/pone/ - My Little Pony

>>328318

>her brow cocks

<"I suggest you forget about all this and go home."

>and, with a sneer

<"I'm sorry if you don't get your ton of money."

"Go home? How long's that other guy been here? More than twenty damn years? I don't think I can go home Lady, I've been on this planet all of a week, and instead of getting settled down somewhere I've spent that whole damn week looking for you. I almost froze my ass out there looking for you. Fuck the money, this is about- this is about… I told motherfucking Twilight Sparkle that I was a detective, but I'm not! I'm a motherfucking… a motherfucking… You know what I did before getting here?"

>you gesture around at the empty palace

"This! Nothing! I'm a motherfucking nothing, but I found you. I found you! Me, and nobody else. I want… I want credit for that. If you won't come with me, I'll… I'll tell the whole damn world exactly where the fuck you are, and all those millions of ponies who motherfucking love you, they'll come find you too. Fuck you!"

>the eyes of the great sun princess smoulder and spark with mounting rage

<"Millions of ponies who love me? I'd been here more than a month before anypony noticed I'd gone."

>the words actually pressurize your throat til you let them loose

"Well, shit, that's your own damn fault. Starswirl… motherfucking Starswirl the Bearded, he's got, he's got hip pains so bad that the meds he's on make him act like he's got motherfucking alzheimers. And you know what the first thing he said to me about you was? He said he hadn't seen you in such a long time. You wanna spend another fifty years up here? He's sure as shit not gonna be around by the time you get back. And-and the look Twilight gets in her eye when she talks about you, and the way Luna still feels so fucking bad about that fight she had with you a thousand years ago, and the random people who would walk up to me and tell me about how motherfucking much they hoped you were okay, and- and- I'm sending every single damn fucking one of them up here to see you whether you like it or motherfucking not!"

>it feels like you're rambling

>but Princess Celestia seems to comprehend every word

>her gaze turns dangerous

<"I can keep you from leaving."

>you smack Celestia's damn fucking teapot off the damn fucking table

"Fine. I've been told I make a really shitty roommate."

>the sun princess snarls

<"Then go! You think this is the only place I can go to live in peace? I know hundreds of spots like this. There will be no sign I was ever here by the time you reach Canterlot!"

"Well that's fine! Because before I get to Canterlot I'm gonna go to your shitty forest castle and take a big piss all over your secret room!"

<"Get out!"

"I'm gone, bitch!"

>you head over to the divan by the fireplace

>throw on your giant yak coat

>stick the end of one of your cigarettes into the tall flames

>and stride out the great double doors at the end of the hall with it

>>328319

>once again, making this trek on foot is a really bad idea

>but you kind of already said you were leaving

>shit

>a long drag from the cigarette does nothing to soothe your nerves

>now fucking what?

>where do you go?

>it's only just sunk in today that you're probably never seeing home again

>and Twilight's probably not gonna believe what happened when you tell her

>which means not only do you not get that house and money

>you probably also can't sleep in the castle anymore

>what the hell are you gonna do

>another deep, nicotine-laden breath fails to provide any answers

"Damnit."

>you start walking in the direction you think is south

>fuck it, maybe you can just disappear somewhere too

>grow a beard and spend the rest of your life shagging yaks or something

>you don't know

>you're just heading south

>somewhere overhead, a low moan rattles through the sky

>looking up, you behold what appears to be a ghostly horse prancing frantically across the sky

>Luna said something about some sort of magical wind creature still haunting these parts, didn't she?

>creepy fucking place, you'll be glad to get away from it

>hell, and now it's snowing

>you pick up the pace

<"Anonymous."

>you stop

<"Come inside, I don't much need you freezing to death on my very doorstep."

"I thought you were leaving this shithole."

<"And I thought you said I was the proud one. Come."

>you're lifted off your feet and whisked backward through the air

>shortly, you're set back down on the jade floor of the ancient hall

"Fine. I'm gone when the snow stops though."

<"The snow won't stop until-"

>she sighs

<"Nevermind."

>she sits down on the floor

>outside, the wind howls

>inside, the banners on the wall flutter a bit faster

>and a few flakes of snow find their way in on the wind

>they don't last very long in the fire-heated hall

>most of them vanish before they have a chance to reach your head

"What are you staring at me for?"

<"That thing in your mouth. What is it?"

"This? It's a cigarette. Lets me breathe in smoke."

>Celestia blinks

<"That can't taste very good."

"Tastes terrible. Want one?"

<"I'll try one."

"Here. Just light that end on fire. There. Now just, yeah, that's it."

>Princess Celestia takes her first drag like she's been chain-smoking for decades

>no coughing, no sputtering, not even a funny look on her face

>then she takes her second

<"That does taste terrible. I see the appeal."

>>328320

>outside, the wind drops to a low rustle

<"I think I was angry with you for noticing."

"Hm?"

<"The last time somepony noticed I was… proud, it was my sister. I didn't get to see her for quite a long time afterwards."

>you nod

"Time before that, you got handed your own kingdom."

>Celestia hums

<"But the first time it happened, I was made to say 'please.'"

"How many times has Starswirl made you relive that?"

<"Too many."

>outside, the wind grows silent

"Sounds like the snow's over."

<"Yes."

"I'll get going then. Unless you think it'll come back."

<"It won't."

"All right. See you."

>with one motion, you thrust open the doors and stride outside

>the snow only lasted a few minutes, and there's not much of it on the ground

>the cold, dry grass rustles loudly beneath your steps

>you're pretending not to hear the rustling steps just behind you

<"Anon. Wait."

"Hm?"

<"What are you going to tell ponies?"

"I dunno. I found you, you're safe, but you're not ready to come back yet."

>you turn around and look at her

"Unless you are now."

>she frowns

<"The first time I was here, I was happy to occupy myself with research and magic practice. Now, I can't quite seem to focus on things like that."

>a small, fluttering shape overhead catches your eye

<"You could say that I'm… bored here."

>the shape is one last snowflake, shining like platinum in the pale sunlight

<"I'm still not sure what to do with retirement, but for now- oh!"

>the lone snowflake lands on Celestia's nose

>her eyes cross as she looks at it

>and she smiles

<"I suppose I'll go home for a while."

The End

>>328321

And the obligatory pastebin link, on the off-chance anyone wants to read it again.

https://pastebin.com/pJkzNBzH

Rolled 7, 10, 8, 7 = 32 (4d10)

Time to write the poney shit, rolling on the first image.

Rolled 2, 10, 4, 2 = 18 (4d10)

>>328366

>Spike, background pony, mystery, pony vs nature

I'll give it a shot I guess.

>>328367

shit forgot to clear out dice

>>328367

Actually that's not a bad roll. I'll make my background pony Applejack heh and maybe incorporate some elements of voyage and return into the plot.

>>328373

>night time

>the first night

>Applejack offered to stand watch the entire night

>however, you've just been woken up by the sound of her snores

>so you guess it's your turn to stand watch

>she's a weirdly loud snorer

>you sit up

>it's dark

>you've read that dragons have excellent night vision

>you've also read that they don't develop this til their adolescence

>so, you know, their thirties at the soonest

>it's really dark

>it's funny, almost

>it's hard to imagine anything more frightening than a dragon in the dark

>in a way, you're the scariest thing out here

>you might be a little on the young side, but you're no creme puff

>you've got a thick hide

>sharp claws

>relatively big teeth

>in the distance, something rustles

>you flinch violently

>okay, so you're a little bit scared

>because what you don't have is night vision

>it's really, really dark

>so dark

>no matter how long you stare into it, your eyes just won't adjust

>you're sweating a little

>it wouldn't hurt to have a little light, would it?

>you let out a small stream of fire from your mouth

>for an instant, the clearing is bathed in emerald light

>it's long enough for you to spot a decent stick nearby

>you smile as you grab it

>firey breath is one thing you've got that probably no other monster in the Everfree's got

>no, wait, scratch that

>there are dragons living here

>big dragons

>real dragons

>didn't Twilight tell you that you're not a real dragon just the other day?

>okay, no, not thinking about that now

>in the distance, a pair of eyes opens

>just as green as your flame, and just as bright

>quickly, you light the end of your stick on fire

>in the light of your makeshift torch, the eyes vanish

>and Applejack goes on snoring

>you sigh

>it's gonna be a long night

>>328374

>day two

>it was a long night

<"Who-wha-wher-wh-!"

>no sooner than she's awake, Applejack snaps to a mortified attention

"Morning, sleepyhead."

>she groans

<"I take it I didn't stand the watch all night."

"It's fine. I woke up."

<"You stayed up?"

"Yeah."

>she looks down

<"I don't like that?"

"Hm?"

<"Young folks oughtta get their rest."

"I'm old enough."

<"Besides, there's thing in these parts of the woods…"

"Applejack?"

<"Hm?"

"It was fine. Really."

>she blinks

<"All right. I trust you, Spike."

"I don't see why you wouldn't."

<"You're right. Forget about it."

>Applejack glances around the forest canopy, frowning

<"All right, then. Right this way."

>the day is surprisingly uneventful

>no monsters

>no gorges

>no rivers

>not even any big rocks, really

>you wonder if Applejack might have been wrong

>maybe this is just the Whitetail Woods

>but if she was wrong about the forest, couldn't she have been wrong about how deep you are in it?

>that's not something you want to believe right now

>besides, what about those eyes from last night?

>probably a timber wolf, right?

>and timber wolves don't live in the Whitetail

>right?

<"Hold on now, Spike."

"Hm?"

<"We'll break here for lunch."

"Uh, where's lunch at?"

<"Right here."

>Applejack plucks a hoofful of dandelions from the ground and munches on them

"What do I eat?"

<"Don't you eat rocks?"

"I eat gems."

<"Same thing."

>is it?

>you scour the ground for a rock of some kind

>finally, you find one about the size of a bit

>and proceed to nearly chip a tooth on it

"No. It is not."

>Applejack tosses you a clump from her growing pile of Everfree salad

>not your favorite

>but it should be edible

"Thanks."

>you eat your grass in silence for a while

<"Say, Spike."

"Hm?"

<"Does it seem like…"

"What?"

<"Does it seem like we ain't going anywhere?"

>you glance up

>and shrug

"I dunno. All these trees look the same to me."

<"But doesn't this look sort of like the spot we woke up in?"

"I don't… think so?"

>Applejack smiles

<"You're right, you're right. It's fine. Probably."

"Okay?"

>Applejack frowns

<"But what were you doing before you woke up here?"

"Uh…"

>fighting with Twilight

"Talking with Twilight?"

<"Friendly-like talking?"

"Uh… No?"

<"Okay. Okay. Well, I reckon we've stayed long enough. Let's get a move on."

"Applejack?"

<"Hm?"

"Do you know something?"

<"No, no. I don't know anything. Not really, anyway."

"Applejack."

<"What?"

"You're a terrible liar."

<"So what? Let's go."

>>328380

>night two

>true to her word, Applejack nudges you awake in the dark forest

>her voice comes from somewhere nearby in the sea of pitch black

<"All right, that was most of the night. You shouldn't have to be up too long now."

"Thanks."

<"Now if you see anything weird, you come let me know, you hear?"

>you sit up

"I thought I saw a timber wolf last night. Does that count?"

<"A timber wolf?"

"Yeah."

<"You saw it? As in, you really saw it?"

"I saw its eyes. You know, all shiny and green."

>a pause

<"I don't think there are timber wolves in this part of the woods."

"Why not?"

>another pause

<"Never mind that. Let me know if you see any more… timber wolves, you hear?"

"Applejack."

<"Hm?"

"What is it you're not telling me?"

>a silence

"You said you trusted me."

>a sigh

<"I know. I do. And you got a right to know. It's just… I don't know how to say it."

"Say what?"

<"I just need some time to get my thoughts together. We can talk about it tomorrow."

>silence

>absolute, utter silence

>it's strange, when you think about it

>a forest, even a weird forest like the Everfree, should be full of sound at night

>bugs

>birds

>wind

>but tonight, there's just nothing

>a weird thought comes into your mind

>no sound

>no sight

>maybe this is sort of what it's like to not exist

>you told Twilight you wished that she didn't exist just the other day

>you sigh

"It's weird how a fight over chores can get so nasty."

<"It's not too weird. Happens to me all the time on the farm."

>you start

"You're still awake?"

<"Not for too much longer, I hope."

"You should get some sleep."

<"So you had a fight with Twilight?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

>a pause

<"You're right. I don't wanna talk about it either."

>a yawn

<"It's just… I think something like this has happened to me before…"

"What?"

>and in the dark, silent forest

>the silence is broken by Applejack's snores

>you sigh

>and start looking for a stick to set on fire

>>328381

>day 3

>when the lighting in the campsite is more gray than green, you put out the fire

>Applejack rolls over and sits up not long after

>for a while she doesn't say anything

>just looks down and frowns

>then she nods

<"All right. I said this sort of thing had happened to me before already, right?

"Yeah."

<"You got into a fight the other day?"

"Uh huh."

<"Probably went to bed that night feeling real bad?"

>you blink

"Well, sure."

<"Not like sorry, but just mad?"

"What are you getting at?"

<"You did, didn't you?"

"Okay, sure, fine, I did. So what?"

<"So did I. The other day, and when I was about your age."

"And you woke up here?"

>she nods

<"I got out all right, but it was the scariest thing I'd ever done."

"Pure woodsmare's instinct."

>she smiles

<"Ain't no such thing, sugarcube. But it is a… feeling of some sort."

"What kind of feeling?"

<"The kind of feeling where you're so scared and you miss your family so bad that you walk through a dark forest for three days and three nights without stopping."

"That kind of feeling?"

<"Well, I'm not so scared this time around, but it still feels like I'm moving toward what I want more than anything else in the whole world. It's that kind of feeling."

"And you think that kind of feeling is enough to get us home?"

<"I thought so, but there's one thing that's worrying me."

"What?"

<"This is the same clearing we woke up in yesterday. And the day before that."

"You're sure?"

<"I'm sure."

"Maybe we're just going in circles?"

<"I don't think so. I think it's some kind of magic."

"Magic?"

<"Spike, the thing I saw when I was little, the thing that scared me so bad I kept moving for three days straight… It had bright green eyes, but it wasn't a timber wolf."

>something tenses in your chest

"I don't think I want to know what it was."

<"It was something that looked like my own big brother…"

>you swallow

<"… Who I'd fought with just the day before."

>you try to chuckle

"Oh, come on. You're just trying to scare me."

<"I am trying to scare you. Because I think you're the reason we ain't going nowhere."

>you cough

"Well… what makes you say that?"

<"Spike. Do you miss Twilight?"

>>328383

>night 3

>for the umpteenth time, you roll over in the dark

>do you miss Twilight?

>should you?

>so soon after the fight, it's easy to lie here and think about all the bad times you've had with her

>but there were good times too

>weren't there?

>it's harder to think of those

>how long have you been awake like this?

>it's obvious you're not going to get any sleep

>you sit up

"Hey Applejack."

>she doesn't respond

>but you figure she's looking at you now

"Why don't you go to sleep now? I'll get the rest of the night."

>but in the darkness

>there is silence

"Applejack?"

>you let loose a quick jet of flame

>you didn't spot her, but you did notice a nice stick

>you pick it up and light it

"Applejack?"

>but the clearing

>is empty

>dragons have an excellent sense of smell, don't they?

>you take a deep breath

>but if you ever knew Applejack's scent, you don't smell anything like it now

>as you wander about the clearing, you spot something shining in the dirt

>you poke it with a claw and sniff it

>it's water

>it's kind of salty, but it doesn't smell bad like sweat

>a tear, maybe?

>maybe that whole 'excellent sense of smell' thing is just for grown-up dragons

>like the night vision

>and Twilight's respect

>you shake your head

>and in the eerie glow of the green torch

>you are alone

>>328386

>alone

>alone in the woods

>how long have you been alone here for?

>your stick is almost burnt out, and the flames are licking your claws

>it doesn't hurt

>but this never happened on any of the other nights

>shouldn't the Sun have come up by now?

>why is it still dark out?

>the flame begins to sputter

>there's no more wood for it to burn beyond what's in your grasp

>you drop the stick

>it hits the dirt, burnt end first

>the clearing goes dark

>perfect

>no nobody can see what happens next

>nobody sees you when you take a seat on the ground

>or when you flop down onto your back

>or when, for some reason, your face gets wet

>only baby dragons cry

>a real dragon could have flown away by now

>a real dragon could have burned down the whole forest on his way out

>only a baby dragon would sit here like this

>only a baby could feel so helpless

>"Spike?"

>you sit up

>that was her voice

>and there in the woods

>is a pair of bright green eyes

>no, it's not a timber wolf

>it never was

>you can see that now

>those eyes are too big

>too close together

>only a pony has eyes like that

>only a pony's eyes don't glow

>"Spike?"

>you leap to your feet

>turn around

>and run in a straight line

>you stumble over roots

>smack into branches

>get caught in thick brush

>but it doesn't matter

>because you know you're running straight toward the thing you want most right now

>and you want, more than anything, to be home again

>>328388

>in the darkness, you stumble and fall

>crashing through thick brush of some kind, you close your eyes

>and when you open them, it is no longer dark

>you're looking at a wood floor in a brightly-lit room

>"Spike! You're home!"

>you look up

>the door to the library hangs open behind you

>Twilight and Applejack stand smiling before you

>was all that some kind of weird dream then?

>Applejack winks at you

>no, probably not a dream then

"Yeah, I… guess I am."

>you stand up

>"I'm sorry, Spike. I should have gone after you when you stormed out an hour ago and tried to apologize, but I was too mad to."

"An hour ago?"

>Applejack shrugs

>"Spike, I'm sorry for saying those things to you."

"I'm sorry too, Twilight."

>you walk over to her

>and wrap your claws around one of her legs

"I'm just glad I got to see you again."

All right, there's that.

And the pastebin: https://pastebin.com/ZM1LQa58

This honestly might be my last horsetext. Not a fantastic note to end on, but whatever. See you, space horsefuckers.

>>328322

>>328389

thanks for the greens and the pastebin link.

>>328399

Thanks for the (You). It's nice to still get those on /pone/.

>>328400

If you haven't already done so, posting bitter tea will most likely get more attention on the halfchan AIE threads.

>>328406

I'm sure it would, but I haven't posted on cuckchan since 2014 and I just can't bring myself to go back. Anyway it's not so much that the board is dead that I want to move on from greentexts. It's more that I've been getting into regular writing, and have actually had a couple short stories published by a certain e-zine already. I've got maybe three ideas for horsetexts sitting in my brain, but it feels like a better use of my writefag instinct to work on the multitude of ideas for regular stories I've got. Haven't made any money off of it yet, but who knows? Maybe someday you'll be reading some random shit and stumble across a cryptic /pone/ reference.

>>328410

ah, well best of luck in moving up in the world

>>328457

I was never really interested in FoE, but I wish you luck regardless. The Conversion Bureau is pure cringe though.

>>328487

9,900 words as of last night. Anybody else writing pony? Anypony at all writing for NaNoWriMo?

>>328522

14,285 right now mate, cheers.

>day one on Earth

>you're a random background pegasus pony

>you found yourself in a strange forest that lacks the more exotic hazards of the Everfree Forest

>it's still a deep dark forest

>but you were a Filly Scout

>and you remember the survival classes

>you can look up and see blue sky in gaps between trees

>something's moving in the sky, high and fast enough to leave a contrail

>the ground is largely level but you start finding your way downhill

>you are looking for water, running water

>because you know that if you follow it far enough you'll find other ponies

>ponies like to build houses and towns near streams and rivers

>unexpectedly you come over the crest of a hill and see pavement at the bottom

>you fly down and see a paved road

>then in a flash of light a magical portal appears

>a purple unicorn is waving at you from it

>is that Twilight Sparkle?

>"Quick, follow me! No time to explain!"

>and you follow her through the portal

>suddenly you're in Ponyville, just outside the Treebrary

"What happened?"

>she telekinetically floats over a mug of tea for you

>"That was another world."

"It was? It looked a lot like the Everfree Forest."

>"That world has forests, yes. It's a whole world, as big as ours."

"That's a lot to take in. Is it inhabited? Someone must have built that paved road running through the valley."

>she winces

>"Yes, it is."

"But?"

>"That world is under Royal interdict. Travel to or from it is forbidden."

"Why?"

>"The inhabitants are intelligent and warlike. Some of their nation-states are technologically highly advanced, very aggressive and there's no telling what they might have done to you."

"Really?"

>"As individuals they're not bad, or evil, for the most partthough they have the same range of personalities we do, and psychologically they're a lot like us. As individuals. Their governments, thoughimagine the old Griffonreich, but with science we can barely comprehend."

"Ah."

>"More tea?"

"Sure."

it was an adventurous day

>>328576

>I never watched past season 5. Are 6-9 worth it?

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, and I take no responsibility if people start drama about it here, but: no. The only seasons worth watching in the aggregate are the ones where Lauren Faust still worked on the show herself, 1 and 2. S3 gave us Queen Chrysalis, a wonderful villain with very striking character design, but nothing after "A Canterlot Wedding" rises above mediocre and S4-S9 are slow descent into flanderization, constant retcons and contradictions, courtesy of Hasbro's revolving-door scriptwriting office, filled with fresh-faced young grads from CalArts with the ink still wet on their diplomas, who never read the show bible and never watched an episode of the show before writing one or two, then quitting to be replaced by another. Good characters, beautiful animation, amazing voice acting, and a fascinating setting, are all wasted, culminating in a series finale built around bizarrely out-of-character behavior from characters whose personalities had been more or less established for years.

Watch up to the second episode of "A Canterlot Wedding" and pretend nothing else exists. That's my advice.

>>328244

>Shit damn it you niggers let the writefag thread die while I was gone.

My good sir, every bit of that goes against the spirit of MLP FIM.

Twilight sparkle organised a gettogether with all your friends.

Noone showed up, yet all your friends were at the party

Anyone else doing the pastejam on ponepaste?

https://ponepaste.org/event

The premise is you write a greentext that's exactly 250 lines and post it to ponepaste. Uploaded my entry a few days ago. It'd be funny if the winner was someone who hasn't posted on /mlp/ in 7 years.

Oh hey look at that the captcha finally works.

>once there was a nigger pony

>he spent all his money on watermelon and fried chicken

>then he overdosed on fentanyl and died

>the end

>>328410

Wow, I've gotten almost nothing written since making this post. Maybe I should go ahead and write that autistic magnum opus that I should have posted to /gtpone/ two years ago.

Hi. Idk if anyone here remembers this, but I'm the fag who hijacked the suicide thread in 2015 and turned it into a big autistic greentext. And then I wrote a bigger and more autistic sequel to it on /gtpone/, which of course no longer exists. I have written a threequel which is much more autistic but also much shorter. I posted it on ponepaste already and I'm just going to link to it in this thread.

https://ponepaste.org/9354

There it is, that's the story. The ponepaste there has links to the first and second stories right up at the top. You might remember the first one.

I'd also like to say that if you're an old /pone/ writefriend lurking the board for memories' sake, you should really migrate your old greentexts to ponepaste. As far as I can tell I'm the only one who's done so, and pastebin has really cracked down on pony stories, to the point where they don't show up in the search, you can't publicly post new ones, and a bunch of old ones have already been forcibly set to private. I know a couple chapters from the old Red CYOA are missing due to this.

Anyway, that's all. I'll see you /pone/rs in Equestria some day.

>>329039

I only have the vaguest memory, and it mostly doesn't sound like something I would read.

That's the best thing most say about my writing; the rest say I'm a pile of filth and the character spew on the screen is trash that they're trying to burn off their retinas by reading something healthy because it has more sex and swear words that what I wrote down.

Except this one time. Somebody in /gtpone/ said "you really set a tone with this one"

Which I think was a compliment.

I don't know if I have a ponerpaste account or not, actually. But it won't affect me because my pastes are unlisted anyway. Because I wouldn't want to accidentally burn somepony's cornea trying to damage their retina with recycled photons.

So, this >GT is in the style of a romance novel, and keeps switching POV characters, between the male and female chars.

https://pastebin.com/ggmSn3Am

A hundred years later, they officially break up

>https://pastebin.com/wBVkfqEs

all from the mare's perspective.

Crap. I've probably already posted these somewhere during the long, lonely years this thread has been here.

I'd post my newer stuff, FoE or the experimental not-pony equine stuff, but I honestly don't think anypony here cares, so I expect I won't.

>>329042

Huh, I thought I lurked /gtpone/ fairly regularly, but I don't remember any stories about beer pones.