/sw/ - Star Wars

Its a lot worse and duller than you all might think.

https://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2019/02/building-batuu-new-details-released-about-star-wars-galaxys-edge/

>>33677

Not soy, but fruity soy. You get to send gay soy down your gullet while you pose for a selfie in the shitty star wars park, isn't that great? This is going to be a goddamn tire fire and I hope it kills Star Wars for good in Disney's eyes. Whatever gets them to stop raping its corpse.

>>33688

>You get to send gay soy down your gullet while you pose for a selfie in the shitty star wars park, isn't that great?

I can just envision the gaping mouths, video game tshirts, sloppy beards, pale skin, and corpulence.

>>33677

>>33688

>>33689

It gets even worse. Disney employees got to play at the park before release and its mediocre as fuck.

https://old.reddit.com/r/saltierthancrait/comments/btimot/i_went_to_galaxys_edge_today_and_i_wasnt_surprised/?

>>33705

Do they think those plush dolls will actually sell? I’m no expert on stuffed toys or anything, but even I can tell they look like something you’ll get from Walmart for $5 bucks

>>33658

So here are the things to do in the park, based on what I've heard so far:

>buy "exotic" food

>buy "exotic" food

>buy dyed milk

>buy popcorn

>wait three hours in a line

>sit in the Falcon's cockpit for five minutes

>buy miscellaneous souvenirs

>buy a toy lightsaber

>buy a toy droid

>buy merch for a Disney faction nobody cares about

>buy merch for another Disney faction nobody cares about

>buy clothes

>buy dollar store tier plushies

>buy leftover Toys R Us toys

>buy "accessories"

How much exactly are they charging to enter this store?

>>33677

>the milk served at the park is not real milk but a fruity soy-based beverage

Source? That article says nothing about soy.

>>33715

>buy dyed fruity soy milk

FTFY

Seriously why not just have actual milk or milkshakes? As for waiting 3 hours in line, a friend told me that's a light estimate with it being possible that the waiting lines will be more than 5 hours for the first few weeks or months, to the point where Disney has set up a "bathroom pass" system so they can go take a shit then come back to their spot, even though this sounds like an exploitable method to jump to the absolute front of the line or cause a lot of fighting. And yes, the park is just an oversized store and supposedly its expensive as shit and Disney will be raising their prices as a way to cover the expenses of this park.

>>33715

https://www.ocregister.com/2019/03/16/blue-milk-disneylands-galaxys-edge-will-offer-3-varieties-of-the-signature-star-wars-drink/

>The result was a non-dairy, plant-based milk that will be similar to a soy, almond, coconut or rice milk.

>“It’s not actually milk,” said Scott Trowbridge, the Walt Disney Imagineering creative executive overseeing the Galaxy’s Edge project.

https://vegandisneyfood.com/whats-vegan-at-disneys-star-wars-galaxys-edge/

>Both of these options are made from plant milk. I sampled a rendition of the green milk at the last “Star Wars: Galactic Nights” event and wasn’t a huge fan. At that event, it was a non-dairy mix of soy milk, coconut milk, passion fruit and mint served over ice and it was a bit too weird for my liking.

Even vegans don't like it.

>>33720

>soy milk, coconut milk, passion fruit and mint

That sounds positively rancid, and I'm someone who's usually up for trying out strange and new things.

>>33720

>The Disneyland website says the Blue Milk and Green Milk sold at the Milk Stand will cost less than $15

Oh, if it's that cheap then it makes it all fine, doesn't it?

>>33720

Of all the countless things they could’ve done to make blue milk they don’t even use REAL MILK?!

I actually don't care so much about the lack of rides - I think an "immersive" park for Star Wars, one that focused on the experience, could be really cool. From what I'm seeing they haven't even delivered on that. They chose a completely unknown locale from an unknown planet. Why they didn't chose something more recognizable like Mos Eisley, Cloud City, or Coruscant, I'll never understand. Who the fuck wants to go to "Batuu"? There are so many other options here. Just a huge fucking waste of potential.

>>33715

I wish any of this surprised me but it really doesn't. This sounds almost exactly like the Harry Potter World experience, although HPW has two rides instead of just the one. It's more-or-less what I expected from this tbh. The worst part is it'll probably print money regardless of how much it sucks.

>>33719

>Seriously why not just have actual milk or milkshakes?

I could see serving milk in a sit-down restaurant but, having lived in the Orlando area for close to a decade, I can tell you that the last thing I'd want to do is wander around outside in the punishing heat with a glass of milk. Milkshakes would probably work better.

>>33732

>Milkshakes would probably work better.

That goes without fucking saying. Even these crappy soy drinks are frozen.

>>33727

>>33726

>>33734

There is nothing cheap in an amusement park, especially a Disney park. They essentially have every park visitor stuck in there as a captive audience and they charge ridiculous prices for food and drink.

>>33658

Look at them drinking this garbage.

>>33741

I thought the park wasn't supposed to be open yet except for rich people and Disney employees. That shit looks fucking full. Imagine how horrid and loud it will be when it actually opens. Also don't be surprised, tourists will stomach anything, not to mention we don't get to see anyone comment on what they think of the milk.

But wow this cantina looks boring as shit. And where are the fucking aliens?

>>33748

>the only smile is on Slob KIker's face

Ford looks like he wants to kill himself off in real life.

Most of what I'm seeing doesn't give me a Star Wars feel. It's like a lot of the pieces and iconography are there but it fails to really come together. The marketplace in particular just looks like a sci-fi Marrakech. Like a lot of other DisneyWars content it seems more like a location from Dr Who than Star Wars.

I would say the only exception to this is the Droid Works, which does feel very "Star-Warsy" to me and also seems like a great concept.

>>33742

> That shit looks fucking full

I would guess that the population you see in any of these promotional videos is probably five percent of what you would actually expect to see on any given day. It's pretty clear why they're going to be enforcing a 4-hour limit - this place is going to get really claustrophobic.

>Pay 725.65 Israeli shekels (200USD) to build a shitty plastic laser sword while an autist in a crappy costume spergs out at you about the most basic and unnuanced pieces of Star Wars lore

>>33759

The aliens are all the illegal migrants that Disney hires to empty the trash cans in the park

>>33755

>There's a new jedi Does anyone know her name?

MARA JADE!

bets that'll get you thrawn out?

By god if I'm paying that price I want metal at least and preferably a nicely curved hilt like Dooku's or Ventress'

Those promo actors have really nailed the creepy stock photography vibe.

>>33755

People are paying $200 for this. At least get a guy with some charisma to run the show.

They even fucked up a Disney themed Star Wars theme park. How the hell is that possible? Theme parks should be in their wheelhouse. Trying to force your sequel trilogy that nobody likes even on a theme park is about as dumb a decision I'd expect from the current people running Star Wars. At least let something nostalgic remain since it seems you're planning to remove jedi, sith and lightsabers in the future movies.

>>33766

Fans say:

"I'd like more stories focused on non-jedi characters, to shake things up."

Disney execs hear:

"DELETE JEDI, SITH, THE FORCE, LIGHTSABERS, FROM THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE ASAP! YASS QUEEN SLAY!"

>>33758

They're not even using the original Falcon. That's the one from Solo.

>>33769

You sure? Doesn't look like it has that in-fill bit between the prongs or the paint-job.

>>33773

My bad. Still shit tho

>>33777

Would you be happy seeing what your life's work has become under Disney?

>>33658

>Dok-Ondar’s Den of Antiquities – For those in the know, Dok-Ondar is the Ithorian you seek for selling and buying rare and uniquely-valued items from across the galaxy and spanning all eras.

An Ithorian character in one of the shops? How's the park making that work?

>>33782

>>33783

Credit where it's due, that is not a bad layout.

>>33784

They're making a third ride called Rise of the Resistance. How the fuck does that fit in anywhere?

>>33788

Is it actually going to be a full sized ride or just a mini-attraction? They might be able to squeeze something in on the right side. Maybe there’s more land that can be developed outside the picture?

>>33777

Even Billy Dee Williams's smile looks fake as fuck. Look at him, it looks like someone it's putting a gun in his head and forcing him for the photo.

>>33789

They said its a full ride to parallel with the First Order one.

>>33785

Its actually really small. Almost cramped. There's gonna have to be a waiting period just to get inside the store.

>>33777

I imagine George spent most of his time thinking "I could have done so much better than this." Then again he walked off with a four billion dollar check from Disney so it's not like he has anything to complain about - it's the grave he chose.

The guy I really feel bad for here is Mark.

>SW park

>can't drink that blue/green milk from a space sloth tit

What a piece of shit that is .

>>33755

For maybe 80 dollars more I could get a a very nice aluminum-hilted saber from Ultrasabers, with a blade strong enough to fence with.

>>33801

I thought that at the price they are charging that it would be some sort of metal construction

>>33802

I've read in a few places that the Disney sabers are metal construction. Some have said they weigh about the same as a maglight.

But like >>33801 said I'd rather pay one of the other saber retailers and get something that looks more unique.

>>33803

I agree with that but in the video of the saber building it looks like they are just using a "blade builders kit" and it looked plastic mostly

>>33777

to be fair george has rarely ever smiled in a picture, and hamill has taken a similar stance because both of them realized just how much has changed. billy is happy to have work and ford is a jew, simple as that.

>>33797

he got two billion in cash and two billion in disney stock, which i imagine has gone down in value a bit. but he also has over 20 billion in the merch sales from his time as ceo, which disney will never reach the likes of, and star wars will continue to be a burning hole for them as they keep doing shit like this park and charging exorbitant prices in a pathetic attempt to recover costs.

>>33807

>disney stock, which i imagine has gone down in value a bit

Their stocks at the time of the purchase in 2012 were worth around $50. Today it's $132.

>>33807

>he got two billion in cash and two billion in disney stock, which i imagine has gone down in value a bit. but he also has over 20 billion in the merch sales from his time as ceo

Sometimes I really wonder why he sold it off. It seems like with all of the expanded universe stuff the franchise could have pretty much run itself and just kept printing money for him. If he really had that much money in his pocket at the time of the sale then I'm even more confused - doesn't seem worth it to lose all creative control over your franchise to a soulless megacorp.

>>33811

He probbaly thought that the liability he'd been saddled with wasn't worth it any more, let someone else take the flak for a change.

Let's face facts too, if that was his motivation then Disney went above and beyond the call of duty for shitty decisions and pissing off fans.

>>33812

Hell you even have normalfags talking fondly of the prequels now thanks to Disney. Maybe this was George's plan all along. Get money, put Kennedy in the head seat, watch Disney sink shit to the ground, now everyone hates them and Rian more than him, now he's rich. It all works out. Also fuck, the food here tastes like shit.

>>33862

Yes, but then they remembered she was ugly so they replaced her with a younger black girl with blue hair.

>4:25

They paired a fucking rib with a blueberry muffin in a jar for fucks sake.

>>33880

>it tastes like a melted popsicle

>it tastes like a partly-melted popsicle

>it tastes like cheap sugar-cereal

>it tastes like a candle

>it tastes like cheap wine and food coloring

>it's an ordinary sausage, but really tiny

Such resounding praise. I'm sure it's all worth the hundreds they would have paid for all that if they hadn't gotten it free.

>>33885

There's no doubt, it's going to be cheap heavily processed cuts loaded with preservatives.

>>33880

>>(((Sydney Kramer)))

CIS bankers will get theirs someday!

>>33880

>>33889

>it's the cantina music

How long will it take the bartenders to kill themselves after having to listen to that on loop eight hours a day?

>>33894

>embargo on OT stuff

????

>>33880

The bubbling beverage looks really cool though!

>>33880

>wow this overpriced garbage tastes like sugar and not much else, very refreshing!

Every year that passes I hate thots more and more

>>33880

>they wanted to make food that seemed like it belonged in Star Wars

>no nerf steak or ribs

>>33896

Too bad it tastes like piss with sugar on top. They kept showing off all these pro-chefs during trailers supposedly going into all this hard work to make the dishes yet it all tastes like crap or generic foods you can get anywhere else in the park.

>>33895

When was the last time you saw an EU alien in Disney Wars, apart from a Mon Calamari?

>>33905

Meant to say OT alien.

>>33912

There's not even a hint of a Duros and they're supposedly one of the most prevalent species next to humans.

>>33905

They do have an Ithorian in the park.

Out of the Disney movies I've only watched TLJ and part of TFA so I may be wrong, but I thought I heard RO had some OT aliens.

>>33915

RO had a few OT aliens and two EU ones. Solo only had Twi'leks, wookies, 2 EU aliens that look nothing like their counterparts, along with some other shit I can't remember. TFA had only one OT alien who looked nothing like the original, an ithorian knockoff and a bunch of shittier knockoffs. TLJ only had Chewbacca and Ackbar, plus one OT alien and one EU alien neither of which looked like the originals either

>>33778

Sounds nice

>Echo base theme

>Entrance is busting through the blockade with Dash

>Walk through a trench with the sound of speeders and walkers doing battle

>Use projectors to make it look like Rebels are running down corridors, gearing up near by.

>Mission briefing on what to so in the command centre.

>Split Echo base into different areas to explore

>Exit is to bust through the blockade

Instead we get (judging by the videos I fast forwarded through):

>Lackluster plastic droid assembly

>Become an apprentice to Rey by the sounds of the lightsabre assembly

The cringy shilling is complete there. God I hate those two fake fucks, they're really representative of the soy disney ass lickers subhumans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrGJsMxoVUA

>>33958

>The Star Wars channel

Fuck. It feels like an eternity ago when it wasn't just generic hipster channel #4000

>>33979

Those people would have made fun of me at the end of the 90's for being a "star wars nerd".

>>33905

Better question, when was the last time you saw any evidence of this being a Star Wars film at all and not just a shitty sequal to The Black Hole?

HOW DO YOU HAVE A DISNEY STARWARS LAND WITHOUT FUCKING VADER GODDAMN THEY CAN'T BE THIS STUPID

>>34024

Not just Vader. Only familiar guy at the park is Chewbacca. That's it. Not even 3PO or R2.

>>34026

Or any xenos for that matter

>>34024

It's a Disney Wars park, of course none of the iconic characters are present. It's all about the Disney movies.

It's "no fun allowed". Visitors can't wear a jedi, sith or trooper uniform, it's also forbidden to play with a lightsaber or a blaster.

>>34028

>Visitors can't wear a jedi, sith or trooper uniform

I'm not a fan of this either but this does extend to all costumes across all Disney parks, so at least they're consistent. The exception is on Halloween when you're allowed to wear costumes if you want.

It's shitty though - the whole point of wanting a Star Wars park like this is to immerse yourself in the universe, and forcing all attendees to remain in modern civilian clothing breaks that.

> it's also forbidden to play with a lightsaber or a blaster.

On one hand this is fucking dumb because like >>34031 said, they're selling these things to kids while also telling them not to use them. On the other hand they would have the shit sued out of them by the parents of the first child to lose their eye in a lightsaber fight gone wrong.

>>33765

Disney have failed multiple times in that regard, there's a youtube series called defunctland which often talks about Disney fucking up theme parks.

>>33811

Didn't he say he was sick of being constantly insulted and had no motivation any more? Why stay in charge of something you know can only end badly for you? Now he's free to do whatever and not give a fuck.

>>34026

They will likely have them walking round like they do other characters.

>>34032

You also have the problem of assholes dressing as Jewdi and gaining authority over the general public. If something happens and I need a member of staff immediately I can go to any retard playing dress up. I don't have to shove through to a shop or ask 50 random neckbeards cosplaying in their bath robes.

If it couldn't get anymore stupid, they have banned the use of the word "younglings" in Galaxy's Edge because parents associate it with child killing from the prequel movie. http://archive.is/nDXKj

I'm not sure I can fault them for the costume ban, as other anons have pointed out there's probably safety reasons to consider and it's standard policy. Same with the guns or lightsabers, they probably don't want to get sued if some idiot kid whacks someone over the head.

Now, this though >>34038 has to be the funniest thing that has come out of this disaster so far.

>>34035

>Didn't he say he was sick of being constantly insulted and had no motivation any more?

I've heard all sorts of rumors to this effect, and it certainly wouldn't surprise me, but I've never seen it myself so I don't know for sure. I certainly couldn't blame the guy for becoming demoralized after being shit on by the fanbase for so long, but passing the franchise on to people you trust seems like a much more appealing prospect than selling it off to the world's largest and most soulless media corporation.

>>34038

That's fucking hilarious

>>33811

>Sometimes I really wonder why he sold it off.

I can't remember where I read that but he didn't want to make big movies anymore and that could've put the company at risk financially. He said one time that he would feel uncomfortable having to lay off people.

>>34055

So a shebooon wearing a feminist weave is what will entice star wars fans not Luke Skywalker…. hate to break it to them but there are several thousands sheboons with blue colored weaves in any urban area.

>>34055

She actually goes up to people at the park expecting them to know who she is. Like seriously, what did Disney expect with this?

But trooper look at the original comments posted by normal people

>The Land of Batuu is looking to bring guests beyond the mysterious beyond. On a recent visit to Walt Disney World Resort in January, I caught a glimpse of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge and the Land it will be a part of. This whole new interactive experience might just have me (a Star Wars Purist) ready to leave this planet and explore the place called Batuu and all it has to offer in an immersive experience. I’m excited to explore new adventures beyond my wildest memories. Ellen,NJ

That makes an OT purist like me have hope for not only Disney’s™ great park expansion experience but also the past and future releases in Disney’s™ line of Star Wars™ movies which adhere to the spirit of the OT. All the great stalls and attractions Disney™ Parks™ have painstakingly crafted to create that authentic Star Wars™ feel will be worth a visit by themselves but they also have terrific rides such as the Millennium Falcon™ ride. I’m super pumped! Can’t wait to see you all there, I’ll be at the green milk stand when you show up!

-Sincerely Micheal (an averaged fan!)

>>34055

What the fuck is this? Who is this?!

>>34084

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Delilah_S._Dawson

>>34079

Makes sense, all the characters that anybody actually likes will be reserved for parades and stuff.

>>34055

>Women menstruated on a long journey in Phasma

what the fuck

>>34102

Why would you put that in a sci-fi novel? I still can't wrap my mind around how insane these people are.

>>34102

All in the name of “realism”

>>34105

Other than being disgusting it is so mundane like writing about peeing and grabbing the mail where is the fantasy?

>>34104

>>34107

It makes me think of Don Quixote, and how he took the fact that stories never talk about knights errant packing a change of clothes to mean that they literally only ever wore one shirt.

>>34121

It's not even a nice fountain pen, and I'll wager it doesn't use an international standard ink refill either so when it's done it's done.

>>34121

It's all overpriced plastic garbage

>>34124

I know Disney was retarded when designing their high galactic but it shouldn't have been that hard to figure out it was a "code" cylinder. What would "cove" cylinder even mean to him? That its a pen found in coves?

>>34121

Christ, I could eat like a king several times over for that much money.

>>34126

I think it's even worse considering that they could easily recognize the "D" character in the word "Cylinder", but the "D" in "Code" was too difficult for them

Never mind the prices, the fact that it's all Disney Wars is the icing on the cake. Imagine being an unassuming Star Wars fan and going to the park only to find out it's literally all Disney Wars bullshit. That's downright criminal.

>>34121

The toys and pins and cups seem par for the course and are about what I expected. Everything else? Holy shit that is expensive. 6,000 dollars for something cosplayers can do better for a sixth of the price?

>>34121

>three fucking hundred dollars for a Jedi robe, tunic and belt

>pants not included

>"Build your own astromech droid!"

>personality chip sold separately

>decals sold separately

>front panels sold separately

>arm tools sold separately

>when employees in First Order costumes walk by, the lightsaber-building shop ceases sales and hides its goods to serve as "living storytelling"

Yeah, it's not enough that it's a two fucking hour line to make a reservation to at some later time enter the building and listen to a fag talk about Rey, you've also got to randomly close the shop every once it a while just to make it that much less efficient. You also don't actually get to choose from all the lightsaber parts. You pick one of four sets, which only has about twice as many parts as you can use, and then build from those. There is no mixing and matching between part sets.

>>34136

>literally all Disney Wars bullshit

Not quite true. The Resistance shop has some merch of young Leia, for reasons that are probably obvious. It also has pins and patches for the battles of Endor, Yavin, and Hoth, despite them being labelled as "Resistance missions" because the fuckers want to rewrite history.

"Dok Ondar's Den of Antiquities", the one with the Ithorian, does have real SW goods, both OT and PT.

Though if you buy legacy lightsabers there, like Mace Windu's, the belt clip and blade(!) are both sold separately. Yes, it's not enough that they change $110 for the handle, they've got to jew you for another $50 to put a blade on it and $15 to hook it on your belt. That shop also sells replacement kyber crystals for the build-your-own blades; for those wondering where the yellow crystals were, turns out that's an extra $12.99 over the $215 you already paid.

>>34140

Well, I won't lie, most of the stuff you can buy in Dak-Ongkar or whatever the fuck he's called-store seems like pretty solid merchandise apart from the outlandish prices.

Overall I think the most frustrating thing for me is that a Star Wars theme park is great in concept, but this semitic travesty certainly isn't. I probably would be more forgiving if it wasn't tainted by the mark of the mouse.

>when employees in First Order costumes walk by, the lightsaber-building shop ceases sales and hides its goods to serve as "living storytelling"

That's stupid. Either don't bother the visitors with that pseudo-roleplaying bullshit or go all-in and make it like a LARP.

>>34140

>when employees in First Order costumes walk by, the lightsaber-building shop ceases sales and hides its goods to serve as "living storytelling"

What? Why? Hunting down and persecuting everyone who had Jedi stuff was the Empire's thing, hell it was mostly an EU Empire thing! Since when did the First Order get characterized enough to have a thing against lightsaber (((merchants)))?

>>34140

>Not quite true. The Resistance shop has some merch of young Leia, for reasons that are probably obvious. It also has pins and patches for the battles of Endor, Yavin, and Hoth, despite them being labelled as "Resistance missions" because the fuckers want to rewrite history.

Too bad the Leia and Chewie merch are just shitty shirts and stuff telling you to "RESIST".

>>34140

>Dok Ondar's Den of Antiquities

From what I've seen, that's the only decent store and the only thing in the park that remotely feels like Star Wars if not for the references to Solo and Filoni. It even has references to EU stuff on its second floor and stairs, but in the end its just another shop. This park is nothing but shops. Its like it was designed by marketing rather than imagineering.

>>34141

>That's stupid. Either don't bother the visitors with that pseudo-roleplaying bullshit or go all-in and make it like a LARP.

Their obsession with this pseudo-rp shit is annoying. Especially when visitors can't play along or even wear the shitty costumes sold at the park.

>>33748

Christ, they all look miserable, even Iger looks like he's forcing his smile

>>34157

Disney can't even do stylized aurebesh right. And the Bs on BB-8 look like 9s.

>>34158

Why do they even bother? The vast majority of normalfag fans probably don’t even recognize the Aurebesh. It’s only in a few quick scenes (unless Disney Wars uses it more than the O and PT did) and most people probably didn’t even realize there’s a separate writing system for Galactic basic, or that it’s not even called English.

>>34172

>all over 20 to 70 dollars

People actually for this junk? I like how Disney tries to pass off this cheap shit as rare collectibles designed to look like in-universe goods when really its just them capitalizing on max profit through the cheapest products possible.

>>34175

>>34172

This is a fucking disgrace. Are they actually “proud” of this garbage?! The Chinese knockoffs will probably be better.

>>34172

>>34175

Women designed these, thots have no appreciation for toys and just want knick-nacks

>>34187

It's post-ironic toys, they're meant to feel shitty, almost "hand-made", like "real" toys you would have IN the SW universe, like child Jyn Erso and her stormtrooper.

>>34194

>Incredibly advanced technology

>toys look like they did 100 years ago irl

Haven’t watched rouge one but is there any reason she has some wooden doll? Even Luke’s model speeder looked like it was plastic and painted well and he was literally a dirt farmer.

>>34194

Why the fuck would people in the Star Wars universe have wooden stormtrooper dolls? If one was an Imperial child, they'd have higher quality goods, if they were a rebel child, they wouldn't want a fucking stormtrooper doll

(((Toydarian))) toymaker. Obviously they're going to be overpriced garbage.

>>34104

>I still can't wrap my mind around how insane these people are.

It gets worse. In the new EU, it's apparently not uncommon for Jedi Masters to have sex with their Padawans.

>>34232

>Jedi is transmitted through child abuse.

Anakin being "too old" takes on a whole new meaning now.

>>34235

This is crap. Jedi restrain from sex not due "durr hurr sex outside marriage is imoral" but because " casual sex is lust. Lust is a base emotion, a strong one". Also it's a gateway to romantic feelings, attachments and all that.

Attachment is forbidden.

>>34239

There's also some sources that suggest it's also to prevent siring children to avoid bloodlines strong in the force.

>>34235

Somehow the prose bugs me more than the subject matter. It's like that "droid, please" line from TFA.

>>34250

The site's been having a problem with files for the last few minutes. Re-up that webm a while later.

>>34235

Considering the reaction, this book might deserve its own thread.

>>34235

>yeah we don't get attached to our lovers so it's fine with the code!

>please ignore how this means we are attached to physical pleasure itself!

>>33705

They all look like shit but the nigger looks the most out of place.

>>34235

This looks like the shit you would find in an erotic fanfic. I swear whenever I think Star Wars can't get any worse they just have to prove me wrong.

>>34387

They even fucked that up because plenty of brapposters fucking hate that trash.

>>34396

people are also stealing shit and selling it on ebay and shit

>>34396

Yep. People say its actually improved now that its empty.

>>34398

90 dollars for a free coaster.

>>34396

> all the stores except the cantina and pet store are empty.

FTFY

https://www.slashfilm.com/why-is-galaxys-edge-so-empty/

>>34405

>all the stores are sold out

>the park is empty a week after it opens to the public

Did they understock THAT badly or are they simply pulling some bullshit? The park being empty I can see for a combination of reasons but out of stock? There is no way people were buying so much of that garbage

>>34407

Understocked apparently. Main items that ran out are some cat toys, sith holocrons and sith lightsaber crystals, also droid personality chips. Despite there still being a shit ton of droid parts. I honestly thought they were gonna have a whole bunch of merch prepared considering how much they bragged about high attendance before.

Do they even sell the normal action figures in the shops? Considering they sell the diecast vehicles and some shitty army men looking battlepacks they surely wouldn't be that stupid not to right?

>>34409

No. Closest thing to action figures they got are some 2 inch and poorly painted figurines of Rey and friends.

https://wdwnt.com/2019/06/photos-every-merchandise-item-from-the-resistance-supply-at-star-wars-galaxys-edge/

>>34396

>Star Wars land so bad that Disneyland is empty compared to normal

<Disneyland is relatively empty for the summer

That's how you know they fucked up big time.

>>33655

maybe Disney should give their shills free tickets. Would be pretty embarrassing if nobody shows up…

>>34405

Here's the archive link to that article: https://archive.is/juUkT

>Why is Galaxy’s Edge and Disneyland not as busy as expected? No one can seem to nail down the answer to the question.

I can't think of any reason other than "Disney has done its hardest to kill the IP." The concept of a Disney park being this empty in the middle of summer is almost unthinkable. Shortages of merchandise is not a sufficient explanation.

>>34419

The fact that the entire park attendance is down is due to the blocking of annual passholders at lower tiers, since there are a lot of people in the area who do that. It's not like opening Galaxy's Edge reduces incentive to attend because it isn't replacing anything. Ultimately it's a combo of the disinterest in Disney Wars and their own logistical decisions which stem from their hubris.

I'm sure Lucasfilm is so far up their own asshole.they are blaming everything except how badly they've shit on white males, but I can't help but think it's because of how badly they've shit on white males.

>>34423

it's hard to overstate just how badly they fucked up with these four movies. of course disney will never admit the absurd amounts they wasted on the franchise, but you can bet they still have yet to properly turn a profit. there's a reason hasbro stopped posting merchandise profits for sw, there isn't anything to post.

>>34423

Meanwhile the Harry Potter park is blowing them out of the water.

>>34429

>getting avada kedavra'd by Harry Potter

>>34430

>>34430

Yep. Galaxy's Edge's lines are at 30 minutes meanwhile Harry Potter's are at 10 hours.

>>34432

>10 hour lines for a ride

Jesus, the park isn't open 24/7 is it? Are there people who stand in line all day for one ride and then when they get off it it's time to leave because the park is closing?

>>34433

Supposedly there's some kind of virtual queue to form a virtual line so waiters don't have to spend all day suffering and the park can keep track of who's next.

>>34432

>10 hour line for a ride

Is it just me, or does that sound like just another one of the ways we live in a shitty scifi dystopia? Queues for trivial things being orders of magnitude longer than they deserve seems like the kind of thing that ought to crop up in a cyberpunk setting or something.

>>34432

So, what your saying is that a space wizard got defeated by an actual wizard. Well, they both equal in having terrible stories in the present day in their respective medium. Only one still has the original creator ruining her own creation.

Some guy on kiwifarms made a pretty detailed account of his trip to Galaxy's Edge and just how crummy it was. I can post his accounts if anyone is interested.

>>34443

Do it

>>34443

post

>>34444

quads demand it

>>34441

>implying george was ruining star wars

we can debate the quality of clone wars but movie-wise it was still tight

>>34445

We can also debate the degree to which George was even involved with TCW post-Season 1.

>>34465

>The only good actors are the First Order ones.

Looks like Disney still can't make their "Resistance" look cool.

>>34475

Thanks, trooper. You have a link to the original Kiwifarms thread?

>>34473

>>34463

>>34465

>>34466

>>34467

>>34475

Thanks for the info man. Whoever had to suffer through this shit deserves a metal.

>>34471

>build a realistic wampa

>put it where no one can reach it or take pictures with it

Why would anyone fucking do this?

I'm looking to buy a large chunk of land. If the purchase goes ahead I'll make a proper Star Wars park for real fans, with sabacc and Twi'lek strippers. Considering the options it'll likely be a spaceport setting on Tattooine. I've played enough rollercoaster tycoon to run a successful theme park.

>>34479

Disney will shut you down the literal second they catch wind of it

>>34479

Its a very noble endeavor, but Disney will never allow it my dude. Unless you live somewhere like Russia.

>>34480

They'll try. I already have a fiendishly clever plan to counter their efforts. Disney can't stop me, not even Lucas himself could dissuade me. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen it. My lowest effort attempt would beat disney's park. Trust me, as long as I can get my funds together, this'll happen.

>>34483

If you say so. Good luck with that

>>34477

Yes.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/

Page 500 is where our friend tells his story.

>>34479

You'll be sued faster than someone making 3d prints of GW models

>>34488

Those prices are insane. Even by Disney standards the drinks are expensive and they don't even sound good.

>>34488

>unironically linking to KF

Archive that shit, nigger.

>>34508

Got you covered.

http://archive.is/lHgcI

Still judging from what I'm reading there that thread seems a lot less gay than the rest of the gayass forums.

>>34510

It goes on for the rest of the thread, not just that one page.

>>34529

500-542 all has posts from the person posting about the park, not just 500.

>>34483

You're going to make it in Saudi Arabia, aren't you?

>>34488

Jesus, that's a lot of words, and what I've read seems to confirm my suspicions. Good concept for a Star Wars-themed Park, but terrible execution, and absolutely muddled by greed and questionable decisions.

>>34479

>>34483

May the force be with you. (Give me free tickets)

Apparently a big nigger fight broke out in Disneyland. Looks like the number of visitors will just keep dropping after that.

>>34470

Can you post more?

So how are Disney shills taking the fact that the theme park is bombing?

>>34586

Terribly. Dork Side of the Force is going into full on denial mode.

>>34483

How are you gonna counter them? Are you sure that Disney won't be trying to sabotage you in every dirty way they can? Also would you allow cosplay? I want to dress up as an ARC-trooper.

since celebration and the trailer i feel so apathetish to the series… we need to revivify our plans to save this franchise, guys.

i just feel so worn out from how utterly shit literally all SW content since TLJ has been… maybe I need to go watch the OT or something to get me fightin again.

>>33655

>>34594

Without revealing my hand, I guarantee I have figured out a way to avoid legal hassles from disney. They may try underhanded tactics but they won't work either. It is just a matter of gathering the rest of my startup capital and I'll begin work on the project. As for cosplay, if guests want to, they can. The climate is likely to be hot though, so bear it in mind. More can be revealed once solid progress has been made, maybe moving it to the fan projects thread. Until then I have to work out further details.

>>34608

If you say so man. I just hope you're right, but frankly only way I see this working long term is if you're one of those rich middle eastern oil tycoons or something. Still I wish you luck.

>>34625

>Rise of the Resistance

>Rey

Wasn't the Resistance already well established by the time Rey met them? This would be like Luke being present for a "Rise of the Rebellion". The factions rose without them.

Funny thing is that in the leak above >>34488

it says Rey isn't even in the ride. She only appears briefly as a hologram. It even has pictures from inside the ride. Whoever is posting it must be working for Disney or something.

>>34625

>make an entire section of a park

>open it half a year before the main attraction is open to the public

That is ages in the eyes of a public who already is disappointed in nu-Wars, and I doubt there are enough soyboys to keep shilling for that long. Most of them already went before the public opening via reservations anyways.

>>34479

>I've played enough rollercoaster tycoon to run a successful theme park.

i like where this is going and i fully support your decisions anon. godspeed.

>Disneyland's 64th anniversary

<park is still empty as fuck

I feel like we got vindicated this year.

>>34625

Wait, Disney is going to let me hang out with a fucking ghost now? Have they finally mastered summoning the dead and lashing them to this train wreck as well as the living?

>>34479

>I've played enough rollercoaster tycoon to run a successful theme park.

Well, Skyking said the same thing and he managed to pull off a loop or two before he crashed, so you may have a chance.

>>34792

Lion King bombs?

>>34798

What the fuck?

>no good Sith holocron for sale on internet

>only good one is from Disney and it's probably plastic

>cant buy them online, only at their tourist trap

fucking end me. all I want is a god damn sith holocron

and crystal. all the etsy ones look nothing like lore ones

and the Crystal's are all polished sea glass

FUCKING END ME

>>34799

>>34798

Get a real job? Working at Disney land is like moving to Silicon valley to be a games tester. There is always, and I mean always another idiot willing to push themselves til they break when you break. Don't be a faggot and fall for these kind of traps, just don't.

You can argue about fair wages all you want but that is a fair wage. If I'm willing to pay 5 bucks for the job, you're willing to take 5 bucks for it then it's a fair wage. Unless you break the illusion of Disney's marketing you're not going to change that.

This isn't the first time a major Disney attraction had failed and it won't be the last. They will repurpose it in 12 minutes,

>>34801

>MUH BING BING WAHOOS

How about you just don't give money to these people?

>>34789

He crashed on purpose, and that barrel roll was in a plane not designed for such maneuvers. The guy was great, but he was a white male, and so society hated him which is why he decided to go do it and go out with a bang.

>>34466

The lot of us couldn't have fucked this park up harder if we tried. I am struggling to explain this shit through mere incompetence. Do they hate star wars that much?

>>34831

blinded by greed.

>>34831

>>34833

If rumors are to be believed, this entire park was pretty much solely designed by marketers who figured that people would be totally fine with just going to a Star Wars-y area and wander around buying overpriced merch and eating overpriced food, and that any sort of actually entertaining content was entirely unnecessary. Even more hilarious when you consider how the marketing before the park opened was filled with buzzwords about how you'd get to "live the experience" of being in Star Wars, only for the actual park to not even let you do any cosplay or basically have any fun at all.

And any shills optimistic that the park in Florida will be an improvement, thinking that the Disneyland park is just a test run and that they'll be able to put in more stuff with the extra space? Haha, nope, it's literally a carbon copy, the only difference being the Star Wars hotel that will connect to it (and will 100% definitely not live up to the marketing). They're planning on opening one in Paris as well, except even smaller, I believe with only one of the two rides.

One day, Disney's mismanagement of Star Wars is going to be a case study in business textbooks on how not to take over a successful franchise.

>>34853

And who says that nepotism is dead?

>>34853

Y'know, if this were a just world, then cunts like Kennedy would not only be fired, but be blacklisted from the industry altogether so they could never again destroy a franchise through their shitty ideas, especially something as easy to not fuck up as Star Wars. But this is not a just world, and the worst that will happen is that she'll fail upward to some other studio, infesting it like a rat with the bubonic plague.

On a semi-related side note, Dr. Drew was on Scott Adams's livestream the other day, and he warned that Los Angeles is on the verge of a bubonic plague outbreak due to the massive amount of homeless people shitting everywhere, coupled with an increasingly out-of-hand rat problem that the city refuses to do anything about. Couldn't happen to a worse city.

I will never truly understand these people's mindset, though. Part of me gets it, in that it's the standard leftist dogma of "nobody can have fun because we have too many problems to deal with," however illogical that may be. But seriously, how do you fuck up fucking Star Wars of all things? All you have to do is not shit on the fans every two seconds and boom, you have a license to print money. Is your commitment to your ideology so severe that you're willing to burn millions of dollars in service to it, if not billions? Is it truly that important to you to kill off something that people hold dear? Or did you seriously think that the general public would do nothing but lavish praise over your blatant Mary Sue protagonists and buy every last Porg merch you're selling?

Christ, fuck all these people. I hope the plague gets them.

>>34881

>>34869

Not like that Bubonic Plague shit matters. California fags are evacuating their state in droves and leaving behind the poor and the hobos to die from the hell they created. Meanwhile the same idiots who destroyed their own state are going off to places like Texas and Tennessee to fuck shit up there before contaminating the rest of your country.

>>34869

>>34881

I agree with this, but I'd like to add a couple points.

Social Justice is rooted in intersectionality, which comes from critical theory, which comes from postmodernism. at its foundation, there is a belief that everything is relative – there are no absolute standards by which to judge. if you consider a piece of dogshit to be better and more significant than a great work of art, that's a valid statement, because it all depends on your perspective.

the Left ridicules and deconstructs philosophy, myth, and religion, because these different fields all have one thing in common – they make definite statements about what is good & bad, beautiful & ugly, true & false, which is anathema to a postmodern relativist. Disney Wars is shit for the same reason modern architecture looks like garbage, for the same reason all SJW media is soulless, derivative, and awful. they hate anything that has aesthetic quality and/or makes definite statements on the human condition. therefore, everything from Star Wars to Christianity incurs their wrath.

on top of this, the far leftists are so wedded to their ideology that they simply disregard reality in favor of ideological orthodoxy. there is a long precedent for this. Thomas Sowell's book, The Vision of the Anointed, is a red pill that describes this perfectly. even though it dates back to the 90s, the major points are more relevant than ever.

>>34853

>put people who don't like star wars in charge of a star wars park

>>33655

Who watches modern star-wars?

>>34905

>went to shit faster than a clean street in Delhi

Couldn't have said it better.

>>34853

muh vuhgaygays hurt. and muh bigoted agendas. How long will it take disney to fire this vapid cunt and stop destroying SW.

>>34918

Everything she does is approved by bob iger so probably never. The best you can hope for is a disney shake if their failures start to affect the shareholders. Kathleen will fail upwards as will Bob and the rest of the nameless disney executives that approve of how soywars is being run.

>>34133

Your right its actually a cove cylinver pen.

>>34924

I am well aware of the fact that Hollywood is full of kikes but I still wonder if we won't see an end to this kind of bullshit. No matter how you put it yidney still has shareholders who actually want to make money and for the biggest company around to not be able to turn a profit on one of the largest franchises around MUST have at least some fucking fallout for these disgusting parasites. I mean it's not like pedowood as a whole is doing much better.

>>34927

With the articles on Abigail Disney lamenting the state of Disney's parks, I almost wonder if Iger is headed for an Eisner-style ousting (as an aside, I recommend watching Defunctland for a very well-researched look at Eisner's rise and fall at Disney, told through the lens of Disney parks). The Jews in charge may be all kinds of shady, but when the actual Disney family gets pissed, they can mobilize a shareholder movement that has the potential to knock even the top executives from their perches.

The sad thing is that I think Eisner would be a better manager than Iger at this point. Eisner gets a lot of shit for trying to make things mature and cool, but at least his formulaic rehashes were only direct-to-video, and not released in theaters. He also presided over the Disney Renaissance, whereas the animated output in recent years…ehh. Still, I don't think things would really improve until a Disney was back in charge, or fuck, anyone who actually cares about quality over short-term profits.

>>34924

Shake up.

>>34927

The problem with the shareholder's bit is that disney is more or less a monopoly & hollywood itself is a cartel/syndicate therefore there is collusion between supposedly competing studio system,money laundering, as well as collusion with the federal government so while they hemorrhage money with soywars they make profit elsewhere or with government money…. In short free market principles won't work with hollywood because they have become too powerful & "the only game in town" and as such they can afford to continue to produce propaganda until the country itself becomes insolvent.

>>34869

Lefists do not care about collateral damage. As long as their target is destroyed anything else is something to worry about later. Hence why they mass invite Muslims in to destroy traditional structures while Muslims themselves will just fight them on all their progressive shit and build other traditional structures.

Progs should of been a success in theory. They would of been fine in any other movie and probably sold well. It was the backlash that tanked them.

>>34918

Is the merchandise still selling well? How many Millenial falcon releases did we get this month and how many can be reused with a new satalite dish added to it?

>>34932

muslims are part of the new power structure anon that jews sit on top of. This is just like the when the jews opened the gates in Toledo in Spain to facilitate the the invading ottoman hordes.There the muslims will not fight against leftist polices but embrace and hide behind them with selective enforcement of the law as we see happening in europe.

>>34935

You're wrong. Muslims in places like Birmingham lash out at any sort of faggotry in schools and will go faggot bashing on the weekend. They use the left's stupidity to build muslim territory but they fight leftists once they own the place.

>>34939

I'm aware of this but no one wants their kid to be the rape pinata so they rail against it..

>>34941

They are arab they like this. You find issue with this & form arguments against this because you are not arab and do not think like they do.

>>34942

You type like an arab. I know they do this, but they still oppose homosexual education pushes.