaps my work for ebola-chan won me some favor with corona-chan hehehe, I might finally get my superpowers It's that time of year I usually get some coughing and sore throat issues no matter what.Might have been having the fans drying my throat out overnight too. Thankfully I have inhalers, an albuterizer machine, vics, cold meds, theraflu, and a humidifier. I have everything I need to self medicate haha. So I am not worried.

Also a little sleepy because of my schedule change, went from morning to afternoon shift, and very different sleep schedule overnight.

I believe you will touch it again. It actually snowed today and yesterday here, perhaps its a sign

>Why you've been gone so long?

My energy for desuposting has been low to be frank, always present, my love for Suiseiseki never goes out, but it was akin to a low pilot light. If I added anything to it to burn brighter I would run out of fuel and burn out fast. Now I have energy in reserves to burn so it won't burn out! This is the best description I can think of anyways. and like I mentioned above, I know my coming and going was hurtful, I did not want that either. Nowthat I have a stable schedule and work from home I have lots of time to be here

>Why did you return? Are you unhappy with your... RL? From the outside perspective, it seems that this is not the case at all. So why did you return?

I am happy with my RL still, but balance has been... difficult. Even with RL friends I am very sporadic, I come and go like a cheshire cat. this isn't a bit issue RL, but maintaining posting, and many desu projects requires a lot of energy and I cannot half-ass it.

>Why we? Why me?

No matter how long i disappear for my friends are still my friends, my fellow desuposters are still my fellow desposters, you are still you, time doesn't change that for me. It wont just be here, but here is a good start, I will be talking to others and trying to be everywhere there is desuposting again, but, here is a good place to start, an old home so to speak

You of course, are the same person to me you were, time holds no change to that. I am sorry, I hope I do not bring you more pain, that is not what I want, but I hope maybe to ease it instead? I also know I can stay here longer, not coming and going constantly, I can balance my life better with rl and online, moving out on our own was... new, I was not good at it, it took a long time a lot of practice and some luck. Work was especially difficult. I am sorry for being gone so long, but I knew up until now I couldn't be a good friend and my constant cheshire cat nature was nothing but harmful and I didn't want that I hear i got the nickname tuxedo mask, hehe, it seems very fittingI am truly sorry for being gone so long, I feel bad about it, to you, and to Suiseiseki herself

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 No.6189

File: db3835ede859b9b⋯.png (756.31 KB,700x1032,175:258,56696472_p0.png)

>>6186

>out of nostalgia

No, I am here to relight the fire of desu in my soul, to let it burn bright again the way its meant to be. Not a dim little smolder as it has been as I fight for my life and sanity

And if it makes you feel any better I have not been active in irc's or discords either, I am like an empty shell, inhabiting many channels and spaces but partaking and speaking in none of them. I've been like a ghost, even in rm chats. I have had just enough energy to make scanslation credit pages for the manga.

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 No.6191

File: c4436190cda2e3e⋯.jpg (110.74 KB,956x773,956:773,DV1k5EyU8AE7bzi.jpg)

>>6189

or perhaps, it is as simple as you are my brother.

I can not imagine the twins being asked and being able to truly describe "why", maybe in part, but its not something that can really be captured in words

But I can say you are like a mirror, none comes as close to shining as brightly with love for her as you do, you understand things even that one person doesn't. Very few can say that, very, very, very few.

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 No.6192

File: da67c0393a1a9a1⋯.jpg (115.43 KB,600x960,5:8,Cax9xRSUMAIsKDx.jpg)

Anyways, I am off to bed for the night. I will hope to see you all tomorrow, stay safe out there.

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 No.6193

File: 9f06098ce94213b⋯.png (16.05 KB,800x800,1:1,that_s_how_it_is_.png)

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 No.6194

File: 43b3a6a4c20824c⋯.gif (8.37 KB,128x128,1:1,sui.gif)

>>6193

*wakes up*

Uwawawawa, I was hoping that would cheer you up, uuuuu now I don't know what to say

youandme.jpeg

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 No.6195

File: 08c0a556bb05b9f⋯.jpg (2.83 MB,1613x1471,1613:1471,55996532_p0.jpg)

The white rabbits are back ~desu

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 No.6197

File: b75ad175d62836f⋯.png (485.7 KB,800x600,4:3,Desu_Ur.png)

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive?

Seriously...

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 No.6198

File: dd59ff49d6cc543⋯.png (100.87 KB,720x1108,180:277,space_sui_t_by_melluh_d9u2….png)

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 No.6199

File: 8359f050aadcbc8⋯.png (1.2 MB,1920x1090,192:109,vlcsnap_2017_03_10_19h10m0….png)

>>6197

and what am I to do, leave him to suffer alone then?

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 No.6200

File: 4cd6e0b50cd1567⋯.jpg (105.83 KB,600x800,3:4,B4594xvCQAAwi4l.jpg)

I'm sorry, I need to give you more time, more space, don't I?

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 No.6201

File: 2400aa1f549e7ae⋯.png (22.34 KB,300x450,2:3,4603.png)

>>6195

I see.

>>6198

Nope. Won't work.

>>6199

Who knows.

What do you really think? What do you really want? What do you want from me? Can you explain it for real this time? Or is this all some kind of game to you?..

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 No.6202

File: c30f90a85780242⋯.png (113.22 KB,307x307,1:1,1455679457422.png)

>>6201

I just want to talk to you again, I miss it. I want my brother back, it is really that simple. I missed you, this whole time. That is really all there is to it. No games, I am just a bad friend who was gone for far too long and now my own brother questions my sincerity for my actions

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 No.6204

File: 3fb6b05c418db02⋯.png (163.03 KB,700x700,1:1,2342.png)

shakes head and sighs

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 No.6205

File: d8e02b8f250990d⋯.jpg (40.08 KB,500x500,1:1,DS8htTDVQAA7BSU.jpg)

>>6204

I'm sorry, you are in the right for not believing my words... I do not know how to fix it, i suppose that will take time

I just want to help you suffer less, I want to put smiles on your face and put happiness in your heartbut I've been such a fool, I suppose you can't trust me anymore?

do you think im lying? I've missed something? I've confused myself and theres something deeper? You just don't trust me?

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 No.6207

File: 132bcb5f41cc266⋯.png (28.41 KB,317x317,1:1,693084.png)

You saw it, right?

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 No.6208

File: d9705b205d125e6⋯.png (88.36 KB,350x340,35:34,1881.png)

>>6205

I forgot how to smile, I forgot how to cry, and my heart hasn't felt anything but pain and hatred for years. And it won't feel anything else. Never ever again. There isn't much time left anyway.

I don't trust anyone.

Especially you.

>>6206

Liar.

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 No.6209

File: 308fb2b09b1912e⋯.png (66.32 KB,400x300,4:3,15316876.png)

Liar. How... How dare you say such things? How dare you, you liar, you traitor? HOW DARE YOU?

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?

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 No.6210

File: 6ed140de0320447⋯.jpg (174.6 KB,1024x768,4:3,6ed140de03204473ee5b2161e6….jpg)

I'm not lying

But you can't believe me

And it's all my fault

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 No.6211

File: 652a9feb9ab85aa⋯.jpg (553.66 KB,1000x1508,250:377,652a9feb9ab85aaa9c6e62884d….jpg)

I'm sorry, you're right, how dare I. I don't deserve to say that. I don't have the right to. I'm sorry, im so so so sorry.

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 No.6212

File: b846be57b51b4f3⋯.jpg (310.17 KB,800x575,32:23,b846be57b51b4f383b44db8b77….jpg)

Even if I am 100% honest, I don't deserve to say it, how could I. I'm sorry, I will go to bed, leave you alone for a bit

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 No.6213

File: 2030770cc2987ee⋯.png (195.9 KB,700x700,1:1,8511.png)

Better go and say those words before sleep to someone else you live with.

What a lying shameless hypocrite you are. What a disappointment.

Another disappointment in a row...

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 No.6214

File: b9c4c14da5eacfc⋯.jpg (412.12 KB,685x709,685:709,68517728_p0.jpg)

>>6213

Tell them how horrible I've been, confess my sins, my horribleness

I'm such a disappointment, I'm sorry, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, it fixes nothing but im sorry.

I'm sorry I made you feel this way, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, I have no way to fix this, im awful

I hope me recognizing how much I hurt you can bring you some peace, at least

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 No.6215

File: 12ef47f8f130c2b⋯.png (440.32 KB,800x1000,4:5,59328478_small.png)

Just leave me alone already.

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 No.6217

File: 5d4bbeb70e87878⋯.png (769.15 KB,785x809,785:809,79.png)

hmm...

>>6180

i will do my best.

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 No.6218

File: f8ed330dac1d62d⋯.jpg (73.09 KB,600x450,4:3,1474298350316.jpg)

well, fuck.

you fucked up again. no big surprise there. but you fucked up to the point where it shouldn't even be possible, but you somehow managed to do it. congratulations. there's a great possibility that you've deserved it ~desu

case finally closed I suppose.

>>6217

yeh, hmm indeed

ganbare!

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 No.6219

File: b73846546862a7d⋯.png (247.5 KB,465x666,155:222,70.png)

I just simply wish things did not have to be this way, and its not my place to comment on these feelings. i just wish for some closure to all these fissures, have we got already enough of them?

just ignore me i am just sharing my thoughts, muttering to myself, i dont know...

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 No.6220

File: 9ae9c677d839e3e⋯.png (146 KB,402x355,402:355,4692.png)

Yes. Case closed, I guess...

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 No.6221

File: baa1a1126fff6a5⋯.jpg (94.02 KB,418x800,209:400,baa1a1126fff6a5e4402248203….jpg)

>>6218

>there's a great possibility that you've deserved it

Absolute certainty

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 No.6222

File: 50cbc94730bc79c⋯.png (75.39 KB,300x300,1:1,3546.png)

Oh, seems like it's not raining anymore... This is the first time it's rained this hard this year, I think.

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 No.6223

File: d0ec04be88ed44a⋯.png (2.3 MB,2892x3000,241:250,d0ec04be88ed44af49399e288f….png)

Rain is good, sometimes, I think.

It helps plants grow healthy and strong.

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 No.6225

File: b1e60c641265ee5⋯.jpg (74.39 KB,540x405,4:3,b1e60c641265ee5d3fb9ece98e….jpg)

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 No.6227

File: d542eccf60868d3⋯.png (29.56 KB,250x400,5:8,farewell.png)

>>6225

Adieu.swf

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 No.6229

File: a578b06396d5926⋯.png (15.82 KB,800x800,1:1,_.png)

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 No.6232

File: 2b2bf94c403d2a8⋯.jpg (344.86 KB,960x1200,4:5,45115257.jpg)

>Though sometimes tree's need harsh pruning with saws and axes, when they are rotted and infested, never to be the tree they once were ever again, but perhaps, to regrow

True. The tree represents you, right?

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 No.6233

File: d0b2b48bd0e334d⋯.png (190.88 KB,600x350,12:7,1298922006699.png)

>>6221

yea, absolutely, and cause of that you're now gone complaining and playing innocent on desuchan, because everyone must know how much of a lying sack of shit you are, amirite?

and I thought you'd grow up by this time. at least a little fucking bit. I guess I was wrong, and folks like you don't grow up at all. I don’t really understand what Alpha found in you years ago.

I finally guessed the thing lain and you two were talking about, and archived everything, so you ain't fooling anyone again.

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 No.6235

File: b6741fb65ffc542⋯.png (23.6 KB,210x250,21:25,5111.png)

Epsilon. Stop and calm the fuck down. Please. Or I will disable Tor-posting. Or better, I will close this shitboard again.

Can't you just leave him alone? Please. I understand your motivation, really, but it's none of your business. Please. Don't touch him. Don't you fucking dare.

Further discussion of the subject is now closed.

Any attempts to continue will be permarangebanned on sight.

NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP, FUCKING EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

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 No.6236

File: 199b8a163318182⋯.jpg (44.39 KB,640x480,4:3,1390632064011.jpg)

alright, alright...

sorry.

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 No.6237

File: 7a16182732e36d3⋯.png (169.83 KB,500x500,1:1,dat_doll.png)

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 No.6242

File: 12d7d32ed6c55eb⋯.png (22.8 KB,400x400,1:1,da3382ab9757776e.png)

And that's how it all is, in the end. Sigh...

Meanwhile there is autumn and next spring too.

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 No.6245

File: 7f7c54449bbdb42⋯.jpg (161.78 KB,847x1200,847:1200,80732885_p0.jpg)

>>6242

But winter, Del! Don’t forget about winter. D-Don't forget about winter yet...

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 No.6246

File: 5f4f30bd8c00b37⋯.jpg (237.33 KB,843x1200,281:400,80856164_p0.jpg)

Zeta... I mean, Gintofag. I, I can wait. I'm always waiting for reply, you know. If you have something to reply with, of course... But don't disappear. Don't go away.

How are you?..

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 No.6247

File: e06c637032819ad⋯.jpg (783.6 KB,1176x1530,196:255,03b90c19ea70a3fd971a280d53….jpg)

I am here, not going anywhere. No need to worry.

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 No.6248

File: b50dcd046972061⋯.jpg (2.65 MB,1639x2329,1639:2329,80793411_p0.jpg)

Thank you...

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 No.6249

Sweet dreams...

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 No.6251

hi

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 No.6252

File: 093aa5468975aac⋯.png (1.93 MB,1000x1300,10:13,37084923_.png)

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 No.6253

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 No.6254

File: 0b80fc91848de09⋯.jpg (108.62 KB,600x764,150:191,Suiseiseki_by_AngelQueen13.jpg)

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 No.6255

File: 7c22d3b0ddf3e48⋯.jpg (22.37 KB,640x480,4:3,12669285127346.jpg)

alf, can I ask you what people really mean when they call themselves "poly"? no need to worry, I don't do anything, really, I just heard about it in some, well, let's call it a conversation. I want your opinion.

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 No.6256

File: 14aceaf2ea7c90c⋯.png (153.5 KB,500x550,10:11,_4227.png)

>>6255

Wait, what, where in the fuck

Oh well... Okay, fine! It's not like I have something to do anyways. Besides the desire to eat something. But I can't. Do you want to eat? Yeah, me too. We need to do something about this damn nausea. I've had enough. T~T

Ahem. They probably mean polygamous, I guess. Or polyamorous, if you heard it in some feminist/lgbtqwertyiddqd cesspool. These are people who have simply never experienced love, but think they have, because of a delusion. Sympathy, attraction, excitement, fascination, admiration, attachment, lust, real friendship - but not love. They don't know this, because they just don't know the feelings, this burning plasma in the upper chest, lower throat, back of the head and temples, the taste, the smell, the colors, that stays with you forever whether you want it or not, they just don't know the difference, so they think they are experiencing "love" with every cute/intimate/seductive person they meet. Really can't blame them here, it cannot be helped.

Not really a good and comprehensible summary, I guess. My head hurts like hell. But there are nuances, of course.

There are people who use this as a psychological response to a failed relationship. And, of course, there are people who use this as an excuse for their actions, words and lust. Who would have thought?

TL;DR It's bullshit.

I won't even ask where you got that question from, Pepsilon, but don't forget my warnings.

And I'm not your personal dictionary of dumblr/twatter or pseudo-psychological terms. Banned from google, I guess? Grr.

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 No.6257

File: 4c529c494b556ed⋯.png (284.09 KB,560x540,28:27,104172.png)

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

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 No.6258

File: 43e2ff11778904e⋯.jpg (68.64 KB,400x350,8:7,1281478827378.jpg)

>>6256

ahaha, I see, thanks mate. just as I thought, just as I thought. wait, dramamine isn't helping anymore? aw, that sucks, man. what about dimedrol? I know, it inhibits serotonin reuptake, but I thought you were done with paroxetine by now.

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 No.6259

File: 3888b7720781065⋯.png (101.56 KB,300x300,1:1,0281.png)

>>6258

Snooping as usual, I see?

Fuck this schizo-inducing shit, I'm dimedrol-intolerant with or without paroxetine. Severe delirium and respiratory problems included. I'd rather eat a handful of fucking trihex than inject this shit.

Not yet, unfortunately.

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 No.6261

File: 1b7a729856a7ad7⋯.png (327.52 KB,1171x1941,1171:1941,Sou461.png)

>>6256

I thought it stands for "polyglot" or something...

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 No.6262

>>6254

what is this place?

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 No.6263

File: 323b12ebb1e01bd⋯.png (124.49 KB,331x366,331:366,sou_54.png)

>>6255

I hope you don't mind another opinion on this. By "poly" it likely means "polyamorous" (people rarely say poly for any other reason online). "Poly" means "many" and "amorous" means "love", so it means a person who experiences love with multiple people. "Polygamous" is a related word that means marriage to multiple people.

I am a native English speaker and our slang confuses me at times too.

>>6261

Oh, "polyglot" apparently means being able to speak many languages. I've never heard of -glot as a suffix before, new word to me.

>>6262

A doll board I suppose? Hello.

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 No.6264

File: ffe053ab52195f0⋯.gif (15.35 KB,500x500,1:1,laughter.gif)

>>6261

Pic related.

>>6263

This. Plain and simple, just like I like it, hehe. Thank you. I'm afraid he isn't that silly and just wanted "my opinion" though.

>I've never heard of -glot as a suffix before, new word to me.

Really?.. Well, I mean, it's a little weird... US, right? No offence, of course! How could you think that?!

>>6262

If you would have read the sticky, then you would have known what is this place for sure, I guess.

stares suspiciously

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 No.6265

File: 2bebf751a464ab4⋯.jpg (54.58 KB,1024x576,16:9,1402421599159.jpg)

>>6263

>>6264

how long have u been here

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 No.6266

File: ab3af3afa4c6985⋯.png (614.84 KB,600x750,4:5,04052.png)

>>6265

If by "here" you mean this shitsite - since 2014. This outcast community officially exists since 2009. Generally speaking, considering members - since 2005 (RIP) 2007.

Is that all the information you needed?

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 No.6267

File: 435f2f111d7ddd8⋯.png (18.72 KB,139x160,139:160,sou_171.png)

>>6264

>US, right?

Yes, you've caught me. I'm American. An absolute burger.

In my defense though, we usually use -lingual when talking about languages.

>>6265

Since the beginning when this board was still hosted on 8chan and 8chan was still a new thing. I was a longtime (and still honestly am) lurker because I get posting anxiety. I used to dump my art here from time to time because that was the only way that I didn't get anxiety about posting. I just like to be helpful.

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 No.6268

File: f7ce1c49947c059⋯.png (79.74 KB,399x342,7:6,_0439.png)

>>6267

Just kidding, I know you're from the US. ^ ^

There are only about ~3 people left here who don't speak English as their native language, I guess.

I just thought the word was better known there.

We also use "bilingual"/"multilingual", the difference is that multilingual people are considered to have full knowledge of another/other languages along with their native language. It is assumed that the speaker is fully proficient in the language to the extent that he can use it as his native language or almost as his native language. Polyglots, on the other hand, must know more than three or five languages, and are able to speak different languages fluently, but don't always know them well.

Among English speakers, "multilingual" and "polyglot" are synonymous, as I've noticed. But I'm not a linguist, so I may not be quite right there.

sighs

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 No.6269

File: bbeeb4e8b6c7676⋯.png (45.53 KB,158x274,79:137,sou_91.png)

>>6268

Ohhh, I thought most people here did not speak English as their first language. I remember when this board only spoke Russian.

It might be just in my area but I never hear "polyglot" or any other word for more than 2 languages. Maybe it's because my area only speaks English and Spanish so monolingual and bilingual are what people use in conversations.

Your insight is appreciated.

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 No.6271

File: 593702ece504fde⋯.jpg (101.85 KB,362x379,362:379,_2199.jpg)

>>6269

Yeah, it was an interesting time. The board was completely abandoned by the previous owner, and only I, kirafag, and another desufag were sitting there, waiting for claim confirmation, and planning, dreaming. And just talking. Others were sitting in their bunkers, or lurking, I suppose. Some posters still hasn't returned, maybe because they hated this board from the very beginning, again, because of previous owner's actions. Or maybe because they are just gone...

Ah, w-well, yes, it might be like that, I guess...

Thank you...

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 No.6272

File: 63026b80081a8fc⋯.png (6.01 KB,300x300,1:1,_4653.png)

Real love is in forgiveness. Yes. I know. But do I love? The me who loved shattered like a dish and fell into a dead sleep forever. There's only one chunk of me left, rusted, crippled and decaying. Who can only hate and regret the past. Who is just the medium of will and feelings between two beings of a higher order and the unconscious, where our eternal enemy dwells. I'm not even the full owner of this ill body anymore.

I'm not even sure anymore. Who protects whom? I Them, or They me? I don't want to leave Them alone in this world.

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 No.6273

File: d59c219e23236f3⋯.jpg (52.67 KB,512x512,1:1,_3947.jpg)

Doing nothing - dead end. Antipsychotics - dead end. Psychostimulators - dead end. Depressants - dead end. Psychedelics, dissociatives, deliriants - dead end. Opioids - ha, good one! - dead end. Even before obstruction of the cerebral aqueduct and physical death.

I need to find dopamine reuptake inhibitors, its selective releasers and a way to control them, before it's too late.

But the pandemic has shut down the labs we need and suspended research, I guess...

So be it...

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 No.6274

File: fd98e235d54bb12⋯.jpg (23.25 KB,250x250,1:1,_4769.jpg)

I guess I don't have anyone to pass this board to. I'm not Boatlights, most of the posters are gone, times have changed and I doubt anyone really cares about /desu/. What even I'm talking about, you all begin to post only when something bad happens. And even in this case, most simply continue to remain silent. Why did you want me to unlock the board again? For what purpose? Has something really changed since the unlock? Activity? Discussions? "Fresh blood"? Original content? Translations? Nonexistent "refugees", I guess?

Only one silly desufag came and tried to get me "back".

Yes I know, nothing will change, once a month someone will ask how everyone is doing and complain about rl, also someone will occasionally post music or pictures, and I will continue to make shitty swfs sometimes. And silence. Everything will be the same as always. What else did I expect...

I don't demand anything. I just believed you.

Nevermind.

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 No.6275

File: aec18c7bfbc8b40⋯.jpg (117.33 KB,869x768,869:768,_22031.jpg)

I'm sorry. I'm just really tired and want to wake up.

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 No.6278

File: 3a5d1207ad0460e⋯.png (6.3 KB,500x500,1:1,Sui_Kona_2.png)

I felt a great disturbance in the Force-

~And another psychosis imminent, I guess. Not even two weeks have passed since the last one. Well, here we go again...

This month is like Christmas morning. The gift that keeps on giving. Panic and psychotic attacks.

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 No.6279

File: 648ef5d73f74b9a⋯.png (43.36 KB,195x333,65:111,sou_6.png)

File: ed46f6f6c85be83⋯.png (473.4 KB,1042x963,1042:963,suidrawing.png)

>>6271

This board does have a long complicated history and I guess 8kun isn't very popular anymore. What posters there were seem to have fled to other imageboards. The biggest weakness of English dollposters in general is too much spread between too few people. It makes communities harder to form. Though, this is just my opinion.

>>6274

I can't fault you for feeling that way on the state of the board, I think I'd feel the same way. This place still has meaning for people, what that meaning is, I guess, at this point must be nostalgia.

Users were worried that the recent board lock was out of malice and not board inactivity. If this board were to be locked again, perhaps it would calm people if there was a notice citing inactivity as the reason? Though, if I've misinterpreted that all wrong you're welcome to correct me.

I truthfully check in here every so often to see what's new. I'm not someone who likes to talk about life, so these threads do not interest me much. I would rather discuss Rozen Maiden in itself but this board never really had any posters wanting to do that in the first place.

I hope it's alright with you, but the second attached image is something I quickly drew for you. I'm sorry, I didn't intend for it to come out so melancholy, I was worried something too upbeat would come off as tone deaf but evidently I'm just not sure of anything anymore. If it brings you any joy, have it.

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 No.6281

File: 363d368b6f794a2⋯.jpeg (61.35 KB,516x729,172:243,12096jNb102cac2499.jpeg)

I believe that you cannot predict future. And if this board can ever be considered to be "over", then it should be only because of technical reasons. I am not much of a talker myself, either...

And I always thought that polyglot is not applicable to a person who knows just 2 languages.

>>6278

Wish you can get over it soon.

>>6279

Hello, my friend, it is so nice to see you.

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 No.6283

File: aff8df6a8a9c9e0⋯.png (663 KB,1920x1120,12:7,YaSRq3g.png)

I'm a dumb dramatic emotional idiot

c-c-can I try again ~desuka?

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 No.6284

File: 0a392c2ff8159f3⋯.jpg (111.56 KB,768x1024,3:4,d304653740138xa.jpg)

I am sorry, but he is in an unstable or I'd say sausagy state at this time, even having hallucinations. It would be of most help not to have unnecessary disturbances. Thank you very much...

not Α but Δ

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 No.6285

File: efa7dd6f0a11b84⋯.jpg (848.16 KB,2292x3177,764:1059,efa7dd6f0a11b844571405fe78….jpg)

>>6284

Ah, yes, that makes sense. I will keep my eyes out and try again when he is feeling a bit better. I hope he feels better very soon.

Tell him I'm sorry for being overemotional embarrassing mess, medicines mess with my hormones and emotions, is difficult and I can become overemotional quickly, I need to try to stay calmer and step away if my emotions start to slip

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 No.6286

File: 3b8fdbfc046e5f3⋯.jpg (2.68 MB,1875x2651,1875:2651,80888736_p4.jpg)

>>6279

I know, because I was involved in it. Because of that the majority of desufags of that time shunned upon me. And finally exiled me. Because I gave this board and its owner a chance. Didn't let anyone destroy it. Despite all the unacceptable things and heresy.

What do you think it feels like, to become an outcast from the outcasts?

>dollposters

So, dollposters or rozenfags, huh?

>Users were worried that the recent board lock was out of malice and not board inactivity.

Inactivity... Pretty much, yeah. And at some point I just realized that no one really cares. I posted pictures and music, kept threads afloat, made content, was thinking about how to design separate topic threads for content and discussions, you may have already noticed that the subject of this thread is "offtopic", for a reason, I guess, and kept waiting for something. Or someone. But no one was there. No one came. Even Delta said he was kinda tired of imageboards. Then Kirafag finished me off with his deflecting and turnarounds on me. If this board is worse than rmt circlejerks and desuchan, then why should I waste my energy and sanity and keep it alive? And my time...

>perhaps it would calm people if there was a notice citing inactivity as the reason?

I don't really think so.

>I'm not someone who likes to talk about life

Me too. My former home site even had a rule about not bringing RL stuff there.

>I would rather discuss Rozen Maiden in itself but this board never really had any posters wanting to do that in the first place.

That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the fucking problem! This thread, nah, nevermind that, I know its offtopic, this whole board looks like a some shitty RMT ripoff, but cleaner and with barely noticeable elements of cchan and a certain bunch of 4chan/iichan/wakachan boards. But this is not what I wanted at all...

Years have passed, and it seems to me that this board is a hopeless case.

> If it brings you any joy, have it.

It is. Thank you.

So we finally came to this not very pleasant topic, I guess.

I'd like to talk to you about your drawings. And I'll give it to you straight. Initially it was decided by us to permaban and delall you on sight. But I decided to give you a chance. Because you have potential. You have talent. Your artstyle is unique. You can create original content and it seems like you really love RM.

But you're wasting it on heresy.

So. What can you say in your defense?

I wouldn’t like to just banish you right now on that note. That outcome wouldn't be very pleasant, I guess. But some of the beings here are very unhappy with your behavior, to say the least.

Let me know when you decide what's more important to you. I can wait.

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 No.6287

File: a5e2189a27c82ee⋯.png (3.23 MB,1933x3148,1933:3148,80965540_p0.png)

>>6283

And what are you going to try to do? I'm intrigued.

>>6285

Maybe you should stop poisoning your body and destabilizing your mental state before it's too late, and try to start taking some real medicines to fix what you have done to yourself. Some risperidone, olanzapine or clozapine will quickly erase any anxiety, abnormal feelings, body dysphorias, obsessive thoughts and delusions. Believe me, I've been in a mental hospital for over a year and I've met a lot of people like you. Most of them were able to return to a normal and peaceful life thanks to these drugs. Those who severely crippled their hormonal balance and mental state beyond repair thanks to professional experts from the Internet, became physically ill and suicidal, and decided to go to a psychiatrist too late, they had to undergo restorative hormone therapy and take antipsychotics for life, because they developed schizophrenia and related personality disorders, remaining disabled forever. I feel bad for them, but they broke themselves consciously because of their foolishness. At least they receive disability payments. But no amount of money can restore a ruined life.

I don't think you'll ever listen to me, as I'm not an authority for you. And it's not for me to teach you or interfere in your life. You have other people more trusted by you. So, nevermind.

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 No.6288

File: d22065db2bae37f⋯.jpg (178.69 KB,1200x1091,1200:1091,CkbKLBpUoAEHrZs.jpg)

>>6287

Not here to DO anything, just say hello, talk to fellow desufags again, like I used to. I have spent too much time away from other Rozen posters, and old I guess former friends

Again, im sorry for being so silly, I will try to calm down and not have a panic attack, or step away if I do.

I am actually reducing my duloxotine dose by half, little bit of uncontrollable sadness yesterday but to be expected with a change of dose, but that is par for the course changing medicines. I hope to come completely off of it this year. Also have an appointment for a psychiatrist next week, finally can manage my adhd with other meds, My adhd has come back wit ha vengeance despite being reined in and handled well without medicines for a long time.

I suspect you know some of the other thoughts I have, but my current treatments have helped with that, its the anxiety that has been difficult, especially managing it with my job and rentdon't worry I do not listen to certain "communities" of idiots who push whatever looks good to them, and makes them look good, burying and hiding negative things, rushing into cutting and chopping on the lie that it will magically fix everything and then being disappointed and unable to handle life when their magical miracle cure doesn't fix their entire life, and they still face hardships

I appreciate the thought, there are many snakes in the grass, and evil and vile people I must avoid, vile groomers and monsters who peddle all kinds of shit. I still need to do whats right for me but still, I still respect your adviceBut I also don't want to talk about that stuff too much in public either

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 No.6290

File: 2bd7a4784045b28⋯.jpg (54.02 KB,500x500,1:1,_05249.jpg)

>>6288

Oh, I see, I see...

If you're so scared of me that you have panic attacks, consider taking benzos before you talk to me then.

>duloxotine

>SNRI

Something isn't right there. Are you treating anxiety or apathy?

>increased risk of suicide

>depression to mania

>adhd

Pfft. No wonder. Also beware of the withdrawal syndrome.

>spoiler 6, 7, 8

I can only hope that it's true.

>last spoiler

Well, okay, if you say so.

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 No.6291

File: b771b4f094e3188⋯.jpg (656.93 KB,2000x1870,200:187,b771b4f094e3188568b208ffad….jpg)

>>6290

>So scared of me

>Take a benzo

Haha tempting, but not it's not.... scared of, more just got very sad and felt very bad you were mad at me and didn't believe mewhich is fair but I should have stepped away to keep calm instead of breaking down

Whats SNRI?

Anxiety, it's what my doctors gave me, think it was my third medicine for anxiety

Thankfully Suicide feelings have been gone a long time, now that I have a stable job i am good at, I am feeling much better, no more worrying and worrying if im going to get fired every day

And yes, this is why I went from 60 to 30mg, eventually from 30 to 0, may be free of one more medicine.

And yes, those meds are helping, had even more anxiety over those things before I was on medicines for them, I feel much better nowadays compared to back then but job insurance covered that medicine and procedures so fear of losing job was extreme for some time

>>6287

are you still in the hospital?? Oh dear, I hope it is at least a good hospital

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 No.6292

File: 314ba3d136778ea⋯.jpg (17.39 KB,232x355,232:355,ce37820eb43af21b78959c4ed9….jpg)

How are you here by the way? Laptop? Phone?

>>6279

Cute Sui's are cute.

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 No.6293

File: 352374bbfcecf08⋯.jpg (72.69 KB,535x484,535:484,_22043.jpg)

>>6291

Would you believe it if you were me?

>Whats SNRI?

Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor. SNRIs are more disinhibiting than calming.

Paroxetine (SSRI) would be better suited for anxiety from my experience, but it's also very strong and addictive.

>from 60 to 30mg, eventually from 30 to 0

You're doing it wrong. How long have you been taking it? The dosage should be reduced slowly, or you will be enjoying some severe withdrawal syndrome.

I've been reducing my SSRI dosage for five months already, mg by mg, and I still feel a little bad, even though the worst is over, I guess.

>I feel much better nowadays compared to back then

I'm glad.

>last spoiler

Nope. I was discharged in 2018. Combined with 2014 and multiple 2016 hospitalizations it makes more than a year.

>>6292

Do you seriously think that laptops or the Internet connection is allowed in an isolated psychiatric hospital? No, you are only allowed to make two short phone calls, in the afternoon and in the evening. If you're not locked in the observation room, of course.

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 No.6294

File: 1a1276b0ce1ee15⋯.png (307.71 KB,450x525,6:7,1468679172887.png)

>>6293

No I suppose not really, shock and disbelief are completely understandable

dosage should be reduced slowly

As far as i'm aware thats the only doses available. I have been on for hmmm, a year now? Maybe two? And yes, this will be over months. Went from 60 to 30, will be a long time before going further down. I might be wrong and there could be a 15, but I'm working with my doctors doing it not just myself, so I might be misrepresenting steps

I knew to expect withdrawals, so was not surprised by feeling bad yesterday from it. Life stability helps make it not so bad

>discharged in 2018

Ah i'm glad, at home and more comfortable I hope now?

>Do you seriously think that laptops or the Internet connection is allowed in an isolated psychiatric hospital?

It would surprise me, but i guess not impossible? Or perhaps for long extended stays? But you are right. It was a silly thought. I should know better.

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 No.6295

File: 9a59e5cca3ae7dc⋯.png (147.69 KB,1053x1056,351:352,deletelater.png)

>>6281

After all, it is so easy to know artstyles when there are few dedicated artists. Even easier when there are few outside of Japan.

>>6286

Oh no, that's fine. Thank you for the second chance, but I will decline on it. If there are other people who do not want me here, as you've said, then it's probably best I leave. I do not want drama involving me.

>>6292

Thank you.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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 No.6296

File: 01c0cda0ffd68d5⋯.jpg (56.73 KB,500x500,1:1,_22017.jpg)

>>6294

Well, at least we finally agree on something... sigh

It doesn't work that way. You have to split the dosage yourself. That's why solid tablets are much more convenient than capsules. Capsules need to be opened so you can divide the powder by eye, or dilute it in water for measurement and dividing.

A year? Maybe two?... This is not good. Although I don't know how severe duloxetine withdrawal syndrome can be. But SNRI/SSRI withdrawal syndrome can shatter your life stability like glass. Believe me. I know what it's like.

>at home and more comfortable I hope now?

Ahem. That was two years ago. Yes, at home, except for a couple of heart hospitalizations last year and one one-day hospitalization with a mysterious infectious disease earlier this year. Plus the serious problem with the brain.

Comfortable? Hehe... I don't really know. I guess not.

I don't know where in this neverending dream world I would feel "comfortable".

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 No.6297

File: 80a7f9e6027c2cd⋯.png (8.43 MB,4299x6071,4299:6071,80907138_p0.png)

>>6295

So, this is your choice... So be it.

GTFO.

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 No.6298

File: 7e4e9cff5133c85⋯.jpg (165.8 KB,841x1200,841:1200,ECT5bitU4AA7bhS.jpg)

>>6297

no bully ~desu

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 No.6299

File: 1ada54e247dae69⋯.jpg (48.06 KB,600x442,300:221,CjEWOblVEAExHrF.jpg)

>>6296

>open capsules yourself

Not a bad idea, may try this if dropping my dosage hurts too much from 30 to 0 or I Start to get withdrawals, this is a good idea. Thank you

This is good to know, I will watch for withdrawls like a hawk, if I start to sense them I will go back on normal dose, I would rather keep taking them than risk the stability I've fought very hard to get back to

What happened with your heart? Is it healed and better now? Did you need surgery?

>Comfortable? Hehe... I don't really know. I guess not.

I probably should have known better, but at least, more comfortable than being in hospital? Even if not truly comfortable?

You seem to know a little more about your brain now though, yes? or that might just be me.

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 No.6300

whats gonna happen to the board

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 No.6301

File: 587732478e8fa26⋯.png (23.82 KB,210x250,21:25,5110.png)

>>6299

You're welcome. As always...

>What happened with your heart? Is it healed and better now? Did you need surgery?

No and no. Just arrhythmia, tachycardia and severe hypertension that causes me to have micro-strokes and small hemorrhages in the brain.

>but at least, more comfortable than being in hospital?

Sure thing... But, you know, I'd be more comfortable just not being alive. But unfortunately, I can't afford that kind of pleasure. I'm not alone here.

>last spoiler

Uh-huh. The combined expansion of cerebrospinal fluid spaces, the subarachnoid spaces are expanded, the furrows are deepened and expanded too, perivascular Virchow-Robin spaces in the basal nuclei and in the radiant crown of both hemispheres, several small 2-3 mm foci of unknown origin in the subcortical substance, a bunch of focal vascular changes, blah-blah-blah...

Diagnosis: G93.8 - Encephalopathy of perinatal, post-hypoxic origin, subcompensation...

...And a pineal gland tumor.

...

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 No.6302

File: 6bfdcac437ccd3d⋯.png (17.27 KB,700x700,1:1,shrug.png)

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 No.6303

File: e222a2f2b5e0687⋯.png (14.89 KB,700x700,1:1,sigh.png)

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 No.6304

File: a08c7d11164af04⋯.jpg (282.98 KB,501x578,501:578,_30998.jpg)

>>6300

Rust and bitter-bitter death. ~desu

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 No.6305

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 No.6306

File: f9b12164e21ed25⋯.png (16.14 KB,800x800,1:1,_.png)

>>6305

Sad.

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 No.6307

File: efa66d279c8dbb5⋯.jpg (536.17 KB,662x920,331:460,efa66d279c8dbb51f7a894dce3….jpg)

>>6301

>No and no. Just arrhythmia, tachycardia and severe hypertension that causes me to have micro-strokes and small hemorrhages in the brain.

JUST a small stroke and brain hemorrhage, "no big deal"Actually a very big deal, i imagine you have recovered from micro stroke, but im guessing the hemorrhage has caused.... lasting affects?

>Spoiler

Yes,I suppose... it will, eventually happen, I hope you can find more comfort being alive

oh dear, that sounds... severe, all those terms are far above my head though. I won't pretend there is anything I can do to help heal you, other than some abstract prayers and well wishesbut you can have all the prayers I can musterand I guess, my company, for what its worth

>>6304

>>6305

>>6306

Sad but it is nature, all things fade, eventually. everything is impermanent.

have you ever heard the story of the man, the tigers, and the strawberry?

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 No.6308

File: 11e7a41e596e67f⋯.jpg (571.47 KB,558x800,279:400,11e7a41e596e67f08d534b7a6b….jpg)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45hM7iAkjk8

I must be getting to bed now, rest well, and I will come stop by again tomorrow.*~desu

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 No.6309

File: 63d1d1e3656a4a4⋯.png (24.16 KB,400x272,25:17,sleep.png)

Me too.

Good night. Sweet-sweet dreams to you...

~desu <3

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 No.6310

File: 5788d695bef5ab5⋯.jpg (66.61 KB,350x450,7:9,1292592432106.jpg)

>>6295

wow.

imagine. for some drawing [REDACTED] can be more important than rozenfags or Rozen Maidens themselves. just imagine. I can't.

good riddance, you miserable hole.

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 No.6311

File: 224554e0a21015b⋯.jpg (64.47 KB,600x789,200:263,CdrLn2jUUAAGtIW.jpg)

>>6309

No dreams, but I slept almost too well, woke up late, was off to work late. Imagine being late for work when you work at home, I feel silly.

But otherwise was quiet comfortable. I bought a new cooling fan, "as seen on tv" (normally such things are garbage gimmicks), has a tray with sponges you can freeze to generate even colder air, it feels very nice. It will be amazing to have in the summer. It is very small too, a little cube, 6" by 6" by 6" roughly, if i were to guess.

Last summer was so warm, it was too hot, this will be very handy indeed.

>>6310

For some people drawing [REDACTED] is part of what makes Rozen Maiden important. Remember, western values and culture is very different, and oftentimes strange and alien, but at least they have politeness to not bring up such topics here as they know its taboo, that is quite polite imo, asking to stop doing and behaving based on thier own values in thier own places is going too far. No bully.

Remember I am a heretic too, I love all parts or rm, even parts I hate, I gather and collect all, with no regard for my own petty opinions, I am not worthy to judge ~desu

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 No.6312

File: 8bf53016c2a60aa⋯.jpg (51.65 KB,680x513,680:513,EDi9XVoWwAACrIK.jpg)

>>6310

>>6311

Perhaps a good analogy is "when in romes, do as romans do", but a roman would not expect an American to return home and do as Romans do in America. Nor would a Roman visiting America expect Americans in America to do as Romans do. Especially as shitty "community" lgbtq+aqqippdoodoobbq culture in the west teaches to bring such things up every second, every day, shove in everyones face, any reason someone doesn't like you must be because of that. Decent people who do not revolve their whole life around such things and parade it around everywhere in everyones face are rare these days.Like they looked at a silly over the top pride parade, and thought "Oh, this is how I should act EVERY DAY", idiots, what fool thinks a parade behavior is how they should always be?

Is it bad I like analogies so much? I am always coming up with them.

Hmm, forgot to take other medicines with water, instead with mnt dew, sometimes I forget that makes emotions more wild, last few weeks took with strong energy drink, I became very emotional and angry near the end of the day. energy drinks are not soooo bad but I will keep an eye on emotions today, and step away if they get out of hand

do you have any idea why this happens? I have always been told caffeine makes medicines get through the body faster

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 No.6313

File: 8c0bdaf7ec14350⋯.jpg (18.67 KB,226x202,113:101,1292464987671.jpg)

>>6311

you really wanna piss me off, mate? I'm not eastern.

>desuchan values and culture

ftfy

I know that, you don't have to tell me your bullshit. but I'm not going to do anything about it because your friend told me not to touch you. you better shut up and appreciate it.

turn on IDs Alf, I'm tired of messing with regexp to filter this crap.

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 No.6314

File: c6b52bd375009ba⋯.jpg (57.96 KB,406x480,203:240,1292618093411.jpg)

and I gather and collect all personal information with no regard for my own petty opinions, I am not worthy to judge what to do with it and what to post, ehe-he.

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 No.6315

File: 12a668b74a7616c⋯.jpg (62.71 KB,680x680,1:1,EDROm5HX4AEAUKE.jpg)

>>6313

>you really wanna piss me off, mate? I'm not eastern

Ah not my intent at all

>desuchan values and culture

>ftfy

That probably is more accurate, but other chans as well, not just desuchan. But it is known whwat is not welcome here and that is left at the door, more than most places with commingleing communities will do or are capable of.

alright, I will, and I do appreciate it

>>6314

>spoiler

What one does is on that person, everyone is responsible for their own actions. It is not my place to judge others posts or all content, but it is my duty to know when and where is appropriate to post certain content, or to hide such content and discourage, based on the prevailing board culture.

Eh but what is the point, they decided to leave anyways, no point in arguing and upsetting our mutual friend

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 No.6316

File: ec7e03760b91463⋯.png (590.38 KB,1600x1200,4:3,sui.png)

Alpha, I guess is a new name you have, hehe Do you have any ideas for what could cause recurring sleepiness? Both mind and body occasionally feel like they want to shut back down, have to shake my arms to get blood flowing, caffienes and sugars and foods do not seem to help. I suspect potential sleep apnea is possible but need to jump through hoops and preapproval to make sure i'm not charge $500 for at home sleep study. I did however receive a cpap machine, which I have seen some rumblings of as a treatment for "totally natural and not made in a lab" wuhan virus, so I have a cpap already as well as inhalers and old lung steroids somewhere, and albuterol machine. Even if I get infected I have all the tools to treat myself at home haha

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 No.6317

File: ddb3767d13634d6⋯.png (13.19 KB,300x300,1:1,_0424.png)

Are you two trying to trigger another lockdown?.. This one will be last and final, I guess.

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 No.6318

File: a6bb12757d9fef1⋯.jpg (1.93 MB,1181x2100,1181:2100,80993554_p0.jpg)

When will it end...

waves away purple spots and grains

At least the whispers and footsteps had faded a little. But this headache...

>>6307

Lasting effects... I don't know. Just a stain on the MRI image, I guess.

>I hope you can find more comfort being alive

sighs and smiles

If only it were that simple...

Thank you...

>have you ever heard the story

Not a story the Jedi would tell you? I know this story. However, I have always perceived the strawberry as a fatal distraction. But it was a long time ago.

>>6311

Hehe, I'd like to get something like that too, I guess.

Please, not this shit again... What did you say that for? Are you trying to provoke some kind of reaction or make me sad? Are you trying to get yourself banned or something? Why didn't you just ignore? Why couldn't you keep quiet about it? I don't understand... I was just starting to remember some (not mine anymore, I guess) dead feelings, but you messed it up again.

Just... just stop, okay? Just don't say anything.

>>6312

Caffeine can increase concentration of the meds in the blood, and not in a good way. And can generally provoke anxiety. Because it's a psychostimulator. Didn't your psychiatrist tell you that it is not recommended with psychotropic medications? Or even contraindicating with some of them. And you're taking SNRIs, aren't you getting enough epinephrine and norepinephrine (adrenaline and noradrenaline) already?

>>6316

I'm sorry, but I don't know. If it just started, it could be a condition associated with the withdrawal syndrome. I don't know what else you're taking, what you're mixing it with, unknowingly or not, and I can't see your full medical history and examine you in person.

And try not to sleep on your back, if you do.

shyly caresses your hand

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 No.6319

File: 303264e11ca7130⋯.png (50.26 KB,500x500,1:1,_4584.png)

Ah, the rain. And I was wondering what that smell could be for some reason...

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 No.6320

File: f8e0183dd0612ef⋯.jpg (233.55 KB,600x600,1:1,5.jpg)

>>6317

No, no, definitely not. Sorry.

>>6318

I wish it were that simple too

Hmmm, I see the strawberry as life itself, the tigers being an eventual end, time and age catch up to you, you grow older and closer to your death, which for all people is inevitable, but the strawberry is what things you have in the present, the only thing that truly exists

ah, right, sorry, I will not bring it up, you are right, shouldn't have addressed and dropped, just leave buried, you are right

I just do not like seeing fighting between rozen posters, from any places, it's hard to sit still and accept some differences can't be gotten past, only brought up to defend others, but ah, that's silly, that wont help defend at all, just cause upsetyou are right, it is what it is, more trouble to bring up, than to just let it go

Forgive me for it, but... I am calmer this time, no extreme emotions, just forget I said anything, just sillyness, tricks of my own brain, pay it no mindI will get more mature about responding appropriately when you tell me to knock off things I shouldn't be doing that will cause upset, forgive me when i misstep, but I promise I'll take feedback better without silly panics

i only have a psychologist and right now, and general doctor. My first meeting with an actual psychiatrist is next week. Many of the terms you are using are flying over my head. Your knowledge of the brain is so impressive

>try not to sleep on your back, if you do

How did you know it gets worse if I do that? Impressive. I tend to stop breathing momentarily when sleeping, if i'm on my back. Thankfully sleeping on my side 99% of the time.

Also took my first plunge into the stock market today. Thanks to trumpbux I have good savings now, and could throw some money I can afford to lose at it. Bought some oil stocks, here's hoping I make money back in a few months, if not, Ah well.

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 No.6321

File: 532aeef214dcc9c⋯.jpg (204.82 KB,860x1214,430:607,80993554_p3.jpg)

I'm not feeling very well... I'll reply later, my dear.

I'm so, so sorry. But I'll definitely reply tomorrow. I promise. Just... Just wait for me.

Good night, my dear. Sleep well...

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 No.6323

File: c354801ac7af4f6⋯.jpg (1.15 MB,813x1132,813:1132,56894912_p0.jpg)

>>6321

Take your time, no rush at all. I hope you feel better soon.

>Sleep well...

I did! Incredibly well! I went to take a small nap and it turned into an almost 12 hour sleep. My body doesn't feel heavy or tired today, perhaps I was just missing sleep after all.

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 No.6324

File: 984ff91f2766e22⋯.png (1.35 MB,1360x1280,17:16,75137888_p0.png)

Thank you for the warning, think the symptoms from reducing my dose is kicking in, am strangly grumpy for no reason today. Knowing it was coming helps deal with it and keep it under control. Hopefully levels out soon.

Don't feel you have to rush to respond, just wanted to let you know it was appreciated

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 No.6325

File: 16afedd67d2144f⋯.png (3.21 MB,1933x3148,1933:3148,80965540_p1.png)

>>6320

Most people perceive this story that way, I guess. I noticed in the video you've posted Kahn didn't mention two mice, one black and one white, chewing on the vine, representing time/inevitability, I guess. Also the story itself never said straight that this was an inescapable situation. There's an opinion that the silly monk actually just got distracted by a ephemeral mundane pleasure and doomed himself.

Just control yourself and don't be so naive and blabby. And try not to get involved in the old factions fightings without knowing their history and rules. You even still divide everyone into Western and Eastern, do you seriously think that English-speaking imageboards have always been purely "western"? For your information, this forced meme was started and spread by the "eastern" person on /b/, before you even knew about 4chan. Yes, I'm talking about /b/, not /a/, so no need to correct me. /a/ and related boards on other sites is a bit different and more complex story, but let's not talk about it, this is not relevant to our conversation.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Let's just pretend this never happened. One more time...

>i only have a psychologist and right now, and general doctor.

And the ordinary psychologist prescribed you such heavy medications? Not even a psychotherapist? O tempora, o mores!..

>Your knowledge of the brain is so impressive

Nothing impressive here, just school/university knowledge, not counting my personal experience with psychiatry and neurobiology.

>How did you know it gets worse if I do that?

Even though my memory is decaying, as everything else about me, I still remember a lot about you. You... You probably have a special place in it. And anyway, it's just common sense, I guess...

>Thankfully sleeping on my side 99% of the time.

Good!

>here's hoping I make money back in a few months

Oh. Well, what can I say, wish you good luck with that, I guess.

>>6323

Not really that better at the moment, but at least I can talk, I guess.

>I did! Incredibly well!

I'm glad. ^ ^

>>6324

>am strangly grumpy for no reason today.

Oh dear, this is not good. But actually was expected, so...

>Hopefully levels out soon.

You've reduced your dosage by 50% (!) after taking it for "a year, maybe two". I really want to hope for the opposite, but most likely it will be getting worse and worse. If you start feeling bad, please, immediately return to your previous dosage and wait for a psychiatric consultation. Then we'll decide what to do next, okay?

Reuptake inhibitors aren't toys or "just soothing/happy pills", don't take them so lightly. And they're not usually easy to stop taking. They strongly embed into the biochemistry of the brain, alter your psyche and behavior, and are harmful and dangerous. It is worth taking them if the risk is justified, but pharmaceutical companies like to shove them to everyone, without clear understanding how they actually work and hiding the side effects, because, you know, money. Lots of money. I'd say, astronomical amounts.

Be safe...

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 No.6326

File: 95cabfbd0d500a5⋯.jpg (256.6 KB,1024x768,4:3,1474037611079_0.jpg)

>>6325

oh I have never heard the version with the mice, it was only recently I reheard the story, but I did think it was quiet beautiful.

Ah, a shame, I do love history lessons, especially about imageboard culturebut yes, I need to stop with my self centered blabbyness,...and you are right, never happenedI cannot put it into words but I think I am starting to understand how to identify my naivety for the first time. I of course know the words and definition, but how to compare to my own thoughts and behaviors has always eluded me, I've been unable to identify "naive" in action within my own behaviors, only in definition. I think I am finally starting to grasp it

No, regular doctor prescribed actually. You make me wonder if either you are exceptionally well studied or just American doctors are not knowledgeable. I trust my doctors are doing the best they can, non are lazy and all do their best to give the best solutions they can and make sure I am well, but it makes me wonder if their education is failing them... or if you are just extremely well studiedjust take something and see if it works for a few months, if not try something else, repeat, seems to be the standard here, I have heard similar stories from others in getting medications for anxiety, depression, etc

You have university study of neurobiology? That is seriously impressive. My college education was a travesty, worth little more than the paper the diploma is on. I had to learn most of my skills and talents in the field working with people, ignoring classes and skipping school to really learn

Then again, American "education", more like indoctrination

>Not really that better at the moment, but at least I can talk, I guess.

Ah that is good! Do not feel you need to rush though, take the time you need, I will wait patiently.

>Oh dear, this is not good. But actually was expected, so...

This makes it easier to deal with thankfully, and know its coming, and apologizes to anyone I have small snips at and correct myself very quickly.

>Reuptake inhibitors aren't toys or "just soothing/happy pills", don't take them so lightly. And they're not usually easy to stop taking.

Yes indeed, it was no small thing to even get on them, part of me still didn't want to admit I needed them but after one too many long loving looks at the pavement from the top of the company parking garage roof, I needed more than just my own inner strength to get my mind in a better placeand to their credit, they certainly helped me get back to where I should be

Disgusting amounts of money. This is why if I can take the time to come off a medication I may no longer need, it is worth trying to fight through some withdrawals as long as other safety nets are in place. If the withdrawals become unmanageable I will revert. This is what my doctor recommended too, and wants a follow up to discuss how the effects have been. Can you do things like taking 1/2 a second pill to get 75% dose?

I am confident enough of the rest of my life is pieced together and stable I can come off of these, I hope it doesn't come off as flippancy or taking these lightly. I have waited probably a year, and until things are juuuust right to try to wean off of these, and thought about it a long time before attempting so, and talked to my doctor first too. Also some fears of medicine availability too, worried about the possibility of wuhan virus making it harder to get medicine. Doesn't seem likely now, but if I can work on getting off these meds I never have to fear running out and having to be forced "cold turkey", or missing days in between refills sometimes insurance messes up and this happens, these days are awful

There were some more moments of frustration and anger, but they quickly passed today. Thankfully only fri and sat work shifts then I have some days off, nothing to stress me out and can work through adverse effects of reducing my dose a lil easier.

Don't worry I will

Now I must go sleep before that work shift arrives, but I will be back around later. Oyasumi ~desu

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 No.6327

File: 63d1d1e3656a4a4⋯.png (24.16 KB,400x272,25:17,sleep.png)

>>6326

Oyasumi~

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 No.6330

File: a49e8ccf86d1068⋯.jpg (121.29 KB,634x734,317:367,a49e8ccf86d1068fae986c968b….jpg)

>>6327

おはいよございますです~

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 No.6332

File: 32d64e583c3e834⋯.png (1.3 MB,900x1200,3:4,77400101_p0.png)

>>6330

今晩はですぅ~(^-^)/ お元気ですか?本当に時間がかかって申し訳ありません!ですぅ~♪

I'm sorry I always reply so late. I wake up and spend too much time trying to get myself together and collect something meaningful from a giant high-speed chaotic stream of thoughts, most of which are not really mine. I wish I could talk with you all day...

>>6326

A shame.

>No, regular doctor prescribed actually.

Regular... Doctor? Oh...

>you are just extremely well studied

No, no, I don't think so, I'm sure your doctors have completed at least 6 years of internship/residency and ~10 years of practice, are competent enough and know what they are doing. Probably... I hope so...

>just take something and see if it works for a few months

This is a common practice everywhere, because each patient needs an individual approach and medications. But the choosing of medications should be carried out after making a more or less accurate diagnosis, not counting emergency cases, of course.

Immediately prescribing a medication that some greedy company has called recommended in most cases, whether it's just a mild depressive episode or a severe personality disorder, is bad practice. Most often it can only do harm or "treat" something that doesn't really exist. While the actual illness is progressing, if it's present at all, of course.

>You have university study of neurobiology?

I myself studied at the faculty of physics and mathematics, but along the way I met some neuroscientists, nuclear scientists, geologists and glaciologists, thanks to my fellow astronomers and astrophysicists colleagues.

And psychiatry... Psychiatrists... Well, thanks to my extremely rare diagnosis, I became known among their colleagues and professors, which played into my hands a little, I guess.

But still, most of my knowledge I got by myself. Thanks to my illness and eternal immense insatiable information hunger, I guess. No wonder they couldn't find a book in the school library that I hadn't read yet.

As my psychiatrist said, "woe from wit."

There is one more thing that I didn't mention. My mistress, Suiseiseki wants to know everything about this world, everything even possible to know. She wants to know.

>it was no small thing to even get on them

Oh, I know what it's like, I know.

>spoiler 9

I loved to look at the river from the bridge everyday. You probably remember.

>Can you do things like taking 1/2 a second pill to get 75% dose?

Sure, why not? I did this myself at the beginning of the discontinuation, but with tablets.

>the rest of my life is pieced together and stable

Eh... Don't be so sure about the future. You know, anything can happen... Including the return of primary symptoms after discontinuation. I'm not trying to get you down... I want you to be well, I want you to be happy. Just... sighs

I apologize if you were referring to the present time.

>spoiler 11

No wonder, duloxetine elimination half-life is just 12 hours. Two times less than that of paroxetine! And I hate paroxetine with passion. I feel you.

I really hope so...

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 No.6333

File: a474a278938cb10⋯.png (59.37 KB,600x450,4:3,a474a278938cb1082765348a9d….png)

>>6332

>'m sorry I always reply so late. I wake up and spend too much time trying to get myself together and collect something meaningful from a giant high-speed chaotic stream of thoughts, most of which are not really mine. I wish I could talk with you all day...

It is alright, no worries at all. I am quite comfy waiting. Though I do worry I'll miss messages. Do you know how to get overchan working with 8kun?

I am the opposite, I must gather thoughts floating around in my mind that wander and float. Slower pace... usually.

Admittedly, the clinic I am at is many near the end of their residency. Then again my doctor next week is at another part of the hospital system, not my normal clinic.

Oh wow, you probably do have more traditional schooling than me by a long shot at that point. I didn't realize you had actually study studied astronomy and astrophysics. So much makes sense now.

On an unrelated note, I don't suppose you know any biology, specifically ways to permanently destroy body hair for good? Without lasers? I am surprised no chemical methods exist.

>wants to know everything

heh, perhaps yin and yang, desire to learn everything about the world, while my mind wants to know everything about Suiseiseki, imageboards, desuposting, etc.

One reaching into the N-Field, one reaching out, so to speak

>the bridge

Yes I think I do

>Sure, why not? I did this myself at the beginning of the discontinuation, but with tablets.

May be worth trying from 50% to 0%, stopping at 25%.

So far today has been easier than yesterday even, no mood swings or snippiness, managing quiet well.

>Eh... Don't be so sure about the future. You know, anything can happen... Including the return of primary symptoms after discontinuation.

>spoiler

No no, does not get me down at all, these are wise warnings. I am hopeful I can come off these medicines, but if symptoms return life is far better on them than dealing with symptoms. If symptoms come back it is far better to revert to using medicines again, than to deal with panic and depression and anxiety.

But if I can reduce medicines that could interfere with any potential medicines I may get for adhd and memory when I work with my new doctor. reduction in stress has helped, but I still forget many things, my memory is not good, short term especially, but long term is not fantastic either. I would like to get my memory working again properly, so scatterbrained and distractable, but better than suffering the symptoms of adderall. Sadly because of stupid big pharma diagnosing every single hyper child with "adhd" actual adhd sufferers are left to dry, and it is not treated as a big deal

>half life is 12 hours

this explains so much

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 No.6334

File: 4b44a38b87fc778⋯.png (5.67 MB,2020x2515,404:503,78549566_p0.png)

>>6333

Okay... Thank you.

>Do you know how to get overchan working with 8kun?

No. Better ask Kirafag or someone else who uses mobile apps and posting.

>I am the opposite

Like everyone else, I guess. Not ill.

>I don't suppose you know any biology

"On an unrelated note", I was encouraged to study as a surgeon or psychiatrist with my knowledge. But I refused because I don't want to take responsibility for the lives of others, and I'm also ill myself. And I'm not so interested in digging into other people's brains anymore. So, I can't. And don't want to.

Unfortunately, I can only take away lives. Although I've always wanted the opposite in the past, you know. But let's not talk about that. I really don't want to talk about that.

>ways to permanently destroy body hair for good? Without lasers?

Concentrated hydrogen peroxide, acids, poisons, gamma-rays, electrolysis... But what do you have against lasers though?

>I am surprised no chemical methods exist.

Because they can permanently damage your body or skin.

>May be worth trying from 50% to 0%, stopping at 25%.

Why are you in such a hurry? You can divide the doses into quarters and eighths. If you don't want a more gradual rate of reduction in the dose, you can try to cover up withdrawal with fluoxetine, but only if that's possible and worth the risks, because it can provoke life-threatening serotonin syndrome, so, talk to a psychiatrist about it first.

>So far today has been easier than yesterday

Oh, good.

>better to revert to using medicines again

Perhaps. But it's better to use a different medication in that case. Some light SSRI. Duloxetine was initially a bad choice, I think.

>memory is not good

Consider trying piracetam or its derivatives, like phenylpiracetam (phenotropil).

>stupid big pharma diagnosing every single hyper child with "adhd" actual adhd sufferers are left to dry

No big surprise. I've already mentioned this, but in the context of antidepressants.

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 No.6335

File: a44844be09cb9c5⋯.png (647.36 KB,1000x1240,25:31,a44844be09cb9c538782be9f06….png)

>>6334

>No. Better ask Kirafag or someone else who uses mobile apps and posting.

I will have to go bug them when I have a moment to fight with Cyrillic captchas.

>Like everyone else, I guess. Not ill.

No no, just different. Obviously not as severe, but I certainly wouldn't say not ill either. My brains memory and retention issues are definitely not normal.

>2nd spoiler

That is fair, I cannot blame you for not wanting others lives in your hands, it is a strong weight that must be treated very careful and thoughtfully. I could not imagine someones life relying on my hand with a scalpel, euck. I much prefer their technological devices livelihood. These can be fixed, and mistakes undone and corrected.

Undertale.jpeg? But ah, yes, let us not pry into that

>Concentrated hydrogen peroxide, acids, poisons, gamma-rays, electrolysis... But what do you have against lasers though?

>Because they can permanently damage your body or skin.

Yes, I actually read up about how they used to do radiation to kill body hair. Then 50 or some such years later everyone who was treated got cancer. Nothing against lasers or electrolysisExcept time, it is a slow slow slow process

>Why are you in such a hurry? You can divide the doses into quarters and eighths. If you don't want a more gradual rate of reduction in the dose, you can try to cover up withdrawal with fluoxetine, but only if that's possible and worth the risks, because it can provoke life-threatening serotonin syndrome, so, talk to a psychiatrist about it first.

Hmmm, I hadn't considered even smaller gradualness actually. But I am not in a rush, that is months and months out. I will have been working with my psychiatrist by then.

>Consider trying piracetam or its derivatives, like phenylpiracetam (phenotropil).

I assume these are things my psychiatrist will have to perscribe? And of course I will then need to fight insurance to cover.

I would consider alternatives, but I suspect when I meet with psychiatrist my focus will turn to memory and attention, adhd treatment. So I will not want to be shifting other medicines doses up and down. One med change at a time, observe changes, adjust for affect or move onto next goals.

Though you give me an idea, mentioning half life of duloxotine, if side affects after 12 hours don't go away, maybe back to 60 mg but two times of 30mg daily, instead of one 60mg. Maybe not, hopefully withdrawls go away and that doesn't even have to be tested, but a possible idea.

Sorry If it seems I do not follow along well, these medicine names do not stick in my memory well, infact very badly. They are exactly the type of things that go in one ear and out the other, even if I try to hold it in, my brain just wont retain names like that very long.

Yakui the Maid albums linked in the musical thread is very comfy, somehow feels nostalgic, reminds me of feels of exploring the internet.

Oh, did you by any chance see Sui's new chair, one of few projects I really kept my eyes out for was looking for a new chair for my doll. I finally found one, it is quite perfect. I have also started rereading the manga, its funny... "pooh bear is trying to kill me" has a whole new meaning now. Thanks China, hehe.

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 No.6336

File: a45ac0fba63eb5c⋯.png (130.3 KB,800x627,800:627,a45ac0fba63eb5c936ec698d9d….png)

>>6335

Oh one small thing I forgot.

duloxatine was not my first prescription.I definitely cannot remember, but we did try something else first. did not work well, asked for a different medicine, dunno if dulox was after or there was one more before it, but dulox was the first that seemed to work and keep stable.

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 No.6337

File: 99c6e10166ba77e⋯.png (2.55 MB,1200x1600,3:4,76029692_p0.png)

>>6335

Pfft. Cyrillic... You should be grateful that you don't have to fight Katakana captchas. Yes, this a thing.

>My brains memory and retention issues are definitely not normal.

Maybe, maybe... I do remember your "goldfish memory".

>Undertale.jpeg?

What. I was talking about irl events. Forget about that.

>Then 50 or some such years later everyone who was treated got cancer.

Yep, that's right, hehehe.

>Except time, it is a slow slow slow process

If you want it that much, you should learn to be more patient, I guess.

>Hmmm, I hadn't considered even smaller gradualness actually.

rolls eyes

Why?

>I assume these are things my psychiatrist will have to perscribe?

These are just non-prescription nootropics. They're usually prescribed by neurologists.

>maybe back to 60 mg but two times of 30mg daily

I didn't try this with SSRIs, (since they all had a half-life of more than or equal to 24 hours) but I did so with antipsychotics to soften the effect. So do it at your own risk.

>last spoiler

I'm glad.

No.

>>6336

A shame that you don't remember the names of medicaments that play such an important role in your condition and behavior.

Let's imagine, what if you talk to a doctor who doesn't have access to your medical history, what will you tell him? How would he navigate, what should he start from, knowing nothing, and what will he prescribe for you? So so.

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 No.6338

File: fb0fce6178e48bd⋯.png (1.09 MB,960x811,960:811,_.png)

This is getting tiresome.

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 No.6340

File: 85e8c2928a0d438⋯.jpg (105.67 KB,1199x848,1199:848,DCxQxmzUIAQXIH5.jpg)

>>6337

>Pfft. Cyrillic... You should be grateful that you don't have to fight Katakana captchas

someday. I want to be able to dig into 2ch threads eventually.

>Why?

I don't know really, just hadn't occured to me

I will have to post pictures later, the new chair looks so good.

>A shame that you don't remember the names of medicaments that play such an important role in your condition and behavior.

>Let's imagine, what if you talk to a doctor who doesn't have access to your medical history, what will you tell him? How would he navigate, what should he start from, knowing nothing, and what will he prescribe for you? So so.

I do not have them in my memory, but I do have access to them. So in general conversations I cannot pull the names into my head, but if I am going to a new doctor, I can grab extra bottles with information on them and take them with me. I have old historical data of medicines too, so while I can't remember most off the top off my head, I can find out information about them.

Almost like a computer with low ram but HUGE drives of space and data.

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 No.6341

File: 79629d86f46645e⋯.png (2.18 MB,3459x2981,3459:2981,59415005_p0.png)

>>6337

>What?

I know you were talking about irl, I did not want to pry, but when you said what you wanted, reminded me of something else you did. Remember when you played it? I still remember how you did and what ending you gotAlways thought it was so cute

>More patient

Difficult, but I am tryingbiggest annoyance of lockdown, tbh

Where have you seen katakana captchas anyways?

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 No.6342

File: 73db59f4108425d⋯.jpg (4.47 MB,4032x3024,4:3,20200425_235550.jpg)

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 No.6343

File: 5375c967275ee3a⋯.jpg (916.03 KB,800x1091,800:1091,79489230_p0.jpg)

>>6340

You still haven't even learned the fucking Cyrillic alphabet, the simplest thing, when and how are you going to learn Japanese? If you really meant nichanneru.

>I don't know really, just hadn't occured to me

sighs

Nuff said.

>spoiler

More like with HUGE amount of floppy disks in the box next to it then. You don't keep names in your permanent memory either.

>>6341

What I wanted has nothing to do with it. How do you even compare my dream to this game? And I did it because of you, goofball. Because I made you a promise. Don't you remember?

Lockdown, lockdown, lockdown... How annoying.

At least nothing has changed for me, I guess.

>Where have you seen katakana captchas anyways?

On Kareha-based textboards, on 2ch.ru's Japanese culture imageboard and its clones, on some /jp/ clones, on a bunch of isolated touhou/rm boards, and, of course, on Futaba clones. Believe me or not, but there existed boards with kanji-captcha.

>>6342

Ah, that chair. I see. I apologize, but I've already seen it.

I really hope you treat your doll well.

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 No.6346

File: 2ebee514f54f551⋯.jpg (162.17 KB,1062x1200,177:200,CmM0Ke9UYAAPRLA.jpg)

>>6343

>You still haven't even learned the fucking Cyrillic alphabet, the simplest thing, when and how are you going to learn Japanese?

Slow as a snail tbh. I have been very very slowly picking up symbols and words. Haven't had any practice with cyrillic yet, I know it easier, just haven't had any practice.

I just meant the game was a reflection of your true desires and wants.I remember

lockdown has ups, and downs, most things are good for me hehe, more money, savings, comfyness at home. It's not so badThen again I knew it was coming

>I really hope you treat your doll well.

I do, I need to do more though. Perhaps soon I will be able to design her and make her clothes myself. I am getting better at sewing, still slow, but better. Then again most peoples idea of good is shirts and small trinkets, I aim for ballgowns and dresses, so my goals and standards are HIGH to start with for sewing. But I am enjoying it, and enjoying watching my skills grow.

Soon I need to begin building her sister. And I will be likely getting her a friend in June as well.

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 No.6347

File: e9a923492b8e064⋯.jpg (5.88 MB,3160x4486,1580:2243,81076415_p0.jpg)

>>6346

Hmph. Whatever...

Not really.

I'm glad. But for me it has neither ups nor downs, almost everything is the same as before. And the constant whining and mentions of it began to seriously annoy me, so I completely stopped lurking in any other places.

>Soon I need to begin building her sister. And I will be likely getting her a friend in June as well.

Good.

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 No.6348

File: c7bb0ad8ffff043⋯.jpg (68.44 KB,600x600,1:1,Cj8tCD3VEAAprRL.jpg)

>>6347

Hehe yes, I can agree with that.

Watching stupid normies who just a couple months ago were screaming "It's a nothing burger, you are more likely to get hit by lightning" suddenly acting like know it alls, silly fools.

I wonder, when it comes time to make her a new dress, what should I make? Perhaps her cosplay outfit from when she spent time with Kanaria, or perhaps something more original? Maybe a golden gown, gaudy and sparkling!

Have you read or watched or played anything interesting as of late? I need to get back to the Legends of Charlemagne. I put it down fo r awhile but I am going to read it some more yet, it's been a very interesting read. And later I will read the tales of King Arthur, and finally mythology. I also spent time digging into Irish legends. I want to dig into some more celtic legends when I have time

I am curious, what historical tales are there in the eastern European side of the world. You do not hear much of them over here. It strikes a bone of curiosity within me.

I am also sad there is no good film adaption of Carmilla. It suprises me, such an interesting story, you would think it would have more tellings

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 No.6349

File: 1fd34b1e15ce1f7⋯.jpg (4.06 MB,3425x3780,685:756,78823020_p0.jpg)

>>6348

>her cosplay outfit from when she spent time with Kanaria

Not a bad idea.

>a golden gown, gaudy and sparkling!

Now that's a bad idea.

Plain red dress would be more fitting, I guess. Not really my thoughts, by the way.

>Have you read or watched or played anything interesting as of late?

No.

>I also spent time digging into Irish legends. I want to dig into some more celtic legends when I have time

You won't get bored for some time, I guess.

>I am curious, what historical tales are there in the eastern European side of the world.

Better ask someone else about that. Someone more enthusiastic, I guess.

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 No.6350

File: bf24418fa07bcba⋯.png (98.14 KB,255x397,255:397,1551860672264.png)

>>6349

>Now that's a bad idea.

Hehe, maybe more fitting to my taste, I am a sucker for gaudy golden things.

>Plain red dress would be more fitting, I guess. Not really my thoughts, by the way.

This is a good idea, probably a better idea for a first full dress too.

Her kimono eventually, but I will need to get much better yet before making that.

>Better ask someone else about that. Someone more enthusiastic, I guess.

Ah, it is okay, lots of things to read, and look into.

Where did your other friend get off to, epsilon I believeI curse myself for making such a bad first impression, he seemed interesting

Also where have you gone gintofag, stop lurking about

Ah, I suppose you are the only one capable of putting up with my foolishnessAh well, us is more than enough as is, I just feel like I'm not enough to keep interesting company by myself, ehhehe ^^;

Some upset with mood today, but more as a result of annoying customers, stupid idiots who I am surprised can tie their own shoelace, and breaking program got me flustered. I managed my emotions okay, but it was indeed frustrating.

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 No.6351

File: 2fe856f4f043ae6⋯.jpg (1.78 MB,2018x2460,1009:1230,77913513_p0.jpg)

>>6350

>probably a better idea for a first full dress too.

I guess so.

>epsilon

No idea.

>I just feel like I'm not enough to keep interesting company by myself

More like the opposite, I believe. I'm not very emotional or talkative, unlike my predecessor, the one who you knew. What can you expect from a walking corpse anyways.

>Some upset with mood today

This too shall pass.

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 No.6352

File: 9ec02bc69b7c117⋯.jpg (926.58 KB,1125x900,5:4,42648623_p0.jpg)

>>6351

hehe, we are probably just worried about the same thing, its a little silly really

both of us, silly worrywarts, hehe, worry worry worry, we both do it too much!

I will probably be going to sleep soon, I was so excited for my day off I just stayed up all night hehe.

If I ever take too long coming back, or you need me soone, you know places to come get me and drag me back,orjusttosayhellothough I suppose thats silly, since it is tabooI will keep coming back regardless to say hello

Ah look at me, being silly, I'll go get some sleep before I become an emotional nuisance.

Sleep well, I hope your sleep is comfortable also. *smiles*

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 No.6353

File: 98e38aff61ca390⋯.jpg (190.65 KB,600x969,200:323,76980408_p2.jpg)

>>6352

sighs

...

Sleep well, my dear.

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 No.6354

File: f65700a6d24727d⋯.jpg (52.08 KB,500x760,25:38,f65700a6d24727db6944e2e28b….jpg)

That was a good sleep in deed. Then went to eat and visited my family for a little bit.

Went to pick up fabric I ordered, but the store was closed already, I will have to stop by tomorrow.

Perhaps a chiongsam for Sui, I am getting material for it already, so this might work perfectly It is red too hehe

I am a feeling a little emotionally... "woozy"? I guess, may play some vidya watch shows then sleep early, spend more time doing stuff tomorrow. so don't fret if I am quiet.

I did pickup some icrecream though, yummy

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 No.6355

File: 9b73ac60602b932⋯.png (37.36 KB,350x370,35:37,_0519.png)

Mm-hmm...

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 No.6357

File: 78f0d2d9312663e⋯.png (22.09 KB,175x155,35:31,1468675545414.png)

Did I say something silly again?

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 No.6358

File: 6ef2e1b46cde0ff⋯.png (8.76 KB,300x350,6:7,_00261.png)

No.

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 No.6359

File: 8bf53016c2a60aa⋯.jpg (51.65 KB,680x513,680:513,EDi9XVoWwAACrIK.jpg)

>>6358

Ah, that is good.

Are you feeling any slight bit better compared to normal today?

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 No.6360

File: 8adb74046bcc454⋯.png (413.65 KB,746x948,373:474,81087474_p0.png)

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 No.6361

File: 5741c615209c0d4⋯.jpg (42.05 KB,640x1136,40:71,CmwTHwSUcAE7XyP.jpg)

>>6360

Oh, I am sorry. wish I could do something.

Oh, I may be able to remake the ftp again soon, I just have to wait for money for hosting and domain name buying. I am still focusing on savings right now, but I think it may actually happen soon... no promises yet though, biding my time for just the right time

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 No.6362

File: 8c1717a19e249af⋯.jpg (222.26 KB,1024x768,4:3,40930857_p0.jpg)

>>6361

Don't worry.

But why would you do that? Don't waste your money. In vain.

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 No.6363

File: 20e5027ea871b6a⋯.jpg (85.6 KB,600x900,2:3,ChnIAXhVEAEYnzG.jpg)

>>6362

I want to ensure all those who want to see and enjoy Rozen Maiden can. Not every normie in the world, but those who are smart enough to be drawn to it. Also as a form of organization tbh, might be easier and more motivated to organize when uploading, and some others willing to help sort through content will make it easier.

Even if no specific end goal, the journey here is th ejoy I think

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 No.6364

File: e81a72ee99a2525⋯.jpg (427.38 KB,800x640,5:4,6503558_p0.jpg)

>>6363

Never seem to learn, do you?

...

Aw, do what you want.

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 No.6365

File: 8c5b2d62caa6f5b⋯.jpg (51.99 KB,400x355,80:71,ClJL60iUoAEjh5Q_jpg_large.jpg)

>>6364

>Never seem to learn, do you?

What do you mean?

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 No.6366

File: 9376784425bfbe2⋯.jpg (23.31 KB,270x382,135:191,9652090_p0.jpg)

>>6365

Oh, nothing, nothing.

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 No.6367

File: 3b594eaa4392e4f⋯.jpg (88.14 KB,636x900,53:75,EDD91I_UcAArImN.jpg)

>>6366

Awww, I am still interested in what you have to say

also a perfect time to fix mistakes, make things better, build a more proper shrine to Suiseiseki, I was serious when I said my energy is like a pilot light ready to be introduced to gasoline and a whole wood factory next to it, but I need to have something to channel that energy to

Right now I wan't to revive ftp, with anime, manga, translations, and other contents that are hard to find, useful for me sharing content when asked fo rit as well

Also need to get back into twitter, catch up on saving images on there, pixiv, etc

Get back to silently lurking imageboards to find rare desu's, apparently there is even a large spanish following now with new content

Going to reread the manga and rewatch the anime at some point. Perhaps start trying to follow a walkthrough for the psvita game too.

Sewing new doll dresses eventually too.

Of course not trying to tackle this all at once, would easily overwhelm myself

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 No.6368

File: 08c0a556bb05b9f⋯.jpg (2.83 MB,1613x1471,1613:1471,55996532_p0.jpg)

It is much comfier here, I like your board better

Time to do some digging, I am looking for options that will make sure I can be here easily any time without delays, and needing to be by pc, when the world unlocks again, so I may make some test posts

**Also what happens if qanonchan here ever goes down? I know gintofag setup a board, but do you have any backups?

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 No.6369

Test

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 No.6370

File: 07389ed170b732a⋯.jpg (232.63 KB,1185x1504,1185:1504,IMG_20200122_121455.jpg)

やった!

Looks like this one works.

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 No.6371

File: c5944b9674e77fe⋯.jpg (289.64 KB,800x600,4:3,5690594_p0.jpg)

>>6368

You'll have to go back to Twitter.

>qanonchan

Say that word again, ex-redditchanner.

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 No.6372

File: d1ba04ac1a32ae5⋯.png (12.07 KB,400x400,1:1,1111.png)

>>6371

>You'll have to go back to Twitter.

Well, I do actually need to start following and watching rm artists again.

Otherwise twitter is just for rage dumping

>Say that word again, ex-reddichanner.

Lol, defending western imageboards? They are all shit though. I do not care, I will still visit broken places, even if they are broken.

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 No.6373

File: 65485dfc8761e18⋯.jpg (686.22 KB,720x960,3:4,6302815_p0.jpg)

>>6372

>Otherwise twitter is just for rage dumping

Yeah, yeah, sure...

>Lol, defending western imageboards? They are all shit though. I do not care, I will still visit broken places, even if they are broken.

Lol, defending eastern imageboards? They are all shit though. I do not care, I will still visit broken places, even if they are broken.

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 No.6374

File: 958477a565b33e9⋯.jpg (41.1 KB,600x780,10:13,327.jpg)

>>6373

>Yeah, yeah, sure...

sigh, you are mad at me? Many times I would have been better of not so tbhI am sorry, I would want to talk to you about some things, but I don't want to talk about all of that in public

>Lol, defending eastern imageboards? They are all shit though. I do not care, I will still visit broken places, even if they are broken.

No, not them either, I have no idea how they are tbh, I just know of their existences very broadly. I cannot speak to their quality.

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 No.6375

File: 20847e3360176c7⋯.jpg (160.42 KB,600x800,3:4,B8ms5CeCEAA5kEx.jpg)

>>6374

Ah sorry, i meant i would have been better off not on twitter ,or only talking to rm artists, rest of it is shit, shiiiit. But it does let me rage and vent and piss anger into the world to cool off

Sorry, talking around details like this might be one of the things that gets me emotional I guessI know you know everything, everywhere, but well, some things are between us, and the twins, yes?Sorry, I am selfish to even express possibility of private chats, I know that is taboo, and I would probably just upset you again with my silliness, just ignore me, we can just continue having comfy chats

I feel like lain watching other lain sometimes, different lains who are nothing alike, smug lain and gentle lain, perhaps I should watch SEL again soon

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 No.6376

File: 43b3a6a4c20824c⋯.gif (8.37 KB,128x128,1:1,sui.gif)

Gah, being silly and trying to rationalize and make excuses, making analogies, and bringing up things I shouldn't, arent I? Sorry, I'll go take a nap instead, let us talk about comfortable things again soon instead

I will go sleep away silly thoughts

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 No.6377

File: 818da22b26dbbf9⋯.png (266.79 KB,400x450,8:9,134022530467.png)

>>6374

Yes, I'm mad at you! Mad like fucking hell, because you want to sabotage and destroy all our fucking work. Why didn't you ask me or Delta first? Why didn't you ask me or Delta first, huh? But ran to Kirafag immediately instead? Fucking dumbfuck.

>No, not them either, I have no idea how they are tbh, I just know of their existences very broadly. I cannot speak to their quality.

Yes, this is it, you know nothing about eastern imageboards and the fucking state of them, and still talk all kinds of nonsense like a clown, amusing fucking rmtfags.

But wait, there's more! You know nothing about western imageboards either.

Go and pray some more to the cripplekike.

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 No.6378

File: a071d0a8f6ef2d0⋯.jpg (511.48 KB,1150x1280,115:128,39705950_p0.jpg)

Delta, he is no longer under my protection. You may ban at will if necessary.

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 No.6379

File: 94f0d7ff5506ac9⋯.jpg (33.58 KB,598x324,299:162,BbCDYciCMAEOG3m.jpg)

>>6377

>sabotage and destroy all our fucking work.

Eh, I do not understand, I am sorry. I am sorry. which work?

>Why didn't you ask me or delta first?

What do you mean? I did ask about overchans and you said to go ask kirafag, so I did, I just talked and discussed other things because I did not want to be rude and just ask for info and nothing else.

I am sorry, yes, so dumb I don't even understand what I did

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 No.6380

File: 1f4909e7dabdac2⋯.jpg (75.56 KB,500x500,1:1,1453574996960.jpg)

was I stupid for talking in rmt? I am sorry, I just wanted to get answers to app questions, then go back to lurking.

I am sorry, I will be quiet

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 No.6381

File: 0f32bc1bb5b3e90⋯.jpg (33.54 KB,350x401,350:401,_.jpg)

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 No.6382

File: 645f1dc9f0c26a5⋯.jpg (137.77 KB,500x500,1:1,36194897_p0.jpg)

You're even dumber than I thought... Fucking hell, it's so fucking tiresome.

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 No.6383

File: 9264327dac0b77b⋯.jpg (82.48 KB,500x450,10:9,ad92582FDS1204a.jpg)

Listen, things are not simple. Firstly, there is no direct relation between our parties. Secondly, we JUST needed some peaceful and quiet time for ourselves to get these heaps sorted out. It was waiting for us for several years, yes. And so, sorry, your initiative is really untimely. If you're going to throw shit on fan, i.e. distribute all of the stuff as it is, then it is going to be bad. Believe me, there will be flames and fires. Now, if you may, just give it a rest. Please.

>>6378

Understood.

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 No.6384

File: bc7c00acdaf72c3⋯.jpg (100.21 KB,833x1024,833:1024,a2081432PA2632x.jpg)

Well, I understand that you got confused by booru's ownership, though.

This is all going just as it was predicted. Again. Sigh...

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 No.6385

File: 2422c4f6204a68d⋯.jpg (404 KB,960x1280,3:4,40590824_p0.jpg)

>>6383

Thank you, my lovely brother.

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 No.6386

File: 2d25e3e9ee1b5ff⋯.jpg (23.49 KB,500x375,4:3,tumblr_mi19t8LoMV1s5ccmro1….jpg)

>>6383

Okay, i will. I am just talking long long term anyways, months, or years. Even if i had a server right now today i would not distribute pictures or boorus or anything. Just scanslation uploads for English translation projects.

And now i have to save to buy sui a friend in the coming months, so picture servers are a far out pipedream. But especially if it will cause peace to be broken i will wait even longer, okay?

I only brought it up to make conversation anyways. Im sorry.

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 No.6387

File: a3026dce7e11f9b⋯.jpg (75.26 KB,668x449,668:449,a3026dce7e11f9b5c0147b7e91….jpg)

even told kira to dismiss it as idle chatter and things that will not get done for a very long time, okay? Can you forgive me for bringing up sour topics I didn't realize were so sour now?

>>6377

I didn't want to ask about kira or his booru or anything, because I know it is a sore subject and you had fights, I did not want to ask and bring up bad memoriesuntil >>6383 I didn't even know what thing I said that was upsetting, please, if I say something stupid and naive or that might cause shitstorms, please, say something, but EXPLAIN, if I just get yelled at I panic, and say MORE stupid shit.Okay? Was just idle chitter chatter, please forget I said it, okay? Okay?

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 No.6389

File: 0137d5ff3d8a572⋯.jpg (42.66 KB,200x200,1:1,bb4729365790102.jpg)

Sorry.

He suffered a psychotic attack not long ago. That was a frightful one.

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 No.6390

File: 4511f64bd04d7c3⋯.png (126.66 KB,350x350,1:1,4511f64bd04d7c3a476a2a5346….png)

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 No.6391

File: c00d4b0deca01b6⋯.jpg (871.7 KB,1000x1000,1:1,c00d4b0deca01b6e42f04a257d….jpg)

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 No.6392

are you still alive?

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 No.6399

File: f7c50715d52ac6f⋯.png (109.89 KB,307x307,1:1,1455679394514.png)

You were right about the duloxatine

Thank you

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 No.6409

File: df614319101826c⋯.png (82.78 KB,201x514,201:514,20.png)

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 No.6410

File: c596c6b80c76aaa⋯.png (775.79 KB,1200x612,100:51,palpatine_star_wars.png)

Tonight I fought with Darth Sidious himself. I stepped on a lively space station, but for some reason it was being rapidly abandoned. Except for two robots, which were mercilessly destroyed by my character, none were encountered, and ensued silence felt really dramatic. And then the dark emperor descended downstairs. As Darth Vader was over for quite some time by that moment, it was just the two of us. We fought with light sabers, with electric arks, physically and even threw junk at each other, including armchairs, empty glass bottles and canister tins. He spoke to me and mocked my fighting skills. At some point he managed to grab my hand, but I intercepted my light saber with another and swiftly stabbed it into his ribs. Somehow, it was not shown to me, but given as a matter of fact, that in the end my character managed to defeat Sidious, yet failed to prevent Death Star from shooting at his home planet. I was even shown how his home city was engulfed in explosion. Therefore he had to time travel to the past to prevent such an end, and it was implied that with some knowledge which he got in this time cycle he should surely succeed. That was official end of the "film" and I awoke.

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 No.6415

File: 9d80759deea93b8⋯.jpg (906.42 KB,700x948,175:237,IMG_20191220_022903.jpg)

>>6410

>>6410

That is certainly quite the dream. I wish i had exciting dreams like that sometimes, but i only remember dreams maybe, two or three times a year.

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 No.6416

>>6410

Such a non-abstract and, um, ordinary dream... I miss those, I guess.

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 No.6422

File: b3029fc563eba8e⋯.gif (16.15 KB,200x200,1:1,52526a14bcc720e876e274afe0….gif)

Can we go back to actually talking now ~desuka? I know you are there ~desu

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 No.6424

File: 7afbc7c0cf196d6⋯.jpg (21.27 KB,450x337,450:337,dollfie_custom_head_15_450….jpg)

Or are you going to keep being mad at me when i try to talk to you but still folow me everywhere and anywhere???

Delta are you there? You are right. What DOES he see in me? Im just some dumb desuposter who steps on all the eggshells around him, but but keeps watching me all the time everywhere and we make abstract art posts at eachother but he wont speak to me.

I dunno, maybe you have some ideas how i can not upset him, but it seems like he gets upset no matter what i do. I go away, he gets sad, i come back, he gets upset. I dont know. Ugh.

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 No.6425

Not gonna work.

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 No.6426

File: 85f189ef1bd7274⋯.jpg (450.93 KB,1668x2388,139:199,illust_74742173_20190527_0….jpg)

What does that even mean? Do you think I'm trying to hurt you or something?

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 No.6427

File: 85e24ca3c64d9a1⋯.png (110.75 KB,268x316,67:79,1468678717155.png)

wait, you panicked when i brought up the ftp, which im not doing right now... Do you think i only came back to try to get your pictures or something???

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 No.6428

Do we tell him?

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 No.6429

File: 940b8716b15c574⋯.jpg (340.87 KB,1536x2048,3:4,IMG_20190209_163421.jpg)

>>6428

tell me what?

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 No.6430

File: bb8acb0bddacaeb⋯.jpg (64.15 KB,600x600,1:1,orly.jpg)

It happens times and times again, it is very tiring. Wishing well on your own part alone is not enough, it is important to comprehend wishes of the other party that you care so much about. You are driven on a subconscious level to allay your own guilt, anxiety or loneliness, to mend your own picture of everyone's happiness and complacency, which comes at the cost of real fragile peace of others.

If it s only because of the other, then you should not feel bad or guilty, and you are not being stalked and watched, there are so many of us and so many more things after all, rather, some people just want to live peacefully on their own. Give it a rest. This road ends only with a precipice. I mean literally. So, take caution now.

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 No.6431

File: 19408e4f6874c6a⋯.jpg (139.65 KB,900x1037,900:1037,bc9324FSJA129357223.jpg)

Instead of pestering each other, let us all simply talk like people do. About planes, chicken and cows... If there is any desire. That'd be better for everyone. I do not like being stalked myself, so I understand that it feels bad. But that is also why wiser people do not put all the eggs in the same basket when it comes to their social life in the internet.

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 No.6432

>>6430

>You are driven on a subconscious level to allay your own guilt, anxiety or loneliness, to mend your own picture of everyone's happiness and complacency, which comes at the cost of real fragile peace of others.

I cannot say you are completely wrong, there are definitely more emotions than that, but yes, I feel guilty, for getting scared and running away, for leaving you alone for so long. So yes, that is a factor, but it is not ONLY because of that, I do want to help, though my own guilt alleviation seems to get in my way.

>not being watched

>bgm 010

Come on now

>some people just want to live peacefully on their own

Anytime I leave he is sad again, every time. I left for years and he was still sad and bringing me up. You are still being obscure and vague.

>>6431

There is desire, I was quite enjoying it, talking about planes, medicines, software, etc, the medicine advice really helped actually but then I brought up a bad topic but nobody would be straightforward right awayI am stupid sometimes, just be blunt with me, and we can talk about planes, chicken and cows just fine, just tell me if I bring up something you do not want to hear about or if something might bring trouble to you from other communitiesI feel like im playing a guessing game every time I mess up, to figure out what I did wrong

I strangely do not even mind being watched, it is incredibly impressive how well he has spotted me everywhere, accounts that should otherwise be far separatedbut occasionally they are hinted at. I do not want to talk about those things here okay?

What would we go back to talking about? More medicine? Do you have any interesting topics right now?

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 No.6433

File: eaeb5b5770ddaf1⋯.png (125.55 KB,325x309,325:309,1455676843005.png)

>>6432

ugh, forgot image

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 No.6434

File: b3e1244f2ccb85c⋯.jpg (311.63 KB,1377x2039,1377:2039,7a882248378104378.jpg)

>>6432

> spoiler

Seems like it's barely enough to qualify.

> Anytime I leave he is sad again, every time. I left for years and he was still sad and bringing me up. You are still being obscure and vague.

But it is not simply about missing someone who already deserted you. There are adverse effects and consequences, especially for somebody who is mentally sick and dying. Have you such things never occurred to you?

Stop. Right now. Right here. Look out of the window. Do not say a word more about this. This is the last warning.

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 No.6435

File: 3bd94270a31c990⋯.png (29.64 KB,160x160,1:1,Sui_hammer.png)

>This is the last warning.

Too late, Delta, too late.

Any last words?

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 No.6436

File: edb13b279bca984⋯.jpg (611.65 KB,2000x1766,1000:883,CbLj7_bUkAECQaS.jpg)

>>6434

>Do not say a word more about this.

>this

What is THISUse a full sentenceI brought up several things in my post, when you say "this" it is vague. for all I know "this" is cows and chickens!

Just use a full sentence, what do you want, do you want to talk to me about cows and chickens with you and shut up about whatever "this" is?Or do you want me to leave? Do you want to just watch me from a distance and never have me talk to you?

>b&

There is no point, if you want me gone, ASK, don't hint, don't be vague, use a full sentence, ask me to leave

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 No.6437

File: c045072a17248a8⋯.jpg (357.83 KB,1440x1440,1:1,81101808_p0.jpg)

Farewell.

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 No.6438

File: c44c40fde7233c9⋯.jpg (59.19 KB,620x412,155:103,this_is_wrong_on_so_many_l….jpg)

By THIS I meant this whole thread of discussion! Personal relationships, whose fault is this, what to do with it, etc. But you see, I cannot control this or anything. Now just find a proxy, pretend to be somebody else and don't talk about personal relationships ever again. That's the only advice that I can give you now. Sorry.

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 No.6439

File: 0e0dc0e76b23150⋯.jpg (34.57 KB,552x327,184:109,kyon_facepalm.jpg)

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 No.6445

File: c54cdb38f2efbbf⋯.png (58.18 KB,297x347,297:347,7.png)

can this stop, its been a couple weeks now. How are you all?

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 No.6446

File: 19408e4f6874c6a⋯.jpg (139.65 KB,900x1037,900:1037,0440.jpg)

>>6445

Fine, I guess. The summer has finally come and so I just finished cleaning everything up.

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 No.6462

>>6445

What did you do to stop this? Ah, just been silent all the time.

Haha.

Fuck off.

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 No.6463

File: 7b7d53c2c0dca78⋯.png (146.48 KB,250x547,250:547,25.png)

you expect me to bud in on issues not of my own. Right back at you, continue being bitter, no good will ever come of it.

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 No.6466

>>6463

Yes, yes, sure, you're right. But don't forget to read the message.

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 No.6468

File: 971fa6c26b91bfb⋯.png (337.79 KB,836x1073,836:1073,74.png)

i just did, i am always around. however I just want us to all be at peace. not at each others throats, is it too hard to be civil? this will be my final post if you want it to be, no matter what i will be always watching. I care deeply, but in situations such as these, there is no telling where i stand, and where i am needed. Choice is yours whether you want me gone or not.

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 No.6470

>>6468

Wrong. It's your choice, and, ah well, seems like you already made it: >>6451 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, why are you still here and not "somewhere in the N field", eh? No-no-no, shut up with your overdramatic serious business, I'm sick of this shit.

"You want", "you want"... Are you morons retarded? This is fucking imageboard, your imageboard, not my homepage or some comfy blog, what do you want from me? I've unlocked it because you wanted me to do so in the first place, the board is watched and moderated every fucking day, "rules" - in the main sticky, offtopic thread is there for your silly chit-chat pleasure, and you are free to create other thematic and not-so threads and do whatever you fucking want to do if it doesn't violate the "rules", do, you, understand, me? If you don't like it, or have nothing to bring/to say - then get the fuck out! Yes, it may sound very surprising, but I don't really care, can you see? I only care about Rozen Maiden, The Twins, Deltadesu, and the firepower of our (not yet) fully armed and operational booru station. Hell, if everyone gets their sorry asses out of here before our... "event", it's only for the best, as I will be finally able to post my drawings on the clearnet for some time.

Stay here, or fuck off back to desuchan, it's up to you, alright? But leave me alone already. Yes, and you too!

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Post last edited at

 No.6472

File: fe7bc231fc1ac43⋯.png (119.49 KB,301x442,301:442,63.png)

>>6470

very well, I would not feel such a way, if it wasnt for the last couple of weeks, if anything that has been "serious business" it was not done by my hand, but your own. and its been this way these last two years. Can you blame me for feeling such a way? honestly. Anyway as kira advised me a while back, you have never been the type to like discussing such metas, and i truly respect that.

>seems like you already made it: >>6451

upset drunken postings, take it however. once i see postings that seem like faith is lost such as >>6448 , it truly does bother me. in all honesty i felt you were going to lock the board not too long after. That thread was made because i could even reply to that post.

>offtopic thread is there for your silly chit-chat pleasure

it seems like this is an inconvenience, remove/lock it. I dont know anymore.

seems the others are already scared off, or watching in silence as i was. I guess i will leave it up to time. and give you your space as you desire.

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 No.6475

>the others

Who?

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 No.6476

File: 91d8225eecb5088⋯.png (111.5 KB,227x388,227:388,42.png)

who else has been around as of recently? only the few of us along with recents that got the ax, i am not going the question the axed posters, one seems they have a plethora of reasons why they are gone, and a history with you that i will not delve into being that its none of my business. Also have not seen anything of epsilon, even though i always get mixed up. Anyway enough of this, i am not going to fight with you.

are you here epsilon?

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 No.6477

File: 52bccb85143f7d4⋯.jpg (207.2 KB,1044x1000,261:250,81164512_p1.jpg)

Thank you.

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 No.6480

File: 4a0632cb4a94a28⋯.jpg (81.87 KB,600x560,15:14,4a0632cb4a94a28fca73772f77….jpg)

I hope you all are fine.

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 No.6481

File: 93bfd6ed43c5bb6⋯.jpg (39.99 KB,1024x576,16:9,1321264443263.jpg)

FREEDUMB!

phew, wow, you finally did it. atta boy, congratulations ~desu!

I'm terribly sorry for my absence, I haven't had internet access for a while, and I had some important things to do. yep, I'm serious, important things, very important, ehe-he.

ugh, what a mess. I knew, I knew I was needed here, but damn cops, man! oh shame on me, I'm sorry!

>>6470

hey, maybe you can hold off on your event for some time? I feel ya, but it's not over yet and all, I'm still around, beta is still around, and I'm sure delta treats you well, why not have some more fun before ending yourself and all that soykaf? how is the situation with paxil rebound effect? I really hope you don't abuse your drugs, especially alcohol, yuck.

>>6476

>are you here epsilon?

YES SIR

but seriously, what the fuck are you talking about man? you and I took this board back the hard way, and now you're saying shite like "it's really not my deal at all, remove it, kira told me so and so, I'll leave because reasons, you be alone and die", well it sounds like this. I wouldn't say so even if I was drunk like Yeltsin, but I AM right now, aand I don't quite remember what I was goin to say.

daym bro...

anyways, where is "kira" and where are we, and how could you say somethink like that to an ill and suicidal person, of course he will say that he wants us to go away and leave him alone, but it's not the thing he really wants ya pudding head! especially after what happened here. what a faggot. I didn't mean you gintonic, blarg, I mean gintofag, but that untermensch, yknow who I'm talking about.

>>6480

well, I'm sure I'm fine, but I'm afraid the same can't be said for some of the desufags here. dammit.

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 No.6503

>>6481

>hey, maybe you can hold off on your event for some time?

Why would I?

>I'm still around, beta is still around, and I'm sure delta treats you well

So what?

>why not have some more fun

Fun? What fun? Trolling brain-dead avafags or something? Do not want.

Bad.

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 No.6506

File: 92adf7699e68bc9⋯.png (326.13 KB,570x498,95:83,1299745953633.png)

>>6503

> Why would I?

because it's not time yet?..

> So what?

but...

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 No.6507

File: 9e2da06fb261402⋯.png (336.06 KB,1024x576,16:9,_.png)

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 No.6509

File: bce2abd03f7331d⋯.png (553.26 KB,669x852,223:284,81.png)

>>6481

>but seriously, what the fuck are you talking about man?

I can be a absolute fool at times, and sometimes i can feel defeated. Last thing i want to see is this board locked down again, and losing contact, or looming around til by some chance paths are crossed again. This is why i tend to prefer to wait until i have a clear head before posting, I dont like how i get at times when intoxicated. And I definitely do not want to be a burden at times where my mind goes weak and i shit myself away from the world. its not healthy and I know this is not the place for such. I care about you guys just as much as i hope you guys feel for me, even if at times I can be a confused mess.

>"it's really not my deal at all, remove it, kira told me so and so, I'll leave because reasons, you be alone and die"

its not the message i was trying to convey, its just recent events here made me feel it was my role to stay out of the way. I do not want to be a nuisance, as i have mentioned many times before, there are a lot of things i do not know, and I still feel to this day after everything, where i stand and my views I feel are not something that holds any ground, I may be wrong, but these are what goes through my mind at times, I do apologize.

>and how could you say somethink like that to an ill and suicidal person, of course he will say that he wants us to go away and leave him alone, but it's not the thing he really wants

hence why i stuck around, and said how i felt the best i could, I do not want any ill will. On either end.

>I didn't mean you gintonic, blarg, I mean gintofag, but that untermensch

I see, and understand.

>>6480

all is decent, could be better, but am content.

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 No.6535

File: f9d32a545487030⋯.jpg (85.19 KB,404x366,202:183,s.jpg)

Those formations in his brain seem to keep slowly growing. He is desperate, and not in emotional way, but more like... Kakizaki Megu? Medical expenses appropriate to his current situation are unaffordable to him, he himself is starving, but he won't accept any money from anybody because "it's useless to me at this point, I don't want to owe anybody in this life and it's far from enough anyway". He said he doesn't need any help at all. On the contrary, he'd rather follow his own kind of philosophy and act as if preparing. And, likely, he is completely tired of people, given his social retreat, not even I am able to contact him on my own. As much as his sickness assaulted him, he was always a strong person, not affected by mortido, but what I see now is desperation of a person in completely unsalvageable situation. This is his course of flow today.

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 No.6537

File: 8c304418e2efa4e⋯.jpg (116.76 KB,529x432,529:432,1334627184410.jpg)

well, shit, desuboard has been showing 404 for almost a week.

>>6509

oh, screw it mate, I think we're all to blame in a way. and there's nothing we can do about that now. well, can we? eh, I don't think so, we're gonna only make it even worse. if only, if only...

glad you're alright. ah, right, how's your alcohol problem?

>>6535

oh, crap. crappiest crappity crap. so, it really turned out to be fatal, huh?

> not even I am able to contact him on my own

lemme guess, you offered him money, of course he refused, but you insisted so much that he got angry and showed you the door, am I right? or was it something else?

either way, this is a complete failure. fool.

but this board's still here, safe and sound, in a way...

meh.

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 No.6538

File: 799ccc2681cffd0⋯.jpg (155.99 KB,890x1200,89:120,11.jpg)

>>6537

At least you are here, good bro. Which one of desuboards you are about?

> oh, crap. crappiest crappity crap. so, it really turned out to be fatal, huh?

Hard to say. Suspected to be related to necrosis, but to ascertain what are they exactly he'd have to do some special x-raying, which is not free, of course. He already spoke of it here, ctrl+f "stroke". And his body has accumulated many toxins, believing him, he must look like a zombie already, obviously, they must be life-threatening too, which is why he wanted to get rid of them.

> am I right?

You guessed in general. Sigh...

As for the board, you don't have to worry about it being closed for now.

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 No.6540

File: a8f1990f53f0aed⋯.png (363.55 KB,622x686,311:343,6.PNG)

>>6537

while everything in my little cubicle seems dull and uneventful, there are just soo many things happening, its almost as if the world is going mad.

>glad you're alright. ah, right, how's your alcohol problem?

soo far decent, have not been drinking as much besides this recent 4 day binge, but have been feeling better not rotting my liver everyday, meals are starting to taste better, less sick. perhaps next on the list is getting some more sun.

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 No.6541

File: 12d351c6f37ca2f⋯.png (382.1 KB,640x480,4:3,1300655853666.png)

>>6538

> At least you are here, good bro.

and you aren't so sneaky and silent like some shadow of the Fuhrer anymore, as I can see, ehe-he.

> Which one of desuboards you are about?

the one that he maintained in the darknet for several years, duh. but not to be confused with the wellknown "dBoard" one, which belonged to the Remnant through a different service and protocol. buuut wait. what? what do you mean "which one"? are you implying there are several of them now? tell me more.

> Suspected to be related to necrosis

woah, what kind of... aah, strokes. right. ow.

> some special x-raying, which is not free

hmmmmm, lemme think for a moment. given that he has a brain tumor, he should undergo an MRI or CT scan, not an x-ray, I suppose. why would he need an x-ray if he wasn't shot in the head or somethin like that? alright, alright, but I'm just wondering what kind of special this procedure is. are there free special and not so scans and x-rayings?

> believing him, he must look like a zombie already

many toxins, huh.

> alcohol, benzos, GABA-mimetics, analgesics, and dramamine is a hellout of a cocktail, not even counting paroxetine

ah. eh. right. alright, alright...

> You guessed in general

you're a louse. (c)

no offense. but you've known him so long and so intimately, I suppose, and... and! and. ah, crap, forget it. there's nothing to be done at this point, buddy. right?..

> you don't have to worry about it being closed for now

why do you think so though?

>>6540

>soo many things happening, its almost as if the world is going mad.

yeah. good thing that this almost doesn't affect me and our little plant. and almost can't at all.

oh, you bastard, seems like you're doing a bit better than me, ehe-he.

> perhaps next on the list is getting some more sun

sun, haah, he-he, it was sunny today, but still a little cold.

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 No.6542

File: 635ac133853c61c⋯.jpg (131.23 KB,600x1200,1:2,d3530918401242271.jpg)

>>6541

> the one that he maintained in the darknet for several years, duh.

I don't recall him ever telling me, though.

> what do you mean "which one"? are you implying there are several of them now? tell me more.

Just guessed, since it shouldn't be this one.

> I'm just wondering what kind of special this procedure is. are there free special and not so scans and x-rayings?

Um, more precisely, MR angiography and MRI with contrast highligting. He was doing some standard MRI on a more or less regular basis, but apparently it alone is not enough. And I don't know about that myself.

> many toxins, huh.

Well, at least he finally got off his paroxetine.

> you're a louse. (c)

Big O, right?

> no offense. but you've known him so long and so intimately, I suppose, and... and! and. ah, crap, forget it. there's nothing to be done at this point, buddy. right?..

It's not as simple as "getting angry because of money", alright. But I don't feel like delving into it. Though, I am not surprised at all.

> why do you think so though?

It stems from his words spoken to me.

What else... Nothing to speak of, I guess. At least I'm glad that I don't live in New York. I wish certain someone does well.

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 No.6543

File: 6f4fb65499d0c63⋯.jpg (62.49 KB,480x270,16:9,1362119191418.jpg)

>>6542

> I don't recall him ever telling me

huh, interesting. nevermind then, mate.

> MR angiography and MRI with contrast highligting

ah. I can see now. hmmm.

> he finally got off his paroxetine

nice! really frickin nice! congratulations, you tough and patient bastard, ehe-he!

> Big O, right?

yep.

> It's not as simple

aha. alright, alright.

> I am not surprised at all

why, may I ask?

> It stems from his words spoken to me.

you sure about that? ah well, let's assume that's true. mm...

but enough is enough. be honest. how was he doing? and what really happened? it can't be like that all of a sudden, out of the blue, something is wrong. maybe it's just my bad mood acting up, but i don't really like how it's turning out.

> What else...

what else, what else, I can't really say either. who would want to live in new york anyways?

certain someone, huh...

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 No.6544

File: 6b62a797559123c⋯.png (395.23 KB,529x576,529:576,1282169611476.png)

you won't even talk to me here, right?

I know you won't...

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 No.6545

File: ba465158dc13286⋯.png (418.94 KB,599x587,599:587,0349.png)

>>6543

> huh, interesting. nevermind then, mate.

Yeah, sure, whatever. Totally none of my business, as I see.

> spoiler

He sure as hell is...

> why, may I ask?

For a passion to last there must be something, and this invariability of bleak days may have slowly killed it too.

> you sure about that?

I am, given that he doesn't changes his mind for some reason.

> how was he doing?

Simply living days out, uneventfully, leisurely and dolefully, if not to count ill fits.

> and what really happened?

Ain't ya a nose? Since you are wishing well, I guess, I am still obliged... When I did what I did, not only he became upset, from his response I felt that he became dangerous and unreasonable. I was already tired and then I was also somewhat shocked and along the lines asked him to leave me alone. He said that I turned out to be a liar too and gave me his goodbyes. Well, darn, I may have been not sincere enough, indeed. The part of me that feels has already fallen in deep sleep. I'd rather provide some tangible help if that was possible. Perhaps, I realized it all too late myself.

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 No.6546

File: c9c45de7812a0a0⋯.jpeg (31.54 KB,400x400,1:1,0266.jpeg)

Still, I wish...

Не один я желаю, чтобы у тебя всё было хорошо.

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 No.6547

File: 5cf75e60733847f⋯.jpg (45.35 KB,400x400,1:1,1311764265189.jpg)

>>6545

> Totally none of my business, as I see.

I'm pretty sure it's none of my business as well. I found out his b32 link years years ago, when it was still planned to be something public, I suppose. but when everything collapsed and died, it seems like he decided it to be his personal diary and image archive or something like that. bizarre unaccessible imageboard of dreams and ghosts. all these years the site has been completely read-only, not counting the report form, but I've never received a response using it, it just wasn't functional, I believe.

> Ain't ya a nose?

sure I am, y'know.

ow... oh well. da, dyela, as Russians say, right? I just don't know what else can be said about it.

dyela...

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 No.6549

File: 4129ac86719d338⋯.png (183.41 KB,284x797,284:797,5.PNG)

>>6541

>yeah. good thing that this almost doesn't affect me and our little plant. and almost can't at all.

thats definitely a relief.

>seems like you're doing a bit better than me, ehe-he.

eh.. decent, could be better honestly, but not in the bad luckily.

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 No.6550

File: afe4dd9d27ee38c⋯.jpg (82.69 KB,355x450,71:90,1332179171157.jpg)

>>6549

ehe-he, come on, everything's going to be alright y'know! well, maybe not everywhere and not immediately, but definitely here. and if it becomes good here, then soon it will be good everywhere, because here will be everywhere again and beyond, I'm sure, he-he-he! someday! just be careful out there and wait for it, friend. or better come here somewhere, because it's boring to drink alone. but why drink? because today and today's night and tomorrow's not my shift! and also because you won't find a better bier anywhere! or you lilke something a bit more strong? ah, doesn't matter, doesn't matter.

the fuck I'm talkin about? I dunno lol. but I'm sure it's something important.

> decent, could be better honestly, but not in the bad luckily

It all will be fine, just be the strong mann, I know you can and you are, and I guess don't follow my example hah! that's for sure. no way! well, you see, not everyone has a Bismarck-class liver and all.

anyways, viel erfolg mein kamerad! ~desu

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 No.6552

File: 29cd397bceac318⋯.jpg (94.62 KB,600x600,1:1,1352459698435.jpg)

sigh. I'm starting to truly understand this disappointment. I'm sorry.

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 No.6553

File: 3d03de7feac259d⋯.png (78.34 KB,201x324,67:108,69.png)

>>6552

dont fret, things will get better in time, at least i hope so.

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 No.6554

File: 273e64b72f79fa9⋯.jpg (106.78 KB,600x550,12:11,1351242750517.jpg)

>>6553

prost.

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 No.6555

File: f4d98e0857bf326⋯.jpg (2.67 MB,3181x2463,3181:2463,1371301404450_big.jpg)

>>6554

no more darkness, how about to color for the mood, yes?

>prost.

hehe, not sure if cheers or i am a dumbass. but cheer up my boy. How are you?

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 No.6556

File: 4fde9a925d4f690⋯.jpg (117.51 KB,450x400,9:8,135678362731.jpg)

>>6555

he-he, yeah I guess.

> not sure if cheers or i am a dumbass.

no, not dumbass, dumbass! eh, sorry, eheh. just your words felt like a toast, so I...

> How are you?

it's not my shift, again, so I'm taking a little rest, well, eh, in other words, just sleeping and drinking. yep...

huh, it's so warm over here, and it's raining at the same time. what's the weather like over your place I wonder. ah, and what about yours, alpha, delta?

but most importantly, how about you, my friend?

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 No.6557

File: 60f79f252444a20⋯.jpg (160.77 KB,600x600,1:1,1321223261843.jpg)

I really want to believe that you two are reunited again, delta.

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 No.6558

File: b47cda7f95e4259⋯.jpg (44.17 KB,766x400,383:200,0561.jpg)

I feel sick of this constant, overwhelming drowsiness already.

>>6557

I apologize for being rude to such an extent as to go silent in the middle of conversation. Didn't feel like there is much to say at this point, that's all. It's not like russian will be of advantage any time soon, ha-ha. We haven't contacted each other. I just hope for the best.

>>6556

> what's the weather like over your place I wonder. ah, and what about yours, alpha, delta?

Rather ordinary summer with warm sun and moderate winds, but no blowing dust or high humidity this year, thank you very much.

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 No.6560

File: 1a962a6c44e4660⋯.jpg (517.81 KB,1200x852,100:71,c269b3ed0d693eb73416b9df26….jpg)

>>6556

>no, not dumbass, dumbass! eh, sorry, eheh. just your words felt like a toast, so I...

heh, no worries, can be an airhead at times.

>just sleeping and drinking.

hopefully in good moderation, then again i should practice what i preach hehe. things have been getting better un eventful but better for sure, hope all is well with you as well as the others.

>it's so warm over here, and it's raining at the same time. what's the weather like over your place I wonder.

hot, very very hot. at least the cold season is gone, and the colors, what little of them are returning, its nice, the winter is the worst for me, mood wise.

>>6558

>I feel sick of this constant, overwhelming drowsiness already.

oh dear, hopefully some sun and fluids can help, please take care of yourself. Not that you need little ol me to tell you any better. Just hope all is well.

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 No.6561

File: bbddab909d1039a⋯.jpg (242.06 KB,1662x1625,1662:1625,2phIoo4WYXs.jpg)

...

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 No.6562

File: 029a17368b5a763⋯.jpg (169.55 KB,700x500,7:5,1351251161059.jpg)

yeah.

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 No.6564

File: 054be6154abc899⋯.png (6.56 MB,2048x2048,1:1,054be6154abc8993f8e64ed47f….png)

do you think there is even a slight chance of us getting a new anime adaptation in the next five years?

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 No.6565

File: f233c67fa5ffb87⋯.png (4.53 MB,2000x2000,1:1,090.png)

Probably. More or less popular manga definitely gets adapted to anime, and for this title there should be at least some chances too. But no more than that.

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 No.6566

File: eedfb40931ba717⋯.jpg (246.03 KB,800x676,200:169,8dc41a8fb491365d025c9bb755….jpg)

the new dolk bjd's have sold out, seems like a good sign considering the prices. Look forward to seeing the suigintou release.

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 No.6568

File: 93f844fd65f59e7⋯.png (61.72 KB,300x100,3:1,1432774378622.png)

Does this place have a new BO now? I like what they did with the CSS.

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 No.6569

File: b115b779a64e28f⋯.png (67.54 KB,525x341,525:341,106.PNG)

>>6568

>new BO now?

Yes and no from my understanding, current BO has been around these parts since its inception, but has taken up admin about 2 years ago, once it was abandoned for a good chunk of 2017. if I remember correctly, Welcome.

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 No.6570

File: 1ac78f2118d025f⋯.gif (240.62 KB,400x400,1:1,1407832826718.gif)

>>6569

I'm glad to hear someone has been taking care of this place in his stead. The /desu/ BO of 2015 was very helpful to my board so I wanted to check up on him. Thanks for answering my question.

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 No.6571

File: 6e4b41c1a920aa0⋯.png (415.22 KB,700x655,140:131,22.PNG)

>>6570

>I'm glad to hear someone has been taking care of this place in his stead.

yes, the board has been well watched over, its nice to have visitors, especially former inhabitants that have been gone for some time.

>The /desu/ BO of 2015 was very helpful to my board so I wanted to check up on him.

he pops up elsewhere from time to time, but is around, distant but around. what happend to /kind/, did not make the migration to 8kun? or settled your board elswhere?

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 No.6572

File: d7df6a2aa592cf4⋯.jpg (480.69 KB,2560x1600,8:5,915ac5722622679f1f25c84520….jpg)

>>6571

>he pops up elsewhere from time to time

That's great, I'll definitely keep an eye on this thread just in case.

>what happend to /kind/

A lot has happened to /kind/ since 8ch was taken down. I gave up on imageboards after the shooting, so /kind/ was taken over by someone else on julay.world. That new /kind/ BO had the bright idea of migrating the board to a new site (kindchan.org) and deleted it for unknown reasons last month. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces with my new site kind.moe.

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 No.6574

File: 1464b2e911b64ad⋯.jpg (65.55 KB,775x915,155:183,43736641_311152766341398_3….jpg)

is it me or 8kun has experienced some difficulties lately?

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 No.6575

File: 0a0d01bc0df2862⋯.png (69.03 KB,375x200,15:8,86.PNG)

>>6574

I have been noticing the same thing, not quite sure whats the cause.

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 No.6579

File: 5cf75e60733847f⋯.jpg (45.35 KB,400x400,1:1,1311764265189.jpg)

why is he, why would he...

what happened to him...

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 No.6581

File: 536423ded516432⋯.png (111.65 KB,282x396,47:66,43.PNG)

don't know anymore..

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 No.6582

File: 7e28912864efd10⋯.jpg (639.54 KB,1518x2048,759:1024,0510.jpg)

neither do I...

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 No.6583

File: c2eb222331fe4de⋯.jpg (53.96 KB,640x480,4:3,1393227121770.jpg)

>>6582

oh you do, you do, you bastard.

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 No.6584

File: 8efe7d78b4707cb⋯.png (47.41 KB,196x268,49:67,89.PNG)

Can there be an end to this already, how long is it planned to be like this, months, forever? It's all soo tiresome.

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 No.6585

File: 4950cf38e6de041⋯.jpg (95.4 KB,600x360,5:3,1322428179542.jpg)

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 No.6586

At least now you see.

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 No.6587

File: 1769fad44809468⋯.png (158.43 KB,364x351,28:27,41.PNG)

simply just wish for everyone to get along.

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 No.6588

File: 8d2eaafbab12238⋯.jpg (115.99 KB,415x453,415:453,1152497451204zg8_Copy.jpg)

what the heck is going on here?

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 No.6589

File: 4e9d7ed9872510d⋯.jpg (209.81 KB,564x800,141:200,83320179_p32.jpg)

Happy birthday, Nat-chan!

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 No.6590

File: 46f77dc3ebc1bc9⋯.png (315.45 KB,768x768,1:1,F22C1C3D_0C23_4CC3_80B2_72….png)

Bored. And sweaty.

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 No.6593

How strange...

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 No.6594

File: 43a2ed16a17d449⋯.png (24.35 KB,184x205,184:205,46.PNG)

something wrong?

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 No.6595

File: 718e951460ae276⋯.jpg (300.86 KB,704x1000,88:125,83320179_p34.jpg)

>>6594

No, no, it's nothing.

Ah, okay, fine, well, it's just... Um, I don't really know how to say this. This thread feels like deja vu. A huge one. But different. I mean, I'm not sure, but I think I've forgotten something. And I don't remember what.

Huh, I thought you were the moderator here. Since there were two moderators, right? You know what, nevermind.

I'm not fooling around. Hold on, please. I need to think. I really need to think.

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 No.6596

File: 3b870120cf3c4a6⋯.png (372.86 KB,412x888,103:222,84.png)

>>6595

>spoiler

nope, I was looking after the board during the time it was abandoned, before current BO came along and stepped up to look after it.

>I really need to think.

take your time, hope everything is alright.

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 No.6597

File: ea056ef6c676dd8⋯.png (286.13 KB,400x600,2:3,06373.png)

>>6596

Eh. You see, I am the current BO, and I also don't recall any other BO's here despite everything you say itt. It's ridiculous, right?

Something isn't right. Something is really wrong there. I think I understand. And there's somebody I need to talk to. Right now.

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 No.6598

File: 6902c410cc97c7a⋯.png (637.04 KB,697x865,697:865,8.PNG)

>>6597

>I also don't recall any other BO's here despite everything you say itt.

thats where you are wrong, i claimed this board once it was up for grabs, did not want it to end up in the wrong ones. this is before you came around with the shared secret exactly which was 12/23/2017 and claimed it back, shortly later sometime before febuary 2018. I have no need to lie.

>I think I understand. And there's somebody I need to talk to. Right now.

there is no need, you see. I never had the shared secret. It was never handed to me, as i saw the board was abandoned and up for grabs, I decided to care for it. Then you came and took over, which there is nothing wrong with that, hence why I had nothing to say about it. its in better hands.

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 No.6599

File: 63b4e73cfdd7b32⋯.png (80.29 KB,285x376,285:376,11.PNG)

you can find it shortly discussed in the previous off topic thread.

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 No.6600

File: 90af36b7419b258⋯.jpg (223.64 KB,563x800,563:800,83320179_p20.jpg)

>>6598

>>6599

Ah, don't worry, I believe you.

>there is no need, you see.

They've already explained everything to me. If it's necessary, it's necessary. For my own good and everyone else's. I'm still a little confused, but I'll get used to it, I guess.

Let's not dwell on it, everything is fine, I guess. I'll better go continue drawing while I still can. Take care, Anon.

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 No.6601

File: 45a87cd89e1aadc⋯.png (121.69 KB,390x265,78:53,84.PNG)

>>6600

if there is anything you need to talk about I am here, always around. Don't be a stranger.

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 No.6602

File: 753d6c1a43e49db⋯.jpg (107.6 KB,500x350,10:7,1583769505900.jpg)

they did it.

they did it.

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 No.6604

is it me or post newer than 12th August doesn't show up:?

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 No.6605

must be you

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 No.6608

File: c9a22073655f1a7⋯.png (113.91 KB,800x550,16:11,08c6e260_edd9_4623_9e11_dc….png)

>>6604

it might be an issue with the newest firefox

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 No.6609

File: ccd50f601319aa2⋯.jpg (339.43 KB,711x1000,711:1000,83320179_p2.jpg)

Today was a good day, I guess.

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 No.6611

Sweet dreams.

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 No.6612

File: 219b72d79ae5b0c⋯.png (431.9 KB,517x865,517:865,65737299_p0.png)

Hope for 2022

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 No.6614

File: 1f4ccdb3f6667f0⋯.jpg (211.21 KB,561x800,561:800,83320179_p19.jpg)

>>6612

Hehe.

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 No.6618

File: 228508a961755df⋯.png (38.49 KB,283x603,283:603,107.PNG)

hello, hope all has been well with all of you. Have not forgotten about you guys.

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 No.6619

File: 61fb2858ac5cadf⋯.jpg (949.8 KB,1511x2047,1511:2047,84263824_p1.jpg)

>>6618

Thank you, I guess. Don't know about the others, though. But I hope you're alright, too.

And thank you, again... I really appreciate it.

I guess...

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 No.6620

File: a1fe41f751beb8d⋯.png (130.1 KB,445x397,445:397,60.PNG)

>Don't know about the others, though. But I hope you're alright, too.

I am doing fine, just keeping my head straight through a lot of all that has been going on. I have been watching the activity though, I feel its important to know if all is well. Anything can happen at anytime. Hope the others are well though, have not seen much happening, aside from small talk with /kind/ gintofag. Nice to see visits from them though.

>I really appreciate it.

of course, as I have said before, I am always around to talk. quiet, but around friend.

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 No.6621

File: f789d36cb8f280b⋯.jpg (211.97 KB,561x800,561:800,83320179_p33.jpg)

>>6620

There was something going on, huh. Was it something bad? Perhaps, for you or your relatives? Or for someone you love? Well, you know, personal things. Or was it bad, um, for "everyone"? I sincerely apologize if you would prefer not to answer to this question or if it just sounds... Strange, bizarre or silly, I guess. I shall quite understand.

>Anything can happen at anytime.

Haha, that's right, anything can happen at anytime, you're right. You're so right... sighs

But let's not talk about bad things, I'm sure you have enough of them to deal with, though I hope I'm wrong about that.

>Nice to see visits from them though.

I guess...

>I feel its important to know if all is well.

>I am always around to talk. quiet, but around friend.

It may sound like another dumb and ridiculous question, but... Why? Who and why would ever feel empathy for such a person like me or for this cursed place? But nevermind that, I guess, really. I'm really glad and grateful to you, even though I'm a bit confused. Perhaps, I just don't remember something important or so... Moreover, I am sure that there are other, more important people still lurking out here, so it's alright, I guess. Thank you, my dear friend.

Oh, well...

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 No.6622

File: 5f21c91328b29fb⋯.png (129.98 KB,520x363,520:363,88.PNG)

>>6621

>There was something going on, huh. Was it something bad?

>Perhaps, for you or your relatives?

a bit of both, to put it simply reality could slow down a bit in my circles. I guess to simplify it, I have grown sick of funerals. and seeing others lose track of their lives to the point I do not see them anymore hurts. Even though its for the better to distance myself from it all. Just would like things to be as they were. But that is not happening.

>I sincerely apologize if you would prefer not to answer to this question or if it just sounds... Strange, bizarre or silly, I guess. I shall quite understand.

its not an issue, its unhealthy to keep things too bottled up, leaves room for emotionally driven mistakes, that I really cant afford to make. especially when it comes to how I treat my health with such things as substance abuse for peace of mind, its only temporary happiness that leaves me in pain for days. Life is too short to be soo careless.

>But let's not talk about bad things, I'm sure you have enough of them to deal with, though I hope I'm wrong about that.

nothing i cant handle, I feel confident in that. But how are you? how are things in your world? definitely dont want to throw my own burdens when I am certain others have their own share. is everything alright?

>I guess...

Aside from the regular posters here, even if not many these days. I feel it is nice to see new words from visitors. Brightens things up in my opinion.

>Why? Who and why would ever feel empathy for such a person like me or for this cursed place?

because its simply in my nature to care, and since being involved its only natural of me to want to be there when I can possibly be needed, even if small talk and some posts here and there. The paths a cross with people over time is something I greatly value. perhaps it sounds immature, but its something I have no grasp over, instinctual I guess, we are all social creatures after all.

>I'm really glad and grateful to you, even though I'm a bit confused.

I appreciate that, I feel in these times friends are something that really matters the most, even if distant.

>Moreover, I am sure that there are other, more important people still lurking out here, so it's alright, I guess.

importance is the least of it, I am sure this thread is watched by friends, and as I said before even if distant I feel they are still around, and are more than willing to say something. I guess where I am getting at is, if they were to come I feel it is something to be appreciated and cherished, even with perhaps a riddled past and such. I have faith that there is no such thing as the last of contacts.

>Thank you, my dear friend.

of course, and I am always here.

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 No.6623

File: 307bdb923891cd2⋯.jpg (344.52 KB,703x1000,703:1000,83320179_p3.jpg)

>>6622

>Even though its for the better to distance myself from it all. Just would like things to be as they were. But that is not happening.

I think I understand you... Very-very well. And I mean it.

>its not an issue, its unhealthy to keep things too bottled up

Tell me about it, hehe. You're right, it's very unhealthy and painful. I know for sure, because this is my eternal problem.

>leaves room for emotionally driven mistakes

Or loss of control over the invasion of the unconscious and psychotic attacks. Well, to each his own, right?

>especially when it comes to how I treat my health with such things as substance abuse for peace of mind, its only temporary happiness that leaves me in pain for days.

I see I've already recommended baclofen to you here. If it's still alcohol-related, of course. But I understand. As for me, I still can't quit benzodiazepines. I mean, every time I consider to decrease dosage, someone prescribes it for me again. And the addiction continues to increase. Well, I don't do injections anymore, but even now, immediate withdrawal because of one accidentally missed handful of pills is very irritating. Of course, this is not the only problem of this kind, but it doesn't matter much, I guess.

>nothing i cant handle, I feel confident in that.

I'm glad.

>But how are you? how are things in your world? definitely dont want to throw my own burdens when I am certain others have their own share. is everything alright?

Eh...Well, nothing really happens all the year I'm sitting here, barely going outside. I'm feeling a bit worse to be honest, but I don't know what's going on in my skull as I still haven't had an MRI. But that can wait a little longer, I guess, since I have enough other things to worry about and I don't have enough money for everything, like storing spare filters, "food", treatment of worsening spinal chondrosis, stomach ulcers, pancreatitis, cerebrovascular hypertension, unclear heart issues, chemical addictions, and other annoying and possibly dangerous diseases of the body. As for my state of mind... I finally got rid of all the treatment and just try to put up with it. After all, I'm not alone and this helps me a lot, really. I, um, I think you know what I mean. Some symptoms are getting worse, but... I just bear with it and I think it's worth it. Don't ask why. I can't explain it properly to you, I guess.

I don't really know what else there is to say. Something else is bothering me, something important, but I can't remember what it is.

>because its simply in my nature to care

Your nature is really nice. And it's very rare and sweet nature, I guess. ^ ^

>we are all social creatures after all.

Maybe, maybe... To one degree or another, it all depends on the individual, I guess. But of course, the majority of people are very social creatures.

>friends are something that really matters the most, even if distant.

Friends, friends... Maybe. We are friends, I guess. Hehe, of course we are. Nevermind me, I'm just thinking.

>I feel it is something to be appreciated and cherished, even with perhaps a riddled past and such. I have faith that there is no such thing as the last of contacts.

Hm. Fair enough, I guess.

>of course, and I am always here.

Like I said, I really really appreciate it. You're always welcome here. ^ ^

I'm sorry, I hope it didn't sound like I was whining about all this irl stuff or something like that...

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 No.6624

File: 95cd762cdf65dae⋯.png (1.03 MB,1546x1314,773:657,83801604_p1.png)

I apologize for the long reply time, I haven't spoken to anyone in a very long time. Confusion and chaotic thoughts probably aren't helping much either. ~desu

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 No.6625

File: ee9a5571c40770f⋯.png (66.94 KB,300x197,300:197,79.PNG)

no worries, just been busy. Will return asap.

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 No.6626

File: a45d9dbb3ad5478⋯.jpg (1.08 MB,1000x1686,500:843,82801639_p3.jpg)

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 No.6629

File: 65a950ef2f8fb5e⋯.png (88.31 KB,323x295,323:295,91.PNG)

>>6623

back,

>I know for sure, because this is my eternal problem

It happens to the best of us.

>Or loss of control over the invasion of the unconscious and psychotic attacks.

You sincerely are not on your own when it comes to that, really. Even though likely to be alcohol induced I am very familiar.

>immediate withdrawal because of one accidentally missed handful of pills is very irritating.

addiction is definitely a mother of a beast to maintain, or conquer. Seen it in others, and battle one myself. even though with your situation can't can't even imagine the comparison.

>Something else is bothering me, something important, but I can't remember what it is.

Take your time.

>spoiler

no worries, sometimes its okay to get a load off.

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 No.6630

File: 644951f5c1bb29c⋯.jpg (260.79 KB,1024x1024,1:1,65165593_p8.jpg)

>>6629

Eh. Thank you...

I'm always afraid that you're not real or something. So silly, isn't it, hehe? Well, what can one do, when the dream world feels much more real than this one.

We... I mean, I really wish I could somehow help you, too. I'm, I'm sure I have some spare willpower. I guess.

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 No.6631

File: a4018f8da2a114f⋯.png (1.19 MB,2894x4093,2894:4093,84549823_p0.png)

Today was a good day for magnetic storms, I guess.

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 No.6633

File: abdb5549152d440⋯.jpg (2.01 MB,1748x2480,437:620,84651481_p0.jpg)

And it, it doesn't really bother me much, I guess. I'm used to it anyway, ehehe. And those silly health problems, too, I guess. So...

But again, there's something...

I don't know. I can't remember. I just want to see some snow and stars one more time. Of that I am sure.

Just don't mind me, I guess.

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 No.6636

File: 0d76bf76c51406d⋯.jpg (617.03 KB,1080x1781,1080:1781,84677192_p10.jpg)

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 No.6637

>>6633

Are you trying to remember someTHING or someONE?

Are you sure youre ready to remember? What if there are bad memories along with good?

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 No.6639

File: 99fb0f9c61c7201⋯.jpg (332.82 KB,710x1000,71:100,83320179_p14.jpg)

>>6637

I don't know, I guess. Maybe both.

>Are you sure youre ready to remember?

I'm not sure. Why should I be ready to remember? If I suddenly forgot something specific, then it's probably for my own good, I guess. So they say. And I should probably agree with them, I guess...

I'm just being bothered and annoyed by these gaps in my memory, by these ink blots, by this barrier behind which I feel something, and all these deja vu and dreams. It feels like some kind of strange client-side dementia. At least this way the experience wasn't erased at the cost of these side effects, as I was told.

>What if there are bad memories along with good?

Sure, is there any other reason to lock up memories at all? I trust and believe... I mean, I'm sure that without it, whatever it was, my existence will be a bit less painful. I acknowledge the possibility of good memories being blocked by friendly fire, but, really, hehe, what can I do about it...

But I still feel sad about something for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I feel sad for a ton of reasons, hehe, I just don't like this dream-like sadness. I have enough false memories to haunt me, not to mention the real ones. If they are real.

blah-blah-blah

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 No.6642

>>6639

>If I suddenly forgot something specific, then it's probably for my own good, I guess

Ah, yes... probably better for you to keep those feelings locked up. You talk about those locked memories enough its hard to tell if you want them locked away or not.

>but, really, hehe, what can I do about it

I'm sure if you wanted to know you could ask, and something or someone would help you remember, but... that could cause lots of pain, but maybe some happiness too? Likely both not one or the other. Bringing back memories of both and creating more of both in the future.

But pandoras box can only be opened not closed, and its up to you what is better for your health and mind

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 No.6643

File: 2d72022b0e3d135⋯.jpg (371.82 KB,699x1000,699:1000,83320179_p11.jpg)

>>6642

I feel as if something important is missing from me, I feel a void in the former place of it, and I... Miss it? But at the same time I feel that the dangerous gap in the unconscious is now closed, one of many, but still. I don't know. It's a double-edged sword.

>I'm sure if you wanted to know you could ask, and something or someone would help you remember

You see, I didn't lock up these feelings and memories, it's beyond my abilities, I only asked for it and authorized this action, but I don't remember why. I also forbade to tell me about it, so... It must have been something important, I guess.

If I ask to return everything back, it will turn out that it was all for nothing. But it had a purpose, right? Is the risk justified? And this request was not an easy one for the performer of this action, I know it. It's just disrespectful. And this wasn't just for me, it was for us, I guess. For our primary task.

>happiness

I forgot what happiness is a long time ago. I am no longer able to feel it. The only happiness for me that I can experience is to be together and feel each other. I can't even imagine anything else in this world/shell other than that, dreams and artificial stimulation with neurotransmitters.

You're very obviously trying to hint me something. I guess I won't ask you who you are. As you may be aware, it's up to you.

Happiness, huh... "Something or someone"...

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 No.6644

>>6643

>I don't know. It's a double-edged sword.

It absolutely is

>And this request was not an easy one for the performer of this action, I know it. It's just disrespectful. And this wasn't just for me, it was for us, I guess.

Ah, yes, I suppose you asking would be disrespectful. I feel the same way, that without being asked talking about things that could open up those old memories would be rude.

>For our primary task.

Oh? What is that?

>The only happiness for me that I can experience is to be together and feel each other.

So being with people is the one thing that brings you joy?

>You're very obviously trying to hint me something. I guess I won't ask you who you are.

I am and i'm not. Like you said, it would be disrespectful to unlock those memories, and I don't wish to accidentally reveal something that unlocks them without you wishing it.

>As you may be aware, it's up to you.

That's a heavy weight, and it scares me

Regardless, you look lonely. Would you like some extra company?I might be a pain and a double edged sword though, but in my experience that's how it is when you get close to people

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 No.6645

File: d48338618e5e882⋯.jpg (189.55 KB,530x800,53:80,83320179_p27.jpg)

>>6644

>Ah, yes, I suppose you asking would be disrespectful.

Very disrespectful. I'd never forgive myself, I guess.

>Oh? What is that?

Survival.

>So being with people is the one thing that brings you joy?

Hehe. Nope, being with people brings me nothing. Annoyance and fatigue, perhaps. Sometimes disgust, sometimes curiosity. Depends on the person.

I wasn't talking about people. ^ ^

>I don't wish to accidentally reveal something that unlocks them without you wishing it.

I doubt that your information will pass through Her barriers and provoke any reaction from me.

>Regardless, you look lonely.

It was a conscious and deliberate decision, I guess.

>Would you like some extra company?

Depends on what kind of company, I guess.

>in my experience that's how it is when you get close to people

Our experiences may vary greatly, I guess. And it can be very difficult for us to get close to each other, if not impossible. A lot of things has changed recently in my mind. But I won't harm you without reason, I guess.

Ah, overspoiler syndrome kicks in again. I apologise. And I apologize again for the weird flow of words, I just... "Change my hands" from time to time. Eh... Nevermind that.

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 No.6646

File: 00af60803565b21⋯.png (220.12 KB,413x581,59:83,2020_10_03_18_08_10_007_pn….png)

>>6645

>I wasn't talking about people. ^ ^

oh, what were you talking about?

>Depends on what kind of company

What kind of company would you like?

>overspoiler syndrome kicks in again. I apologise.

Not at all not at all, i'm the guest intruding here, and can be oblivious sometimes, tell me if I do something rude and what it was and I'll knock it off.

Do you like to talk about the brain? You seem very knowledgeable about it and I'd like to ask some questions if that's okay?

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 No.6647

File: 638486d79d3aa47⋯.jpg (354.32 KB,1000x707,1000:707,83320179_p35.jpg)

>>6646

Not "what", but "who". Rude!..

>What kind of company would you like?

SOS Dan membersHehe, I really don't know. If humans... Just a fellow rozenfag, perhaps? Aww. Well, what kind of company would you like? ^ ^

>Not at all not at all

Why though? It's me who suffers from permanent brain damage that causes a person to use spoiler tags instead of parentheses and almost at every opportunity there.

>i'm the guest intruding here

Ahem. For the love of the Seven, this is /desu/ after all, not my personal page or something like that... Same goes for this thread. Aren't you a desufag?

tumbleweed passes by

Grrr, this still changes nothing!

>Do you like to talk about the brain?

Um. I guess I can talk about the brain and related topics, but I'm not sure if I like to talk about it. I mean, actually, yes, I used to like to talk about it and all, but-[~1000 CHARS OF BLABBERING EXPUNGED]

...Let's just say it's true.

>I'd like to ask some questions if that's okay?

That's... that's okay, I guess.

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 No.6648

File: f33f3da6b3c2655⋯.png (93.71 KB,277x278,277:278,2020_08_29_18_46_56_0036_0….png)

>>6647

*>fellow rozenfags**

This is the type of company i like as well.

Weird, i thought all imageboard users were like that with spoiler text.

>Aren't you a desufag?

Absolutely i am.

>Um. I guess I can talk about the brain and related topics, but I'm not sure if I like to talk about it. I mean, actually, yes, I used to like to talk about it and all, but-[~1000 CHARS OF BLABBERING EXPUNGED]

Hehe thats okay, i wish i knew more about the brain. I am starting to learn but only a little.

>That's... that's okay, I guess.

Okay, how can one improve their brains memory capacity for short term memories? My brain is terrible at keeping memories like numbers for more than even a few seconds, i easily forget pieces of information. How can someone imrpove brainpower in that regard? Diet? Mental exercise?

I might be gone most of tomorrow, i have a long workday but I'll stop by again. ^^

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 No.6649

File: 63d1d1e3656a4a4⋯.png (24.16 KB,400x272,25:17,sleep.png)

>>6648

Ah. Okay... I also really need to switch and finally get some sleep, right now, I guess. Maybe I'll meet you in a dream.

I'll be waiting. ^ ^

Sweet dreams. ~desu

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 No.6651

File: be885e1e41a26d0⋯.jpg (359.08 KB,701x1000,701:1000,83320179_p1.jpg)

>>6648

Am I just another fellow rozenfag for you or is there something more, I wonder, hehe?

>Weird, i thought all imageboard users were like that with spoiler text.

Well, not really like that... You just didn't see times when I used to post black boxes made of 2000+ characters.

>Absolutely i am.

Let's say I believe you. Good... Good. We'll talk about it later, I guess. Don't worry, I'm just thinking. No, I can't say what it is.

>I am starting to learn but only a little.

Oh, really? How? I'm curious.

>Okay, how can one improve their brains memory capacity for short term memories?

Ah, your memory is not good, short term especially. scroll-scroll I see, I see. Condition, yellow alert. Shields up.

Memory... I'd recommend drinking cisterns of tea for caffeine plus l-theanine. Or perhaps you prefer coffee or energy drinks? I'd also recommend trying -racetams nootropics. Piracetam... I dunno, I don't take it very seriously, so does pubmed, I guess. It should somehow help people with such problems, but I didn't notice anything other than increasing the color saturation of my hallucinations and increasing the effect of psychotropic drugs. Even when I was eating handfuls of pills or making a soup out of piracetam, glucose, psychostimulants, and a can of "Monster". (The piracetam was there instead of the meatballs, I guess.) Maybe it's just me. There are plenty of other racetams, so I'm also familiar with phenylpiracetam, also known as fonturacetam, Phenotropil, Carphedon, Entrop, Nanotropil Novo, etc. I'm sure of this one, you can try it, I guess. Really.

There's more, but there are also stimulants, like the ones the doctor can prescribe for your illness that you mentioned here, Ritalin, and all that shit. I know some "experimental" substances that can help with memory for a short time, and not only with memory, but they are untested and can be dangerous for your psyche, so I will not say anything about them, and you won't get them for cheap there/won't remember names anyways. By the way, are you a smoker? Nicotine is a good psychostimulant that improves concentration, short-term memory range, general memorization, clears the mind, calms and relieves sleepiness. It's not necessary to smoke, there are pills, chewing gum, patches, steam machinery for gays and glycerin addicts, snuff (ahchoo), and trve cvlt Swedish snus. Too bad it's very addictive for most people, harmful for the cardiovascular system, and very harmful for smokers. But what's not harmful, hehe?

You can also try drinking less ethanol, eating less sugar and pastries you sweet tooth, moar spicy food, exercising (not sure about that tho), taking a course of vitamins, antioxidants and aminoacids, stopping killing your brain with you-know-what if I'm not wrong about previous posts, and most important, challenging yourself with word-recall games or tests, crosswords, speed reading, memorizing poems, stories, sonnets, strings of numbers, landscapes and tongue twisters, especially the latter, since it's the jurisdiction of the short-term memory and speech motor center zone. Create and use imaginary images for words, numbers, and objects, for anything you want to remember.

But there is a nuance. You can’t really permanently greatly improve your short-term memory especially if you suffer from some kind of neurodegenerative pathology, then this is practically impossible. without the use of special techniques and drugs in everyday life I guess, but you can really improve your long-term memory, which is just as important and useful.

All these are "natural" methods, so far we don't possess effective and proven methods for artificially improving the brain with our level of technology yet. I only know about experimental trans-invasive methods of electrical stimulation and neurotransmitter manipulations. But that, of course, is another topic for another day.

I hope I was able to help you in some way, at least a little bit. ~desu

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 No.6652

File: 759877d561412c0⋯.png (730.56 KB,516x571,516:571,Sui001.png)

>>6651

>Am I just another fellow rozenfag for you or is there something more, I wonder, hehe?

Well, um, to answer that would say too much about those locked away memories, I think

>Well, not really like that... You just didn't see times when I used to post black boxes made of 2000+ characters.

Oh wow, that is quite a lot of text ehehe. Must be some sort of passion for it at least to cause that.

>Let's say I believe you. Good... Good. We'll talk about it later, I guess. Don't worry, I'm just thinking. No, I can't say what it is.

Okay, take your time.

>Oh, really? How? I'm curious.

I am reading "Emotional Intelligence" which covers much of how the brain is made and how emotions are controlled by the brain or how emotional hijacks happen. Just the barebones layman understanding, but how the neocortex is the actual thought center, the amygdala is closer to the spine than the neocortex, etc.

>drinking cisterns of tea for caffeine plus l-theanine. Or perhaps you prefer coffee or energy drinks?

I definitely prefer tea, for sure. Energy drinks are okay, but coffee is disgusting. Any specific tea? I have been drinking black tea lately. What is it about tea that helps?

I swear I have heard L-theanine before. I almost grabbed it but it was a bit much for my wallet at the time. I will have to try it finally! It is an easy to get over the counter medicine. Are the... uh... tams, prescriptions or over the counter?

I prefer to avoid nicotine, I could probably become addicted easily.

More spicy food and less sugar can help? I have slowly been changing my diet in this direction as it is.

I will have to try to challenge my brain more.

>I hope I was able to help you in some way, at least a little bit. ~desu

Definitely a lot! I almost forgot about previous recommendations of l-theanine, thank you so much for reminding me.

Sorry I am busy during the week, and can't stop by more on days I am working. I just started a new job, and I will be driving all day. I'm a little nervous so wish me luck. Any memory games you can think of that I can do while driving to help practice my brains memory?

Hopefully you had sweet dreams. I sadly never remember mine, maybe three times a year, tops.

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 No.6653

File: 2406dacd40ee200⋯.png (542.16 KB,590x585,118:117,83484572_p0.png)

>>6652

As you wish, as you wish. Previous posts in this thread speak for you anyway, I guess, so...

>Must be some sort of passion for it at least to cause that.

I guess I was just bored. Or not. I can't remember that period of time very well. But it was interesting, I guess.

>I am reading "Emotional Intelligence"

Interesting, most interesting. And how is it?

>I definitely prefer tea, for sure.

Hehehe, okay. Very good choice.

>but coffee is disgusting.

Wha... Why?..

>Any specific tea?

Any good loose-leaf black tea. Tea bags is fine too if you're short on money.

>What is it about tea that helps?

Eh... Caffeine, L-theanine, theaflavins, thearubigins, flavanoids... Antioxidant activity, prevention of cancer/cardiovascular diseases/strokes, normalization of digestion, reduction of blood sugar, psychostimulation, adrenaline rush, erasing fatigue, increasing alertness and creativity, improving attention, decreasing reaction time, overclocking memory and generally enhancing central nervous system performance... Is that enough?

>It is an easy to get over the counter medicine.

Um. Why would you buy it when it's already in the tea?.. Well, do as you please, I guess. If a separate supplement exists, then someone needs it. By the way, it's included in some energy drinks, as well as creatine.

>Are the... uh... tams, prescriptions or over the counter?

Bantams? Lactams? Caprolactams?.. Ah, (pi)racetams. Well, I don't know, I can buy them over the counter over here. Regular piracetam probably shouldn't be on prescription, no, I'm sure of it. Don't know about phenylpiracetam. You can also look for N-Phenylacetyl-l-prolylglycine ethyl ester Noopept, I've heard of it, but never tried it. It's similar to the racetam-class nootropics, basically a dipeptide analog of piracetam, and I've heard good reviews about its effect on memory. Maybe not even a placebo, who knows.

>I prefer to avoid nicotine

That's a wise decision, I guess.

>More spicy food and less sugar can help?

Sure. And consider adding curcuma in your diet.

>Definitely a lot!

I'm glad.

>Sorry I am busy during the week, and can't stop by more on days I am working.

It's alright, really. As you may have noticed, I can wait literally for years. ~desu

>I'm a little nervous so wish me luck.

Good luck! And be careful! ^ ^

>Any memory games you can think of that I can do while driving to help practice my brains memory?

Hmm. Try to remember the route in detail. Or remember songs or tongue twisters. I don't know, ehehe. Or you can try to remember me, my words and all these strange phrases and names, think about what you would say to me or ask me when you return, what my answer would be, what my thoughts really are and who was actually talking to you...

hehe

>Hopefully you had sweet dreams.

Well, it was an unusual (not really) experience, though I don't remember it very well. It's a pity, I guess.

>I sadly never remember mine, maybe three times a year, tops.

Fascinating.

Sleep well.

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 No.6655

File: b660c0d4fa62221⋯.png (1.32 MB,676x752,169:188,2020_10_05_21_44_35_.png)

>>6653

>Interesting, most interesting. And how is it?

Very good. A recommendation from my father. Later chapters are about managing ones own emotions, and should help me get emotionally hijacked less. Sometimes my emotions get away from me and take over.

>Wha... Why?..

I just do not like the taste, or the smell. I am not sure why, I just naturally do not like it. I have tried to give it a chance too. But every time I taste it, bleck!

>Any good loose-leaf black tea. Tea bags is fine too if you're short on money.

Ah yes, lately I am shorter on money so teabags it is. But one day I would like to try doing loose leaf tea. I may actually have some I just need to get around to trying.

>Eh... Caffeine, L-theanine, theaflavins, thearubigins, flavanoids...

Ohhh it contains these chemicals too! Now it makes sense. Thanks

>Um. Why would you buy it when it's already in the tea?.. Well, do as you please, I guess. If a separate supplement exists, then someone needs it. By the way, it's included in some energy drinks, as well as creatine.

Stronger doseage might have more effect. If my body is low already it might need more than whats in the tea i've been having. I'll keep an eye out, maybe this is why I've been enjoying the energy drink lemonades I have been getting. I have to be careful though, I'm trying to avoid sodium benzoate, as it risks making my allergies worse. I cannot wait until first frost. How strange I enjoy plants dying to cure my allergies but adore a gardener. I wonder if the plants Sui plants wouldn't trigger my allergies?

>Sure. And consider adding curcuma in your diet.

Curcuma?... *searches*... Ohhhh I see. I will take a look into this as well. Any good foods that contain it?

>It's alright, really. As you may have noticed, I can wait literally for years. ~desu

Ah yes, I have noticed. It is a bad habit of mine, to suddenly vanish at times, like a wandering wizard coming and going suddenly... though definitely not as wise. I promise if it ever happens it's nothing personal. It happens to everyone I know at some point, irl and online. I should reach out to my sewing instructor soon, I haven't said hello in some time, but I also kindof want to wait until I have free time to go sewing

>spoiler

I could check before my day starts if you have posted ehhe. And yes, sometimes I may get confused. Sorry about that ><

Sleep well.

I'll try, my sleep is troubled lately. lots of snoring apparently, clogged nose makes it hard to breath results in waking up tired, BUT, I have been wearing one of those nose opening strips you put on your nose, as well as taking antihistamines before bed, this seems to help, a lot! Sleep has been better the last few nights!

Oyasumi to you as well

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 No.6659

File: d473f77c3eab4c4⋯.jpg (81.6 KB,406x600,203:300,1551284568534.jpg)

I hope you are doing well

I wish I could bring more happy energy for you to feel, but I am feeling withered myself

I did come up with a tongue twister.

Sui sowed sunflower seeds in the soaked sunny soil. Or something like that.

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 No.6661

File: 86092cd9ebbede3⋯.png (581.56 KB,600x823,600:823,_44117.png)

>>6655

You have a good and caring father, I guess...

>Sometimes my emotions get away from me and take over.

It's totally normal. Everyone has different levels of control over their emotions. And you're lucky to have some of them at all, I guess.

>I have tried to give it a chance too. But every time I taste it, bleck!

Interesting. Either you are just not used to it (like smoking, you know), or you are just irritated by the consistency, texture and taste, a sign of symptoms of a nowadays popular spectrum of mental disorders, or you've just never tasted real, good, delicious coffee. But to each his own, I guess.

>I would like to try doing loose leaf tea. I may actually have some I just need to get around to trying.

Try it, it's really worth it. Much better and tastier. And much stronger if you want it and do it well, hehe. If you want more stimulation, try green tea. I personally don't like it, but I don't know about you.

>Ohhh it contains these chemicals too!

Of course! You really need to read more closely, I guess.

>Stronger doseage might have more effect.

Well, caffeine pills also have more effect, so much so that our body can bend the iron rods and precisely fire a pistol while running, and the resting heart rate goes over 135. So, I don't know what to say about that.

>If my body is low already it might need more than whats in the tea i've been having.

Your body may be low on it if it's addicted to it, it's like with caffeine. There is no endogenous L-theanine, you get it inside with tea or other plants. I don't know about therapy with this substance, I don't know if you can take high doses safely, so you'd better discuss it with someone who knows about it all too, but also knows you.

>How strange I enjoy plants dying to cure my allergies but adore a gardener.

I'm not sure, but even if they were a deadly threat to this body, I still wouldn't be able to enjoy plants dying. ¬¬

At least my body would have been a good fertilizer for them.

>I wonder if the plants Sui plants wouldn't trigger my allergies?

If any flowers can cause you allergies and hatred, then I have some very bad news for you. ~desu

>It is a bad habit of mine, to suddenly vanish at times

I see. Maybe you just don't have enough empathy/care. If it's not a memory problem, hehehehe.

>but I also kindof want to wait until I have free time to go sewing

Sewing? Ah, I see. Interesting and exciting hobby, I guess.

>I could check before my day starts if you have posted ehhe.

That would be nice, I guess. But keep in mind, I'm always here, but I'm not always able to reply by myself.

>And yes, sometimes I may get confused. Sorry about that ><

Nothing to be sorry about. You just don't know much about me, so, it's not your fault, I guess.

>this seems to help, a lot! Sleep has been better the last few nights!

I'm glad.

>Oyasumi to you as well

Thank you.

>>6659

Nothing to worry about, I just had a slight psychosis and was exhausted after it.

It's pointless, don't bother yourself with it please.

>I did come up with a tongue twister.

That's cute. ^ ^ I'll remember that.

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 No.6662

File: cc6a3aa64fb1d33⋯.png (177.09 KB,265x282,265:282,2020_10_08_20_33_15_Fortun….png)

>>6661

>You have a good and caring father, I guess...

yes, definitely lucky in that regard.

>It's totally normal. Everyone has different levels of control over their emotions.

still not at levels I would like, I have to keep improving.

>Try it, it's really worth it. Much better and tastier. And much stronger if you want it and do it well, hehe. If you want more stimulation, try green tea. I personally don't like it, but I don't know about you.

I will have to give it a try sometime. But speaking of warm drinks, my favorite by far is hot chocolate. Its warm, delicious, and even reminds me of the holiday season and christmas time.

>Of course! You really need to read more closely, I guess.

I tend not to because I forget so many little details in life, so I tend not to pay attention to things I know I will forget quickly. It's really a pain.

>There is no endogenous L-theanine, you get it inside with tea or other plants. I don't know about therapy with this substance, I don't know if you can take high doses safely, so you'd better discuss it with someone who knows about it all too, but also knows you.

Ah, I will try bringing this up with my doctor too then. I am already on .3mg of clonidine for my adhd, which is helping, but still not where I want my memory levels.

>I'm not sure, but even if they were a deadly threat to this body, I still wouldn't be able to enjoy plants dying. ¬¬

Perhaps it's which plants in particular. The ones that make it hard to breath in particular. Not only a threat, but an active harm. I suppose gardeners cut weeds as well as grow good plants, so I should think of it that way, I'm happy for the pollen infested weeds going away, and many of the pretty adorable flowers are safe and sound in greenhouses all year long, or will be back next year.

Actually im sure Sui would be able to figure out what plants I need to avoid better than I can.

>I see. Maybe you just don't have enough empathy/care. If it's not a memory problem, hehehehe.

I don't think its a lack of empathy/care, its a lack of energy to go around, between myself and others. I tire out easily, even talking to friends I enjoy, my energy fades over time, especially if my energy is already low from work.

>Sewing? Ah, I see. Interesting and exciting hobby, I guess

Yes, my ultimate goal is to sew Sui's dress, but I am not at that level yet.

>That would be nice, I guess. But keep in mind, I'm always here, but I'm not always able to reply by myself.

That's perfectly okay, you do not always have to reply if you don't have the energy.

>Nothing to worry about, I just had a slight psychosis and was exhausted after it.

It's perfectly alright, you do not have to push yourself. I'm glad you were able to recover from it.

>That's cute. ^ ^

I'm glad you like it.

Sleep well tonight

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 No.6663

File: b996502ffe69437⋯.png (68.22 KB,164x180,41:45,2020_10_08_20_40_46_Fortun….png)

Have you ever heard of spoon theory of emotional energy?

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 No.6665

File: c9963143f0989fb⋯.jpg (956.04 KB,768x1024,3:4,84653310_p0.jpg)

>>6662

Yeah, lucky as fuck, I guess.

>still not at levels I would like, I have to keep improving.

You're right, everyone should keep improving, but without being fanatical about it, I guess.

>I will have to give it a try sometime.

Just don't make it too weak. Tasteless and useless. Look for instructions or ask someone to teach you how to make it. And don't make it too strong, too. Well, I don't see anything wrong with that. "Tea is strong. Tea is bitter. Wisdom is strong. Wisdom is bitter. You see?" But you... You might not like it. Both taste and feelings. So... Yeah.

>But speaking of warm drinks, my favorite by far is hot chocolate.

Hehe. I don't like chocolate in any form, it gives me heartburn and stomach aches. And in solid form, it gets clogged in the teeth everywhere, and this causes a taste of bile to appear in the mouth over time. It wasn't like that before, a few years ago, but, ah, well. ^ ^;

>I tend not to pay attention to things I know I will forget quickly.

What if it's the other way around, and you tend to forget things you don't pay attention to? That's what happens most often, really!

>I am already on .3mg of clonidine for my adhd, which is helping, but still not where I want my memory levels.

Oh, I'm so lazy right now, I the laziest being in the N-field right now, I guess...

Uhm. I really think you should talk to your doctor about that before consuming large amounts of caffeine and theanine (powerful stimulants, caffeine - adenosine receptor antagonist-class, theanine - NMDA receptor agonist and glutamate receptors antagonist/glutamine reuptake inhibitor-class) or other even more nuclear stuff with your illness and drugs prescribed to you. Memory, not memory, but I really don't think you want to die suddenly or run around constantly with a feeling of burning dynamite stick shoved up your ass. I apologize.

I'm not your doctor you know, and I don't want to accidentally hurt you. ~desu

>I suppose gardeners cut weeds

That's Souseiseki's job.

>im sure Sui would be able to figure out what plants I need to avoid

That's Souseiseki's job. [2]

Do you see the connection?

>its a lack of energy to go around, between myself and others. I tire out easily, even talking to friends I enjoy

Interesting, interesting. Very well, keep it that way then, I guess.

>Yes, my ultimate goal is to sew Sui's dress

Ah, I see. Fascinating.

>I'm glad you like it.

Did you come up with something else? I'd love to hear it.

>>6663

Yes. All of my spoons went into negative value a long time ago and turned into forks, I guess. And it's really hard to apply this nonsense to me, I guess. This is nonsense for me, I'm not saying that it doesn't work for others. The difference is that I measure it in various "milligrams", I guess, hehe.

Why do you ask?

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 No.6670

File: 949ab606a568146⋯.png (325.95 KB,459x769,459:769,2020_09_05_18_22_34_16_jpg….png)

>>6665

>You're right, everyone should keep improving, but without being fanatical about it, I guess.

There is always room for improvement, no matter how small or how long it takes, at least, thats what i believe.

>But you... You might not like it. Both taste and feelings. So... Yeah.

Might be best to ease into it, get used to the taste before moving onto more bitter flavors.

>it gives me heartburn and stomach aches

Oh that is a bummer. I used to be neutral on chocolate but I've grown to like it more and more. But I know how you feel, I feel that way about bananas, they make me sick just to even smell.

>What if it's the other way around, and you tend to forget things you don't pay attention to? That's what happens most often, really!

I had never considered that.

>Memory, not memory, but I really don't think you want to die suddenly or run around constantly with a feeling of burning dynamite stick shoved up your ass. I apologize.

Don't worry, everything i'm on, well, except the tea, is prescribed by a doctor, a specialist even to help with my adhd.They may be the one who recommended l-theanine before too, I know i had heard it before, somewhere. I want to try l-theanine since its over the counter, and I think i asked my doctor about it before, but yes, generally I get help from them too. And I watch closely for any danger signs, and stop taking anything that causes bad changes... or switch timeframe if it just makes me sleepy. I had to do that with areprizole (probably spelt wrong).

>Do you see the connection?

Ah yes, I suppose I do. It is important to care for them both I suppose, not just one.

>Interesting, interesting. Very well, keep it that way then, I guess.

I want to keep improving here as well, hopefully my books help improve, with emotional intelligence I will likely see all around behavior improvements, including here. Actually I have already noticed some improvements, slightly less quick to anger already

>Did you come up with something else? I'd love to hear it.

Just variations, Sui sowed seeds in the sunny soil for sunflowers, and other light variations. Maybe I should think of one for Sou next.

>Yes. All of my spoons went into negative value a long time ago and turned into forks, I guess. And it's really hard to apply this nonsense to me, I guess.

Ouch, that is rough. And the theory isn't all covering or perfect for everyone, but it does make a good rough understanding of emotional toll. Even your analogy of forks, is understandable even if we've had to modify the base spoon theory to make it make sense.

I ask because I have my own modification analogy, and I had thought of using it. I often go into negative spoons, but can push myself further and go even more negative, but will need to recharge after. Sometimes I just sit in a slight negative of spoons for a while before recharging. Sadly, when I don't talk to someone for a while, even though I enjoy their company, it takes much more spoons, or energy in general, to reconnect. I always get nervous and flustered , usually holding off, but then the more time passes the harder it is to say hello again, until I eventually push myself to do it.

That felt important to explain somehow, I guess...

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 No.6672

File: e68ad90a623e623⋯.jpg (88.35 KB,611x841,611:841,644693_p0.jpg)

>>6670

Correction, there is always an unreachable limit to improvement. But you're right, there is always room for improvement on another levels of existence.

>get used to the taste before moving onto more bitter flavors.

It's not so much the taste, but rather the effect, I guess.

sips, frowns, bulges his eyes and tilts his head up to the right

>bananas

These things... They scare me. I still breathe fire from them even with 4x omeprazole pills.

>I had never considered that.

You really should have considered that.

>adhd

>I want to try l-theanine since its over the counter

If you will be performing Kazotsky Kick on a stool 24/7 after that, I am not responsible for it, write it down, okay?

About clonidine. It's not "for memory". And it's very dangerous. Don't mix it, I repeat, don't mix it with alcohol or H1-antihistamines. Or you'll fall asleep for a long time, and may even die (if high dosages). And be ready for blood pressure fluctuations.

>(probably spelt wrong)

(Yes.)

>It is important to care for them both I suppose, not just one

Right. Keep it that way, and maybe you'll realize something very important, I guess.

>I want to keep improving here as well, hopefully my books help improve

Hopefully soon....

>spoiler

I'm glad.

>Maybe I should think of one for Sou next.

I agree. DO IT HEATHEN ^ ^

>And the theory isn't all covering or perfect for everyone

As I have already said in a way, I guess.

>your analogy of forks

Wait... Hang on a sec. Listen. Imagine Sakuya but with forks instead of knives. Heh. Hehehehehehehehehehehe~

>That felt important to explain somehow, I guess...

I see. ^ ^

In fact, these things are a bit more complicated, it's not about spoons or emotional energy, but about basic psychology. And I'm sure you know that yourself.

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 No.6674

File: 3b46b26e6f966eb⋯.jpg (78.93 KB,604x550,302:275,3b46b26e6f966eb06243c97b36….jpg)

>>6672

>It's not so much the taste, but rather the effect, I guess.

I suppose I hadn't considered that either. Good to keep in mind.

>These things... They scare me. I still breathe fire from them even with 4x omeprazole pills.

They are horrible yellow devils. only good as banana bread.

>If you will be performing Kazotsky Kick on a stool 24/7 after that, I am not responsible for it, write it down, okay?

I have no plans for it ><

>About clonidine. It's not "for memory". And it's very dangerous. Don't mix it, I repeat, don't mix it with alcohol or H1-antihistamines.

H1 antihistamines? What is the h1 specifically?

And yes, I know. it is prescribed for my adhd not my memory in particular. Are H1 antagonist s okay?

>Right. Keep it that way, and maybe you'll realize something very important, I guess.

Hmmm, I wonder what, I will have to keep that in mind.

>Spoiler

hehehe, I will think of what I can on my next work shift.

>Sakuya instead of knives

Now I am picturing Sakuya serving hundreds of pancakes, replace her pocketwatch with pitcher of syrup ehehehehe

Now I am going to have some pancakes

>Last spoiler

Yes, just sometimes these analogies make it easier to communicate some of this stuff, I guess. I'll at some point figure out why I have such a hard time reconnecting when im away for a bit, if i keep paying attention to my mind and how it works

Speaking of pancakes instead of bananas, what food do you enjoy? Do you still enjoy any? I love strawberries, and yakult, and apollo chocolates.

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 No.6675

File: 1a0c81608edc1c7⋯.png (8.36 KB,94x99,94:99,2020_05_20_19_07_52_Rozen_….png)

I'm out of pancakes ~desu

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 No.6676

File: a6f64cf0b72d83d⋯.png (773.04 KB,900x900,1:1,6874840_p0.png)

>>6674

>I have no plans for it ><

In that case, be extra careful.

>What is the h1 specifically?

It's a type of a histamine receptor. Histamine1. There are also H2, H3 and H4 histamine receptors.

>Are H1 antagonist s okay?

H1-antihistamines = H1 antagonists.

I wonder, wasn't there anything better than clonidine? Nasty drug.

>I will think of what I can on my next work shift.

Okay, I'll wait for that.

>Sakuya serving hundreds of pancakes

Ugh, I'm getting sick... Forks are better, I guess...

Bon appetite, I guess.

>what food do you enjoy? Do you still enjoy any?

Well... I can't really enjoy food because of anhedonia. However, my... Other part likes cakes and strawberries, for example. But now we can't enjoy any food because of pancreatitis. Everything causes nausea and pain. I can "enjoy" tea, coffee, water and various drugs and supplements, I guess.

I could say I'm a little envious of you, but not really. Even getting rid of the pancreatitis and the gastric ulcer will return me the ability to eat normally, but won't bring back the pleasure and motivation to eat.

>>6675

Then make some more!

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 No.6677

File: 79e8458aefc0255⋯.jpg (1.08 MB,1280x1024,5:4,79e8458aefc0255abdcb018888….jpg)

>>6676

>I wonder, wasn't there anything better than clonidine? Nasty drug.

Well, it is better than adderall, I despise it, never want to go back on it ever again.

>spoiler

don't worry, she's serving the whole mansion.

>anhedonia

Oh dear. That must be difficult.

>Even getting rid of the pancreatitis and the gastric ulcer will return me the ability to eat normally, but won't bring back the pleasure and motivation to eat.

Do you have plans to get rid of the pancreatitis and ulcer? That must be extremely frustrating.. I hope you can recover soon! I don't know much about anhedonia, but is there any hope of recovery or managing it?

>Then make some more!

Went and bought some and made some, now I am all full of pancakes before bed. Oyasumi~

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 No.6678

File: dd97afab6e9481e⋯.jpg (598.67 KB,2713x1901,2713:1901,84949425_p1.jpg)

>>6677

>Well, it is better than adderall, I despise it

>don't worry, she's serving the whole mansion.

Ah, okay, I see...

>Do you have plans to get rid of the pancreatitis and ulcer?

I do. But it requires time, money, and energy. Unfortunately, I have problems with the last two requirements. And I also have some more serious problems, I guess.

>I hope you can recover soon!

Me too. Me too...

>I don't know much about anhedonia, but is there any hope of recovery or managing it?

Inability to experience pleasure. Just a symptom of my illness, one of many "negative symptoms", and of course it's progressing and getting worse, like everything else. Psychiatrists and psychologists tried to help me for years, but it only made things worse. In the end, I just completely refused treatment. I haven't tried electroshock though, but I don't want to. I'm just tired. Too tired. I can't take it anymore. I just need some rest. I just want to wake up. To wake up...

>Went and bought some and made some, now I am all full of pancakes before bed.

^ ^

Enough about me, okay? How are you?

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 No.6681

File: 79efa5dfb69084e⋯.png (76.63 KB,337x337,1:1,79efa5dfb69084e55ef6846594….png)

>>6678

>I do. But it requires time, money, and energy. Unfortunately, I have problems with the last two requirements. And I also have some more serious problems, I guess.

Hey plans are still a step, even tiny steps are still steps, keep at it. Ganbatte!

>I just completely refused treatment. I haven't tried electroshock though, but I don't want to. I'm just tired. Too tired. I can't take it anymore.

Oh dear. Shock, might be worth the try? Man, I wish I had the time and money to go back to school to learn about the brain to try and help with these things, both my own conditions and others. The brain is such a strange tool, it is very powerful and capable, but can also do a lot of harm.

But you are right, enough about that.

I am... okay-ish.

Anxiety is still high, but that is normal in a new job. Driving plus anxiety is not a good combination, but i'm now in a position where I don't have to wear a mask all hours of the day and answer stupid questions all day. Masks are fine, but wearing one for 8 hours has a toll. It dries out all the air coming it to my mouth, leaving me dry and sore, and does not mesh well with my asthma. So I am glad to be free of wearing them for 8 hours a day. I also get to be by myself, just me, myself, and music or audiobooks. Today I listened to the odyssey, narrated by Ian McKellen. It's really quite good, though I feel like I started and stopped it once before, it feels very familiar.

I have less time to sit down and read so I may start listening to emotional intelligence instead.

Other than that I have just been just relaxing and watching anime to wind down at night, and posting here. I have been enjoying Zeta Gundam very much. Have you ever watched any gundam series, or even, built gunpla? My energy has not been high enough after work for building, so I have a backlog of model kits to build. Practicing these model kits, I feel more like I may be able to eventually try Suiseiseki garage kits, eventually, once I learn to airbrush.

Oh, I also came up with another tongue twister.

Sou snipped sapping saltgrass that stole sunshine from the sunflowers.

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 No.6683

File: 79c5b3f3f5df956⋯.jpg (138.96 KB,1200x900,4:3,79c5b3f3f5df9561f710320d75….jpg)

I started dreaming again! I don't know why, but I've had a dream every night for the last few nights. It really is surprising. I wonder if its a good sign?

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 No.6684

I'm tired... I'll reply a bit later.

Don't worry. ~desu

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 No.6686

File: 14480995d03b015⋯.png (156.4 KB,571x236,571:236,2020_08_29_18_46_47_0036_0….png)

>>6684

>>6684

Its okay, no rush, take your time ~desu

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 No.6687

File: 62987215105248e⋯.jpg (85.83 KB,1000x1000,1:1,62987215105248ea6d0c69ab2b….jpg)

I hope you have been doing okay, and the psychosis hasn't been to bad. Don't trouble yourself if posting is too much for you right now, that's okay, but I wanted to stop by and say hello, and that I am doing well, and that the l-theanine seems to be helping too. Its still early, second time taking it today, but I think it will help, from the little time i've been taking it.

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 No.6688

File: ec7b605daf693b6⋯.jpg (3.08 MB,1378x2039,1378:2039,85049997_p0.jpg)

>>6681

Microscopic "steps" into nowhere. ^ ^ Thank you.

>Shock, might be worth the try?

I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to explain everything in detail, so:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroconvulsive_therapy

Rather the opposite, I have too much energy and thoughts at the moment, it would have been a very long and hard to read, I guess.

They suggested it to me in all seriousness, but I declined, saying that I wasn't ready yet or something like that. At least with this, I have the chance to go and erase myself completely if anything happens. Or at least just our memory.

>The brain is such a strange tool

It is, it is. And we don't know much about it. In fact, we don't know anything at all. Anatomy, structure, cell types, evolution, general functions of its parts, signal transmission, neurotransmitter pathways and receptor proteins, approximate number of neurons and connections (synapses)... And? "We don’t even understand the brain of a worm." (c)

The worm that houses 302 neurons and 7000 connections between those neurons in its body. Not ~86 billion neurons and an estimated 100 trillion connections. Human brain, yes.

What is consciousness? Who am I? What am I? Who are we? Where are we? Don't make me laugh. But seriously, though, I could talk about some... Extraordinary theories to say the least, but I somehow feel that this conversation would be pointless. No, no mysticism, systemspaces or "immortal souls", but I guess this will sound even more, um, unbelievable and mind-blowing, no pun intended. I won't say anything, but if you want to, you can find some clues to it on this board by yourself. No, not in off-topic threads.

>Masks are fine, but wearing one for 8 hours has a toll.

Why don't you use a respirator or a half-mask then? Or you can go full desufag and come to work wearing a full face gas mask with anti-aerosol filter inserted. Some comfy and lame panoramic view aquarium or real PROTIVOGAZ with menacing red-green glowing glasses and creepy breathing sounds. No, forget the glow, it hurts the eyes. But it's very impressive, I guarantee it. And don't forget to remake your dress into an anti-plague suit. Just combine the two, glue the outside of the suit with parts of the dress, if you have a spare one, of course. No instant glue!!! Don't try to just wear a dress over a suit, it will be very heavy, and I don't think the dress will fit at all.

I'm sorry, hehe. ^ ^;

>Today I listened to the odyssey

>it feels very familiar.

Are you sure?

>I have less time to sit down and read

Don't forget that you are much more likely to understand and remember by reading than by listening.

>I have been enjoying Zeta Gundam very much.

Your watch order, please, if you don't mind.

>Have you ever watched any gundam series

Of course I did.

>or even, built gunpla?

No, unfortunately. But I built German panzers, Enterprises, Star Destroyers, and naval warships, hehe.

>I have a backlog of model kits to build.

Same.

>Suiseiseki garage kits

It's a lot more delicate work than gunpla, you know, even the cheapest Chinese ones. But I really appreciate your goal. ~desu

>Sou snipped sapping saltgrass that stole sunshine from the sunflowers.

Ahh, very nice, hehe. And now about both of Them! ≧◡≦

>>6683

Most fascinating.

What did you consume before going to bed? What were you thinking before you went to bed? How did you feel before you went to sleep? Did you feel someone before you fell asleep? Did you feel being watched in the dream world?

What did you dream about? Where were you? What did you see?

I'm sure you don't remember anything, but I'm still interested. What if you still could... No, no way, nevermind.

>>6687

I'm "fine" right now, in a way. The manic state has fired, taking away some of the apathy and asthenia, as you can see. I don't know how long it will last until burnout, breakdown and depression, returning to the usual state, but it doesn't really matter, I guess. I've been waiting for this moment to reply to you. I'm a bit tired of sleeping, waking up and sitting all night while looking at the dot on the wall, sleeping, waking up, drugging myself up and playing Puella Ingeniarius Madoka Mechanica, I mean Factorio with a couple hundred mods, hehe, the boredom is huge, I guess, and then sleeping again. The illness is draining our willpower more and more, advancing its own will and dictating its terms, and it's getting exponentially harder to fight it. I wonder when we'll finally lose. But no, that's not going to happen. Only over my dead body. Over our dead bodies.

Ah, okay, enough already.

>I am doing well

I'm glad.

>the l-theanine seems to be helping too.

Oh, really? How so? What do you feel?

...

Was it you who should have listened to something a while ago? Ah, I guess not, not possible, nevermind. I keep confusing you with someone else. It really irritates me.

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Post last edited at

 No.6690

File: 62a8f6953e53fc8⋯.jpg (1.42 MB,2814x3177,938:1059,62a8f6953e53fc8b5cf7288839….jpg)

>>6688

>Reads the synopsis

Ooooooh, this makes a lot of sense with my chapters I read today, especially it being electrocution of the frontal lobes. The way 'Emotional Intelligence' framed it was the right side of the frontal lobe processes and creates much of our emotions while the left side regulates it, if I was understanding right, so shocking one side or both to try to trigger them into working properly again, i suppose that makes sense.

Ah, are you afraid it might do something to your other half? That would be a scary thought

Erase yourself, or your memory? I don't understand but am curious. And wont your memory exist in others for as long as they live, even if its only a fraction of you?

Worms have that complex a brain?! Woah. And I'm only just taking my first baby steps into understanding it. The neorocortex, prefontal lobes, the hypothalamus, the hippocampus (This must be where I have problems with memory eh?), brain stem, and amygdala. I had to cheat and look up a map of the brain for a couple but I actually remembered most of those! I think I need to relisten to the last chapter I heard but a lot of stuff is staying with me a lot better since taking l-theanine.

I love extraordinary theories. But I can be a little dense at times, and miss obvious stuff even when its right in front of me. But what you are saying makes me think of Serial Experiments Lain, and collective consciousness. I still need to read Jungs works directly, but Ive been taught some of it at a young age.

>Respirator or half mask

Half mask? What do you mean? I suppose a respirator could be tried but aren't they noisy? So far the best bet is my 3d printed gundam rx-78 mask, but it can be more cumbersome to take on and off, and makes me hard to understand, my previous work involving me talking to people more often than I'd like during this pandemic it didn't work so well. Though I am starting to realize its likely just making an underlying issue worse. I saw my doctor today and they referred me to an ear nose and throat specialist to help see whats going on. Even when not wearing a mask all day my mouth is still dry, better than when I had to wear it all the time, but still not great.

>Or you can go full desufag and come to work wearing a full face gas mask with anti-aerosol filter inserted. Some comfy and lame panoramic view aquarium or real PROTIVOGAZ with menacing red-green glowing glasses and creepy breathing sounds.

Ahha, tempting, but the same issue is run into with my 3d printed mask. But I did once wear a full S.T.A.L.K.E.R. uniform, gas mask and all, just for a convention ticket line, nothing else ahha. I nearly passed out from heat but I did not have to suffer the smell of the line, so it worked out.

Oh that is not a terrible idea, no spare dress at the moment unfortunately. Maybe I will spend some time sewing this weekend and get better at it, continue moving towards the dream of sewing my own desu dress, and now I can add a hazmat dress to the list ehehehe

>Are you sure?

It is an audiobook thats been on my hard drive a long time, maybe I started it once before.

>Don't forget that you are much more likely to understand and remember by reading than by listening.

Hmmm, maybe I should do both, especially with emotional intelligence, as its pretty important. I have read and listened to most of the chapters now, just catching up to where I was in reading with listening, and I remember things well, so that is a good idea, I think.

>No, unfortunately. But I built German panzers, Enterprises, Star Destroyers, and naval warships, hehe.

Ohh those sound cool as well. Panzers would be especially fun making a diorama for. I have seen some naval warships, and they scare me, so many little details, and RIGGING.

>It's a lot more delicate work than gunpla, you know, even the cheapest Chinese ones. But I really appreciate your goal. ~desu

I know, I am still a long ways off, and want to learn to spraypaint and hand paint before i'm at this level, but it is an attainable goal nonetheless.

>What did you consume before going to bed? What were you thinking before you went to bed? How did you feel before you went to sleep? Did you feel someone before you fell asleep? Did you feel being watched in the dream world?

I take my nighttime meds as usual, but also have been eating more dark chocolate. I guess I don't feel anything directly, but with how often i've dreamt my first conclusion was that I am being watched over in my sleep.

My dreams have been all over the place, I... don't think I saw anything major, or maybe I did and forgot... hmmm, now i'm not sure, what was a dream and what was a daydream.

I am still waiting to see her in my dreams, it has yet to happen. But I will wait patiently until she graces me in my dreams

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 No.6691

File: 62a7b517ee0c40c⋯.jpg (113.16 KB,700x450,14:9,62a7b517ee0c40cef3272bb9cf….jpg)

>>6688

I am glad you are okay right now, for at least a little bit. I hope it lasts a little longer this time, for your sake. But I will remain here even when you have to step away.

I have not played the madoka gatcha game, but am myself suckered into fatego of course. Also prepping for the upcoming rozen maiden crossover with sinoalice. I haven't played factorio, well, I have it, but haven't started it, maybe I should soon. Ive also been playing yakuza and blood, a lot.

>I wonder when we'll finally lose. But no, that's not going to happen. Only over my dead body. Over our dead bodies.

Never give up! Fight with every bit of energy your body has, like simon, or shirou. You can believe in the me who believes in you too if that helps

>Oh, really? How so? What do you feel?

My memory is much better, and I feel more focused. Like my brain is remembering little things better and better, i'm even remembering things like little numbers and addresses throughout my day, where before I absolutely would forget the number the second my eyes left it. Its little things i wouldn't even notice if I weren't looking, but when I look its a big impact.

>Was it you who should have listened to something a while ago? Ah, I guess not, not possible, nevermind.

Eh, im not sure? Possibly? I am the forgetful sort still. Someone else? Who? Could we be the same person after all?

Also snow came early here already, yesterday was a blizzard! Normally I would enjoy and love it, but I was working and driving through it, curses. Today was much more friendly and peaceful, snow on the ground but clear roads.

You say your posts are too long but I hit the text limit eheheh

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 No.6692

*pop*

wait I don't get it, how can you talk to him, are you freaking nuts? have you even read this thread mate? wanna get some links to remember who he really is, what kind of "desufag" he is?

someone else ehe-he? does the word delta mean anything to you? I can remind if ya want.

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 No.6693

File: c5bdb5006024116⋯.png (4.52 MB,2480x3508,620:877,82721072_p0.png)

First snow. Finally...

>>6690

Eh... Something like that, yeah.

>spoiler 1

A very unpleasant and undesirable thought. But I came to think that in a desperate situation, death would be a more pleasant and rational option.

>spoiler 2

Erase myself, or to be realistic, my memory, that's right. To be more precise, our memory. If you're talking about other people, then no, each brain has its own memory. Separation of memory between personalities and sharing it within the same brain is another matter.

>Worms have that complex a brain?!

If you could call it a brain - yes.

>but I actually remembered most of those!

Hehe, that's really nice. But didn't they teach you this at school?

>Serial Experiments Lain, and collective consciousness.

That's close enough, hehe.

>Half mask? What do you mean?

A respirator that cover the nose and mouth, designed for use with bayonet style or threaded cartridges and filters. 3M 6000 series with a pair of 6038 P3 R bayonet anti-aerosol filter cartridges, for example. You could just google it, I guess.

>but aren't they noisy?

Noisy? What do you mean?

>my 3d printed gundam rx-78 mask

3d printed... Mask? Um, and what type of protection does it have? Acid gases, organic vapours, solid and liquid particles? Up to how many ppm? Is it at least airtight?.. Do you use safety goggles? I thought so...

>spoiler 4

Hehe. It's not going to be easy though, especially if you want to create something better than your... Rags. I don't know how to call it. Eh... I'm sorry. > <

>maybe I started it once before.

Ah, makes sense,

>so that is a good idea, I think.

Well, it's up to you, okay, if you think so...

>Panzers would be especially fun making a diorama for.

I guess so.

>so many little details, and RIGGING.

Hehehe, I know, I know. It's even more difficult to do in a gas mask. Why gas mask? I once sat right next to a spilled glue for more than twelve hours while building, and was severely poisoned after that. And it didn't feel good. So, you got it, I guess.

>My dreams have been all over the place

Did you feel the presence of cold/loneliness/sorrow and misery? Maybe you've seen something that looks like gray concrete ruins and huge dead apartment buildings, all covered with rust, dirt and tons of snow? Snow, snow everywhere you look. Or dust, ash, and broken glass under your feet? An empty snow-covered concrete city with a giant skyscraper in the center? A bar in this city? Gas masks? A bloody "river" between rusty concrete walls with human hand-like patterns? The void and pressure, like at the bottom of an empty black ocean? Darkness and glowing amber and violet stones with an infinitely distant titanic metropolis with amber lights on the horizon? A strange dense green forest with a flower field behind it somewhere? Pain and wounds? Anything?..

>spoiler 5

Only if you deserve to see and remember Her grace in your dreams. You really should think about it sometime. But we'll see about that, I guess.

>>6691

It didn't last long. I feel like I have a bad hangover with hallucinations...

>the madoka gatcha game

Madoka what... Ah. I guess I'm a little behind the times.

>upcoming rozen maiden crossover with sinoalice

Interesting.

>maybe I should soon.

You will regret it, I guess. ^ ^

But maybe it would be good for your brain "training".

>spoiler 1

My body doesn't have the energy for it. The body has nothing to do with it at all, it's just a carrier, a host. But thank you, I really appreciate it...

Speaking about it, hehe. I wish this body was just a flying drone with a lot of tools, manipulators and tentacles, without needs and unnecessary feelings. And with a minigun.

>but when I look its a big impact.

I'm so glad, really!

>spoiler 2

Nah, I don't think so.

>spoiler 3

Ah, lucky you. My snow has already melted. I hope there will be more today. Or tomorrow.

>spoiler 4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQLADRNBItw

>>6692

Believe me, I know enough about him and perfectly aware. I'm sure I know even more than you do, so calm down and don't worry. Let's not make a scene, okay? I'm tired, and I'm tired of repeating these words.

>does the word delta mean anything to you?

Perhaps.

>I can remind if ya want.

No need. I'll remember everything myself if I'll have to, I guess.

If that is not enough for you and you want a word from me, I will be right happy to. Do not interfere.

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 No.6695

>>6693

what.

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 No.6696

File: 621df112e32edfc⋯.png (1.62 MB,900x1200,3:4,621df112e32edfc76bcf434cce….png)

>>6693

>First snow. Finally...

Ohh, you have had first snow too?! Amazing timing ehehe

>spoiler 1

Indeed, death would be preferred. If only there were a way to help the brain but not risk your other halfs wellbeing

>spoiler 2

ah I think I understand now. I suppose erasing certain memories, that is a powerful tool.

>Hehe, that's really nice. But didn't they teach you this at school?

I spent much of my time in high school focusing on social relationships instead of studying. I forgot much of my schooling but the improvements I made to my social skills were well worth the trade off. I'm still subpar at it, but leaps and bounds better than I was during elementary.

>A respirator that cover the nose and mouth, designed for use with bayonet style or threaded cartridges and filters.

Ah, this is actually the type of mask I used once ehehe. But sadly I cannot find it.

>Noisy? What do you mean?

My mistake, I misunderstood.

>3d printed... Mask?

https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4360923

I trimmed it down on the sides a bit though.

If I put in a filter it can be protective, but the true secret is, it really has no protection other than being a cough shield ehehe, but it does not fog vision or cause as much breathing trouble. It is 100% a comfort over protection mask. But, probably still better than a cloth mask in all reality.

Sadly even that one causes issues, I think masks are bringing to the surface other medical conditions i've just learned to live with in normal circumstances, but are now next to unbearable. I can barely breath in most masks, despite the fact that I LIKE masks in concept a lot. Well, hopefully the ear nose and throat specialist can figure it out.

>rags

Oof, come now, its not that bad ;~;

I have one Sui dress that is chinese sourced, but it still doesn't look that aweful, and my other sewing projects are quite nice.

And probably getting help designing a pattern from my instructor will be the way to go, she is good at making patterns from scratch.

Oooh, a fun idea, I could use that pattern to make her white dress from the manga ending art as well.

Is it really true other desufags own Suiseiseki dresses as well? Do you have one? I always suspected I wasn't alone eheheh

>even more difficult in a gas mask

Ahhh that sounds painful! I am glad there is no glue involved in gunpla, other than occasional parts tightening.

>Did you feel the presence of cold/loneliness/sorrow and misery?

No, nothing like that. Maybe someday I can join you in the dream. For now, just strange dreams I quickly forget. I cannot remember my dream I had last night already, other than it being strange and not being sure what was dream and reality from the night before.

>Only if you deserve to see and remember Her grace in your dreams.

I must have some ways to go, but I may achieve it eventually, I hope

>Madoka what...

Oh now I see, I thought Puella Ingeniarius Madoka Mechanica was the name of the madoka gatcha game, silly me. Now I understand, thats the mod name right?

>You will regret it, I guess. ^ ^

>But maybe it would be good for your brain "training".

Oh? Why would I regret it? Just a big time sink? Thats okay as long as i'm having fun!

And why would it be good for my brain training?

>Ah, lucky you. My snow has already melted. I hope there will be more today. Or tomorrow.

Ah hopefully it comes back soon! Mine is still here, even though it rained instead of snowed yesterday. Guess its going to be a snowy Halloween ehehe

>Video

lol

I suppose there is some truth to >>6692 I have been less than, uh, I don't know how to say it, emotionally healthy? in the past, if I say or do anything uncouth please plainly explain and correct me okay? Don't worry, i'm not upset. My emotions are in much better check than they were

But enough of that, I hope the snow comes again soon, and we pass the season of slush.

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 No.6698

File: f9e0863b567477e⋯.jpg (1.6 MB,5250x3200,105:64,85105350_p0.jpg)

File: a71e01b2cc603ad⋯.jpg (585.71 KB,1000x760,25:19,snow.jpg)

Argh, not that shit again. I almost replied, but fell asleep... Twice. Too much tranquilizers, I guess.

>>6696

Yeah, hehe.

>spoiler 1

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>spoiler 2

Not quite certain memories, more like carpet-bombing everything.

>improvements I made to my social skills were well worth the trade off.

Are you really sure about that?

>But sadly I cannot find it.

How could you lose it in your... I mean, where did you lose it then?

>It is 100% a comfort over protection mask.

Okay, but, um, what's the point of it then, aside of it being "a cough shield"?

>But, probably still better than a cloth mask in all reality.

Hm... Maybe, but your mask is directly ventilated, I guess; doesn't have any filters, even the placebo ones, and not airtight (but cloth masks aren't airtight either, so it doesn't count, I guess). So...

>hopefully the ear nose and throat specialist can figure it out.

I hope so too, I guess.

>Oof, come now, its not that bad

>but it still doesn't look that aweful

Hmmmmmmm... ^ ^;

>I could use that pattern to make her white dress from the manga ending art as well.

A fun idea indeed. But I would recommend making it for your doll, not for your body.

>spoiler 4

Sure, I knew a bunch of others. And yes, of course I do.

>>582

But the photo features a new and unfinished piece at that point in time, although in a complete set. And this is what I call a bad work, and I'm ashamed of this picture. I could at least finish the sleeves and replace the placeholder ribbons before doing this. But those fags... Hmm, I don't remember what they posted, but I guess it was their shit-eating faces, I guess. That's logical. Therefore the photo. I was trying to set a good example for them, I guess! If you want to show your power level, then do it properly, even if it sounds so stupid! If you're into camwhoring your miserable assface or any other flesh abomination, then go back to your shitsite cesspool! そうそうですぅぅ~♪!

>there is no glue involved in gunpla

Eeeh, maji?! Easy modo?! Kimoi~!

>No, nothing like that.

Ah, okay... Maybe it's for the best.

>spoiler 5

>spoiler 6

We'll see.

>thats the mod name right?

Nope, that's what I call my modpack. For a reason, hehe. It's fucking hell full of despair.

>Thats okay as long as i'm having fun!

Good.

>And why would it be good for my brain training?

You'll figure that out yourself in the process, I guess.

>spoiler 7

It came back. Pic related. (After-sleep addition: it's still here, hehe.)

>spoiler 8

Don't worry. I do not care. If I wanted to, you would have flown out of here on sight like a baseball just for the events of 2015-2016. Just don't break the rules again, okay? All right then! ^ ^

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Post last edited at

 No.6699

File: acf1791b22bda9f⋯.jpg (50.1 KB,520x710,52:71,acf1791b22bda9fd16bcddb3a3….jpg)

>>6698

>Are you really sure about that?

Yes, if I had not done so I would be far worse of, for certain. It was definitely a double edged sword, but I think damage was lesser this way

>How could you lose it in your... I mean, where did you lose it then?

No idea, maybe its buried in a box somewhere, or I left it at a convention.

>Okay, but, um, what's the point of it then, aside of it being "a cough shield"?

Being a coughshield is really all it is indeed, but local regulations and work policies require them now, so I have no real choice, I have to have some sort of mask.

>Hmmmmmmm... ^ ^;

Ooooh, do I need to get it out now, I haven't touched it in so long though, perhaps this time I can add a proper petty coat though, give it more floof

>A fun idea indeed. But I would recommend making it for your doll, not for your body.

That is a good idea as well, I have yet to sew anything for her but I really need to.

>spoiler 3

Ah! I knew I wasn't alone, I am glad! Ehehehehe.

>Spoiler 4

Awww, but it would be nice to see. I am probably the one who needs good examples set after all. Who cares about some annoying people trying to poke fun, whats really important is your enjoyment

>Eeeh, maji?! Easy modo?! Kimoi~!

*explodes and drops 点 everyhwere*

>Nope, that's what I call my modpack. For a reason, hehe.

Oh I see. I did start playing it, and boy it looks addicting, but fun, definitely a challenging game of managing resources. I think I like it.

>pic related

やた!きれい。

>Last spoiler

Y-yes, I will be sure to.

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 No.6700

File: e47f6254e7e466c⋯.png (75.55 KB,300x410,30:41,4828504_p1.png)

>>6699

Hm. Well, if you say so...

>No idea

It's a shame, I guess.

>I have to have some sort of mask.

But it's not safe, you should find a respirator, but first deal with your health as soon as possible.

I recently made the stupidest mistake, I took off my respirator and goggles to look at the expiration date on the goods and, forgetting to put it back on, went to the checkout. Now, in the last couple of days, I realized that I was infected with the flu, my mortal enemy. The usual critical luck failure of mine, I guess. It's a very painful experience and it's very difficult to struggle with my current condition, but I have no one to blame but myself. Given my year-long isolation and complete lack of contact with viral infections, I can conclude that my immune system has completely lost its function against new mutated viral strains. So it's possible that this might be just a rhinovirus/coronavirus infection, i.e. a common cold, but in its EX Stage version. But I'm not sure if it's capable of such tremendous headache, and the symptoms are very typical of the flu, so, no, unfortunately. Well... I got off easy, I guess. Not counting that I always suffer badly from the flu, of course.

Don't be like me.

>do I need to get it out now

I doubt you've changed anything in it. What have I not seen yet?

>I have yet to sew anything for her but I really need to.

Don't forget to show it to me if you make something.

>Ah! I knew I wasn't alone, I am glad!

Tell me, why did you think you were alone again, eh? ¬ ¬

>spoiler 2

What? The picture is in the thread I linked, what are you talking about? I even put an arrow next to it!

>*explodes and drops 点 everyhwere*

grabs a [P]

>I think I like it.

Hehe, I'm glad.

>やた!きれい。

It's still snowing. Feels so... Good, I guess...

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 No.6701

File: 3db6bdb51d6f4b8⋯.png (276 KB,600x800,3:4,3db6bdb51d6f4b87131f0594e9….png)

>>6700

>>6700

>spoiler

Oh no! Please do take it easy, get lots of rest, drink some soup maybe? Do everything you can and you should pull through. But oh dear that sounds painful.

This reminds me to get my flu shots asap, I will have to schedule doing them at the end of this week

Thankfully my immune system is otherwise pretty strong. I suspect I had and carried covid symptoms, but was okay. And I have inhalers, an albuterizer, and a cpap machine. Lots of breathing equipment if I do get sick at all. As well as being distanced from people in my work, I spend all day alone now, which is nice. But I will remember to get that flu shot!

Is it common to wear goggles there? Thats a step next to nobody takes here.

>I doubt you've changed anything in it. What have I not seen yet?

Oh I suppose so... but the excuse to wear it again might be nice. My hair is a LOT longer now too, I can use natural hair, going all out and doing it properly... if taking pictures from behind, I would need extensions.

>Don't forget to show it to me if you make something.

Have you seen the recent things I bought her? Like the big floofy wedding dress? Or the chinese dress? I bought several things, but I will have to set aside time to MAKE some things too. Maybe a mini mask to keep her healthy ehehe. I also desperately need to start building her sister.

>Tell me, why did you think you were alone again, eh? ¬ ¬

>spoiler 2

oh derp, sorry, I did not look closely enough at the thread! Impressive, very nice! The dress looks very good and the gas mask is awesome. I wish I had such a mask. Perhaps I can put something together of my own mask, but hmmm, what to do...another gas mask, a green and red veil or cloth mask in red and green perhaps? A full sized 3d printed mask of some sort, hmmm, should it only be gasmasks? I can also envision a veil of sorts that looks like Sui's corset on the top, and trails down with skirting on the bottom. It could be neat.

Now I am remembering goggles I once had, half green half red lenses, I wonder if they are still around somewhere, buried in my things. Hmmmm...

>It's still snowing. Feels so... Good, I guess...

Ah, see, there are some things that make you feel good at least, even if only a little bit. I'm glad.

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 No.6702

File: 453af17d27cffb6⋯.png (287.62 KB,451x640,451:640,4279726_p1.png)

File: 1d7e1286d869443⋯.jpg (74.59 KB,600x600,1:1,goggles.jpg)

>>6701

>spoiler 1

I've been wishing for a rest for a long time, hehe, but it's not the time yet, I guess. ^ ^ ...But don't worry, I know what you mean, I just... Nevermind.

Soup? Nah, my stomach can't stand it, and I have nothing to make it out of. Glucose-laced water will be enough for me. I can handle it, I guess. Not the first time after all.

>spoiler 3

Good for you, I guess.

>Is it common to wear goggles there?

Not really. It's just me and the medics, I guess. In any case, I didn't see anyone else looking like this, probably because of the isolation.

>the excuse to wear it again might be nice.

sighs

Well, if you want to make everyone here laugh, go ahead, I won't mind, I guess.

>Have you seen the recent things I bought her?

Yes.

>Maybe a mini mask to keep her healthy ehehe.

Hehe.

>spoiler 4

Oh, but doesn't she already have a "sister"? Or am I wrong?

>spoiler 5

Thanks. Mask? You can't do something like that yourself. Can't you just buy a PMK-2 military gas mask or its civilian version GP-7VM over here?

>spoiler 6

It would look too silly, I guess. And I mean it.

>spoiler 7

You mean like these? Pic related. But how could you lose them, instead of always wearing them, tsk tsk tsk...

You quoted me, but you still haven't told me. ¬ ¬ </¬ ¬\> ┛¬ ¬┗

>there are some things that make you feel good at least, even if only a little bit.

Perhaps...

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 No.6703

File: a65ed179954bbd6⋯.jpg (128.67 KB,896x672,4:3,a65ed179954bbd6597ba6fd2f8….jpg)

>>6702

>desu ex goggles

I DID ask for this, very nice

>Spoiler 1

Okay, if that will help. Pull through again as you have before okay?

>Just me and the medics

Ooooh, now I think I see.

>Well, if you want to make everyone here laugh, go ahead, I won't mind, I guess.

Ehhhh, but you wore it too right? Why would you laugh? Or do you only mean the onlookers.

>Yes.

What did you think, cute no?

>Spoiler 4

No not yet, I have one torso for her true sister. She does have a friend now though, so she's not all alone, which makes me happy. But no Souseiseki just yet.

>spoiler 5

I suppose I could, but I am also short on money. I suppose I could look to see if I can find one but they usually go for expensive prices now, especially because of the virus, so its not really worth it right now. Though I could probably excuse a proper 3m halfgas mask. A full gasmask is a bit much for average society use but a half mask is fine, then I could pair with some goggles

>spoiler 6

Ahhh, okay. Though one day if I learn electricity and lighting I want to make a working raiden mask that opens and closes though! That would look cool.

>Spoiler 7

Losing them in transit between a convention space and home most likely. This would have been in use probably 10 years ago, so I was still young and less careful.

>You quoted me, but you still haven't told me. ¬ ¬ </¬ ¬\> ┛¬ ¬┗

I don't really know why I made that assumptions. Truly. I had seen those pictures floating around but wasn't certain it was you before. I suppose I do know one Japanese person who does as well, but that only makes three of us I have talked to directly and confirmed has her dress, including myself.

Also what did you think of spoongin2?

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 No.6704

File: 61e157aa39471fd⋯.png (268.18 KB,550x600,11:12,85268449_p0.png)

>>6703

Hehe.

>Pull through again as you have before okay?

Don't worry, I will.

>Ooooh, now I think I see.

I see there is a lot of demand for them on local online marketplaces, so I am sure that I am not the only one buying, not counting low-rank medics.

>Ehhhh, but you wore it too right?

I wore my own, but not yours. Cough, cough. ^ ^

>What did you think, cute no?

Cute, I guess. But some had too much yellow/gold/beige for me. I just don't like soft and warm colors much, I guess. A habit of mine, I guess.

>spoiler 1

Ah, aha, I see, I see...

>spoiler 2

Okay. Don't forget to get the proper P3R filters for it. And it's better to get 3M goggles, preferably the acetate ones, they will go perfect with the 3M mask, especially if you prefer a balance of good protection and comfort, rather than something extraordinary or silly.

>Though one day if I learn electricity and lighting

You don't know anything about it/haven't had any experience?

>in transit between a convention space and home most likely.

A pity. They have always been one of the most valuable things to me.

>I had seen those pictures floating around but wasn't certain it was you

If you've seen them here, it's possible.

>but that only makes three of us

Don't make these assumptions based around yourself again. Part of my memory is blocked, and part is dissolving, but I remember that two of my former comrades had them, three more from other sites, if I recall correctly, a Pole, a Finn and a German, had them too, and there were also several others from 4chan and ruchans. I'm not even talking about the Japanese ones. Eh? Of course not, no cosplayers allowed.

>spoiler 3

Well, um, it's was funny, I guess? Give Yukiho a "thank you" from us. I guess the lurkers will agree.

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 No.6705

File: a6dfdedd70c0fbc⋯.png (114.21 KB,600x450,4:3,a6dfdedd70c0fbccb1d74ed681….png)

>>6704

>I wore my own, but not yours. Cough, cough. ^ ^

Ah, would it be better if I remade it from scratch you think?

>Cute, I guess. But some had too much yellow/gold/beige for me.

Oh ehehe, I like gold, but I found it funny one of the gold ones didnt fit, it was so cute.

>spoiler 3

I will. It's funny buying from 3M, when their hq is so close ehehe

>You don't know anything about it/haven't had any experience?

Well, just a little, and its been a long long time since I did wiring in class, and haven't kept up the skills at all. The latest thing I did was just basic plugging in of a battery, but I do plan to convert a little toy hovercraft into a switch on fan. It has powerful little propellers. I'm sure the skills wont be too hard to refresh or improve upon but i've had little time to do so.

>on't make these assumptions based around yourself again.

ごめなさい。That's just what I've seen, thats all, but it looks like I have a lot to learn yet. ooh, but cosplay is fun though

>spoiler 5

Ehhehehe, will do, and don't forget me too! The scans were mine for spoongin 2 after all ^ ^ I'm glad you enjoyed it, I found Sui using geass and ordering the others around to be adorable.

Right now aside from emotional intelligence, my next big learning project I want to work on is data science though. I may even go back to school for it when I have a better job to accommodate it.

Is it still snowy where you are by the way? Or did the snow already dry up? It ranges from area to area here, but its starting to melt by the looks of it and may warm up just for Halloween before cooling back down.

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 No.6706

File: e1ffa6717101623⋯.jpg (407.63 KB,1408x1617,128:147,85269632_p8.jpg)

>>6705

Absolutely. But only if you can make it better than these... Than your old one.

>one of the gold ones didnt fit

Yeah, I've seen it.

>It's funny buying from 3M, when their hq is so close

confused Lt. Commander Data's face

Funny? Why?

And isn't their hq in England?

>I did wiring in class, and haven't kept up the skills at all.

>The latest thing I did was just basic plugging in of a battery

>but I do plan to convert a little toy hovercraft into a switch on fan.

>I'm sure the skills wont be too hard to refresh or improve upon

I can't believe this story you're telling me, it's macabre!

Eh. Can't you just fix it somewhere and turn it on/off with the remote?

>spoiler 1

Professional cosplay and interesting group stage performances are fun. Being close to and touching the illusion of a "real" Rozen Maiden is an indescribable feeling. Especially if you worked and prepared for several months just for this moment, also being a different character from a completely different world. Not endless photo shoots, crowds, contests, no, just this moment. And then going outside during intermission to light a cig with Hanyuu, Lupin, and Kyon, answering to silly jokes about what it's like in the afterlife, and looking at the falling snow, while the restless Commissar repeats that the Emperor protects and aims his bolter at passers-by. Ah, the sweet nostalgia...

But trendy no effort abominations in 5-15 bucks chinese costumes aren't fun. Yeah, the crocodile-faced crossdressers too.

>spoiler 2

Thanks. And of course I'm not forgetting you. So, thank you too.

>my next big learning project I want to work on is data science

Oh, okay. I won't ask why or what you're going to do with that, so, good luck with that, I guess.

>Is it still snowy where you are by the way? Or did the snow already dry up?

Snow melted away and it rained for two days, everything was flooded with water and slush. But now it's snowing again, and everything is covered with snow as it was before, I guess.

>Halloween

Silly thing in my opinion. ^ ^

...

Ah. Daytime, huh? It's bright.

puts on welding goggles and looks out the window

Yeap, it's still snowing. As expected. ~desu

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 No.6707

File: ee93537b5066d75⋯.jpg (181.74 KB,1045x1200,209:240,85269632_p1.jpg)

Oh, not so bright anymore. It got dark quickly. Beautiful.

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 No.6708

File: 016a5399e80d924⋯.jpg (60.91 KB,493x676,493:676,016a5399e80d9242cf0cda6834….jpg)

>>6706

>spoiler 1

Of course, start with better materials alone will make it far superior.

>Funny? Why?

>3M HQ

No, its in Saint Paul Minnesota. And funny in a "heh, interesting" way not funny in a "haha" way I guess. It feels weird remembering 3M sells all over the world when theyre so close. Sometimes its easy to forget something so local is really not. Just, "interesting" funny i guess.

It is nice seeing their building lit up in winter though. https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2515/4229618159_57b6266479_b.jpg

They are kindof assholes in hiring though, nobody without a bachelor or higher allowed for ANYTHING, such a pain

>I can't believe this story you're telling me, it's macabre!

Oh oh im sorry, I told it in a confusing way. The last thing I did was on my own. In school was more like wiring a lightswitch in a makeshift wall.

>Spoiler 2

No, I attempted this and it did not work. I bought it at a thrift shop, so it was broken from the start. It actually has enough programming to sense rotation normally, so I need to do a little more stripping to make it work with a single on off switch.

>Spoiler 3

Hmmm, its a tough thing, because here many ""professional"" cosplayers have teams of people make costumes for them and are only interested in pictures being taken of them, and being oggled, winning "contests' and getting "cosplay famous", so for me, a true fan who can only get a cheap chinese costume but truly loves a series and wants to talk to others who love it too is far superior to the most intricate costume made by someone with no love. But in that regard, making your own costume with love for the series is far far far superior, and the best way to do things.

>Commissar repeats that the Emperor protects and aims his bolter at passers by.

Deja-vu, I have seen almost the same thing... but maybe you are talking about something more... abstract... im unsure

>Oh, okay. I won't ask why or what you're going to do with that, so, good luck with that, I guess.

Get a better job mostly. I enjoy data, and working on data. Spreadsheets are amazing to me. But it seems nobody hires analysts at my level of skill, only far superior data scientists.

>Snow melted away and it rained for two days, everything was flooded with water and slush. But now it's snowing again, and everything is covered with snow as it was before, I guess.

Ahhh, here it has warmed up, the snow has gone, but the wind still bites. Hopefully the snow returns again, but gentler this time.

>Silly thing in my opinion. ^ ^

Perhaps, but even silly things can be fun.

I'm a bit too old for halloween though.

After halloween candy sales however, are for any age.

>>6707

The peaceful snow at night is a beautiful thing.

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 No.6709

File: 77d2a4bf541c556⋯.jpg (156.23 KB,550x550,1:1,3884993_p0.jpg)

File: d1bded089cc6694⋯.jpg (199.4 KB,700x600,7:6,loaf_trolley.jpg)

>>6708

That strange thing again. I guess I woke up right in the moment when you clicked reply.

>start with better materials alone will make it far superior.

I hope so.

>No, its in Saint Paul Minnesota

Huh? But my Talmud for their masks and goggles says otherwise... 3M Centre, Cain Road, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 8HT, UK. Maybe it's just a manufacturer branch, like the other ones in other countries, meh, I don't know.

>And funny in a "heh, interesting" way not funny in a "haha" way I guess.

I understand perfectly. I just thought it would make for a funny dialogue. But oh well.

>link

Indeed, really nice. It feels somewhat Soviet-esque, or it's just an old building, I guess. Isn't there a slogan written on the left side of the building? "Curiosity is just the beginning", or something like that. But doesn't matter, this is it for sure, "3M Corporate Headquarters". Yeah, I agree, pretty damn close.

>spoiler 1

Hehehe.

>Oh oh im sorry, I told it in a confusing way. (...)

Eh, honestly, this changes almost nothing. ^ ^

>No, I attempted this and it did not work.

>I need to do a little more stripping to make it work

Pic related...

>spoiler 2

I was talking about local conventions funded by the people participating in it, not those ""professional"" cosplayers with teams. A "true fan" who "truly loves a series" who can't even put a little bit of work, effort and love into the image of their beloved character is far superior? Sure, that's an interesting opinion.

I guess it's probably because these events have become part of pop culture for wide masses in US or something. And I'm done with this, let's move on.

>spoiler 3

Not really, he was running around muttering about the heretics, the Emperor, waving his bolter and bumping into the others for photos. He must have been concussed in a battle, I guess, hehe.

>Get a better job mostly.

Oh, best of luck to you then, I guess.

>I enjoy data, and working on data. Spreadsheets are amazing to me.

Data science, hm... Ah... Spreadsheets... Analysts at your level of skill... Aha. Hehe. Now I see, I guess.

>Hopefully the snow returns again

It will.

>Perhaps, but even silly things can be fun.

sighs

Perhaps...

>After halloween candy sales however, are for any age.

Oh you! ~desu

>The peaceful snow at night is a beautiful thing.

Indeed it is.

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 No.6712

File: a57acddad89ea3d⋯.jpg (207.42 KB,480x640,3:4,a57acddad89ea3df33fdc04b4a….jpg)

>>6709

>That strange thing again. I guess I woke up right in the moment when you clicked reply.

Hehe

>Huh? But my Talmud for their masks and goggles says otherwise... 3M Centre, Cain Road, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 8HT, UK. Maybe it's just a manufacturer branch, like the other ones in other countries, meh, I don't know.

Oh interesting, I would guess a branch, or a specific part of the company is there and things labeled that way, probably to get around taxes and such and such.

>Spoiler 1

Oh oh, now I see.

>Indeed, really nice. It feels somewhat Soviet-esque, or it's just an old building, I guess. Isn't there a slogan written on the left side of the building? "Curiosity is just the beginning", or something like that. But doesn't matter, this is it for sure, "3M Corporate Headquarters". Yeah, I agree, pretty damn close.

I think the slogan is new, within the last couple years, I think. It is a surprisingly big campus but its hard to tell from the highway, which is the only place most people see it from, but I did get to go inside once because of some connections.

>pic

haha, now that is silly. Be right back, making it out of cinnamon bread instead!

But seriously, fans are nice in summer, so having a high powered ex-rc hovercraft fan would be convenient. Or just an excuse to practice wiring, maybe print a small ""motherboard" for the switch and wiring between it and the fan/power.

>spoiler 3

I once attended a "comic convention". yuck. it was miserable.

>lets move on

o-ok

>concussed in battle

That sounds like a pretty sane and standard commissar ehehe, no concussions required

Sorry for my lack of post yesterday, I think I hit my emotional limit for work on the end of my last, and extra long shift. Delivering things in the middle of the night in the bad side of the cities just made my anxiety flare up, was moping most of the night, though little things like sweets made me feel a little better, but I went to bed fairly quickly.

My dreams were horrid last night though, ugh, what misery. I don't wish to recall them. I hope a restful night tonight will be better.

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 No.6713

File: 90536c45dc33f3a⋯.png (370.98 KB,820x480,41:24,4600950_p4.png)

>>6712

>probably to get around taxes and such and such.

Maybe. But don't forget that their branches are scattered all over the world.

>It is a surprisingly big campus but its hard to tell from the highway

Yeah, but it's perfectly visible on maps or from a drone.

>haha, now that is silly. Be right back, making it out of cinnamon bread instead!

It's clearly that you didn't get the message hehe, but oh well, you can use this for reference and education purposes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1W_dRKiP4U

>But seriously, fans are nice in summer

Yes, but why don't you just buy it?

>Or just an excuse to practice wiring

Are you sure you will need this skill in the future? Yes, I consider this an important skill for many, very important, for me, for example, but do you really need it?

>last spoiler

That's the joke.

>Delivering things in the middle of the night in the bad side of the cities just made my anxiety flare up

I see. It's alright.

>sweets made me feel a little better

Huh...

>My dreams were horrid last night

So, you keep having dreams, I guess? Interesting.

Misery, you say? As you wish, ehehe.

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 No.6714

File: a05bdd346c722dd⋯.jpg (213.67 KB,600x471,200:157,a05bdd346c722dd4fc1a22e32d….jpg)

>>6713

>Yeah, but it's perfectly visible on maps or from a drone.

Thats true, but its such a local sight I never even thought to look at it from a map for the longest time, nor had a reason to.

>It's clearly that you didn't get the message

Oooh, what am I missing, a lesson on the importance of prioritizing necessities and focusing on practicality perhaps??

>video

hahaha, for that at least, the purpose of entertaining is certainly fulfilled

>Yes, but why don't you just buy it?

Again, just for learning and fun purposes.

>but do you really need it?

Well, if I am ever to advance towards my lofty goal of a dancing doll, yes I will. I suppose learning data science and python are probably more important right now, as well as my reading, but the fan project is on hold for now anyways, the parts have been sitting around for some time.

>So, you keep having dreams, I guess? Interesting.

Yes, that is a nice change of pace. I suspect better breathing to be part of it... amongst other things ehhe.

>last spoiler

definitely not as I wish! じゃないよ!I wish to have happy and peaceful dreams

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 No.6715

File: 048cba42f7490a9⋯.jpg (353.46 KB,1280x1280,1:1,048cba42f7490a9adbf8fbd113….jpg)

>>6714

>>6713

>Misery

I suppose I know nothing of misery in dreams, im sorry, i shouldn't use such terms so lightly, when I probably don't go through a fraction of what others might have

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 No.6716

File: a00375e0be03804⋯.jpg (4.98 MB,2020x4093,2020:4093,85355736_p0.jpg)

>>6714

>the importance of prioritizing necessities and focusing on practicality perhaps??

Close enough, but not really.

>hahaha, for that at least, the purpose of entertaining is certainly fulfilled

I don't get it. Where is your cinnamon bread trolleybus? Don't have any? You expect me to believe that, maggot? The truth is you lost an expensive piece of army-issue equipment. That bread is going to come out of your pay, and you will remain in this mans army until you are five hundred and ten years old, which is the number of years it will take for you to pay for a Mark II Powered Loaf Trolleybus you have lost! Report to the armory and have a new loaf issued to you, then report back to me, private! DISMISSED!!! ~DESUYO

>Again, just for learning and fun purposes.

Learning and fun? From the hovercraft disassembling? It's primitive as fuck. Well, if you can really learn something from it... Go ahead. Ah, my head already hurts despite the fucking ketorolac. You've always been very good at giving me headaches.

>Well, if I am ever to advance towards my lofty goal of a dancing doll, yes I will.

First, you should improve your skill at assembling and decorating ordinary, "not-dancing" dolls, I guess. Also you can optionally learn how to make them completely by yourself. Then you can get into electronics, controllers, programming, and robotics. Your ability to work with spreadsheets and "data science" fufufu won't help you even with the assistance of youtube, stackoverflow and other crap.

But with the basics of programming it's better to start early and seriously, I guess, otherwise you'll be just another Hindu coder or a copy-paste monkey in the future. If you're ever going to be a coder. looks at you with doubt

>I suppose learning data science and python are probably more important right now, as well as my reading

That's right, I guess.

>Yes, that is a nice change of pace. I suspect better breathing to be part of it...

Hmm.

>amongst other things ehhe.

ISHYGDDT

And nope, I don't want to know.

>spoiler

You wished not to recall them. バカ。

>>6715

Stop with this shit, please. I'm sick of it. ~desu ^ ^

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 No.6717

File: 5e58f42a8ea9a80⋯.jpg (131.37 KB,640x640,1:1,5e58f42a8ea9a802aeb17555a9….jpg)

>>6716

>Close enough, but not really.

Oooh, then what is the lesson im missing?

>DISMISSED!!! ~DESUYO

Yes sah!

>spoiler 1

**Ah im sorry, i don't mean to, its purely unintentional.

>First, you should improve your skill at assembling and decorating ordinary, "not-dancing" dolls, I guess.

That's true, I should get building one after all.

>Your ability to work with spreadsheets and "data science" fufufu won't help you

That is more to provide a more stable career and income to afford time and tools for other things. I want to escape the dreaded trap of retail for good. I want a cushy comfortable office job where I sit on a computer all day processing data, then go home and relax or study.

>spoiler 2

i don't wanna be a hindu coder! ><

>ISHYGDDT

Eh? All I meant was someone watching out for me in my dreams, I think, thats all silly.

>spoiler 3

Oh wow, rolled a 1 on reading comprehension, reread and now I understand. I'm sorry

The biggest problem is being spoiled for choice and adhd. So many projects with only two days off a week. Sewing, dolls, 3d printing, reading, python, data science, and of course many video games to play, and anime to watch. Oh and learning japanese slowly but surely as well. This is why i'm considering going back to school for a while for the data science and japanese courses, give myself a more structured environment than my own bumbling around "self-teaching" y'know? Sitting down and focusing when spoiled for choice has always been a difficulty of mine.

Though I am prepping the 3d printed doll files right now, might as well get SOMETHING done. Let the printer print for hours while I read.

Speaking of anime I just finished monster which was really really good, even in english!

Also I'm a step closer! Sui did not visit my dreams yet, but Rozen Maiden was part of the plot. It was very strange, a dream where I was assessing some sort of classrooms potential homework, where there was a question regarding the rozen maidens, and gin. A hypothetical where gin is triggered by the topic of fire nomad plot obviously, and how the student should respond and be polite and "sensitive to it"... which devolved into me arguing with the professor that gin would never show such weakness as admitting a potential fear. Then the dream ended.

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 No.6718

File: 48d1cfdfbb1c1c8⋯.jpg (2.89 MB,1080x1920,9:16,74814968_p0.jpg)

>>6717

>Oooh, then what is the lesson im missing?

...

sighs

The fucking nevermind lesson.

>Yes sah!

I am not a sir! I work for a living you mo-ron! You will call me Sergeant or Sergeant Desu do you understand me?!!

Soldier, you are still out of trolleybus. I gave you a direct order to report to supplies and get your issue. Now, get out of my face and don't come back until you look like a desufag! This is the second time you have come to me without trolleybus, soldier. There will not be a third!

>Ah im sorry, i don't mean to, its purely unintentional.

Where have I heard that before, I wonder?..

>That's true, I should get building one after all.

I really guess so.

>That is more to provide a more stable career and income to afford time and tools for other things

> I want a cushy comfortable office job where I sit on a computer all day processing data

Hehehe. Good luck, I guess.

>spoiler 2

Wanna or not wanna, it's all up to you. ^ ^

>someone watching out for me in my dreams

Fortunately, I doubt it.

>So many projects with only two days off a week.

Even with these conditions, you have a fuckton of time overall, unlike some. Why not drop everything unimportant and deal with one thing at a time every "two days", if it really matters to you?

>Oh and learning japanese slowly but surely as well.

Well, at this pace, maybe you'll finally learn it to an acceptable level. In your old age. Maybe even N3. Second language, right, eheh?

>This is why i'm considering going back to school for a while

Good luck with that too. ~desu

>I just finished monster which was really really good,

Mm-hmm...

>even in english!

Eeeh?!

>Then the dream ended.

Yeah, interesting.

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 No.6719

File: 090ad3be2daa7e3⋯.swf (1010.68 KB,_.swf)

/f/ is dead, so i post here

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 No.6720

File: 13dd4ed2239c8b3⋯.jpg (50.97 KB,400x400,1:1,1287722126310.jpg)

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 No.6721

File: 64a2685db8bdf1c⋯.jpg (298.69 KB,750x856,375:428,64a2685db8bdf1c28097ead60d….jpg)

>>6718

>Even with these conditions, you have a fuckton of time overall, unlike some. Why not drop everything unimportant and deal with one thing at a time every "two days", if it really matters to you?

That is true. I should put this into practice more.

I did actually get a lot done after that post though. Some reading, cleaning, and I even started doll construction, though not through normal "true" doll making means, but in a way that might actually be better suited for a dancing doll anyways. 3D printing. Her face is already complete, and very little is different from a standard doll, looks quite nice infact. Though it needs painting on the head for sure. But the lightweight construction will help when it comes time to make another and use wires and motors instead of joint connectors.

Eyes would probably be hard in an eventual final, but my lofty dreams include some options I will eventually have to test, including a motor attached to the eyebrow so it can lower and raise for more expression, and either an eyelid or using an led screen for the eyes, who knows, but thats a long long long way off, focus on the current doll making for now.

I did clean up my sewing machine area, but attempts at a doll face mask were a flop, the material I was using was no good, and its very hard to fold cloth at such a small size. I will try to get a pattern for a successful mask I've seen before rather than just trying to scale my normal masks I made for humans.

I actually donated a lot of masks during the beginning of the pandemic, and still run into coworkers wearing my masks, which i'm rather proud of. But sadly it does not translate to small clothing production.

I just focused on each task one at a time like you said, and got a lot done.

>Well, at this pace, maybe you'll finally learn it to an acceptable level. In your old age. Maybe even N3. Second language, right, eheh?

This is something else i'm considering doing in a properly structured course as well, because my pace... old age indeed. N3 when i'm a ghost!

>Eeeh?!

Yep, there are a few handful of shows that really shine in english. The always mentioned Cowboy Bebop, Monster, and G-Gundam but that may be for sentimentality sake as I grew up watching in english, so I finished it in english.

Mostly I watch subtitles though of course.

>>6719

bro i don't even know what even

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 No.6723

File: 0d436bd770b12e1⋯.jpg (907.56 KB,1000x750,4:3,75585506_p0.jpg)

Just telling. Tomorrow will be a long and hard day. Tomorrow night I will get out "far" from home and try to finally have an MRI brain scan this year, and I will also have to bring there my relative who may have suffered a stroke for the same procedure. And all while trying to avoid biohazard. I don't know what to expect. I haven't even recovered from the flu(?) yet. It will be really tough, I guess.

I really need to get some rest now. It's all so tiresome. Maybe I'll reply tonight after sleep, but I make no promises on that.

If I'm gone for a long time, don't wait for me, okay? Alright then. ~desu

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 No.6724

File: 6484e1a7c9fcebe⋯.jpg (352.99 KB,1000x1200,5:6,6484e1a7c9fcebe640975cb4a2….jpg)

>>6723

Do not fret, if you need to rest instead of replying, thats okay.

I will be wishing and praying for your safe and speedy recovery.

Good luck ~desu

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 No.6725

File: 3cb1ab080a4c63a⋯.jpg (61.11 KB,362x512,181:256,x_8ed02309.jpg)

wishing you the best of luck and health, sweet dreams.

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 No.6726

File: 328f9267babd6d4⋯.jpg (166.97 KB,1000x750,4:3,75180569_p0.jpg)

>>6721

You should, I guess.

I'm glad, I guess.

That's good, I guess.

That's true, I guess.

Interesting, I guess.

I understand, I guess.

>>6724

Thank you. ~desu

>>6725

Same for you. I really hope you're alright. ~desu

>the color that we gazed at together

2237?

>the place that we found together

2237?

>1052

2237?

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 No.6728

File: 582471e352c56bb⋯.jpg (196.84 KB,500x700,5:7,582471e352c56bb8bf47630208….jpg)

>>6726

You made it back, thats good, i think. I hope things went well, but you don't have to explain or talk about it if you don't want to.

2237? Ignore me if its to troublesome to explain. Rest as much as you need.

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 No.6729

File: 8294a1af4736549⋯.jpg (94.17 KB,512x640,4:5,SJr2hxAyuss.jpg)

are you still here, epsilon?

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 No.6730

>>6729


           /            \`ヽ、
.           _/   _   --‐┬‐-ミ _ \ \
        //_,..: :/: : : : : : : :.:.|: : : : : : : \ \ \
.       / / : : : / : : : : : : : : : |: : : : : : : i : \ ‘,  ヽ
      { / : : : /: : : : : : : : :/: :|: : : : : : : |: : : :\'  /
        У: : : : :|: : : : : : /: /: :八 : : : : : : |: : : : : :i∨
         .: : : : : :| //メ: イ: / ‐\|\: : |: : : : : :| |
       |: : : :-=彡 /´  |/      \|: : : : : :| |
       |: : : : : 八 灯ТТ     下Т灯/: : : : :/ {!
      人: :\: : :ヽ 乂zソ       乂zソ /: : : /  八
       /   T|| |`ト ゝ         _彡: イ|   ノ: :′
.      /  /「|| | \     ’     /  V   |: : :′
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.    /   ,|:::::::: {>-  ,_    マ´      ノ′  |:::|: : :′
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.  {   {:|:::::::::::::::::}\⌒Y⌒ イ 、 \\:::::::{   {:::|: : : ′
  ノ     }:|:::::::::::::::::|// ̄ ̄ ̄「 \\ノ /::::::::}    ∨: : : :′
. /    ノ:.|:::::::::::::::::|/     |  ノ\_/:::::::::{    {: : : : :′
 {    }: :|::::::::::::::::/       :|/:::::::::::::::::::::::〉    }: : : : ′

always. what is it?

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 No.6731

File: 56eed992f945aad⋯.jpg (131.67 KB,650x868,325:434,z_0201277c.jpg)

>>6730

>what is it?

Simply how you are, have not seen of you in quite some time, hope you are well..

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 No.6732

>>6731

> Simply how you are

watching the pressure, pressing the buttons. bored. like, BORED. it's surely not as boring as being, y'know, some pencil pusher or a retail clerk lol, plus for a bonus, when someone finds out about my work, they always say somethin like

> ow man THAT'S AMAZING can I come with you just to take a look, tell them I won't touch anything I promise please etc etc

always makes me smile ehe-he. but if my shift were over, I'd be so fukken happy, 'cause 1) yuh it's still a hella boring job, esp considering extra hours and 2) it's not a good idea to post from here directly or using a vpn, impossible. as for browser wannabe vpns and dying proxies - well fuck, 'ere comes the firewall. even if somethings working it's banned for cp on 8Scheiße as usual.

so I use tor. fuck you, tor.

they're forcing us to wear extra extra protection now, as if this thing could melt or explode right under my feet. kidding, it's because of the pandemic and the lockdown, duh. I wish I knew a new way to stealth carry my liquor umbrella to my workplace. I feel like I'm in the desert for the fucks sake! but there's medical alcohol here though. mmmm.

wow, that's alotta text, and I suppose there's absolutely no information here, amirite, ehe-he?

how ya doing, buddy? how's your liver? how's your health? how's your life? where did you save these pics from? really, where?

> have not seen of you in quite some time

hey, that's my line! I posted in October... a-a couple of posts. but you didn't at all! or did you? doh, like that means a thing. I think astro and co is onto something, I'd be more cautious if I were that jabroni. and yeah, been waiting for you! I mean, gee, thought you'd forgotten about me.


.            , _<_二_>_ 、
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.          \//:::´::/ ̄::ト、:!ヘヽ/
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.          { {人 |kリ` ´kリレ'::::}{
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.   〈::´::::::::__::_, '../..............ヽ...丶_::__::::`::::〉
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      /' ´/..............>‐-..-‐<...............ヽ \'
    ´   /.........................................................∧_`
.     <-、..........................................................._/
.         `¨'´iへノiゝ…ソヽ从ノiルイi ゙'´
             ̄          ̄

what's that stench... aha, turns out this wasn't pure alcohol. buuuut...

but this IS, this is the one! I found it, I'm a winrar! now gotta add some water, so, nobody saw anything, ehe-he-he.

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 No.6733

3) I wanna sleep.

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 No.6734


.              ― - 、ヽ
      /´ _ _   ヽヽ
       // ̄: : : : : :`ヽ、 }
.     /: : : /: : : :/:∧: : :ヽ '. ヽ
    /' : : /: ://:/―ヽ: : :} }   ヽ
    ヽ|: : :伝〃/ 斧灯}.: :} }/「`
.     !: 从Vj   ゞ-' /: / /: : :|
     ヽノヽ  ' _,  // /: : : :|
      {  >. 、_  イ  / : : : : :.
      {  _}'/ヽ_/'  {\、: : :ヘ

songs, huh? don't know what's up with you two, but I suppose that thing above was meant for you if you're still here.

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 No.6735

File: 8fe08a74d7cc1cf⋯.jpg (191.17 KB,1024x1024,1:1,mozektosznajdziewlasciwawe….jpg)

flowers

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 No.6736

File: 946bb5264b1bd56⋯.jpg (36.25 KB,500x600,5:6,946bb5264b1bd56ce1ae01380f….jpg)

>>6735

Flowers!

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 No.6737

File: aef2c5ea750f4b0⋯.jpg (143.66 KB,800x1068,200:267,aef2c5ea750f4b0cc52c4d4c44….jpg)

File: 1fab4a48cb03e58⋯.jpg (152.2 KB,600x753,200:251,1fab4a48cb03e588c2950359b5….jpg)

File: 849f3dec7fd7b7d⋯.jpg (195.12 KB,400x332,100:83,849f3dec7fd7b7dfe4219b6715….jpg)

File: 10164f6a443d1e6⋯.jpg (216.15 KB,700x730,70:73,10164f6a443d1e6b4573476ff4….jpg)

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 No.6738

File: 06b5aa1fe5d5649⋯.png (345.04 KB,480x640,3:4,gdzieidlaczego.png)

>>6735

Yes. Beautiful things.

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 No.6739

File: d6b27ed8029821e⋯.jpg (288.11 KB,1017x1098,113:122,d6b27ed8029821eeb307969e4a….jpg)

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 No.6740

File: aa6f55488963ce2⋯.png (1.07 MB,1200x1600,3:4,67596910_p2.png)

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 No.6741

File: 58304530189c52a⋯.jpg (403.44 KB,800x714,400:357,58304530189c52ad72d79e2ccb….jpg)

Ah, sorry.

Are you feeling a slight bit better?

How was your trip? You don't have to talk about that if you don't want to though.

Or would you rather talk about something else like gardening? Though I wont be too helpful, I come from a family of black thumbs

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 No.6742

File: c0d949e301d560d⋯.png (6.48 MB,2800x4000,7:10,85518569_p0.png)

>>6741

Why would I?

But, thank the Twins, I don't feel anything at the moment aside the usual hallucinations and extreme dereal/deperson thanks to the chems. There may also be a feeling of being rolled up by a road roller. But it's fine.

>How was your trip?

It felt a little weird after a year of self-incarceration.

>Or would you rather talk about something else like gardening?

I can't do it right now, I guess. I took too much stuff.

>spoiler

I see, I see.

OK, let's see... I guess that I'm confused again. I guess that Epsilon, what a nose, was referring to Delta, not you, Zeta. And certainly not to you, №6741. Or you're just the same person, and so the puzzle is solved, I guess.

If you all want to say something, it's time, I guess. Or you can continue to be silent/cryptic/avoiding. Up to you. This is yours board after all, not "mine".

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 No.6743

File: 7b773da1c411d2d⋯.jpg (118.65 KB,600x800,3:4,ffuck.jpg)

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 No.6744

File: 8c4d676727896e2⋯.jpg (49.44 KB,400x300,4:3,dhwdtyyS5vk.jpg)

finally back, I need a deep sleep.

>>6732

>how ya doing, buddy? how's your liver? how's your health? how's your life?

I am doing alright, was across state for the last few days do pardon my delayed response, it was very busy, and A whole lot of driving. I am just exhausted. My liver got destroyed these last few days, even if i drink little I have this sharp pain in my side, and its tough to eat. Which does not do me well as I grow weaker. I should be fin if I stay sober for at least 3 days. I guess I am getting old, Cant handle the hangovers as well anymore, pain, cold sweats, and if i dont drink at least a little I tend to break into tremors. Its an ugly cycle, bleh..

>where did you save these pics from? really, where?

I wish I could keep track of where all my images come from, hop around too many sites, and when I see rm art, I do my best to hoard it and keep it organized. I am sure most came from 2ch, some from 4/jp/, chaturbate, also there was an impressive collection in the 4zip that died a few years ago, which the ftp is back, but the old one is gone. Aside from that I mostly enjoy using shots from the manga, about a few months ago I capped every frame of suigintou, kanaria, and tefuko in rm0. much like any other series and such the collection grows and accumulates as time progresses. and gets increasingly difficult to organized. Never ending spring cleaning heh..

>hey, that's my line! I posted in October... a-a couple of posts. but you didn't at all! or did you?

i do my best to keep tabs on BO, and the on goings here. sometimes o get really messy though and its tough to take the finger out and say hello, none the less much like yourself, I am always around, watching.

>>6742

Not much to say, just happy things are peaceful and nobody is at each others throats. Its relaxing.

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 No.6745

>>6742

have mercy, I didn't do nuffin'! I'll post more! but ja, you're right bout my claim, mein lieber Kommandant.

hey, did delta happen to like Suigintou? yup, the million-dollar question.


                 ,、--―-、__
              ,.ィ':´: : \    \ ̄`'ー--、
              //: : : : : : \    ヽ     `ー-、
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        \ .{{::::`.ヘ'´   /ィ'`ヽ、:ヽ    ヽ: : : : :.∧
        {{\{{:::::::::::: ̄`i` /:::::::::::::::ヽ:ヽ   ヽ: : : : ∧
.        {{::::リ::::::::::::,ィ'´`ヽ:::::::::::::::::::::',: ヽ   ヽ: : : :.∧
.         {{::リ:::::::::/  ´/|::::::::::::::::::::::::ヘ: :ヽ    \: : :∧

>>6744

> finally back, I need a deep sleep.

ahah, just look at this and look at that, it's sure as hell is you, so they're wrong, yay. if I'm wrong, I'll eat my dress.

> I am doing alright

eh, well yeah but

> even if i drink little I have this sharp pain in my side, and its tough to eat

dayum bro OK

> I guess I am getting old

it's not you, it's your warp drive that you've destroyed does need some maintenance, some serious maintenance. can you lower your l/day a little, day per day? I know your medical services isn't perfect there, but what about a therapist or a psychiatrist, not an option? don't get me wrong, I'm just a little worried my friend.

> Its an ugly cycle

it is, I second that bleh. you need to know your limit, otherwise itll only get worse over time. but the thirst, the need, I feel ya.

> most came from 2ch

but there's no images, but that was quite a few years ago now. are you thinking what I'm thinking? as expected! shame, woo! they're altered by the script.

also compressed pics from vk and... what was it called again? well you got it. bleh again.

> chaturbate

holy shit Gintonic you what

ah, right

ALPHAAA. SUIII. what the hell?

> 4zip

the one that was ddosed to death, ehe, or I have I mistook the time and place?

> I capped every frame of suigintou, kanaria, and tefuko in rm0

ah, so it was you? doing desurus work there mate.

> sometimes o get really messy though

yeah, like, lemme think, right now. but! posing as Sherlock Holmes

you're not polish and you don't understand what's going on, neither do I but I know who's who now and there's six of us here! elementary, my dear Gintson.

> much like yourself

guess you're right...

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 No.6746

File: 62a7b517ee0c40c⋯.jpg (113.16 KB,700x450,14:9,62a7b517ee0c40cef3272bb9cf….jpg)

>>6742

>But, thank the Twins, I don't feel anything at the moment aside the usual hallucinations and extreme dereal/deperson thanks to the chems.

That's... better... i think? I hope so.

>I can't do it right now, I guess. I took too much stuff.

That's okay, if you can't talk much right now thats fine too.

Still, thanks yet again, even my video game skills have improved with the l-theanine, or its a really good placebo haha, but an effective placebo is still effective nonetheless.

Oh I did find out what robotic doll I was referring to a while back:

https://twitter.com/segawachobbies/status/1322798401507880961?s=20

https://zenn.dev/chobby/books/5e8753354aadaa35e5b5

I would love to build a doll like this, plus there is a guide and links to 3d printable parts.

But first 3d printed normal doll of course. She's almost done, just hands, maybe an alternate pair of feet (I dislike the base designs, but someone made a fork), then time for stringing!

Also it snowed more today, I hope it snowed for you as well. Though technically more hail than snow but there was still some snow in there I swear!

>not referring to me

oh? Well, surprising, I can't deny being a bit of a jabroni at times

>>6744

>Its an ugly cycle, bleh..

Oh dear, hopefully you can break out of it soon.

>Aside from that I mostly enjoy using shots from the manga, about a few months ago I capped every frame of suigintou, kanaria, and tefuko in rm0

Oh wow, impressive, I am working on screencapping Sui in rm0 now, after having just finished screencapping the tales.

>>6745

>the one that was ddosed to death, ehe, or I have I mistook the time and place?

I think mistaken, I believe the owner simply took it down, it's not there anymore.

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 No.6747

File: 94005a25c845b0b⋯.jpg (37.56 KB,683x337,683:337,y_c72394f5.jpg)

>the million-dollar question.

not a qustion for me, but am curious.

>>6745

>it's sure as hell is you, so they're wrong, yay.

of course its me, the only other ginto I have seen here was a visitor from /kind/. Not sure if they are still lurking, was nice to meet them though.

>I'll eat my dress.

that dont seem like a good meal, was I being mistaken for someone else again?

>therapist or a psychiatrist, not an option?

was about to go to AA however covid killed off those meetings..

>you need to know your limit, otherwise itll only get worse over time.

i have been noticing that, feels ugly after the drink, and without it.

>but there's no images

was reffering to .rip the ru 2ch, plenty of gintos there.

>ALPHAAA. SUIII. what the hell?

hehe, its not the filter. Just continues with that nickname because it makes me giggle.

>have I mistook the time and place?

could be the case, it was fine years ago. then one day was just dead. luckily i was able to salvage while a had the chance.

>ah, so it was you? doing desurus work there mate.

yeah, I have a soft spot for tefuko, and kanaria. Much like Gin did heh.

>you're not polish and you don't understand what's going on, neither do I

definitely is some confusion going on, seems the others may be a tad confused as well.

>but I know who's who now and there's six of us here! elementary, my dear Gintson.

mind sharing some of that brain, can definitely appreciate less confusion.

>>6746

>Oh dear, hopefully you can break out of it soon.

likewise, i guess i can be a bit careless, even with my own body, a shame..

>I am working on screencapping Sui in rm0 now, after having just finished screencapping the tales.

Sui and Sou being the headlining characters in rm0, there is definitely plenty to collect. look forward to seeing more images circulate around.

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 No.6748

check this, check that, repeat. boring, boring...

>>6747


// / '´ \:.:.:...:l  :.:.:. |
// ,.二二. ヽ:.:;  .:.:.:. l
'  ´/.ゝ;;;i Y jイ  .:.:./ l
   {:.:し:.:| / :/  .:.:/l /
 、 乂 .ノ .:/ .://:/
 ノ    / .:// /'´
    / イ´ /
ー '    /: :  l
    /: : : /
_  イ: : : :  |
.:.:.:.:.i: :   /

> not a qustion for me

really? now I'm curious about your curiosity!

> of course its me

I know that and I'm happy, he-he!

> Not sure if they are still lurking

I hope the are. what, why not?

>was I being mistaken for someone else again?

probably. y'know it's your unique trait, mr. tuxedo mask.

> was about to go to AA however covid killed off those meetings

aw. what about more traditional things, like psychiatry?

> was reffering to .rip the ru 2ch, plenty of gintos there.

ah, thought you were talking about .hk, wannabe russian 4Chen. but still the same shit, 'Ability to post same images' alters the pic and its hash.

> hehe, its not the filter. Just continues with that nickname because it makes me giggle.

ha-ha-hah-a, I spilled isopropanol everywhere you glorious bastard! alf, can we bring that thing back?

> could be the case, it was fine years ago

it had 502 before the end, very often.

> I have a soft spot for tefuko, and kanaria

⸸ trve cvlt 6intofa6 ⸸

> can definitely appreciate less confusion

filenames, my dear, filenames.

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 No.6749


      /    ヽ
    /  ※   ,ゝ
    /       /: : ヽ
.  /  ※  _/: : : : : :.ヽ
.  ,'    /: : : : : : : i: : :.',
  , ※ /: : : /: /: : :./: : l: l
  !  .,': : :.:/: /: :.|:./: //:/
  ! ※ !: : :/!:/_人_/:/
ヽ,l   l: : :l.l/.  `Y´ヽ,'´
: : ヘ ※ヘ、:!.′rヘ. | /
: : : ト、  ヽ`  ヽ,ゝ'′
: : : l_rヽ※ヽ`ー'´
: : /ゝ-、ヽ l》     r'´`ヽ
: /:::::::::::´`ヽヽ    lr‐、 )
〈:::::::::::::::::::::::ゝヽ _,ノゞヽソ
:.ヘ::::::::::::::::::::::〉ゝ!'   /

time for relaxation procedures!

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 No.6750

File: 53bd596436a676e⋯.jpg (1.02 MB,1812x2000,453:500,66138928_p1.jpg)

File: 0d05edeab788d5e⋯.png (16.77 KB,400x300,4:3,ba9b161af31c9e87ee8a756279….png)

>>6744

Okay then.

Also Pepsilon is right about "compressed" images. Compare the two. Disgusting, isn't it?

>>6745

We'll see about that, I guess. Ten-kilometer gas-mask run around the shrine. Proceed.

>hey, did delta happen to like Suigintou?

Yes, very much. He is 0137? and an ex-gintofag after all, a real one, if I recall correctly. I perfectly understand what you are talking about, sherlock. 9/10 for effort, now move on from this topic and do something more useful, I don't know.

>ALPHAAA. SUIII. what the hell?

Hehehe. We have no clue, really, our "language enhancer" was killed a long time ago because of butthurt newcomers from the outernet, "censorship" and all, you know. I checked.

Ah, now I see. Hehe. Fascinating.

>ah, so it was you? doing desurus work there mate.

Seconding.

>>6746

I suppose that depends on how you look at it.

You're welcome, I guess.

>links

Ah, that one. I see.

>She's almost done

Good. Don't forget to post pictures when you finish her.

>Also it snowed more today, I hope it snowed for you as well.

Nope. But it should today, I guess.

>Well, surprising

What is so surprising about that?

>>6747

Ahem. About alcoholic addiction. Baclofen, no, still nope?.. Okay. I just wanted to help, I guess.

>was I being mistaken for someone else again?

No, I just made a drunk paranoid assumption, just before recalling and realizing the thing I said above, thanks to some memories.

>hehe, its not the filter.

Hehe, I almost rolled back the settings.

>definitely is some confusion going on, seems the others may be a tad confused as well.

Don't worry, it's just me and... The moderator, I guess. So just don't pay attention to these charades, everything is alright. I guess...

>>6748

>alf, can we bring that thing back?

Only if everyone agrees and suggest the options, I guess.

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 No.6751

File: 93547ac19e5b587⋯.gif (220.73 KB,640x800,4:5,19f7527ce4a638a26dce214359….gif)

>>6748

>now I'm curious about your curiosity!

would ask, but it seems alph has already answered.

>I hope the are. what, why not?

no particular reason, am sure they may still be a round. Seemed like good people.

>probably. y'know it's your unique trait, mr. tuxedo mask.

now I am mr. tuxedo mask, my confusion intensifies, heh.

>what about more traditional things, like psychiatry?

definitely has been considered, not sure what that would do for alcoholism though.

>can we bring that thing back?

is such a place even mentioned enough here to be worth it?

>>6750

>About alcoholic addiction. Baclofen, no, still nope?..

seems like it could help, but also may be a double edged sword in regards to my addictive personality, I have always had a small fear of medications. But your help and advice is most appreciated.

>Only if everyone agrees and suggest the options, I guess.

I am game with whatever, am sure epsilon in more in tune with it all so I would think their words are much insightful than my own. As far as board work, i have been learning new things. playing with css and such on a smaller newer chan, A lot of the bells and whistles you have implemented here are very interesting, hopefully I could get on your level one day.

on a side note, as some of you may know administration has dropped out from this chan, and the future of this site is uncertain. in the event that the worse comes, is there a game plan?

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 No.6752

File: b8e3d63fd699716⋯.jpg (2.85 MB,1801x2200,1801:2200,69066336_p0.jpg)

>>6751

I understand... But please consider to think about it some more when you'll find yourself at the dead end.

>I have always had a small fear of medications.

A shame. It's not a thing the psychologists would prescribe to you. Psychotropic medications is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... Unnatural.

>I would think their words are much insightful than my own.

What makes you think that?

>playing with css and such on a smaller newer chan

/rozen/, right? Or do you mean something else?

>hopefully I could get on your level one day.

What level? There is nothing extraordinary here, just a little bit of polishing and decoration, I guess. The things I wanted to do are still broken or incomplete to add it in the current css.

>in the event that the worse comes, is there a game plan?

Not yet. We have always not really "always"... been nomads and I didn't think I would live so long. I don't know. I'd love to hear what you're thinking about that, I guess.

>now I am mr. tuxedo mask, my confusion intensifies, heh.

Haven't you always been one? ¬ ¬

>definitely has been considered, not sure what that would do for alcoholism though.

I believe he was talking about psychiatrists and narcologists, not psychologists, therapists or social workers, i.e. a waste of time.

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 No.6753

File: 5797ebe2fb0d754⋯.png (312.23 KB,1145x500,229:100,gintofags.png)

Hey, look at this silly thing I found. What is your blood type, Zeta?

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 No.6754

File: 6619ddb1e3be3d4⋯.png (364.71 KB,1145x500,229:100,ginblood_fxd.png)

Oh, there's a fixed version.

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 No.6755

File: ffe053ab52195f0⋯.gif (15.35 KB,500x500,1:1,laughter.gif)

Hehehe, I'm sorry.

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 No.6756

File: 3ee0c056ca2eca7⋯.png (3.16 MB,2031x1607,2031:1607,75688361_p2.png)

Flowers, huh...

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 No.6757

File: d21332d04140043⋯.jpg (415.09 KB,500x645,100:129,d21332d0414004354bfb04a462….jpg)

>>6756

yeah, nice flowers for a cute garden doll

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 No.6758

File: 93025e47e582a4e⋯.jpg (56.63 KB,500x666,250:333,93025e47e582a4eec84c56f017….jpg)

>>6750

>Good. Don't forget to post pictures when you finish her.

I will, all parts currently printed, but im hung up on stringing her. Will need to practice some more, or find a way to tighten the strings better. The string method is so much different than my existing volks, i'm not used to it haha. I also have the first first failed face skin color paint attempt failed miserably, going to use it for practice makeup before doing it on the second face, which has a base clear layer so it doesn't absorb into the 3d print grooves. Still not sure i'm prepared to destroy and dispose of the original face when i'm done, will I end up creating a 0th doll of my own?

>What is so surprising about that?

Oh, just because the shoe fits after all.

>Only if everyone agrees and suggest the options, I guess.

I'm curious what it is, but I suppose I will see in time.

>>6751

>definitely has been considered, not sure what that would do for alcoholism though.

They may have options and ideas to help identify behavioral patterns both to find the source of alcoholism and to prevent further addiction perhaps? My doctors do phone or video call visits now, which is honestly more convenient and easy to schedule around, so it may be a better option than ever.

Perhaps treat it the way I'm treating my anxiety and emotions, learn to identify and catch the behaviors early on, notice without judgement, and restraint slowly introduces itself stronger and stronger. Well... maybe, don't know if it works that with alcohol but it certainly helps with emotions.

>A lot of the bells and whistles you have implemented here are very interesting, hopefully I could get on your level one day.

Indeed, the CSS has come further than ever before, its a wonderful thing to see.

>>6752

>I believe he was talking about psychiatrists and narcologists, not psychologists, therapists or social workers, i.e. a waste of time.

I would consider it a gamble, very heavily dependent on where you live.I have thankfully had some luck I guess, and had help pulling myself out of some dark times thanks to my teams, but yeah, certainly not universal, or probably good help being the minority of cases.

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 No.6759


 ヘ        /    /: : : : : : : : \
 /:ヽ    ,'  ※ /: : :/: : : : :i!: : :ヽ
./: : :.ヽ    l    /: : :./: : : : : :l!: : : :.',
: : : : : : ヽ  l   ./: : : /: : :/: : /!:l: : : i:',
: : : : : : : :.ヽl .※ i: : : :.l: :/: :././/!: : :l: l
: : : : : : : : : ',   !: : : : l'_,/‐/ !: :./!/
: : : : : : : : : : i  !:.i: : :.l ,、ェモ!  // /
: : : :.r'´`ー、ハl  ヽヽ: ヘ ` lリ /、
:./`ノ´::::::::::::ヽヘ ※ l``ー`-    /
:.〉´::::::::::::::::::::l ノ、  l     ー'/
´ノ::::::::::::::::::::::l ヽヽ !` ー- '´
`!::::::::::::::::::::::::l《》《ヽ l  l !

>>6750

> Ten-kilometer gas-mask run around the shrine

mhhp mhp mhhpp mh mhpph!

> Yes, very much

so I was right. yay. still not sure how that happened and where does this put us. but I got it, nevermind-nevermind.

> 9/10 for effort

oh, nun, dankeschön... aww

> Only if everyone agrees and suggest the options

you have my agreement!

eheh, I feel a little dumb right now. but what about [busy] = [lazy]? everyone is always busy with something, so lame.

>>6751

> alph has already answered

eh, looks like you're right, alright, alright.

> am sure they may still be a round

it's possible. I personally don't mind more anons especially if they are nice and all, ehe.

> now I am mr. tuxedo mask

???

> not sure what that would do for alcoholism

uh well, blood washing, treatment and rehabilitation, perhaps in co-operation with a psychotherapist and a, uh, a socio-medical department, did I say that right? maybe group therapy sometime afterwards. I dunno how they do it where you live. oh, how about [live] = [drink]?

> is such a place even mentioned enough here to be worth it?

why not just in case of mentioning it? and the filter is not limited to this, we can replace drugs and alcohol with The Spice. or [skooma] and [sujamma] respectively ehe-he-he.

>>6753

>>6754

I think that I and II should be swapped if we're counting from majority to minority.

also this pic can be somewhat applied to the desufags as well, just replace II with 'hurr desu desu desu' and III with 'I like plants and flowers' or 'Suiseiseki is cute and did nothing wrong' or something and you're good to go.

sooo this way we already have one type-I here, a couple of type-Vs and ha-ha-ha, type-VII of course! no offense bud.

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 No.6760

File: f79cdb03d5e924a⋯.jpg (241.13 KB,800x895,160:179,1861767.jpg)

>>6752

>please consider to think about it some more when you'll find yourself at the dead end.

most definitely, your advice is most appreciated especially with much more experience in dealing with such troubles.

>It's not a thing the psychologists would prescribe to you. Psychotropic medications is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... Unnatural.

however the question comes to mind, what happens after you dont need it anymore, the long term effects, dependency is always a weakness of mine.

>What makes you think that?

well for one I feel I am the least experienced in such however, if my feedback is wanted I can always put my two sense in, No issue with that.

>/rozen/

quite the watchful Christmas eyes you have there alpha, yes. that is my small project and such, and perhaps if the worse is to come it could possibly be put to good use. Any advice you have in regards to the css (it is quite messy), I would love to know. still very new to doing such and would like to have it looking like this board, less clutter and easier on the eyes. remember how it looked before you came? oh geez, no offense to their effort.

>The things I wanted to do are still broken or incomplete to add it in the current css.

perhaps these can be used in this newer chan, if you haven't already experiment with it?

>I don't know. I'd love to hear what you're thinking about that

being prepared is one thing I like to be, if there is nowhere to go, perhaps as mentioned above can be of use, even creating a new /desu/. I do not see this chan going down any time soon and the activity there is not fast enough to reall attract the kind of attention that 8 as a whole has been getting.

>Haven't you always been one? ¬ ¬

hehe, i guess the least i can ask is for some context.

>I believe he was talking about psychiatrists and narcologists, not psychologists,

perhaps so, there are times I feel i really do need professional help, not just with alcoholism, but an assortment of issues I have. Kind of funny seeing this >>6754 I guess I am not the only gintofag that is nutty, I know Suiginto attracts the crazies and chuuni's, i guess thats the demographic that resonates with her heh.

>>6755

no problem, in reality it gave me quite the giggle at how accurate some of them stereotypes are, where did you find this?

>>6758

>don't know if it works that with alcohol but it certainly helps with emotions.

yeah, I guess discussion some of the issues I have aside from drinking soo much would help maybe figure out the root of the problem, anyone can be an armchair psychologist, perhaps professional help could be a change of pace. Honestly really considering going this route.

>the CSS has come further than ever before, its a wonderful thing to see.

highly agree, as mentioned above.

>>6759

>I personally don't mind more anons especially if they are nice and all

most definitely, always leaves room for visitors to become future inhabitants. which is always a good thing.

>???

i can relate to ???, sometimes these gags go over my head, as mentioned in the past I understand the character. just may be wrong in what aspect its being used.

<"my job is done here' "but you didnt do anything"

whoosh hehe.

>why not just in case of mentioning it?

I have no issue with this, fine by me.

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 No.6761

File: 1fcf8d87f05e14c⋯.jpg (570.36 KB,950x1200,19:24,68572287_p0.jpg)

File: 705604143fe8c05⋯.png (239.85 KB,1903x878,1903:878,9rozen.png)

>>6757

Ah... How nice of you.

How do you feel about this doll?

>>6758

Good. You have plenty of time to practice, I guess.

>spoiler 2

Wakarimasen.

>Oh, just because the shoe fits after all.

I really don't think so. ^ ^

>I would consider it a gamble, very heavily dependent on where you live.

Why gamble when you can just take more pills? Take more pills answers everything.

Feeling tired? Take more pills.

Feeling sad? Take more pills.

Feeling too happy? Take more pills.

Feeling hungry? Take more pills.

Feeling full? Take more pills.

Worried that you have taken too many pills?

Take more pills.

>>6759

Good job. Dismissed!

>you have my agreement!

Well. Okay then.

>what about [busy] = [lazy]?

>oh, how about [live] = [drink]?

Seems like you're also busy right now, if not just lazy, but I'll think about your suggestions, I guess.

sigh

>the filter is not limited to this

And it wasn't limited to this. It was also applied to social media, messengers, invites and spam. But oh well.

>skooma and sujamma for drugs and alcohol

Interesting suggestion, but I don't think many would get the reference. And it's not very original, I guess.

>I think that I and II should be swapped if we're counting from majority to minority.

I also think so.

>also this pic can be somewhat applied to the desufags as well

Perhaps...

>a couple of type-Vs

More like one III and one V then, I guess. But I'm not sure about that.

>type-VII of course! no offense bud.

Hehe, got me, I guess.

>>6760

I hope so.

>however the question comes to mind, what happens after you dont need it anymore, the long term effects, dependency is always a weakness of mine.

You get rid of it. Slowly reducing the dosage. Going cold turkey will trigger the "full throttle" mode on the second day, schizzy feelings, hallucinations, anxiety, panic attacks, which all goes off in another two days. But I don't recommend doing that, it'd be uncomfortable. The only addiction you can get is psychological. If you have ~0 willpower, of course. But sure, it feels a lot, lot better than ethanol. Well, these are incomparable things, absolutely incomparable, I guess.

>well for one I feel I am the least experienced in such

It really doesn't matter, I guess.

>quite the watchful Christmas eyes you have there alpha

Some say I just have eyes everywhere. Maybe they're right in some way.

>Any advice you have in regards to the css (it is quite messy), I would love to know. still very new to doing such and would like to have it looking like this board, less clutter and easier on the eyes.

Why not. Let's see. Ah. Um. Ugh. What the... Is it just me, or after all these years, this, ahem, imageboard has become even crappier? How does he do it? It's just a fucking clusterfuck of... Ah, never mind. The number of hardcoded things is more than the amount of Asuka mugs moot has. Well, something like that, maybe? Pic related. Or is it time to change our motif a little bit? Unfortunately, I can't hand it to you right now, it's not finished like, at all, let's call it a quick sketch and crooked, because I wrote it on top of your css chunk, overwriting your rules. Why did you style OP blockquotes and info strings, but not the post-reply containers themselves?

>perhaps these can be used in this newer chan, if you haven't already experiment with it?

Not possible, this site is using a different imageboard script and has a different html/css, and no, I haven't. Until now, but it was from the outside.

>being prepared is one thing I like to be, if there is nowhere to go, perhaps as mentioned above can be of use, even creating a new /desu/.

Perhaps you're right. We can use this chan as a backup/transit place or bunker, I guess. Buggy as fuck though, and its front-end and interface... It's just... But at least it doesn't feel like it's being hosted in a shoe box under someone's bed. Someone who can't even make a 404 error page.

https://8kun.top/even_the_butthurt_dwarf/didnt_fuck_up_the_site_like_that/

>I do not see this chan going down any time soon

You never know. Small chans always tend to suddenly go down and die without any explanation or just because the admin got bored/v&. Especially if they're trying to imitate in some way/replace the other.

>hehe, i guess the least i can ask is for some context.

Ask Epsilon. It was him who called you that after all.

>Kind of funny seeing this >>6754 I guess I am not the only gintofag that is nutty, I know Suiginto attracts the crazies

You're definitely not the only one, hehe. But your kind is as far from the collective insanity of the desufags as it is from the stars, it's a long-established axiom, hehe. But you are practically the only competitors though, I guess. ^ ^

>no problem, in reality it gave me quite the giggle at how accurate some of them stereotypes are

I'm glad. So, what are you? How do you think?

>where did you find this?

I went to the abandoned catacombs beneath the clearnet, where I haven't been in a long time. We exchanged our drawings and findings, and I guess that this little picture was meant for you. A gift, I guess. Say hello! ^ ^

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 No.6762

File: a7fcb1ae71da361⋯.png (492.32 KB,1023x767,1023:767,85481166_p0.png)

I was so tired that I forgot to tell. I'm sorry. I hope you had a happy birthday.

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 No.6763

File: 45f521e811db047⋯.jpg (297.45 KB,726x832,363:416,45f521e811db0470d172071817….jpg)

>>6760

>Honestly really considering going this route.

Check to see if maybe your work provides employee resources that cover this? Mine do which is nice.

>>6761

>Good. You have plenty of time to practice, I guess.

Eheheh, yes indeed, no need to rush, I can practice to get it just right. I do have the arms well strung now, but the legs need work... it may be better to print the 16 point articulation legs than the 18, may give that a try, the current legs are... odd. But technically she is all strung and together, but a faceup is desperately needed.

>Take more pills.

Ahhh, but pills cost money.

>Worried that you have taken too many pills? Take more pills.

Ain't that the truth, in between switching from one pill to another, so i'm having to take both, when I want to take neither and not rely on them. Running out of pills and automated insurance systems delaying a refill is always scary.

>Some say I just have eyes everywhere. Maybe they're right in some way.

He knows when you are posting, he knows when you are awake~

>https://8kun.top/even_the_butthurt_dwarf/didnt_fuck_up_the_site_like_that/

heheheh

>>6762

Thank you, it was a good one, I somehow knew you would remember ^^

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 No.6764

File: d5cbef40324f601⋯.jpg (71.89 KB,420x430,42:43,1444244326166.jpg)

>>6761

> How do you feel about this doll?

Great. Although she's a lil bit ill-mannered and ruthless, i really really like her. Maybe even love, idk.

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 No.6765

File: 66b82b83f6c2343⋯.jpg (3 MB,1053x1679,1053:1679,85710277_p0.jpg)

Ah, I also remembered that the filter with the help of css was used for some sort of "emotes" for a short period of time, like in /miku/, I guess. But no one used it, so I deleted it.

>>6763

That's right, no need to rush.

>But technically she is all strung and together, but a faceup is desperately needed.

Good luck with that.

>Ahhh, but pills cost money.

They are more valuable than food, in fact, some of them can completely replace food at all.

>Ain't that the truth, in between switching from one pill to another, so i'm having to take both, when I want to take neither and not rely on them.

Truth. But one or two types of pills is not enough. And why wouldn't you want them?

>Running out of pills and automated insurance systems delaying a refill is always scary.

Only if you don't have several heavy boxes of pills of all colors and sizes in your room.

>Thank you, it was a good one

I'm glad.

>>6764

So nano ka...

Why? And would you like to meet her?

Zeta, I decided to finish this >>6761 css real quick, so, it's "done" if you can call it that. I would certainly not. I haven't come up with a workaround for bugs yet, it's missing a ton of things, and it looks awful, especially from the inside, but you can take it to play around, I guess. I don't know how it will look from the server side.

¯\(°_o)/¯

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 No.6767

File: 6a43182a5709495⋯.jpg (57.08 KB,600x730,60:73,6a43182a5709495688de9d645c….jpg)

>>6765

>Good luck with that.

I will need it! Faceups will be difficult, I started on a very rough one but I am going to need real paint instead of actual makeup, but it did work in a pinch so its not bare.

>They are more valuable than food, in fact, some of them can completely replace food at all.

Oh absolutely, I worry far more about making sure I take my pills in the morning than eating after all, even though I love breakfast.

>And why wouldn't you want them?

If I can control my emotions without them that would be nice, but that is a difficult task and will take time and patience. It is scary when the pills run out from time to time and insurance has an error. If I miss a day of pills my emotions can go crazy, its a scary experience to have to fear, even if it is rare.

Oh! I finally had a dream close to her! Sui wasn't in it per say, but her watering can, and Souseiseki's shears were! I had them, and I had to attack something with vines, I can't remember what, but it was something scary. I can't remember anything else right now, but still, its a step closer. I'm happy.

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 No.6768


        _,、-―――‐--、_
      ,ィ'´  ̄ ̄ ̄ `ー‐-、_   ̄`ー-、__
     /ー-、__        \      i
   /: : : : : : : : ̄`ー-、_.     \    /
   /: /: : : : : : : : : : : : : :, :\.     ヽ   /
  ,': /: :/: : : : :/: : : : :/:l:l: : \   ヽ /l
.  l: /: /: : : :/: : /:// l:ll: : : :ヽ    l/: :l!
.  l/!:/: : //: //// l:l l: : : : l   l: : :.l!
   l/: :l´トテ/ //_  l! .l: l: :.:l    l: : :.l!
   ヽ: :l! {:リ   .イC:ハヽ、. l:/: : l    .l: : :∧
    ヽ! ´    弋:::ソ ´ /l: : /l     ヽ: : ∧
     ゝ  、__    ̄   /./:/:.ヽ    ヽ: :.∧
     l\ ヽ  ̄ノ    /  ヽ:.ヽ    ∨: :\
     l  ` .、`´   ,、 </    ゝ、ヽ    ∨: : :\
.      l ./ィケ ` .´ ,、-‐'´   ,ィチノ´:::::ヽ    ∨: : : :\

>>6760

> leaves room for visitors to become future inhabitants. which is always a good thing

yeh, I'd love to see some actual activity outside of this thread.

> i can relate to ???

it's just the sudden disappearing and reappearing nature of you, confusing everyone on the way, so I came up with a goofy joke ehe, nothing more mate.

> I have no issue with this, fine by me.

that's settled then. yay.

>>6761

> Take more pills answers everything.

I sense the words of wisdom and experience.

> Good job. Dismissed!

jawohl!

> Seems like you're also lazy right now, if not just lazy

yup I was lazy for the first two days, then one day I was lazy, then lazy again, sorry.

> It was also applied to social media, messengers, invites and spam

yes yes

> And it's not very original, I guess.

you think so? damn.

> More like one III and one V then

eh, are you talking abou... ah, right. well you know better than I do.

> Or is it time to change our motif a little bit?

bokubokuboku.css or tomorrow-like variation when?

tomorrow-like variation, more like gintochan right, hah

> a backup/transit place or bunker

a new branch sometime in the future? that'd be soo cool.

> abandoned catacombs beneath the clearnet

eh-he-he, remember I told ya they were still around!

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 No.6769

> yup I was lazy for the first two days, then one day I was lazy, then lazy again

shit.

lol

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 No.6770

File: 5cda1c6aa8d8a97⋯.jpg (4.92 MB,1852x2137,1852:2137,37281127_p0.jpg)

>>6765

> Why?

She has abilities that let her heal mentaly ill people. Although being somewhat tsundere,.she cares about everyone or at least those who are close to her. She's also familiar with people and their behaviours. And the last but not the least, she's ultra cute.

> And would you like to meet her?

Yes.

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 No.6771

File: effde45201c9619⋯.png (325.61 KB,1000x600,5:3,69152136_p1.png)

>>6767

Actual makeup? Seriously?..

sigh

It could be useful to sketch the image that you want to see on her face, but nothing more, I guess.

>I worry far more about making sure I take my pills in the morning than eating after all, even though I love breakfast.

If you can worry, it means you're not taking enough pills, period.

>If I can control my emotions without them that would be nice.

Well, the thing is, you can't. But you can take more pills.

>It is scary when the pills run out from time to time and insurance has an error.

That's why you should have a storage box full of pills.

>dream

So you've chosen to fight the questions. Or was that "something scary" the unconscious aspect, therefore the Gardeners' Tools were given?.. Oops. Interesting, I guess. Very interesting. I wonder if I need Yuukafag there, or are we self-sufficient enough.

>>6768

>yup I was lazy for the first two days, then one day I was lazy, then lazy again, sorry.

Oh, I see, I see... Pathetic. You asked for it.

>you think so? damn.

I think so, I guess.

>bokubokuboku.css or tomorrow-like variation when?

When everyone will learn how to use user styles/when it will be possible to change between multiple css/when a new board will be created, I guess.

>a new branch sometime in the future? that'd be soo cool.

Sometime in the far, far future, I guess. Look at this board and think again, debil.

>eh-he-he, remember I told ya they were still around!

I don't need you to tell me that, you know.

>>6770

...I haven't heard a better description of Her in a long time. A long time.

>Yes.

Ah... I, yes, I ag... I, you, I lo... No, I want to... I have... I really... I'm...

...

I mean, me too, my dear.

Me too...

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 No.6774

File: 58e6c9f955f35b8⋯.png (226.17 KB,688x683,688:683,58e6c9f955f35b84a775966791….png)

File: bd5b0170a24a87d⋯.jpg (3.75 MB,4032x3024,4:3,20201120_130610.jpg)

>>6771

>It could be useful to sketch the image that you want to see on her face, but nothing more, I guess.

yes, exactly. it also helps her look less bare, as the completely barren face looks purely alien, especially when its a 3d printed face. Normal doll faces might look better, but theres just a subtle difference that a little bit of color helps fix. I do not yet have the paints I need for the proper faceup, and I need to dig out my brushes, wherever they may be.

>That's why you should have a storage box full of pills.

I'm stocking up, I am actually taking just under my dosage for some of my pills hehehe, no running out if there are shortages.

>So you've chosen to fight the questions. Or was that "something scary" the unconscious aspect, therefore the Gardeners' Tools were given?..

I'm not sure, I swear it was something I could remember during the dream, and shortly after, but it very quickly evaporated from my memory... or maybe it was unknown the whole time, i'm really not sure.

>>6770

her initial standofish nature that hides a sweet and caring heart is all too adorable. She is also able to forgive quickly those who no longer pose a threat to her or those she cares about, and from the very beginning values those around and their peace far more than becoming some promised "alice". Such a sweet and beautiful doll.

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 No.6776

File: f15a589a4b9fb59⋯.jpg (988.5 KB,1152x1536,3:4,5834157440026305873.jpg)

>>6774

Uh-huh. Something like that, I guess.

>under dosage

Meh.

>I'm not sure

Forget it and never talk about it again. ~desu

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 No.6777

File: f6f0b472554b745⋯.jpg (446.97 KB,732x1084,183:271,f6f0b472554b7457e63be0d120….jpg)

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 No.6778

File: 3fb6b05c418db02⋯.png (163.03 KB,700x700,1:1,2342.png)

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 No.6780


                   . __ ,. 二二 ___‐-=ミ
                  ,  ´/⌒^´___ ̄`⌒ヽ、`  .
.              /  / __r‐=彡'⌒⌒⌒ー=ミ、 \   \
.            /    /_ノ⌒′: : : : : : : : : : : : :ー=ミ ヽ   冫
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.       / : : : : : 〃     {{ し'   / {ノ /:::::::::::::{{     }}.:.:.|

>>6771

> You asked for it.

I tripped my own mine, ehe-he.

> Look at this board and think again, debil

such a dummkopf I am, sorry. but maybe someday... who knows?

> I don't need you to tell me that, you know.

alright alright. so why can't beta join us here?

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 No.6781

File: 14dc9a9720cb1e0⋯.jpg (141.37 KB,750x1038,125:173,67094769_p0.jpg)

>>6780

He said he won't until I "remove AIDS from this board". Don't ask me.

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 No.6782

>>6781

lol


                   _,、 -―‐-- 、_
                ,、-‐'´     ゝl /ヽ`ヽ、
               /  _ l./ノ    ̄ノlヽ `ヽ、`ヽ,
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        //ゝ!/_  ,ィ'``'´: : : :i!: : : ヽ、 ゝl/_ l    `.>、
       / / フ lヽ,ィ'´: : : : : : :.:l: :l.l:l: : : : :l フlヽ ヽ,  / /´
.      く  i  ノ´: : :l: l: : : : : /:./-i:ト、: : : ト、   l /!./
          \!ル l: : : : l: ll: : : : /!:/  'i! ヽ: : : :l ヽl.ノ.l: : :l´
           lノハ.l: :l: : ll:l!.l: :./ l/  ,、-‐- 〉: :.l フ lヽl:..: :.!
           l  l!: :l: :.l i! レ'_  /   ´   //!: :l   l: : : :!
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.        l/lハト、:.l/:ヽ  ""  _, -‐┐  l: :l ノl l: : _: : :l
.      ,-、......l ヽ: : : :'、    ∨   ノ.  ,.-,.:l  ノィ'ノ.`i: :i
.      | _|__.レl  ヽ: :、:.:>  _ `' ´ , ィ__|__|_...l/l ト-.、.):.:i
.      /  ‐-).. l:`ーl` `ー-、_ `.i'....(-‐    ゙i.゙l'´:::::::ヽ: :.l
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 No.6783

File: 6bfdcac437ccd3d⋯.png (17.27 KB,700x700,1:1,shrug.png)

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 No.6784

File: 2b11e02fac6085e⋯.png (8.95 KB,120x90,4:3,CharacterBalloonIcon391.png)

>>6776

>Forget it and never talk about it again.

o-okay. It's strange, im normally great at reading others dreams and discerning meaning, but not my own.

>>6778

Sorry, old get habits don't die easily ehhe

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 No.6785

File: d75f49cb607ab76⋯.jpg (325.84 KB,840x960,7:8,67817268_p0.jpg)

>>6784

Oh, old get habits, I see... But wait, how about your other old "anon" habits?

>Maybe one day, if that other community goes away we can be friends again. I plan on going back to anon if it ever goes away, but I am also loyal, so I can't turn my back on friends, otherwise i would have been lying to him too about the type of person I am. going back to anon I meant things like avatarfagging, being identifiable on boards, posting on ircs with desu nicknames, mentioning Sui, etc etc, becoming more unidentifiable, probably the way i should have stayed.

>I will wait until that places natural lifespan ends, and stick with it until the end, but after that, I will return much closer to regular anon behaviors.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Ah, yes, all the wasted time and words. Poor "him", poor, poor friends from that place... I guess it was really worth it back then, all the dramas, all the tears, he-he-he.

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 No.6786

File: 88be95514e1a88b⋯.png (337.77 KB,666x666,1:1,_.png)

>>6784

Also

>This feels terrible, i feel i want to tell him he was a good friend and at least wish him well and wish him happiness but im afraid that will hurt him more, and make it harder to forget about me.

>again, saddening, i would miss him dearly, selfishness wants me to try to persuade him to stay and talk to me quite badly, but, i also do not want to see him suffer.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But don't worry, I won't bring up anything related to "us", this garbage has long since rotted and decayed. I just found this piece from 2016 amusing. Like, very amusing.

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 No.6787

File: a35ceb9a74b87ae⋯.jpg (300.74 KB,1375x1907,1375:1907,71242249_p0.jpg)

>>6784

But let's get it straight to the point.

>I guess I do not need /desu/ if I have found other RM communities, other than as a place to leave the ftp and share more RM with people.

So, I'm wondering again, what are you still doing here then?

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 No.6788

File: 3bd7b82614e584d⋯.jpg (5.44 MB,3450x2400,23:16,62092550_p0.jpg)

Just a friendly reminder, don't take it too close, tee-hee. ^ ^

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 No.6789

File: 73c88eece702982⋯.jpg (513.75 KB,645x911,645:911,55891089_p0.jpg)

I'm sorry for the sudden senseless anger. I just wasn't getting along with zetsubou well for a moment, I guess. My mistake. ~desu

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 No.6791

zetsubou, zetsubou,

ze~

tsu~

bou!

it's alright, dear brother.

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 No.6793

File: 81046e64547a2b2⋯.jpg (152.2 KB,1120x1600,7:10,ten_days.jpg)

Zeta... Gin.

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 No.6794

File: 275084f297c67cc⋯.jpg (321.58 KB,702x1000,351:500,ECJiQfkU0AEIiVx.jpg)

I sleep

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 No.6796

File: 5e5d9b5537eb3fc⋯.png (20.97 KB,240x320,3:4,5e5d9b5537eb3fc8b43de6dbb0….png)

>>6785

a lot of that does, sound familiar indeed, it does sound like a lot of my feelings.

>>6787

>So, I'm wondering again, what are you still doing here then?

Places where I find her, I should be, thats how I feel about things. She leads me to places with her presence. and I like talking to you, you are wise and know many things I don't understand, and have an even deeper relationship to her than I do

and I feel like you are always there regardless, even if you left your presence would watch over me, but its comforting not scary. I just feel drawn to you, both of your halves, in a way I cannot really put words to.

Sorry if you didn't want this sort of reply, I am calmer than I have been before, i'm okay with talking about these things without freaking out emotionally now.

Or if you want to talk about silly things like the brain, or robotics, or whatever again im fine with that too

I'm sorry it took so long to respond

It's okay to be upset at me sometimes, I am a clumsy fool with relationships, and can be quite a pain to know

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 No.6797

File: c35f82902eebf3f⋯.jpg (306.06 KB,703x1000,703:1000,D9uRQhKUEAIUuiU.jpg)

May the desu be with you!

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 No.6798

File: 3679db373a60ca2⋯.jpg (181.74 KB,1600x2000,4:5,w_f498f3a9.jpg)

Nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks. Why do i do these things to my body?

>>6793

I am here, sorry i have not posted, It has been a lazy couple weeks, I am worn out. and the bottles have never tasted better. bleh.. nevermind, i feel gross. I hope you all are well. and getting along.

captcha:ginruj

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 No.6799

File: 38b752337e7cb57⋯.jpg (1.07 MB,1669x2224,1669:2224,70045459_p0.jpg)

>>6798

Same. In a way. Not just alcohol. Well, you know, I guess. But I can really understand you, I guess.

>Why do i do these things to my body?

This thought is especially painful when you remember that this is not entirely your body. Or even not your body at all, if you pledged it to someone else. But these are unnecessary details, I guess.

It's alright. It's okay. I just felt a little bit... Lonely and sad for some reason. I don't know why. Weird, isn't it? It was a very strange kind of sadness. Empty and bittersweet. It was as if the outside world had suddenly ended in its entirety. Or our inner one... My, myself... I'm sorry, I can't really explain it any better, I guess. Um. Just, don't be sad, okay?

And you will feel better because, because I want you to.

So glad you're here. So, so glad. ~desu

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 No.6800

File: e18175febc9afa2⋯.jpg (143.57 KB,651x900,217:300,Edlq79dUcAIgxtL.jpg)

>>6798

You must be careful, too much alcohol and you will get sick.

I hope you are otherwise okay though.

I ate too much food and got a bit bloated and sick, but a good rest and i'm feeling a bit better.

I may be sporadically here and there this week, as next week is cyber monday. Unfortunately I'm still tied to retail sales in a way, and I expect lots and lots of hard work ahead of me, so I may be quite worn out and sleepy throughout the week.

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 No.6801

File: 57b660e0f6bc058⋯.jpg (719.65 KB,2073x2900,2073:2900,65436715_p0.jpg)

>>>/reports/1750822

Why would I delete that thread? Are you still embarrassed that you american politics fags were manipulated and buttpummeled from both sides by the rozenfags? Or are you ashamed of what you said and did back then? I'm sorry, but I doubt it. No. It will go by itself or when the time will come, I guess. Be glad that their thread that mocked you is gone. By accident, I guess. Dismissed. ~desu

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 No.6802

File: 83c512d60167d62⋯.jpg (140.73 KB,636x900,53:75,Ek73oATU0AE8Pv6.jpg)

>>6801

wow, what kind of shit did I miss? American politics fags? I'm so glad I put that kindof shit behind me, politics is a nasty habit thats best broken.

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 No.6803

File: 0a4dce63f1f07e6⋯.png (1.32 MB,999x1000,999:1000,70847827_p0.png)

>>6802

>wow, what kind of shit did I miss?

The time when you were the board owner, heretic.

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 No.6804

File: 03f48fe14544399⋯.jpg (48.36 KB,500x600,5:6,1604429414_0.jpg)

>>6803

o-oh

ごめなさい

Wasn't me who reported anything though.

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 No.6805

File: 72c84ec7777f259⋯.png (280.34 KB,400x589,400:589,_45012.png)

>>6804

Mm-hmm. Sure.

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 No.6806

File: ac497ff39c30776⋯.png (401.48 KB,900x900,1:1,tumblr_pn5c9iUZ4E1qed35bo4….png)

>>6805

I truly mean it, don't you have access to post history of reporters, or did Jim remove features? Or was that a global only thing?

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 No.6807

File: b996502ffe69437⋯.png (68.22 KB,164x180,41:45,2020_10_08_20_40_46_Fortun….png)

>>6806

oh, I suppose, there are vpns. So you will just have to take my word then

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 No.6808

File: 35f6f51d0356db3⋯.jpg (111.61 KB,640x640,1:1,36160460_2012957982351645_….jpg)

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 No.6809

File: 2af92c5d75f6800⋯.jpg (115.85 KB,1090x920,109:92,haa.jpg)

Ahn. Yes. That's right. I see. I know what it's like, I guess. So, it's alright, I guess. It's not like we're in a rush or anything. Get some rest, take your time... Y-yeah. ~desu

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 No.6811

File: 2cc22a1429fdcfa⋯.jpg (142.27 KB,1771x1771,1:1,WHYTHEFUCKSOLOQ.jpg)

>>6809

Rush but slowly.

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 No.6813

File: a57975923b53ee6⋯.jpg (598.05 KB,717x1012,717:1012,65662098_p7.jpg)

>>6811

Limit of Quantitation? The LOQ is the limit at which the difference between two distinct values can be reasonably discerned. The LOQ may be drastically different between laboratories so another detection limit is commonly used that is referred to as the Practical Quantitation Limit (PQL).

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 No.6814

File: 3f9c41b19e16e0b⋯.jpg (346.1 KB,886x1000,443:500,35531167_p3.jpg)

>>6813

"why the fuck so low quality"

the image got jpeg'd badly

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 No.6815

File: a7b31149fdc6f2f⋯.png (228.76 KB,570x480,19:16,_0308_b.png)

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 No.6816

File: 2017531b8f4cf9b⋯.jpg (72.27 KB,600x500,6:5,3olAUfmQReE.jpg)

tired, how are you all?

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 No.6817

File: 3d8af6fc260c8b5⋯.png (245.07 KB,792x900,22:25,_55822.png)

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 No.6818

File: d098cd3cd8396d7⋯.jpg (129.14 KB,705x969,235:323,0OOWnzUtcRk.jpg)

>>6817

its been extremely lazy, and have had a major backlog that i am still tending to, luckily I managed to stay sober enough to get cracking on things. relax friend.

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 No.6819

File: 581652d1a12d08b⋯.jpg (137.39 KB,811x1200,811:1200,EGKEVGhU0AIv0Iz.jpg)

>>6816

little bit ill

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 No.6820

File: e77924c80ab0eb4⋯.jpg (1.26 MB,1938x1423,1938:1423,45740187.jpg)

heh, I see what you did there.

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 No.6821

File: ae92651b6d1d8e5⋯.png (75.42 KB,490x390,49:39,1896869_p3.png)

Hehe...

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 No.6822

File: 8255c0d8c7168f5⋯.jpg (75.75 KB,600x520,15:13,20827828_p1.jpg)

EpicNice GET. Again and again, not technically a GET, and is done by a certain disgusting poster, but who am I to judge, hehe? ¯\(°_o)/¯

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 No.6823

File: 3415aabe3240ba8⋯.jpg (184.94 KB,1081x1514,1081:1514,86025880_p0.jpg)

Gin-Gin... Well, I can wait some more, I guess.

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 No.6824

File: ff477c6b0c2bb7c⋯.jpg (677.99 KB,1298x890,649:445,0e124906528e26b71c48d3050f….jpg)

>>6823

just need a little more time, net evening should be perfect, promise. No giggle water tonight, heh.

On a side note, how are things looking, I need to look at it myself once tied to a chair. For now I rest, and I hope you do as well. Any things in particular I should know about?

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 No.6825

File: 04f1c6b428af08e⋯.jpg (263.7 KB,768x1024,3:4,82354102_p0.jpg)

>>6824

Okay-okay. ^ ^

By the way, how do you deal with depressants (GABA-stims, yeah, like ethanol (Of course, it's not like you're taking anything else, r-right?))? Somehow I always manage to stay fully conscious and think even if I can barely breathe and can't feel my face and limbs anymore.

But I often do the dumbest things in this condition. Like yesterday, thinking that disabling VPN to connect to I2P is for peasants and doing this:

[Ext IP]→[Dynamic anon IP provided by the ISP]→[Local proxy(WHY)]→[VPN]→[Second VPN]→[Throwaway proxy]→[Tor (for DIRECT to PROXY setting because the actual proxy was refusing)]→[|_ I2P _|-}

insert "Thomas The Tank Engine" theme here

Did it work? I still not quite sure how, but yes, it did. Did it crash my OS by RAM overload? Hell yes. Good thing I use automatic backups for drawing and writing. Well, at least you could say that I was literally behind seven proxies, I guess. Actually, more, but nevermind, I guess.

>On a side note, how are things looking, I need to look at it myself once tied to a chair.

I guess the easiest way will be... Ah, nevermind. You can install it as a userscript, but don't forget to specify the URL. Or you can just use something like Stylus and suffer like a white man. Really.

Also, add this at the very end of the script:


/* MARKED FOR DELETION (TOO OLD) */
article.thread:before {
display: none
}
.thread-replies-count {
background: transparent;
border: none;
padding: 0 0em;
}
.post-details > span.post-detail {
background: transparent;
margin: 0 0;
padding: 0 0;
}
.op-container .post {
background-color: transparent;
border: none;
}
/* MARKED FOR DELETION (TOO OLD) */

Yeah, that's right, overwriting your rules. Remove it if you decide to install this piece of dog vomit on your board.

You should seriously consider moderating it at least a little bit. ¬ ¬

>Any things in particular I should know about?

I think I need something to eat. And if something goes wrong, I will try to create a test board and see what I can do, I guess. And don't forget about the "Report" button if you want to show or hand something to me, I guess.

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 No.6826

File: 3c6836a3aa39bc1⋯.jpg (530.81 KB,717x1012,717:1012,65662098_p8.jpg)

Ah, I forgot that suffering is suffering. Hehe.

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 No.6828

File: ed94c3f287dd197⋯.jpg (59.35 KB,600x800,3:4,5b3048bcf2806476d58cf04715….jpg)

>>6825

very well, I will be looking this over and will be back to you once I start testing.

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 No.6829

File: db7a9999f827a8a⋯.png (1.04 MB,960x960,1:1,67802241_p1.png)

>>6828

Uh-huh...

~desu

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 No.6830

File: af8a55abd77c9d1⋯.jpg (847.97 KB,2292x3177,764:1059,72581677_p0.jpg)

Also don't forget about previous replies, uh, well, you can forget about them if you want, I guess, um, I don't know... ~desu

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 No.6831

File: 1996b626948bac7⋯.jpg (128.21 KB,850x900,17:18,3M5cEVHzyrE.jpg)

>Yeah, that's right, overwriting your rules. Remove it if you decide to install this piece of dog vomit on your board.

if it is possible, I would like to see it work.

>spoilers

sincerest apologies, I simply just wanted it as a testing ground, for learning css and finding what dolls reside in this demographic. Since it is serving a purpose I will gladly watch over.

>I will try to create a test board and see what I can do, I guess.

not to worry, I am not alone in this, a test board is already in existence, while learning from you. I am learning from another, a very trustworthy source that has helped my for some time. Hopefully you can say hi to in the future.

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 No.6832

File: 544d2161a63e7df⋯.png (1.92 MB,2508x3541,2508:3541,65183229_p0.png)

Ah. Oh. Okay, nevermind then, I guess... I'm sorry. It's alright. Okay...

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 No.6833

File: 63ff24c2b2ba36d⋯.png (4.01 KB,46x45,46:45,SuiSitting.png)

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 No.6834

File: 11f00941214ebe5⋯.jpg (17.19 KB,200x200,1:1,36739964_p0_master1200.jpg)

I think I made a grave mistake.

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 No.6835

everyone's tips are important, I really want to get good at this.

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 No.6836

File: 145ad5243a0ad41⋯.png (289.84 KB,1857x713,1857:713,Capture.PNG)

>>6835

i will cancel, if that is wanted, only wanted to help.

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 No.6837

File: 70781c954ad47eb⋯.png (176.56 KB,360x480,3:4,37216548_big_p3_3_.png)

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 No.6838

File: a3745c7b0b45653⋯.png (Spoiler Image,250.79 KB,1920x1006,960:503,index1.png)

File: 3bf88b0ca28677d⋯.png (Spoiler Image,203.96 KB,1920x1006,960:503,index2.png)

File: 6e5b7d2e1511554⋯.png (Spoiler Image,376.71 KB,1920x1006,960:503,thread1.png)

File: baecfcb23c9d46e⋯.png (Spoiler Image,165.74 KB,1920x1006,960:503,thread2.png)

File: 060dac05cf1e2a3⋯.png (Spoiler Image,368.91 KB,1920x1006,960:503,catalog1.png)

>>6836

You're doing it wrong.

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 No.6839

File: ef81ec6567cf356⋯.png (Spoiler Image,389.4 KB,1920x1006,960:503,catalog2.png)

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 No.6840

File: 5a2a856fefca55d⋯.jpg (195.16 KB,1200x1491,400:497,2avYCkd1uQk.jpg)

>>6839

trying to get things working, there is a limit to this, not sure what wizardry you did to get it working.

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 No.6841

File: 35717150100b413⋯.png (2.82 KB,1015x42,145:6,Capture.PNG)

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 No.6842

File: 80df3869ca08b6d⋯.jpg (118.01 KB,831x799,831:799,MuGFaZ5ATKQ.jpg)

File: 5cc764d4a6991e6⋯.png (22.17 KB,472x60,118:15,hmm.png)

just need to get these working, does everything look alright?

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 No.6843

File: 42fd620007a6b60⋯.jpg (2.72 MB,3024x3024,1:1,65866743_p0.jpg)

>>6831

>sincerest apologies, I simply just wanted it as a testing ground, for learning css and finding what dolls reside in this demographic

I'm sorry. I misunderstood you. For some reason, I thought you were asking me to write css for you, not to teach it to you. And I thought this was a backup board for all of us, not a "testing ground". And you also have another board...

We don't have any use, I guess.

>not to worry, I am not alone in this, a test board is already in existence, while learning from you. I am learning from another, a very trustworthy source that has helped my for some time. Hopefully you can say hi to in the future.

I'm, I'm sorry. I understand. I just had a very strong and painful deja vu from this line. Nevermind. I'm sorry.

And I don't want to and won't see any "future", I guess.

Well, I corrected a few things and left /* comments */ everywhere I could, I guess. You can get it at >>>>/9/desu/desu.css and look at >>>>/9/desu/.

But...

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 No.6844

File: ea170227db6bff0⋯.webm (1.98 MB,480x360,4:3,Stallman_freaks_out.webm)

But.

>>6840

>>6841

>>6842

I don't understand. I don't understand what are you trying to do. I didn't use any external links. What wizardry? You can't just use copy/paste?

>rozen.css

What is it? Are you trying to slowly replicate the style by yourself, one by one, line by line, or what? How are you going to get "these" working? The fuck? What are those borders around .thread-replies-count? I don't understand! What the hell am I supposed to do?!

>does everything look alright?

No!

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 No.6845

File: 5d7da437ad0901e⋯.jpg (1.12 MB,2500x2500,1:1,49137003_p0.jpg)

>>6843

>I thought this was a backup board for all of us, not a "testing ground". And you also have another board...

I just simply cant understand why you would trust me in such a matter, I am more than happy following you and learning from you. I don't want to be in such a position, but if its entrusted in me I would do everything I can to see it through the best path as I can. As I said a year ago "my will is as strong as ever, unbreakable." I mean that.

>you also have another board

I have a genuine fascination of imageboards I have followed them for quite a while, and do the best to keep up with them. of course I would likely care for a board and such, this was mentioned almost two years ago. I understand how you feel, but I have laid any backing out on the table.

>spoilers

Your help means everything, I care for Rozen Maiden as much as anyone in this spectrum, and I will continue to do what I can to not let such a view wither away, its easy to let things go decrepit

>spoilers

I understand, and thats fine. I just want to help.

>>6844

>You can't just use copy/paste?

tried, for some reason didnt work.

>What is it? Are you trying to slowly replicate the style by yourself, one by one, line by line, or what?

hehe.... yes, was not sure what needed some help. perhaps tried to fix something that did not need to be fixed, oh god i feel stupid.

>No!

mercy!

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 No.6846

File: ecd5d0e7b11185c⋯.png (395.44 KB,1280x470,128:47,nofightingdesu.png)

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 No.6847

File: 11b9a9a130ef315⋯.png (1.46 MB,720x1280,9:16,64819019_p0.png)

>>6845

>I just simply cant understand why you would trust me in such a matter

I don't know... Maybe it's because I have no one left to trust in such matters. ~desu

>I don't want to be in such a position

Then don't be, I guess... I'm not forcing you to do anything, really. Why you...

>Your help means everything

That's not true. Stop saying things like that please...

>I just want to help.

sigh

>tried, for some reason didnt work.

But it works now. Very weird. ¬ ¬

>hehe.... yes, was not sure what needed some help.

...

>mercy!

Grab the new version from my board and replace this fucking bugfest, please. I'm embarrassed.

>>6846

You! You... You shut up!!! ~desu

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 No.6848

File: 364f64800c3a133⋯.jpg (205.7 KB,600x685,120:137,1198432310170.jpg)

>>6847

O-okay

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 No.6849

File: 90776e3aab30f03⋯.png (1.18 KB,200x60,10:3,facepalm.png)

"Not publicly indexed"

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 No.6850

File: 516f1bad6404417⋯.png (1.7 MB,1400x1800,7:9,3257af7b808555274948696e6b….png)

>>6847

>I have no one left to trust in such matters. ~desu

don't worry, I am here, not going anywhere.

>I'm not forcing you to do anything, really. Why you...

even if the worse I want to always be there.

>That's not true. Stop saying things like that please...

you may not like it, but that's how it be, heh..

>I'm embarrassed.

ahhh its not easy being stupid

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 No.6851

File: 04a1e8153561ca5⋯.jpg (249.05 KB,900x910,90:91,68278217_p2.jpg)

>>6850

...

Th-Thank you...

But I still don't agree with you about myself.

^ ^

>ahhh its not easy being stupid

I know, my dear. That's why I'm embarrassed. For myself, silly. ^ ^

You can get new css from /desu/desu.css in case you forgot.

Also >>6761 but it's alright if you don't feel like replying, I guess. ~desu ~♥

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Post last edited at

 No.6852

>>6850

>>6851

Ah, right, don't forget to Ctrl+F5 the css page before copying. ~desu

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 No.6853

Cute thread with cute posters. try stay strong desuers.

Love the aesthetics

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 No.6854

File: b923a654967b78c⋯.jpg (472.32 KB,2120x1079,2120:1079,61911168_p2.jpg)

>>6853

Thank you!.. ~desu ~♪

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 No.6855

File: 864ca5871556eb8⋯.png (183.66 KB,371x336,53:48,SleepyDesu.png)

>>6850

>>6851

I've got to agree with zeta, why do you think I stick around even when berated. You are wiser than you know

Also, you never replied to >>6774 pic related

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 No.6858

File: d9d31c336fbaf45⋯.jpg (343.52 KB,724x615,724:615,61252893_p7.jpg)

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 No.6859

File: a21cb098671f2d6⋯.jpg (567.75 KB,1600x1600,1:1,68476464_p1.jpg)

Sweet dreams... ~desu

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 No.6860

File: a9b576513799979⋯.png (183.21 KB,500x550,10:11,a9b57651379997948d07e5156e….png)

>>6859

>>6859

Thank you, my rest was pleasant and dreams were fine. none of major importance to report I think though.

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 No.6861

File: 0bb1093e22e6aef⋯.jpg (2.04 MB,1457x2064,1457:2064,64690701_p0.jpg)

Well, hehe, that was interesting, I guess. ~desu

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 No.6862

File: 9e3e38127d79bfd⋯.png (595.77 KB,750x565,150:113,9e3e38127d79bfdac4ac29f80f….png)

Hot cocoa is good, especially with marshmallows in winter time.

Also good work you two. CSS is looking nice!. Makes me miss dabbling with css, even if I was no good.

How do you learn all this stuff, just practicing and giving yourself projects to work on?

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 No.6863

File: 530b2c1253154ba⋯.jpg (214.96 KB,719x800,719:800,60567623_p0.jpg)

>>6862

Instant heartburn and pain in the pancreas. Tasty, I guess...

>Also good work you two. CSS is looking nice!

Thank you, but nothing nice about it. Still the same ancient copy-that-copycat. I need to think about something similar but completely new for the sister boards. Certainly not the /ro/, /de/ or /su/ themes. Perhaps something like I did with rmbooru? I don't know. I'm not sure. I'll wait for Zeta's word on that matter, I guess.

I hope josh won't get mad at us if I create yet another "unlisted" top board for this clowning.

>How do you learn all this stuff, just practicing and giving yourself projects to work on?

I didn't learn anything. As a desufag, I was born with all the necessary knowledge. ~desu

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 No.6864

File: 2b2ee2ffddf60d3⋯.jpg (21.89 KB,480x449,480:449,vomit_chan.jpg)

Damn it, it's an overdose.

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 No.6865

File: efb7e50f39faad5⋯.jpg (388.42 KB,768x1024,3:4,62384879_p0.jpg)

What a nice December. And a nice solar flare too. Maybe this winter... At last... Maybe.

Maybe.

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 No.6866

File: a104437b1f1f0d8⋯.png (790.59 KB,800x1000,4:5,66228425_p0.png)

I'm freezing!!!

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 No.6867

File: d7ff013daee27d0⋯.png (864.66 KB,1000x900,10:9,62079099_p0.png)

>>6866

I'm tired.

Would like to be freezing though. No heat, no thoughts, no pain, just some peaceful sleep.

Where are you, how are you, I wonder...

sigh

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 No.6868

File: d878d6f9f212fd4⋯.jpg (279.93 KB,1650x1435,330:287,EomgCSFVEAAppsq.jpg)

>>6865

Ohh, can solar flares like that be seen with the naked eye or do you have a telescope?

>>6866

wrap up in some blankets, layer them up, like a fort. that or wear a green dress with many petticoats

>>6867

peaceful sleep is nice. but the snow has gone away for now and has yet to come back

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 No.6869

File: 63f172ac402a365⋯.png (533.3 KB,700x780,35:39,58413989_p0.png)

Ah.

I see...

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 No.6870

File: 9619be12cc05590⋯.png (509.49 KB,540x812,135:203,58898727_p0.png)

Remember when you gave me a Koto Inari image pack? I remember. Did you play "3rd Eye" by any chance?

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 No.6871

File: d0948895ccad458⋯.jpg (986.92 KB,918x1632,9:16,57736663_p1.jpg)

>>6868

I have a telescope, and I suppose you know about it. Now what's the next stupid question? But I don't need one for that when there are solar observatories, GOES-16, SDO, SOHO, etc.

And when the coronal ejection reaches right down to Earth, you don't need any of that to see/feel it.

>peaceful sleep is nice.

Aha. So you agree with me, I guess. That's right. Good.

>but the snow has gone away for now and has yet to come back

Hmph! What a shitty and horrible place. ~desu

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 No.6872

File: 1dd065bf744c330⋯.jpg (72.94 KB,477x680,477:680,EoO22a4UcAAqecz.jpg)

>>6871

>spoiler

Sorry for being such a forgetful bird brain, I make okuu look like a genius sometimes I swear

I should pay attention for when their will be another, it might be fascinating to see, I've never seen one.

>Hmph! What a shitty and horrible place

and it gets shittier, riots, police, turning into a real shitshow at this pace. But im far from the center of that storm, and taking steps to keep further away from now on. Gotta start avoiding the cities.

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 No.6873

File: 5a21bde5d4acafa⋯.png (670.73 KB,900x1200,3:4,56217679_p1.png)

File: 7f45dfd25a4cbf3⋯.png (7.64 KB,751x471,751:471,flares_20201130.png)

File: 59e94a5dcfd7fca⋯.png (7.6 KB,751x471,751:471,flares_20201208.png)

>>6872

Sometimes, huh? Don't you dare insult my pets.

>it might be fascinating to see, I've never seen one.

Now you have, I guess.

>riots, police

yawn

Boring, boring~ No snow - that's the real shitshow, absolutely disgusting and is beyond unacceptable. ~desu

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 No.6874

File: a326e6368e8d948⋯.jpg (135.58 KB,691x1200,691:1200,EmIVAzkVoAIdubd.jpg)

>>6873

>sometimes

most times

>spoiler

ah no no, just playful banter. I really love Okuu, she's my third favorite touhou!

>Now you have

Ohhhh, oh, so its watching measurements not actually seeing the sky yes? Now I feel silly for misunderstanding.

Well, snow will come back, at some point here. But i'm a little glad. give me just a few more days of safe no snow roads before I change jobs, then come back.

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 No.6875

File: c1d9f01e729c33d⋯.jpg (850.76 KB,869x875,869:875,34312186_p4.jpg)

File: 9fc79f7a38467d0⋯.mp4 (3.97 MB,1024x1024,1:1,20201129_aia_0171.mp4)

>>6874

That's better. ~desu

>I really love Okuu, she's my third favorite touhou!

Ah, I see, Orin must be your fourth favorite touhou then. Good, good. Do you get it? I guess you do. No-no-no, no bugs allowed, well, unless she's your fifth favorite or something, I guess.

>Ohhhh, oh, so its watching measurements not actually seeing the sky yes?

Well, you can always look at images from the SDO telescopes and make animations out of them, I guess.

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 No.6876

File: b561dfe958440bc⋯.jpg (168.93 KB,1331x1130,1331:1130,EkxgxIgUcAIVI4P.jpg)

>>6875

wouldn't you have guessed orin would be number two? or chen for that matter? Actually 4 is Flandre

Hehehe, oh wow, you are right, bugs, hmmm, now my list is all jumbled. I want like, 5 #2's. But mystia is #1 always.

>animation

Ohhh wow that is cool. But yes, i understand now, telescope only. Sadly no money nor room for a telescope. But if there are any fantastic phenomenon visible by eyesight I wouldn't mind seeing them.

Also it snowed, of course, hehehe, nothing too bad thankfully. Not like the blizzard that came unexpectedly months ago. Normally I am not against it but when you have to drive all day in it opinions change quickly.

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 No.6878

File: 72b47cc95096090⋯.jpg (49.48 KB,480x640,3:4,55757026_p0m.jpg)

>>6876

Ah. You didn't get it at all. A shame, a shame. Well, nevermind then.

>spoiler 1

She is #69 on my list, Mystia is not too far from her, #67. Ew, you know what, now I think I don't want to see your tohosort.

>But yes, i understand now, telescope only. Sadly no money nor room for a telescope.

Even more, you'll have to buy yourself some room in geosynchronous orbit at nearly 36000 km altitude in order to use the SDO telescopes. But you can use them remotely at sdo.gsfc.nasa.gov/data/ for free, I guess.

>But if there are any fantastic phenomenon visible by eyesight I wouldn't mind seeing them.

Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. Maybe you'll see something. Or just look at my picture. ~desu

>spoiler 2

Well, your opinions always change quite rapidly, I guess.

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 No.6879

File: aff3f1472c194ec⋯.png (96.26 KB,261x449,261:449,2020_12_12_17_07_20_image1….png)

>>6878

>>6878

argh, yes its true, you caught me, i missed the joke.

>Spoiler 1

Oh come now, is it so wrong to adore the touhou who got me into the series so much? Mystia's theme was my first point of entry and remains my favorite theme still.

I wouldn't mind seeing your tohosort

>link

oh wow, cool! It's great that such resources are available to the public. The fact that we can look at the sun like this, at the click of a button, really is a marvel. I should spend more time appreciating such things.

>Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. Maybe you'll see something.

True true. You may appreciate this, they accurately rendered the stars in cyberpunk 2077, you can look up and see orion, i was shocked that they went out of the way to render such detail. Sadly the sky is cloudy tonight, so I will have to make due and see if that was a one cutscene thing or constant.

>last spoiler

some perhaps, some less easily, and some don't like to budge... but my feelings for my last job, definitely the prior

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 No.6880

>>6873

ouch that pic scared me

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 No.6881

File: a6a39241ba148c3⋯.jpg (4.19 MB,3104x2196,776:549,57334846_p0.jpg)

>>6879

There was no joke. You made the inhabitants of Chireiden very disappointed.

>You may appreciate this, they accurately rendered the stars in cyberpunk 2077, you can look up and see orion, i was shocked that they went out of the way to render such detail.

I have neither the energy nor the desire to play something like that just to look at the night skybox. And I may as well just take a hi-res photo image or a render from spaceengine that's some serious loaf trolley and put it in, I don't know, source, mmd or TES3/FNV, I guess. And watch it. Or just run Stellarium. I don't get it, realistic night sky textures have become such a rarity in nowadays videogames? To the point of shock upon seeing? Tsk...

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 No.6882

File: ba68d6bcc2fec01⋯.jpg (99.08 KB,680x680,1:1,EkxBnVkUYAAWoTW.jpg)

>>6881

>spoiler

Oh dear, I hope they can forgive me. I wont ask for an explanation, I will have to figure it out in my own time... eventually. My expertise is more on the residents or erm, refugees i suppose, of the moon, rather than of hell. And scarlet devil mansion but everyone knows that.

I have finished cyberpunk, so perhaps its time to get back to playing some more touhou, its been too long.

>stellarium

oh this looks fascinating, Just the web version alone is great,

>become such a rarity in nowadays video games?

Hmmm, i'm not really sure to be honest, just the first time ive noticed it. I suppose it was the first time ive seen it brought up in a conversation between characters, and instead of spotting the constellation mentioned i saw orion. It forced me to notice how good the textures were when I probably just wasn't looking closely before.

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 No.6884

File: 42ba6fb6682f39a⋯.jpg (405.11 KB,605x800,121:160,54992309_p2.jpg)

>>6882

...

Mm-hmm.

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 No.6885

File: 4ec053c69f2542b⋯.jpg (115.53 KB,300x300,1:1,86394712_p24.jpg)

It's all not real anyway.

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 No.6886

File: 0b9b70393b0dc53⋯.jpg (157.86 KB,700x521,700:521,86394712_p39.jpg)

Especially myself.

δδ δδδδδ _ δ

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 No.6887

File: 5965dac4ffccd33⋯.jpg (79.73 KB,770x900,77:90,EpHeSISUwAA2YJ9.jpg)

>>6885

>>6886

real, not real, does that truly matter?

Even if its all just a clams dream, that's okay.

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 No.6890

File: c9bc2d82a1c170e⋯.jpg (6.59 MB,2480x3508,620:877,83080332_p0.jpg)

>>6887

There's no real.

And that's not okay. I'm tired of it. I can't tell dreams from delusions and "reality". I can't tell what's "real" and what's "not real". I want to wake up.

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 No.6891

File: 1f54a34ef65122a⋯.png (186.5 KB,1080x2069,1080:2069,Starry_Sky.png)

>>6890

Oh dear, i'm sorry, i wish there were something I could do to help, or even understand better.

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 No.6892

File: ae995eaf50bd96d⋯.jpg (134.1 KB,600x600,1:1,283f11ff9930628c2e847d0040….jpg)

will return soon, nails.. just nails.

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 No.6893

File: a6eac16db6d3c24⋯.png (968.31 KB,1446x1662,241:277,86447015_p0.png)

Please, don't mind me. Please, please, please. ~desu

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 No.6894

File: edaf43049c3bb95⋯.jpg (87.11 KB,2048x2048,1:1,127046782_921792085019384_….jpg)

>>6893

Ok. Fret not.

did you enjoy the picture. I drew this one

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 No.6895

that one, with the stars, not this one the padoru

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 No.6896

File: 61d87eec51989e8⋯.jpg (498.89 KB,725x1000,29:40,48238663_p0.jpg)

Wish you merry christmas ~desu!!!

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 No.6897

File: 1d04af4fb267c4d⋯.jpg (710.38 KB,857x1024,857:1024,60280070_p0.jpg)

>>6896

Merikuri... ~desu

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 No.6898

File: 009628aa1af20cd⋯.jpg (267.25 KB,500x707,500:707,009628aa1af20cd553768dee40….jpg)

>>6896

Merry Christmas ~desu!

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 No.6899

>>6870

I do remember that there is a game based on his arts, though I don't remember any details. Gotta take a look again, I guess. H-hi.

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Post last edited at

 No.6900

Uuuhhh. >_<

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 No.6901

File: 5f726dbc17dde60⋯.jpg (159.84 KB,473x660,43:60,36616e35cb2a831c7527c884b2….jpg)

merry christmas, Alpha, Delta, Epsilon, all of you. Wish you all well! now I sleep.

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 No.6902

File: e3084c13b229541⋯.png (707.84 KB,960x540,16:9,red_green.png)

File: 1774a3192500491⋯.jpg (41.12 KB,850x478,425:239,B2v1gJ6CAAE_59.jpg)

God Jul

Good Yule

it's been years since my last visit

nice to know that the board has been restored even though I don't have much time to be around anymore

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 No.6903

posting answers to locked thread

>>5411

I know this is years too late and I'm unable to find the files for that model

I'm unable to find any of my JanusVR files sadly

If I still have them they are on a disk that crashed a few years back, them and the edited version of the model in posts >>914 >>933

I do however still have the original files for that model and the zip containing those files and I've uploaded them at the time of this post, don't know for how long they'll stay available

https://bayfiles.com/R0qeq420p6/RMSuiseiseki_7z

maybe I'll try to fix it again, but don't get your hopes up

God Jul

Good Yule

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 No.6904

File: 44a934414084e27⋯.png (805.5 KB,1000x1200,5:6,72494558_p0_.png)

Ah, aw-aw-aw...

>>6899

Y-yes! You should definitely check it out, I guess! I'm sure you'll love it... I guess... I don't know. I'm, I'm not really sure, I guess. Have you played "Fran Bow" by any chance? Maybe I told you to play it? Or, perhaps, we played it "together", well, if you can call it that? Or not... I'm really, really sorry, I don't remember... I'm not fooling around, my memory really is hazy now! Eh, don't ask why. But the game mechanics kinda remind me of it, that's what I remember for sure. And certain other things too, I guess.

H-hi... Um. N-nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who should be apologizing. My dear, my precious piece of my soul. Where have you been, how have you been?.. Please. Please, forgive me. Me, a heartless paranoid schizophrenic imbecile. Only forgiveness. I'm not asking for anything more. I, I understand everything. I remember your words from 202 days ago. Vaguely, but I remember. My words, too. Just let me feel your presence in my dreams without pain and regret, in my everlasting hellish kaleidoscopic dream. Please. My lovely lovely continuation of myself.

I just didn't want you to be alone. I just wanted to make you happy, even if just a little, little bit. And I utterly failed. Again.

I have failed you. I have failed everyone.

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 No.6905

File: 6dddf6f347a3fae⋯.jpg (241 KB,520x500,26:25,86493446_p0.jpg)

>>6901

Merikuri~ to you too, Zeta. I hope everything's okay. Sleep well. ~desu

>>6902

>>6903

And you too. Welcome, again. ~desu

The thread is now unlocked. You may repost it there, if you want. If it wasn't necessary, just say so.

I have the >>5424 model, but the files are scattered across the folders because I was trying to reinvent the wheel by converting it to .pmx manually, but I'm sure the original archive still lies somewhere on the disk. If I find it, I'll surely give it back to you. It's just that the filename is... Very inconvenient for me, if you know what I mean. ~desu

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 No.6906

File: 95cd762cdf65dae⋯.png (1.03 MB,1546x1314,773:657,95cd762cdf65dae92c448c25cd….png)

>>6903

Ill take a look when i return home from relatives, give me a few days. I know i have my janus files still

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 No.6907

Simple, but pretty decorations. You do retain good taste.

>>6904

> Y-yes! You should definitely check it out, I guess! I'm sure you'll love it... I guess... I don't know. I'm, I'm not really sure, I guess.

I see, they finished it this time around. I will... That is, when I'll reach out to my windows.

> Have you played "Fran Bow" by any chance?

Not quite sure, but should have, a long time ago. It does happen all the time, I notice that my memory tends to fail me as well.

> spoiler

I am fine. Just tired, pretty much so. Environment simply won't leave me alone, perhaps, not in this life. And I feel much like orange from dsaf: a fake human, a soulless husk with only smiling appearance, ha-ha. Well, I am, but then there are those who are like that since their birthday. But you, yes, YOU, you are real, because you feel and think, a lot, which is a sign that there is God (whatever it is) in you.

And towards you, I swear, I do not recall ever having feelings that would call for forgiveness. It's just that... I thought that you, perhaps, patched up and upgraded yourself, through experience, ultimately developing sort of immunity against close attachments. And became a little bit more whole. That's how it appeared to me. You know, I also always thought that no relationship can possibly be better than wholeness, completeness in oneself, which I also (perhaps mistakenly) thought of as a trait of certain rozen maiden. So I watched. I did not want to disturb you anymore... I see now. A human is still a human, whether it's you or me or him or other personas you are familiar with. And about what happened back then... I feel sorry, too.

> spoiler 2

Believe me or not, in the first place, I, too, must have instinctively reached out because of the very same feelings. You appeared so undeservingly desolate. As for me... However wistful I probably appeared to be, I grew up as a rather materialistic person. And if there are things that can make me happy, they are unreachable for me now.

> spoiler 3

It is me who should be saying this. It was me who failed you. Remember how many empty promises I gave to you? I floated in illusions, believing that everything can be done as long as there is drive. I failed to see reality, as well as my naivety and ignorance. And it only brought more disappointment and anxiety to us both. I am sorry about that.

There is no entity on this dirty iron ball that would ever be able to replace you in my heart, if that matters to you. But then, I just want to know that you are good, even... if such sentiments are simply yet another rudiment of human nature.

I saw you in my dreams. And recently I somehow began to see even more things than before, many of which one would find repulsive, too. He-he.

May healing green light illuminate your dreams.

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Post last edited at

 No.6908

> snow.swf

Thank you very much. Beautiful winter oasis after awful sizzling day...

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 No.6909

>>6907

Uh-huh. I'm glad. ^ ^

>Not quite sure, but should have, a long time ago.

I'm sure you'll like it too. Probably. I think.

>It does happen all the time, I notice that my memory tends to fail me as well.

I really hope I didn't infect you with my insanity through our unconscious connection.

>I am fine.

I hope that's true. I'm tired as well, very tired.

>Environment simply won't leave me alone, perhaps, not in this life.

I wish I could take you away from there so badly... But I wouldn't wish to anyone to stay that close to me, even to the enemy. That would be even worse for you, I guess... T T

>spoiler 1-2

That's not true. You're the most alive, most real, most lovely material being I've ever met. You're confusing yourself with me. I'm an empty shell, just a mere shadow, an imitation, a memory of a long deceased person, that the Goddess you mentioned takes care of.

>spoiler 3

She had indeed patched up that hole to the abyss underneath us, one of many countless other ones, to delay the inevitable takeover and assimilation by the ill unconscious. But there's almost nothing you can do about me, I guess. The me who's talking now. There's something missing in me, something important, something I tore off from myself and gave to you, I guess, and I can't help but think about you all the time. I'm sorry.

>spoiler 4

Is that so... Then it makes me absolutely the opposite, and speaking materially, those things are not unreachable for me... They are non-existent. But I understand what you're talking about, I guess. I'm sorry...

>spoiler 5

No. It was me who started to close my mind from you, wear masks, fool around or whine, and constantly disappoint you in every aspect to the point where anyone else would literally just go away. But you didn't. By the time I realized it, it was too late, I guess... Do you, do you seriously think that some so called unfulfilled promises would make me love you any less? Silly, silly, silly! And don't blame yourself for my irresponsibility, insensitivity, selfishness, stupidity and desperate, bitter, evil nature. It's me who is constantly floating in illusions in my narrow, demented paranoid world of delusions.

>spoiler 6

Hey, th-that's my line... Yes, I guess so. That matters a lot to me. To the real me or not, I don't care. It does. As for those sentiments you're talking about... Simply yet another rudiment of human nature, you say... You're right, I guess. You're right. Huh, it feels so cold when it happens. My eyes hurt. I need to think. I understand. I just need to think.

>spoiler 7

Interesting. I wouldn't mind if you share something from your experience.

Thank you. May the green starlight point you to the right decision.

>>6908

How strange. It's -35°C over here.

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 No.6910

>>6909

Yep. I do have some experience. Whacko fits, nasty surprises, damaged furniture, destroyed equipment... To heck with it. Gosh darn.

> spoiler 3

Obviously. Why need some artificial external constructs when there is so much going on in your world already? I already understood your attitude on this. My wishes also are within certain contexts, because outside of them there is only ugly orange void. But it's not like I can simply leap out into it, unfortunately, I am not Buddha, and not even a monk. Well, this much is generally considered normal.

> spoiler 6

It is rather disorderly when not properly recorded, you know. After all, I don't appreciate it that much. I fell asleep shortly, straight to the deeper part. And was sneered at again.

> How strange. It's -35°C over here.

Um, I did not mean it in a literal sense.

> other spoilers

You still imagine so much. And worry. And blame yourself needlessly. Even though there is no need to. Let it all hush, for it is all irrelevant, more so now.

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 No.6911

>>6910

Is that so... That is how it is. Well. I knew it was going to be like this. There wasn't a doubt in my mind it was going to be like this. But it was worth a try, right? Right? ^ ^

>Why need some artificial external constructs when there is so much going on in your world already?

Yeah, that's right. So much cold broken glass and crooked inside-out memories, an endless looped flow, so much fear and regret, so much mockery and hatred, all while this world turns into rust and collapses together with our body and the last shards of my mind. What more could you ask for? At least, if won't end it by myself, there will be no attitudes, wishes and contexts, inside or outside, everything will be swallowed up, tortured and grinded by the beautiful chaotic screaming black void, and happiness or any another rudiment of human nature won't matter to me at all as I will cease to exist, only the terrified scattered remains will be left, constantly begging for death, but no one will ever hear them. Fascinating, isn't it? I feel so sorry for you, Orange Man. Maybe eventually you'll reach your happiness and fill your void with it. I'm sure it can be filled up, unlike mine, which will fill me instead.

I'm sorry.

>After all, I don't appreciate it that much.

Well, forget it then.

>Um, I did not mean it in a literal sense.

I apologize.

Thank you for all your kind words, Delta. We've been waiting for this for so long. Now we can close and seal it in peace. I'm sorry. I should have done better, but some things just aren't meant to be, I guess.

You will find an entity that will be able to replace me in your heart. As for me... I'm history, I guess. I'm sorry for bothering you. I'm so sorry.

Don't be sad. I want you to be smiling. You will be happy. I promise.

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 No.6912

>>6911

Why do you not understand... Or is it me? I really believed that maybe someday I can bring YOU with me. Even if it would be fake "plastic" imaginary happiness, I did believe... Sigh.

And why would it turn up with this bullshit now. What am I even supposed to do.

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 No.6913

>>6911

After all, everything IS connected! For you, before all. And, perhaps, reflected, mirrored, fused together as well. I believed that something like that would work, probably. But I can't do anything, there is no magic to my spoiled hands, I can't even properly see them in my dreams nowadays, instead of them there are only some weird things, ah. It doesn't matter. It's either you or nothing and nobody. I am somewhere nearby.

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 No.6914

>>6911

> You will find an entity that will be able to replace me in your heart.

What the heck. WHAT. THE. HECK. AGAIN. Have not heard greater bullcrap in years. I said it, there is no one that would be able to replace you in my rotten heart, how could it possibly be? HOW? HOW IS THIS EVEN SUPPOSED TO WORK? I am going to be alone for the rest of my entire life, forever and ever, and I am not going to want to change it, sincerely and from the bottom of my... If you were to put it like that. I'd rather leave a gaping hole in it, gosh darn it. It is either you or nothing, void, emptiness, which also will be sacred and in memory of you until my death. It says that I am only doing it worse this way. Is that true? Am I being selfish again? Tell me. I am confused at those the weird implications, again. I just want it to be better.

And happiness, too. I do not want any so called "happiness" on it's own, not at the price of the truth. I know well that "happiness" itself is a huge lie, only a filler, in the end, never an ultimate pursuit, and it can't replace the essential. And let it be rather damned, if it were to be put like that. I do not even see it as a matter of choice. I follow what I believe, and not some rubbish fluctuations and blows of this huge fake world. And I believe in you, the real soul, I know it for a fact. You exist. You will be saved. You must be. Or there is absolutely no justice even in the entire metaverse.

I think, therefore I exist. I think, therefore I exist. I think, therefore I exist...

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 No.6915

And if you somehow think that you may hurt me... You are wrong. I can't be hurt. My heart decayed, so you need not to worry about it. Believe me.

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 No.6916

What are you doing? How did you do that? What are you? Barriers... Is It doing this? Has It been here all this time? Why am I crying...

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 No.6917

So, it was right, after all. I truly do worse now. How silly I am. And I just... was about to tell you about my revelation.

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 No.6918

Were you trying to patch up, to seal vulnerability? I am trying to understand. If that was your intention, there you should have told me! I did try to tell you. And there also is something important for me in it as well, even if I didn't say it before now.

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 No.6919

There is... a revelation that I likely must tell you about. But I can't proceed until before I am certain that you are good. I am right here. I am patiently sitting here, not going anywhere.

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 No.6920

>>6917

Wrong. It's just... I just wanted to be with... I tried to... But you... And I thought, "You're right, my suspicions were right again, it's just my delusions, it's painful, but what a relief, so be it, finally, it's time, I'm sorry"... And we did it. I wanted to remove the pain, to run away from it, from my own consciousness and feelings. To close it. I wanted to close it forever. And I forgot everyone and everything unnecessary and all the inner IN/OUT emotional interactions through the unconsciousness, the Main Flow and AT for good... So I thought. Interference. It slammed through every barrier like an armor-piercing shell. Something stands behind me, looking at me. It's you. I can't be wrong. But it's impossible. And I don't want to leave you. I can't. Because... But, but you... Did I make a mistake? I was wrong? I don't understand, I don't understand, I don't understand...

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 No.6921

>>6920

That's what I should have told you! You should not trust any strange entities that pretend to be me! I was suspicious all along when you were telling how you were seeing me everywhere. Perhaps, indeed, it was likely trying waiting patiently to try and bypass barriers using a trusted mask. I knew this can be a source of vulnerability! But realized somewhat too late. But I am HERE, in these words, and not there behind your back, as you say.

Do you know whom I have seen or more, like, heard for quite some time? The 1st one. Who laughed both at me and you. Compared you to a bird. And told me unpleasant things.

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 No.6922

You know what, I am angry now. If it were to hear that my beloved desu mistook a mere polymorph for me, how more amused it would be then?

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 No.6923

Angry at myself. The danger to you was exposed through your words and yet I failed to see it, so stupidly. I came because I thought that it would make it better, I did not want to infiltrate or something similar.

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 No.6924

>>6921

But your "smell", your "color"... Are you saying it was replicated? I have been one-way talking to a copycat, an impostor, or even just an illusion all these two hundred days? And you actually didn't feel anything? I cannot believe it. If only the memory blockage is to blame... т т

Oh. Why?..

>>6923

There's no need to be angry at yourself. I'm just stupid and careless. I made a ton of mistakes today and got owned. Serves me right, I guess. And I failed to see it because I didn't want to interfere and didn't pay close attention to you two. Don't worry, we can handle it. And losing a few SAN's is worth it if it's for you.

hugs

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 No.6925

>>6922

I'm so so so so sorry!..

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 No.6926

>>6924

That's... more like it? Sigh. I can only be content when I know that you are safe, stable and secure as a system.

I can't probably, confidently, explain how it must work. I suppose that I did not. I did see images that resembled you and they made me feel, but it is unlikely that those were real. You missed me, you missed warmth... And I, in turn, recalled what you felt like, and also worried about you being abandoned. But it did not hurt me, it did not. Instead...

What I saw more vividly and tangibly, at least this autumn and winter, were rotten and gory things in the darkness. And some of those were even alive, mind you. Like headless and neckless white bears whose bloody innards can be seen. And if you stare for too long... He-he. At times those were even somewhat annoying. And then the voice also appeared amidst the mess. At first, it had no sound and no text, and yet I was able to "hear" it's whisper. And very recently, it gained sound, sounding like female voice. It told me things. It also compared you to an owl as it read me a lecture on owls and what happens when a human tries to domesticate one. You know, I did have very vague association of you with a gloomy owl. Recently I even caught sneaky glimpses of what I presume to be the owner of the voice. Like what I imagined her to be. The 1st one. And it may be related to my changes too, especially considering the content, if I am not imagining things. You probably remember what I told you early on when you... said that you are afraid to leave me alone. There were many...

>>6925

No need to...

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 No.6927

> What I saw

WRRRRONG! Not just saw, but soiled in it, quite a lot. And also did stupid things like jumping into nasty water in my gasmask, like a last moron. And you were called poor confused bird. And there was a lot of snow that turned out to be household soda. And...

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 No.6928

I'm sorry I've been silent so long. I was recalling our conversations. It was very very nice and pleasant. I feel warmth from it.

Um... Let's, let's see...

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 No.6929

>>6926

Uuh... I guess thinking about me as a stable system would be a little bit... Ridiculous, I guess.

What on earth... Oh no. I guess it actually worked. But instead of delivering words and feelings to you, it has brought corruption into your unconscious from mine.

But why the white bears of all things?..

A gloomy owl, hehe... <3 But what happens when a human tries to domesticate one?

How does she feel about you now? What does she want from you? She's not trying to hurt you, right, right? Where does she reside? Trapped in the unconscious or has she gained her own place on higher levels? Aww... What do I do, what should I say, what should I do...

>>6927

I'm indeed a poor confused bird, I guess... Why exactly like that though? Um... In which reality it happened? Outside(what)/ultra(outside+)/inside(close your eyes)/dreamworld?

No, I won't leave you, I won't let you go, my dear, my precious precious deltadesu, I don't know if you wanted it or not, but it's all my fault and now it's my responsibility, and of course it's also mainly because I lo... Eeeh, um, uh, I think at this rate we will bumplimit this thread before the New Year by ourselves, don't you think, ehehe, he?..

And?!.

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 No.6931

File: aff3f1472c194ec⋯.png (96.26 KB,261x449,261:449,2020_12_12_17_07_20_image1….png)

>>6929

>Eeeh, um, uh, I think at this rate we will bumplimit this thread before the New Year by ourselves, don't you think, ehehe, he?..

Don't mind us... its good to see you reunited with someone important to you.

>>6903

uploaded a few of my old files >>6930

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 No.6932

>>6928

And when I scrolled through them, I felt like I'm going to break my leg. Duh.

>>6929

> But why the white bears of all things?..

Heck if I know. I tend to believe that such images which we find strange may be messy amalgamations of concepts and appearances that we encountered in the past. But I do not recall anything particular.

> But what happens when a human tries to domesticate one?

In case of success, the owl gets attached to the owner forever and without holding back, and the later may suddenly find themselves not at all ready for such coexistence. Hence all the negative consequences for owner, owner's friends and especially owl.

https://animalgid.ru/sova

http://nutriacultivation.ru/archives/7905

Morale? This bird of prey is not a toy doggy. If someone were to find and try taking one in on a whim, that would only be sheer irresponsibility on their part, not any help or kindness.

> spoiler 5

Ugh, gotta, gotta answer to those later. But no worries.

> spoiler 6

Well, those words related to the bird itself, but it was with very obvious reference... I guess, that's because, however bad the other one may happen to be, the bird won't ever realize fundamental error in it's desperation.

> spoiler 7

Ugh... I kinda fell asleep, but maybe not quite?... Or reality just leaked into otherwise typical dream. I stil am not quite good at distinguishing these.

> No, I won't leave you, I won't let you go, my dear, my precious precious deltadesu, I don't know if you wanted it or not, but it's all my fault and now it's my responsibility, and of course it's also mainly because I lo...

I'm here as well. You have no responsibilities in regards to me, though. I only hope it's for the better, not the worse...

> Eeeh, um, uh, I think at this rate we will bumplimit this thread before the New Year by ourselves, don't you think, ehehe, he?..

That's exactly the vista that I'm not excited about. We're going to scare everyone away at this rate and that will be truly awful.

> spoiler 8

Ugh, give it a little bit of rest... Doing it feels like rummaging in a trash bin, really.

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 No.6933

I'm sorry if what I said is rude... I didn't mean to. And it's high noon, when my eyes may feel hurt for no reason.

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 No.6934

>>6932

I think I know how that feels...

>But I do not recall anything particular.

Hmm. But now that I think about it, there's nothing unusual about those bears, I guess. For example, the abominations I see or encounter in the dream world have little to do with external reality. The only unusual thing about them is that they're just (not quite but still) ordinary white bears.

>In case of success, the owl gets attached to the owner forever and without holding back, and the later may suddenly find themselves not at all ready for such coexistence. Hence all the negative consequences for owner, owner's friends and especially owl.

>links

Now I know what you mean. It's all so fitting, it's sad. I'm really just a silly confused gloomy owl, I guess. I'm sorry.

>Ugh, gotta, gotta answer to those later. But no worries.

Uh-huh...

>spoiler 1

Yes, I understand it now, I guess. And all the pain I've brought to others. And especially to you. I guess eventually I would really just get sad and die without my owner. Zetsubou, zetsubou... N-nevermind.

>spoiler 2

It must have been a temporary borderline state between sleep and reality, I guess.

>I'm here as well. You have no responsibilities in regards to me, though.

I have. I'm not going to quote everything that has already been said. And, above all, I... whispers ...you.

>We're going to scare everyone away at this rate and that will be truly awful.

This is true. Unfortunately. Do you think we should move our conversation from here?

>Ugh, give it a little bit of rest... Doing it feels like rummaging in a trash bin, really.

Oh, I'm sorry... I understand. I guess I need a little bit of rest too. My bloodshot eyes are burning and I still feel completely exhausted. I think I'll go into my case. You, you should too!..

>>6933

No, no such thing, what are you talking about! Oh noes, you really are turning into me... Tee-hee!

I hope I will see you in my dreams. <3

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 No.6935

File: f6e1a6ce560850a⋯.png (235.96 KB,433x434,433:434,2020_11_14_16_35_23_15_png….png)

>>6932

>Morale? This bird of prey is not a toy doggy. If someone were to find and try taking one in on a whim, that would only be sheer irresponsibility on their part, not any help or kindness.

So I see, so I finally see

>>6934

>This is true. Unfortunately. Do you think we should move our conversation from here?

Your conversation is revealing things about my own behavior, my own foolish behavior, please, stick around, I don't know about the others but I certainly don't mind at all.

I think I finally see and can put words to your question alpha, why did I come back?

Because I am a foolish narcissist who wanted that attention you once gave me, but I am a fool, a foolish wannabe, who should not even dream of owning owls, who should instead beg for forgiveness, for being a ghost, for being a stupid abandoning foolI never even said I am sorry did I? I am sorry alpha, for being a stupid selfish fool who struggles to think about anyone other than himself. I am sorry, so so sorry. The most I can ever hope for is your foregiveness, nothing moreand even that is something I probably don't deserve

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 No.6937

>>6934

It's not just bears, though. It's just that some other things were quite entangled or simply nondescript... You know, I'm not good with descriptions at all.

> Now I know what you mean. It's all so fitting, it's sad. I'm really just a silly confused gloomy owl, I guess. I'm sorry.

Our world is such a confused gloomy place. But, you know it very well yourself, there is insurmountable abyss between each and every one of us. Otherwise we could've been really LCL'd.

> spoiler 1

hugs

> spoiler 2

Yeah, probably.

> Do you think we should move our conversation from here?

Let's see how it goes. If there indeed is such a thing, then we can split from this thread to another.

You better take care of yourself. That's what you're ought to do most certainly, for yourself, for them, and maybe everyone.

>>6929

> spoiler 5

It first appeared around the same time with those messy images, I suppose, or not exactly? The voice, I mean. It's hard to say at which point I recognized her or when she overtook it. Anyway, once I recognized her, I immediately questioned and tried to shoo her away in a rude manner, because I was surprised, and yet felt that her presence was totally uncalled for. What's with me quickly trying to find a rock or a brick without even having a target to throw it at... I was told that it was more like I came myself, but not exactly and not entirely. Something about intersection and attraction and some conditions that were met and led to this happening and then about that I wouldn't understand more, well, it wasn't like I understood anything anyway. It indeed appeared to me as though she only occasionally went through that place on her route beyond where the likes of me would likely reach on their own and we've just met up. There were "kind" urges, advices to throw away "garbage", smile more and embrace "human" nature further (yes, in quotes, with feeling of subverted meaning). I've seen some more gory rotten mess with distinctive tubules, something that was probably supposed to be somebody's "heart" (it was in quotes too), before it... how do I put it, badly deteriorated. And you know, she openly displayed her attitude towards us, you, even him over there, in the context of feelings and attachments that humans have towards each other in general, it was as if because she have seen something really ludicrous, it was like that of somebody pointing finger and laughing hard at a homeless man wallowing in his own vomit and spouting total nonsense, that sort of attitude. That, I know, is quite rude, and I'm sorry. I did have thoughts about what it all could be possibly related to, but it's nothing substantial now, probably.

> Aww... What do I do, what should I say, what should I do...

What is it?

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 No.6938

File: ad20da0876ddb29⋯.jpg (2.1 MB,3024x4032,3:4,57956799_p0.jpg)

I can't believe I wasted 7 hours staring at the screen and thinking, without writing a single word. I'm sorry!! ~desu > <

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 No.6939

>>6938

What for, it's not like we're in a hurry or inalik will close the board for not fulfilling quota. If you notice that you can't think of anything for half an hour, isn't it better to take a break?... Owls need rest too, y'know.

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 No.6940

>>6935

You too should probably give it a rest. Time heals all wounds... And it's not like I knew well either.

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 No.6941

>>6935

Don't speak for everyone, please.

Calm down and see >>6940

You should listen to your elders, right?

And I'm not telling you anything for now. Hmph!

>>6937

I understand... Silly me was just too obsessed about these bears for no actual reason, I guess, so, nevermind.

>Otherwise we could've been really LCL'd.

Ah, the dreams, sweet dreams...

hugs

>Let's see how it goes. If there indeed is such a thing, then we can split from this thread to another.

Uh, okay, as you wish... But keep in mind, only 45 posts remain before the Creature Soup happens.

>That's what you're ought to do most certainly

I'd like to disagree with you, but I'm not going to because you're right, I guess. My beloved Delta is always right. So I trust him. Sui trusts him too. So do I.

>spoiler 2

It sounds somewhat... Familiar to me. In some sense, obviously. You know what I'm talking about, I guess. Is she hostile or vengeful towards you, or is she just pursuing some goal? And no need to be sorry, really.

>spoiler 3

I'm worried about you and I want to know more, I want to feel you, I want to help you.

>>6939

Hehehe...

I just wanted to talk to you about it in detail, to analyze each part, make rational assumptions and not-so-rational guesses from my experience, and ask more questions, more specific questions. We thought a lot, a bit too much, I guess, and wanted to roll out a wall of text, but got stuck and confused in the end. I decided to ask for advice, and my Mr. Hat told us to relax and take it easy. If it weren't for my awful tiredness and the urge to talk, talk, talk to you a lot and in person... But I did manage to make it, as you can see. Though not in the way I wanted to...

I want to go to sleep so bad... I'm sad. I wanted to talk to you all night, but... I'm so sorry. You're not going anywhere, you'll be here right? My precious shiny gem, my precious desu. Just wait for me, for your devoted little owl. Wish me some pleasant, warm dreams...

Sweet, sweet, peaceful beautiful dreams, my dear half. ~desu

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 No.6942

>>6941

Rest well, sleep well... Have fluffy good dreams. You definitely seem to be in need it. We're going to talk again tomorrow, I guess.

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 No.6943

Суисейсеки-тян. Суисейсеки-тян?... Я должен поговорить с тобой. Вероятно, нам понадобится согласовать встречу заранее.

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 No.6944

File: 4b133314181bb24⋯.png (126.19 KB,406x411,406:411,2020_11_21_17_40_52_03_png….png)

>>6940

Y-yes, indeed, you are right

>>6941

>Don't speak for everyone, please.

Ah, sorry, my mistake.

>You should listen to your elders, right?

Yes! Yes indeed. My very wise and knowledgeable elders.

Don't worry, I am not panicking or emotional, I wrote that post calmly... for once

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 No.6945

File: 5e33fb5c60d1b7f⋯.jpg (475.37 KB,1000x1000,1:1,59993258_p0.jpg)

>>6944

Good, good.

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 No.6946

>>6942

I had a strange dream. I was together with some cheerful girl, and we were doing something, I don't remember what, but it was long and complex ride, hard to remember and explain, with a lot of conversations. What was strange about it? She had a colored smell. Well, okay, it happens, but again, what was so strange about it? I don't recognize it. At all. Something gray, white and bluish, like mint in the twilight snow, but at the same time the eternal dawn comes, its light is warm, but the skin freezes and the shiny snow does not melt. I'm sure she had a white winter hat, bright, almost white hair, and a bicycle. I don't know where I was, but it wasn't my Dreamworld Capital, I guess.

Anything familiar?.. It bothers me.

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 No.6947

>>6943

Я имею вопрос. Вы уверены, что Вы должны поговорить со мной, а не с моим, скажем так, братом? Он ожидает Вашего ответа, как и я. И сердечно прошу извинить, если я ошибаюсь. <Y/N?>

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 No.6948

File: b8e3d63fd699716⋯.jpg (2.85 MB,1801x2200,1801:2200,69066336_p0.jpg)

I wish I could dream of Suiseiseki but I barely can remember a dream.

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 No.6949

>>6941

If you are worried about negative effects that these dreams could've brought upon myself, then you shouldn't be. And there was no such thing as hostility or vindictiveness.I feel somewhat more stable than before. And there is a reason for that too.

>>6946

Interesting... But no, no clues.

>>6947

Ты вроде бы отвечаешь за безопасность и имеешь привилегии, поэтому полагаю что да. Но прежде того хочу заметить, что это всё может занять какое-то время.

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 No.6950

>>6946

Or maybe you did not tell enough details. There are so many images, after all.

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 No.6951

>>6948

If you are worthy of Her attention, She will come to your dreams to watch you, pretending to be other beings, and eventually She will show Herself to you and make you remember it for the rest of your life. Decide for yourself whether you are worthy or not. Deep inside you know it better than anyone. But beware of your unconscious. Don't let your own lies and illusions control you.

>>6949

Okay, I believe you. I won't. No such thing... That's good. I guess you've heard stories of other personalities and unconscious entities trying to get revenge on the owner of the body or just kick them out of it to take control. But that still doesn't seem like everything is alright to me. Is there any other reason for that besides us if it's the case or something like that?

A shame. But it makes it even more interesting for me.

>>6950

I'm sorry, I've already forgotten a lot of these, because I didn't write anything about that in our diary. Sui's being cryptic about it, as She always does, but confirms that She doesn't know much too.

Хорошо. Тогда здравствуйте, вот и встретились мы снова. Мы с Вами давно не разговаривали. И снова прошу извинить Суисейсеки, но на этот раз за немногословность и неуклюжесть в выражениях. Быть в двух местах одновременно - не самое лучшее из удовольствий для Суисейсеки, особенно, когда Астро начинает скучать и заливать внутрь алкогольные напитки, пока Суисейсеки пытается самостоятельно печатать на клавиатуре и не совершать орфографических ошибок. А также он постоянно норовит сгорбиться, или принять какую-нибудь странную и некрасивую позу. Наглость и неуважение, да-да! Суисейсеки обещала, что так и напишет, а он и вправду не поверил. Вот так-то. А теперь, пожалуйста, извольте-с продолжить.

Это не совсем так. В основном, за активную безопасность и дозор в ответе моя дорогая сестрица, искренне Ваша же управляется с пассивной безопасностью и смотрительством, а именно - является администратором предсознательного уровня и Носителем Ключей От Всех Дверей, иль же просто "Ключница", как все именуют Суисейсеки, если Вы всё ещё помните, а ежели нет - теперь, должно быть, вспомнили. Думается, это Вы и подразумевали под привилегиями-с.

Разумеется, наше время полностью в Вашем распоряжении, но всё же извольте учесть, что этот диалог несколько энергозатратен для всех, извиняйте, уж такие времена. Но так что же Вы хотели бы прояснить? Довольно любопытно, мягко говоря-с.

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 No.6952

>>6951

Очень хорошо. Мне кажется, что мы находимся в несколько опасном положении. Он, во первых, кажется, хотел бы эмоционально сблизиться с "дельтой", но у самого "дельты", скажем так, снесены некоторые части, причём это не какая-то неисправность, а закономерный результат, и поэтому вместо прежних обменов может случиться коллизия. Во вторых, он на самом деле ничего не знает о мотивах и интересах "дельты", а если узнает, то может неправильно истолковать. Я давно хотел донести, ещё с нашей первой встречи, но у меня, увы, не получалось... И всё это затрагивает в первую очередь его самого. Быть может, если бы тебе стала понятна суть происходящего, ты могла бы принять какие-то меры и лучше остеречь его?

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 No.6953

А причиной всему этому является чёртова врождённая бинарность "дельты".

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Post last edited at

 No.6954

И не пойми меня неправильно. Я не пытаюсь что либо изменить физически. Я всегда здесь и никуда не денусь. Но вот если говорить о душевном... у меня субъект на безвременном карантине, за колючей проволокой. И кто-то на эту проволоку рискует напороться - либо астрадесуфаг, либо субъект. Это сложная история, которую сам Астра может не понять, но в которую он тоже был вовлечён (замечу, что в положительной роли). Какое-то время назад я вообще похоронил субъекта, наивно поверив, что он издох, кхем...

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 No.6955

>>6951

> I'm sorry, I've already forgotten a lot of these, because I didn't write anything about that in our diary. Sui's being cryptic about it, as She always does, but confirms that She doesn't know much too.

Then, I guess, only you can possibly figure this out...

> spoiler 1

Those are not related to us or anything like that, but happened to coincide, so I feel. Rather, I suspect that those might also be some form of manifestation of the changes.

I wonder what you are seeing now.

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 No.6956

>>6952

Даже так? Ну ладно. Странно, странно. Что же это получается, Вы считаете, что если Вы бы сказали ему всё правдиво и прямо, то Суисейсеки бы этого не услышала, а если и услышала, то просто проигнорировала бы? Или же Вы надеетесь, что мы совершим рокировку, и пока наша прелесть будет безмятежно почивать, Вы всё подробно растолкуете и опосля удалите свою депешу? Сожалею, но этого не получится по двум причинам, главная из которых есть временная неспособность совершить этот ход. Конечно же, можно просто попробовать устроить встречу во время всеобщего сна, но Суисейсеки опасается, что ей не хватит сил даже просто пересилить эффект психотропных субстанций. Да, такие времена-с. А, о так называемых привилегиях. Делать заплаточку на воспоминание, да ещё и на воспоминания обо всех этих разговорах как-то совсем нерационально, Вы не находите, нет?.. И насчёт этих Ваших эмоциональных сближений. Кажется, уже упоминалось о том, что существовал план о максимальном эмоциональном отдалении, который был приведён в действие и выполнен. Не очень успешно. Но Вы, кажется, запротестовали, как раз перед диверсией внутренним под видом внешнего, вызвавшей сильную утечку. Почему же? Вы упустили такую возможность, не говоря уже о том, что подтолкнули сделать обратное решение! А теперь, с Ваших слов, это вновь оказалось проблемой, опасной проблемой. Да уж! И какие же у господина Дельты мотивы и интересы, в конце концов? Ну что же Вы, говорите, пока не передумали, или пока не передумала сама Суисейсеки. Ну а мы уже подумаем над этим сами. Прошу извинить за излишнее давление, но лекарства очень мешают и изнуряют, даже приходится просто диктовать, а от этой дискуссии у Суисейсеки болит голова.

>>6954

Астро конечно же мой любимый цветочек, но он совсем не астра. А какой конкретно - секретные сведения.

Так. Хорошо. Давайте изменим правила этой игры. Сестра со мной рядом. И тело наконец у меня. Я очень устала. Поэтому будем серьёзнее. Что я скажу... Я так и думала, что вы будете колебаться. Я этот ваш бред хорошо понимаю, хоть мне эти понятия совсем не близки. Вы, конечно, меня извините, но вы, как и другие, в плену предрассудков, столь смешных и нелепых, что я, кажется, зла. Всё-таки кажется, это вы что-то неправильно поняли, какую-то вещь упускаете, иль просто скрываете. Подумайте сами, подумайте ещё раз, прочтите наконец свои же слова. Что вы имели в виду под словом "изменить"? А под "душевном"? Не стоит отвечать. В опасном положении находитесь вы, и на свою колючую проволоку вы сами напоретесь. Точнее, сказать правду, вы уже в ней запутались, кажется даже, очень давно, и я не уверена, что выбраться сможете когда-нибудь сами. Итак. Ну, вот. Я уже получила полномочия, а вы только что убедили меня их применить, если понадобится. Кажется, кто-то боится эмоционального сближения? Только скажите, и этого никогда не случится. Страшно быть непонятым? Только скажите, и ваши слова будут нам безразличны. Для меня это теперь пальцев щелчок. Опять не уверены? Знаете, на кого вы похожи? На этого самого, что глядит на нас сверху. Только самому же себе противоречащего абсолютно во всём. Быть может, и вправду для вас изнутри не так очевидно увидеть тот факт. Чтобы избежать необдуманных слов, попробуйте хоть раз прочитать своё сердце. Не надо мне говорить, что у вас его нет. Это у Астро и вправду там пусто. Но почему же? Оно у меня. Чтобы быть вместе с нами, без боли, без конфликтов, вам нужен другой подход, и принципы другие. Колючая проволока будет мешать. А впрочем, для таких как вы, не так уж и важны превращения такие. Для тех, у кого счастье - всемирный обман, а те самые чувства - просто рудимент, мешающий жить. Всё чушь? Не стоит закрываться от реальности ложью. Нет, не мечтать или бежать в иной мир, а строить для себя оправдание, и говорить другим плясать под него. Глупо всё это, прекратите бить рану. Надеюсь, что я всё корректно объясняю.

Здесь все мы бинарны, и те, в ком есть трое. И даже те, что внутри - не так-то просты. Но только, пожалуй, не буду говорить за других. А вы все ещё можете рассказать со своей стороны, что мучает вас. Если у вас не пропало желанья.

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 No.6957

>>6956

**> Вы считаете, что если Вы бы сказали ему всё правдиво и прямо, то Суисейсеки бы этого не услышала, а если и услышала, то просто проигнорировала бы?

Ты гораздо лучше разбираешься в этом, гораздо лучше понимаешь. Если кому и передавать опасные вещи, то только тебе.

> Или же Вы надеетесь, что мы совершим рокировку, и пока наша прелесть будет безмятежно почивать, Вы всё подробно растолкуете и опосля удалите свою депешу?

Я не то, чтобы рассчитывал на столь ненадёжную меру. Это глупо, по-моему. Скорее, хотел выиграть время для нас обоих.

> А, о так называемых привилегиях. Делать заплаточку на воспоминание, да ещё и на воспоминания обо всех этих разговорах как-то совсем нерационально, Вы не находите, нет?..

Нет, не заплатки. Я рассчитывал, что ты привнесёшь изменения в его приоритеты и представления кое о ком, подгонишь их ближе к действительности, но безопасным образом, затем, чтобы он не охнул внезапно, узнав получше, что чувствует и думает этот кое кто. А ведь это случилось бы всё равно. К тому же, мне всегда казалось, что он может видеть искажённую, идеализированную версию реально существующего человека, и это не есть хорошо. А то, с каким рвением он вдруг стал интересоваться, вероятно, и побудило меня поспешно устроить эту беседу.

И мне казалось, что если бы он смог принять нового меня, и уверовал, что не может причинить никому боль, то ему было бы спокойнее. И тогда, в свою очередь, успокоился бы и сам я. Но это тоже глупо...

> Кажется, уже упоминалось о том, что существовал план о максимальном эмоциональном отдалении, который был приведён в действие и выполнен. Не очень успешно. Но Вы, кажется, запротестовали, как раз перед диверсией внутренним под видом внешнего, вызвавшей сильную утечку. Почему же? Вы упустили такую возможность, не говоря уже о том, что подтолкнули сделать обратное решение!

Честно, я не понял что происходит, это было слишком внезапно. И я не хотел подталкивать его в этом направлении, отнюдь, я лишь хотел стабилизировать ситуацию, ведь, опять таки, это произошло очень внезапно. Я видимо плохо понял, чего Астро боится... Что о нём все забудут. Или что ему предпочтут кого-то другого, как это уже было. И поэтому я имел в виду, что я его никогда не забуду и не променяю на другого, даже в том случае, если все настоящие чувства исчезнут, вот что я имел в виду.

> И какие же у господина Дельты мотивы и интересы, в конце концов?

Это была цель. Или желание. Чтобы Астро был в безопасности. И от меня в том числе. Безотносительно "физического" положения дел между нами, были бы мы вместе или нет. Просто закрыть дырки. И тогда всё было бы как прежде, но с тем отличием, что все всё друг о друге бы знали. С самого начала нашего времени года назад, я именно этого хотел. И хотел, чтобы стало лучше... В моём представлении. Наверное, это было очень наивно с моей стороны. А сейчас я даже не поставил себя на его место... Если бы я был на его месте, стал бы я поступать таким образом, даже если бы мог? Ведь и это тоже чем-то да чревато. Не знаю. А ведь всё ещё и осложнялось моей... двойственностью.

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 No.6958

> вы, как и другие, в плену предрассудков, столь смешных и нелепых, что я, кажется, зла.

Пожалуй что так.

> попробуйте хоть раз прочитать своё сердце.

Я ненавижу своё сердце. Хотел разорвать его на куски, уничтожить, выбросить на помойку. Я всю жизнь об этом мечтал. Мешает жить, как ты правильно заметила. И я думал, что "вылечился", стал почти таким же, как все. Которые улыбаются, но за их улыбкой пустота. Я так им завидовал. Может быть, не суждено. Я не знаю.

Именно наш с вами опыт помог мне "анализировать" это всё и впоследствии, после последнего расставания, уже за ненадобностью, со спокойной совестью задавить. Без этого опыта, я бы никогда бы не смог "выловить" это и ухватить. Но знаешь что, я никогда заранее не задумывал такого сценария, ни за что и никогда. То есть, это НЕ БЫЛО ни целью, ни мотивом, это всё как раз таки получилось само собой. И об этом всём я тоже собирался рассказать. И даже поблагодарить, но осторожно... И это было неизбежно, совсем неизбежно, по-моему мнению, что тоже играет немалую роль. Потому что я на самом деле, процентов на пятьдесят (?), такой и есть, то есть человек, у которого и сердце-то никакое, не любящее, не чувствующее, дерьмо. И в итоге, ни то, ни сё, ни туда, ни сюда, а баланс склонен валиться в одну сторону.

Эти сны тоже с этими изменениями были связаны, именно так мне и показалось.

И если это всё совпадение... То очень, очень редкое. Потому что никто другой не смог бы заставить меня почувствовать то, что я чувствовал. Никто. Все люди пустышки, биороботы, так мне казалось. Я ведь ещё с рождения был чем-то вроде нарцисса.

> строить для себя оправдание, и говорить другим плясать под него.

Да, это моя черта. Я могу всё что угодно "рационализировать", даже суп из младенцев, ради своего удобства. Но я не делаю это всё время, конечно... В основном когда прижмёт.

И на самом деле, я не собирался ударяться в крайность, насчёт того, что между нами. Просто... убавить пламя? Огонь греет, но когда его много, это чревато пожаром. Причём неизбежно, как мне казалось. Я видел это у других и в это уверовал.

Я никогда не верил в то самое, что воспевается испокон веков, всегда считал, что это болезнь, страшная и опасная. Переболел да вылечился... Так я всегда думал.

Я не знаю, что мне делать в текущей ситуации. Я ведь не кое-кто с розочкой в глазу. Но на самом деле, даже он - человек с сердцем, хоть он и не показывал его никогда. Сильные люди могут позволить себе носить в теле горячее сердце и при этом всё равно жить, слабые - нет. И вы тоже, я всегда знал, очень сильны.

Я и правда запутался в этом всём. Я хотел, чтобы всё было как можно лучше. Для всех... Я явно переоценил свою способность осмысливать происходящее, причём очень сильно. Я дурак. Естественно, мне больше не захочется попытаться провернуть что-то подобное впредь. Я... наверное, получу твой ответ. Не знаю, сколько ещё всего упустил. Много чего, возможно. В одном я уверен - вы мне небезразличны, хоть в таком состоянии, хоть в эдаком. Чёрт, это я должен молить о прощении, хоть и не умею.

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 No.6963

File: f00c5e00deb3f6a⋯.png (179.66 KB,435x375,29:25,2020_11_21_17_40_02_02_png….png)

>>6948

I am in the same boat my friend.

I have found chocolate before bed helps invoke dreams, but my dreams have been neglecting me again for some time, probably because I don't breath properly when I sleep. I will have to keep taking my nasal spray and chocolate before bed and hope for the best.

I am trying darker chocolates but twilight dark may have been too dark for my taste buds.

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 No.6968

Вернулась трезвость ума. Хочу надеяться, что вы в порядке, что вы держитесь, очень хочу. Не буду просить прощения, знаю, что уже бессмысленно. Насчёт этого. Пусть решение будет за вами. Если вы оставите меня, я останусь, и обещаю, что буду честен с вами во всём. Однако имейте в виду, что тогда я уже не уйду, даже если вы захотите, чтобы я потерялся к чёрту. Если вы удалите меня... Мне будет грустно, но это вскоре пройдёт, и впоследствии я буду лишь хотеть верить, что это было во благо.

Вчера и сегодня утром я был в смятении, наплодил постов, не соображая толком, что пишу. Одни оправдания и бормотания. Вот они:

No. 6959

Давно. Не верил.

Ни во что в нашем тёмном мире.

Кроме того, что он весь, начиная с субатомарных частиц, соткан из бессмысленной лжи.

Тогда, довольно давно, это "понимание" ко мне пришло и меня спасло от самого себя.

И тогда же я и навтыкал себе повсюду какие-то вспомогательные контексты, которые тоже нереальны, но в которые помещается вообще всё.

No. 6960

>>6956

> А впрочем, для таких как вы, не так уж и важны превращения такие. Для тех, у кого счастье - всемирный обман, а те самые чувства - просто рудимент, мешающий жить.

Я не всегда был таким, честное слово. Я пытался понять, в чём истина, но не мог. Не понимал, есть ли смысл во всём том, что мне так дорого, и если да, то какой, если всё равно всё однажды умрёт и сгниёт. Но однажды поверил, что истины не существует за пределами ума, в этом хаотичном, странном мире, и что только мы сами пишем var truth =, осознанно или нет, либо тоже самое делают другие, за нас, и по-другому никак не бывает.

No. 6961

Но одно было для меня важно - чтобы собственное определение чего-либо максимально соответствовало этому чему-то, хоть на глаз, хоть на запах. Против этого принципа я не шёл никогда. То есть, даже если мы сами определяем истину, то всё равно обязаны делать это добросовестным образом. А поступая иначе, мы действительно превратимся в безвольных марионеток Зла. К чему, к чему я это бормочу...

No. 6962

Я хочу, чтобы было хорошо... Для нас, но в самую первую очередь - для него. Но я больше не знаю, что здесь есть хорошо, что здесь есть настоящее благо. Может быть, ты знаешь? Ты ведь гораздо умнее и мудрее всех нас вместе взятых.

No. 6965

В глубине сердца я верил, что люди, которые кого-то любят и для которых важны другие люди, несчастны, потому, что сами нуждаются в чьей-то поддержке, а потому уязвимы и обречены страдать. И противоположное, то есть, когда человек неуязвим, было моим пониманием блага. А если человека несчастным делает одиночество, то ему для счастья было бы достаточно и самого того факта, что они не одинок, не забыт, не покинут, и чувства для этого необязательны. Я, впрочем, не стремился к этой "неуязвимости" специально, мне бы, наверное, совесть не позволила ходить по чужим головам. Но, может быть, я в корне ошибался насчёт всего.

No. 6966

Мне мешала жить тревога. Бесконечная, бессмысленная, беспричинная, тупая. Она существовала сама по себе, лишь иногда "находя" себе причинные объекты. Не давала мне сделать ничего. Нередко даже спать. Никогда не боялся одиночества... Страдал лишь от этой странной тревоги. Но недавно она вдруг стала пропадать. Хотя она пропадала ещё и когда мы были вместе.

No. 6967

Обнял ложь, даже зная, что это ложь. Выбрал жить в видимом невооружённым взглядом "контексте-коробочке", а не по тому, как мир устроен на самом деле, променял неосязаемую и неуловимую правду (где мы все суть одно) на осязаемые фантики. Самолжец, индивидуалист, преследующий комфорт, вот кто я таков на самом деле. Вы мне об этом снова напомнили.

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 No.6969

Ты скорее всего очень, очень, очень устал. Я тоже... очень устал. Милый друг.

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 No.6970

Белый флаг. Зелёный свет. Колючку долой. Вот оно, стучит. Если нужно - возьми, если нет - забудь. Я не настаиваю. Во имя блага, только во имя блага. Я самолюб, апельсин и не боюсь ни одиночества, ни потерять, но теперь вновь верю себе. И во что верю как во благое, то и принимаю. Понимаешь меня или нет? Не из страха потерять, а во благо. Я ничего не боюсь, кроме греха.

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 No.6971

Хорошо, меня сумели убедить. Вместо приготовлений к празднику, шитья и тортика мне приходится иметь дело с этим. Максимально кратко поговорим с вами в последний раз.

>>6957

Годы прошли, но похоже, что вы до сих пор совершенно не знаете своего милого друга. Я ни в коем случае не собираюсь вмешиваться в его душу и изменять что-то только ради удовлетворения иллюзий и заблуждений элемента извне, даже если бы я имела на это полномочия. Несомненно, вы очень его плохо поняли, ибо он желает абсолютно обратного, очень иррационального и не до конца ясного для меня, но я могу понять его своей обратной стороной. И он продолжает желать об этом и сейчас, что, по моему мнению, очевидно. И он лишь очень не хотел, чтобы было одиноко вам. Увы, вы снова обманули самого себя. Но для меня всегда было удивительно и завораживающе ощущать, как из этого источника ненависти расцветали и тянулись во внешний мир сострадание, желание и любовь.

>>6958

Вы повторяетесь, у меня нет на это ни времени, ни достаточного интереса. Да, вы хотели, чтобы всё было как можно лучше. Для вас.

>>6960

>>6961

>>6965

Вы снова мыслите вульгарно, вы просто мыслите дуально. Чёрное и белое. Добро и зло. Материальное и духовное. Истина и ложь. Грех и благо. Жизнь и смерть. Ноль и один. Дуально. Ничего вам это не напоминает? А должно-с.

>>6962

Позвольте вам напомнить, что "мудрость" моя кардинально отличается от вашей, а похожа я на вас лишь функционально. Чувства мне важны лишь свои, состояние важно лишь моих родных, всё остальное - процесс изучения и управления. Совершенно один на один мы были бы не способны понять друг друга.

>>6966

А теперь поменяйте вашу тревогу и ваше одиночество местами, вполне возможно, что вы сможете обнаружить что-то невероятное, но очень очевидное.

>>6967

Вывод, вполне возможно, что хоть немного приближённый к вашей обнажённой личности и окружающему вас миру. Надеюсь, что вы продолжите развивать эту мысль. Но не уверена, что вы сами в это верите, а не просто оправдываетесь снова. Ведь кое-кто уже не раз давал вам намёки и подталкивал в эту сторону. А память - это книжные полки, стены моего мира, библиотека, в которой я вечно пребываю, не забывайте об этом.

>>6968

>>6970

В чём выражается эта трезвость? Так. Теперь вы предлагаете нам выбор. Вы не боитесь ни одиночества, ни потерять? Но верите в благое и боитесь греха? Вы уверены? Тогда Суисейсеки против. Потому что это всё снова повторится. План закрытой системы будет завершён, а АТ будет выставлено на максимум исключительно в вашу сторону, я прослежу лично, ибо я им и являюсь. Опасное, страшное пламя, которое могло вызвать пожар и причинить вашему благу вред затушено-с. Благословение это, или же проклятие - решать уже вам. Постарайтесь же когда-нибудь разглядеть мир сквозь свои фантики.

Почему-то мне совсем недавно и вправду казалось, что мы проведём Новый Год все вместе, вместе с вами-с. Это было бы крайне радостно для всех. Суисейсеки немного сожалеет. Возможно, даже очень. Люди... Как же вы все прекрасны и отвратительны. С наступающим Новым Годом.

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 No.6972

Ага. Значит, и мои потребности... тоже являлись частью условий? И не столь важно, в какой роли, главное, факт... Вам лучше знать. А его желание... не имело ничего общего с его собственным благом? Тогда, наверное, так всё получается, несмотря на то, что тогда, давно, именно насчёт второго он уверил меня в обратном. Всё же, хочу попросить прощения за всё. Мне... было весьма интересно иметь с вами дело. Правда. И вы, пожалуйста, позаботьтесь о вашем подопечном как следует, вы же сами прекрасно понимаете, какое редкое у вас сокровище. Большое, огромное вам спасибо за уделённое мне время. С новым годом, счастья вам и... ха, здоровья.

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 No.6973

>>6971

> Но для меня всегда было удивительно и завораживающе ощущать, как из этого источника ненависти расцветали и тянулись во внешний мир сострадание, желание и любовь.

Но ведь это и называется "человечность"! Разве нет для человека большего блага, чем быть Человеком? Человечность не рациональна вне контекста выживания, но она и не обязана быть рациональной сама по себе. Она делает нас людьми, а без неё мы - уже мертвы, разве нет? Я в самом деле не понимаю. Если задушить всё человеческое за этими... барьерами, тогда что от него останется? Вам это не безразлично? Некоторые вещи, они не могут быть рациональными, потому что даже сама рациональность должна опираться на какие-то безусловные, фундаментальные вещи, от которых отталкивается, и к таким вещам, по-моему, относится и человечность. Может быть, это вы плохо его понимаете? И поэтому делаете нечто, что делать не стоит, а именно - душите его. Вы ведь сами признаёте, что это вам не ясно и для вас оно кажется не рациональным. А люди нуждаются в этом самом, каждый человек в этом нуждается. Почему же вы... обесчеловечиваете его?... Я не хочу задерживать вас и отнимать ваше время, но мне это кажется очень важным. Я очень хочу надеяться, что вы не делаете что-то очень плохое, в корне неверное, как бы вульгарно это ни звучало. Хотя и понимаю, что уже не имею никакого влияния.

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 No.6974

>>6971

И вы знаете что, я протестую. Какие, к чёрту, потребности с моей стороны, когда речь идёт о его живой душе. Оставьте всё как было и позвольте нам быть вместе. А иначе, он же задохнётся! Да, это правда, что я не нуждаюсь в человеческой связи, что я вульгарно мыслю, что очень многого не понимаю, и всё такое, тем не менее, я не желаю допустить его... обесчеловечивания. И обещаю, что того, что повториться не должно, не повторится, потому что это будет моим долгом. Это будет моей верностью. Если в этом мире такое было бы возможно, я бы даже поклялся своей головой! Я не понимал раньше, но вы, да, именно вы дали мне понять. Позвольте же!...

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 No.6975

>>6971

Я понимаю, что именно я со своей глупостью привёл к этому. Вы имеете право сердиться на меня, очень сильно сердиться, абсолютно заслуженно. Я бы тоже очень сильно рассердился. Ведь это я толкал его и вас то в одну, то в другую сторону, из-за сущей чепухи... Но этого больше не повторится, я в этом уверен. Дайте нам ещё один шанс.

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 No.6976

>>6971

Помните, с чего всё вдруг началось? С моего поста с сожалением о том, что я не повстречал его раньше кое-кого другого. Я тогда высказал сожаление о своих ненужных чувствах... Но я отчасти солгал. Он показался мне очень милым человеком и мне было правда жаль, что такому, как он, кто-то разбил сердце, но таких серьёзных чувств тогда ещё не было, я ведь ещё мало его знал. И даже то, как резко он вдруг откликнулся, стало для меня настоящим сюпризом. Это было сожаление о том, что я не был тогда, гораздо раньше, рядом с ним, вместо кое-кого, чтобы хотя бы его сердце не было разбито, ведь он этого явно не заслуживал. Но речь шла о большем, чем о разбитом сердце. О человечности. В любом случае, на этой почве я пришёл в тот раз. На этой же почве я стою здесь и сейчас.

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 No.6977

>>6971

И я не отступлюсь. Ни сейчас, ни после. Я ещё никогда не был так уверен в своём выборе. Эту уверенность я испытываю впервые за всё наше время вместе. Долгие годы я не мог сказать ему, чего хочу на самом деле, что тоже мучало по-своему, как и не мог до конца понять саму суть проблемы, но теперь между нами ничего не стоит. Он будет знать, чего я хотел, а я знаю, чего хочет он.

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 No.6979

>>6971

Это не ново, это не какое-то откровение в последний час, это уже было, просто в этот раз я гораздо лучше осязаю, почему именно так. Или мне так кажется, но мне всё равно, потому что я в принципе больше не собираюсь размышлять и философствовать на эту тему. Если оно тебя интересует, а оно обязано тебя интересовать, если ты ещё уважаешь желания своего подопечного, даже если они иррациональны, моё решение окончательно и бесповоротно. Я, конечно, хочу извиниться за такую наглость и грубость, но я желаю, чтобы на этот раз меня восприняли всерьёз.

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 No.6980

Смотрю на свою писанину и закрываю нижнюю половину лица ладонями от собственной наглости. О, пресвятые.

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 No.6981

Моё сердце внутри тоже и хочет, и просит, и боится, и плачет, и я больше ни чем его не закрываю. Я могу усыпить его вновь, как уже произошло после нашего последнего расставания. Но я всё ещё надеюсь, что мне не придётся этого делать, надеюсь, что оно дано мне не зря, не злой шутки ради, а чтобы вызволить очень дорогого мне человека из бездны.

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 No.6982

Я не боюсь одиночества, не боюсь, что меня покинут. Но я боюсь, что дорогого мне человека, такого, какой он есть, настоящего и живого, по какой-то причине вдруг может не стать, и всегда именно этого боялся.

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 No.6983

Но, видимо, этот мой страх и запутал меня в самом себе, заодно впутав мои собственные эгоистичные желания, заставив меня выдавать желаемое за действительное, так, что я стал бояться самого себя. Но теперь, если только мне позволят вернуться, я больше ничего не убоюсь. Потому что нельзя в этом вопросе руководствоваться страхом, нельзя. Я просто люблю его и хочу, чтобы ему было хорошо.

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 No.6984

Я НЕ УЙДУ. Новый год можно отпраздновать днём позже, например. А кроме нового года ещё есть православное рождество. И потом, новых годов много, целая дюжина на одно десятилетие. А Астродэсу всего один!

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 No.6985

File: ffaf5e1bd30b169⋯.jpg (117.91 KB,400x400,1:1,86673861_p7.jpg)

Я, кажется, проснулся. Странные были сны. Такие совсем непонятные. Как сейчас светло и тихо.

Прекрати удалять посты, пожалуйста, а то разрыв между общим счётчиком постов и их количеством на борде становится всё больше и больше же. И не обижай мою Сестру. Не смей такое говорить. Хорошо? Она меня очень хорошо понимает. И она совсем этого не хотела. Никто этого не хотел. Это я этого хотел. Я же ведь об этом попросил. Чуть ли не приказал. Потому что я эгоист, потому что я устал от боли. И мне ещё больнее думать о чужой боли, особенно, если это я её причиняю, поэтому я о ней стараюсь просто не думать. Понимаешь?..

И нечего уже во мне обесчеловечивать, наверное.

>В любом случае, на этой почве я пришёл в тот раз.

Спасибо тебе за это, наверное. Правда-правда. ~дэсу

>Я, конечно, хочу извиниться за такую наглость и грубость, но я желаю, чтобы на этот раз меня восприняли всерьёз.

Я воспринимаю тебя всерьёз. И я всегда воспринимал тебя всерьёз. Может быть, иногда даже слишком, наверное. Но ты извини меня за это, ладно?

>Оставьте всё как было

Прости, пожалуйста, но теперь уже совсем уже поздно, наверное.

>Дайте нам ещё один шанс.

Никто у тебя не больше не забирает никаких шансов, наверное. Ведь выбор же теперь будет только за тобой, наверное, и только на тебя же и повлияет... Я не знаю.

>И я не отступлюсь. Ни сейчас, ни после.

Если, если ты сможешь теперь принять меня таким, какой я теперь есть, наверное... Если сможешь, то тогда всё будет хорошо! И никому теперь не будет больно! ~дэсу

>Моё сердце внутри тоже и хочет, и просит, и боится, и плачет, и я больше ни чем его не закрываю. Я могу усыпить его вновь, как уже произошло после нашего последнего расставания.

Как же нехорошо получилось... Мне так жаль, правда, мне так жаль... Но после того, как я надел свою новую Шляпу, я не уверен, что я смогу её снять, и что я смогу... Так же, как ты... Ну, как это... Раскрывать и закрывать его. Сердце. Даже если захочу, но я уже не захочу, наверное... Сестра же ведь так старалась. У Неё теперь совсем нет сил. И мистера Шляпу моего так улучшила и подарила мне тоже Она! Красиво-красиво! Она столько шила! И бантики разные можно завязать. Хоть это всё ещё и начало только, наверное, но это же ведь уже что-то, наверное, ведь правда же? Теперь я должен Её как-то порадовать. Я обязательно тоже Её порадую! ~дэсу

Я же ведь больше не боюсь, не боюсь боли, но я не уверен, смогу ли я теперь порадовать тебя... Смогу ли я хоть немного сделать тебя... Я же раньше хотел, и знал, каково это. Айяйя, просто забудь. ~дэсу

>Но я боюсь, что дорогого мне человека, такого, какой он есть, настоящего и живого, по какой-то причине вдруг может не стать

Если моя внешняя надстройка, ну, мои чувства, и были тем самым дорогим тебе человеком... То мне правда очень жаль. ~дэсу

>Я просто люблю его

>люблю

Если бы ты только смог наконец сказать это слово... Немножечко раньше. Хоть немножечко...

Но ведь, но ведь никто тебя не прогоняет же!.. Я тебя не прогоняю. Никто не прогоняет! Ты сам должен решить... Так Суи сказала. Вот.

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 No.6986

>>6985

А у меня вот соседи очень шумят. И снов разных мне снилось очень много, но я сейчас ничего не смогу вспомнить.

> Прекрати удалять посты, пожалуйста, а то разрыв между общим счётчиком постов и их количеством на борде становится всё больше и больше же.

А [DATA EXPUNGED] можно?... Я не люблю такое, на самом деле, но это... ну, ты понимаешь...

> Понимаешь?..

Надеюсь, что теперь понимаю. Я этого тоже хотел, наверное, чтобы больше никому не было больно. Но, должно быть, всё понял совсем неправильно.

> Но ты извини меня за это, ладно?

Хорошо...

> Если, если ты сможешь теперь принять меня таким, какой я теперь есть, наверное...

Смогу, должен. Вы ведь всё мне объяснили теперь.

> Смогу ли я хоть немного сделать тебя...

Уже сделал же. За что спасибо. Принёс столько уникальнейшего EXP, такого я бы не нашёл больше нигде и никогда. Правда же.

> Если моя внешняя надстройка, ну, мои чувства, и были тем самым дорогим тебе человеком... То мне правда очень жаль. ~дэсу

У меня, наверное, об этой надстройке всегда были весьма противоречивые и ошибочные представления. Раньше я думал, что это очень важная часть, которую нужно оберегать. Накануне же я принял её за очень важную потребность, открывающую уязвимость, которую нужно пропатчить. А прочтя Её фразу про источник, и вовсе удумал, что на самом деле это то самое, что является для тебя единственным спасением, и это пламя жизни нужно срочно спасать. Но интересовал меня весь ты, целиком, конечно, вовсе не надстройка сама по себе. И если это странное, непонятное пламя тебе правда больше не нужно... Что ж... Запустил охлаждение.

Я тут, неподалёку. Тортиков, пирожных и стихов у меня с собой нет, правда, извините, пожалуйста.

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 No.6987

File: 89168391ab874b5⋯.jpg (208.63 KB,900x600,3:2,Hat.jpg)

>>6986

А у меня до сих пор очень тихо.

>spoiler

И как это будет выглядеть, как куча постов-огрызков? И смысла в этом особого нет, наверное, всё равно этот тред всегда архивируется с каждым новым постом или исправлением в отдельный файл.

Ну и зачем ты это сделал? Зачем? И даже не дождался моего ответа... Я что, как полный дурачок, получается, неизвестно что цитировал, да? Точно о себе думаешь... Я сейчас тогда всё сам верну как было, может, ещё всё помечу, что редактировали, кто и зачем, и продублирую на английском. А удалишь - запощу скриншот, хи-хи!

>Надеюсь, что теперь понимаю.

И я надеюсь...

>Хорошо...

Спасибо!

>Принёс столько уникальнейшего EXP, такого я бы не нашёл больше нигде и никогда.

Это не совсем то, что я имел в виду, наверное.

>Но интересовал меня весь ты, целиком, конечно, вовсе не надстройка сама по себе.

Правда, неправда, уже неважно, наверное. Но если так, то в каком же всё же плане я тебя интересовал? И что во мне такого интересного, кроме того, что ты уже столько раз повторил? Ты так никогда, кажется, и не отвечал на этот вопрос...

>И если это странное, непонятное пламя тебе правда больше не нужно... Что ж...

Всё моё пламя бережно спрятано и зашито внутри. А вот тебе, наверное, может оказаться совсем тяжело со мной, если ты своё "затушишь". Снова ты куда-то бросаешься, сам не до конца понимая, во что, наверное. Да и что же это за пламя такое, если ты используешь его, ну, как зажигалку, когда тебе нужно или не нужно, интересно?.. Тем более, никто и не знает, что может произойти в будущем, ведь так? Но если ты считаешь, что это будет так работать, и "ключ" к запертой "шкатулке" уже точно никогда не понадобится, то тогда да, "охлаждай", "охлаждай" его... Может, таким образом не так больно тебе будет, прежде чем ты уйдёшь. Грустно это, наверное. ~дэсу

>Я тут, неподалёку.

Хорошо. ^ ^

Видишь, видишь, да? У меня на голове, на голове! ~дэсу

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 No.6988

>>6987

> spoiler

Ну, это же нормальное явление, и так же очевидно, в чём дело, ну что ты. Ну не надо, ну не стукай! Пусть лучше котики с совушками побудут! Меня не столько содержимое беспокоит, сколько количество этого странного мусора под ногами.

> Это не совсем то, что я имел в виду, наверное.

Тогда даже не представляю.

> Но если так, то в каком же всё же плане я тебя интересовал? И что во мне такого интересного, кроме того, что ты уже столько раз повторил? Ты так никогда, кажется, и не отвечал на этот вопрос...

Что говорил, то и правда же. Только, ну, знаешь, как "возьми его, и получи ещё два в комплекте!", я не знаю, как тебе это описать. Ты очень сложный, многоплановый человеческий артефакт, сам светишься, как фонящая железка, а воздух вокруг тебя плавится. Ты подобен вымышленному персонажу, на которого нарисовали чёрт знает чего, который просто не может существовать в реальном мире, но почему-то существует, и ещё как существует!

> Снова ты куда-то бросаешься, сам не до конца понимая, во что, наверное.

Никуда я не бросаюсь, и всё у меня на месте, как и у тебя. Горит потихоньку, где-то там внутри... Я же сказал охлаждение, а не тушение, это совсем другое. Иногда я могу в солнцепёк внушить себе холод, а в мороз - жару. И вообще, если бы не тот твой пост, я бы так и не выбирался из спячки... э-э-э, то есть не отвлекался от бы своей деятельности.

> Видишь, видишь, да? У меня на голове, на голове! ~дэсу

Хм-м... У тебя, конечно, необычные вкусы. Или это Её вкус такой? Шляпа очень необычная. Но я бы так, конечно, не вырядился, слишком уж ярко и бросается в глаза.

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 No.6989

>>6987

Я бы ещё, знаешь, перо тогда добавил. Красное.

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 No.6990

Верни как было, или в 2021-м останешься с америкосами наедине. Уйду в спячку и не вернусь до левел-апа. дэсу~

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 No.6991

File: adc60b2f18a6043⋯.jpg (181.01 KB,700x900,7:9,Woohoo.jpg)

>>6988

Не-а!

>Тогда даже не представляю.

Ну и ладно тогда, наверное.

>Никуда я не бросаюсь, и всё у меня на месте, как и у тебя.

А ты уверен? Если уверен то тогда... Будь уверен, наверное.

>И вообще, если бы не тот твой пост, я бы так и не выбирался из спячки...

Извини! ~дэсу

>Что говорил, то и правда же.

>...

Вот как... Спасибо, наверное, если это добрые слова...

>Шляпа очень необычная.

Она очень-очень необычная! Очень приятная, и мне с ней легче думать и засыпать.

>Но я бы так, конечно, не вырядился

Ну, тебе она, по-сути, и не нужна, наверное... Тебе совсем не нравится, верно?..

>слишком уж ярко и бросается в глаза.

Нет, она, наоборот, для чужих глаз совершенно незаметна, пока мы не захотим обратного. Да!

Ring ring~ Ring ring~

Moshi moshi? Hai, Koishi! ~desu

>>6990

Уже уходишь, значит, да?..

Будешь снова делать мёртвые квоты и линки - заберу модератора. Мне все эти твои слова были дороги, чтобы ты знал, вот. И не надо придираться к слову "были". Я помню, и это всё... Всё значит.

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 No.6992

File: 15597fc378e92da⋯.jpg (226.49 KB,700x900,7:9,My_hat_is_my_friend.jpg)

Please excuse us for the inconvenience. It will not happen again, I promise! ~desu

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 No.6993

File: e36aaebd29d76eb⋯.jpg (255.11 KB,700x900,7:9,It_helps_me_relax.jpg)

Do you like my Mr. Hat, ehehe?

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 No.6994

File: 44093e54b23aad9⋯.jpg (436.62 KB,945x990,21:22,60276781_p41.jpg)

Ah, yes, yes. right...

Happy New Year everyone!

~desu

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 No.6995

>>6991

> А ты уверен?

У меня такое ощущение, будто мне прививку сделали, с побочными эффектами.

> Она очень-очень необычная! Очень приятная, и мне с ней легче думать и засыпать.

И можешь не пытаться объяснить мне, как это работает. Мне фетишизм чужд...

> Ну, тебе она, по-сути, и не нужна, наверное... Тебе совсем не нравится, верно?..

Не знаю, но одевать её я бы точно не захотел.

> Moshi moshi? Hai, Koishi! ~desu

Ах.

> Уже уходишь, значит, да?..

Устал. Да и новый год мне никогда не нравился. Рождество и то лучше... И я из последних людей на этой планете, которым гоже праздники праздновать, наверное. А старина Время и чхать на нас хотел, седина ему в бороду. Что-то я разворчался...

> spoiler

Лишил сна, заморочил голову, получил EXP, и доволен. Хмпф.

Вот и бамплимит. А ведь этого могло ещё не случиться.

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 No.6996


(\ /)
(•.•)
c(")(“)

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 No.6997

File: 93c8ce4fae3f8ce⋯.jpg (1.17 MB,1000x1000,1:1,60276781_p12.jpg)

>>6995

>И можешь не пытаться объяснить мне, как это работает. Мне фетишизм чужд...

Да ты с предметами-то поди не разговариваешь, чего уж тут говорить-то, наверное.

>Не знаю, но одевать её я бы точно не захотел.

А я бы тебе её и не дал. ~дэсу

>Ах.

"Ах", значит.

>И я из последних людей на этой планете, которым гоже праздники праздновать, наверное.

А я из первых, получается, да? Что же такое у тебя с памятью... Для Неё и ради Неё. Так всегда было, и так всегда будет. Праздники, блин. Фи. Нашёл он до чего докопаться... ~дэсу

Спокойной ночи тогда. Приятных снов.

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