9b53f2 No.22657
Welcome to the Annual Pussy Snorkeling Championship! This year sponsored by Damar's Special Reserve Kanar, drink it before he does!
Coming to you from Casperia Prime, boy do we have a special line up this year folks!
Starting off we have last years winner and favourite to win; the Remover of Hasperat, the destroyer of Bajoran pussy everywhere, he's not just any Cardassian, he's Gul Dukat! Will he go the distance and challenge the record laid down by James T Kirk? Who knows, but if anyone can come close it's him!
Next up we have a newcomer who you may be forgiven as being some random Pakled that has wandered in confused into the studio but don't let looks fool you! Grebnedlog battle record is already nearly as long as Gowron's! Speaking of which Gowron will not be attending this year due to being disqualified by refusing to have his "d'k tahg" cleaned before taking part, stirring quite a lot of controversy!
Here we have someone you are all well acquainted with by now, he's the USS Enterprise's resident Chad and last year's runner up! Commander William T Riker! Will he take the throne from Dukat? If anyone can he's the one to beat!
Last up we have the wandering rogue, the outrageous Captain Thadium Okona! Considered quite a ladies man in certain circles but will that do him any good here when he's up against professionals? While certainly no favourite to win he may yet surprise us! Certainly one to keep an eye on!
Now we have been introduced to our contenders it's time to let them get settled in. What techniques will they use? How far will they endure? We will find out after some messages from Quark!
____________________________
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d11e73 No.22668
File: baf4c6c95c4d58d⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,93.78 KB,933x1000,933:1000,16916 - Bigbootie Deep_Spa….jpg)
A Paklet but no Dax? We know who eats the most pussy and it's not the fellows…
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7dcf1d No.22671
>>22657
My money's on Riker. Dukat is great at snorkling and all, but he seems to rarely stray from his hasperat. Makes me think he's too afaraid to give it a go with a non-wrinklenose. Riker however has gone the extra mile and seduced a genderless alien who instantly wanted to become a woman for him. Now that's a fucking pussy slayer.
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d11e73 No.22672
>>22671
>genderless
>pussy slayer
does not compute
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9b53f2 No.22687
>>22668
Those old enough to remember the Khitomer Championship will know that the Dax symbiote as been forever banned from entering due to several counts of animial cruelty which the judges at the time could only describe as "Unnatural acts with a Targ!"
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5f52e1 No.22690
>>22672
The alien in question is biologically female and strongly hinted the species is sexually compatible with humans. Culturally the planet was rigidly tumblrized in the direction of asexuality or mildly gay. Rikers benus weenus turned her into wanting to become a woman. So yes, points for Riker on his dingus turning an ayyysexual genderless mildly lesbian into a redblooded woman who wants to wear lipstick for him.
But I might deduct points against Riker since he fell way too hard for that pussy, and wanted to abandon his career and elope with her. I mean sheeeeit nigga, pimps don't marry their hoes.
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f11c78 No.22698
>>22671
Dukat could go on a decade long pussy snorkeling odyssey, if he wanted, but that's not what he wants. Dukat enjoys the mind games, the hunt, the complex stratagems where he spends weeks subtly influencing a woman until she is begging to get some of that sweet, sweet spoonhead loving.
Riker is about frequent, but short bouts of intense lovemaking. He is quantity over quality. Dukat is the opposite. He doesn't care if it takes a decade of carefully laid plans and schemes, the final victory where a woman fully gives herself over to him is all that matters.
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579d4a No.22704
>>22698
>When you conquer a woman with such a victory you can order her to cum on command.
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eb6adf No.22758
My latinum is on that Johnny Depp-looking fellow. He's the only one who doesn't have some kind of image to uphold that might get in the way of getting more pussy than the male of a pride of lions. He also looks like a faggot, but that's okay; we all know there are no such things as homosexuals, only straight people and will-fuck-anything-that-moves bisexuals. In which case he'll have even more of an advantage.
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d11e73 No.22759
>>22758
>He also looks like a faggot
I'm pretty sure Wesley gave him a BJ in engineering in that episode
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9e388d No.22765
>>22758
I would argue that there are no true bisexual males, only fags in transition.
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f4ac99 No.22767
>>22765
Hopefully lost in translation
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f4ac99 No.22768
Fuck i thought you said translation.
Nothing worse than Joke Cribdeath
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8c1196 No.22775
>>22657
I'm liking that trophy.
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ca55c5 No.22777
>>22668
>Paklet
What is that? A Pakled Manlet?
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4efc6e No.22793
>>22777
>Paklet
>What is that? A Pakled Manlet?
Lucky7 casino trips says, yes. Yes it is.
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362c07 No.22794
>>22758
Captain Okona was gearing up to fuck every female officer on the Enterprise the moment he was transported on board. He's a safe bet, considering Dukat isn't out to compete, he just loves the game, and Riker is a hopeless romantic who can't help but run back to Troi every few weeks.
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b5f361 No.22941
>>22794
Bolian barber would have cucked him.
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4c898e No.22994
>>22793
>Why didn't Data count cards?
Because it's not a sure win as there is still luck involved in which cards come up. But with dice, you definitely win every throw if it comes up right.
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104f3c No.24175
Should we make this a site wide event someday?
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21e0b4 No.24255
>>22671
Dukat has 7 kids with his Cardassian wife and he also references having a taste for Orion slave girls. The crinkle noses were just in closest orbit to his dick.
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70d178 No.24262
All of you seem to be forgetting there's two horned up Rikers, one of which has been stuck on a planet alone for years ready to spring forth like a rabid bonobo. That's a X2 modifier if not more on everything one Riker fucks and one Riker already fucks everything. Riker has sired an entire race of bastards by now. How is this even a valid competition?
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2ba804 No.24264
>>24262
Two separate entities, they'd be in competition with each other rather than adding their scores together. Did you even read last years rules handbook?
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0200e7 No.24294
>>22994
>there is still luck involved
You sound like someone who's never played poker or baccarat.
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ed1c76 No.24295
>>24294
There still is an element of chance involved, even with expert players. In fact I'd argue that skill only decides the game when there's a disparity in skill level between the players; if all the players have similar levels of expertise then the game comes down to card distribution.
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784ff9 No.24327
>>24262
Something about that beard made me think he could have been in more things. I just don't know what though.
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6d02f2 No.24331
>>24327
I miss FMV cutscenes in vidya.
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494717 No.24334
>>24262
Didn't the other Riker try to take over DS9?
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c3b1a7 No.24336
>>24334
No, he stole the Defiant and tried to attack the Cardies only to get captured and imprisoned for who knows how long.
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813626 No.24351
>>24331
FMVs where great, FMV games themselves where kind of meh since most of the time they where just point and clicks without any good indicator what you can actually click one. I remember this one had a moment where you knock out one of your "crew mates" but you had to tamper with their guns and change the frequency, or the borg in the next 2 scenes would kill you. I don't know if that was a good example or bad, and the game clearly wanted you to be dying and save scumming you ass off until you got it.
>Spoony
Practically the only footage I could find of this game.
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01eae8 No.24352
>>24351
>FMV games themselves where kind of meh
Go play the Jedi Knight games then say that to my face you slut
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46132e No.24354
>>24352
I mean the ones that where exclusively FMV. Ho
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70d178 No.24355
>>24336
The loss of Thomas Riker is the cononical reason why the Maquis was destroyed by the Dominion, and why Kira could only fuck a gelatinous tentacle beast to feel anything at all after Thomas was done slaying her massive vagina .
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4c898e No.24421
>>24294
Wouldn't work either way. Data has Android Autism so wouldn't be capable of reading the other players, and as poker is a game of experience rather than knowledge he would lose before figuring it out perfectly.
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1064e6 No.27976
Should have this a sitewide game.
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4e19a5 No.27995
>>27992
They sent him to Argentina?
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c71363 No.28000
>>24421
Android autism and perfect memory could allow him to mass-catalogue the facial expressions and body language of the other players and compare it to what their hands were that round. With a large enough sample size he could create a reasonable analog for human intuition.
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8aed38 No.28015
>>27992
I hope you're banned for that webm. It does not even come close to living up to our high cardassian moral standards.
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7a14ec No.28017
>>28015
>Cardassian Moral Standards
>Have to shop out Dukat's ego
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8aed38 No.28028
>>28017
If you really want the unedited version, I'll post it. I'm spoilering it, though.
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