No.15505
>be me
>16 years old and have been trying to do nofap for a year and a half
>everytime I relapse on a streak my addiction gets worse
>giving up
I have thus decided to create a journal of which to put upon my progress of my new attempt. I WILL update this everyday until I have relapsed. I have tried everything from hypnosis, porn blockers, no computer, and self harm. If this fails, I guess i'll just slump deeper onto my hatred of myself for lacking control.
Day 1
____________________________
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No.15507
>>15505
>Siege pic
>16
Ofc you are
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No.15514
>DAY 2
I finished today's slog that is know as life. I Was able to read about 50 pages of For My Legionaries, during free time at school. My reading was outside so it should help with my vitamin D development. My eyes are really sensitive to sun, if anyone could answer, please do. do your eyes get used to sunlight?
On the buss ride home I initially was just going to meditate for five minutes, but instead I got very deep into meditation. It was inexplicable, I was able to visualize inside my head not just 3 dimensional objects, but also moving 3 dimensional objects. The visualization was incredibly fun, I ended up spending the 30 or so minutes left on my ride home meditating.
When I got home urges kicked in badly, lucky me though, I recently joined a new HOI4 team so that really helped distract me. Afterwords I exercised; I did as many vertical push ups as possible, then did planks till I couldn't anymore.
I'm about to watch a episode of battle star galactica then go to bed. I hope everyone else had a rad day today.
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No.15515
>15507
what's wrong with Siege?
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No.15516
I'll just leave this here…
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No.15525
>16
>edgy siege shit
Perhaps you should focus on fixing yourself before nuking Israel?
Good luck with the nofap, lad.
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No.15535
>>15525
isn't the whole point of nofap to better yourself though, that is what I've been focused on.
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No.15537
>day 3
Today is the day before prom. I felt so alone as all my friends were gone doing degenerate garbage with their dates.
It's not like I've haven't tried to get a date, since the beginning of the school year, I've lost 30 pound, making me 128 pounds.
I have though got back up to 134 since I've started lifting a month back though. I even tried to ask two females out, alas my
dreams have been squandered as they said no. I'm in agony today, constantly saddened; only now does disdain and sorrow fill my heart.
Today also marks my two weeks of no phone. Sadly though whilst meditating I've come to a sad conclusion, if my only value is that of which I give to society, and society is doomed, do I have no reason to live? Do I have no value?
Anyways I spent about 40 minutes outside walking my dog. Fun would be a word to describe it, it was quiet, just me and my thought. Day 3 end.
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No.15553
>>15537
Guess you'll have to make a better society then.
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No.15554
>>15537
Wew lad, I remember when I was a 16 year old edgelord such as yourself I asked out one of the special ed girls to prom and got turned down. Don't worry too much about it; when you join the adult world your life will suck so much that you won't care about high school fuck ups anymore.
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No.15716
>>15514
You must have blue eyes or you simply aren't accustomed to such environment.
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No.17682
I am pretty sure that this is an elaborate LARP by some 40-ish basement dwelling shitposter, but anyways.
At 16, you will have your libido at an all time high. That is just part of puberty, your hormones are playing crazy. You musn't therefore be to harsh to yourself, it is an uphill battle for all of us but especially for youths your age. You will see that with age comes more self control. I wish you the best on your path.
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No.17683
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No.17693
>>15515
HOLY SHIT IT'S GLOWING SO MUCH!
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No.17891
Every time you fail, learn what you did wrong so that you can do better next time. Meditation will raise your MP (willpower) capacity, so I would suggest starting a habit of that before starting nofap.
just gonna leave this here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBq-EPieRwU (a video on the mental process you're fighting against)
https://easypeasymethod.org/ (good book on not touching yourself)
https://discord.gg/76VhgRNM (personal server)
https://discord.gg/VUTPReaH (active nofap community)
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No.17911
>>15515
siege is glowshit. a backwards swastika means bad luck btw
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