No.416778
>friend is warhammer secondary (DoW fag)
>because he's kind of a /pol/ack, keeps making muh emperor jokes
>I'm eldar alligned so I throw a few turkroach on a throne jokes his way
>he gets autistically defensive
>disappears from society for a week
>comes back
>claims to have read the books and that I was right, the emperor is a gay atheist that wanted to become a chaos god
>this isn't how it was supposed to go
>keeps talking about how horus was right, chaos is humanity's greatest potential, the emperor supressed religion despite gods being real and that proves that he's against humanity growing by calling on the ruinous powers
>goes on to claiming that nurgle is actually a jesus figure
>a while later comes to movie night smelling weird
>politely inquire
>"I actually stopped showering to please nurgle"
>literally his words
>mfw
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No.416781
What do you do to honor your Eldar gods? It sounds like that Chaos worshipper is still alive.
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No.416793
First rule of the nu-internet: Jokes aren't just jokes anymore.
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No.416794
>>416778
>Eldar fuck around
>create a new chaos god.
>Eldar player fucks with his Imperial friend
>creates a new chaos worshipper.
Like pottery.
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No.416796
>>416778
I genuinely hope you are joking. The Emperor knows I can’t tell the difference anymore.
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No.416808
>>416794
now i fear that OP will have his downfall at the hands of own faggotry
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No.416817
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No.416824
>>416778
>OP actually manages to get his friend to start worshipping Chaos
>Somehow guides his friend towards Nurgle
Dude, could you not even hook him up with some local Slaaneshi cultists?
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No.416826
>>416824
>Slaanesh
Please. The least he could do was create a servant of Khorne. No need to gain even more degenerate filth.
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No.416828
>>416778
just tell him to get a damn shower and stop larping
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No.416829
>>416778
You should remind him that the Emperor came into being in Anatolia around 8000BC, literally thousands of years before any Turkic people were anywhere near there. You should also bully him for being a filthy jew-worshipping christcuck.
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No.416830
>>416829
Right, so he's a cave-dwelling neanderthal instead. Much better.
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No.416833
>>416829
>Modern Day Anatolia
And then it turns out that the Emps was responsible for raising Göbleki Tepe.
Which would be pretty unlikely, considering this place is dated well before 8000 BC
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No.416838
The only believable part of this post is that 40k fans don't bathe. They're all as smelly and ugly as a bull dyke in heat.
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No.416850
>>416778
isha is the cockslave of papa nurgle
clutch to your spirit rocks now, your capricious race is doomed
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No.416858
>>416838
Hey buddy, get lost on your way to /v/?
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No.416868
>>416833
I'd rather guess the shamans that fused into the emperor were the scions of Atlantis.
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No.416876
>>416850
Punished Roboute will save us.
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No.416886
Funny story. Reminds me the time I convinced a DoW secondary to research the Tau more. The guy started to dye his skin blue for game nights, and distribute copies of the communist manifesto.
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No.416910
>>416829
So the emperor let the age of strife happen?
Then he banned religion while knowing about the afterlife?
That's like textbook "see me as a deity" planning. I refuse to believe your false god was that retarded.
Just face it, it's true. All of it. Horus was right.
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No.416914
>>416778
>be me
>constantly in trouble for doing scary shit but never any witnesses other than lying people
>get diagnosed schizophrenic because I think telepathy is real
>go to the mental hospital
>find a guy there
>motherfucker has merca
>ask him what happened
>do some mental telepathy
>guess that he did it on purpose
>he dodges it the entire time, know that he did it on purpose
>ask if he was trying to kill himself
>he grumbles "if ya want my soul you'll have to smell my fart" as he walks past, obviously angry
>told not to talk to him
>ok w/e
Mental hospitals are crazy man, you should see what happens there.
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No.416916
>>416914
>be you
Sounds horrible.
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No.416931
>>416914
I knew the >be me posters were mentally ill.
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No.416937
>>416914
Why the fuck didn’t you smell his farts? It was foolish of him to reveal his power level like that.
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No.416945
>>416910
>Horus was right.
No, Horus was an egotistical fool and a useful idiot for Chaos at best. The only sane man in 30K is the one, true, hyperautist - Perturabo.
He only wanted to help.
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No.416947
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No.416953
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No.416958
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