/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

This isn't the

Ethical Wank Distribution Edition

warming wanks

>>260717

See >>260724

>>260725

We need >>259971

More >>259975

With good wankologists >>259987

>>260723

That lady has big feet

>>260711

Got some trackies, jogger pants and some jumpers from kmart yesterday, feeling very comfy.

>>260728

Do you wear hoodies, Shire?

>>260729

Yeah the jumpers I got were hoodies.

>>260730

I was going to say. Hoodies are very comfy at this time of year.

>>260731

Yep, looks like it going to warm up again during the week though, hopefully it starts getting cooler after that.

Psychotropic-induced wankruptcy

Shire my car has been making worrying noises when I'm not accelerating. You can hear something slowing down kind of like a truck or a powerful car would when I'm just cruising and not accelerating, its also happened as something is rattling in the dash and door. It sounds kind of like a manual car but it never has before

>>260734

Like a wirring/whining noise?

>>260735

Yeah you can hear it kind of whirr as its slowing down

>>260736

Hmm, does it change gears fine?

>>260737

Seems to

>>260738

Well that's good, does it drive fine overall? doesn't pull to one side or anything?

>>260739

Do you see many executive driven cars that tilt to a particular side?

>>260740

I've worked on some cars with warn suspension components that are suspiciously all on the drivers side.

>>260740

That's why executives need to resist the allure of the pencil thin asian mail order bride and get themselves a full figured aussie lady to sit next to them.

>>260609

>I think I pretty much didn't sleep

Not surprising, I find it very difficult to sleep rough when I'm alone, even camping alone is a bit sus.

>He's a bit sketchy about keeping the boat there

Fair enough, it's a quality looking boat. Was there a particular reason you got him it or was it just a gift?

>>260671

Some quality artwork.

>>260723

have a skinny dip

Did cruiseo acquire the NEET boat?

>>260744

The RapeShip has been acquired.

>>260745

Weber drilled a hole in it overnight, as promised.

>>260746

The wank hole.

Washing has been brought inside, and folded or hanged as required.

>>260747

A glory hole for mermaids.

You'd make a good housewife

>>260748

ProductiveNEET

>>260750

Would he wash all my cum stained clothing?

>>260735

How funny would it be, if you knew somebody you hated was away for a weekend, to go to their house, drain their differential housing, clean the gears and then tig weld them together and put the cover back on.

>>260752

He'd rub your nose in it

>>260750

Now I know why Mummybot used to get so cranky sometimes.

>>260753

Googling suggests retards actually do weld the wheel gears to create shitty drift cars. Don't weld the input obviously.

>>260753

Cunt would be fucked

>tfw warm hands

Afternoon wank

>>260759

I hope that 8 wank morning NEET gets up to 20 wanks.

Might go to hungry jacks instead of mcdonalds today for a change.

>>260760

What if his scrotum turns inside out?

>>260756

All the young kids do it, plenty of clowns at TAFE did it too, and chopped springs.

>>260762

Well wanked effort.

>>260763

Must be great dragging one wheel every time you park the car or go around a corner.

>>260746

A NEET will always need to plug it, we will take turns.

The NEETboat itself will be the communal gf

Tightanic

>>260750

He doesn't post here anymore.

>>260768

how is old mate?

>>260760

he'd better livestream the 20th if he does

>>260765

Yeah it's totally impractical for every day use, better off just getting a decent LSD.

>>260765

My dad had a xr ute that he did that to when he was young. It had skid steer like a forklift. Ended up rolling it on a straight road.

>>260771

Of course. If the dicks thought about it and saved their money for six months, they could build a separate shitbox for that sort of thing and keep a normal car for daily driving.

>>260773

fark

>>260770

I hope so to.

>>260773

lol

Mine got banned from the Fleurio by the local copper after he and his mates got drunk and took the muffler off the car and fanged it up and down between Victor and Port Elliot.

It ended up on the beach at Victor later on after he forgot to put the handbrake on and it went over the beach wall.

>>260769

I don't know, I should email him. I said he should pop in from time to time but he said he didn't plan to.

Amigo April is almost over. We were supposed to meet this month. We'll see how meet up May goes.

>>260778

There's always Jam It In His Pooper June.

>>260772

Good luck again

>>260778

Your post is missing an ellipsis at the end.

Looking forward to Masturbation May

>>260782

>IKTF

>>260781

three chicken periods

>>260774

Yeah, also another great thing - chinese made ebay turbo kits for various makes and models, last around 3 to 4 months and end up with a destroyed engine lel

>>260778

>I don't know, I should email him

Ask him what he's been wanking to for the Gen.

>>260777

Haha awesome. Did the cop get in shit for it;?

>>260787

Why would the cop get in the shit? My old man got in the shit because it was his father's Hillman Hunter.

>>260779

Hot

>>260788

Oh, I misread that.

That makes more sense.

>>260790

This was also back when being drunk as a skunk and doing 100 mile an hour just got you a dressing down from the local cop.

kek the Hillman Hunter should have kept the parent company name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rootes_Arrow

>>260792

I like how Rootes Group owned Commer

>>260785

Can you run a turbo without a dedicated intercooler?

>>260794

Yes, some older turbo cars didn't even have an intercooler.

>>260778

make sure to give him a big rape for us.

Can't say I've ever heard of a hillman hunter. Nice looking car though

>>260796

A NEET up wouldn't be complete without one.

Why the fuck are Serbian P2P servers so fast? I'm getting a faster connection then if I were to connect to an AUS IP.

>>260798

HOT

>>260797

I'm guessing they were made in Melbourne. Don't know how common they were, although the Hunter was apparently the most common of the Hillman line up.

>>260799

Most of the world has better internet than us. We literally have two cables to the outside world.

>>260802

Oh right I keep forgetting how much of a disaster the NBN was.

I bet there are some 3rd world countries with better internet speeds then us.

Where can I find a rich neet husband?

>>260753

It would be funnier if you mowed their lawn and washed their car

>>260791

Now they just fine you and take all your money, they won't even try to molest you

>>260804

Buckingham Palace

>>260804

How old are you? Tell us about yourself.

>>260806

> they won't even try to molest you

Disappointing…

Ignoring the idiot getting under the car with just the Commodore jack holding it up, is this street legal? He's basically removed the muffler from what I can tell.

>>260804

Aged care facilitys

fucking gold diggers

>>260810

It's just a muffler delete, technically the police could defect it but I doubt they would.

>>260812

Sweet. Might put a pair on the SV6.

>>260804

maybe you could shack up with one of the dspneets

>>260813

I had a straight pipe and a set of headers on an EF XR6 Falcon, was pretty fun.

>>260815

Cool. I've never modded any car of mine. I'm getting rid of it in a couple of months, so I might make it as obnoxious as possible and enjoy it during that time.

>>260816

It won't add any power or anything, just makes it sound mean as fuck, I've also got a slip on muffle for my bike, the stock one sounded horrible.

I should have bought one of these.

>>260817

Yeah I didn't expect it would.

Looks like a manifold insulator and performance air filter might squeeze a weency bit more out of it without needing to do any actual work on it.

>>260819

Wouldn't be anything really noticeable, however if you threw in a couple of bigger cams and got it dyno tuned it would be pretty spicy.

>>260820

Yeah, but then I'd be putting more than a couple of hundred bucks into it and get attached to the bloody thing again.

>>260821

lol yeah, that'd be the only problem, they sound pretty good with a cam and exhaust system.

>>260822

Sounds nice. Idling a bit fast though isn't it?

>>260743

He was talking about sailing a year or so ago but opted out of doing the course because he didn't have and couldn't afford a boat.

>quality artwork.

Not high quality enough, he rushed it.

>>260823

>Idling a bit fast though isn't it?

Nah, big lumpy cam sound.

>>260767

Only for the exec pen0r NEETs

>>260825

Oh ok. The guy who lives down the road has a big cam in his car and he has slowed the idle down to the point where it stalls if he leaves it idling for more than 30 seconds or so. Like one thump every second.

>>260827

Yeah he must have a really big cam or some custom grind.

Car goes broom broom

>>260781

I had to wait to get home to look that up.

>>260784

well bantered.

>>260828

Body looks like a Torana. I suspect the engine is totally custom. We're not on speaking terms so I don't know.

Years back he dropped one of his kids over my padlocked gate on Halloween and I went off the deep end at them.

>>260831

Did I ever mention the time I looked out my window and saw two boong kids trying to syphon sniff out of the commie? I confronted them and then went back in to call the cops. Cops wouldn't let me use the word 'Aboriginal' each time I tried to describe them. Eventually a cop phoned me to say he'd caught them.

>>260833

>Cops wouldn't let me use the word 'Aboriginal' each time I tried to describe them

How did you describe them then?

>>260824

Nice, I have some childhood friends who grew up sailing, they seemed to really enjoy it.

>Not high quality enough

True, he should have did it over a few days, detailed stuff can be tedious but well worth the results. I have some spare canvases I've been meaning to paint recently but haven't found the motivation for. Have a month free next week so hopefully I'll get into it, it's on my list of to-dos.

>>260834

The operator asked for a description and each time I said aboriginal she said "I can't put that". I got shitty about PC nonsense the 3rd time and she apologised. Basically just wanted height and clothing. Absolute garbage.

Trying a coles strawberry, raspberry, banana, pear and mango and blueberry smoothy.

Not from concentrate and no added sugar, actually tastes pretty good.

>>260844

Can you actually taste all 6 fruits? Wine makers reckon the limit is about 4 different perceptible tastes at the same time.

>>260845

Not really, maybe the raspberry is most prominent.

Its still 33% of daily sugar intake however.

How're you going Monk?

Hanging in there?

>>260847

>Hanging in there?

Only time will tell.

>>260847

Doing fine now, everything back to normal.

Got some phone calls to make tomorrow so its back to real life.

Having a big clean up in my comfy new trackies.

>>260849

>Having a big clean up in my comfy new trackies.

have you ripped a massive fart in them yet?

>>260849

Any good wanks planned?

>>260849

I christen any new pair of pants by doing a shit in them and scooting around the floor to grind it all in

>>260849

Good shit man, chin up.

>>260853

>>260852

>>260850

Not yet, though I'm sure they wont retain as much fart moisture unlike my other pair.

>>260851

Might take a wank break after the dishes

Listening to Chuck by Sum41, it was the soundtrack to the hardest, shittiest part of my life.

>>260858

>shittiest part

Like low quality poos low?

>>260859

Senokot low poos.

>>260860

Did you try wanking the pain away?

>>260855

Would have to be one of those white boongs

>>260862

if Game of Thrones has taught us anything, it is that people who want power are not deserving of it

>>260863

That coffee cup looks very traditional

>>260861

Yes. Worked wonders.

NIGGERS

No Harry Potter tonight :-(

>>260868

I should phone that bitch at the TV station. I bet she's missing me.

I've been listening to this song for close to 15 years and didn't click that this song is called NOOTs

>>260870

The story of a twelve year old girl.

Rambo isn't on tonight either. Just 2001: A Space Autist and some other female shit.

>>260872

Time to pop in your dads boong blueray?

>>260873

I caught up the last series of Gamer of Thrones over the last few days and torrented the two current episodes, so I could eat h those.

>>260872

On the super secret channel their playing rambo and Harry potter

>>260875

you need to stop lying you dirty boong

>>260876

what is this shit

>>260878

This is my body.

>>260879

they need to genocide women after that other group

>>260881

I excitedly opened this in another window thinking it was some kind of genious youtube video.

>>260883

ree

had 2 showers but can still smell the boong I fucked last night lads

>tfw severely depressed

>>260885

She's probably thinking the same.

>>260887

probably, I had the whiskey dick after i blew the first time so had to throw it in her soft (duffle bag style) and kept slipping out.

>tfw even a middle aged boong doesn't want to fuck you again

>>260885

that smell will never go away m8

>tfw severely impressed

>>260886

You need to have another goon m8.

>>260888

Your snake was a little too slippery

>>260888

>(duffle bag style)

thank you for this mental image

>>260885

You can't wash the soul

>>260894

sad to say, I've fucked worse.

>>260895

Confess and repent my son

Misso's friend gave birth.

Here it comes.. Every time someone she knows has a kid.

>>260896

<Unlikely

>>260897

you need to show her a few 2 year olds… they're fucking arseholes

>>260897

Can you balance the duties of fatherhood with the responsibility of neetposting?

>>260899

Or show her a few 18 year old neets

>>260900

I wouldn't trust most of you with a post-it note let along a kid

>>260896

I once dosed a 39 year old woman I'd fucked who had an ass like Hank Hill and meth addict teeth with LSD so I could claim she was a nutcase once it kicked it and leave.

>>260897

>"ohhh I can't wait until that's us anon"

same old shit

>>260902

I accidentally sat on my post it notes and creased them all so that's a fair assessment

>>260901

I can do the analysis for her.

>>260900

> no one commented on these goddesses in my OC

< pathetic stolen wanks the lot of you >>260905

>>260900

Well if John could..

>>260858

I remember listening to those guys while playing a lot of Runescape long ago. Good times

>>260906

>>260907

I could tell that you were perving on them and you didn't want them to see. I could tell because the picture was blurry.

>>260907

I did not consider them worthy of my male gaze

>>260908

I hope his tale isn't repeated

>>260903

>same old shit

More the Why don't we try like other people do?

>>260915

Tattoos and shoes on a seat? No thank you

>>260915

disgusting

>>260915

I have recently examined her indigenous counterpart.

>>260907

>>260915

creep shots, standards here have dropped in recent times

>>260919

We had creepshots in the gen three years ago

>>260919

HEY POSSUM!

>>260921

This is why he doesn't wank here anymore.

who or what is a post malone?

I don't want to start a trend it's an hour train trip from Gold Coast to Brisbane on a Sunday Night. It's about as messy as it gets ;)n

>>260923

maybe it's related to post modernism

>>260915

she's a fucking fat gross ass fuck pig

>>260923

It's a post that's gone

>>260923

tattooed auto-tune rappers that thots love

>>260921

no, but it does appear nurofen plus poster has got a few orbitors here

>>260925

i think i need a new tutor after her last instagram post about "it".

>>260924

Take pictures of the mess please.

>>260931

Take videos and goad people into fights

>>260931

He probably is the mess

>>260933

>>260932

Even better.

>>260929

NUROFEN GROUPIE

Had a large crispy chicken mcwrap meal for din dins, and for the first time I can remember I used paper towel to wipe my hands and mouth, instead of wiping it on my trackies or hoody.

These new kmart clothes will be kept clean, like a regular person.

>>260937

You're going to make it.

>>260936

I miss the days when you did that to me…

>>260939

FAGGOT GROUPIE

>>260930

Get those fingers working and use them on her.

>>260929

I can see a coup d'etat in the making

>>260940

He is many things but a faggot is not among them. His dad though…

>>260942

pronounced COOTER GRAAAAAAAW you dumb dumbs

>>260945

Good lord is she aware of your creepshotting?

>>260945

>>260946

That only makes it better.

>>260945

bruises, needle marks and cellulite

truly a fapper's delight

>>260941

I think I'm going to give up.

>>260939

>you

He*.

>>260948

I said a hip hop

Hippie to the hippie

The hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it out

Bubba to the bang bang boogie, boobie to the boogie

To the rhythm of the boogie the beat

>>260949

I have that rapeplay game on my PC

>>260945

Touch her.

>>260952

Hop on boong cock

>>260950

No you're not going to be like the old Father. Keep persisting or he'll come back and wank to your posts.

>>260951

Hot

>>260956

He didn't do that. He has never done that.

Tonight on A Current Affair, the dangers of unemployed prevents on Brisbanes railways

>>260959

Tracy might finally notice our existence

>>260960

Tracy is a filthy jew

>>260961

There is nothing wrong with that

>>260953

Do a rape through for us.

>>260963

The games actually kind of hard and it's not very good anyway

>>260964

Sounds like you're an unskilled rapist

>>260965

just doesn't have the cheat code

>>260966

Goon+NK's Big Boong Magic RAPE Pills UNNA+weed

>>260965

It's a Japanese game so it's hard to tell if the women are consenting or not

Haven't heard from 10k in a while

>>260969

He's in prison. I told him posting here about his crime was dumb.

Heck.

>>260973

Has anybody bothered winding the contrast up on these stupid fucking pictures? I haven't, but I can tell there's something there.

>>260977

Real intelligent.

aboriginal photography

I am back NEETs, the car is fucked but at least the image in the gen is the territories as they should be UNNA

>>260981

Indigenous scene grabbing

>>260982

>the car is fucked

You're living the genuine boong life now

im depressed again and its not even about going to work tomorrow

>>260986

Me too but it is about going to work tomorrow

>>260923

white rapper, who was in a how to basic video

>>260989

a what

>>260990

a youtuber who throws Chicken Periods at shit

I wish I could pay someone to kill me.

>>260984

She'll be right she's in the shops it's just a radiator

>>260993

How much is a plane ticket to Syria

>>260993

Why do that when there are free alternatives?

https://theboxhouston.com/8586872/brazilian-teenager-dies-after-masturbating-42-times-without-stopping/

>>260996

Not reading, but if he didn't stop wouldn't that just be 1 time?

>>260997

That depends on what exactly constitutes a wank. We'll need our best wankologists to debate the matter.

I hope there's an afterlife so I can give my mum a hug again. She said she loved me hugging her and I never did that enough, such a simple thing to make a wonderful woman happy and I blew it. Make sure to hug your mums and tell them you love them. It's almost been two and a half years and I still wake up thinking she's just out in the lounge room. I just want to say sorry to her for always being angry.

>>260996

Probably a good thing he died, the debt from those wank sprees would be enormous

>>260999

I punch my mum in the face

>>260999

well deserved trips, you deserve a gf for that post

>>261002

I'd rather not put anyone through dating me. Not until I get my shit sorted.

>>261003

fair enough, we all have problems, we just need to figure shit out at one step at a time UNNA

>>261003

No one here has ever got their shit sorted, best just settle for a shit gf

>>261004

One wank at a time

>>261006

or 42, depending on your definition

we haven't had a single danpost in this thread

that's because we are better than that

are we though

>>261012

By Miami do you mean the Gold Coast

You're confusing me with your names NurofenNEET

>>261012

Oh yeah. Top Shelf. Second from Left. That Yalba Savion Blanc is 12.99 and based as fuck. Nice one Dan.

>>261014

why are you replying to yourself you fucking boong

>>261016

charge your phone you fucking boong

>>261017

I'm not home you boong and I have 2 phones !!! I have a iPhone 6s and I tether it to a iPhone 5 and just change the wifi DNS to 1.1.1.1 so can shit post here here on the fly. VPNs are good but mine can hang occasionally.

>>261018

Why the fuck do you have shitty overpriced phones you can't afford holy fug

>>261019

I built them from parts faggot didn't cost me anything except a chink screen.

I just pay 40 bucks a month for 80 gigabytes of data. I'm fucking golden cunt

>>261020

so you found a broken one on the side of the road :^)

>>261021

Friend managed a nightclub. Had a drawer filled unclaimed iPhones. 1/10 were not iCloud locked. 5/10 were shattered. You do the math.

NOTHING GAY ABOUT GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED

night all

>>261024

Nite o neet o

>>261012

Very dodgy looking dans

>>261026

BLASPHEMER !

>>261024

night

>>260858

>>260866

>>260871

Man this album takes me back, especially Pieces. Does This Look Infected? was good too.

Gonna have to download it again, no idea what happened to all the old music I use to have saved.

>>260881

Decent.

>>260915

The only respectable part of the photo is the smug pepe.

>>260999

Wholesome post.

I will be sure to give my mummybot a hug next time I see her.

>>261024

Goon night.

Whats your daily wank record neets? Got 7 back in year 7, took a sick day and went hard, last 3 were dry and very painful if I recall, went for an 8th but just couldn't

>>260919

I remember NK's creepshots from the times just around when we split from /aus/ were ones of very high quality.

>>261012

>Open until 3am

I call bullshit, here in Shitbourne there's only a handful of bottle shops in the entire city that are open after around 11pm even on a Friday or Saturday night.

>>261031

5 or 6, the last 3 of which was while I was in a state of being very, very gooned up, and were quite easy as a result.

>>261031

Honestly don't recall my highest score, probably around 5. I'm much more of a "less is more" kinda guy.

>>261031

What's your root record? you wanker.

Sleep time. Night Night NEETs.

>>261035

50

>>261037

>Mum hands son in to police

That's what happens to you if you don't have enough GBP

>>261034

Can't help ya, sorry.

>>261039

Or wanks

Zizek

>>261030

Use the right pronouns please

>>261036

Night.

>>261043

What's the correct pronoun?

>>261045

Centrelink outcast

>>261046

They centerlink outcast them

>>261047

Condemned to wage the earth

Extremely tight aboriginal anus

An aboriginal and Tony Abbott walk into a bar….

Brash boong semen

>>261050

Im trans

>>261054

Make sure to suck boss mans dick for extra wagebux

>>261054

Good night.

Thanks for all the NEETbux

Big boong willy

Wanked poo

unnas on speed-dial

Can't sleep without alcohol ffs

>>261060

Drink goon

Why does poo smell bad?

>>261054

Goodnight

My medication stole my wanks

>>261063

Same, took pill number 3 maybe an hour ago.

Gonna finish this toast with butter then pop a pull 200 mg. Been tossing and turning since about 10 with anxious thoughts and random songs stuck in my head.

My life as a wagie starts in 7 hours and 50 minutes

>>261066

Have a wank to relieve the anxious thoughts

>>261067

Good luck, may your cage be not induce rage and your wage be worth the slave.

>>261067

I start my placement in around a month, going to feel strange working so long for no wage.

>>261069

>may your cage be not induce rage and your wage be worth the slave.

Goodnight NEETs

>>261072

GN

Im'a try get some sleep also.

Going to take out a wank loan at a high interest rate

>>261074

This is why POSSUM is a mong cunt.

>>261074

lol

>>261075

Careful, I heard their loan officer RapeDad is pretty strict when collecting overdue wanks.

>>261079

spoken like a true

NIGGER

>>261067

1 hour and 50 minutes.

Good luck today mate.

>>261081

Thanks

>>261082

I wish you luck too, Shitey.

Good morning friends.

c00n p00n

eat h Chicken Period

>>261083

Thanks

>>261084

Good morning

bega

poon

Chicken Period bega jew

>>261074

>>261084

Goon /Good Morning NEETs!

Each week I need to take out a loan due to wankrupcy then it takes all week to pay off the interest,

This is no way to live. The people at the top own all the wanks.

>>261092

Morning

>>261094

>>261091

>>261092

Good morning

50 (fifty) minutes

>>261095

Morning

>>261096

You'll be fine mate.

Off I go

CUNTING CUNT BAG

>>261099

DAD

CUNT OFF YOU CUNTS

HOLY CUNT WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT FAT CUNT

POSSUM IS A MONG CUNT

DEADLY CUNTA

USE MY ARSEHOLE AS A CUNT

>>261084

CUNTING GOOD MORNING YOU CUNT

The Legend is the only female to have the same sex marriage in her life as a little girl and a great gift for the price of the problem and she is open minded to the toilet paper that is the only female in her family.

You know she is the computer and she's been in her house and I are gonna have her on a break in my ass and i'm not going for it but whatever happens i'm still in my pussy ass I have my first date in a row with the same guy I know it and it looks pretty much different to the gay thing.

>>261099