Anon stared at the spellbook skeptically. He didn't believe in magic, but it was such a thick book and on sale for only $9.93! What an unusual price! Normally prices ended in a 9 or a 5. But a 3? He just had to get it. But what was he supposed to do with it now? It was only good as filling on a shelf to make him look smarter. Shrugging, Anon began casually flipping pages.
"Flight, Male Enhancement, Summon Perfect Woman, blah blah blah," he read off spell names tiredly. "Hey! Teleportation." Anon lowered the four-inch thick tome as a sudden spark of inspiration struck. "I could finally go see the Grand Canyon. Maybe even find that Lucky Pebble I lost there when I was 7!"
Motivated, and just a hint excited, Anon flew out of his seat and began the Irish Ceremonial Dance of Spellcasting. Unfortunately, Anon was not Irish nor was he drunk enough to do the dance right. So he just ended up knocking over his coffee table and flopping on the floor in pain.
"Ow, giant shiny sun cheeks!" he cursed, clutching his injured knee. Suddenly, a bright glow consumed the room and the hum of ancient magic filled his ears. "Wait, I didn't name the destination!" Anon protested… even though he really had…
The next thing Anon knew, two fuzzy white orbs were hovering over him, casting a shadow over the land despite each bearing a simple picture of the sun. He blinked slowly up at the dominating presence. Then he stared into the dark crevice created where the two orbs mashed together, their weight unimaginable to someone so small.
Then the sky fell as Princess Celestia carelessly dropped into her throne. With an earth shattering boom, Anon's world became nothing but darkness, sweat, and pain.
"Time for another long day of work," Celestia mumbled to herself, wiggling in her seat to get comfortable.
