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50% More Joke Bans

File: 1452460475071.jpg (24.08 KB,320x320,1:1,12135345_871274819636252_1….jpg)

 No.2453 [View All]

>Asgore "If they're under 11, send them to heaven" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they do show and tell, send them to hell" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they wear a striped shirt, make them hurt" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they're too young to breed, make them bleed" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Underages belong in cages" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Children's souls are superb when I make them bite the curb" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Mass graves for when brats misbehave" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Killing kids for the highest bids" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Giving monsters jobs by funding the lynch mob" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Humans are vile and don't deserve a trial" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Napalm bombs drop on the schoolbus stop" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they're not pubescent yet, shove a trident through their head" Dreemurr

>Asgore "This height or below to give me your soul" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they watch cartoons, they get the harpoon" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Never quit slaughtering the kid" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Never stop until the last child drops" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Making sweets out of blood of the kids" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If you speak a human tongue you are going to be hung" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Clearing out the school in one afternoon" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Find a kid to slay to start off the day" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Tea is most mild with some tears of a child" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Dinner is finer with the meat of a minor" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If their age is one digit, bury the midget" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they have determination, wipe out their entire nation" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they're yet to go to school, you can never be too cruel" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they go to kindergarten, they'll push daisies in my garden" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they ain't got molars, it's not immoral" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Cutting down kids like uprooting weeds" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Get rid of the kid" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Once they hit the flowers they're dead in hours" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Crueler to the pre-schooler" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Pipsqueak killstreak" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Youth euthanizer" Dreemurr

11 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.2505

>>2493

they do build up the fight over the course of the entire game

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 No.2518

>>2493

You have to fight him in the Neutral run, but in Pacifist Toriel interrupts before you even take a single action either way.

>>2505

I would understand this if the fight paid off, but it's not even difficult, especially at that stage of the game when you have the strongest armor and more healing items than you know what to do with. I would say it's definitely easier than Undyne or Flowey, possibly even easier than Mettaton. I only died a shitton against him because I thought he'd allow me to spare him if the "You tell Asgore he has already killed you X times" rose high enough; after I figured out I needed to kill him, it only took a couple more attempts. And like I said, he has very little action or dialogue, just barely enough to determine that he's not actually fighting you seriously because he's waiting for you to kill him.

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 No.2879

File: 1453515208031.png (625 B,30x54,5:9,undyne.png)

>Implying Undyne didn't kill all those kids

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 No.2880

File: 1453516387036.png (88.79 KB,408x534,68:89,1445821816076.png)

>>2879

Hey don't give her ALL the credit.

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 No.2908

File: 1453540708368.png (350.55 KB,689x467,689:467,visiting chara's school.png)

>>2880

>>2880

Now that you think about it, Undyne and sans are two of the toughest and strongest monsters in the game. If a monster kill a human, do they gain LV too?

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 No.2911

>>2908

Considering that Undyne normally has an HP of 1500, she'd have had to kill a SHITTON of she started at 20 like Frisk; though maybe killing humans gives a lot more HP than does slaughtering the entire Underground?

Sans only has an HP of 1, though. I doubt he's ever killed anyone if we're using that metric.

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 No.2916

>>2911

sans would have to be bordering on LV 0 to have only 1 HP, so monsters probably don't gain LV

papyrus also has far more health than someone who's LV 1 has any right to have (he is, of course, too innocent to kill anyone)

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 No.2924

>Asgore "I'll Fix Yah With Asphyxia" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Toddler Terrorizer" Dreemurr

>Asgore "Six Years Or Younger Go Six Feet Under" Dreemurr

>>2493

On a technical level, it's supposed to be subversion of expectations. On a written level, it isn't a surprise at all. In the beginning the Froggits even say sparing someone is just saying you won't fight them now, and whittling a monster's health down and trying to spare them then was a tactic.

>>2483

Extremely underdeveloped. He served as a lightningrod for circumstances beyond his control, and was abandoned by his wife when he needed her most.

The choices he had were all awful, there was no solution avaliable to them that wouldn't have been wrong at some level.

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 No.2964

File: 1453731590833.gif (330.73 KB,720x405,16:9,what is LOVE.gif)

>>2911

They could have also followed standard RPG convention of just naturally being at a higher level without having to grind for it like the player does

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 No.3210

butts

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 No.3229

>>2493

You can spare most enemies in the game by fighting them until they're weak then sparing them, rather than going through the act menu.

A froggit even tells you that at the start of the game.

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 No.3250

>>2924

>Asgore "Major Burns for Minors" Dreemur

I wish Asgore had more development and proper redemption in TP

I seriously didn't expect to like as a character this much

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 No.3253

File: 1454686551241.png (23.42 KB,494x539,494:539,putting the gore in asgore.png)

>Asgore "As soon as they're born, give them the horns" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they're wet behind the ears, put them on spears" Dreemurr

>Asgore "From the cradle to the grave - quickly" Dreemurr

>Asgore "When the child gets whiny, ram a spear up its hiney" Dreemurr

>Asgore "If they're under eight, time to exterminate" Dreemurr

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 No.3257

File: 1454694058145-0.png (51.23 KB,320x301,320:301,asgore 44.png)

File: 1454694058201-1.jpg (1.11 MB,1280x3366,640:1683,asgore 51.jpg)

File: 1454694058202-2.png (240.37 KB,500x667,500:667,asgore 20.png)

This is now a big guy appreciation thread.

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 No.3258

File: 1454695835224-0.png (718.41 KB,1149x1094,1149:1094,1446851767374-1.png)

File: 1454695835225-1.gif (1.12 MB,1280x1586,640:793,hug the goatdad.gif)

File: 1454695835225-2.jpg (809.55 KB,1280x3710,128:371,1450122091533.jpg)

File: 1454695835225-3.png (862.17 KB,890x2700,89:270,1447710629177.png)

>>3257

For you

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 No.3259

File: 1454698209242-0.jpg (113.88 KB,586x512,293:256,do not bully this goat.jpg)

File: 1454698209242-1.png (357.45 KB,743x1000,743:1000,asgore 5.png)

File: 1454698209243-2.jpg (188.34 KB,1024x1517,1024:1517,asgore 42.jpg)

File: 1454698209251-3.gif (22.34 KB,356x426,178:213,asgore papers.gif)

>>3258

>tfw you will never hang out with a 7 foot tall monster king

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 No.3502

>>2916

Where exactly does it say Sans has only 1 HP?

Having only 1 HP he'd be at risk of dying from getting tapped on the shoulder

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 No.3505

>>3502

You can "check" him during the fight, and it's also in the wiki.

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 No.3508

I'd say that "rose" describes Asgore pretty well :^)

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 No.3522

File: 1456123995390.jpg (272.55 KB,600x781,600:781,Gacy-Pogo-the-Clownm-haunt….jpg)

Asgore "Pogo the Clown of the Underground" Dreemurr

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 No.3529

>>3505

Checking him only shows he has 1 atk and 1 def, I thought?

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 No.3686

File: 1456700813371.jpg (36.07 KB,400x266,200:133,shitty art from frisk's pe….jpg)

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 No.3743

I wonder if this is the thread that really got the DSP spammer going, seeing as he can't be older than 12

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 No.3792

>Asgore "The ring of the school bell is the trumpet of Hell" Dreemurr

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 No.4024

File: 1457455105719.png (198.56 KB,700x1500,7:15,Asgore in a nutshell.png)

>>2483

Neither. We learned enough about him.

Toriel explains that he could have crossed the barrier if he absorbed 1 human soul and negotiated with humans, but he decided to harvest the souls of children whenever they happened to fall because he's a pussy.

She doesn't respect him anymore, he's a beta

that's going to be cucked by Sans

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 No.4025

File: 1457462705546.jpg (176.19 KB,1191x670,1191:670,asgore_dreemurr___bergentr….jpg)

It's fair to say that Asgore was holding back in his battle - if he weren't, then he'd be able to look Frisk in the eye. Can you imagine how strong he'd be if he went all out?

Do you think he ever did during the war?

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 No.4028

>>4025

Both Asgore and Toriel have 80 ATK and 80 DEF they could've annihilated at least one person when not holding back, and Papyrus would probably be the most powerful if he wanted. Wouldn't matter if he went all out because humans organized an army against him. Killing Toriel should've resulted in facing pissed off Asgore as a consequence.

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 No.4030

>>4028

Doesn't matter since humans win every war every time without fail

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 No.4032

>>4024

>negotiated

You mean kill six more people.

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 No.4034

>>4032

He could've at least killed people who deserved it, but he chose children

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 No.4035

>>4034

He "chose" whoever wondered in. We also have no knowledge of the ages of the rest, or even the identities of their killers.

I blame the parents!

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 No.4038

>>4034

I forget where the rumor that all the rest were children came from (at least a couple of them were, or Toriel wouldn't act the way she did toward Frisk), but it's not in canon. I think Toby tweeted something to that effect when asked, but personally I don't think Word of God means a fucking thing. If it's not in the actual published content, it's not canon.

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 No.4047

File: 1457505891869.jpg (Spoiler Image,748.01 KB,906x1280,453:640,ef3688e84c515ec9a839a3df43….jpg)

( ° ʖ °)

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 No.4048

>>4038

Toby rarely clears up headcanon like that, he completely decimated all arguments about it. I can't think of what else he debunked except his preference for not wanting Sans shipped with anyone.

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 No.4060

File: 1457563200201.png (24.7 KB,499x468,499:468,it says you're a heretic.png)

>>4047

Unacceptable

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 No.4925

I bet Asgore is jacking off hard right now to the new pics of Toriel drawn by sindoll.

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 No.4928

>>4925

who?

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 No.4933

>>4928

sindoll

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 No.4934

>>4933

Lewd or SFW

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 No.4936

>>4934

Sindoll is lewd.

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 No.4937

>>4936

The momgoat is not for lewd

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 No.4938

>>4937

I'm not him, I was just answering you.

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 No.4939

>>4938

I'm not him either.

I'm just pointing out the obvious.

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 No.4940

File: 1464149475688.jpg (26.37 KB,720x481,720:481,baa.jpg)

>>4939

Don't make me have to suck you dick.

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 No.4943

File: 1464193373992.gif (1.99 MB,395x313,395:313,1459203977069.gif)

>>4936

>lewd

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 No.5860

File: fda4d2c561a933d⋯.jpg (289.36 KB,2000x1414,1000:707,bergentruckung.jpg)

>Monsters' physical states are much more influenced by emotions

>They're more damaged by the intent of an attack than by its actual force

>Hence, in a state of despair, monsters can become unhealthy and very much die

>Asgore restoring the underground's hope by declaring war against humanity saved many monsters just in of itself

>Meanwhile, Asgore suffers emotional baggage throughout the story

>His children die tragically

>He regrets his actions

>His wife leaves him, cursing his name

>He kills human after human despite his own peaceful desires, leaving him sick

>He can't even look Frisk in the eye

>Is still strong enough to be one of the final bosses

Love him or hate him, this guy is fucking tough

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 No.5904

>>2453

>Asgore "This height or below to give me your soul" Dreemurr

Damn, he's going to have to fight sans

>Asgore "If they watch cartoons, they get the harpoon" Dreemurr

and Undyne

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 No.5905

>>5860

The despair may not actually kill them, except maybe at their own hand.

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 No.5906

File: b2354dc72f2d582⋯.png (62.68 KB,483x417,161:139,1463115664923.png)

>>5904

And Alphys. Especially Alphys.

>Asgore declares anime illegal and punishable by death

Best king ever

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 No.5913

File: 9fdcdc551adc0c5⋯.png (10.46 KB,372x310,6:5,did i do the right thing.png)

>>5905

Despair can't be good for their health, though. Depression weighs heavily on most humans and we don't depend on our emotions nearly as much as monsters do. Many monsters would probably be like an unhinged pole, with one faint breeze ready to knock them over.

Unless they're the goatking.

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