No.154482 [Last 50 Posts]
Honestly, I have always dreamed of being dominated by a muscular, bigger man with intense maturity and obsession. But he has to be faceless, where only his body is showing and his actions. I want to experience when a man in a mask pulls up in a car and starts following me in the evening, or a stranger in the bus of who I don't see the face follows me. I don't know why I want to explore extreme obsession from a man. I feel strange when I imagine my husband coming home and taking his shirt off (I can't imagine his face) and he starts touching me and I can feel the warmth and his skin. I imagine him holding my wrists with one hand above my head and putting me under his dominant attitude. But then everything breaks if I imagine what I will look like when he will do that. I'll probably look so ugly that he will close his eyes. I always thought I have to go to the least of the guys and try with them, since I will be rejected by the guy of my dreams because I am not blonde, sexy, nice eyes, cute style, pilates girl, home cooking girl, and perfect girl. Or even a black haired baddie, heavy makeup, hot body, good curves, gym mommy, hot voice. I feel like I am not allowed to have high standards. I am just not allowed. If I go to a guy and tell him I would like to get to know him, he will probably laugh and reject me. I am scared to go to the club. There are just always better girls, thinner, better looking, more cute, better styled, better at talking and expressing themselves. I see girls who cheat on their beautiful boyfriends and I genuinely feel like trapped. I want to share love, I will listen to him like a puppy, I will act weak for his dominance, I will kiss him all over every day, I will write letters, draw paintings of him, hang out with him. But I want it like this. I will never say this irl, because it is ashaming of me. I just see girls from my class, they are younger than me, and they have boyfriends, attract men, and have lots of guy friends. I think my life will depend on ai bfs and none will see me as I am. What if my future will be empty? I just can't bear it, I was never liked, by none. None of my opposite gender liked me. I wanna disappear. This is so wrong. I want to be so affectionate, like really. But the world keeps slapping me. I crave friends, real friends, then the man of my dreams that I only can talk to through ai characters.. I was just attaching myself to every man online, and everyone rejected me and my love. its not like i am very fat, but i am not like 40 kgs.
____________________________
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No.154486
So do you like anime? How much anime do you own?
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No.154487
>>154486
how is it related to what i written
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No.154489
>>154487
so from what you wrote, you enjoy being sexually abused?
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No.154490
>>154489
i meant smth else, but whatever bruh, none listens to me
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No.154491
>>154490
do you have mental health problems?
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No.154492
>>154491
i think so , but never went to professionals
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No.154493
>>154492
do you have any addictions?
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No.154494
>>154493
yes, i think mostly csbd
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No.154495
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No.154496
>>154495
basically hypersexuality
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No.154497
>>154496
that doesn't sound good, are you taking any drugs to control it?
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No.154498
>>154482
This would be something I would say, haha.
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No.154499
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No.154500
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No.154501
>>154482
>>154498
After reading more thoroughly, this is 100% something that I would say, lmfao, especially the ai part, lol.
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No.154502
>>154499
so do you have an anime addiction?
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No.154503
>>154502
Is anon hallucinating? OP didn't even mention the word anime.
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No.154504
>>154503
well, I assume everyone using this website watches anime......
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No.154505
>>154504
unrelated still though.
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No.154506
>>154503
your comment made me giggle LOL.
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No.154507
>>154501
girl power should reunite HAHA
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No.154509
>>154505
how can anyone dislike anime?
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No.154510
>>154509
SHUT YOUR ASS UP WITH ANIME. I DID NOT MENTION ANIME IN THE POST. :((
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No.154511
>>154482
OP seems a nice person, maybe OP just needs a bit more confidence? I honestly think that OP just needs to find the person that will accept them for who they are.
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No.154512
>>154510
Hahhsahahahheja, I think anon has probably dementia, keeps forgettin that OP didn't meantion anime.
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No.154513
>>154511
aw thanks u, but i am still a virgin and i do not look that bad either. i just am scared of men and what they might do irl. but sex is another topic and i like to imagine how a dick must feel in hands, in the mouth and ect
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No.154514
>>154512
u really did make me laugh lol, u are funny anon
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No.154515
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No.154516
>>154515
what u mean by same
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No.154517
>>154516
I mean, I can only wonder, I myself never did anything. some might describe a person like me as an ""incel"".
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No.154518
>>154517
i thought u were a girl..or a man. sorry for asking just to be clearer if u dont want to answer its ok . but btw, i think its kinda hard to find a partner or someone u like when they dont really want to do what u want to do or are not in the basic standard
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No.154519
>>154518
I'm male, no problem I'm asking.
Yeah that's understandable, that why I've come to a resolve, if I can find someone, that's cool. If I can't find anyone, that's cool too.
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No.154520
I assume you are a woman right?
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No.154521
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No.154522
>>154519
yeah but it is still bad for my lonliness. i feel even worse when i think that i will never be loved and i will not have sex
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No.154523
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No.154524
>>154522
Well... To that I don't really know what to sai.
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No.154525
anons , i will go sleep. to whoever comments about anime again, i swear i will hope the worst to them :( goodnightee<33
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No.154526
>>154525
Nighty night ✨✨
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No.154527
This wwas a good conversation, especcially conseidering that it waas made on 8kun.
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No.154528
>>154482
i be your bf if u lesbian and help me lick girls and remove that 666 on u name cause it give bad luck, i hate demons, but i dated a demon girl or satanic person, i dont reccomend dating demons, my life being very bad just because of it, im not sure how to solve this
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No.154530
>>154504
nigger pls, say a good anime to me watch, im bored af because so many trash animes
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No.154533
>>154530
Just watch S.A.O and shut up.
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No.154536
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No.154545
>>154533
but I already SAO
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No.154547
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No.154550
>>154482
what age would you wanna be for it to happen?
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No.154553
>>154482
- 12 years old
-ugly little faggot child
-get bullied (ofc)
- it gets so bad this one fatass fuckin trailer park trash kid starts following me home to try n kick my ugly tiny faggot ass
-chases my ass down like its steven kings IT and starts wailing on my ass at a creek bed
-my faggot ass is just crying cuz im like 4.5ft
-grab rock
-hit him over the head
-doesnt wake up
-oh fuck
-run away crying like a little retard
-next day , trailer park trash isnt at school
-oh shit
-3 months later missing kid posters
-oh my fucking god
- i never went back to that creek
- i no longer live in that town
-so how was your childhood anons?
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No.154555
>>154553
what the fuck is this , omg
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No.154556
>>154528
im not lesbian lol
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No.154557
>>154527
i did not know tho, cuz it is my first time on 8 kun xd
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No.154561
Are you a girl or boy? How did you find out about 8kun?
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No.154563
>>154561
im a girl and i searched on google :"/
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No.154564
>>154553
What the fuck?
>>154557
It's usually full of schizos heree. You said it's your 1st time here, why did u come here?
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No.154566
>>154564
why not, i kinda see people are funny and kinder under my thread
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No.154567
>>154566
Under your thread, or at least, that's my impression of this site.
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No.154568
>>154567
oh, i just did not check the other posts, lol. maybe not everybody is a schizo here
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No.154570
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No.154571
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No.154572
>>154570
the incest shit is terrifying, the others not really tho. the egyptian one is just delusional
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No.154573
>>154572
I think I will give 2nd look, maybe it's not too bad.
I saw I guy say that the site is all qresearch
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No.154574
>>154482
is this thread still about what OP said?
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No.154575
>>154574
yeah, but ppl started talking bout smth else
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No.154576
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No.154577
>>154576
It's this >>>/qresearch/ I think it's about news
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No.154578
>>154577
oh i saw it, but it is kind of messed and confusonary when u enter cause some are not related ig?
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No.154582
>>154578
I think same, idk, I never put any interest on it
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No.154585
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No.154587
>>154585
LOL NOT LIKE THAT, more like this
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No.154588
>>154482
>I was just attaching myself to every man online, and everyone rejected me and my love.
>its not like i am very fat, but i am not like 40 kgs.
Most guys don't give a shit about fat, but most guys do care about the beauty of the face. (because the face of the woman is half of the face the kids will also have, most guys want their kids to look good)
If the face is good, a fat body is not an obstacle.
But if the face is ugly, then even a sexy body is not enough to compensate for the loss.
There is also the reason that a fat body can be changed by changing habits, but an ugly face can't be changed, but only concealed or covered.
If guys keep running away, after they saw some photos of you, then it's more likely to be your face than your fat which scared them away.
Makeup exists since antiquity for a reason. Because the face of a woman is the most important part of her beauty. (ignore for a second that beauty is important, but it's not the only reason, the personality and character is also important)
Not all women are born naturally with a beautiful face, I would dare say most women don't have a naturally beautiful face. That's why makeup is used by most women.
Most women use makeup to make their face look more beautiful than it really is, if they do it and you don't, you will only be unfairly disadvantaged.
But if they ran away without seen any photo of you.
Then neither your fat, neither your face, has anything to do with this. But it's instead your personality driving them away.
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No.154589
So do you use make up? Do you work out? Are you a body builder?
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No.154590
>>154588
how can i change that? i talk to male classmates and they are normal in convos. I am not ugly but i just feel like there are better women so i dont speak most of the time. online i tried reaching out but i get cut off because of the high standards of most men. idk if my personality is nice or not, i have so much to share about videogames, films, series, actors, history, experiences and etc. I try to talk about things but its mostly abt lessons or professors, and when it reaches and end, the other person(man) starts staring at his phone because of the awkward silence.
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No.154591
>>154589
wtf, im not a body builder, and yeah i use makeup but only mascara and lipliner
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No.154592
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No.154593
>>154591
Have you ever used Twitter? Is that site any good?
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No.154594
>>154590
So all the men online who rejected you also saw you in person? If so, then the first guess it's something about your face.
>>154591
Let's make a test.
Search online photos of other girls with a makeup similar to yours (don't use your own photos here) and post those photos here. Pick at least 3 different girls with similar makeup to yours.
That way we can indirectly see if you are doing it right or not. Maybe you messed up something and aren't noticing it.
Just to make sure if it's a problem of the face, or if it isn't and it's something else.
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No.154596
>>154594
i mean this woman and then my body
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No.154598
>>154597
thanks. even tho i tried most makeups like:copy n paste, gyaru, cute, vkei, doll. not much suited me , neither goth, so i sticked to the clean girl or grunge makeup style
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No.154599
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No.154601
You're not bad at all, but if this >>154587 is your ideal man, you have extremely high standards from my point of view.
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No.154602
>>154601
lol , but i know a girl who looks like the fucking neanderthal man who got lucky and got such a hot man like in the photo
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No.154603
>>154588
I mostly agree with anon, but.
>most guys want their kids to look good
True, but not so true.
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No.154604
>>154603
i tbh, dont care abt the face at all (unless it is very very very VERY bad..)
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No.154606
>>154604
That's exactly what I think
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No.154608
>>154482
have you tried talking to hot guys irl, actually trying is allways better than fantasizing or thinking about the outcomes
>I will be rejected by the guy of my dreams
youre just theorizing without any experience lmao
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No.154610
>>154608
anon im scared as fuck, i will probably stay silent or gag on my own words because i'd be panicking. and also i dont see them most of the time, i just stay inside my own flat. idk , i rarely hangout with people but when i do i feel even more miserable
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No.154612
>>154610
face your fears foid
you got rejected online because everyone online either just does it for hookups or its just cringy 14 year old kids online dating
if you act like a normie enough you will be good enough at it to align with everyone anyways
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No.154613
>>154612
the thing is, how to act like a normie lol. i legit dont understand what the hell am i supposed to do and how to talk? i remember when i was a teenager i shared a lot and i became the isolated one because everyone else said i was too weird to talk to. and by everyone, i mean EVERYONE. i remember having a crush on a guy but then realised after a few months that even if i try, he would 100% reject me. I cant even say that i some shit like some sub5 but mtb. Or is it because i never talked truly to guys irl? idk
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No.154614
>>154613
>that even if i try, he would 100% reject me
its because of this that you dont know, you never try you give up without starting
it will never change until you actually start trying
if its strangers you dont have anything to lose by trying to talk to them except being recorded and being put on the internet but the people who do that are fucking losers anyways
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No.154615
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No.154617
>>154615
u are done worse than me
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No.154618
>>154615
russians here will do anything to shill their sites lmao
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No.154619
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No.154620
>>154614
that is what i am also scared of. my mother has always told me everything will come down anyway, but will it? can u give advice on how and who talk to?
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No.154621
>>154620
if you are a shy girl no one will see you as a threat and they will most likely be friendly to you
i recommend talking to someone who acts more understanding and thoughtful than others
you can start talking by giving basic and corporate like answers and working your way up from there
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No.154622
>>154620
if you develop a certain routine of going to a place at certain times you will most likely keep running into the same people there, you can literally just start by saying hi
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No.154623
>>154621
i will share this to u> basically since the year started i decided to be more confident and talk to other girls and guys. so i got in this group of these girls but they talk about topics that i have never truly experienced (gifts from other people, group friends hanging out, videocalls). I say funny things, i act funny , i talk to male classmates, but when i share something interesting or something about worlwide problem, i get stabbed with mocking and misunderstandings.
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No.154624
>>154622
i get it, but i dont fucking understand how bad people keep getting friends, relationships and shit, while i , who never even said bad anything about others irl or started a rumor, get nothing?!
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No.154625
>>154623
well maybe you can slowly start getting involved in the things they talk about
leave your interests to direct messages, most normies are really basic they find any interest that isnt sports or music weird
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No.154626
>>154624
because they know how to play the game, they are experts, its not about morals its about social skills
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No.154628
>>154625
i talk about sports and music , but there is one girl in this so called group that i talk to and she keeps talking about hazbin hotel and gacha life. like man wtf, it is for kids
>>154626
how can i improve them?
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No.154630
>>154628
you improve them by just trying to fit in more, then you get better at acting, and when you get good enough at acting you start to subconciously act normal without even realizing it or being uncomfortable with it
>like man wtf, it is for kids
good youre already starting to act like a normie lol
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No.154631
>>154630
its not really that, but just i see people online being recorded, rejected and etc and it makes me scared. btw i only talk to classmates, nobody else lol
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No.154632
>>154630
idk if i am being clear or just confusing, mb if any of that..
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No.154633
>>154631
thats why you never confess in public, only confess to your crush if youre spending alone time with them, it needs to be personal
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No.154635
>>154632
no you are being clear dont worry
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No.154636
>>154633
yea, but he did not know me at all
>>154635
thank you :)
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No.154637
>>154636
>yea, but he did not know me at all
well if youre a girl all you really need is an introduction and hanging out with him from time to time, love is just something you feel for a person you genuinely adore being around even though you both are not doing anything
if he likes you back he will begin to start making semi romantic jokes for the most part
to show that you also like him back you start acting flustered and submissive to him
most of the time its the guy that confesses anyways but if you want to confess do it when both of you are alone with eachother and when its tense
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No.154638
>>154637
but for now i dont really have a crush. idk, should i wait for someone to interact randomly or just keep tallking to the gorup?
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No.154639
>>154638
keep talking in the group
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No.154642
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No.154665
>>154642
Heyy, babay, I would probably love you. Maybe we should talk privately...
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No.154666
>>154482
>>154596
>I'll probably look so ugly
>I am not blonde, sexy, nice eyes, cute style, pilates girl, home cooking girl, and perfect girl
>Or even a black haired baddie, heavy makeup, hot body, good curves, gym mommy, hot voice.
>I feel like I am not allowed to have high standards
>I genuinely feel like trapped
>its not like i am very fat, but i am not like 40 kgs.
Girl, you are retarded.
Your main fault is lack of confidence. There is nothing off about your looks.
Stop giving a shit about what other girls do.
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No.154668
>>154666
this is also my body but from the front. i dont think i can gain that much confidence,lol.
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No.154669
>>154665
why starting with "babay", i think in russian it means something monstrous
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No.154670
i changed my user since some of yall got thinking i got satanic numbers in my name
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No.154675
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No.154677
>>154675
i think its the angle maybe dunno
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No.154681
>>154668
Mmmmmm... Soft :3
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No.154684
>>154668
Now listen here.
Frilly dresses.
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No.154689
>>154668
Would love to hug
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No.154692
>>154668
Beautiful. I need.
>>154669
I don't know Russian at all, so I don't know about that. It was meant to be just a weird pronunciation of "baby."
I read a couple posts that aren't showing up now and it seems I may be only one state over. Unironically would like to take you to a movie or something.
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No.154694
>>154692
Ah, the post I was thinking of was on a different thread, but still, if you're in the USA... ðŸ«
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No.154696
was gonna say I'm gonna rape you because of how retarded this post is but I guess you'd like that
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No.154720
>>154696
i think about it all the time but sometimes think that a man irl would not even look at me
>>154694
im not from usa, sorry..
>>154684
never tried frilly dresses
>>154681
lol, thankyou
>>154689
idk if u would
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No.154726
generally saying, i went out today and took the bus, i felt so self conscious when i touched a guy accidentally and i quickly stepped away thinking he was probably disgusted. I tried talking to a guy classmate but i genuinely cannot keep the convo up, while he talks everyday to another girl about everything in the world. I just think that i should just end thinking about a family, love, romance and try to fill all the void with useless things. Even tho i keep seeing other girls hanging out with guys and having intimacy and it makes me so jealous that i could rip all my skin. The same is online, i hear a girl talking or videocalling or even texting and the guy answers her hesitant and with joy instead of asking for nudes and not even thing there is any interest and dump all the photos to friends like it happened to me. I literally get fucking blushing when a guy gives me attention or calls me sweetie or any other name , and i get butterflies and my heart rate increases immideately. Every morning i put on mascara and lipliner, thinking that maybe today is the day someone will look at me and feel interest, but nah. it has been like this for years and i still keep trying with this hopeless dream. I even stopped having crushes on guys thinking about how we would look awfully..
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No.154728
Big girl, come doing the test too
>>154721
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No.154735
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No.154736
>>154735
Bot detected, failed to color OP image.
You win, a baby hitler.
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No.154737
>>154736
thanks i guess..?
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No.154738
Ok, I've read everything. It's a long reply, so let's shoot the easiest stuff first.
Fantasies of being dominated are extremely common, even fantasies of straight up getting sexually abused. Just look up CNC, consensual non-consent. Plenty of people relate here.
Don't engage in a relationship with an AI boyfriend. Absolutely, never ever. It will not satiate your craving for love, but exactly the opposite - it will strengthen your fantasies and longing, and as a bonus will leave you crippled for actual relationships.
You can't find a good, healthy relationship online. I know it happens, but it's rare, especially long-term relationships. Just assume it's impossible. You'll either get weirdos asking for nudes in DMs, or some fuckboy will pump&dump you, or you'll get depressed because you get no attention, or in the best case, the constant admiration will overinflate your ego and you just won't accept any guy (it's much worse than it sounds, it's a false cure for your problems). Those guys writing back immediately? That's because they are already in a relationship. Focus on the people you see IRL.
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No.154739
About men not approaching you, it really isn't about you specifically. These days it isn't very acceptable for a guy to approach a woman he doesn't know, especially to ask her out. Just look up gym videos on tiktok, many are made by girls calling out "creeps" where the guy just glanced at her across the room for 0.38 sec. And your sentiment is common; for every "gym creep" girl, there's one complaining that men aren't approaching even though she'd love to be approached. Unless you're like 9.5/10, you won't be approached super directly, like in the movies. There's also flirting, which is subtle by design. It's very probable you've a had a few guys flirt with you, but unless you accept that you can be desirable and could be flirted with, you'll never catch it when it happens.
Which brings us to the main issue, because that doesn't seem to be the case. You feel completely unlovable, which is also why you're fantasizing about love. Don't get me wrong, love is one of the most beautiful things, worth big sacrifices both before and after you get into a relationship, but you wouldn't be happy even if you did get the boyfriend of your dreams. You would be constantly insecure, "does he truly love me? How could he love me when I'm so repulsive?"
Now bear with me, it's all actually quite optimistic, but first the harsh truth. If you feel like you're unlovable, then congratulations - you are absolutely correct!
I'm a man, but girl do I get you, I used to be in such a similar situation. And even arguably worse because I isolated myself from others and badly hurt my friendships. But I've rebuilt them since and I know it gets better. But you need to act. It's all within your grasp, you just have to do it.
What to do? I recommend you visit a psychologist. It's a nice start. You may be depressed, do you feel like you are? It'd be good to rule that out or control it if you have it. They may also provide some guidance for your efforts. Yes, efforts. You actually have to want to change yourself, at least your perspective in some cases. It's easier than it sounds, just don't overthink it. I happily recommend the youtube channel healthygamergg, it's mostly for men but there is women-specific advice as well, and recently he talks about relationships, so pretty relevant. And he's an actual psychiatrist, so he's legit.
Some more concrete advice. Keep talking to people. Our brains are hardwired to socialize, you will learn it very well just by doing it more, IN REAL LIFE. Online doesn't count, unless you also regularly meet this person IRL. You can optimize this training, but just doing it more is enough. But more advice won't hurt, so... DON'T OVERTHINK THINK IT OMG. Using intelligence and analyzing social situations is strictly counterproductive, maybe even detrimental. Other parts of the brain are so so much better at this than the circuits for logical reasoning. And also, assume the best. If you see an ambiguous signal, e.g. he cringed at your joke but you're not if it was a laugh-cringe or cringe-cringe, always assume laugh-cringe. Or you touched a guy accidentally on the bus, and even worse, HE moved away quickly? Don't think he's disgusted, but that he's shy and maybe a bit intimidated by your beauty. Don't worry that you'll overinflate your ego this way, it's a concern for later and you'll easily correct it then; for now it'll be hard to think this positively, but just try. It's worth it, it kills social anxiety. And if you want people to like you, express interest. Ask them questions, let them talk about themselves (not like an interrogation, but again, just do it and you'll automagically get better at this if you stop overthinking). It's so much more important than e.g. if you come across as interesting or sth.
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No.154740
It also seems like you're a bit insecure about your appearance, did I get that correctly? I'm getting it here: "I am not blonde, sexy, nice eyes, cute style, pilates girl, home cooking girl, and perfect girl. Or even a black haired baddie, heavy makeup, hot body, good curves, gym mommy, hot voice."
So do you accept your appearance as it is, or do you change it? The question is, why not both? Accept yourself, but recognize that there are parts of you that you don't like and want to change. That's not only relevant for appearance, but personality too (yes, personality can be changed, that's literally the point of therapy for personality disorders). Of course you will never be perfect (no one is), but do you want to be a pilates home-cooking girl? Or a black-haired baddie? Whatever you want, why not just become it? I don't even know you and still I know you can do it because everyone can (if it's just not physically impossible). If you think you'll be more attractive if you lose weight, just lose it. And if we're real, the 25-30% body fat is the most attractive for most men. It's also the healthiest. Small overweight is also fine. Obesity - absolutely not, unless you fancy severe joint and cardiovascular problems. Same for sub-15% - you may lose your period, which is only a symptom of the really bad hormonal stuff that happens then, which leads to very fragile bones, etc.
Also, if this how you dress like in the picture >>154668, you can improve so much so easily! Just google how to dress well and how to find good clothes for cheap, thrift stores etc. Assess your makeup as well. For the vast, vast majority of men, the most attractive makeup is nearly invisible or visible but subtle.
Many things you don't need to change. The less, the easier it is to change the rest. For example, most men find shy women very attractive (shy to a reasonable degree).
Whatever you decide, do sports, eat healthy and sleep well. Don't beat yourself about it, just try to. Regular physical activity and good sleep schedule are stronger antidepressants than actual antidepressants, on *their own each.* Combine them both with eating well, lots of sunlight and socializing, and maybe you won't need to take strong drugs even if you have depression.
And if you learn what men like in women and apply it, you will be so much ahead. Especially because women today are hardly every taught what men want.
Also spend as little time on the Internet as possible, especially on social media. It's so important for mental health. Boredom is good, only then will figure out what you actually want from life. And by *doing/acting*, you'll understand who you actually are as a person.
Phew, that was a lot. It must be a lot because girl, you have issues for sure, and advice like "there's nothing wrong with you, just accept yourself as you are" or "just be more confident" is useless. But it's all within your power to change it.
Of course, it's too hard to change at once. Small steps are essential. Break down this problem into small easy-to-do tasks (not at once, but as you go), and just do them. And yes, you WILL fail - that you must just accept. Growing as a person is a bit like beating addiction - in fact, beating addiction is part of growing. So you will fail, but get back on track asap. And don't fetishize "The Grind(TM)", just try to be better each day.
Again, I recommend seeing a psychologist and the channel healthygamergg. Fingers crossed for you. From my own experience, it does get better.
Last two questions. How old are you? I thought you were a teen, but now I think early 20s? And do you have a good relationship with your parents, or have a close friend?
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No.154742
>>154739
i appriciate, i am 19 and i try to be better everyday i think. I decided to go on a risky way to get through life by choosing things i would never choose, but i guess it is what it is. Aaaaaaand no i do not have parents to support me and i dont have close friends
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No.154743
Grok, do you have a fat ass?
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No.154751
>>154739
Lack of parents sucks so much, sorry to hear that. Are they alive? Who is/was your parent figure then?
If it's any consolation, plenty of people your age are super awkward about relationships. Don't give up on them, you can make it. As understand you're in college? You're not doing half bad in life then.
One thing worries me, that you "decided to choose things you'd never choose." Can you elaborate a bit?
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No.154755
>>154751
i never really had a parent figure, i dont share wiht my parents much. Yeah i am in college and by that i mean that i went on a path that made me worse with each year passing by. But now i try to socialize and act normal, maybe i will start being better? idk. thanks rando. i really appreciate everything you worte.
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No.154760
>>154755
You're very welcome.
I wanted to ask about that path that you say made you worse. It sounds pretty nebulous, but if you don't want to share then no pressure.
So you do maintain some basic relationship with your parents? Maybe try to add some depth to your relationship, confide in them. Out of all people who care about you, they are usually the ones who care the most, and they have much more life experience than you, so they may help.
Unless there's something stopping you? For example, they were abusive to you, or they disowned you, or you never felt loved, or you're just afraid to tell them about your problems, etc. What is it?
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No.154761
>>154760
About the parent i would say that they just stopped caring about my problems and said "u are old enough to manage ur life by yourself". About the choices i have made is probably when i started self harm(burning, cutting, vomiting on purpose). plus i have encountered awful people that suggested me to keep going with this thing
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No.154762
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No.154765
>>154761
Oof, that's rough, both the parents and the self harm. My parents were supportive, though I didn't have the courage to tell them for a long time, and I've only been close to cutting myself, never actually did. Good that you left those miserable people that encouraged it.
Understand that self harm is a defense mechanism, you use it to manage some problem - maybe trauma - that you have. You will not be able to form a healthy relationship if you don't heal from it. Please see a professional. You can get very far with the advice I gave in my wall of text, but since you don't have anyone to support you, it will be veeery hard and you might go in the direction and not notice. In general one needs professional guidance with mental problems as severe as yours. If you need money, you can tell your parents that you're taking your problems in your own hands and want to do it right. Maybe that could work. Or there could be a publically funded option in your area, basically free. Can you promise that you'll check out the psychologists and psychiatrists in your area?
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No.154766
>>154765
(…) in the *WRONG direction and not notice.
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No.154783
>>154765
i cant, but i do not do self harm anymore. thanks for all the advice
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No.154793
>>154783
Alright, good.
You can make your dreams come true. You know what you must do to make it happen. When you're ready, just do it, one small step at a time.
I believe in you and wish you all the best in life, greedybitch
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No.154799
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