No.1089 [Last50 Posts]
Cain/Abel International Miracle Competition
Rules: Do an offering in the form of a poem, image, praise, Moses comic, or whatever floats God's boat. The entry must fit in one 8Chan comment. Place "dice 5d10" in the comment form's email and submit. Then, look-up the line number the dice indicate in this official King James Bible.
http://www.templeos.org/files/NumBible.TXT . Post the resulting line number's passage from the Bible, up to 20 lines.
God said offerings must be blemish-free.
____________________________
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Post last edited at
No.1091
 | Rolled 3, 9, 2, 4, 6 = 24 |
Praise You, God, for…
Snowflakes, pine cones, Russian tea, the smell of flowers, hot chocolate, marshmellows.
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No.1092
>>1091Line 39246
thyself: 21:14 Behold, with a great plague will the LORD smite thy
people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: 21:15 And
thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy
bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day.
21:16 Moreover the LORD stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the
Philistines, and of the Arabians, that were near the Ethiopians: 21:17
And they came up into Judah, and brake into it, and carried away all
the substance that was found in the king's house, and his sons also,
and his wives; so that there was never a son left him, save Jehoahaz,
the youngest of his sons.
21:18 And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an
incurable disease.
21:19 And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of
two years, his bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died
of sore diseases. And his people made no burning for him, like the
burning of his fathers.
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No.1093
>>1091>>1092God's humor is that bowels smell like flowers and brown like chocolate and I would guess bowels look like marshmellows.
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No.1094
| Rolled 1, 1, 2, 7, 10 = 21 |
>>1089I will do a Moses comic:
God says, "Moses, tell the people not to have sex for a month."
Moses says, "What? Do I have to?"
God says, "In nine months we learn who is not obedient."
Moses says, "No needs for that – we know you know everything."
——
Moses says to the people, "God wants to see who is obedient in nine months. No sex for a month, starting today."
Jew in the crowd says, "Ba ha! My wife is already pregnant."
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No.1095
>>1094Line 11270
freewill offerings, which they will offer unto the LORD for a burnt
offering; 22:19 Ye shall offer at your own will a male without
blemish, of the beeves, of the sheep, or of the goats.
22:20 But whatsoever hath a blemish, that shall ye not offer: for it
shall not be acceptable for you.
22:21 And whosoever offereth a sacrifice of peace offerings unto the
LORD to accomplish his vow, or a freewill offering in beeves or sheep,
it shall be perfect to be accepted; there shall be no blemish therein.
22:22 Blind, or broken, or maimed, or having a wen, or scurvy, or
scabbed, ye shall not offer these unto the LORD, nor make an offering
by fire of them upon the altar unto the LORD.
22:23 Either a bullock or a lamb that hath any thing superfluous or
lacking in his parts, that mayest thou offer for a freewill offering;
but for a vow it shall not be accepted.
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No.1096
>>1089itd be easier if the bible was numbered line by line.
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No.1097
>>1096Thanks! That's good idea.
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No.1098
| Rolled 5, 6, 1, 8, 5 = 25 |
I will do a poem:
The pine-cone, pointy sticks,
Sweet smelling, or is it ick?
Incense is lost
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No.1099
>>1098Line 56185
56185 nor for princes strong drink: 31:5 Lest they drink, and forget the
56186 law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
56187
56188 31:6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto
56189 those that be of heavy hearts.
56190
56191 31:7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no
56192 more.
56193
56194 31:8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are
56195 appointed to destruction.
56196
56197 31:9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the
56198 poor and needy.
56199
56200 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above
56201 rubies.
56202
56203 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he
56204 shall have no need of spoil.
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No.1100
>>1098>>1099I posted
>>981 and an ad against drunk driving appeared on 8Chan.
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No.1103
| Rolled 10, 8, 8, 10, 5 = 41 |
>>1089I will do a Moses comic:
Moses says, "Aaron wants to ride shotgun the next time You talk."
God says, "I've got a license to kill."
http://www.metrolyrics.com/paul-revere-lyrics-beastie-boys.html Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.1104
>>1103Line 08805
08805
08806 38:13 And for the east side eastward fifty cubits.
08807
08808 38:14 The hangings of the one side of the gate were fifteen cubits;
08809 their pillars three, and their sockets three.
08810
08811 38:15 And for the other side of the court gate, on this hand and that
08812 hand, were hangings of fifteen cubits; their pillars three, and their
08813 sockets three.
08814
08815 38:16 All the hangings of the court round about were of fine twined
08816 linen.
08817
08818 38:17 And the sockets for the pillars were of brass; the hooks of the
08819 pillars and their fillets of silver; and the overlaying of their
08820 chapiters of silver; and all the pillars of the court were filleted
08821 with silver.
08822
08823 38:18 And the hanging for the gate of the court was needlework, of
08824 blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine twined linen: and twenty
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No.1105
>>1103>>1104Closed Captioning: East side is a gang.
You get out of God what you put into.
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No.1106
| Rolled 8, 4, 1, 9, 4 = 26 |
I will offer charming conversation:
So, Mr. God, the Pope went to confession:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZPKPoAy-eEIs he a bad pope?
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No.1107
>>1106Line 84194
84194 forgive him.
84195
84196 17:5 And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.
84197
84198 17:6 And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye
84199 might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and
84200 be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.
84201
84202 17:7 But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle,
84203 will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and
84204 sit down to meat? 17:8 And will not rather say unto him, Make ready
84205 wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten
84206 and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? 17:9 Doth he
84207 thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him?
84208 I trow not.
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No.1108
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No.1109
| Rolled 8, 6, 4, 3, 1 = 22 |
My offerings is delightful conversation.
I will offer this! You liked that last one, Mr. God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfyTsI9iXDEWe have our own gospel to preach, huh God. Is the Pope any good at offerings. <God laughed>
You think I could beat the Pope in a miracle competition, Mr. God?
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No.1110
>>1109Line 86431
86431 9:23 Therefore said his parents, He is of age; ask him.
86432
86433 9:24 Then again called they the man that was blind, and said unto him,
86434 Give God the praise: we know that this man is a sinner.
86435
86436 9:25 He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not:
86437 one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.
86438
86439 9:26 Then said they to him again, What did he to thee? how opened he
86440 thine eyes? 9:27 He answered them, I have told you already, and ye
86441 did not hear: wherefore would ye hear it again? will ye also be his
86442 disciples? 9:28 Then they reviled him, and said, Thou art his
86443 disciple; but we are Moses' disciples.
86444
86445 9:29 We know that God spake unto Moses: as for this fellow, we know
86446 not from whence he is.
86447
86448 9:30 The man answered and said unto them, Why herein is a marvellous
86449 thing, that ye know not from whence he is, and yet he hath opened mine
86450 eyes.
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No.1111
| Rolled 1, 10, 5, 8, 7 = 31 |
I will offer delightful conversation:
What's the funniest thing a person ever gave-up for lent, Mr. God?
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No.1112
>>1111Line 10587
10587 unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.
10588
10589 15:21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe
10590 himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
10591
10592 15:22 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash
10593 his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the
10594 even.
10595
10596 15:23 And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth,
10597 when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
10598
10599 15:24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him,
10600 he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall
10601 be unclean.
10602
10603 15:25 And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the
10604 time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her
10605 separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as
10606 the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.
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No.1114
| Rolled 5, 3, 10, 6, 10 = 34 |
I will offer this video of some guy trolling his brother by getting a progamer to play for him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbkYQ1Iaq6wTell us, Mr. God, did You help David kill Goliath or did he do it on his own?
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No.1115
>>1114Line 53060
53060
53061 132:17 There will I make the horn of David to bud: I have ordained a
53062 lamp for mine anointed.
53063
53064 132:18 His enemies will I clothe with shame: but upon himself shall
53065 his crown flourish.
53066
53067
53068
53069 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell
53070 together in unity!
53071
53072 133:2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down
53073 upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of
53074 his garments;
53075
53076 133:3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the
53077 mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even
53078 life for evermore.
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No.1116
>>1115I have a lamp at my right hand.
Enemies in shame.
Brothers on good terms. I have brothers, a smurf. We are on neutral terms.
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No.1117
| Rolled 10, 1, 1, 6, 1 = 19 |
I will offer this Seinfeld video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCTo1_lgMwIf he were talking about doing offerings…
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No.1118
>>1117Line 01161
01161 blessing: 12:3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him
01162 that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be
01163 blessed.
01164
01165 12:4 So Abram departed, as the LORD had spoken unto him; and Lot went
01166 with him: and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed
01167 out of Haran.
01168
01169 12:5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all
01170 their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had
01171 gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan;
01172 and into the land of Canaan they came.
01173
01174 12:6 And Abram passed through the land unto the place of Sichem, unto
01175 the plain of Moreh. And the Canaanite was then in the land.
01176
01177 12:7 And the LORD appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will I
01178 give this land: and there builded he an altar unto the LORD, who
01179 appeared unto him.
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No.1119
| Rolled 7, 9, 5, 1, 2 = 24 |
Who's Your favorite Seinfeld character, Mr. God?
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No.1120
>>1119Line 79512
79512 he said unto his disciples, 26:2 Ye know that after two days is the
79513 feast of the passover, and the Son of man is betrayed to be crucified.
79514
79515 26:3 Then assembled together the chief priests, and the scribes, and
79516 the elders of the people, unto the palace of the high priest, who was
79517 called Caiaphas, 26:4 And consulted that they might take Jesus by
79518 subtilty, and kill him.
79519
79520 26:5 But they said, Not on the feast day, lest there be an uproar
79521 among the people.
79522
79523 26:6 Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper,
79524 26:7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very
79525 precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.
79526
79527 26:8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To
79528 what purpose is this waste? 26:9 For this ointment might have been
79529 sold for much, and given to the poor.
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No.1121
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No.1122
| Rolled 2, 7, 9, 6, 5 = 29 |
What do You think of this Navy gun, Mr. God?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8YIsUAwCGg Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.1123
>>1122Line 27965
27965 13:11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of
27966 her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
27967
27968 13:12 And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no
27969 such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
27970
27971 13:13 And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee,
27972 thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray
27973 thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
27974
27975 13:14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger
27976 than she, forced her, and lay with her.
27977
27978 13:15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith
27979 he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And
27980 Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
27981
27982 13:16 And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending
27983 me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he
27984 would not hearken unto her.
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No.1124
>>1123Dud, except I petted my dog in bed. God said pets are homo.
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No.1127
| Rolled 8, 3, 3, 4, 9 = 27 |
Putin hates when I post Navy stuff. Retaliates, LOL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2r3Ov8GYr4Protect us, Mr. God!
You think Kasparov will compete?
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No.1128
>>1127Line 83349
83349 10:8 And into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you, eat such
83350 things as are set before you: 10:9 And heal the sick that are therein,
83351 and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you.
83352
83353 10:10 But into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you not, go
83354 your ways out into the streets of the same, and say, 10:11 Even the
83355 very dust of your city, which cleaveth on us, we do wipe off against
83356 you: notwithstanding be ye sure of this, that the kingdom of God is
83357 come nigh unto you.
83358
83359 10:12 But I say unto you, that it shall be more tolerable in that day
83360 for Sodom, than for that city.
83361
83362 10:13 Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the
83363 mighty works had been done in Tyre and Sidon, which have been done in
83364 you, they had a great while ago repented, sitting in sackcloth and
83365 ashes.
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No.1129
>>1128Bethesda, MD.
City gets nuked and wipe dust off of you.
Sodom got nuked.
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No.1130
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
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No.1131
>>1130Line 73781
73781 a wife, and for a wife he kept sheep.
73782
73783 12:13 And by a prophet the LORD brought Israel out of Egypt, and by a
73784 prophet was he preserved.
73785
73786 12:14 Ephraim provoked him to anger most bitterly: therefore shall he
73787 leave his blood upon him, and his reproach shall his LORD return unto
73788 him.
73789
73790 13:1 When Ephraim spake trembling, he exalted himself in Israel; but
73791 when he offended in Baal, he died.
73792
73793 13:2 And now they sin more and more, and have made them molten images
73794 of their silver, and idols according to their own understanding, all
73795 of it the work of the craftsmen: they say of them, Let the men that
73796 sacrifice kiss the calves.
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No.1132
>>1131Dud? I lose the competition. I am still learning what God likes. He seems more stingy, than before.
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No.1133
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
| Rolled 3, 6, 7, 8, 3 = 27 |
Stallman is an atheist, Mr. God.
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No.1134
>>1133Line 36783
36783 destroyed it.
36784
36785 20:2 And David took the crown of their king from off his head, and
36786 found it to weigh a talent of gold, and there were precious stones in
36787 it; and it was set upon David's head: and he brought also exceeding
36788 much spoil out of the city.
36789
36790 20:3 And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut them with
36791 saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt David
36792 with all the cities of the children of Ammon. And David and all the
36793 people returned to Jerusalem.
36794
36795 20:4 And it came to pass after this, that there arose war at Gezer
36796 with the Philistines; at which time Sibbechai the Hushathite slew
36797 Sippai, that was of the children of the giant: and they were subdued.
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No.1135
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No.1136
>>1135Okay, I will now prove God. the first thing you have to know is you get a response from God equal to the effort you put into your offering. Or, maybe the quality. God likes some offerings and not others.
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No.1137
| Rolled 8, 7, 2, 6, 1 = 24 |
Let's ask God who the best missionaries are… Stallman's followers, Mormons or early Christians. <LOL> What do You think of Columbus' missionaries, Mr. God? Do You like missionaries?
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No.1138
>>1137Line 87261
87261 loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came
87262 out from God.
87263
87264 16:28 I came forth from the Father, and am come into the world: again,
87265 I leave the world, and go to the Father.
87266
87267 16:29 His disciples said unto him, Lo, now speakest thou plainly, and
87268 speakest no proverb.
87269
87270 16:30 Now are we sure that thou knowest all things, and needest not
87271 that any man should ask thee: by this we believe that thou camest
87272 forth from God.
87273
87274 16:31 Jesus answered them, Do ye now believe? 16:32 Behold, the hour
87275 cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his
87276 own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the
87277 Father is with me.
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No.1139
>>1138That said the hour has come. It is about disciples.
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No.1140
| Rolled 3, 8, 4, 3, 4 = 22 |
How could a loving God not cause the discover of anaesthetics centuries sooner, LOL?
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No.1141
>>1140Line 38434
38434
38435 10:19 And Israel rebelled against the house of David unto this day.
38436
38437 11:1 And when Rehoboam was come to Jerusalem, he gathered of the house
38438 of Judah and Benjamin an hundred and fourscore thousand chosen men,
38439 which were warriors, to fight against Israel, that he might bring the
38440 kingdom again to Rehoboam.
38441
38442 11:2 But the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah the man of God, saying,
38443 11:3 Speak unto Rehoboam the son of Solomon, king of Judah, and to all
38444 Israel in Judah and Benjamin, saying, 11:4 Thus saith the LORD, Ye
38445 shall not go up, nor fight against your brethren: return every man to
38446 his house: for this thing is done of me. And they obeyed the words of
38447 the LORD, and returned from going against Jeroboam.
38448
38449 11:5 And Rehoboam dwelt in Jerusalem, and built cities for defence in
38450 Judah.
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No.1142
>>1141Dud?
Perhaps, God want peace with Stallman.
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No.1143
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
| Rolled 9, 6, 10, 9, 8 = 42 |
Man has after-life experience, says God is female.
http://netloid.com/news/catholic-priest-dies-for-48-minutes-comes-back-to-life-and-claims-god-is-femaleI doubt there is an afterlife. Maybe.
God does like soap operas and said He doesn't pay attention to young men. Perhaps, they are pathetically simple beings.
You like Oprah or Ellen, God?
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No.1144
>>1143Line 96098
96098 1:3 I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure
96099 conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my
96100 prayers night and day; 1:4 Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful
96101 of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy; 1:5 When I call to
96102 remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in
96103 thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that
96104 in thee also.
96105
96106 1:6 Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of
96107 God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.
96108
96109 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of
96110 love, and of a sound mind.
96111
96112 1:8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of
96113 me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel
96114 according to the power of God; 1:9 Who hath saved us, and called us
96115 with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his
96116 own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the
96117 world began, 1:10 But is now made manifest by the appearing of our
96118 Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life
96119 and immortality to light through the gospel: 1:11 Whereunto I am
96120 appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.
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No.1146
| Rolled 7, 6, 8, 5, 10 = 36 |
What do You think of Ticketmaster and Hotwheels, God?
How would You heal Hotwheels?
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No.1147
>>1146Line 76850
76850
76851 3:13 Your words have been stout against me, saith the LORD. Yet ye
76852 say, What have we spoken so much against thee? 3:14 Ye have said, It
76853 is vain to serve God: and what profit is it that we have kept his
76854 ordinance, and that we have walked mournfully before the LORD of
76855 hosts? 3:15 And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work
76856 wickedness are set up; yea, they that tempt God are even delivered.
76857
76858 3:16 Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and
76859 the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was
76860 written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought
76861 upon his name.
76862
76863 3:17 And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when
76864 I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own
76865 son that serveth him.
76866
76867 3:18 Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the
76868 wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.
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No.1152
| Rolled 6, 4, 5, 10, 6 = 31 |
>>1089
# include<stdio.h>// .IOCCC Fluid- #
# include <unistd.h> //2012 _Sim!_ #
# include<complex.h> //|||| ,____. IOCCC- #
# define h for( x=011; 2012/* #
# */-1>x ++;)b[ x]//-' winner #
# define f(p,e) for(/* #
# */p=a; e,p<r; p+=5)// #
# define z(e,i) f(p,p/* #
## */[i]=e)f(q,w=cabs (d=*p- *q)/2- 1)if(0 <(x=1- w))p[i]+=w*/// ##
double complex a [ 97687] ,*p,*q ,*r=a, w=0,d; int x,y;char b/* ##
## */[6856]="\x1b[2J" "\x1b" "[1;1H ", *o= b, *t; int main (){/** ##
## */for( ;0<(x= getc ( stdin) );)w=x >10?32< x?4[/* ##
## */*r++ =w,r]= w+1,*r =r[5]= x==35, r+=9:0 ,w-I/* ##
## */:(x= w+2);; for(;; puts(o ),o=b+ 4){z(p [1]*/* ##
## */9,2) w;z(G, 3)(d*( 3-p[2] -q[2]) *P+p[4 ]*V-/* ##
## */q[4] *V)/p[ 2];h=0 ;f(p,( t=b+10 +(x=*p *I)+/* ##
## */80*( y=*p/2 ),*p+=p [4]+=p [3]/10 *!p[1]) )x=0/* ##
## */ <=x &&x<79 &&0<=y&&y<23?1[1 [*t|=8 ,t]|=4,t+=80]=1/* ##
## */, *t |=2:0; h=" '`-.|//,\\" "|\\_" "\\/\x23\n"[x/** ##
## */%80- 9?x[b] :16];;usleep( 12321) ;}return 0;}/* ##
#### ####
###############################################################################
**###########################################################################*/
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No.1153
>>1152[spoiler]
gcc -Wall -W -pedantic -D_BSD_SOURCE -std=c99 -DG=1 -DP=4 source.c -o source -lm
source < source.c
[/spoiler]
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No.1154
>>1152Line 64506
64506
64507 31:18 I have surely heard Ephraim bemoaning himself thus; Thou hast
64508 chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the
64509 yoke: turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the LORD my
64510 God.
64511
64512 31:19 Surely after that I was turned, I repented; and after that I was
64513 instructed, I smote upon my thigh: I was ashamed, yea, even
64514 confounded, because I did bear the reproach of my youth.
64515
64516 31:20 Is Ephraim my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I
64517 spake against him, I do earnestly remember him still: therefore my
64518 bowels are troubled for him; I will surely have mercy upon him, saith
64519 the LORD.
64520
64521 31:21 Set thee up waymarks, make thee high heaps: set thine heart
64522 toward the highway, even the way which thou wentest: turn again, O
64523 virgin of Israel, turn again to these thy cities.
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No.1155
>>1154Closed Captioning: "High heaps" is water waves.
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No.1158
| Rolled 4, 7, 3, 4, 9 = 27 |
Am I the Anti-Christ?
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No.1159
Line 47349
47349
47350 28:5 Because they regard not the works of the LORD, nor the operation
47351 of his hands, he shall destroy them, and not build them up.
47352
47353 28:6 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my
47354 supplications.
47355
47356 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him,
47357 and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my
47358 song will I praise him.
47359
47360 28:8 The LORD is their strength, and he is the saving strength of his
47361 anointed.
47362
47363 28:9 Save thy people, and bless thine inheritance: feed them also, and
47364 lift them up for ever.
Interpret, Please?
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No.1160
| Rolled 4, 7, 7, 5, 2 = 25 |
For the Lord protects my home /
there is no one else to whom I roam.
That's my very short poem.
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No.1161
>>116035:24 Judge me, O LORD my God, according to thy righteousness; and let them not rejoice over me.
Damn, that's deep.
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No.1163
| Rolled 4, 3, 10, 3, 5 = 25 |
Thanks for skinny pigs, God. I think they look funny.
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No.1164
>>11631:20 And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published
throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give
to their husbands honour, both to great and small.
1:21 And the saying pleased the king and the princes; and the king did
according to the word of Memucan: 1:22 For he sent letters into all
the king's provinces, into every province according to the writing
thereof, and to every people after their language, that every man
should bear rule in his own house, and that it should be published
according to the language of every people.
2:1 After these things, when the wrath of king Ahasuerus was appeased,
he remembered Vashti, and what she had done, and what was decreed
against her.
2:2 Then said the king's servants that ministered unto him, Let there
be fair young virgins sought for the king: 2:3 And let the king
appoint officers in all the provinces of his kingdom, that they may
gather together all the fair young virgins unto Shushan the palace, to
the house of the women, unto the custody of Hege the king's
chamberlain, keeper of the women; and let their things for
purification be given them: 2:4 And let the maiden which pleaseth the
king be queen instead of Vashti.
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No.1170
>>1168
Does a hand maid give hand-jobs?
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No.1173
>>1172
You gotta do an offering. God likes soap operas.
Watch...
God, do You like Prince Harry? He's funny, no fucks given. Or, do You like Prince William.
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No.1174
| Rolled 10, 6, 7, 9, 9 = 41 |
>>117347439 deliver me in thy righteousness.
47440
47441 31:2 Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong
47442 rock, for an house of defence to save me.
47443
47444 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's
47445 sake lead me, and guide me.
47446
47447 31:4 Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for
47448 thou art my strength.
47449
47450 31:5 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD
47451 God of truth.
47452
47453 31:6 I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the
47454 LORD.
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No.1175
>>1174That's about castles.
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No.1181
| Rolled 3, 8, 2, 3, 1 = 17 |
Here is a haiku.
What is god thinking
When I mention RMS
Creator of GNU
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No.1183
>>1181>>118138231 places are holy, whereunto the ark of the LORD hath come.
ok
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No.1192
| Rolled 1, 4, 7, 7, 3 = 22 |
I give this funny webm.
What does God think about waiting in lines for airport security?
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No.1193
>>1192
14773
14774 25:14 Now the name of the Israelite that was slain, even that was
14775 slain with the Midianitish woman, was Zimri, the son of Salu, a prince
14776 of a chief house among the Simeonites.
14777
14778 25:15 And the name of the Midianitish woman that was slain was Cozbi,
14779 the daughter of Zur; he was head over a people, and of a chief house
14780 in Midian.
14781
14782 25:16 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 25:17 Vex the Midianites,
14783 and smite them: 25:18 For they vex you with their wiles, wherewith
14784 they have beguiled you in the matter of Peor, and in the matter of
14785 Cozbi, the daughter of a prince of Midian, their sister, which was
14786 slain in the day of the plague for Peor's sake.
14787
14788 26:1 And it came to pass after the plague, that the LORD spake unto
14789 Moses and unto Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest, saying, 26:2 Take
14790 the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, from twenty
14791 years old and upward, throughout their fathers' house, all that are
14792 able to go to war in Israel.
14793
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No.1194
>>1193Gonna need a closed captioning on this one Terry. My interpretation skills are lacking.
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No.1199
>>1194Bill Cosby's jello commercial face.
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No.1201
>>1199There you have it, folks.
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