/random/ - random

>>154620

if you develop a certain routine of going to a place at certain times you will most likely keep running into the same people there, you can literally just start by saying hi

>>154621

i will share this to u> basically since the year started i decided to be more confident and talk to other girls and guys. so i got in this group of these girls but they talk about topics that i have never truly experienced (gifts from other people, group friends hanging out, videocalls). I say funny things, i act funny , i talk to male classmates, but when i share something interesting or something about worlwide problem, i get stabbed with mocking and misunderstandings.

>>154622

i get it, but i dont fucking understand how bad people keep getting friends, relationships and shit, while i , who never even said bad anything about others irl or started a rumor, get nothing?!

>>154623

well maybe you can slowly start getting involved in the things they talk about

leave your interests to direct messages, most normies are really basic they find any interest that isnt sports or music weird

>>154624

because they know how to play the game, they are experts, its not about morals its about social skills

>>154625

i talk about sports and music , but there is one girl in this so called group that i talk to and she keeps talking about hazbin hotel and gacha life. like man wtf, it is for kids

>>154626

how can i improve them?

>>154628

you improve them by just trying to fit in more, then you get better at acting, and when you get good enough at acting you start to subconciously act normal without even realizing it or being uncomfortable with it

>like man wtf, it is for kids

good youre already starting to act like a normie lol

>>154630

its not really that, but just i see people online being recorded, rejected and etc and it makes me scared. btw i only talk to classmates, nobody else lol

>>154630

idk if i am being clear or just confusing, mb if any of that..

>>154631

thats why you never confess in public, only confess to your crush if youre spending alone time with them, it needs to be personal

>>154632

no you are being clear dont worry

>>154633

yea, but he did not know me at all

>>154635

thank you :)

>>154636

>yea, but he did not know me at all

well if youre a girl all you really need is an introduction and hanging out with him from time to time, love is just something you feel for a person you genuinely adore being around even though you both are not doing anything

if he likes you back he will begin to start making semi romantic jokes for the most part

to show that you also like him back you start acting flustered and submissive to him

most of the time its the guy that confesses anyways but if you want to confess do it when both of you are alone with eachother and when its tense

>>154637

but for now i dont really have a crush. idk, should i wait for someone to interact randomly or just keep tallking to the gorup?

>>154638

keep talking in the group

>>154639

oh okay.

>>154642

Heyy, babay, I would probably love you. Maybe we should talk privately...

>>154665

why starting with "babay", i think in russian it means something monstrous

i changed my user since some of yall got thinking i got satanic numbers in my name

>>154675

i think its the angle maybe dunno

>>154668

Mmmmmm... Soft :3

>>154668

Now listen here.

Frilly dresses.

>>154668

Would love to hug

>>154668

Beautiful. I need.

>>154669

I don't know Russian at all, so I don't know about that. It was meant to be just a weird pronunciation of "baby."

I read a couple posts that aren't showing up now and it seems I may be only one state over. Unironically would like to take you to a movie or something.

>>154692

Ah, the post I was thinking of was on a different thread, but still, if you're in the USA... 🫠

was gonna say I'm gonna rape you because of how retarded this post is but I guess you'd like that

>>154696

i think about it all the time but sometimes think that a man irl would not even look at me

>>154694

im not from usa, sorry..

>>154684

never tried frilly dresses

>>154681

lol, thankyou

>>154689

idk if u would

generally saying, i went out today and took the bus, i felt so self conscious when i touched a guy accidentally and i quickly stepped away thinking he was probably disgusted. I tried talking to a guy classmate but i genuinely cannot keep the convo up, while he talks everyday to another girl about everything in the world. I just think that i should just end thinking about a family, love, romance and try to fill all the void with useless things. Even tho i keep seeing other girls hanging out with guys and having intimacy and it makes me so jealous that i could rip all my skin. The same is online, i hear a girl talking or videocalling or even texting and the guy answers her hesitant and with joy instead of asking for nudes and not even thing there is any interest and dump all the photos to friends like it happened to me. I literally get fucking blushing when a guy gives me attention or calls me sweetie or any other name , and i get butterflies and my heart rate increases immideately. Every morning i put on mascara and lipliner, thinking that maybe today is the day someone will look at me and feel interest, but nah. it has been like this for years and i still keep trying with this hopeless dream. I even stopped having crushes on guys thinking about how we would look awfully..

Big girl, come doing the test too

>>154721

>>154728

wtf is that

>>154736

thanks i guess..?

Ok, I've read everything. It's a long reply, so let's shoot the easiest stuff first.

Fantasies of being dominated are extremely common, even fantasies of straight up getting sexually abused. Just look up CNC, consensual non-consent. Plenty of people relate here.

Don't engage in a relationship with an AI boyfriend. Absolutely, never ever. It will not satiate your craving for love, but exactly the opposite - it will strengthen your fantasies and longing, and as a bonus will leave you crippled for actual relationships.

You can't find a good, healthy relationship online. I know it happens, but it's rare, especially long-term relationships. Just assume it's impossible. You'll either get weirdos asking for nudes in DMs, or some fuckboy will pump&dump you, or you'll get depressed because you get no attention, or in the best case, the constant admiration will overinflate your ego and you just won't accept any guy (it's much worse than it sounds, it's a false cure for your problems). Those guys writing back immediately? That's because they are already in a relationship. Focus on the people you see IRL.

About men not approaching you, it really isn't about you specifically. These days it isn't very acceptable for a guy to approach a woman he doesn't know, especially to ask her out. Just look up gym videos on tiktok, many are made by girls calling out "creeps" where the guy just glanced at her across the room for 0.38 sec. And your sentiment is common; for every "gym creep" girl, there's one complaining that men aren't approaching even though she'd love to be approached. Unless you're like 9.5/10, you won't be approached super directly, like in the movies. There's also flirting, which is subtle by design. It's very probable you've a had a few guys flirt with you, but unless you accept that you can be desirable and could be flirted with, you'll never catch it when it happens.

Which brings us to the main issue, because that doesn't seem to be the case. You feel completely unlovable, which is also why you're fantasizing about love. Don't get me wrong, love is one of the most beautiful things, worth big sacrifices both before and after you get into a relationship, but you wouldn't be happy even if you did get the boyfriend of your dreams. You would be constantly insecure, "does he truly love me? How could he love me when I'm so repulsive?"

Now bear with me, it's all actually quite optimistic, but first the harsh truth. If you feel like you're unlovable, then congratulations - you are absolutely correct!

I'm a man, but girl do I get you, I used to be in such a similar situation. And even arguably worse because I isolated myself from others and badly hurt my friendships. But I've rebuilt them since and I know it gets better. But you need to act. It's all within your grasp, you just have to do it.

What to do? I recommend you visit a psychologist. It's a nice start. You may be depressed, do you feel like you are? It'd be good to rule that out or control it if you have it. They may also provide some guidance for your efforts. Yes, efforts. You actually have to want to change yourself, at least your perspective in some cases. It's easier than it sounds, just don't overthink it. I happily recommend the youtube channel healthygamergg, it's mostly for men but there is women-specific advice as well, and recently he talks about relationships, so pretty relevant. And he's an actual psychiatrist, so he's legit.

Some more concrete advice. Keep talking to people. Our brains are hardwired to socialize, you will learn it very well just by doing it more, IN REAL LIFE. Online doesn't count, unless you also regularly meet this person IRL. You can optimize this training, but just doing it more is enough. But more advice won't hurt, so... DON'T OVERTHINK THINK IT OMG. Using intelligence and analyzing social situations is strictly counterproductive, maybe even detrimental. Other parts of the brain are so so much better at this than the circuits for logical reasoning. And also, assume the best. If you see an ambiguous signal, e.g. he cringed at your joke but you're not if it was a laugh-cringe or cringe-cringe, always assume laugh-cringe. Or you touched a guy accidentally on the bus, and even worse, HE moved away quickly? Don't think he's disgusted, but that he's shy and maybe a bit intimidated by your beauty. Don't worry that you'll overinflate your ego this way, it's a concern for later and you'll easily correct it then; for now it'll be hard to think this positively, but just try. It's worth it, it kills social anxiety. And if you want people to like you, express interest. Ask them questions, let them talk about themselves (not like an interrogation, but again, just do it and you'll automagically get better at this if you stop overthinking). It's so much more important than e.g. if you come across as interesting or sth.

It also seems like you're a bit insecure about your appearance, did I get that correctly? I'm getting it here: "I am not blonde, sexy, nice eyes, cute style, pilates girl, home cooking girl, and perfect girl. Or even a black haired baddie, heavy makeup, hot body, good curves, gym mommy, hot voice."

So do you accept your appearance as it is, or do you change it? The question is, why not both? Accept yourself, but recognize that there are parts of you that you don't like and want to change. That's not only relevant for appearance, but personality too (yes, personality can be changed, that's literally the point of therapy for personality disorders). Of course you will never be perfect (no one is), but do you want to be a pilates home-cooking girl? Or a black-haired baddie? Whatever you want, why not just become it? I don't even know you and still I know you can do it because everyone can (if it's just not physically impossible). If you think you'll be more attractive if you lose weight, just lose it. And if we're real, the 25-30% body fat is the most attractive for most men. It's also the healthiest. Small overweight is also fine. Obesity - absolutely not, unless you fancy severe joint and cardiovascular problems. Same for sub-15% - you may lose your period, which is only a symptom of the really bad hormonal stuff that happens then, which leads to very fragile bones, etc.

Also, if this how you dress like in the picture >>154668, you can improve so much so easily! Just google how to dress well and how to find good clothes for cheap, thrift stores etc. Assess your makeup as well. For the vast, vast majority of men, the most attractive makeup is nearly invisible or visible but subtle.

Many things you don't need to change. The less, the easier it is to change the rest. For example, most men find shy women very attractive (shy to a reasonable degree).

Whatever you decide, do sports, eat healthy and sleep well. Don't beat yourself about it, just try to. Regular physical activity and good sleep schedule are stronger antidepressants than actual antidepressants, on *their own each.* Combine them both with eating well, lots of sunlight and socializing, and maybe you won't need to take strong drugs even if you have depression.

And if you learn what men like in women and apply it, you will be so much ahead. Especially because women today are hardly every taught what men want.

Also spend as little time on the Internet as possible, especially on social media. It's so important for mental health. Boredom is good, only then will figure out what you actually want from life. And by *doing/acting*, you'll understand who you actually are as a person.

Phew, that was a lot. It must be a lot because girl, you have issues for sure, and advice like "there's nothing wrong with you, just accept yourself as you are" or "just be more confident" is useless. But it's all within your power to change it.

Of course, it's too hard to change at once. Small steps are essential. Break down this problem into small easy-to-do tasks (not at once, but as you go), and just do them. And yes, you WILL fail - that you must just accept. Growing as a person is a bit like beating addiction - in fact, beating addiction is part of growing. So you will fail, but get back on track asap. And don't fetishize "The Grind(TM)", just try to be better each day.

Again, I recommend seeing a psychologist and the channel healthygamergg. Fingers crossed for you. From my own experience, it does get better.

Last two questions. How old are you? I thought you were a teen, but now I think early 20s? And do you have a good relationship with your parents, or have a close friend?

>>154739

i appriciate, i am 19 and i try to be better everyday i think. I decided to go on a risky way to get through life by choosing things i would never choose, but i guess it is what it is. Aaaaaaand no i do not have parents to support me and i dont have close friends

Grok, do you have a fat ass?

>>154739

Lack of parents sucks so much, sorry to hear that. Are they alive? Who is/was your parent figure then?

If it's any consolation, plenty of people your age are super awkward about relationships. Don't give up on them, you can make it. As understand you're in college? You're not doing half bad in life then.

One thing worries me, that you "decided to choose things you'd never choose." Can you elaborate a bit?

>>154751

i never really had a parent figure, i dont share wiht my parents much. Yeah i am in college and by that i mean that i went on a path that made me worse with each year passing by. But now i try to socialize and act normal, maybe i will start being better? idk. thanks rando. i really appreciate everything you worte.

>>154755

You're very welcome.

I wanted to ask about that path that you say made you worse. It sounds pretty nebulous, but if you don't want to share then no pressure.

So you do maintain some basic relationship with your parents? Maybe try to add some depth to your relationship, confide in them. Out of all people who care about you, they are usually the ones who care the most, and they have much more life experience than you, so they may help.

Unless there's something stopping you? For example, they were abusive to you, or they disowned you, or you never felt loved, or you're just afraid to tell them about your problems, etc. What is it?

>>154760

About the parent i would say that they just stopped caring about my problems and said "u are old enough to manage ur life by yourself". About the choices i have made is probably when i started self harm(burning, cutting, vomiting on purpose). plus i have encountered awful people that suggested me to keep going with this thing

gokugwi

>>154761

Oof, that's rough, both the parents and the self harm. My parents were supportive, though I didn't have the courage to tell them for a long time, and I've only been close to cutting myself, never actually did. Good that you left those miserable people that encouraged it.

Understand that self harm is a defense mechanism, you use it to manage some problem - maybe trauma - that you have. You will not be able to form a healthy relationship if you don't heal from it. Please see a professional. You can get very far with the advice I gave in my wall of text, but since you don't have anyone to support you, it will be veeery hard and you might go in the direction and not notice. In general one needs professional guidance with mental problems as severe as yours. If you need money, you can tell your parents that you're taking your problems in your own hands and want to do it right. Maybe that could work. Or there could be a publically funded option in your area, basically free. Can you promise that you'll check out the psychologists and psychiatrists in your area?

>>154765

(…) in the *WRONG direction and not notice.

>>154765

i cant, but i do not do self harm anymore. thanks for all the advice

>>154783

Alright, good.

You can make your dreams come true. You know what you must do to make it happen. When you're ready, just do it, one small step at a time.

I believe in you and wish you all the best in life, greedybitch

>>154793

thank you hahah